greennotGreen: The Obituary

Folks,

As you know, a few weeks back we lost valued commenter and member of the community greennotGreen, whose real name was Carol Ann Bonner. I’ve been in touch with her sister as they try to cope with her loss while caring for their ailing mother. She was kind enough to respond to me a few weeks back as I passed on our love and well-wishes for the family.

As you can imagine, it’s easy to procrastinate many tasks when in grief. But Terry was kind enough to send me the obituary yesterday, and so I wanted to share it with the community.

I have promised Terry that I will extract a collection of threads for her family to have. She assured me that the pain is too great now, but that she’d love to peruse it later, when the wound isn’t so fresh.

As a final tribute to greennotGreen, I am planning a final celebratory thread for this Friday at noon Eastern. This will be a meeting spot to reminisce, bring up old comments or stories, and to mention the ways that she helped make this a better community.  That thread will be the final chapter of the pdf that I create for the family, so please do come and share. It will also be the perfect venue for you to submit links to threads you think should be included in the extract.

Should you have something to spare, please consider supporting one of her preferred charities listed on the upper-right of the desktop site.

Carol Ann Bonner, age 66 of Nashville, Tennessee passed away May 18, 2017 after a hard-fought battle against ovarian cancer, meeting her death with the grace and selflessness that defined her entire life.

Carol Ann was born in Little Rock, Arkansas but lived in Tennessee most of her life.  A brief time in Connecticut, where she graduated from high school, convinced her that Tennessee was her true home. She moved to Nashville to attend college and remained there. Vacations were often spent on the family farm in middle Tennessee. Carol Ann received her first Bachelor’s degree from Vanderbilt University and worked in a variety of jobs before a second degree led her to a career at the Vanderbilt Cell Imaging Shared Resource, a perfect blend of her scientific expertise and artistic ability. Carol Ann was passionate in all of her pursuits, including art, animal rescue, political activism, and gesneriad conservation. Her many interests and generous nature led her to have close friends all over the world.

Carol Ann was especially passionate about her family.  She was preceded in death by her father, but will be deeply missed by those who survive her, especially her mother, sister, brother-in-law, niece, and nephew.

A memorial service honoring Carol Ann’s life will be held at 2:00 P.M., June 24, 2017 at St. Augustine’s Chapel on the campus of Vanderbilt University.

In lieu of flowers, Carol Ann asked that donations be made to the Nashville chapter of the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation by visiting www.cff.org, the Avielle Foundation by visiting aviellefoundation.org or the American Cancer Society by visiting www.cancer.org.

You can leave a condolence via the website at http://www.nashvillecremationcenter.com/carol-ann-bonner/






63 replies
  1. 1
    Daoud bin Daoud says:

    🙁

  2. 2
    rikyrah says:

    Thanks so much for this 😥😥😥

  3. 3
    Bostondreams says:

    A sad, but sweet, post. Deepest condolences to her family and friends. :(

  4. 4
    HeleninEire says:

    RIP Carol Ann.

  5. 5
    zhena gogolia says:

    It was an honor to know her via BJ.

  6. 6
    zhena gogolia says:

    And thank you, Alain.

  7. 7
    MazeDancer says:

    What a lovely obituary. Thank you, Alain, for bringing it to us all.

  8. 8
    Betty Cracker says:

    Rest in peace, Carol Ann. It was our privilege to be your virtual neighbor.

  9. 9
    Alain the site fixer says:

    @Betty Cracker: I was about to email you in case you weren’t around. I’ve scheduled the memorial post for Friday at noon. That’s when I hope you and others will provide links to threads that you feel should be part of the extract.

  10. 10
    chopper says:

    how I wish you were here, gng.

  11. 11
    satby says:

    A generous and graceful soul, with a generous family. Rest in peace Carol Ann, and thanks for being our collective friend.

    Alain, I can’t seem to find it now, but I’m pretty sure one of the Sunday garden chats highlighted greennotGreen’s garden. It would be nice to find that one.

  12. 12
    Quinerly says:

    Thank you for posting this. Beautiful obit. We need to make sure Elizabelle sees this.

  13. 13
    Alain the site fixer says:

    @satby: Thanks for the tip!

  14. 14
    Laura says:

    Thank you for this Alain.
    Carol Ann was a lovely woman and it will be an honor to direct contributions to her chosen charities in remeberance.

    I will remember her for the kindness that imbued her thoughtful comments.

  15. 15
    Ruckus says:

    RIP Carol Ann.
    A life well lived is a thing of beauty.
    We are lucky that you shared it with us.

  16. 16
    Alain the site fixer says:

    @Quinerly: I emailed her.

  17. 17
    O. Felix Culpa says:

    Thank you, Alain. gnG is dearly missed. Her obituary provides confirming details about what a good person she was.

  18. 18
    sharl says:

    RIP Carol Ann. In both spirit and deed, the generosity you and your family showed under the most difficult of circumstances was most appreciated, and will be remembered fondly and with great respect.

  19. 19
    Alain the site fixer says:

    Don’t forget Friday’s post at noon! And with that, back to work for me.

