Washington Man: Getting Freaky On the Highway Edition!

ELBE, Wash. (KOMO) – A naked man and woman were having sex in their car, while driving on State Route 7 with their baby in the back seat, when they crashed Wednesday night near La Grande, according to the State Patrol.

The crash happened around 6 p.m. in the 48400 block of Mountain Highway.

Troopers said the man was driving when he missed a curve, went off the road and crashed into a tree.

Witnesses told troopers both the man and woman were naked when they got out of the car. Troopers said they were also both impaired.

You’d expect this type of behavior to take place in Florida, and, historically, you’d be correct:

A couple seen having sex while driving on Interstate 95 followed a couple in another car who was watching them, eventually pulling a gun during a confrontation at a business, according to the Nassau County Sheriff’s Office.

Deputies said Louis Carr was in a car with his girlfriend and 3-year-old son driving north on I-95 at the Airport Road exit about 3:30 p.m. Sunday. They had left the Jaguars game early, and that’s when they say they saw Suzanne Welker giving Ernest Gonzales oral sex while Gonzales was driving a SUV.

“I pointed to my old lady. She looked across me about that time, she jumped up in the seat bare butt, mooned us through the window,” Carr said of the suspect.

While the couple was watching the suspects, they said Welker was trying to climb Gonzales’ lap, and she was naked and could be seen clearly by everyone in the area, deputies said.

Also, Wisconsin, wait, what?

A Wisconsin couple wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of their good time. Not even the beam of a police flashlight.

The man and woman were arrested Monday after being caught having sex in their car — and then refusing to stop.

According to the police report, Officer A. Westpfahl was called to Adams St. to investigate a report of someone suspiciously looking into cars. He didn’t find anyone, and began walking up to the home of the person who’d called 911 to talk to her.

As he approached her home, he said suddenly heard “what sounded like someone moaning.” Suddenly, the 911 caller called out from an open window on the second floor and said there were two people in front of her home having sex in a car.

At least the couple in Wisconsin were in a parked, though obviously not completely stationary, car.

Anyone else? Chicago, IL come on down! So to speak.

This whole thing gives new meaning to the term double airbags, 5th gear, and cruise control!

61 replies
  1. 1
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    What are these Floridians doing in Washington and Wisconsin, anyways?

  2. 2
    lollipopguild says:

    On Wisconsin!

  3. 3
  4. 4
    Duane says:

    Ah, sex in a car. I remember that.

  5. 5
    Yutsano says:

    Oddsfish. Firefox just more or less completely gave up the ghost on me.

  6. 6
    Zinsky says:

    This is taking “distracted driving ” to a whole new level…

  7. 7
    Adam L Silverman says:

    Roy Moore is on the move!

  8. 8
    Suzanne says:

    Sex in a car is not so great, IMHO. Maybe in the back of a pickup it would be better.

  9. 9
    NotMax says:

    Gee, our old LaSalle ran great
    Those were the days

  10. 10
    hellslittlestangel says:

    As someone who can’t simultaneously drive and listen to the radio, I have to admit I’m impressed.

  11. 11
    Yutsano says:

    @Suzanne: Tailgate sex is best sex. Also: make sure you know how the guy has an orgasm before you try anything like road head.

  12. 12
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Zinsky: As well as downshifting and riding the clutch.

  13. 13
    cope says:

    Uh, and why did you think it important to infect my brain with these tidbits?

  14. 14
    debbie says:

    Howard Stern is probably involved in this some way.

  15. 15
    FlyingToaster says:

    @Yutsano: Earlier this evening I ended up disabling all of the “new” extensions for FF57 and then re-enabling them one-at-a-time. There are still some I can’t yet replace with things that work (the one that blocked Facebook tracking me is driving me nuts, since I don’t have a fucking Facebook account). Two of the “replacement” extensions just hung Firefox altogether. I deleted them and am going bare until I can find some that don’t fuck things up.

  16. 16
    Amir Khalid says:

    You have to give the sex-while-driving couple credit for being pro-life. They didn’t let being in charge of a motor vehicle stop them from, uh, working to add to their family.

