It’s time for our annual Drunken Aunties Cookie Bake Off, this year with extra family drama into which I refuse to be drawn. Expect drunk tweets! On the menu:
Butter cookie cutouts with royal icing
Mocha chip espresso cookies
Buckeyes
Peanut butter cup cookies
Raspberry jam thumbprints
Coconut macaroons
Snickerdoodles
Christ, do I dread making buckeyes with little kids! Do you know what buckeyes are? Basically, a mixture of peanut butter and confectioners’ sugar rolled into balls and dipped in chocolate. Sounds perfect for a kid project, right?
Nope. Last year, I turned my back for just a few minutes to monitor the baking, and the little shits made buckeyes ranging in size from marbles (as I’d instructed) to billiard balls.
I don’t expect precision from kids, but damn. I had to assemble an ad hoc toothpick crane to lower the giant buckeyes in the chocolate pan and roll them around without them falling apart. Then I had to make wax paper baffles in the tins containing giant buckeyes so they wouldn’t roll around and crush gingerbread men and Santas like that boulder in the Temple of Doom. Pain in the ass.
Anyhoo, long night ahead. Open thread!
debbie
Put the kids in charge of decorating. You’ll have the drunken thing as a cover.
TaMara (HFG)
Well, I probably won’t be drunk (but it’s early, so who the hell knows) but I’ll be making these cookies today, giving them a citrus twist.
A friend of a friend lends me her metal, ratchet, cookie press each year. Otherwise I wouldn’t even try it. This this is like the magical mystery machine of cookie presses.
Iowa Old Lady
We have so many sweets in the house it’s a miracle we’re not all dosing on insulin.
Betty Cracker
@TaMara (HFG): A cookie press never even occurred to me. I wonder how much they cost? Hmmm. Weighing a run to the fancy cookware outlet in town… Thanks!
TaMara (HFG)
@BettyCracker – are your butter cookies soft and chewy or hard and crisp?
To everyone else, I’m always on the lookout for a sugar or butter cookie recipe that’s crisp on the outside and moist on the inside – that’s good for cutouts and decorating. I hate those dry, tasteless ones that takes all the fun out of decorating them.
I had a recipe years ago that I think had sour cream in it…
TaMara (HFG)
@Betty Cracker: Makes sure it’s a metal one. The plastic ones are not worth it and there will only be heartbreak.
Brachiator
Rogue One is about to start. Wish I had a cookie.
Another Scott
My favorite are Cowboy Cookies. There are lots of variations, but I like that recipe.
Cheers,
Scott.
Jeffro
Did anyone already post about the hot new LEGO set* this season?
Please note the number of pieces in the set.
*Tax returns not included
Shana
HuiJia Stainless Steel Deluxe Biscuit Press with 13 discs & 8 icing tips at Amazon for $26 seems to fit the bill.
Sorry, unable to link.
Betty Cracker
@TaMara (HFG): My butter cookies are crisp. Glad you warned me off the plastic press — more heartbreak is the last thing I need. I think I may run out and acquire one.
@Brachiator: So jealous. Gonna try to see it tomorrow.
rikyrah
Anyone have a good lemon cookie?
Mike E
@Iowa Old Lady: We got a gift box of Italian chocolates at work…pow! Holey moly they’re good, tho
amygdala
One of the best things I’ve ever gotten for the annual holiday cookie-baking extravaganza is <https://www.amazon.com/Norpro-Stainless-Cookie-Baller-Washing/dp/B00004UE85>a set of dishers, like this . I got a half-dozen or so of the really little ones–two teaspoons, a tablespoon, etc. Great for getting enough uniformity so that everything bakes off consistently.
J.
Those cookies look yummy! Hope there isn’t too much drama.
amygdala
In moderation. :(
jeffreyw
Mrs J baked some fab choc chip cookies with pecans last night. This morning a neighbor lady brought a stray kitteh by. Mrs J said she would handle it.
TaMara (HFG)
@rikyrah: These are like the ones you get for $6 a box at Harry and David. Don’t know if that’s what you’re looking for, but they are melt in mouth.
Pogonip
Marble-size is a pretty stingy buckeye. Try 2/3-of-a-ping-pong-ball size. Just about perfect. And if you should ever have occasion to go to The Cheese House near Plain City, Ohio, buy a lifetime supply of their buckeyes. Best ever.
TaMara (HFG)
@amygdala: Fixed and also fixed your link. I have similar and wouldn’t bake drop cookies or muffins without – great for uniformity and ease of adding to cookie sheets and muffin tins.