  20. 20
    hovercraft says:

    Once again thank you to Terry and your wonderful family for taking the time to provide us with this beautiful obituary. We are all better for having greennotGreen’s commentary in better times, and for having shared her thoughts during her final journey. May we all be as fortunate as she was, to be surrounded by a loving family at the end of our journeys, she was truly blessed.

    Rest in Peace Carol Ann.

  21. 21
    Quinerly says:

    @Alain the site fixer:
    Great! You are such a kind man, my friend! Yes, I feel like you are OUR friend. So thoughtful! Have a great day.

  22. 22
    Nicole says:

    Gorgeous obituary. A good soul, and very obviously beloved by her family and friends. Grief is the price we pay for love. In the end, I think it’s more than a fair deal- the grief fades, but the love doesn’t. I look forward to reading Friday’s thread.

  23. 23
    feebog says:

    Thanks so much for posting Alain. Looking forward to the Friday post.

  24. 24

    In pace requiescat.

  25. 25
    the Conster, la Citoyenne says:

    Thanks Alain for your efforts to bring us all to closure on this. It strikes me so exceedingly odd but touching how us jackals can share all of our daily thoughts, frustrations and accomplishments here on BJ, and apparently now thanks to Carol Ann who showed us how to do it we can share our passing. She really did give us a gift of grace and dignity, which is in such short supply. It also feels like for someone who cares deeply about their country as we do, she picked a good time to depart. Plus, there’s a helluva eternal greatest hits rock concert waiting.

  26. 26
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    RIP Carol Ann. Hugs to family.

    And, yet again, someone genuinely good leaves us, and Dick Cheney still is animated. TANJ.

  27. 27
    TaMara (HFG) says:

    I have no words, except thank you Alain for being so kind and thoughtful. Thanks to Gng for being an irreplaceable part of our community and to her family for taking the time to share with us at this difficult time.

  28. 28
    TaMara (HFG) says:

    Plus, there’s a helluva eternal greatest hits rock concert waiting.

    @the Conster, la Citoyenne: Thanks, that made me smile. Much needed today.

  29. 29
    The Moar You Know says:

    Fucking cancer. Lost my grandmother to ovarian cancer a long time ago, 1986.

    RIP. You were one of our most decent commentors here in this lovely community.

  30. 30
    mai naem mobile says:

    Gawd,66 is too young. RI Carol Ann.

  31. 31
    MomSense says:

    We miss you, Carol Ann. Love to the family and to her beloved fur babies and birds. Hope all the precious members of her family find peace and feel supported by happy memories.

  32. 32
    Amir Khalid says:

    How does a blog like this attract so many good and wonderful people? It’s sad that greennotGreen is not with us in this virtual community anymore, but I’m moved that she was so dear to so many who never met her in person. I look forward to that celebration of her this Friday (it will be on the stroke of Saturday for me).

  33. 33
    matryoshka says:

    I rarely comment but have to say that I always was relieved to see gnG’s soothing presence and sensibility here. We too often forget how much of an impact kindness and goodness can have.

  34. 34
    Le Comte de Monte Cristo fka Edmund Dantes says:

    +Memory Eternal+

    She was always a pleasant soul, whose contributions are missed.

  35. 35
    Mnemosyne says:

    Thank you, Alain! I’ve been holding back on making my memorial donation until we had a name to attach to it so her family would know it was specifically in her memory. She is very much missed around here.

  36. 36
    eclare says:

    Thank you, Alain.

  37. 37
    tobie says:

    Thank you, Alain, for reaching out to the family, posting the obituary and above all for arranging for a meaningful tribute on Friday. You’ve done a great service to the BJ community and greennotGreen’s family.

  38. 38
    MomSense says:

    @the Conster, la Citoyenne:

    And she loved classical music so I’m thinking she and Mozart are sitting on a piano bench playing music and pointing and mocking. You know he would be a jackal – probably the late night threads though.

  39. 39
    JPL says:

    Alain, After the Sandy Hook massacre, she spoke about her connection to the family who lost their child. I don’t know if you want to research that time frame, but it showed what great compassion, she had.
    rip Carol Ann

  40. 40
    Emma says:

    She helped me a great deal by making her passing so open. I am at the tail end of a post -surgical five year protocol for breast cancer. The meds make me hurt all the time, and then they throw in nausea and headaches for good measure. One day I was at the end of my tether and ready to crawl into a black hole, when I came across one of her comments. It gave me such an amazing lift (which must sound insane). Her grace and strength kicked me out of bed and back into my life.

  41. 41
    MomSense says:

    @Emma:

    {{{{{{{{{{{Emma}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

  42. 42
    Seanly says:

    I usually bleep myself, but FUCK CANCER. With a rusty pitchfork.

    That said, the nurses, doctors, and other medical professionals at Vanderbilt are top notch staff. My wife would be dead from pneumonia if not for the MICU staff as well as her hematology/oncology team from the Vanderbilt-Ingram Cancer Center.

