Living the Dream

One week to Operation Move All the Shit You Own commences.

We’re relaxing until then.

83 replies
  1. 1
    JordanRules says:

    Oh hey Steve!

  2. 2
    Omnes Omnibus says:


  3. 3
    Suzanne says:

    Hire movers. Don’t do it yourself or make your friends do it for you.

  4. 4
    Culture of Truth says:

    “Move my shit while you’re at it, big guy.”

  5. 5
    rikyrah says:

    Steve…just as scary as ever.
    Glad to hear from you, Cole😀😀

  6. 6
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    Such a fine-looking cat. Good luck with the move. I’m sure there will be many hilarious stories.

  7. 7
    NotMax says:

    New house inauguration on the 20th?

  8. 8
    Yarrow says:

    I thought the shit was stuck to Steve and then went down the drain?

  9. 9
    NotMax says:

    Cover that newly painted front door with a blanket or something to lessen the chance of scruffs and dings while stuff is being moved in.

    Getting a king size mattress and box spring up those stairs and around the turn at the landing ought to be a trip.

  10. 10
    Mary G says:

    @Suzanne: This +100. Even though you are only going a few blocks, it’s exhausting to do it all yourself. The packing and unpacking will be enough to lay you out.

  11. 11
    NotMax says:

    @Mary G

    Valuable life lesson learned when moved from an apartment on the third floor (no elevator in the building) to a much larger – and cheaper – one in the basement, which also involved going outdoors and then back in again through a separate entrance.

    Back aches merely thinking about that adventure.

  12. 12
    danielx says:

    O HAI COLE…do not forget MY BOWL.

    Edit: also too, he appears to have forgiven you for the Shitmas episode. Either that or he is waiting for you to let down your guard so he can kill you in your sleep.

  13. 13
    John Cole says:

    I’m moving two blocks. I don’t have 3 grand to pay movers. I am doing it subaru load by subaru load.

  14. 14
    Roger Moore says:

    Be sure to keep Steve indoors for the first week or so after the move, or he’ll keep trying to go back to the old place.

  15. 15
    danielx says:


    If there are any of those frat bros around for which he provided meals and housing….gentlemen, it’s time to ante the fuck up.

  16. 16
  17. 17
    Aleta says:

    Cat universe was not created for humans to disrupt.

  18. 18
    Sandia Blanca says:

    Hitch Steve, Rosie, Thurston, and Lily up to four red wagons and put them to work!

  19. 19
    burnspbesq says:

    @John Cole:

    I’m moving two blocks.

    One side of town to the other?

  20. 20
    Yarrow says:

    @John Cole: Well, drive safely. You don’t want all your belongings to end up in the field.

  21. 21
    Mary G says:

    @John Cole: You probably don’t have Mexican guys in your Home Depot parking, huh? That’s what I used. I paid them $25 an hour plus McDonald’s lunch and it was done in two days. About $750.

    In my experience, everybody is right. Steve will HATE the move.

  22. 22
    Thoroughly Pizzled says:

    One week until the jar of mustard makes its mysterious return.

  23. 23
    Gemina13 says:

    Steve is one magnificent, beautiful cat, and I’m incredibly jealous.

    Hire movers, seriously. And good luck. The house looks great.

  24. 24
    Mike J says:

    @Thoroughly Pizzled:

    One week until the jar of mustard makes its mysterious return.

    And now I have Thus Spoke Zarathustra as an earworm.

  25. 25
    Mary G says:

    @Thoroughly Pizzled: And something else will be lost forever.

  26. 26
    danielx says:

    @Mike J:

    You just had to say that, didn’t you.

  27. 27

    @John Cole: Three grand? I live in the most expensive city in the country and my last move was like five hundred.

  28. 28
    Keith P. says:

    @JordanRules: Or, as I like to call him: “Foodlover Fat”

  29. 29
    Yarrow says:

    @Major Major Major Major: I thought the same thing. Maybe it’s more expensive to hire movers when you live in a small town because they aren’t resident there and have to come in from elsewhere?

