The Part of James Comey will be Played by a Pizza- A Balloon Juice Explainer

To help the idiots on the right who have chosen to take up Dolt 45’s vapid defense of his firing of Comey by stating “Herp derp Dems said that Comey lacked integrity/they had no confidence in him/he should be fired, but now Trump fired him and they have a sad still,” I have created a fictional play. In this one part play, I will represent the Democrats, Donald Trump will be Donald Trump, and the part of James Comey will be played by a pizza.

SCENE: A small pizza shop, with John Cole and Donald Trump sitting at a table together, a sad pizza in between the two of them.

John Cole: This pizza tastes funny, smells funny, and I’m not sure what is going on with it and it might be bad for your stomach, Donald.

Donald Trump: *Grabs pizza, shakes it violently, yells “FUCK YOU PIZZA,” pulls down his pants and wipes his ass with pizza, pretends to hump pizza, throws a slice at the wall, drops pizza on floor, jumps on it, squats over pizza box and shits on it, wipes feces on his face like war paint, and sits down at the table.*

John Cole: What the fuck did you just do that for?!?

Donald Trump: Wait a minute here, buddy. You just told me that pizza tasted funny.

And scene.

86 replies
  1. 1
    Eljai says:

    Succinct and to the point. Damn, I wish someone would hire you on cable news.

  2. 2
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    I like it. I especially liked the cameo by the pepperoni.

  3. 3
    psycholinguist says:

    Can’t Trump be the pizza?

  4. 4
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    OK, followup play: Barack Obama warns Donald that the pizza (Michael Flynn) is not on the level. Donald takes a big bite out of it, and winds up with food poisoning, claims that he thought Obama was pulling his leg.

  5. 5
    George Spiggott says:

    How about a scene with Father Guido Sarducci hosting a contest to find the Putin in the pizza?

  6. 6
    shortribs says:

    Posts like this are what keep me coming to BJ. Also a fan of all the other front pagers and commenters of course.

  7. 7
    George Spiggott says:

    What kind of pizza? Tire rim or anthrax?

  8. 8
    amk says:

    @psycholinguist: exactly my thought.

  9. 9
    Betty Cracker says:

    Ha! Yeah, pretty much.

    PS: I know I should have stopped being shocked by this months ago, but it still strikes me as surreal that the POTUS refers to the leader of the opposition party in the US Senate as “Cryin’ Chuck” in public communications. High school student council presidents would find that beneath the dignity of their offices. But not this motherfucker, who can’t choke on an overcooked, ketchup-smeared NY strip steak soon enough to suit me.

  10. 10
    amk says:

    @Betty Cracker: Petty & childish namecalling is the rightwingers’ thing it seems. Our PM and his party have brute majority (thanks, stupid voters) and yet he & his minions resort to such childish acts all the time. Guess it’s their insecurity.

  11. 11
    piratedan says:

    JC omitted the part where Trump walks out leaving him to pay the bill and the owner of the shop, the GOP, hands him a rag and tells him to clean up the mess or else they’ll call the cops.

  12. 12
    Zach says:

    Two points I haven’t seen made re: the Rosenstein memo:

    1) From the POV of Hannity watchers, Comey’s announcements unfairly helped HRC by tainting future prosecution and prematurely announcing innocence. 90% of the memo is consistent with this critique OR that it was unfair to HRC.

    2) This reasoning is BS but it’s very convenient for Trump. It resets the precedent that Comey set with Clinton. FBI will make no announcements about on-going cases with political ramifications… so for example something like Comey’s testimony last month will not happen again (new director will refuse to testify unless subpoena and, if forced, will say “I can’t comment on the existence or non-existence of any incomplete investigation or any completed investigation that hasn’t led to prosecution.” Good deal for Trump.

  13. 13
    Gretchen says:

    Thanks. I needed that laugh.

  14. 14
    piratedan says:

    @Zach: well per the Faux News guys, their round-table was all about how this paves the way for them to finally bring justice to the country regarding Hillary’s illegal acts. So, I know that I am looking forward to another six months of Benghazi theatre….

