I Don’t Have to Outrun the Bull Alligator, I Just Have to Outrun You

This wee fellow was caught on video near Lakeland, FL yesterday.

That’s a big boy!






143 replies
  1. 1
    Yarrow says:

    When dinosaurs roamed the earth!

  2. 2
    greennotGreen says:

    Of course he walked “casually.” You think someone’s going to intimidate him?

  3. 3
    PeakVT says:

    Not hungry, or were the puny camera-wielding humans just not worth the effort?

  4. 4
    Jim says:

    It’s animatronic Disney, silly. Not a big deal.

  5. 5

    The Land Before Time?
    The Land That Time Forgot?

    Holeeeeeeeee sheeeeeyit. When that thing decides what’s on the menu, look the hell out.

  6. 6

    Reason No. 163,572 why Florida is, exclusively, a nice place to visit. That and no Wegmans.

  7. 7
    jonas says:

    Those aren’t tourists. Those are simply some folks that that gator has allowed to live right now because he has better things to do. You can tell that’s what he’s thinking as he crosses the path.

  8. 8
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Buffalo Rude: I miss Wegmans!

  9. 9
    ArchTeryx says:

    That big boy looks old, well-fed and generally chill. Reptiles, generally, are very big into energy conservation, but don’t let that easy gait fool you: When they hunt, they can move faster then you can blink your eye.

    And that fellow looks like an extra out of the old horror movie Alligator. I wouldn’t want him living in MY backyard.

  10. 10
    Chris says:

    Normal people: “HOLY SHIT, DINOSAUR.”
    Floridians: “Actually, that one’s kind of scrawny.”

  11. 11
    columbusqueen says:

    @jonas: No shit–that is one seriously scary beast. Look that tail, he could swing it & take you the hell out.

  12. 12
    Central Planning says:

    @ArchTeryx:

    When they hunt, they can move faster then you can blink your eye.

    Serpentine! Serpentine!

  13. 13
    amk says:

    shit, now cole is gonna wanna take him home.

  14. 14
    rikyrah says:

    Giyodamn😵😵😵😱😱😱😱😱

  15. 15
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @amk: True story: when I lived in PA, there was a gator walking along on the Turnpike in the suburbs of Philadelphia. Someone had one as a pet, it got to big, and they just let it loose.

  16. 16
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @rikyrah: Ayep

  17. 17
    hovercraft says:

    @Adam L Silverman:
    No need to miss it, just come back to civilization, and you can have Wegmans, Stew Leonards and real pizza ;-) The only gators we have up here are the ones in the sewers.

  18. 18
    zhena gogolia says:

    Git it to the Inauguration stat!

  19. 19
    hellslittlestangel says:

    Not a lot of people know that the TV show The Flintstones was filmed on location in Florida.

  20. 20
    Yarrow says:

    How old do they estimate this one is? That thing hanging down under its neck is just…wow.

  21. 21
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    I saw a lot of gators when I lived in Tampa, but never any as big and portly as that fellow. Yowza!

  22. 22
    Mike J says:

    I spent six months? A Year? Something far too long in Lackland. On the one hand I wrote some good code for some nifty custom hardware. On the other hand, I had to fly back and forth to DC every week.

  23. 23
    ArchTeryx says:

    @Yarrow: That dewlap/gular pouch is part of why I’d estimate the big boy to be an older gator. Plus, fat gets stored there, just like in mammals like us.

  24. 24
    eclare says:

    Wow. Used to volunteer at a zoo, if I remember my training right, most reptiles never stop growing. I would not be that calm.

  25. 25
    Debbera Carson says:

    I wish another one would have come up behind those people.

  26. 26
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @amk:

    shit, now cole is gonna wanna take him home.

    “I will kiss him and hug him and love him and squeeze him and name him George.”

  27. 27
    ArchTeryx says:

    @eclare: Depends on how well they’re fed, but yes, they never stop growing. That fellow seems to have lucked into a food source (Deer? Alligator gar or other big fish?) that’s quite plentiful. Some of that ends up as fat, and some of that ends up as bigger gator. Long as the food holds out, he’ll keep right on growing!

