Later Night Gleeful Grifters Open Thread: Newt Gingrich Has A Book to Sell

Sure, that’s how normal people think, but the Ambitious Albino Amphibian is still out there, chugging away, peddling his GOP-patented brand of toxic filth. Some wee-hour nostalgia for those of us who remember the 1990s…

Newt’s also trying to sell himself to Trump (or some upper-level Trump staffer who can give him a platform) as a Very Special Advisor, c.f. Dan Drezner’s “The worst Walter Lippmann impersonation ever“. Not a job you’d think anyone would be rushing to apply for, but then, the competition for Worst Repub Pundit is so intense these days! — it’s as though forty years of wingnut billionaires pouring money into college programs and veal-pen “think tanks” had created an oversupply of vicious little piranhas in almost-human form. The old pros just have to hustle that much harder to stand out amid the noise and churn…

25 replies
  1. 1

    Newt Gingrich is the (more pretentious) adult version of Cartman.

  2. 2
    westyny says:

    He’s been a phony since he relied on his experience as a lecturer at that major institution, The University of West Georgia, to boost his intemallectewal cred as a perfesser. Apologies to students and faculty of UWG, who probably deserved better than this blowhard as a colleague and course hectorer.

  3. 3
    Karmus says:

    @Butthurt Jordan Trombone (fka XTPD):

    Newt Gingrich is the (more pretentious) adult version of Cartman.

    Well said. Now if only he would say “screw you guys, I’m going home,” and do it.

  4. 4
    TenguPhule says:

    @Butthurt Jordan Trombone (fka XTPD): You take that back! Cartman has on occasion done some good for the world.

  5. 5
    Amir Khalid says:

    I don’t quite get it. I know Newt’s a buffoon, but surely even he can see that Trump’s administration is a sinking ship. This is no time to be signing up for a cruise.

  6. 6
    TenguPhule says:

    @Amir Khalid:

    I know Newt’s a buffoon, but surely even he can see that Trump’s administration is a sinking ship.

    That’s the beauty of it, he doesn’t.

    The sad thing is, he might be right.

  7. 7
    sm*t cl*de says:

    The military connotations of the “tip of the spear” metaphor make it especially appealing to Republicans — it flatters their uniformed cos-play — and they use it a lot. It’s meant to be a *favourable* metaphor, though, implying valour and audacity… Michelle Bachmann liked to describe herself as the “tip of the spear” in the Culture Wars (and, it may be, in her sexytime with Marcus). I don’t know if Gingrich thought his tweet through very thoroughly.

  8. 8
    Oatler. says:

    @TenguPhule: A cancer cell doesn’t agonize over the possibility it will kill the host, it only devours and books time on Meet The Press.

  9. 9
    Betty Cracker says:

    Like you said, Gingrich has a book to peddle. The book came up on my Twitter feed earlier this week:

  10. 10
    Betty Cracker says:

    Have we talked about that weird statement from Deputy AG Rosenstein yet? Pee tape! Pee tape! Pee tape!

  11. 11
    Patricia Kayden says:

    Pelosi’s statement is perfect. There is nothing Newt says about anything to which it is worth paying any attention.

    If I need advice on how to dump a dying spouse, I’ll call him. That’s about it.

  12. 12
    Anne Laurie says:

    @Betty Cracker: Just put the statement in my (scheduled) EMOT post.

    Murphy the Trickster God knows what could scare Trump enough that he demands a pre-denial…

  13. 13
    Betty Cracker says:

    @Anne Laurie: I really want it to be the pee tape. :)

  14. 14
    Manyakitty says:

    @Betty Cracker: What now? Did he say something new?

  15. 15
    Betty Cracker says:

    @Manyakitty: He issued a weird statement last night. WaPo link.

    ETA: The inclusion of the phrase about identifying the country has sparked some speculation that a bombshell related to the Steele dossier may be forthcoming. I’m hoping it’s the pee tape!

  16. 16
    Yellowdog says:

    @Amir Khalid: How is it a sinking ship? Trump will fire Mueller and there will be no independent counsel appointed by Congress. Impeachment is a non-starter until MAYBE Jan 2019 but the Senate will never remove him from office. Voter suppression and vote tampering has a very good chance of resulting in a second term for the shitgibbon after 2020. Gingrich is just riding the permanent GOP gravy train.

  17. 17
    raven says:

    @westyny: It’s actually a very good school with great faculty and staff who focus on teaching. He was there in the 70’s.

  18. 18
    kd bart says:

    Newt Gingrich hasn’t had an honest job in 20 years. He’s been a recipient of Right Wing Corporate Welfare ever since he was forced out of the Speakership. The grifter life is strong with this one.

  19. 19
    Amir Khalid says:

    Trump can’t fire Mueller directly; he must order Rod Rosenstein to do it, and Rosenstein says he won’t without a cause plausible enough to put in writing. Trump could sack Rosenstein and a succession of replacements until he, Trump, finds someone who will at his behest fire Mueller. That’s what President Nixon had to do to get Watergate special prosecutor Archibald Cox fired 40-odd years ago. Nixon wound up losing his job.

    It’s looking more and more likely that Mueller will find enough on the President, or on enough of his associates, to discredit Trump to the point where he is a critical liability to the Republican party. So suppose Bobby Three Sticks does that, and reports that he’s got a shit-ton of people dead to rights, maybe even including Lieber Führer himself. Once the criminal indictments started coming in, Congressional Republicans would need to abandon Trump to save themselves.

  20. 20
    Manyakitty says:

    @Betty Cracker: Hahahaha! Anchors aweigh!

  21. 21
    Scotian says:

    I’ve been for nearly 20 years now dating the true beginning of the current hyper-partisanship in American federal politics, especially Congressional, to the Contract For (ON!) America and the 1994 House takeover by Newt and company. Let us not forget the stirring name of Tom, The hammer, Delay and his role in helping destroy comity too . I also remember it came out of Newt’s House the idea that compromise was another word for date rape. When your legislators start with that concept when they have majority power, transform the House rules into making only votes on bills that the majority of the majority want brought forward ever, and then you blame the other side for making you do all these bad things because they are the ones being mean to you, that is almost textbook abuser behaviour in any Domestic Violence context I know of.

    Newt: eye of, associated with witches and spells and evil
    Gingrich: sounds a lot like Grinch.

    A rare example of and more accurate birth name for a politico and political operative/careerist I could not easily find.

  22. 22
    Vhh says:

    @westyny: UWG is an unselective school that admits people with combined SAT scores of 940/1600.
    Newt went into politics because he failed to get tenure there.

  23. 23
    No Drought No More says:

    “Newt Gingrich’s personal motto: Dance like nobody can Google your past statements”.

    For no particular reason, that reminds me of Bob Newhart’s explanation as to why he chose to forsake the life of a certified public accountant for a career in comedy: “I knew it was time to reconsider after I coined the personal motto, “That’s close enough”.

  24. 24
    bs says:

    @sm*t cl*de: “but just the tip (of the…spear). Huh. These guys are always on about tips of spears, & having (x) shoveed down their throat. Repubs just need Grindr accounts.

  25. 25
    r€nato says:

    “Deep state” – it’s the new “cuck” for the Kool Konservative Kids

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