    I fully expect them to brazen it out with their alternate reality until they break down the sets while broadcasting…

  15. 15
    Zach says:

    @piratedan: yup. Exactly. Trump’s new FBI director will be selected to turn up the heat on “lock her up” … unless Democrats stop complaining about the Russia investigations.

    Or at least that’s the plan and it’s consistent with what Trump thinks works… make the consequence of “doing the right thing” be shitty for everyone and hope folks take the path of least resistance. That works when you can walk away from the asshole (in business). Can’t walk away from the President. Trump will learn being a jerk no one wants to work with isn’t great leverage in his new gig.

  16. 16
    ed says:

    Isnt it supposed to be “End Scene”?

  17. 17
    Elizabelle says:

    Does the new FBI Director require 60 votes? If so, we have a lot of leverage. No new Director until a full independent investigation is up and running and full throttle. On Russia ties and on Russian (and other) interference in our elections.

    Drinking morning coffee in Barcelona. I wake up hopeful. I think this is the beginning of the end for Trump. It’s also where we get to see just how damaged and compromised our institutions are — Kay’s been talking about that for a while — and which hold and do their jobs. But we are woke, and watching, and I am not with all you nervous Nellies who forecast gloom and doom for us.

    Trump is an illegitimate president. He always has been. And the Republican base is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. Mean motherfuckers, and ignorant. They’ve been cultivated and misinformed by Fox News and rightwing media (ETA: and the rightwing churches) for maybe 2 generations now. Our mainstream media is too often complicit too. Cable news 24/7 is not in the best interests of the country, as practiced now.

    We are stronger than all of that, and we have to be. We have to resist and resist and resist and get these assholes — who allegedly work for us, public servants — to do their jobs.

    Would you rather wake up this morning as one of us, or as a GOP politico or hanger-on?

  18. 18
    Chet Murthy says:

    @Elizabelle: Uh, I believe the nuclear option from 2013 removed the need for 60-vote cloture for all executive and judicial branch nominees (except supreme court). If that’s the case, all that’s left is for Dems to gum up the works as best they can. That is, unless some 3 Senators stand up for the country. *cough* not holding my breath. But wonder what Schumer has in store for tomorrow morning.

  19. 19
    jon says:

    @George Spiggott: Is the glass crushed or ground?

  20. 20
    Betty Cracker says:

    @Elizabelle: I read somewhere that the White House was taken aback by the reaction to the firing, that they didn’t think it would be that big a deal since pretty much everyone hates that son of a bitch Comey. Can that possibly be true? Can they be that dumb? Yeah, probably.

    My net connection shit the bed yesterday, so I’ve mostly been following developments here and on Twitter, but I am somewhat heartened by the renewed calls for an independent investigation into Trump-Russia. That’s the only hope of getting to the bottom of it, IMO. The FBI and DOJ are obviously compromised. Perjurer Sessions recused himself from the Russia investigation and then called for the firing of the guy leading it. Un-fucking-real.

  21. 21
    Elizabelle says:

    @Betty Cracker: This is where the people are more important, and have a bigger voice, than the career politicos, particularly the heinous Republicans. We need to step up, and we will.

    The Eeyore types here sicken me. We’re not doomed. We don’t need to be. This horrible man has never been a legitimate president, and he is not the president we deserve. We’re going to sit around and watch ourselves get crushed? Uh, no.

  22. 22
    Elizabelle says:

    I want a big conflagration that takes out the Republican leadership and damages the worst of complicit media.

    We need a reset out of this.

  23. 23
    Elizabelle says:

    Ah, Betty, I just realized the time you’re commenting. Moar storms? Or just insomnia or an unquiet mind? Tipping my coffee mug to you.

  24. 24
    Eljai says:

    @Elizabelle: I agree, we’re not doomed. Definitely not taking anything for granted, but I feel like there’s a shift in energy that’s working for our side and we need to seize it. Also, I appreciate the opportunity to sip coffee in Barcelona vicariously!