  43. 43
    raven says:

    @Emma: My former boss is where you are except that it has moved into her brain. She got some infection so they had to stop chemo for abut three weeks. I went to see her when she was in a really low place but now she seems to have gotten better. My brother-in-law has stage IV Esophageal cancer and has gone into (is that correct?) hospice. I don’t know if it’s just being older that we see so much of it or if the number of people with cancer has increased?

  44. 44
    the Conster, la Citoyenne says:

    @MomSense:

    I just keep imagining David Bowie involved with them all somehow. There’s a starman waiting in the sky, indeed.

  45. 45
    JPL says:

    @Emma: You, also show great strength in sharing. Amir @32 posted this

    How does a blog like this attract so many good and wonderful people?

    I don’t know the answer, but we were lucky that gng found it. I hope that you are feeling better soon.

  46. 46
    Quinerly says:

    @Emma:
    Hugs to you.

  47. 47
    NeenerNeener says:

    @raven: One of my sisters is married to a mortician. She said although not everyone dies of cancer, everyone will die with cancer if they live past 50 or so.

  48. 48
    Ben Cisco says:

    RIP Carol Ann. Your grace and strength continue to astound me.

  49. 49
    Cermet says:

    Again, so very sorry. She was far too young. Best wishes to her family and all her friends (including those here.)

  50. 50
    Cermet says:

    @raven: So sorry to here this – yes, we older people see far more (as one expects in a society with good medical care and vaccinations.)

  51. 51
    Mel says:

    @Emma: Sending hugs to you. Chemo and its side and after effects – so, so damned hard to endure, in so many different ways. I am so very sorry that you are going through this.

  52. 52
    ruckus says:

    @mai naem mobile:
    Lost my sister, and my best friend – who was my sister’s lover, a good friend I worked with for over a decade and a HS friend, all but my sister within 3 months, and all of whom were 66. And now an internet friend. That’s 5 way to early. Explains some of my rather apparent bad mood.

  53. 53
    ruckus says:

    @Emma:
    Good to hear!
    Do the best you can for as long as you can, that’s all that matters. Carol did, and if she can motivate others to do the same, that would make her a saint.

  54. 54
    ruckus says:

    @raven:
    More people make it longer now, so they now get a chance to develop cancer.

  55. 55
    Brachiator says:

    Thanks for posting this. Very touching.

  56. 56
    Emma says:

    To all of you who’ve sent best wishes, thank you. I will say that I feel a bit of a fraud — I have no genetic markers for cancer, it was caught early, and the cells were encysted inside a benign lump. I was in little danger of spread. I had what is referred to as “estrogen positive cancer,” meaning I had way too much estrogen in my body after early menopause and Jeebus is that not really a good thing. Estrogen without a real job is a bull in a china shop. This is my second go-around. The first time it was radiation (5 months, Monday through Friday). This time is a combination of pills (Femara for three years, Tamoxifen for two). Completing the protocol means I have a 95% chance of never having cancer again (though the odd unrelated one could pop up). The thing is, the pills are different mechanisms for blocking estrogen from reaching your cells, and the list of side-effects resemble War and Peace. Again I’m lucky — I have days where the body doesn’t hurt too much, and when I wake up without wanting to throw up. But it is exhausting, both physically and mentally, to have to live your life around pain.

    Still, only 8 months to go.

  57. 57
    Mel says:

    @Emma: It takes real courage and immense stength to keep on going through a lengthy chemo or immune suppressant regimen, esp. on the days when the side effects seem almost as bad as the symptoms of the illness.

    You are brave, you are strong, and just by being you, on good days and on bad, you are an inspiration to others of us fighting health battles.

    Keep shining your light. We’ve got your back.

  58. 58
    p.a. says:

    RIP gnG

    Fuck cancer
    Fuck people who are in the process of removing people from medical insurance.

  59. 59
    WVm says:

    @raven:

    Sorry to hear about your B-i-L. My oldest cousin Lou died with esophageal cancer, was comfortable when my local cousin and I drove up to visit with him. He told us that he didn’t regret anything he had done (surrounded by great-grand-children at age 60) but regretted the things he had not done.

    Driving back in the rainy evening I thought about that, and decided to retire the minute I became eligible. I’ve done several things since then that I won’t regret not having done. I liked my job and career, but not nearly enough to give up doing the things I wanted to do.

  60. 60
    debbie says:

    @Emma:

    You, gng, and others have the kind of strength I would never have. Here’s hoping for pain-free days ahead.

  61. 61
    villiageidiocy says:

    Just yesterday I was wondering if I knew anyone here, you know, anonymously – turns out I did know Carol Ann through the plant world. I only met her a few times and have only good memories of our interactions. She was a wonderful grower. Such a sad loss, and I’m glad to hear she had those she loved around her to the end. I’m going to go back and look for the pictures of her room to check out her plants, and contemplate.

  62. 62
    NotoriousJRT says:

    @Emma:
    Emma, sending all the warmth and comfort I have out into the universe for you. You seem very grave to me.

  63. 63
    Felanius Kootea says:

    Rest in peace Carol Ann.

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