— John Dean (@JohnWDean) August 19, 2017
If you haven’t been able to score a proper pair of eclipse glasses, the Washington Post weather page has instructions for making your own personal cardboard projection ‘theater’.
If you’re not going to be able to get outside for the event, the NYTimes has a useful article on How to Watch the Eclipse Online.
If you’re just exasperated / infuriated by all the clueless ombraphiles-come-lately cluttering up the perfect eclipse-watching venue you chose months ago, the NYTimes explains Why Some Say the Eclipse Is Best Experienced in a Crowd.
Apart from preparing, what’s on the agenda for the day?
Meanwhile, the Proper Authorities are issuing warnings both serious…
… The Federal Highway Administration is offering a number of tips for drivers who will be on the road during the event:
– Don’t stop along the interstate or park on the shoulder
– Exit the highway to a safe location to view the eclipse
– Don’t take photographs while driving
– Don’t wear eclipse glasses while driving
– Turn your headlights on
– Watch for pedestrians on smaller roads
– Prepare for extra congestion the day before, the day of and the day after in states in the path of the eclipse
– Avoid travel in the area of the main path, if possible
… and tongue-firmly-in-cheek:
— AJC (@ajc) August 9, 2017
In a hilarious Facebook post shared [two weeks ago], the Oconee County Georgia Sheriff’s Office shared a special announcement from Sheriff Scott Berry likening the eclipse to “the end of life on this planet as we know it.”
Sheriff Scott Berry announces that on Monday, August 21, at about the time your kids are riding home from school on the bus that there will be a solar eclipse of the sun as celestial forces no one understands will blot out the sun. It is very likely this is the end of life on this planet as we know it…
Don’t look at the eclipse, unless of course you live in the backwoods of Tennessee. In that case no one will hear you scream as you stumble blindly into a moonshine still or a bear trap. Millions of Americans are blinded every week by staring directly into the sun, eclipse or not. Don’t do it.
Your sunglasses will not protect you from certain death if you look at the sun. However, for a mere $29.99 (plus $9.00 shipping and handling) you can order “stare directly at the sun wearing these” glasses from NASA and the Home Shopping Network…
Leading scientists tell us that post eclipse the only two things they expect to survive are cockroaches and Facebook. Wait, is that one thing or two things????