  25. 25
    gene108 says:


    I’d rather be in Republican’s position. It is much better to have a job, which you know is solid until November 2018 versus being unemployed and trying to get hired.

    There’s a lot of noise, but until Democrats start winning elections, Republicans are still calling the shots.

    And making deeply Republican districts competitive isn’t good enough. It is nerve racking for Republicans that they won’t get an easy win, but a tough win is still a win. Plus Republicans still have Fox News, the rest of the right-wing media, Koch brother and Mercer money, etc. backing them up, no matter what, which really helps insulate them from having their voters getting a clue and allows them to bullshit their way through own nastiness.

  26. 26
    David 🍁Canadian Anchor Baby🍁 Koch says:

    I love how the media is now saying Comey should have been fired for breaking protocol last July.

    For the past 10 months the media has been lionizing Comey for breaking protocol. Just last week they were defending his actions when Clinton assigned partial culpability to his act.

    Now that GOP says it’s okay to fire Comey they’re dumping on him saying he was wrong.


  27. 27
    Elizabelle says:

    @gene108: I wouldn’t. They might be employed on the public dime, but they have no moral authority. That’s important.

    It’s so hard to get past the rightwing noise machine and cynicism. But we cannot not do it.

    My tax reform: tax the Kochs and Mercers and Silicon Valley and Big Oil and Big Pharma and all the megawealthy like the motherfuckers they are. If they scream and want to leave the country, let them. And make them stay gone. We cannot afford to have all this money propping up rightwing media, essentially buying up all the printing presses, and radicalizing our fellow citizens. As a democracy, we cannot stand this. They’re poisoning the common good; the selfishness you hear about healthcare, etc. is appalling. We can be better than this, but we can’t while these miscreants are distorting the process so badly.

    There are more of us.

  28. 28
    trnc says:

    Donald Trump: *Grabs pizza, shakes it violently, yells “FUCK YOU PIZZA,” pulls down his pants and wipes his ass with pizza, pretends to hump pizza, throws a slice at the wall, drops pizza on floor, jumps on it, squats over pizza box and shits on it, wipes feces on his face like war paint, and sits down at the table.*

    Movie obviously to be directed by John Waters, but the question is whether Divine will play the president or the pizza.

  29. 29
    Betty Cracker says:

    @Elizabelle: Just woke up for no particular reason! Oh well. It’s nice to get a jump on the workday when no one else is awake to interrupt me. :)

    I’m with you on impatience with Eeyores and hope for a reset. The Eeyores may be proven right, and we might not get a reset. But we’re not passive spectators here. We have agency. I intend to use mine.

  30. 30
    trnc says:


    They might be employed on the public dime, but they have no moral authority.

    Not arguing that we need to fight, but the republicans haven’t had any moral authority for years and they still managed to steal an SC Justice slot (not to mention get DT elected, which speaks for itself). More federal judges to be appointed by DT are on the way, courtesy of republicans with no moral authority who blocked nominations by Obama, and republicans with no moral authority will continue to win a house majority through gerrymandering and suppression of voting rights. Republicans with no moral authority will almost certainly get a health care bill passed that will increase the ranks of the uninsured and reduce care options for people with insurance. If, by some chance, republicans with no moral authority actually impeach DT (extremely unlikely), the vice president with no moral authority will move into the top spot and continue the policies of DT while being given a honeymoon by the media like we’ve never seen before.

    Other than that, I like our chances.

  31. 31
    Elizabelle says:

    @trnc: Well, let’s just shoot our fucking heads off, shall we?

    I’ll go do something else. I’m in a gorgeous city and I have better things to do than hang out with pantswetters.

  32. 32
    trnc says:

    @Elizabelle: @Elizabelle:

    Happy to be wrong. Sorry I’ve upset you.

