ABC is in town, so we went shopping to buy curtains and rugs and all sorts of stuff to make my house beautiful. Unfortunately for all, no matter how charming and wonderful the company, I max out at about 4-5 hours of shopping, particularly when it is 900 fucking degrees in the store and there are people everywhere doing annoying human things. I may or may not have been overheard stating “If we don’t get out of this store soon I’m going to be on the fucking evening news.”
At any rate, as we were leaving, hauling umpteen bags, I kept myself focused on the exit, thinking “fifteen yards, twelve yards, ten yards” at which point I was accosted by some young naif peddling her goods. It went like this:
Her- “Would you like to buy some Girl…”
Me- “NO THANK YOU”
When I got outside and felt the rush of the cool air of freedom, a certain decent human being brought me back to reality and stated “You do realize I just had to apologize to a nine year old, don’t you.”
And that is how I ended up buying five boxes of girl scout cookies.
*** Update ***
For the record, the cookie count was three Samoa and two Thin Mints.