  28. 28
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @zhena gogolia: Lotsa good eatin’ there! Look! It’s a Turtle! Light snack!

  29. 29
    amk says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: heh, don’t give the dumbass ideas, ok?

  30. 30
    ArchTeryx says:

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    “I will kiss him and hug him and love him and squeeze him and name him George.”

    And then put him in a moat outside his house to scare off vermin and Republicans. But I repeat myself.

  31. 31
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @hellslittlestangel: And Land of the Lost.

  32. 32
    JordanRules says:

    His gait is that of an elder statesman.

  33. 33
    amk says:

    @ArchTeryx: more likely cole will put himself out in the moat and let the lil feller have the run of his home.

  34. 34
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Yarrow: When he vocalizes through that thing it’ll sound like a bullfrog, on big steroids, coming through a very large set of amplifiers.

  35. 35
    ArchTeryx says:

    @JordanRules: Or just an apex predator. He doesn’t have to fear nothin’, save maybe overly nosy hairless primates. Even one of the infamous invading Burmese Pythons probably would end up on the wrong end of the food chain if it tangled with this gator.

  36. 36
    Yarrow says:

    @Adam L Silverman: I would not want to be near that. I’ve seen them use their tails to take down prey. Scary as hell.

  37. 37
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    There are reasons I have never been to FL.

  38. 38
    Yarrow says:

    From the tweet:

    The locals call it “Hunchback.”

    So he’s around enough to acquire a name from the locals? WTF? Do they wonder what happened to their large dogs and small children from time to time?

  39. 39
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @ArchTeryx: He’s at least a twelve footer.

  40. 40
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Yarrow: Let us never speak of it again.

  41. 41
    Mike J says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: I AIN’T NO BUNNY RABBIT!

  42. 42
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @ArchTeryx: He’s on a nature preserve in Central Florida. So he’s got plenty of deer. Feral hogs/pigs/boar. A variety of fish and birds. The occasional tourist…

  43. 43
    eclare says:

    @ArchTeryx: That’s what I thought. I liked the snakes and the herpetologists…So how long can a snake live as long as it has a food source? Tortoises can live over 100 years.

  44. 44
    amk says:

    @Mike J: YES, YOU ARE. YES, YOU ARE.

  45. 45
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @ArchTeryx: Skunk Apes!

  46. 46
    ArchTeryx says:

    @Yarrow: Large dogs and small children are not as easy prey as whatever Big Boy is using as food. Believe it or not *most* gators, like most wild animals, avoid people when possible, though this one appears to be an exception.

    I actually am more afraid for the gator then the locals. They’re quite familiar with him and apparently know safety, or someone would have done something dumb, gotten attacked/mauled, and Hunchback would be a hide on someone’s wall by now.

  47. 47
    amk says:

    @Adam L Silverman: why the tourist? why not the shitgabbon locals? that’s too much even for him?

  48. 48
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Adam L Silverman: It is weird. I am not remotely freaked out by the prospect of bears around my family’s cabin in northern WI – I understand the rules for dealing with bears – but ‘gators are a different and alien thing.

  49. 49
    Yarrow says:

    @Adam L Silverman: He is really cool looking. Terrifying, but cool.

  50. 50
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @amk: The locals know to stay out of the way. Also, its Florida. Everyone is loaded for bear!

  51. 51
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @amk:

    why not the shitgabbon locals?

    Too gamey.

  52. 52
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Bears are not just up armored appetites on legs.

  53. 53
    Mike J says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Dude, we have river otters. They like to poop on stuff. Not as bad as a gator or bear, but much more common.

  54. 54
    Calouste says:

    I once went to a crocodile farm/zoo in the north part of Australia. The biggest croc they had there was about 18 or 19 feet. Most of them were pretty inactive, as it was winter, but one put on a pit of a show at feeding time and snapped a chicken of a stick that was about 6 feet above the water. I still have a picture of that somewhere. They also had a small exhibit including a short series of photo’s of a wild croc grabbing a duck midflight.