  33. 33
    Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes says:

    OK , so here’s the thing about his desktop electoral college map. For a 70 year old guy, it is to inform him on who he is to reward and who to neglect, if not punish.

    He’s that vindictive, which is alarming. I also wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t have one of those county by county maps too, for the same, more precise purpose.

  34. 34
    Elizabelle says:

    @trnc: No, you didn’t. And I’d be happy for you to be wrong too. ;-)

    But: if people weren’t paying attention before, they are now. The healthcare horror passing the House shocked and depressed people, but may also embolden them. There is a lot to lose.

    And it’s fashionable to complain about and laugh at Trump. It will only become more so. With the marches: my friends who never followed politics turned out to march, with their daughters, and are newly enthused.

    SO: no thinking we can’t change things. Will admit, the Republicans have salted the fields but good, but we can turn that around, harder as it will be.

  35. 35
    gene108 says:


    They might be employed on the public dime, but they have no moral authority

    There enough people, who will confer moral authority on anyone who opposes abortion, and same sex marriage that the rest of what they do is immaterial.

    Republicans are immoral rat-bastards to you and me, but there stances on a few issues, like gun control, abortion, etc. gives them moral authority in the eyes of enough voters to make the rest of our lives difficult.

    Basically, morals are sometimes relative to your own point of view.

  36. 36
    Elizabelle says:

    @gene108: That they have to cheat and lie and steal and be funded by big thinktanks embracing selfishness, funded by plutocrats, tells me as much as I wanna know about “moral authority.”

    Not to mention the megachurches that you wish Jesus would come back and smite. They kinda missed his message, a great many of them. Tax the churches too. Separation of church and state.

    I think it’s when times are bad that you have your teachable moment, and an explanation of why the customs, norms and policies that protected us in the past were enacted.

  37. 37
    trnc says:

    @Elizabelle: All excellent points.

    Nevertheless, she persisted.

    My hat off to you.

  38. 38
    rikyrah says:

    @Betty Cracker:
    Don’t believe that bullshyt, BC

  39. 39
    trnc says:

    @Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes: Yeah, but who could possibly make him actually understand it? He looks at the red Montana and concludes that it counts for way more than NY based strictly on land area.

  40. 40
    trnc says:

    @Elizabelle: Of course, moral authority doesn’t get people elected – a shitty electoral system does, as well as tortured House district maps.

    I think it’s when times are bad that you have your teachable moment, and an explanation of why the customs, norms and policies that protected us in the past were enacted.

    This is the area where I would really like to see some gains. I don’t expect all Dem candidates to be perfect, but they need to spend more time explaining that govt has been a force for good, and that we won WWII and put a man on the moon while we had extremely high marginal income tax rates.

  41. 41
    trnc says:

    Would love to keep this convo going, but my battery is about to die.


  42. 42
    bemused says:

    Adam had good advice in previous thread. Call our Reps and Senators. Tell them we absolutely must have special prosecutor with no ties to present mess, no business done other than keep gov’t running. It will be interesting to see if that’s what Shumer has in mind with calling all Dems on deck in morning meeting.

    I can’t sleep with this even more rotten hell breaking out and having a hard time staying focused getting packing and everything else done before going on a trip out of town. Seeing grandkids will be the best anxiety therapy.

    Our country will climb out of this. We have to. I don’t want our kids and grandkids living in a Trump/GOP nightmare.

  43. 43
    Elizabelle says:

    @trnc: Energize up! Catch you (and the battery) later.

  44. 44
    amk says:

    @trnc: Yup, them is the reality. The rethugs have worked assiduously for political power for decades by valuing their votes. Unlike the lazy ass / pouting / outraged dems.

  45. 45
    Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes says:


    .Our country will climb out of this. We have to. I don’t want our kids and grandkids living in a Trump/GOP nightmare.

    We won’t. Our white suburban/exurban/rural demographic (particularly those in the Rust Belt, Appalachia and South) is an evil cultural bomb which votes nihilist destruction out of ingrained and acculturated racism. Their toxic religiousity excuses their excesses and promises succor for victims in the hereafter, they’ve been propagandized for their lifetimes with powerful images associated with divinity that their ancestors alone built this society and that they constitute the “true heartland”.

