I had to head to the big city to go to get stuff I couldn’t find at the general store (produce and the like), and had to stop for this:
In West Virginia, mom, dad, sis, and the calf meet junior at the bus stop on the first day of school. I just love that I was able to capture this happening.
Too Walter to the vet for his shots, a final checkup, so more pain meds, and a health certificate, and, because no good deed goes unpunished, despite taking a walk prior to loading Walter where he did two bm’s and three potties, he took a ginormous shit in the back seat and then proceeded to sit and walk in it and grind it into every square inch of the back seat. It’s embedded in the seams of the leather, in the slots for the seat belts, in the carpet on the floor, everywhere. As soon as I smelled it my internal monologue was “NO NO NOOO NOOO NOOO PLEASE DON’T HAVE DONE WHAT I THINK YOU DID.” I pulled over, and he had.
I have pictures of it (because of course I do), but I’m not going to post them because I don’t want the website turning into Dogshit Afficionado. I got him cleaned up enough to go in for his appointment, and hosed him off and got most of it cleaned up, but I am going to have to take this to a professional and pay to have it surgically cleaned. Despite my best efforts, there is still mashed in dog shit in places I didn’t know my car had places. It’s always fucking something.
Got Walter in, and they oohhed and ahhhed all over him, and we weighed him, and he is now 87lbs. He was 63 lbs just 17 days ago, and we think he needs to be about 95lb to be at his perfect weight. You can still feel his spine.
He got all his immunizations and I got all his records and a list of everything that has been done the past few weeks and a health certificate so he can travel on Saturday, and everything is going great with our boy. The nurses gave him some goodbye treats and kisses and shed a few tears (Monica cries about everything- I just love her to death. Whenever a pet is put down she sits in the room and cries with the owners. She’s just an angel.):
So, everything is set for a safe transport on Saturday. I got a new bottle of Remadyl and need to pick up a new bag of Science Diet so Deb does not have to rush out and buy food the moment he shows up, even I figure she probably will run to the store anyway to buy treats and toys. Also need to pick up a couple bones for his ride.
At any rate, I am off to take a shower BECAUSE FUCKING GROSSNESS HAPPENED IN MY CAR and then take a nap.
Baud
Too late.
raven
Good doggie!
Renie
What a great job you have done! Walter looks incredible. BTW was this ‘dogshit adventure’ in your new vehicle?
khead
It’s gonna take a while to clean your bigfoot.
alhutch
I wouldn’t let my dog in the car without a back seat cover, because accidents happen.
https://goo.gl/J1VILx
jl
Thnx for Colepetdisaster story. Trying to get back on my diet, and it put me off eating anything for a few hourse.
I presume Cole tried his patented naked mopping approach before taking deshitted car to the pros? Pix?
jl
@Baud: ‘Dog’, not ‘dip’
Iowa Old Lady
Walter looks really good. His coat looks soft and he’s no longer painfully thin. I hope he travels well.
RoonieRoo
I apologize for laughing as hard as I did at Walter taking a dump in the car. Sorry. I feel you pain but it’s still funny.
MomSense
Tears of joy for Walter’s transformation. Many years ago I had a kid do that plus projectile vomit in my car. it was a nightmare to clean.
jl
@Iowa Old Lady: pix of the new Walter are heartwarming. Looks healthy enough to do some real healthy happy doggie damage now, which I guess Cole just verified.
jl
@MomSense: It is heartwarming to see the new Walter.
PhoenixRising
Oh, Walter. I’m not laughing at you, Cole, I’m laughing with you.
Our 75lb retriever style dog crapped a tiny bit while throwing up deer guts into the vents of a ’93 Ford. Vinyl bench seat but it dripped/slid into the crack and onto that felt that holds your tire jack.
Spoiler: A guy with allergies paid me money to get the keys and title to that truck. Because it was low miles for the year, due to the fact that no one had wanted to ride in it after The Unfortunate Incident of ’97.
TaMara (HFG)
24 lbs in 17 days, that’s amazing. He looks so good.
Too late for Walter – but for future reference, this keeps my backseat clean, even with the Beast’s big muddy feet.
Major Major Major Major
This fits the model.
rikyrah
Awe.
Sorry about the car.
But. You are still good people Cole.
Felonius Monk
Well, Cole, Walter was just making sure you would never forget him after he leaves on Saturday. You will think of him every time you drive your car. Eau de Walter.
Mike J
@lamh36:
Obviously Trump is very, very ill. Not even snark. Traditional Republican way is to make up a lie to attack opponent on your own weakness.
Digital Amish
Walter is looking good! Despite your checkered past, you’re a good man Mr. Cole. If after Walter departs for his new home and you miss him (and you will) , as Bogart said to Ingrid Bergman in Casablanca — you’ll always have the backseat.
Soprano2
I have a cat who almost always shits in the cat carrier when I take her to the vet. Not as bad, but bad enough.
geg6
LOLOLOLOL! Fucking Cole, you always deliver.