  30. 30
    Culture of Truth says:

    Got kind of tired packing and unpacking,
    Town to town, and up and down the dial

  31. 31
    Culture of Truth says:

    It’s $300 to move the stuff and $2,700 to move the cat.

  32. 32
    MomSense says:

    @Major Major Major Major:

    I was thinking BBQ for the frat guys in exchange for moving John and the critters. I don’t like the idea of John carrying boxes up and down flights of stairs.

  33. 33
    BillinGlendaleCA says:

    @Mary G: I have a Home Depot close by the cave. If you hire those folk, do it early in the day; otherwise, they’ll be as drunk as a skunk.

  34. 34
  35. 35
    CaseyL says:

    You know how they used to get big, heavy stuff upstairs when there were no elevators and the stairs were too narrow? They used a hoist set up out on the sidewalk, driveway, or front lawn.

    But don’t improvise one; get a professional to do it. Even if you move everything else yourself, get help for the really big heavy stuff. Please. ‘Cause if you don’t, you know you’ll wind up hurting yourself in some new and ghastly way. We love you and we don’t want your homecoming celebration to be broadcast from the local ER, okay?

  36. 36
    Mike J says:

    @Culture of Truth: Baby you and me were never meant to be

    When they brought WKRP back for it’s short run return, they had a story in R&R asking radio people to send in their funny stories for plots. Many of the first series (including the turkey drop) were things that actually happened.

  37. 37
    Gemina13 says:

    @John Cole:

    Okay, it cost me $3500 to move from CA to AZ in 2006. If movers are going to charge you that much to go several blocks, then (1) they’re fucking shitting you in the hopes you’ll bite and pay them, or (2) you’ve got solid granite furniture. Is there a Starving Students in your area? Or, again, tap your kids in the frat house. Make ’em earn those future dinners and sleepovers.

  38. 38
    jnfr says:

    Take good care of that kitty, John.

  39. 39
    Ruckus says:

    I’ve moved cross country twice. 2500 miles each way. It cost me about $2500 each time.

  40. 40
    Emerald says:

    What’s happening to the old house?

    (And that is one magnificent cat.)

  41. 41

    @Emerald: I think Steve gets the old house.

  42. 42
    Gemina13 says:


    Admittedly, I got fucked over because it was my first trans-state move. I knew next to nothing. They tried holding my stuff for an extra $500, until I pulled out my phone and started to call the cops. I intend to never leave Washington, but when I move later this year, it’s going to be with a U-Haul and a few sturdy friends helping out.

  43. 43
    BillinGlendaleCA says:

    @Major Major Major Major: Gives a whole new meaning to ‘cat house’.

  44. 44
    patroclus says:

    I’m watching the Senate destroy health insurance for millions of America. A sad night indeed. (Technically, of course, they’re merely instructing the budget and other committees to write a repeal budget resolution which can then be passed in a filibuster-free budget reconciliation act later in the Session, but you know what I mean).

  45. 45
    BillinGlendaleCA says:


    it’s going to be with a U-Haul and a few sturdy friends helping out.

    That’s what I did when I moved from Seattle back to LA.

  46. 46
    Calouste says:

    We paid $3000 last year to move. For that we got 2 large trucks and 8 guys in our elite coastal enclave.

  47. 47

    @patroclus: They still at it? Vote-a-ramas are weird.

  48. 48
    patroclus says:

    @Major Major Major Major: They just finished. 51-48 (with Sessions?) not voting. It was sick – Sanders was particularly ineffectual.

  49. 49

    @patroclus: Eh, not much he could’ve done, other than anything. Did he do anything?

  50. 50
    Keith P. says:

    @Gemina13: Estes Movers ripped me off in a similar manner. Charged me a $500 deposit, and then didn’t show up. When I kept calling, they kept coming up with reasons why the driver was late. Finally, we argued enough to where the woman on the phone said I was being rude, so she was canceling my contract and not returning my deposit.*

    * If you’re wondering why I didn’t take it further, I was *very* flush with cash at the time and was running with a rough crew, so I was either going to let it go, or take out another…contract and escalate the whole situation up to a new, more serious level.