    We are well and truly fucked – Nixon’s party wasn’t running Congress when he got forced out. This model isn’t quite Hitlerian (looks more like Pinochet, Franco or one of the Banana Republics), but given a couple of terror events, it could become quasi-Hitlerian. VERY difficult to dislodge once it is in place, and it would take decades of sustained brushfire violence against mainstream rightists to accomplish.

    Thank you Bernie and Jill Stein. The irony is so palpable you could cut it with a knife.

  46. 46
    Elizabelle says:

    @Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes: I am going to hope that you are wrong, too.

    Toxic white male masculinity (NOTE: some, not all, white males). We will have to get past this.

    Besides, dude, you live in Kentucky. Which used to send Democrats to Congress, and could again. But you’re in BevinLand. I do not wonder that you prefer to travel and engage with the world subaquatic.

  47. 47
    Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes says:


    This city is a good one, but the legislature has been working overtime to strip it’s self governing powers in favor of a state-led suburban/exurban autocracy.

    The Mayberry Machiavellis are strangling the golden goose and yanking out the entrails, by way of analogy, and don’t give a shit about the financial harm they wreak upon themselves; they’re content to live in filth so long as they can make Those People’s lives worse.

    For the hat trick, they’re going to try and Austinize Louisville for the purpose of redistricting. Run the districts from the Ohio River to the Tennessee border, for “balance”.

  48. 48
    Betty Cracker says:

    @rikyrah: What’s bullshit — that the White House staff were surprised at the firestorm Comey’s firing ignited? I find it plausible. They are supremely arrogant motherfuckers, and not nearly as smart as they think they are.

  49. 49

    News reports out of San Clemente, California, site of the Nixon library, say that there has been a slight “seismic incident” at the grave site of the late president and a voice heard to say “Look what happened when I pulled that crap.”

  50. 50
    Elizabelle says:

    @Mustang Bobby: LOL. Nixon was a patriot**, and loved his family in a way that Trump does not. How far the Republican party has fallen. Ike and Teddy Roosevelt and Taft and everybody else: appalled.

    ETA: ** by this, I mean served his country, and respected the middle class. The sliming of Helen Gahagan Douglas: not patriotic and undeniably another facet of Nixon’s character.

    I am not a Nixon apologiste, but he’s a good reference for how far the GOP has fallen. In many, many ways.

  51. 51
    Kay says:

    I’m shocked they did this. I thought Comey should have resigned after the election but firing the prosecutor who is investigating your administration is really a bridge too far. Resigning was key. It had to come from Comey.

    I’m not shocked they did it in such a nasty, sleazy way. They’re horrible people. They do everything in the worst possible way: most mean-spirited and humiliating firing possible.

    I can’t believe people admire Trump. He has no redeeming qualities of any kind. Even his “bold moves” are sleazy and underhanded and essentially cowardly.

    If Democrats are smart they’ll focus on corruption. That theme scares the shit out of Team Trump. It’s the only thing they really react to. They freak out and overplay their hand every time it’s raised. That’s the vulnerability. They don’t care about policy but they care if they are seen as corrupt.

  52. 52
    bemused says:

    @Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes:

    I can feel we are truly fucked and still think we will climb back to rational governing eventually. Maybe I won’t be around to see it being an oldie but hoping for some light at the end of the tunnel. I can’t succumb to total despair.

  53. 53
    Sanjeevs says:

    Couple of intersecting things on Maddow last night.
    1 Maddow brought up the point that not only did Sessions recuse himself from Trump campaign but also publically from Clinton emails issues. So why is he recommending firing Comey on emails issue
    2 Sen Whitehouse was on. He seemed to agree with Rosensteins letter on why Comey had acted improperly. Which is fair enough , but why would Whitehouse think any nominee of Trump would be any better. I couldn’t understand why he is making that argument now.