NBC has a summer reality show debuting tomorrow with William Shatner, Henry Winkler, Terry Bradshaw and George Foreman. They don’t really know each other, except Winkler and Shatner who apparently were acquaintances due to having filmed at the same studio in the past. And they send them on a trip around Asia. Might be pretty funny, considering the personalities involved. But the networks could make a more entertaining reality show about you, your animals and all your misadventures. I’d certainly watch, probably set my DVR for it.
Walter looks fabulous. You did good, John.
Iowa Old Lady
@Mike J: Oh wow. You’re probably right. We should always consider projection first.
Mai.naem.mobile
Seat covers are your friend,Cole. Walter looks like a pretty pretty boy. I know this is human thinking but is it a good idea to send Walter away so soon? Will he have abandonment issues,?
JPL
Finch rolled in something besides dog poop, a few years back while visiting my brother in the mountains of GA. My daughter-in-law thought it was bear poop. I’m not sure how you recognize the different smells, but whatever. I bathed him, before we got in the car to return home, and once again at home. The next day he went to the groomer. Some smells you just can’t get rid of.
@Mike J: Nevada is close so that one surprises me. Maybe his polls are telling him that his visit would hurt the down ballot.
SiubhanDuinne
I am thrilled to see Walter. He looks fantastic. Just showed the picture to Ryan (young man who contributed on Day One) and I can’t describe how elated he is that Walter’s story has a happy ending!
John, in all the Walter rehab and transport news the past 2-1/2 weeks, you haven’t really said anything about your new house, nor about your own injuries from that fall through the back deck flooring. Are you well-recovered, and have you had a chance to spend much time at the house yet? What all needs doing there? When you can, please bring us up to date.
ihop
this is the best/most apropo post this wonderful site has ever had.
Frankensteinbeck
@ihop:
Apropoo?
MomSense
@jl:
Just showed my mom and she started crying, too.
raven
@JPL: catchup
JPL
@raven: We use to use tomato sauce on my pets that were sprayed by skunks, and it never dawned on me that it could be used for all odors. Thanks!
Mike J
@JPL:
Why would you think Trump would care about anyone but Trump?
Bobby Thomson
Baby wipes. Not only are they specifically designed for this task, they have a way of getting into the crevices of plastic and leather upholstery, which is why Armor All uses wipes now.
Mnemosyne
Aww, he’s getting to be such a handsome boy. I can’t wait until he meets his new sister at debit’s place — I hope they get along!
karen marie
Poor Walter is going to be in for a shock when the extra calories go away because he’s gained enough weight. With joint issues, it’s important that he not go overboard with his weight. Congratulations, John – Walter left you something to remember him by.
Robert Sneddon
@JPL: Lady Dog found a well-rotted dead sheep in the swamp once and decided to tell us all about it by rolling in it and then coming back home. We used the pressure washer with soaper attachment at ten paces on her. It should have been twenty paces or even thirty, upwind.
She was always a good car traveller though, never sick, never pooped when she shouldn’t. Best dog I ever knew.
JPL
@Bobby Thomson: I use baby wipes on my tire rims, and have for a long time. I had them around one time for use on the dog, and tried them on very dirty rims. They work great!
Trollhattan
@jl:
Just no.
God I love that pic. Only missing element is the boy on the left with his pet chicken.
CaseyL
Only you, John. This shit could only happen to you, and FSM bless you for it.
Walter looks amazing. And so proud of himself! “Didja see what I did in that car? 2 weeks ago I could barely squeeze out a poo, now I can do great glorious piles of poo! … It’s a gift, I tells ya. And I hope John-Daddy appreciates it!”
I hope debit will keep us updated when Walter gets there, or a lot of people will experience withdrawal.
JPL
@CaseyL: Debit is out shopping for covers for her seats as we type. lol
enplaned
@JPL: Pretty confident that whatever was driving the decision not to go to Nevada had nothing to do with the downballot because Trump only cares about Trump.
WaterGirl
Holy fuck, Cole! Eating enough to gain a pound a day makes for a lot of poop. I know Walter will have a great life with debit, but I am tearing up at the thought of Walter leaving you. He must adore you beyond all measure.
Old Dan and Little Anne
IT STILL SMELLS! -Seinfeld
You the man, JC.
JPL
I just saw on twitter, that Trump said Those ads are absolutely phony w/ the exception of certain little parts
Is anyone watching, because I want details on those little parts.
Schlemazel
@geg6:
It reminded me of “Idiot Abroad” without the asshole tormenting the idiot. No thanks.
WaterGirl
Attn: Cole and debit
When my dog had arthritis rimadyl only helped his so much. Then we have him adequan – 8 injections, 2 per week for 4 weeks. Oh my god, new dog appeared somewhere between injections 4 and 5. It wasn’t cheap but it was SO worth it.
BruceJ
Just be careful with the feeding. When we got our latest rescue, Delilah, she was a full grown GSD that was down to 55 lbs; not as bad a Walter but close. Over the course of a month or so we got her back up to her proper weight, and then of course she kept going and ended up at 85. Taking it back off for dogs is about as hard as it is for humans, but we’ve gotten her back town to 75 which is about where she should be.