  51. 51
    seaboogie says:

    @John Cole: I’ve moved like that a couple of times, and – if time permits and you can manage it – move the new stuff you choose to keep (this is an excellent time to edit your stuff!) into place, and place it where you think you’ll want it. Keep the installation of your stuff as satisfyingly zen as you can. Then go back for another load.

    Also, those cardboard file storage boxes are “the bomb” for moving, because even with books, they don’t get too heavy, and have the handles to make them easier for you (and your bum shoulder) to deal with. If you get a ten-pack at your local Staples, that should be enough. Just load up (and you don’t have to pack too carefully with a local “in your car” move), bring the boxes over, and then unload. Rinse and repeat.

    Leave behind – for the time being – what you don’t absolutely want and love, and when you are mostly done, donate or discard what is left. Think of this as “shopping” your possessions anew. Except for paperwork – just put that in boxes and deal with it when your are up to it.

    Also, consider getting some Nitrile* gloves at your local building supply. Handling everything, and the cleaning afterwards just strips all the moisture out of your hands. After my recent move I felt like I might have erased my fingerprints. I have rarely been so exhausted as I was during the move, but settling my favorite things in the new space as I went made me so happy, and I flomped down on my bed in the new space with a satisfied “Yaasssss…”

    *Nitrile gloves are un-bulky, sensitive, grippy and washable. I use them so often for so much.

    If you are going to hire anyone else for anything for your move, hire cleaners for the old joint once you have left. Unless you have a cleaning fetish, this is a rather dispiriting and exhausting enterprise with little reward – unlike setting up housekeeping in your new digs – which are extremely lovely and tasteful, BTW.

    Are you open at all to the BJ community getting you a great new sofa and end tables for our new HQ? There seems to be some interest here, and I would be happy to coordinate it as a gofundme. Consider it a way for us to pitch in on the move, sans being local and having pick-up trucks. Anything that this miserable bunch of howling jackals can do with clicks instead of getting dressed, showing up in person and using our backs is a win-win for all concerned.

  52. 52
    James Powell says:

    Moving also turns into Operation Finding Out How Much Shit You Own, or When did I buy this? Who gave me this?

  53. 53
    MomSense says:

    So the Republicans held a vote a thon tonight Setting up the ACAdkr repeal using budget reconciliation. Every single Democrat and King stood up together (even Manchin!) and voted no. Even though they were all scolded for doing so they have a brief statement defending us.

    I’m devastated. I’m also really proud to be a Democrat.

    Oh and fuck fucking Enzi you sociopathic asshole.

  54. 54
    SWMBO says:

    It would only cost about $500-750 for the movers to move all his stuff. The expensive part is having them all be certified paramedics to help with Cole if he helps.

  55. 55
    Ruckus says:

    Only fair that it cost a ton, it probably seemed to weigh one as well.
    Was it that your aunt just wanted to get rid of the piano and figured that if she gave it to you, you’d pay to move it? And she wouldn’t have to?

  56. 56
    JordanRules says:

    @MomSense: Uggh. The GOP, such craven cowards.
    Glad to hear about the Dems standing strong.

  57. 57
    Mister Papercut says:

    Congrats on the ACA repeal, Party of Life™! I’ve upgraded your logo, gratis, to commemorate the occasion! No need to thank me, it’s on the house, you fucking monstrous ghouls…

  58. 58
    Mary G says:

    @BillinGlendaleCA: I took the woman who cleaned my house with me to interview, and yes I went early. She grilled them thoroughly and rejected 4 or 5 people she found unsatisfactory. I didn’t dare tell her how much I paid them. (I paid her as well.)

  59. 59
    Mnemosyne says:


    Well, so much for any Republicans being willing to stand against their leadership. Craven cowards to the end.

