How Broken as a Person Must You Be

In a day and age where few things shock me, this one did:

Last month, Big Brothers Big Sisters of South Central West Virginia was extremely fortunate to receive a year-long $20,000 grant to increase staff knowledge of #LGBTQ issues through training and provide assistance with developing local partnerships to best serve LGBTQ youth.

Soon after accepting the LGBTQ grant, however, a representative of three foundations halted funding to the organization and has not fulfilled a financial pledge made late last year.

Sadly, the amount was so great it may force us to suspend some services and programs.

Big Brothers Big Sisters believes inherent in every child is the ability to succeed and thrive in life. We stand true to our mission to provide children facing adversity with strong and enduring, professionally supported one-to-one relationships that change their lives for the better, forever.

This includes all children.

One in three kids don’t have the support of a caring role model. Studies show LGBTQ youth are less likely than their non-LGBTQ peers to have supportive adults in their lives. Every day we see the positive impact mentoring can have, and for LGBTQ youth, this can be especially important since they are at greater risk of attempting suicide and being victim to hate crimes and bullying.

Suspending services, even temporarily, would have a negative impact on the children currently in our program. Many would feel let down yet again. Another disappointment in a series of disappointments. Rejected again.

If we are to once and for all change the long-term narrative for WV kids and the Mountain State, it is time we recognized the value of ALL of our children. It is time we invest in their future, which in turn defines the future for our state. I don’t want to look back in 10 years to see talent left undiscovered.

I called and had a very nice chat with Sara McDowell, the executive director of the organization, and this has put a real gap in there budget (close to $100k). And since these are funds that were promised last year and then reneged upon, it makes their problem even worse.

It’s worth noting that these are children who are also being hit by the double whammy of the opioid crisis we talked earlier, and in some cases adults are trafficking the children for sex to feed their addiction. It’s just a horrible mess.

At any rate, I was hoping you all would help make their donations pages go viral. There is a GoFundMe that you can find here , and there is a donations page on their actual website. Either works.

(via WV Public)

93 replies
  1. 1

    So what shitheel yanked the money? Was it somebody in the Big Brothers-Sisters organization or somebody from an organization that was giving the money? And how threatening are these kids to these losers? How can people be so fucking scared of children?

  2. 2

    @Smedley Darlington Prunebanks (Formerly Mumphrey, et al.): My bet would be on religious related orgs. Christians my a$$.

  3. 3
    Baud says:

    This doesn’t shock me.

  4. 4
    Hunter Gathers says:

    I can guaran-god-damn-tee you that the prick that did this is still very confused about the stiffy he got while watching that episode of Magnum, P.I. back in 1983. Probably calls his wife Mother.

  5. 5
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Smedley Darlington Prunebanks (Formerly Mumphrey, et al.):

    That person, and the foundations s/he represents, should be named and shamed.

  6. 6
    KBS says:

    Done. Thanks for posting this!

  7. 7
  8. 8
    jacy says:

    Just kicked in a bit — will add to it as soon as the mortgage is paid. Will pass it around.

  9. 9
    donnah says:

    I’ll donate gladly.

    My fear is that as more and more programs see cuts in funding, either cuts in federal help or by major donors, lots more people are going to need help. With Trump’s alleged opioid aid, a whopping budget of $57,000, states will be scrambling to get anything accomplished. Add in every group who used to be funded, organizations within or outside federal protection and pretty soon we, the people will be donating just to keep the National Weather Service functioning.

    The Republicans are stripping away everything from health care to Veteran’s aid. We will not see widespread raises in our incomes. States will be bearing the brunt of lost federal money.

    How can we sustain all of it?

  10. 10
    Faithful Lurker says:

    Please let us have the names of the Foundations that have reneged on their pledges in this cowardly way. I think the jackals have a right to know. These organizations like to do their ugly work in secret.

  11. 11
    🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) 🗳 🌷 says:

    Exactly. Although I fear they would not be shamed but would merely react with indignance and double down.

  12. 12
    Mary G says:

    I put in a bit and shared it on Facebook, which I have never done before.