  55. 55
    Tehanu says:

    Are those people insane, lying on the ground ten feet away? That gator could have swerved and grabbed them in an eyeblink. Shudder!!!!

  56. 56
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Mike J:

    Then how come you have long ears, huh? HOW COME??

  57. 57
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Adam L Silverman: I went to law school with someone from Boca; she said that gators would occasion bathe in her family’s pool. Nice Jewish girl, your mom would love her.*

    *Helpful tip: She likes sushi.

  58. 58
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @efgoldman: True ’nuff.

  59. 59
    Calouste says:

    @Tehanu: As Adam said above, most wild animals stay away from humans. And gators/crocs don’t attack unless they are hungry (or threatened) and they only eat once every 2-3 days. So if you know that his last meal was only a few hours ago, you can be pretty certain that you’re not going to be his next.

  60. 60
    Coin operated says:

    You magnificent bastard….

  61. 61
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Calouste:

    So if you know that his last meal was only a few hours ago, you can be pretty certain that you’re not going to be his next.

    How does one track that?

  62. 62
    amk says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: well, there is only one way to find out.

  63. 63
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @amk: Okay, you go stand in front of it. I’ll stay up here.

  64. 64
    amk says:

    @efgoldman:

    Means he hasn’t had time to floss yet.

    now I know what the occasional tourist is for.

  65. 65
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @amk: Are most tourists thin enough to act as floss?

  66. 66
    amk says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: didja look at his size? piece of cake floss.

  67. 67
    Yutsano says:

    All I can think of there is fire up the gumbo pot!

  68. 68
    rikyrah says:

    Whiteness Wants Clarence Thomas to Have Prominent Place in National African-American Museum
    Stephen A. Crockett Jr.
    Today 12:12pm

    I don’t think Sen. John Cornyn III (R-Texas) understands how this works. I could be wrong, but I don’t think you need a white sponsor to be inducted into the National Museum of African American History and Culture. In fact, I don’t think you get inducted, since it isn’t the Hall of Fame. I surely don’t think you need a senator to include a resolution for you to have a “prominent place” in said museum.

    Nevertheless, apparently Cornyn isn’t happy with Supreme Court Justice Clarence “I’ve not said more than three words since being appointed to the bench” Thomas’ position in the museum and wants it to be more prominent, because, you know, whiteness and all.

    The museum didn’t omit Clarence Thomas; Clarence Thomas has omitted Clarence Thomas.

    Quick: Tell me one time that Thomas has done anything. Not just for black people—just done anything. Clarence Thomas is the real-life Bartleby, the Scrivener. He is there because we see him. And he is alive because he is there. And he does stuff, like sit and stand and say, “I would prefer not to.” But other than that, I don’t know what he does.

  69. 69
    hellslittlestangel says:

    @Debbera Carson: That’s mean. And hilarious.

  70. 70
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @rikyrah: Bartleby just did nothing. Thomas has been actively hostile.

  71. 71
    amk says:

    @rikyrah:

    But other than that, I don’t know what he does.

    being a passively subversive fifth columnist troll?

  72. 72
    rikyrah says:

    This is so sad.

    A Baby is Dead After Being Found With His Homeless Mother at a Portland Bus Stop
    The child lived less than 24 hours and never had a name.

    By Nigel Jaquiss | 1 day ago

    A Portland baby is dead after being found last week in freezing temperatures with his homeless mother in a bus stop along Southeast Powell Boulevard.

    The infant, found Jan. 9, marks the fifth death on Portland’s streets during the cold weather this year.

    Four homeless people died of exposure in the first 10 days of 2017. A week after the baby was found, it’s still unclear whether he died of exposure hours after being born outdoors or was stillborn.

    But the circumstances of the child’s death illustrate that much of the tragedy on Portland’s streets involves untreated mental illness.

  73. 73
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @efgoldman: Unless he has a tourist’s belt between his teeth, in which case he’s flossing…

  74. 74
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @rikyrah: Does Senator Cornyn think that there is a committee of African-American journalists that vote on entry/inclusion of the exhibits every year?
    (no sarc tags because given Senator Cornyn I’m not sure if I’m being a smartass or not…)

  75. 75
    amk says:

    @Adam L Silverman: man, you don’t like tourists, do ya?