Frankensteinbeck
@Mnemosyne:
Oh, good, you’re in this thread. You said something about a Los Angeles writers’ meeting. Can I get more information? The only one I can find is Shut Up And Write!, and I don’t need that. I was looking for something more social-with-other-writers.
Seanly
Sorry about the car. If anything can handle it, though, a Subaru can! You still have a Subaru, right? Forwarded the post to my non-blog reading, but dog-loving wife.
Schlemazel
You Cole are still a mench, it is a pleasure to say I know you even if only by this blog.
As a guy who has had a lot of shitty things happen in his life I have to say you are trying hard to keep up in your own fashion, glad you can keep your sense of humor about it.
WaterGirl
@JPL: Debit should make a Walter wishlist on amazon and post the link here.
Mnemosyne
@Frankensteinbeck:
It’s the local chapter of Romance Writers of America (LARA — Los Angeles Romance Authors), but I think that as long as you pay the dues, they aren’t super picky. The membership is majority published writers, which is unusual but really nice.
ETA: There seems to be a fair amount of crossover between romance and YA, FWIW. Several authors in the group write both.
SiubhanDuinne
@WaterGirl:
And rightly so. But he will learn very quickly to adore debit beyond all measure, and then he’ll have two people to adore, and he can put the asshole original person right out of his memory.
Speaking of which, John, has anything happened yet in terms of finding or confronting or suing or arresting Walter’s previous owner? The first surge of anger may have subsided, but that man needs to learn good and hard that nobody treats an animal that way in Bethany, WV and gets away with it — not as long as John G. Cole lives there, and not as long as there are hundreds of riled-up Juicers to back him up.
Trollhattan
It’s been seventy years since The New Yorker published Hersey’s “Hiroshima” and still the only issue comprising a single article. What I didn’t know was the BBC broadcast full readings of it because newsprint was still rationed and it was impractical to publish it in full.
J R in WV
@JPL:
Environmental scientists have found that a mix of hydrogen peroxide and Arm & Hammer baking soda will cut smells, scientifically dismantling the molecules that smell bad. First discovered by a scientist who picked up a dead road-kill skunk, put it inside multiple plastic garbage bags, and still disgusted his trunk.
They were working on sulfur-based contaminants. Turns out most bad smells are based on sulfur compounds, and the H2O2 and Baking Soda dismantle those molecules pretty well. Add some Dawn and water, wash the skunky dog down a couple of times, all better.
Not sure how it would work for fecal contamination…
John, I second the doggy back seat waterproof seat cover… we have the hammock style. It also makes a great kneeling tarp for tire changing, even if it’s really muddy, being “water-proof” or similar liquids proof.
Let us know how you get the back seat cleaned up. Hope it comes out OK! We all may need to know how to get that done right. Google may help, but I’m not going there.
So glad Walter has gained so much weight! And we all hope the move works out well – Wisconsin? right?
JPL
@WaterGirl: I love that idea! Walter can have his own welcome home baby boy shower!
Roger Moore
@enplaned:
I kind of wonder why Trump is doing so well in Nevada. You’d think Nevadans of all people would despise somebody so incompetent he could bankrupt a casino.
Pogonip
Cole, old newspapers are your friend.
Well, if Debit wasn’t aware that Walter isn’t housebroken, she is now!
SiubhanDuinne
@J R in WV:
I was thinking Minnesota, but could easily be wrong. One of the Great Lakes states, though, I’m pretty sure.
Frankensteinbeck
@Mnemosyne:
Ha! Maybe I’ll claim that Sweet Dreams Are Made of Teeth is a romance. It… is, actually, except the main character has no human concept of sex.
Shana
@Roger Moore: Lotta Mormons in Nevada too.
Pogonip
@Frankensteinbeck: hee hee hee hee hee hee.
Elmo
When we picked up our GSD puppy many years ago, we got stuck in downtown San Francisco traffic at 5pm the Friday before a holiday weekend. The pup started whining, but there was literally noplace I could go and nothing I could do. We didn’t have a crate for her either.
So when she hopped into the far back cargo area of my ancient Cherokee, I feared the worst. Seconds later, the smell confirmed it.
It was only then that I remembered leaving my prized suede coat back there because the day had turned warm.
lamh36
OT: Sister is heading into a Labor and Delivery room now…baby Layla is almost here
Told sister and her husband, time to breathe
Baud
@lamh36: Best of luck to sis and Layla.
WaterGirl
@JPL: I would go to that shower more readily than the ones with all the diaper games. We could have a shower thread!
“I’m getting the seat protector at #5.”
“I’ll get the ear cleaner listed at #12!”
“Already ordered the nail clippers at #10, hope nobody else ordered those.”
Mnemosyne
@Frankensteinbeck:
They seem to be a fairly open group. They might not let you be a voting member, but the fact that you’re already a published author would be a big point in your favor.
There was another writer’s group that was at the Festival of Books, but I can’t remember the name. I’ll see if I still have the flyer when I get home.