  13. 13
    joel hanes says:

    The representative, she said, would not reveal what those issues were, but immediately halted any future funding.
    “And there are still previous pledged funds that haven’t been paid,” McDowell said.
    She would not identify the representative or the organizations that had decided to pull their funding.
    “I don’t think the timing is coincidental,” McDowell said. “It is my opinion that the LGBTQ program was not going to be welcomed by the representative for those donors. That’s based on my experience with the donor representative and the conversations I’ve had with others.”
    “We’ve had people say their faith and religion would not allow them to support that [training program], and again, we’re not asking anyone to support anything. We want to support kids. We want them to be visible, viable and valued, no matter who they are,” she said.
    McDowell said two employees left the Big Brothers Big Sisters office in Beckley around the time the grant was announced, but she said she could not discuss personnel matters or say if any reason was given for the resignations.

  14. 14
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) 🗳 🌷:

    It sounds as though the three foundations that reneged on their pledges are probably smallish local family foundations, managed by one person (almost certainly a local banker) who has a great deal of autonomy and leeway as to how grants are disbursed. Quite likely a prominent and respected member of the community. If they haven’t done so already, I hope a delegation from the BB/BS Board of Directors pays a call and does some arm-twisting.

  15. 15
    Calouste says:

    “And there are still previous pledged funds that haven’t been paid,” McDowell said.

    So, the shitgibbon foundation then.

  16. 16
    Ladyraxterinok says:

    The hatred for LGBT people is sickening. And for children on top of that.

    The major source of such hatred, from what I’ve read, is conservative ‘christians’ (Evangelicals and Catholics). And based on so few ‘proof texts.’

    There is such a mass of anger and rage and hate in our ountry today.

  17. 17
    Scamp Dog says:

    I just kicked in, directly on their site.

  18. 18
    p.a. says:

    Fred Clark at Slacktivist has these people and their ‘religion’ pegged.

  19. 19
    Boatboy_srq says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: I’m donating and sharing soon as I get home. I would be interested in matching compensation to any journalist/photographer who has, or could procure, “dead girl / live boy” dirt on the decisionmaker at the fund(s) in question.

  20. 20
    debit says:

    Done. If we can get a dog From Bethany to Minneapolis, we should be able to help out some kids. You’re a good man, John Cole.

  21. 21
    Van Buren says:

    They won’t be happy until the country is just a big pile of smoldering rubble.

  22. 22
    SiubhanDuinne says:


    You know it’s out there. Although the arm-twisting I had in mind was more financial and less personally extortionate. At least to start with.

  23. 23
    StrokeDoctor says:

    When I applied to be a Big Brother back in the 80s as a young 20-someting I was told I should withhold from then the fact that I was gay. Don’t really know what their policy is now (and too damn tired to look it up) but hopefully that’s not part of the deal nowadays.

  24. 24
    Ruckus says:


    How can we sustain all of it?

    We can not. We do these things as a society because they are not sustainable otherwise. When we, as a society stop, the things that organizations like Big Brother, Big Sister already do because we either can’t or refuse to do as a society overwhelm them.

  25. 25
    dmsilev says:


    And yes, you can read that in multiple ways. Will kick in to help because it’s a worthy cause, but it’s really sad that for some people “hate the Other” trumps “love thy neighbor”.

  26. 26
    Davebo says:


    No, they shouldn’t be named, or shamed. Often ‘foundations’ are just trusts from individuals. They can spend their charitable funds where they please, how they please.

    Slagging them on the internet isn’t going to change their mind. But it might convince them to give up on philanthropy all together.

    So rather than having 3,000 people trashing them on the internet, get 3000 people who are obviously upset about this to cough up $100 a piece toward the gofundme page.

  27. 27
    Betty Cracker says:

    @Davebo: That last sentence is gratuitously dickish.

    ETA: I see you’ve thought better of it and deleted the dickish sentence. Good for you.

  28. 28
    trollhattan says:

    Hard to know what to do. Karen Handel was punished for ruining Komen with winning a House seat.