  76. 76
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Definitely hostile. From what I understand he seems to be mostly inactive on the Court.

  77. 77
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @rikyrah: There is something very, very wrong with our country and society!

  78. 78
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @amk: Have you seen them drive? The snowbirds are the worst! Do I go to Quebec or Ontario or Michigan every summer and drive ten miles under the speed limit with a turn signal on all the time? I do not, thank you very much!

  79. 79
    amk says:

    @Adam L Silverman:

    They have summer in Quebec / Ontario / Michigan?

  80. 80
    Mary G says:

    The comments on that video are pretty good- less slimy than Trump and FAKE NEWS are the first couple.

    I am going to have nightmares about that thing tonight.

  81. 81
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @amk: I’ve been told this is the case. I do not have empirical verification through direct observation.

  82. 82
    Davebo says:

    I’ve seen 15 plus footers on lake Okeechobee back in the day and regularly saw 12 footers in south Texas.

    It’s just not all that rare.

  83. 83
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @amk: I an from that kind of country. We have several seasons, Winter, Fall, Spring, Construction, and Mosquito.

  84. 84
    amk says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: showoff. well, I come from the country where we have only 3 seasons – hot, hotter, hottest.

  85. 85
    Couldn't Stand the Weather says:

    That gator could star in the next Jurassic Park flick, as a stand in for the damn T. Rex (despite the fact his front legs are longer than the arms of a Tyrannosaurus).

    Could we possibly encourage Mitch McConnell and/or Paul Ryan to visit this part of Florida sometime in the near future? Maybe try to take a photo with the aforementioned Hunchback?

    Yeah, I know… those two would give the alligator hella indigestion. ;-)

  86. 86
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @efgoldman: This is also true. I had some little old lady almost kill me yesterday. She wanted to exit a side street across three lanes of traffic so she could get into the fourth/left turn lane. I thought she was going to t-bone me. And when she didn’t I thought the car behind me was going to rear end me. I am seriously considering mounting a self loading 50 cal on a swivel and installing it on the roof of my car…

  87. 87
    amk says:

    @Adam L Silverman: uhoh, it’s already started and the shitgabbon isn’t even prezinent yet.

  88. 88
    Anne Laurie says:

    @amk:

    They have summer in Quebec / Ontario / Michigan?

    In Michigan, it is known as “mosquito season”.

    I realize Floridians live with a year-round plague, but the Michigander specimens make up in size and nastiness what they lack in longevity.

    Old Yooper joke: Guy makes the mistake of going outside at twilight — two skeeters fly down & carry him off by main force.

    ‘Do we eat him here, or take him back to the swamp?’ says the first.

    ‘Better eat him here,’ says his friend, ‘If we take him home, the big guys will take him away from us!’

  89. 89
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Taste of Trump.

  90. 90
    amk says:

    @Anne Laurie: wonder if cole would want to adopt them too.

  91. 91
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @efgoldman: I saw something similar to that in Korea. My housemate and I were at this six lanes across intersection, looking to make a left turn from one of two left turn lanes, when a woman passed us on the left and turned right, against the light.

  92. 92
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Adam L Silverman: Sounds like Ballard, a neighborhood in Seattle. All these old Norwegians driving 10mph under all circumstances.

  93. 93
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @efgoldman: No, mud is not a season here.

  94. 94

    Hmm. I have this database of 141,000 Trump donors and nothing to do with it.

  95. 95
    Anne Laurie says:

    @efgoldman:

    If they didn’t, they wouldn’t have fall for the leaf peepers to bollix things up.

    No leaf peepers in Michigan — natives revile the fudgies, named because the fudge stands are the first stores at the edge of the Mackinac Bridge. And the fudgies usually show up between May and October, to take advantage of the Great Lakes’ best season.

    (There’s a second trickle of deer hunters, but they show up in late fall / winter, and it’s always risky to mock people who you know are armed and not in the best mood, i.e., drunk.)