ETA: Hang on, found it on the FOB website. GLAWS — Greater Los Angeles Writer’s Society.
ruemara
1. Cool, disgusting story, bro.
2. I got offered the job I interviewed for. They asked me to think about what salary I want and when I want to start. I’m checking for Alan Funt hiding behind a potted plant.
the Conster, la Citoyenne
Yay, Walter!! Yes, John – having creatures that you foster or parent subjects you to the most disgusting smells, stains, fluids, etc.. That’s what life really is at the end of the day – cleaning up after bodily fluids, out of love and respect for life in all its manifestations, and for our loved ones who deserve respect for enduring. You will probably never have a human ward, but the trade off is that what you do is to make the world better by restoring dignity to creatures whose lives were devalued . Many Blessings. Your devotion to taking care of these creatures have bestowed upon you great merit. You will never want for reciprocation.
Frankensteinbeck
@Mnemosyne:
You are a princess. I think you’re female. Really, I’m declaring you a princess no matter what your gender. I hope you like tiaras.
the Conster, la Citoyenne
@ruemara:
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! Such great news!!!
WaterGirl
@ruemara: That’s so awesome, ruemara! Did this turn out to be a job you want?
lamh36
@ruemara: Awesome!!!
Congratulations on a good interview!
Baud
@ruemara: Congrats!
SiubhanDuinne
@ruemara:
Oh, that is WONDERFUL! Congratulations to you!
Baud
@WaterGirl: I read your letter to your friend in the earlier thread. I was moved.
ruemara
@WaterGirl: more of a, “leave before it burns down“ thing. It’s a fascinating place, but if ILM calls me back to do production coordination, I’d drop it in a heartbeat. /honest
Iowa Old Lady
@ruemara: Yay!
Also re moving Walter. Do you read Hyperbole and a Half? Here’s her account of moving her two dogs across the country.
Sab
I have an incontinent 14 year old mostly lab who only poops in the house or car, never on walks. I got her a doggie hammock that hangs from the front and back headrests over the back seat. Every couple of days I take it out and hose it down. Works like a charm for protecting the back seat, and also keeps the old girl from falling off the seat onto the floor if I brake suddenly.
Mnemosyne
@ruemara:
Whoo-hoo! Whatever salary you *think* you want, inflate it by at least 10 percent. Women have a bad habit of asking for salaries at the bottom of their range when they should be starting at the top and letting the prospective employer negotiate down.
Patricia Kayden
@Digital Amish: I want to hear more about John’s checkered past.
Walter looks gorgeous and healthy. Good job, John. Your story is why I have a cover for my backseat for the two doggies. I’d roll up and die if they took a dump on the leather. **shudders**
Mnemosyne
@Frankensteinbeck:
You’re welcome! I make no promises about GLAWS, except to say that they exist and appear to be legitimate.
Zanamu
1996, driving Brownies from grand island, NE to Fremont. One first grader announced she was sick, & before I could pull over there were 4 little girls barfing in my Camry. Last hour home was awesome.
WaterGirl
@ruemara: ILM?
the Conster, la Citoyenne
@Zanamu:
LOL.
ETA: That picture of George Clooney from Siriana walking away from the car bomb comes to mind.
SiubhanDuinne
@Patricia Kayden:
Montalban’d that for ya.
Baud
@the Conster, la Citoyenne: Heh.
JPL
@Zanamu: My son got car sick often. When my ex would travel, he would take the puke bags from planes. While volunteering in the school clinic, one child couldn’t reach his parents to pick him up. He was so concerned about getting on the bus to go home. I said I have magic bags in my car, and I’ll give you one. No one will be the wiser. (okay I lied, but that Delta bag made him feel better)
Airline puke bags are your friend.
SiubhanDuinne
@lamh36:
Such an exciting time!
WaterGirl
@Baud: Thank you. I still haven’t heard back from him since he said he no longer wants to talk politics, so apparently he wasn’t moved in a positive way!
Gelfling 545
Poor boy’s digestive system is probably still a bit wobbly.
Baud
@WaterGirl: I could not have been so …. reasonable.
WaterGirl
@Mnemosyne: @ruemara: I agree that you shouldn’t ask for a salary that you wouldn’t be thrilled to make. You could try something that has worked for me.
XX is I what I feel I’m worth. That’s the salary I would like.
I would feel okay about making YY.
ZZ is the least amount I could feel good about.
One job offered me $500 more than my XX figure, and I took that as a good sign. Being offered ZZ would also be informative, though.
Shana
@WaterGirl: I’m guessing Industrial Light and Magic, George Lucas’ company formed to do the effects for the original Star Wars movie.
Ryan
“but I’m not going to post them because I don’t want the website turning into Dogshit Afficionado.”
I have to say, not being a dog persn, how much I enjoy these posts. I crack up every time when I read about these adventures.
satby
@ruemara: CONGRATS!! Well done you!
Emma
@ruemara: Ask for top of the bracket. Let them negotiate you to 10% more than you’re making now.
ETA: I see some others are on the same wavelength.
WaterGirl
@Baud: Well, it was heartfelt, which was the best i could do. Better, I thought, than “this is a binary choice now, how the hell can you not know what to do?”
MomSense
@ruemara:
Yes!!! So happy for you.
The Lodger
@ruemara: Congrats on the job! It may not be the one you want for the rest of your life, but it looks like they’re willing to offer terms you can accept for the time being.