TaMara (HFG)
@jeffreyw: Oh. My. That face.
MomSense
Just remembered that the show Star has aired. Watching it on demand now because I have always had a wicked celebrity crush on Lenny Kravitz. He has to be the coolest person on the planet.
ETA Have pain perdu (baked French toast)in the refrigerator for tomorrow. I’ll add some of my wild blueberry stash to the pan about 2/3 of the way through the baking time.
germy
Maria Bamford on cooking:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZoDIIrp2r4
with some healthy Paula Deen recipes/suicide notes
amygdala
@TaMara (HFG): Thank you.
They really make the annual cookie-fest much, much easier. For all my drop cookies, I use the dishers to portion and shape them then put them in the freezer in zip-top bags. When it’s time to bake, it’s just a matter of arranging them on the cookie sheet atop parchment (or a Sil-pat) and popping them in the oven. Makes baking day go quickly.
Bar cookies and the ones you can roll up and slice also make baking day go quickly.
I love baking, but when I have to crank out 1000+ cookies, efficiency matters.
debit
@jeffreyw: Oh, what a little beauty!!
jurassicpork
Mrs. JP and I are in a very bad way this Christmas season. I’ve made an appeal at Welcome Back to Pottersville for assistance and I’ve also included a special book gift offer for those who chip in beyond a certain amount.
JPL
@Jeffro: That would be funny, if not true… If the set was available, the adult lego lovers in my family would smash it to smithereens.
Larkspur
Ah, I don’t bake; you can’t make me. But I admire all the luscious things y’all are making. My biggest accomplishment so far this morning was getting to Trader Joe’s at 8:05 am and snagging a bunch of their bags of Gingerbread Cookie Sticks. Yum.
Blueberries are my totem fruit. I think ginger is my totem spice.
(Early is the only safe time to go to Trader Joe’s if you want to avoid the mayhem in the parking lot. And early is the time you can have fun with the other shoppers, who are cheerful because they too know they have successfully managed to shop before everything goes crazy. TJs workers are great, but they can’t help in the parking lot.)
germy
@jurassicpork: You’ve appeared on many different blogs asking for money over the years. One of the commenters here (I don’t remember which one) sort of suggested you’re running a grift. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but you do seem to pop up on a regular basis.
debit
Totally not about cookies, but I have to gush. I have a 2001 Subaru Forester with almost 300 thousand miles on it. It’s my back up car and I drive it infrequently. It’s been sitting outside for two weeks in typical Minnesota weather. Tonight the low is going to be -23. I went out to start it with expectation of hearing rrrrr rrrrr rrrrr groan click. Click. But it started right up. I love that damn car.
TaMara (HFG)
@Betty Cracker: All metal ones seem so hard to come by, and you want the ratchet mechanism, regardless. This part plastic/part metal has pretty good reviews, so I’ll revise my criticism to this one might be okay:
Kuhn Rikon cookie press
debit
@germy: Might have been me. I shouldn’t let it irk me; after all, we’re a community that donates for all sorts of things. But JP doesn’t bother to be part of the community, just pops in to beg and then never responds. If not a scam, it is, at least, bad manners.
Mnemosyne
@jeffreyw:
That looks like 2 out of our 3 cats. Tuxies are the best.
germy
@debit:
True, and my wife and I donate to all sorts of worthy causes. I wonder if liberal/progressive blog commenters are seen as “easy marks” because we’re so anxious to improve things, more so perhaps than people who comment on RW/reactionary blogs.
gogol's wife
I bought cookies for my last day of class from our local great baker, so we’re set for the foreseeable future. They’re basically big delicious lumps of butter and sugar with various flavorings.
The snow plow came!
Mnemosyne
Last night’s migraine has finally retreated, so a large part of today will involve watching His Girl Friday and writing 3,000 or so words about it for the Weekend Movie Club.
I keep trying to write shorter, I swear, but I seem to have lost my old journalism skill of writing to length.
Elizabelle
Good luck w baking! I might try TaMara’s citrus cookies this year.
Elizabelle
@Mnemosyne: I saw a bit of Jane Eyre (Orson Welles!) this morning. Great B&W.
Reminds me 2017 might be the year to read The Wide Sargasso Sea.