  96. 96
    Mike J says:

    @Major Major Major Major: My uncle is a prince in Nigeria. He needs help moving a large amount of money out of the country.

  97. 97

    @efgoldman: It’s funny how much these mailing lists are supposedly worth but this took me like a very small amount of time.

  98. 98
    Mike J says:

    @Major Major Major Major: It’s against the law to use the FEC lists for commercial purposes. Not that anyone could ever catch you, but there is a very small risk.

  99. 99
    Anne Laurie says:

    @Major Major Major Major:

    I have this database of 141,000 Trump donors and nothing to do with it.

    Print it out on nice absorbent paper, in a perforated roll?

  100. 100
    Mike J says:

    @Mike J: And even against the law to bounce it against another list.

  101. 101
    Yarrow says:

    Adam, have you seen this by John Schindler? Wondered what your thoughts were.

    It’s not like Putin and his minions have been hiding what they believe. Putin himself is very much a KGB man—what Russians call a Chekist—cunningly conspiratorial to his bones. Yet over the last decade, he has become an open Russian nationalist with strong religious overtones. Regime outlets pontificate nonstop about the evils of the West, castigating our decadence and depravity, reflecting a nationalism that is deeply grounded in Orthodox Christianity.

    Putin has talked warmly about what he calls “spiritual security“—which means keeping versions of Christianity other than Russian Orthodoxy out of the country—even stating that Russia’s “spiritual shield” is as important to her security as its nuclear shield. His inspiration for this comes from Orthodox thinkers, above all Ivan Ilyin, who hated the West with vigor and passion. This anti-Western worldview seems strange and even incomprehensible to most Americans, its reference points are utterly foreign to us, yet is grounded in centuries of Russian history and spiritual experience.

    In this viewpoint, which I have termed Orthodox Jihadism, the West is an implacable foe of Holy Russia with whom there can be no lasting peace. For centuries—whether led by the Catholic Church, Napoleon, Hitler or the United States—the West has tried to subjugate Russia and thereby crush Orthodoxy, the one true faith. This is the Third Rome myth, which became very popular in 19th century Imperial Russia, postulating that it is Russia’s holy mission to resist the Devil and his work on earth.

    And given this next bit, it’s little wonder the wingnuts in the US are happy with Trump/Russia taking over. They’re birds of a feather.

    To get a flavor of what Putinism’s worldview looks like, simply listen to what Moscow says. It’s easy to find fire-breathing clerics castigating the West and its pushing of feminism and gay rights, which they openly term Satanic. The Russian “think tank” (in reality it’s just a website) Katehon is a Kremlin-approved outlet which offers heavy doses of geopolitics suffused with militant Orthodox nationalism. Significantly, its name comes from the Greek term for “he who resists the Antichrist”—and Katehon makes perfectly clear that the decadent, post-modern West is what they mean.

    Then there’s Tsargrad TV, which is Russia’s version of Fox News, if Fox News were run by hardline Russian Orthodox believers. It’s the project of Konstantin Malofeev, a Kremlin-connected hedge funder-turned-religious crusader who wanted to give the country a news outlet that reflected traditional values. Its name is the traditional Slavic term for Constantinople—the Second Rome in Russian Orthodox formulation. A few months back, when Putin visited Mount Athos in Greece, one of Orthodox’s holiest sites, accompanied by Patriarch Kirill, the head of the Russian Orthodox Church, Tsargrad TV gave it wall-to-wall live coverage.

  102. 102

    @Mike J: Makes sense. But the exact same list generated differently would be legal.

  103. 103
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Anne Laurie: I went to Mackinac once. I went with my then-wife and my parents. My dad noted that few people seemed to be having an good time – no smiles, weird need for fudge. There is real history there.

  104. 104
    NotMax says:

    Doubtless already mentioned (haven’t been online to look below much today), but shall take the schadenfreude</a. where can get it.

  105. 105
    The Dangerman says:

    Damn you, Trump! I can’t see words like “wee” and not think of you, you bastard. Same goes for helping people spell Mississippi.

  106. 106
    NotMax says:

    @Anne Laurie

    Once interviewed for a job in Iron Mountain.