WaterGirl
@Emma: I’m not sure she’s thrilled with what she is making right now, so I hope she asks for a ton more than that. 10% more than underpaid and undervalued is still too damn low. ;-)
tokyo expat
@Mnemosyne: I’m in the RWASD chapter and Outreach. I attended LARA years ago as a guest when the folks lived in the Valley. They have some good speakers and RWA is really great for networking. I also belong to Outreach International RWA chapter, which has fabulous online classes each month and virtual meetings every month. At the last virtual meeting we had crime writer John Fitzjohn speak on scene and sequel.
@Frankensteinbeck: The San Diego chapter has a couple of men in it, so I wouldn’t worry about that. The national organization does make you prove that you are writing romance to be a voting member. Otherwise, you can be an associate member w/o voting rights. Local chapter meetings usually meet once a month and they really are great for networking, finding critique partners and talking about the publishing industry, both for self-publishing and traditional publishing. Best of luck!
I just got a contract for my romantic suspense from a small indie publisher! I’m doing the happy dance. Now to figure out how to market the book when it comes out, so that it sells some copies. I’m not very comfortable with social media, blogging, etc that is a necessary part of the promotion routine nowadays.
geg6
@ruemara:
That’s great news! Congratulations!
CaseyL
@ruemara: Yay! Congrats! (does a happy dance for ruemara)
I’ve lost track, a little, of your ongoing employment misadventures – IIRC, you got away from one psycho boss only to land somewhere where you did 3 persons’ worth of work for lousy pay, but at least your coworkers weren’t awful. And then there were budget cuts…? All this in, what, the past 2 years?
So I’m incredibly happy for you to be offered a position that will pay what you’re worth and not be a hellhole to work in.
raven
@ruemara: ding!
WaterGirl
it may seem like the world is going to hell all around us, but good things are happening for good folks here at BJ. Happy day.
daverave
The wife and I are two weeks away from our driving trip across country (via Ontario so we can see what freedom really looks like) to NJ for a niece’s wedding, my 40th college reunion, and various and sundry relative visits all over the northeast. After that a quick (!) jaunt to Daytona to see the 91 y.o. mother-in-law and a return to CA via the Bible Belt, Texas, NM and AZ. I’m allowing 6-8 weeks minimum for the adventure, returning in time for the epic election ejaculation.
We’ll be in our new pop-up camper the whole way with Buddy, our 15 y.o. tabby that requires constant attention from his Authorities. We’ve taken him on several weeks-long trips over the last six months including to the Mojave Desert, the wilds of central Nevada, the Eastern Sierra, and shorter stuff in between. This weekend, for additional practice, we’re taking him on his first trip to the Pacific Ocean along the Sonoma and Mendocino coast. We’re curious as to his reaction to waves ;-)
Older cats do not seem to be ideal traveling companions but, at his age, there’s no way we are putting him in a kennel or having Others take care of him. He typically has extreme anxiety for the first day of any trip which results in a pee/puke/crap session in his cage in the backseat within the first hour or two of leaving home. We have protection for those events. After that he settles in to our routines. He loves being in the camper at any time. Should be fun! I should start a blog about the journey ;-)
Mnemosyne
@tokyo expat:
As far as I can tell, LARA has two (2) men, and one of them just moved up here from SD. I really like that it’s so focused on publication and published authors — I’ve been in a lot of writers groups with unpublished authors where everyone just ends up bitter and angry because no one can figure out where to sell their stuff.
And if I may brag for a moment, TESSA DARE WAS OUR SPEAKER YESTERDAY. (She lives in OC and I think she’s a member of the chapter there.)
debit
Oh, John! I am so sorry. I’ve had the dog poop in the car experience and it’s not awesome. Thanks for sending some of his food; I don’t want to change his diet suddenly. And yes, I’m currently collecting new things for Walter (beds, toys, treats, etc.)
Baud
@WaterGirl:
Cole’s car seat would disagree.
WaterGirl
@Baud: Point taken! But Cole got his house and he saved a life and Walter got a life and love, so I’ll still count things as good (though stinky!) in WV.
Frankensteinbeck
@Mnemosyne:
I don’t want to vote or need help publishing. I am already in that rare, super-lucky situation where I support myself on my royalties, and have an official publisher. I just want to meet and talk to other authors as a social thing! Although the readings and critiques in my last writer’s group were fun.
Iowa Old Lady
Trump as quoted in The Hill a short time ago:
Enzymer
Great picture of the school bus etc. The calf appears to be a Jersey heifer (girl for city folk). Could be a Guernsey, but they are usually bigger. Definitely female…
John you could add a cousin to that pretty little girl. Jerseys are known for being docile,affectionate & having very high butterfat milk. The neighbors had a Jersey dairy, growing up, the cream solidified in the frig. God was it good.
? Martin
John, your photography is getting much better. That hero photo is wonderful.
Other than the rampant government regulation visible in the photo, that’s what every conservative dreams that America looks like (even though almost none of it does).