Mnemosyne
@Elizabelle:
Have you ever seen I Walked With A Zombie? Producer Val Lawton pitched it to RKO as “Jane Eyre in the West Indies,” and it fits that paradigm. Plus it’s much wiser about the lingering moral aftereffects of slavery than even most films today.
orchid moon
@TaMara (HFG): Love my cookie press. Made a recipe of cookies so I could give as gifts to neighbors, and we have already eaten most of them. Now I have to make more. Yay!
orchid moon
@Betty Cracker: My cookie press is a SAWA, made in Sweden. You can only find them on Ebay now.
gogol's wife
@Elizabelle:
I love Herrmann’s score for Jane Eyre.
Definitely read Wide Sargasso Sea, and then watch the movie. Naked Nathaniel Parker!
gogol's wife
@Mnemosyne:
Theresa Harris FTW!
debbie
@rikyrah:
My grandmother used to make these. They’re really good:
Crisp Lemon Thins
1/2 c. butter
3/4 c. brown sugar, packed (I’d go with light instead of dark)
1 egg
3/4 c. flour
1/2 c. almonds, chopped (I chop up slivered almonds, just takes a sec)
1/4 c. quick rolled oats
1 T. grated lemon rind
1/2 t. lemon extract
Directions:
Cream butter. Gradually add brown sugar. Blend in egg. Cream well. Add flour. Mix well. Stir in almonds, oats, lemon rind, and lemon extract.
Drop scant teaspoons on greased baking sheet (recipe is from before they discovered parchment paper).
Bake @ 350 degrees for 7 to 10 minutes. The edges will be dark, but don’t let them get too dark.
This makes about 36, but since I usually “test taste” the batter, it’s never made that many for me.
gene108
@Betty Cracker:
SPOILER ALERT: There is no opening narrative crawl in “Rogue One”. Hope I did not give too much away.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@MomSense: How are you? I’ve been thinking about you since you shared your shoveling story.
I share your view of Lenny Kravitz. He’s totally cool (and totally hot). I laffed and laffed at his daughter and Steven Tyler’s daughter’s text exchange when the Swedish pants split happened.
PsiFighter37
3 holiday parties in a row have absolutely knocked me out. My voice is completely shot, and it’s only been in the past hour where I’ve regained any semblance of energy. Suppose it’s time to be more productive, although I would like nothing better than to lay on the couch and be a complete slouch.
2 days until our fate is sealed by the Electoral College. Yay fun! What would be nice is if Obama appointed Garland between the time the old Senate goes out and the new Senate is sworn in. Of course it is too much to expect him to do that, even though it is well within his rights.
MomSense
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q):
It’s snowing right now! The good news is that it warmed up enough to snow. I’ve lost my shoveling assistants so it will just be me and the dog later. The pup tries to catch the snow off my shovel which is adorable.
Was it Liv Tyler? She’s a Maine girl which is kind of fun. I think we should have a Lenny Kravitz channel especially for those of us who are trying to avoid any possible viewing of hair furor.
HeleninEire
Just found another great restaurant. It’s called 101 Talbot. I’m sipping Pinot Grigio and eating monkfish wrapped in parma ham with a light lobster sauce. Life is good.
Mnemosyne
@gogol’s wife:
Harris was great in pretty much everything she did. It looks like Clinton Rosemond played the coachman who has the monologue on the island’s history of slavery with Frances Dee, who has a very sheltered-white-lady response to it. His patient but disappointed expression afterwards says it all.
ETA: I checked and, yep, Harris played Barbara Stanwyck’s friend/maid in Baby Face. That’s still one hell of a shocking movie 80 years later.
TaMara (HFG)
@Mnemosyne: Love His Girl Friday. And that reminds me, I need to dig out my Thin Man DVD and watch it. I save it for the holidays.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@MomSense: It was (the much younger) Chelsea, who heard from Zoe:
The whole thing just cracked me up, including Lenny making his own hashtag #penisgate.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@MomSense: I’m in moderation, probably for Lenny’s hashtag. Link to the Chelsea Tyler/Zoe Kravitz exchange is this.
tmflibrarian
@TaMara (HFG): When I bake sugar cookies, my go-to recipe is this one from Rose Beranbaum, but I add the zest from probably two lemons and at least one large orange to the batter, because I like a citrusy cookie.
http://www.foodandwine.com/recipes/christmas-sugar-cookies
I tend to cut them into star shapes and sprinkle with large crystals of raw sugar. The result is a sparkly cookie with crisp points and a moist center (provided I’ve rolled them evenly) and no messy icing. The only ones that go quicker are the peanut butter cookies with chunks of chocolate.
