'Avoiding politics' at Thanksgiving is how we got Trump. Put on juggalo war paint and politicize everything. Redistribute the bread rolls. Nationalize the Monopoly game. Unionize the flag football league. Incite a kids' table uprising. Make a guillotine for your table centerpiece
— Zeddy (@ZeddRebel) November 22, 2017
A frank confession: I’m not thankful this year and I’m not going to pretend to be. I’m defiant. If the Pilgrims had come all this way to find on our shores America’s current domestic politics, they would have vomited all the food at the first Thanksgiving dinner. #sorrynotsorry
— Benjamin Wittes (@benjaminwittes) November 22, 2017
Losing friends and family to own the libs https://t.co/x9vsDwpPqn
— Will Sommer (@willsommer) November 22, 2017
Could be worse… as the Washington Post points out, there were multiple contenders for “First American Thanksgiving”, from Florida in 1565 (they ate garbanzos with salt pork), to Texas in 1598 (no menu specified) to Maine in 1607:
…An English settlement in Maine known as the Popham Colony held a “harvest feast and prayer meeting” with Abenaki people in 1607, according to the Library of Congress. The settlement was abandoned the next year.
And then there’s Jamestown — that ignominious Chesapeake colony some would rather forget. During the harsh winter of 1609, the settlers dwindled from 490 to just 60 people, and may have resorted to eating the dead. The next spring, in 1610, a ship filled with rations was met with a “thanksgiving prayer service” and celebration, the Library of Congress says…
Which kinda puts tofurkey and your aunt’s weird sweet-potato-raisins-and-marshmellows side dish in perspective, yes?
Besides carb-loading and relative-visiting, what’s on the agenda for the day?
This Thanksgiving, when your family takes turns asking what they’re grateful for, burp loudly and say “Robert Mueller.”
— God (@TheGoodGodAbove) November 22, 2017
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!…. We are off tomorrow and back Friday with out first court special… pic.twitter.com/RM1EKHTnKq
— Ari Melber (@AriMelber) November 23, 2017