  29. 29
    El Caganer says:

    Well, wagging fingers at shitty foundations isn’t going to help BBBS meet their budget. Anybody out Pittsburgh way have contacts with the Benedum Foundation? They might be willing to make some sort of special arrangement to cover the difference. I dunno – before retiring, I had worked as a grant writer for 15 years…I met some squirrelly people, but nothing like this. That’s horrible, and the story needs to be spread across the nonprofit world, especially to other funders so that they can see what their “colleagues” are really made of.

  30. 30
    geg6 says:

    Donated and shared. I hate these fucking people that did this.

  31. 31
    🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) 🗳 🌷 says:

    A weird thing happened today when I picked up my paycheck. One of my managers asked me why CNN always “bashes” Trump. I couldn’t help but reply as if he had asked the question with the most obvious answer in the world. I said, “Because he does things that are worthy of being bashed”. He shared a look and a smile with the owner of where I work, then asked why Fox always supports him. I answered in the same matter-of-fact manner as before, “Because they’re a right-wing propaganda machine supporting right-wing policies.”

    And so I left. Can anybody tell me what that was about?

  32. 32

    @Davebo: Nah. They’re bigots with checkbooks. If they’re the sort of people who’d withdraw money from an organisation because it started giving out help to queer kids, then their idea of charity doesn’t even remotely match up with mine, and most of their “assistance” is likely going to theocrats who aren’t actually helping anyone. Fuckem.

    I’ll throw some money to the GoFundMe soon, and share this in a couple other places I post.

  33. 33
    Baud says:

    @🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) 🗳 🌷: Sounds like they are about to induct you into their secret society.

  34. 34
    🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) 🗳 🌷 says:


    Slagging them on the internet isn’t going to change their mind. But it might convince them to give up on philanthropy all together.

    Would torturing them change their minds?
    But seriously, I understand they can spend their money however they want, but the reality is a little different. Pulling money that you promised as a donor because the donoree is going to use it to help icky queer kids is a shitty thing to do and they should be ashamed of that. They shouldn’t be in the charity business to begin with if that’s all it takes.

  35. 35
    oatler. says:

    that were promised last year and then reneged upon

    Murder by passive verb.

  36. 36
    geg6 says:

    @El Caganer:

    No contacts with The Benedum Foundation but I have contacts with The Pittsburgh Foundation. Don’t know if they fund this type of stuff or they fund anything in West Virginia, but it won’t hurt to ask my contacts there. They may know a local foundation that could pick up the ball. Is Jay Rockefeller still alive? Could someone bring it to his attention or that of his family? They have WV ties and loads of cash for charity.

  37. 37
    scav says:

    They really have taken that “Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” message and finessed it into “Love thy neighbor if and only if they are exactly as youself in every characteristic and, moreover, as you are in theory and not in practice. Anyone else must necessarily be actively and pervasively abused in the name of the living loving god and prince of peace. P.S. Admire us as the only good people.”

  38. 38
    ChrisGrrr says:


    Reneging on a prior promise is the opposite of what Jesus would do.

  39. 39
    El Caganer says:

    @geg6: My family’s from Pittsburgh (and WVA, too), but I haven’t lived there in over 50 years. I kind of doubt that the P’burgh Foundation would extend into WVA, but it’s possible. If I could help these folks out, I’d be happy to do some grant research (my specialty!) and find some potential funders for them, but they probably know the grantmaker scene out there far better than I do.

  40. 40
    El Caganer says:

    @ChrisGrrr: No, it’s just that most versions of the New Testament leave out the last line of the Sermon on the Mount: “Really had you guys going there for a minute, didn’t I?”

  41. 41
    Ohio Mom says:

    @🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) 🗳 🌷: I hope Baud is right. Else they are right wingers who had a bet that you were a Libtard.

    Then again, if you had answered with something like, “They do? I don’t know, I don’t watch TV,” they would have thought that was weird, who doesn’t watch TV?