Betty
@Elizabelle: By all means, do read it. It’s very good and has wonderful descriptions of Dominica – where Jean Rhys grew up and where I’ve been living for 20+ years.
Shell
Walnut tassies are the one cookie I always try to make very Yuletide. That, and lots of bread.
Snow here in N.New Jersey. Then zipping up to almost 60 degrees tomorrow? Freaky. But at least I don’t have to worry about shoveling.
The George C. Scott version of ‘Christmas Carol’ is on tonight. The Patrick Stewart one, on Monday.
Kathleen
Off Cookie Topic because I missed thread downstairs.
Betty Cracker:
tacky-ass horde of parasitical grift-mavens
belongs in a Balloon Juice Lexicon Snark Hall of Fame. Had me laughing out loud in Starbucks at my local Kroger in Ft. Fascist, Kentucky.
MomSense
@HeleninEire:
I’m so envious.
HeleninEire
@MomSense: Come visit! Although I gotta say, I’m a bit worried about gaining weight. But I tell myself that I have found a yoga studio and the River Liffy has fantastic running trails. I just gotta get out there. Like yesterday.
germy
Has anyone else here ever had a UPS driver damage their property (not the package)?
A few days ago I was home during the day and saw a UPS truck pull up in front of our house. We have a wood gate that leads to the side of our house. Very simple to open the gate. No latch or lock. It’s on a spring; you push it gently open to enter, and then open it with a handle to exit.
The driver grabbed the top of the wood gate and pulled roughly (instead of pushing the gate open). He finally figured out it was “push to open” and got in. When he left, instead of pulling it open, he tried to push it, again grabbing the top of the gate and shaking it violently.
It’s now disconnected from the top hinge, and the wood holding that together is off. The gate is basically hanging by the bottom latch. I called UPS, they took my info and promised “to get back” to me.
I doubt they’ll do a damn thing about it.
HeleninEire
@germy: Go on UPS Facebook page and complain in public. They’ll respond.
Kathleen
@MomSense: Thanks for reminding me! I need a new series to be addicted to and I love Lenny Kravitz, too. Not a big Benjamin Brat fan, maybe that’s because I didn’t like character he played on Law and Order. Also, too, Queen Latifah. I love Queen Latifah.
Major Major Major Major
There’s a quip in futurama that goes something like “I remember Christmas with my family. Dad would always make his ‘special eggnog’ out of bourbon and ice cubes.”
Kathleen
@Larkspur: The Trader Joe’s parking lot here in quite clusterfull as well. I pass by their on my way home from work but dare not attempt to enter lot to find a spot. I like Trader Joe’s, but it’s too much trouble.
Shana
@efgoldman: Here if Fairfax County everything seems to have melted as of about an hour ago, so 1-1:30ish.
germy
@HeleninEire: I’m not on the book of faces.
Mnemosyne
@germy:
Don’t forget to take pictures of it, both from a distance and close up. A close up shot should make it easier to show that it’s recent damage, not something old that you’re trying to scam them for.
Steeplejack (tablet)
@efgoldman:
It’s 36° here in Threadkill Lane. The ice looks to have melted, but the sidewalks and streets are still wet. This morning people were walking so gingerly that they were avoiding the sidewalks completely and walking on the grass.
Supposed to get up into the 50s tomorrow, so there’s that. Weird.
Humdog
@germy: my UPS driver is a good guy but my FedEx and USPS drivers are jerks. FedEx thinks my driveway is just a suggestion, they off-road into the plants on either side every time. Logging trucks have safely navigated the drive, but FX cannot be bothered. USPS has a feud with the trash pick up guys and when the dumped cans get out in front of the mailbox the postal carrier “shows them” by placing my mail on top of the empty cans to blow where it will. Complaining to USPS got me no mail delivery on trash days. Complaining to Fed Ex got me “choose another carrier if you have a problem with it.”
I’d send UPS a bill for what you paid to fix the gate and see what happens, but don’t hold your breath.
Gin & Tonic
@efgoldman: My daughter and SIL in Baltimore enjoyed a morning at home with his responsibilities canceled. Don’t know what it’s like now, but we Facetimed with them earlier and everyone seemed to be enjoying being in their PJ’s at 1030 am.
Kathleen
@TaMara (HFG): I love His Girl Friday (all things Cary Grant, actually, including Bringing Up Baby, which is not popular at BJ it seems but that’s OK) and the Thin Man. Thin Man is so fresh and sophisticated. William Powell and Myrna Loy are magic. OT, but does anyone else have a mad crush on Joel McCrea? Fell in love with him in Sullivan’s Travels and Foreign Correspondent. Love that man.