    Now it’s time to identify every single Republican running for re-election in 2018 and start finding opponents for them RIGHT FUCKING NOW. Not in January of 2018, N.O.W.

  60. 60
    NotMax says:


    Expect it was Feinstein who was absent as she had a pacemaker installed today.

  61. 61
    JordanRules says:

    Crazy, crazy day. “Votearama” barely registering as the GOP votes to push their fellow countrymen towards suffering and death.

    Disgusting. The whole day.

  62. 62
    Origuy says:

    I heard a saying that “Moving is a third of a fire”, meaning that in a move you’ll lose or damage a third of the stuff you would lose in a fire. An exaggeration, of course, but some stuff does get lost no matter what.

  63. 63
    seaboogie says:


    but some stuff does get lost no matter what.

    In my move to FL in 2000 I lost my flute and some sassy red pants. Since it was an international move (CAN to US), I didn’t pack any mustard, thank FSM.

    And I’m in California now, not FLA – also thank FSM.

  64. 64
    JordanRules says:

    If the media bothers to report on #voterama tomorrow people are going to be in for quite a shock.
    The info will trickle out to them eventually, maybe when they or a loved one gets sick and realizes they are screwed.

    In the wee hours, the GOP are going all in. Can’t be said enough – disgusting.

  65. 65
    Mary G says:

    @NotMax: Thanks for putting that up, because I was going to call her office and yell about her being absent for voterama. I guess the Republicans literally broke her heart.

  66. 66
    BillinGlendaleCA says:


    I didn’t pack any mustard, thank FSM.

    Yet another case of lost mustard.

  67. 67

    @Mary G: I hate to say it, I hope this will encourage her to retire.

  68. 68
    GregB says:

    Party of Death.

  69. 69
    CarolDuhart2 says:

    Yes, I hired movers, but I found the most exhausting thing about moving (besides setting up stuff again) was sorting through everything. Find a bin/box/whatever to put things in that you don’t want to move and sort all that stuff out first.

    Small town, can you simply sit things out on the lawn and let people know they can just take it and go? Beats moving it and then tossing it.

    Agreed on the frat boys thing. You should be able to hire a couple of brawny guys from your frat for a couple hours or so to move your heavy things.

    When moving your smaller stuff, take time to actually set things up (curtains, things in closet, whatnot). That makes it easier again on M-Day when all you would have to do is move the bed, table, et cetera. Could the cats and such be moved beforehand as well?

  70. 70
    sukabi says:

    John, is Steve’s cute pink belly the result of Christmas Shitpocalypse? Or do you shave him for some other reason?

  71. 71
    Mary G says:

    Well, those shenanigans Mitch McConnell pulled in the wee hours got me so mad I wrote a letter to the editor of WaPo.

    I just finished reading “It was a mad, mad day in American politics. Is it also
    our new normal?” by Monica Hesse and Elise Verbeck. When they said “Wednesday
    was business as unusual,” they weren’t kidding. The Republican Senate forced
    through a vote in the wee hours of the morning defunding the Affordable Care
    Act, drowning out Democratic senators’ attempts to voice any protest. Everything
    else – the clown circus disguised as the president-elect’s first press
    conference, the confirmation hearings, even the furor over Buzzfeed’s
    publication of the “dossier,” was calculated to hide this action.

    Shame on the Republican senators. They spent the last Congressional session
    working fewer days than ever before, taking seven week vacations, and
    accomplishing nothing much more than naming post offices, and now that they have
    complete control of the government they are trying to ram through wholesale
    changes that they perfectly well know the majority of Americans don’t approve of
    in the hope that if they throw up so much noise and distraction, this will get
    lost in the shuffle and we won’t notice.

    They are wrong.

    I have had rheumatoid arthritis since 1979 and my current treatment is billed at
    more than $40,000 a pop. I am lucky to have Medicare, a supplemental policy, and
    savings, but I am the exception, not the rule. The thought of having to live
    with the pain and joint destruction would make me choose suicide if I did not
    have access to care. People with cancer are going to die if they get their way.
    After listening to seven years of complaining about the ACA being “crammed down
    their throats,” this is the dictionary definition of hypocrisy.

