Late Night Roundup: Statler, Waldorf & Groucho Review Trump’s “Afghanistan” Speech


“Let’s Get This Over With” edition:

26 replies
  1. 1
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    The vile Villager pundits cannot be rounded up and placed up against a wall soon enough.

  2. 2
    Yutsano says:

    Didn’t watch, Can’t stand watching Dolt45 talk. Even in his native Neanderthal*.

    *with apologies to all Neanderthals.

  3. 3
    EBT says:

    “Kill them all and let god sort them out” is the plan a lot of the right really fucking wants.

  4. 4
    Adria McDowell says:

    We’ll still have combat troops in AFG when my kid turns 18, and she’s five. Utterly ridiculous.

  5. 5
    Yutsano says:

    @EBT: The Albigensian Crusade never ended.

  6. 6
    sharl says:

    OT – I keep forgetting that the missing sailors on the USS John S. McCain may have been trapped in the flooded compartments of the ship. They are now sending divers into those areas to look.

    #USSJohnSMcCain Update: Divers will access sealed compartments located in damaged parts of the ship.— 7th Fleet (@US7thFleet) August 22, 2017

  7. 7
    Amir Khalid says:

    So Trump’s big announcement on Afghanistan was … basically nothing? I expected as much. I am a bit disappointed, though, that he didn’t beclown himself again with some beyond-the-pale adlib..

  8. 8
    Brachiator says:

    So let me get this straight. We don’t have ambassadors for Afghanistan or South Korea, and we don’t have State Department people in place for various Asia desks.

    Is this another example of running the country like a business? Lean and mean. Not weighed down by reality or any need for foreign policy expertise?

  9. 9

    So he didn’t mention his electoral victories? I guess I guessed wrong.

  10. 10
    NotMax says:

    Half a billion simoleons? We all can surmise that’s just the starting point., as military projects such as these routinely overrun any initial budgeting.

    Includes a $50 million proposed cost for each hospital bed. And, in WTF-ery, a tent city for 13 thousand migrants?

    Trump’s Pentagon wants to spend almost $500 million on Guantánamo construction

  11. 11
    jl says:


    ” We don’t have ambassadors for Afghanistan ”

    Trump said we aren’t doing state building. See, he’s thought this all through. /s

  12. 12
    EBT says:

    So we are going to contract like pre WWI isolationist America, until someone smacks at us. Except we have long range bombs and missiles.

  13. 13
    Anne Laurie says:

    @Amir Khalid:

    I am a bit disappointed, though, that he didn’t beclown himself again with some beyond-the-pale adlib..

    Wait for his morning Twitter dump — he’s bound to have some profoundly clueless / offensive afterthoughts. Or attacks on people who he believes have been VERY UNFAIR to keep saying BAD! stuff like Same as President Obama’s policy only not as coherent or Thanks to everyone who called HRC a warmonger or What’s with all the sniffing, is he back on the… sudafed again?

  14. 14

    @EBT: Well, there are elements of pre-war Germany going on too.

  15. 15
    TheMightyTrowel says:

    @Major Major Major Major: You made me think of this great bit by Eddie Izzard.

    Hitler never played risk when he was a kid. Cause you know playing Risk you could never hold on to Asia. That Asia-eastern European area. 7 extra men at the beginning of every round, but you could never hold it!

  16. 16
    Amir Khalid says:

    Per the report, half of that money is for a five-bed hospital on base. Five beds. US$50 million for each one, to replace an existing 12-bed hospital. Sounds way out of whack..

  17. 17
    Sloane Ranger says:

    OK. Full disclosure, I did not hear speech but from reports it seems he’s been sold on a John Wayne approach of ‘let’s kill terrorists” rather than namby-pamby kumbeya Nation building.

    Taken to its logical conclusion doesn’t this approach lead to the US needing to have a permanent presence in Afghanistan for the foreseeable future and it’s troops becoming another armed group, granted better trained with better arms than others?

    Also, I thought Afghanistan was a NATO operation. Has he consulted with allies about this?

  18. 18
    Amir Khalid says:

    @Sloane Ranger:
    Don’t forget, Trump’s plan also includes being less careful about ensuring the Afghans killed by the US military are indeed terrorists. The resulting rise in deaths of children and other noncombatants will no doubt make the people of Afghanistan think more kindly of America.

  19. 19
    Sloane Ranger says:

    @Amir Khalid: Exactly, just another group killing those it considers enemies. Advantage – better training, better arms than others.

    Disadvantages – less knowledge of terrain and no or certainly diminishing levels of local support due to inability or unwillingness to distinguish between enemies, potential allies and neutrals.

    Result = More terrorists created for every one killed.

  20. 20
    sm*t cl*de says:

    “We are not nation building again,”

    Other countries rationalise their participation in the occupation of Afghanistan precisely on the grounds that it is nation-building, but if that goal has officially been abandoned, we’re all happy to go home.

  21. 21
    Another Scott says:

    @Amir Khalid: But you don’t understand. Each of those beds is for the “worst of the worst”. You know, those terrorist guys who at 75 can cloud men’s minds and suddenly become ten feet tall and have the strength of 30 men. Those WotW guys are like Transformers. Beds for such monsters are really, really expensive.



  22. 22
    Dman says:

    @Amir Khalid: he doesn’t have to tweet it. He called the Afghan leader prime minister when in fact he is a president.

  23. 23
    Sloane Ranger says:

    UK news just reported that Government Minister has welcomed Trump’s commitment to send more troops to Afghanistan and pointed out that the UK already increased troop numbers in June.

    Thinking/hoping this is a diplomatic FU to DOLTUS.

  24. 24
    Kolohe says:

    Trump might have been talking about Abdullah Abdullah. He was given a title of “Chief Executive”, sometimes rendered as “Prime Minister” in the press, in order to resolve the (somewhat still ongoing) dispute over the last (Afghan) Presidential election.

  25. 25
    Chris says:

    @Sloane Ranger:

    OK. Full disclosure, I did not hear speech but from reports it seems he’s been sold on a John Wayne approach of ‘let’s kill terrorists” rather than namby-pamby kumbeya Nation building.

    Yeah, as near as I can tell, he’s just doing the foreign policy version of “government should only be about killing, beating, and jailing people, not namby-pamby welfare state handouts to the lazy undeserving blacks and browns!”

  26. 26
    gratuitous says:

    Killing more brown people, send a bunch of kids to Afghanistan who aren’t related to anyone in the national media, and some other vagaries, and the national media swoon over how presidential Trump sounded. Nauseating.

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