  17. 17
    Suzanne says:

    @Yutsano: I always drove cars that had a stick shift or the automatic shifter in the way. Road head is just not practical.

  18. 18
    NotMax says:

    @Yutsano

    Wasn’t Tailgate shorthand for the Wilbur Mills scandal?

    ;)

  19. 19
    Mike J says:

    7 is the highway to Mt Rainier. Obviously they were trying to get to Paradise.

  20. 20
    geg6 says:

    Had plenty of car sex in my youth, but never while moving. Would have been quite a trick for me in those days anyway. It was difficult enough as it was, what with the contortions required to have sex in my boyfriend’s Corvette. Had it not been a convertible, I’d have been a virgin much longer.

  21. 21
    NotMax says:

    @FlyingToaster

    Rolled my Firefox back to 56.0.2 until some extensions I rely on have sufficient time to play catch-up and release stable versions.

  22. 22
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Yutsano: you’re a dude, right?

  23. 23
    NotMax says:

    @geg6

    Friend has his father’s (or maybe it was grandfather’s) ’64 Corvette, which he keeps garaged on another island at a relative’s place. Think he may just be chagrined about driving it.

    It’s an automatic.

  24. 24
    Jeffro says:

    Provided that there are no injured (or worse!) bystanders…it’s not the worst thing in the world that a couple can’t hold off until they get back to the ranch, so to speak.

  25. 25
    geg6 says:

    @NotMax:

    Seriously? An automatic? They made those?

    I love Corvettes. My godfather had a series of them, the finest of which was a ‘63 split window. High school boyfriend’s (the one I lost my virginity in) was a ‘70 convertible. Not fond of the latest iteration but those 1960s ‘Vettes were and still are some fine cars.

  26. 26
    woodrowfan says:

    anybody else here watching “American Gods.”?? Yes, it’s related to this topic. ;)

  27. 27
    cynthia ackerman says:

    @Adam L Silverman:

    The story says he “missed a curve.”

    Which one?

  28. 28
    Doug R says:

    They be “BANGING”.
    The child was uninjured! Parents of the year!

  29. 29
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @cynthia ackerman: I do not know.

  30. 30
    NotMax says:

    @geg6

    Seriously. They made them.

    While on the subject of WTF cars, have a very distant quasi-relation* who has a ’59 Cadillac station wagon. No, hot a hearse, an honest to goodness made at the factory station wagon. Only a few dozen were produced.

    *Long story, don’t ask.

  31. 31
    Amir Khalid says:

    @NotMax:
    I have no idea it’s even an option on sports cars. Doesn’t auto transmission take away a key part of the driving experience?

  32. 32
    Peale says:

    @Adam L Silverman: yep. At the garden state plaza mall, I was greeted by a few armor clad, big rifle toting rapid response team members. I figured something had spooked them to mull about. Or they were looking for $2.99 pillows at JC Penney’s.

  33. 33
    Urlhix says:

    Had to explain to someone in their 50’s what road head was during our Cards Against Humanity session last night.

  34. 34
    NotMax says:

    @Amir Khalid

    Stats on the options for the ’64. Automatics were 11% of production run.

    And lo, unto today (although it’s a buffed up 10-speed auto now),

  35. 35
    rikyrah says:

    This thread has been hilarious 😄

  36. 36
    Felonius Monk says:

    A naked man and woman were having sex in their car, while driving on State Route 7 … the man was driving when he missed a curve, went off the road and crashed into a tree.

    That sounds like extreme Coitus Interruptus.

  37. 37
    Yutsano says:

    @Steve in the ATL: *looks down pants*
    Seems that way.

  38. 38
    NotMax says:

    In the spirit of more equality, shouldn’t the post title be something more like Washington Man (and Woman)?

  39. 39
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Peale: Be On the Lookout for a white man in his mid 60s with a cowboy hat, leather vest, airweight J frame revolver (no holster) hanging out near the Orange Julius!

  40. 40
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @NotMax: I realized that right after I hit publish and decided just to leave it alone.

  41. 41
    NotMax says:

    On the minus side, shamefacedly admit to paging through the “limited time deals” on Amazon.