  54. 54
    Kay says:

    @Betty Cracker:

    I think it’s so funny that they were relying on Democrats being so stupid. “We criticized Comey, did we not? Hmmm. How to explain this nuance?”

    They’re not real attentive observers of Chuck Schumer if they thought that was an issue :)

  55. 55
    satby says:

    @Elizabelle: I’m seeing tax the church memes all over FB, from a wide range of people. That’s promising. It’s still a long way off, but it’s coming.

  56. 56
    Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes says:


    I’m picturing a Balkanized set of fiefdoms with some semblance of order and rational governance in some “too large to digest” enclaves in the Northeast (NYC, Boston) and the immediate vicinities of Chicago, Miami, Atlanta. I envision Canadians in Detroit, an independent West Coast, independent Hawaii.

    At least, so long as nuclear war doesn’t commence.

  57. 57
    Elizabelle says:

    @Kay: Corruptiongate. Added bonus: gets us to look at campaign financing again, and Citizens United, and that whole can of worms.

    Trump didn’t even tell Comey “you’re fired.” He’s a slimeball coward.

    Mother Jones, re FTFNYTimes reporting. Report: Comey Thought His Firing Was a Prank and Laughed It Off

    Of all the astounding details pouring out tonight about President Donald Trump’s sudden firing of FBI Director James Comey, this bit will surely make your jaw drop.

    According to the New York Times’s Michael S. Schmidt, Comey was giving a speech to his FBI team in Los Angeles when he saw the news about his firing break on televisions in the room. He hadn’t been informed yet, and at first thought he it was a joke:

    In response, Mr. Comey laughed, saying he thought it was a fairly funny prank.

    Then his staff started scurrying around in the background and told Mr. Comey that he should step into a nearby office.

    Mr. Comey stopped addressing the group. He proceeded to shake hands with the employees he had been speaking to. Then he stepped into a side office, where he confirmed that he had been fired. At that point, he had not heard from the White House.

    Stay classy, Donald.

  58. 58
    Elizabelle says:

    @satby: It has to. Separation of Church and State. You can respect and protect religion, but it does not belong in your politics.

    Religion, like patriotism, is one of the last refuges of scoundrels.

  59. 59
    Kay says:

    Maybe this is naive and giving “higher levels of government” too much credit but the smallness of Team Trump continues to amaze me. They do things you see at the county level. The scary part for me is always “these are the people at the top of the chain

    There’s no where to appeal.

    When you see local corruption or craziness you think “well, there is oversight and if it gets too bad state or feds will step in”. They ARE the feds. Terrifying.

    Right after Trump was elected one of my sisters was saying “it’s up to us”, meaning “regular people” and I think she was right. She’s usually right, is the thing. She says the blunt thing no one else will say in bad situations and is often right.

  60. 60
    Betty Cracker says:

    @Kay: It also amazes me that anyone actually admires Trump. I can follow the logic by which they’d cheer him on in his attacks on people they consider enemies, e.g., non-whites, women, immigrants, etc. But admiring Trump himself? That I’ll never understand. He’s repellent in every conceivable way. It’s like insisting that dog shit smells like bacon.

  61. 61
    Kay says:


    Stay classy, Donald.

    Yeah. They’re bad people. That’s what I won’t forgive Trump voters for. Putting aside economic class and education Team Trump are horrible people. Voters should have seen that. They lack ordinary ethical and character attributes. The drive to humiliate people publicly is fucking bizarre. I guess the assumption is people will be cowed and frightened by witnessing the horrible treatment but that’s not true of people across the board. It will also inspire a lot of people to resist.

  62. 62
    Kay says:

    @Betty Cracker:

    When this started I thought “they see him as a fighter and assume he will fight for them” but he doesn’t fight for them. He folds on everything they care about. He “fights” Hillary Clinton. She has nothing to do with anything.