    Happy to not get it; what a thoroughly stultifying, depressing town.

  107. 107
    Mike J says:

    @Major Major Major Major: You can do more population level things with the data, down to the census tract level. You can grab the Tiger data and put them in CD, zip, down to precinct level to use for targeting. Just not individuals.

  108. 108

    @Adam L Silverman:

    From what I understand he seems to be mostly inactive on the Court.

    I don’t think that’s really true. AFAIK, he participates fully in debates with the other justices, and he writes his share of opinions. He just feels that the public hearings are mostly a show for the public and far less important in forming the actual decisions than the written briefs, so he doesn’t bother to participate. I’m sure he’s right about them being mostly for show, though I think the better response is to use them to ask questions you feel were poorly dealt with in the briefs, rather than ignoring them.

  109. 109

    @Mike J: True. Would it be ‘commercial’ if it’s targeting for something non-commercial, like a campaign, or art?

    ETA: @Roger Moore:

    the better response is to use them to ask questions you feel were poorly dealt with in the briefs, rather than ignoring them

    Or… using them to make fun of somebody else’s law school?

  110. 110
    Mike J says:

    I hope I haven’t missed it, but have any of you flentl lovers seen LMM’s West Wing song?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZufACzpnn4

  111. 111
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Roger Moore: Bingo.

  112. 112
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @efgoldman: That works too.

  113. 113
    Mike J says:

    @Major Major Major Major: Counsel has told me it’s not usable at the level of ID’ing people by a campaign.

    Art? Probably some way to do it legally, but having nothing to be sued for is the best defense, Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.

  114. 114
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Yarrow: Is that his piece on what Putin wants/believes from early 2016? If so, then yes. I’ve got the most recent Katehon report, including the section written by Dugin. The stuff they produce to promote or justify or bolster their ideology is very, very different.

    ETA: Another good source is here:
    http://www.stiftungleostrauss......tag/putin/

  115. 115
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Roger Moore: Tracking, I was being facetious given that its often reported that no one is sure if he’s awake during arguments.

  116. 116
    Mike J says:

    @Yarrow:

    Then there’s Tsargrad TV, which is Russia’s version of Fox News, if Fox News were run by hardline Russian Orthodox believers

    Douthat?

  117. 117
    Adam L Silverman says:

    Time for me to rack out. You all have a good night. Catch you on the flip.

  118. 118
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @Mike J: Dreher. I think Douthat’s Catholic.

  119. 119
    Anne Laurie says:

    @NotMax:

    Once interviewed for a job in Iron Mountain.

    My freshman college roommate was from Iron Mountain; it took her almost as long to drive home on weekends (12 hours) as it did for me to get back to the Bronx.

    I’m sure it’s a lot less isolated than it was in the early 1970s, but sticking a bunch of Nordic-Americans that far out in the boonies was never gonna make for a happy welcoming place for outsiders!

    (To be honest about my elitist coastal biases, in fifteen years there I never got further north than Grand Traverse Bay, which was quite rural enough, thankyouverymuch!)

  120. 120

    @Mike J: But at the individual level, could I use somebody’s data as an art project? Like, name and city? Don’t know where the restrictions are.

  121. 121
    Mike J says:

    @Major Major Major Major: It’s public record, but I wouldn’t listen to what random programmers on the internet have to say. So, uhm, probably?

  122. 122

    @Mike J:

    I wouldn’t listen to what random programmers on the internet have to say

    Shit, I can’t just copy & paste from stack overflow all day? Fuck.

    It just sounded like you knew!

  123. 123
    Anne Laurie says:

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Dreher. I think Douthat’s Catholic.

    Yeah, IIRC, Dreher went Greek Orthodox when he decided the Catholic Church wasn’t churchy enough for him — too much talk about ‘the least of My brethren’, not enough eternal torment for sluts & queers. Doubthat moved from the Episcopalians to the Catholics for the same reason; I think he’d be sidling over towards the Eastern Rites if only Trump’s Russophile supporters weren’t so obstinately downscale.

  124. 124
    Viva BrisVegas says:

    That’s a big boy!