  42. 42
    🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) 🗳 🌷 says:

    Ha! No, I think it was either a bet they had to see how I was going to react or he (manager) really thinks CNN is full of shit re: Trump and thought my answer was stupid. Like what we think when a RWNJ claims Hillary colluded with the Russians to lose the election. The original question he asked me is if I thought CNN was “independent”. That was before I asked for clarification.

  43. 43
    hilts says:


    Daily Beast’s Ken Klippenstein tweeted a link to Whitefish Energy’s contract to rebuild Puerto Rico’s electrical grid before it was taken down

  44. 44

    @Ohio Mom:

    who doesn’t watch TV

    I just watch the local news and my colleges’ sportsball.

  45. 45
    🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) 🗳 🌷 says:

    @Ohio Mom:
    That’s what I think happened. They already know I’m a libtard. I’m not shy about my political opinions at my dead end part-time minimum wage-slave job. They’re generally ok people. They haven’t discussed their own politics much.

    Looking back, I wished I would have asked them, “Do you really know how close we are to dictatorship in the guise of democracy? Do you?”

  46. 46

    I worked in fundraising and development for years. It’s a tight knit community. I would DEFINITELY name and shame, AND I would also contact the Foundation Center, the Chronicle of Philanthropy, and any state boards that regulate charities. This is sketchy behavior. Maybe not illegal but sketchy as hell.

  47. 47
    ChrisGrrr says:

    @El Caganer: Well, hey, you didn’t pull the dispensational B.S. that He was speaking only to the local audience, but He’s a total war machine now.

  48. 48
    dr. bloor says:

    @🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) 🗳 🌷: Time to start looking for a new job. These people are not your friends, and even less the sort of people you want to find yourself subordinate to.

  49. 49
    Ohio Mom says:

    @🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) 🗳 🌷: Ohio Dad works in a very small engineering company — seven employees, including him — and he is undercover as a sane person. The rest of them are flaming dittoheads. I don’t know how he does it but it is very heroic.

    With very few exceptions, I think it generally a bad idea to bring politics into the workplace because the odds are too high it will work against you.

    ETA: what Dr Bloor said

  50. 50
    Barbara says:

    @Boatboy_srq: Pious enough to yank the money but not pious enough to proclaim their principles out loud.

  51. 51
  52. 52
    the Conster says:

    @Van Buren:


  53. 53
    El Caganer says:

    @Brendancalling: Yesyesyes. I have never heard of something like this. The mask comes off sometimes, doesn’t it?

  54. 54
    🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) 🗳 🌷 says:

    @dr. bloor:
    I’ve been looking for a new one anyway for the past few months. Somewhere with a more steady and regular schedule that pays more.

  55. 55
    El Caganer says:

    @ChrisGrrr: You mean the Erick EndlessErick view of Xtianity? In which the parable of the Good Samaritan is an embarrassment, not a tale of wisdom?

  56. 56
    dr. luba says:

    Just a note from someone who’s used GoFundMe to raise money–they take a lot from non-profits. 5% for themselves, and 3.5% for the credit card company. If you can, donate directly to the charity–they get more of the money that way.

    Note: YouCaring is a much better deal–they take only the credit card fee, and ask donors to donate to them (tips).

  57. 57
    khead says:

    A bit OT: Why am I seeing stories about reporters’ kids in the White House?

  58. 58
    Mike J says:

    @khead: Trump commented on the weight of six year olds.

  59. 59
  60. 60
    Corner Stone says:

    @Mike J: Do they weigh the same as a duck?

  61. 61
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Mike J: You usually find it in the cold case right next to the lox and pickled herring.

  62. 62
  63. 63
    Mike J says:

    @Adam L Silverman: A truck tried to block them in as they were leaving. Not the least bit suspicious.

  64. 64
    Mary G says:

    Mark Halperin accusers coming out of the woodwork now. CNN has four more:

    "This was rough, and hard, and violent. And not in a seductive way — in a way that telegraphs some anger"— Oliver Darcy (@oliverdarcy) October 27, 2017

  65. 65
    Mary G says:

    @Mary G: ETA: why are reporters bringing their children to the White House anyway? I don’t know anyone who’s taken their kids to work to trick or treat.