    He fights for himself. Always and in everything. This Presidency is literally all about him. I think on some level they get that. They complain that he tweets too much, creates too much churn around himself, talks too much, is too often in the news. It’s the Donald Trump Show.

  63. 63
    Betty Cracker says:

    @Kay: Speaking of their drive to humiliate people, K. Conway and Trump’s social media director (whose name escapes me at the moment) were on Twitter yesterday crowing about plans to release a video of Clinton’s concession call to mark the six month anniversary of the election. I mean, who the fuck does that kind of shit?

    There’s not an ounce of grace, humility or class in that bunch. Like you said, it’s about intimidation, but it also inspires resistance. I’m personally horrified to be associated with people of that caliber; even my remote connection to them as a citizen of this country embarrasses me. I’ll work my ass off to drive them out.

  64. 64
    Chet Murthy says:


    Right after Trump was elected one of my sisters was saying “it’s up to us”, meaning “regular people”

    Someone else on this blog once commented that J. K. Rowling’s work was relevant here. B/c the Harry Potter series is basically about how a people can resist a fascist, when the entire set of institutions — all the normal centers of poewr — are co-opted by that fascist (they said it much more elegantly). In short, it’s really “up to us” in the series, and yeah, you’re right — none of the institutions we were taught to regard as the safeguards of our democracy, are really standing up. Even the courts can’t put the guy and his rotting horde in jail now, can they. And all the rest? toothless, co-opted, or complicit.

    I don’t know how this ends. Guess all we can do is try.

  65. 65
    Kay says:

    I wonder if it goes back to the near-worship of rich people we do in this country. There’s so many unfounded assumptions that underlay that- that rich people are smarter and better and work harder. It’s a really old idea, that lower income people lack “character”. There’s a modern fake-science version of this theme now “grit”. Poor people lack “grit”. That idea is thousands of years old.

    Trump is “good” because he is “rich” – also “smart” and “hardworking” – it’s like no amount of evidence makes a dent in this belief. The flip side of that is of course that poor people are bad and that’s what they’re poor.

  66. 66
    bemused says:

    @Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes:

    Amen on the nuke thing.

    Right now I think there are more of us than the deplorable population and will not give up resisting all the isms and destructive agendas. The younger Americans have vastly different views than the older groups and I think those demographics will continue to trend that way. As Lindsay Graham said awhile ago there are not enough angry old white guys to sustain the GOP. It’s regular people who have to keep battering and battering at the GOP and the 1% money/power cabals. Going to be a long rough ride.

  67. 67
    Chet Murthy says:

    @Kay: Many people have noted that you can lay a lot of these attitudes at the feet of Calvinism. That the rich are rich precisely because they’re elect by God. Their riches are a sign of their being chosen. And of course, the opposite is true of the poor.

  68. 68
    Kay says:

    @Betty Cracker:

    I mean, who the fuck does that kind of shit?

    People who want to keep their base fired up and loyal. It was always a wholly negative “movement”, Trumpism. Those speeches were nasty because the basis of this “movement” is opposition.

    The Wall could be a monument to Donald Trump. He chose a fucking WALL as his symbol, the physical manifestation of his worldview. Not a highway or a bridge – A WALL. Wholly negative and mean-spirited. All other big presidential projects were about connecting- electrification, waterworks, highways, national health care. His is about cutting off- dividing.

  69. 69
    Elizabelle says:

    @Chet Murthy: Great comment. And we’ve got a young population that lived to read the Harry Potter books.

    Allons, Potter fans. To the barricades.

  70. 70
    Elizabelle says:

    @Kay: Yes! A wall, not a bridge. All about dividing.

    I wonder somewhat what Karl Rove thinks, watching this, his ideas brought to fruition and the ugliness out in the open. He may be unhappy the dog whistle is a siren.

    Burn them all down.

  71. 71
    Elizabelle says:

    @Kay: Glorification of the work ethic of the rich. Of their sterling character.

    You just hit one of David Brooks’ themes. You cannot parody that man.