    The estimate for that gator is about 12 feet. Down here we call that “bait”.

    By the way, how long do you think it will be before Putin and the Orthodox Church discover that he is actually the illegitimate grandson of Princess Anastasia and is crowned Czar of all the Russias?

  125. 125
  126. 126
    Doug R says:

    I’d rather have roving gangs of rumbling raccoons.

  127. 127
    Mnemosyne says:

    He’s not as big as that guy, but we have a local legend named Reggie who lived in a public park for two years after his idiot former owners dumped him there. But since this is Hollywood, he was taken to the zoo and turned into a star instead of a pair of shoes.

  128. 128
    Gemina13 says:

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Armored, no. Appetites? YES.

    The love of my life works seasonally on the Aleutian Peninsula for a fish processing company. One year, he witnessed a bear rip through the wall of the 100+ year-old cannery just to get at the fish inside. The wall was made of old-growth timber and sheet metal. And that was just one year.

  129. 129
    eemom says:

    @Anne Laurie:

    Dreher went Greek Orthodox when he decided the Catholic Church wasn’t churchy enough for him — too much talk about ‘the least of My brethren’, not enough eternal torment for sluts & queers. Doubthat moved from the Episcopalians to the Catholics for the same reason; I think he’d be sidling over towards the Eastern Rites if only Trump’s Russophile supporters weren’t so obstinately downscale.

    It’s really amazing — however infrequently I drop in here, you’re always blathering about something you know nothing about.

    The Greek Orthodox church, in ALL respects, is a fucking Woodstock festival compared to the dearly rejected Catholicism of your birth. Eternal torment ain’t their thing; they don’t give a shit about “sluts and queers”; priests marry; divorce and birth control are cool; and they don’t give much of a shit about abortion either. For fuck’s sake, do some work for once.

  130. 130
    Gemina13 says:

    @efgoldman:

    Ah, students of the Los Angeles School of Driving, whose graduates believe that driving a BMW means they can cut across 3-4 lanes of traffic at 80 mph, without a signal, to get across town in 30 minutes or less.

  131. 131
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Roger Moore: How do you know all this? Do you have an agent reporting on all this?

    Thomas strikes me as a dolt.

  132. 132
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @eemom: Talking about the RUSSIAN Orthodox Church. Different animal. Hates the gayz.

  133. 133
    eemom says:

    @efgoldman:

    I’m sure you’re cheery too when your first step in the door lands squarely in a pile of dogshit.

  134. 134
    Millard Filmore says:

    @amk: My ex-wife came from a country with 3 seasons:
    hot, really hot, and rainy hot.

  135. 135
    eemom says:

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    uh, the genius on the FP, as quoted, was talking about the Greek.

  136. 136
    Thru the Looking Glass... says:

    @Viva BrisVegas:

    The estimate for that gator is about 12 feet.

    Pretty sure that’s more than twelve feet…

    Ever see THIS monster?

  137. 137
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Doug R: Ah, yes, Almost Live! Classic!

  138. 138
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @eemom: Oh…scrolling back, I see what happened. We were discussing the some Daesh level craziness infesting the Russian Orthodox Church, I thought that was what Anne was referring to. I defer to your obviously greater knowledge than me of the Greek Orthodox Church.

  139. 139
    Helena Montana says:

    I believe Hunchback is not quite as large as Bubba, the golf course gator in Palmetto, FL.

  140. 140
    Lurking Canadian says:

    @Villago Delenda Est: Anne Laurie may have incorrectly described the Orthodox Church. That is a subject about which I know nothing.

    However, she correctly described Dreher’s explanation for why he joined the Orthodox Church.

  141. 141
    PaulW says:

    @Chris:

    True. He’s no bigger than a kayak. Wake me when you get the guys bigger than an F-150 with a coal roller.

    Remember THIS puppy? https://youtu.be/RXn1g0xtUMk Yeah, we’re neighbors. Welcome to Florida.

  142. 142
  143. 143
    geg6 says:

    @Adam L Silverman:

    You should come to Pittsburgh and learn about the Pittsburgh left.

Comments are closed.