    ETA 2: Go Dodgers!

  66. 66

    @Ohio Mom:
    It makes dealing with my Berniebot boss seem tame.

  67. 67
    Ruckus says:

    @Ohio Mom:
    I work in a small business 8 employees now and my boss does not allow any political talk in the shop, if he knows about it. Everyone has been told, if for no other time than when at lunch and me sitting next to his mom she started to say something. He was sitting across from me and as I think saw my expression start to change and said very loudly, “We do not discuss politics in this shop.” I’ve had people ask me questions a time or three and I try to explain without mentioning names or parties. I think they all know where I stand though. Except mom who is in her 90s and only visits once in a while now.

  68. 68
    low-tech cyclist says:

    Tossed in a few shekels.

    Wish I could say I was surprised in the least, but of course I’m not. This has gotten to be an old story. For instance, in March 2014, World Vision said they wouldn’t discriminate against LGBT people in their hiring. In just a few days, 3,500 donors revoked their pledges to support needy Third World children, punishing the kids for what they regarded as the sins of the organization.

    Yes, there are horrible people in this world. I am happy to chip in a few bucks to make up in small part for the hard-heartedness and sheer assholishness of their donors, who undoubtedly think they’re being good Christians by screwing over some kids.

  69. 69
    khead says:

    @Mike J:

    Let me rephrase. Why is there even an event at the White House for the children of the folks who report on the White House?

    Bonus points to Trump for being amazed that the “media produced such beautiful children”.

  70. 70
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Mike J: Well the sign at Tekmanski’s house does say private drive, no turnarounds. You can’t violate that type of instruction and expect to get away with it.

  71. 71
    Ruckus says:

    @dr. luba:
    I was going to give money to my fellow employee’s mom for his funeral expenses but his sister started a gofund me and I decided to give there without looking at who paid them. It’s currently 8% out of donations, 5% to gofund and 3% to CC fees. That 3% is a higher fee than I paid in my retail store and I didn’t have the cash flow gofund me has so something seems fishy there as well.
    Anyway it’s going to have to be a very important donation to get me to pay gofund me ever again.

  72. 72
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Mary G: This is going to get bigger and bigger. Not just in regard to Halperin. It will, I think, eventually consume elites and notables across all sectors. I fully expect that despite the chickenshit rules Congress imposed on its own members and staffers to protect misbehaving members and staffers that complaints will begin. And we’re going to find that some of these involve the pages. And some of them are going to include the male pages as well as the female ones. Same thing across the financial and business sectors, as well as the news and entertainment media. And the judiciary and the military too. Men that we think, right now, are untouchably powerful are going to get long overdue just desserts. As perpetrators, as enablers of perpetrators, and/or as covering up for perpetrators. Does anyone really think no one knew what Hastert or Foley were up to? Does anyone doubt for a minute that the VP isn’t going to have fingers pointed at him given Mother’s rules for interaction with women? That what McConnell’s missing DD 214 might indicate is the only time he’s done what people whisper about? That Jamie Dimon has never chased someone around his desk?

  73. 73

    Wasn’t somebody around here going to create a website called “Go Fuck Yourself” to crowdfund being obnoxious to people we hate?

  74. 74

    @Ruckus: I used to edit The Journal of Business and Technical Communication. We once published an article by some authors from Northern Ireland on practices businesses used to lower conflict in the workplace between Catholics and Protestants. They included not only not talking about the Troubles at work, but also things like not wearing gear from sports teams that were identified one way or the other. It was fascinating stuff.

  75. 75

    @🌎 🇺🇸 Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) 🗳 🌷: I would say that I am not comfortable discussing politics on the job.

  76. 76
    lgerard says:

    @Mary G:

    why are reporters bringing their children to the White House anyway? I don’t know anyone who’s taken their kids to work to trick or treat.

    Well it is like taking them to a haunted house isn’t it?