SiubhanDuinne
@daverave:
Oh, please do blog about this epic journey! Or at the very least, provide regular updates on BJ. Maybe, if you don’t feel like setting up your own blog, you could just email your writings to Anne Laurie or Betty Cracker and they could devote dedicated threads to them.
Baud
@Iowa Old Lady:
Why should I care what a guy who is too afraid to release his tax returns has to say?
Iowa Old Lady
@Baud: You’re probably a criminal.
Mnemosyne
@Frankensteinbeck:
Every other month, LARA has a published authors chat where you get to sit around, drink coffee, and trade tips. I accidentally crashed it at my first meeting, but they were nice about it.
ihop
@Frankensteinbeck:
appropoo?
sorry, i been drinkin’
tokyo expat
@Mnemosyne: Way cool on Tessa Dare! Seriously, LARA gets some great speakers. You’re also right about the writing community in these chapters. I find romance writers to be really generous about helping one another, whether the beginning writer or the professional who wants to talk marketing options, etc. .
debit
@Pogonip: I don’t think John has said anything about accidents in the house, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there have been. It takes a lot for a dog to overcome its aversion to soiling the nest, but Walter had no choice when he was abandoned. He’s also an old guy. I’m not worried about it. Dog’s gonna do what a dog needs to do.
Baud
@Iowa Old Lady:
Now watch what you say or they’ll be calling you a radical,
Liberal, fanatical, criminal.
Won’t you sign up your name, we’d like to feel you’re
Acceptable, respectable, presentable, a vegetable!
Mnemosyne
@tokyo expat:
I got an autograph from her at the Festival of Books and she encouraged me to join LARA if I wanted to write a novel, so I made a point of telling her that after she spoke. She seemed to like it.
Ceci n'est pas mon nym
Of the many endearing things about Cole, one of the most endearing is that despite a lifetime of being around cats and dogs, he doesn’t seem to have gotten at all used to dealing with the various bodily indiscretions they leave around the house. I remember a post where he practically did a complete biohazard cleanup after stepping in cat puke one night.
If you were a Dad to humans, Cole, I suspect you wouldn’t be the type who picks the baby up to give the diaper a sniff.
Feathers
@ruemara: Congrats – I’m about to be looking soon. Glad to hear good news.
Cole – Never had poop, but had a Chevy Malibu station wagon that was never the same after a gallon of milk emptied itself into the backseat. In Virginia. It really wasn’t drivable except for the dead of winter without AC blasting.
Villago Delenda Est
@Mike J: He seems to think that the President can operate by decree. If only that were so, Obama would have already gotten so much done, such as FEMA camps for Rinse Shortbus types.
Aleta
@ruemara: fantastic
SiubhanDuinne
@Iowa Old Lady:
I adore(d) H+1/2. The parenthetical past tense is because AFAIK Allie hasn’t posted anything since 2013. She has had such terrible and valiant struggles with really wicked bouts of depression. I hope she’s okay and getting whatever support is best for her.
I think the first thing of hers I ever read was the traveling with dogs episode. Had me shrieking with laughter.
Villago Delenda Est
@Iowa Old Lady: Oh, good grief. Full scale Alex Jones.
If Clinton were 1/10th as ruthless as Drumpf thinks she is, he’d already be six feet under.
Elmo
@ruemara: Have you done your salary.com research? Do that. Make sure to couch your salary ask in terms of value to the organization, and not your needs. And – this is important – ask for at least 20% more than you want.
muddy
@Sab: I second the dog hammock. I got this one and I love it. As you say it both makes for easy cleaning and keeps dogs and items from falling on the floor. Maybe Walter should have one for his travels, change it from car to car as he goes?
JPL
@debit: lol.. So does that mean we can have a welcome home baby dog shower for Walter. You could ask John to put stuff on his list.. Knowing us, the list might be small, unless you have a very large storage shed.
J R in WV
@ruemara:
Yay! Good for you, congratulations. You must have gone in feeling confident, and showed it !!
I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet
@ruemara: Yay you!! Congratulations! I hope the negotiations go well.
Cheers,
Scott.
J R in WV
@Iowa Old Lady:
Well, that only shows how pig-ignorant Trump is. There haven’t been special prosecutors since that rat-bastard Ken Starr who spent 50 million dollars to bust Bill Clinton for the B-J with Monica…
Recently fired from Presidency of Baylor University… for his inability to control sexual abuse at the school.
But after the impeachment fiasco, the Special Prosecutor law expired.
Baud
@J R in WV: Independent counsel law expired. They still have special prosecutors.
Gravenstone
@TaMara (HFG):
Amazing, yes. But also appalling and infuriating that he had been left to wast away to such an extent (still almost 15 pounds from goal). The former “owner” needs the Cask of Amontillado treatment to learn how it feels.
divF
@ruemara: Hurray !
divF
@lamh36: Looking forward to the traditional newborn pix.
“I didn’t realize babies come with hats”.
Macbethchick
@JPL @zanamu
My niece is a world-class barf queen. We always save our empty Pringles cans for trips to the beach. She barfs in the cans and then puts the lids back on. Having the lids helps with the smell. Her parents trained her to do this when she was just four or five, and at 18 she still uses the technique.