  72. 72
    Kay says:

    @Chet Murthy:

    I get free magazines at the law office. I subscribe to People because my people love People! But I get bullshit magazines free for some reason. No one reads them. They’re like “Inc.” or “CEO” – words like that. They could be a genre ” a celebration of rich people we all admire” :)

  73. 73
    Kay says:


    It’s one of the many horrible themes that people import into public schools. Our school (wearily) adopted some of it because all this bullshit gets foisted off on them.

    “Grit”. It’s such an old idea! The Poors just need to develop character thru overcoming obstacles. I can’t believe they palm it off as “social science”. It’s practically the national religion.

  74. 74
    Betty Cracker says:

    @Kay: True. Back when I was still capable of being surprised by Trump’s divisiveness, I remember waiting for him to do that perfunctory thing every president does, which is reach out to the people who supported his opponent — to at least devote lip service to the idea that he sought the office to serve ALL of the people, not just the 27% or so who voted for him. Instead, we get those bizarre, hate-filled campaign rallies and nasty tweets. It’s disturbing on so many levels.

  75. 75
    Kay says:

    @Betty Cracker:

    How long can he beat up on Clinton, though? I don’t even think he can stretch it to cover the summer. The subpeonas are real. Whoever got one has to comply. There’s supposedly two sets. If they’re at that point they know at least what they need to ask. That’s a quarter of the way there.

  76. 76
    rikyrah says:

    @Betty Cracker:
    They don’t get why people are not folding. Why we don’t give him “respect”

  77. 77
    Betty Cracker says:

    @rikyrah: They do seem genuinely shocked by that, don’t they? I remember watching that horrid wretch Conway demanding respect for the shitgibbon during some interview and inanely adding, “hashtag, he’s your president.” A grown-ass woman actually said that on TV! I think this continued lack of deference has been a shock to the shitgibbon, at least, though veteran political operatives like Conway should have known better.

  78. 78
    Cheryl Rofer says:

    Thanks, John. A good laugh starts my day well.

  79. 79
    oldster says:

    I’m laughing, too. Great “explainer”. I think Vox better watch out.

  80. 80

    This is the greatest thing I have ever seen.

  81. 81
    quakerinabasement says:

    Why’d you cut the part at the end where Trump explains: “The Aristocrats?”

  82. 82
    John PM says:


  83. 83
    Jamey says:

    “Based on a real story.”

  84. 84
    Trentrunner says:

    @Betty Cracker: For the record: Schumer’s “cryin'” that Trump is making fun of was over Schumer’s ancestors dying in the Holocaust.

    What a baby!

  85. 85
    Ella in New Mexico says:


    The Eyeore types here sicken me. We’re not doomed. We don’t need to be. This horrible man has never been a legitimate president, and he is not the president we deserve. We’re going to sit around and watch ourselves get crushed? Uh, no.

    I want to believe, so forgive me my Eyeore Moments here.

    When I pull back and see what has happened in other countries that suddenly, overnight became corrupt, authoritarian regimes, I realize that it’s totally possible it happens here. The flaws in our system that have allowed things to happen in this country that have are glaring right now-checks and balances only work when there are truly honest people in positions of power. When one, clearly corrupt party hold all the keys, and are willing to enable criminal activity in the President and key decision makers to keep power, then we have few good options.

    Given their successful Gerrymandering of the states, their ongoing successful efforts to keep Democratic votes down, their willingness to cheat at every level I don’t see a clear path to getting them out of power right now.

    Given that a chunk of eligible voters in this country truly hate politics, are only remotely informed or interested in this stuff and probably won’t vote, I’m not sure there are enough of us to fight this.

    So I’m. It sure what we really can do right now, given how flawed our institutions and corrupt the Republicans are. We are up against an enemy that has been studying how to deconstruct our Democracy for a long, long time.

    We’re in deep fucking doo doo.

  86. 86
    Ryan says:

    Two questions.

    1) Is this a pizza shop with an underground sex dungeon?
    2) Were knives and forks used on the pizza?

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