Kathleen
@MomSense: Me, too. I qualify for dual citizenship. Toying with the idea.
HeleninEire
@Kathleen: DO IT. You have nothing to lose. Getting the passport is 80 bucks.
germy
@Humdog: I got a call back from UPS. He said they have liability insurance for this sort of thing. He said he’d talk to the driver and get back to me. Maybe I can get reimbursed for the cost of the repair.
germy
@Mnemosyne: We took some pictures. In the larger scheme of things (like the upcoming four years) it’s minor….
but it bugged the shit out of me seeing that driver handling my gate so violently. We put a lot of time, effort and money into our house and property.
cosima
@TaMara (HFG): Sweet Paul Magazine had a neopolitan (vanilla, strawberry & chocolate) spritz sandwhich cookie recipe that I just printed out today. Looks like they used a rose/star icing tip to do them, and they are gorgeous.
germy
I remember winters from years ago. It would either snow, or it wouldn’t snow.
Nowadays we get this “starting as snow, changing to sleet and freezing rain, just rain, then back to snow, then back to rain again.” 28º today, 45º tomorrow, etc.
gene108
@efgoldman:
Saw it last night.
cosima
@HeleninEire: My daughter & husband have discovered orienteering, a bit over a year ago now. The combination of running + beautiful outdoors + fab people has been amazing for the whole family. I don’t know if I’ll pick it up at any point, but they are loving it, and it is a really supportive & interesting community (I do TONS of volunteering at the club & national level). Orienteering is big in Ireland too, so there’s a good chance that you’d be able to find a club in your area. We’ve travelled all over Scotland to do races over the past year, and have yet to meet anyone that ‘s not our sort of people. It’s a great way to get out, see the country, meet interesting people, and be active.
My daughter messaged me a shot of the temps in VT yesterday, and there was a Mount Something that was -87 with wind chill factor. How does that even happen outside of the poles? I was born & raised in Alaska, and have seen -50 (and experienced it thanks to work), but -87?
NotMax
Favorite at winter holiday time are Swedish ginger snaps (with extra snap). This will make at least 6 dozen.
1 cup sugar
1 cup softened butter or lard
1 cup light molasses
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 tbl ground ginger
½ tsp black pepper (or more if extra spiciness preferred)
3½ cups sifted flour
sugar for coating
Preheat oven to 350.
Cream together sugar and butter well, then beat in light molasses.
Sift together flour, salt, ginger. baking soda, pepper. Add to molasses mixture and beat very well.
Shape dough into balls about the size of large marbles, roll those in sugar before baking.
Place 1½ apart on baking mat or lightly greased cookie sheet.
Bake 12 – 15 minutes, until lightly browned on bottom. Let cool on baking sheet 1 minute, then transfer to wire rack to cool completely.
Tops may be slightly cracked – this is normal.
MomSense
@Kathleen: @HeleninEire:
How many generations back is too many?
Josie
@NotMax: Thanks for this. They sound really good.
Shell
I adore that candy-striped dress she wears in the beginning of The Thin Man.
hovercraft
@MomSense:
He’s cool, and well endowed, as evidenced by his umm, shall we say wardrobe malfunction WARNING NSFW. I mean how many of us could split our pants in front of hundreds of fans, quickly change pants and continue on rocking, that’s the epitome of cool.
HeleninEire
@MomSense: You can go as far back as your grandparents but your parents had to have done it.
Another Scott
@cosima: Mt. Washington (over in NH, but not that far) has some of the worst weather in the world. Present conditions: 14F, 51 mph gusts, -10F wind chill. The wind chill was -87F there at 6 AM yesterday.
Nippy!
Cheers,
Scott.
Kathleen
@HeleninEire: I have one – just need to renew it before February. I saw your comment in thread above which indicates I may not be eligible. Only my grandfather was born there and my father never applied. I need to googlz to determine requirements. I have copies of all his paper work (baptismal certificate, citizenship papers).
gogol's wife
@Kathleen:
Try The More the Merrier — he’s delicious in that one.
Shirley Temple got a crush on him when they met, she was about 6 years old.
cosima
@Another Scott: That must have been the one that was on her screen shot (she’s near Burlington). She was out skiing today (x-c) so it wouldn’t have been as cold today.
1stgengirl
@TaMara (HFG): There is an electric version of the old metal cookie press. It’s called Super Shooter. It has all the same insert designs, plus a manicotti stuffing attachment. Works great!