The Part of James Comey will be Played by a Pizza- A Balloon Juice Explainer

Cryin' Chuck Schumer stated recently, "I do not have confidence in him (James Comey) any longer." Then acts so indignant. #draintheswamp

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 10, 2017

To help the idiots on the right who have chosen to take up Dolt 45’s vapid defense of his firing of Comey by stating “Herp derp Dems said that Comey lacked integrity/they had no confidence in him/he should be fired, but now Trump fired him and they have a sad still,” I have created a fictional play. In this one part play, I will represent the Democrats, Donald Trump will be Donald Trump, and the part of James Comey will be played by a pizza.

SCENE: A small pizza shop, with John Cole and Donald Trump sitting at a table together, a sad pizza in between the two of them.

John Cole: This pizza tastes funny, smells funny, and I’m not sure what is going on with it and it might be bad for your stomach, Donald.

Donald Trump: *Grabs pizza, shakes it violently, yells “FUCK YOU PIZZA,” pulls down his pants and wipes his ass with pizza, pretends to hump pizza, throws a slice at the wall, drops pizza on floor, jumps on it, squats over pizza box and shits on it, wipes feces on his face like war paint, and sits down at the table.*

John Cole: What the fuck did you just do that for?!?

Donald Trump: Wait a minute here, buddy. You just told me that pizza tasted funny.

And scene.

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