    On the plus side, Mom’s December holiday gift is taken care of. Snagged it with 11 minutes to spare.

  42. 42
    PhoenixRising says:

    Anyone else find it a bit off that 2 of these couples who just couldn’t wait had a young child IN THE CAR? When I had a kid that age I felt happy to be getting close with the Mrs on babysitting nights–had I suggested such a thing with the child in the car, I’d have been looking at court supervised visitation with the child we already had. Some say she’s an overprotective mother, I guess…

  43. 43
    Suzanne says:

    @PhoenixRising: Eh, if the kid was asleep, it doesn’t strike me as any more scandalous than the rest of the story.

  44. 44
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Steve in the ATL:

    Yes, he is. Give it a minute, you’ll figure it out.

  45. 45
    jl says:

    ” I want to get one of her bouncing again ” has be be a phrase for the 911 call Hall of Fame.

    But, the FL couple seem to be able to have sex while driving, and road raging another car because the driver ‘watched them’… well… duh…
    So, following another car and taking some pot shots at it while having sex while driving… in FL. Florida is gong to be tough to beat as our number one crazy state. They’ll do anything to hang on to the title. Damn them.

  46. 46
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @PhoenixRising: Kids have to learn somewhere.//

  47. 47
    marcopolo says:

    This is what station wagons were invented for, right? Parked, of course–hard to reach the steering wheel and accelerator from the back seat. Our family had a comfy red AMC Rambler. It was lovely. Of course, they don’t actually make station wagons anymore do they. Come to think of it, maybe that’s one reason why kids are having less sex nowadays.

  48. 48
    NotMax says:

    @marcopolo

    Still a few, kind’a sort’a. #1#2

  49. 49
    Mnemosyne says:

    @NotMax:

    Also, the Subaru Outback is an SUV in the form of a station wagon.

  50. 50
    Jackie says:

    Thankfully I live in southeastern WA, so doesn’t apply to me 🤪

  51. 51
    ruemara says:

    All these folks multitasking and doing none of the tasks well.

  52. 52
    Death Panel Truck says:

    Troopers said they were also both impaired.

    You don’t say.

  53. 53
    Arclite says:

    Self driving cars can’t arrive soon enough.

  54. 54
    Lurking Canadian says:

    Sex in a car? Sure. Century old tradition at this point, just try to find an out of the way place.

    Sex in a moving car? Well, I suppose if the driver either doesn’t mind or is on the other side of one of those soundproof screens, sure go nuts, Mr. and Mrs. Mnuchin. We have plenty of other reasons to hate your guts.

    Sex at the wheel of a moving car? With a kid in the back seat? WTF is wrong with people? Is there such a thing as felony reckless driving?

  55. 55
    opiejeanne says:

    @Mike J: It wasn’t us! I swear it wasn’t us!

  56. 56
    Balconesfault says:

    @Felonius Monk: good it wasn’t road head at the time or they may have gone full Garp.

  57. 57
    opiejeanne says:

    @Balconesfault: I did think of that scene from the book.

  58. 58
    Mr. Prosser says:

    And that’s what they call “Ballin’ the Jack.”

  59. 59
    Mart says:

    In our youth wife and I went to a bar/restaurant to meet some folks. They were gone. I remembered seeing my friend’s car in the lot. I went to put my business card under the wiper with a note – sorry we miss… and goodness gracious, the things those two people, who were married, but not to each other, were doing. I don’t remember how, but I must have run backwards to the restaurant door. With my back to the door, my wife comes out and asks me why I am holding the card up in the air? I folded and squealed on them. Wife and I had all sorts of ethical issues to deal with right quick, and over the next few weeks. We did manage to collect ourselves and circle around the car about four times to make sure we were really seeing what we were seeing.

  60. 60
    Lynn Dee says:

    This story would be funny (maybe) if they didn’t have their baby in the car.

  61. 61
    Rand Careaga says:

    July 1979, in a 1973 VW bug, Interstate 80 halfway through Nevada en route to a wedding in Idaho. Imperfect control of the car at one point, recovered before anything consequential occurred. I boggle at some of the things we got up to in our twenties—and my frontal lobes should have completed their wiring by then.

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