Macbethchick
@Macbethchick: lids!!
SiubhanDuinne
@divF:
West Wing Toby quote for the win!
Iowa Old Lady
@divF: Toby Ziegler
I recently watched some old clips from this show on YouTube. Enjoyed myself mightily.
Brachiator
@Villago Delenda Est:
Wasn’t this the rapidly against Obama, both by mainstream Republicans and the conservative lunatic fringe? That Obama was a dictator who ignored the Constitution and the Congress, and who ruled by decree.
Once again, what Obama does is bad (even though he never really did this), but it would be a bold stroke that might save the nation, if Trump did it.
Gravenstone
@J R in WV:
Base (the baking soda in this case) causes hydrogen peroxide to dissociate to give water and oxygen. The oxygen reacts with the sulfur to form water soluble (and much less aromatic) sulfur oxides. Adding the Dawn (a surfactant) helps makes the reaction work better by improving the mixing between the organic and aqueous components.
A far more powerful version of the mixture (30% peroxide and sodium hydroxide (lye)) can be used to break down dye stuffs. Definitely not recommended outside of a chemical lab with proper ventilation and protective equipment.
Mary G
@ruemara: Congratulations! Crossing my fingers that there are no psychopaths in your circle there, you are overdue for some sane colleagues. I don’t anybody who’s gotten a job so fast without multiple interviews in the past few years; they must really, really like you.
John, I hope you don’t mind, but I did a quick and dirty Photoshop of Walter in Two Acts and put it on my Flickr. I was in a self-pitying mood because my angiogram had to be delayed a week. Seeing him before and after broke me right out of it. What a mood elevator. The entire family, including calf, greeting their son off the bus was great too.
schrodinger's cat
@ruemara: Congratulations!
divF
@SiubhanDuinne:
@Iowa Old Lady:
One of my favorite scenes from any TV show.
Iowa Old Lady
@divF: awwww!
japa21
@raven: Wanted to wish you the best for tomorrow. It is tomorrow isn’t it?
Gvg
I have found the seat covers for hunters to be the toughest, waterproof cheapest for dog cover. Try Walmart hunting section. Car places charge more for less effective cutesy stuff. Baby seat covers are over priced and dinky. Think they think parents are suckers.
raven
@japa21: Aw, thanks. Yea, 10:15 arrival.
Miss Bianca
@Frankensteinbeck: Now you and Mnem are making me want to come out to LA and do a writer’s group just with *you guys*. THat would be so cool! We might even get something done!
FB, am confused. I thought you lived in KY? Are you relocating, relocated, or just on leave?
And will no one else gush about how awesome it is that some of JC’s neighbors brought their BABY COW with them to the school bus stop? I could almost see that happening out here in rural CO – we take our livestock relationships seriously, damn it!
Lefty Kitty follows me like a puppy up the stairs to the office now that she and Pancho have been cleared for Store Action. How cool is *that*?
Patricia Kayden
@ruemara: Congrats!! That’s great news.
Miss Bianca
@SiubhanDuinne: “I have my Internet posse at my back, man, and we will HUNT YOU DOOOOWWN!”
Or something like that.
Miss Bianca
@Roger Moore:
If I were HRC, I would SOOOO be running that as my ad campaign right now…
Miss Bianca
Oh, hell and damnation, I quoted the wrong c-word with regard to Roger’s remark about Nevada, and now I’m stuck in moderation. Help, please, PTB?
Aleta
@raven: If I recall you have a Dr. with great recommendations, so I’ll trust in the healing powers of the dr and staff tomorrow. Wishing you speedy recovery and a return home to much tail wagging.
Miss Bianca
@ruemara: Damn, that is awesome! Congratulations!
Miss Bianca
@Iowa Old Lady: that’s the first story of Allie’s I ever read, and I remember sitting at my desk at work with the lights off literally (yes, literally!) shaking with laughter the first time I read it on line. I bought the book and it still makes me laugh when I read it.
Aleta
@Mary G: That’s a joy to look at. It’s good for me to be reminded of how well the body heals itself. And the healing power of love. Beautiful; thanks.
Miss Bianca
@tokyo expat: congrats to you as well!
Pogonip
@ruemara: Congrats!
Miss Bianca
@SiubhanDuinne: She’s supposed to be working on a new book, but they’ve already pushed the deadline back once…
John Cole
@Mary G: How do I download it?
SiubhanDuinne
@divF:
Yes indeed. And absolutely brilliant writing to put it up against the unfolding potential tragedy of Zoey.
SiubhanDuinne
@John Cole:
Couldn’t you just save the photo to your own album and then upload it in the usual way?
p.a.
John, what’s going on with the new home?
Miss Bianca
@Mary G: My God, he *really* looks like a different dog!
SiubhanDuinne
@Miss Bianca:
Whenever it appears will make me happy. Present BJ company excepted, I most love Hyperbole and A Half, and The Bloggess.
pat
I only transport cats and I haven’t had time to read the thread, but for pete’s sake couldn’t this dog be riding in a huuuuuge carrier? He might feel safer, more comfortable, and if he has a mishap it would be easier to clean up.