  77. 77
    Ruckus says:

    @Roger Moore:
    I don’t remember that but it sounds like a good idea.
    No wait that was my idea! Yeah that’s it, my idea.

  78. 78
    Kay Eye says:

    I sent some and it was a pleasure. So glad I had memorized a credit card, made it easy from here on vacation. (Yay, VA, see you in a few days TX you miserable Ted Cruz-electing behemoth.)
    These are our children. Big Bro/Big Sis works for the common good. Do this in memory of Walter. I did.

  79. 79
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Adam L Silverman:

    This is going to get bigger and bigger. Not just in regard to Halperin. It will, I think, eventually consume elites and notables across all sectors.

    Sounds like a good time to be a labor and employment lawyer!

  80. 80
    Ruckus says:


    Well it is like taking them to a haunted house isn’t it?

    Bet it seems like it now. I imagine if my parents had taken me to see that fat fuck that lives there now, I’d have run away from home. As fast as my little feet would take me. And I’d bet I could become a ward of the court because of child abuse.

  81. 81
    Ruckus says:

    @Dorothy A. Winsor (formerly Iowa Old Lady):
    An even easier way would be not to elect assholes to fuck over so many people in the first place. But then I’m a dreamer of better times and places.

  82. 82
    Corner Stone says:

    @Steve in the ATL: It may be helpful if you label yourself correctly.

  83. 83
    Aleta says:

    Thanks very much John. Done; and passed on to friends. Will do again 1st week in Nov.

    @dr. luba: @Ruckus: I’ve wondered about that. Thanks.

  84. 84
    TS says:

    @Mary G:

    why are reporters bringing their children to the White House anyway?

    to curry favor with the president* – no sane person would let their children anywhere near trump

  85. 85
    Barbara says:

    I donated a bit and posted the link in the post to my Facebook page. I hope others are similarly motivated.

  86. 86
    SiubhanDuinne says:


    If you watch the video, most of the kids look scared or apprehensive.

    Then there were Perfect POTUS and Forever FLOTUS interacting with babies and little kids. Compare and contrast!!

  87. 87
    chris says:

    @Adam L Silverman:

    McConnell’s missing DD 214

    OK, you got me . I had to look and, Oh, my goodness! But I doubt we’ll ever know.

  88. 88


    If you watch the video, most of the kids look scared or apprehensive.

    Of course they are. What sane child isn’t afraid of clowns?

  89. 89
    satby says:

    Donated on their website and shared on FB too, asking my friends to consider a donation as well. It would be great if some high profile celebrity would help this go viral, but I don’t know any. AFAIK.

  90. 90
    Aleta says:

    @Mike J: It’s against all reason and integrity.

  91. 91

    @satby: I went to middle & high school with an Oscar-winning producer, but I haven’t really spoken to her in years, so I dunno if she’d pay attention if I linked this to her FB. On the other hand, she won her Oscar for Moonlight, so this story would certainly be up her alley.

    The main thing that’s really keeping me from going ahead and sending it to her is that I’m not entirely sure what I’d say. Also I’d kind of like to reopen my communication to her by explaining how much her film meant to me, and, well, I’m still working on that piece of writing.

  92. 92
    Aleta says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: Compare and contrast!!

    A. Love. No fear of letting it pour from their hearts. Lighting up the room with it for the kids to feel.
    B. Giving kids a chill. No fear of revealing his hideous heart. Their fun dying a nightmarish death.

  93. 93
    J R in WV says:

    I read this yesterday, stunned but not surprised. Came back today, saw that the GoFundMe is not doing well, also saw that the costs there are higher, so went to their website and used their PayPal account – did a bigger donation than I usually do, it’s for little kids.

    ETA: I agree that the donor who backed out is a special kind of nasty hater who should be outed. No real Christian would back out of helping kids just because some of those kids might be gay. Some of any group bigger than 15 or so are almost bound to be gay or otherwise off the main stream.

    I have gay friends and relatives, and I love them as much as I love anyone else.

    Also FQ that guy!! Rusty farm tools!

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