    They probably won’t print it, but I am going to fax it to Darrell Issa tomorrow.

    ETA: I had a line about how they should be walked down the Washington Mall accompanied by a nun ringing a bell and calling “shame,” except not naked, because ew. Hospital gowns and those non-skid slipper socks would be good. I took it out in the end, because I know shorter letters are better.

  72. 72
    Just One More Canuck says:

    @John Cole: what could possibly go wrong with that plan?

  73. 73
    Just One More Canuck says:

    @sukabi: what happens in Bethany stays in Bethany

  74. 74
    Ohio Mom says:

    What about those frat boys? Don’t they need to do a community service project? At the least, can’t you pay them in the traditional pizza and beer?

    Moving only a couple of blocks is a breeze though. I did it once. Move a car load, unpack a car load. None of that, “which of these gazillion boxes has what I need right now?” Everything is immediately where it belongs, more or less.

    And so-called professional movers tend to break stuff, or selected items manage to disappear. Still pissed off my Old Prospector doll from my Toy Story set didn’t make it from Dayton to Cincinnati.

    ETA: I see several others beat me to the frat brothers suggestion.

  75. 75
    satby says:

    @Mister Papercut: shared, and thank you!

  76. 76
    D58826 says:

    Steve is working on his ‘we are not pleased’ look!

  77. 77
    Kathleen says:

    @Major Major Major Major: He said he liked Jeff and would listen to him.

  78. 78
    Skepticat says:

    You have my profound empathy (a few year ago I moved–only a few miles, to put everything in storage, and with amateur help–from a house in which I’d lived thirty years to the day, and I’m still tired), but I also envy your fresh start in your gorgeous new digs. And I so envy your being owned by the pups and Steve. I miss my Bigelow, who was a glorious Maine coon, every day.

  79. 79
    Gemina13 says:

    @James Powell:

    I called my last move (from AZ to WA) Buddhist Nun Time, because I sold or gave away everything I hadn’t written, drawn, or couldn’t wear – except for my books. Gotta keep the books.

  80. 80

    Steve looks like a mini Yeti.

  81. 81
    Just One More Canuck says:

    @Gemina13: @James Powell: moving is always a good time to get rid of stuff you don’t need (except books – always need books). If you cant remember how you got it or the last time you used it/wore it, get rid of it

  82. 82
    pam says:

    I am a long time reader/lurker and have never made a comment but I must say I love your new house. I totally support your painting rooms colours you like. I like them too. they are interesting, and not white or beige and look like they would be nice to live with. sorry about how much this has cost — I hope you and the furry family will enjoy living in the house once you are there

  83. 83
    grumpy realist says:

    @Origuy: I lost a copy of a biography of Alexandra David-Neel in French when I moved from Tokyo to London. Still annoyed at that. (Did manage to hold on to the 1920s Larousse, however.)

    John, one recommendation I will make is for you to grab a few boxes and casually move over as much small stuff you don’t need (any kitchen stuff you don’t absolutely need is a good candidate) about 1-2 boxes per day. Take it over, stuff on to kitchen shelves. This way you won’t have to try to unpack 110 mystery boxes the morning after The Big Move trying to figure out where you stashed the coffee pot/frying pan/ kitchen knife.

    Another recommendation: get one of those plastic cases roughly 1″ x 12″ x 10 ” with snaps on it and put anything in there you want to make sure you have access to. (The “grab if there’s a fire” stuff: keys, passport, wallet, essential papers, medical insurance card, cellular phone….all the absolutely important stuff you don’t want to stuff away in the bowels of a box . Also include a screwdriver, whatever you need to rip open boxes, any Allen wrenches needed to assemble furniture, and whatever daily medication you want to have on hand.) I’ve done this trick for quite a few international moves and it’s amazing the peace of mind it gives.

Comments are closed.