J R in WV
@pat:
He will be riding in a crate from Bethany to his forever home. It shouldn’t be too long a trip, I think Google maps said 12 hours or so. They are professional pet transport, so should have the routine down.
Sab
@Sa tipped!b: Wow! I”m normally a lurker because every time I comment it kills the thread but I do know a lot about multi-animal households (currently 3 dogs and 4 cats-all rescues-living peaceably under one roof)
Theodore Wirth
God bless you John Cole.
Omnes Omnibus
This story makes me happy that Cole and Debit decided on a transport service. Madison to La Crosse or Eau Claire would have been a logical penultimate leg. A tank of gas and some time would have been no big deal, but a backseat full of dogshit? No thanks.
chopper
see this is why i got a honda element, and why i still have a honda element.
my dogs have shit in my car so many times, and i just clean it out with a hose. this is what god would drive if he hadn’t got all those DUIs.
seaboogie
@ruemara: Congrats! That asking you about what starting salary you want is such a bs power move. Ask them what they pay based on the position, skills and experience and then find yourself on that scale. If you are not already at the top, make it clear that as you acquire the necessary skills and experience, you expect to be compensated thusly.
Suzanne
Wow. SOMEBODY got fancy-pants all of a sudden.
Suzanne
@lamh36: OOOOOH! Welcome little Layla!!!
pseudonymous in nc
This is where you spend any leftover Walter money from donations, John: to pay for the dogshit valet, plus significant tip. And if you’re short, then ask.
And that’s a great photo up top. Worthy of the calendar, I think.
justawriter
As Cole didn’t require surgery after the incident, I consider this a poor excuse for a Cole anecdote. I’m waiting for Walter to go all Mortal Combat and one day we all log in and all there is “FINISH HIM” in drippy red letters.
(please note, satire … yay Walter, yay Cole … I hope they both have long, ludicrously happy lives)
Prescott Cactus
Dogshit Afficionado dot com is now mine.
I’ll soon be rich ! ! ! Mah hahahahaha ! ! !
justawriter
This anecdote also made me think of this … https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgAYHb6azj8
justawriter
This anecdote made me think of this …
different-church-lady
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand… THAT’S why I’m a cat person…
Mary G
@John Cole: Don’t know, I emailed a couple of versions to you. Loved that you called the first picture whatkindoffuckingmonster.jpg.
Prescott Cactus
@daverave: Sounds like a great ride.
If in Ontario, on a Wednesday consider Yoga on Parliament Hill
See the freedom !
@SiubhanDuinne: Share the trip ! Share the trip !
asiangrrlMN
Cole. You don’t know how happy this makes me. You are a good man, and Walter is a good boy! He can’t help it if he has bowel issues. He looks so happy and his fur is so glossy. I hope he has a smooth trip to MN (here!) on Saturday!
Mel
Walter looks joyful and oh-so-much healthier!!
A couple of thoughts: My great-grandmother always told me that the surest way to know how much goodness is in a person’s soul is to see how they treat pets and small children, especially when said pets or small children are fussy or ill. Absolutely true! Knew my hubby was “the one” on the second date, when my foster kitten got sick and he not only cancelled dinner plans and spent the entire night in the Emergency Vet’s office with me, but didn’t even bat an eye when kitty sprayed hot liquid feces all over his suit. We (and cats!) just celebrated our 20th last week.
Cole, you pass the Nannan test with flying colors. Which brings me to the next thought: it sounds like Monica passes the Nannan test as well. John, you have had a couple of years filled with acts of kindness and acts of courage. Deciding on sobriety. Expanding your family by welcoming Christion and other youngsters in need of a safe, stable base into your heart and your home. Expanding that home base by taking the frightening, thrilling leap into home buying. Contemplating fostering.
If Monica is single and you find her fun to be around, maybe ask her out for lunch or a cup of coffee. Life is short – get out there and find yourself a fabulous crazy cat and dog person with whom to smell the roses (and scrape up the pet shit!).
Barb2
@daverave:
Please do start a blog – traveling with senior cat. Posts lots of photos and videos.
My cat has traveled – several round trips Seattle to Miami. Yes he is always sick the first day, as you described your senior cat’s awful first day on the road.
Cats can adapt and it would have been nice years ago to have access to a blog about traveling with a cat. I’m still learning. We pull a trailer and cat insist on riding back there. He likes the idea that where ever we go – home is always there.
Life with a cat is never boring.
Big Jim Slade
That was so sweet – Walter was leaving you a goodbye/thank you present!!!!!!!!
Miss Bianca
@Omnes Omnibus: Oh, ye of insufficient devotion to the cause!
(actually, from years of dogs trashing my car, I can sympathize. Rule # whatevs for my next, carefully-lived life: don’t combine New(ish) Car with (Brand) New Puppy. Bad idea. Baaad idea…
HeartlandLiberal
So, do they not have plastic drop cloths in West Virginia. I think they have them here in Indiana.
WaterGirl
@HeartlandLiberal: That’s not the problem. The problem is that in WV people don’t have the ability to see the future as you Indiana folks do.
mr_gravity
regarding the school bus photo – William Eggleston would be proud.