Went over this morning about an hour ago and brought some water and more food, carefully navigating the deck so I only stepped on beams, and made it past the scene of the crime without another incident. Beneath all the hair loss and the hideous hip bones poking out, he’s such a sweet and good natured dog with deeply soulful eyes and a mature grey beard. He’s good people. I wonder how he behaves around cats.
At any rate, I called the vet, and I didn’t want to take him during the day when other clients would be there, because I really don’t know anything about the dog and whether he is carrying any infections or diseases and I would hate to get someone else’s little buddy sick, so they agreed to let me bring him in this afternoon at about four.
I still don’t know his name and am trying to come up with one that fits. I was thinking LZ as short for Lazarus, but that would imply I am Jesus and that is too pretentious.
I’m feeling fine, a little sore and bruised but I will make it.
Kari Q
You’re good people, John. Thank you for taking care of this dog. Wish there were more like you around.
Immanentize
Poor abandoned pup. “Shane” might work as a reverse abandon name.
But the jerk who left the dog to die — the police should arrest that mofo if only for the hassle factor of a cruelty to animals charge. Judges HATE cruelty to animal defendants even if the ultimate statutory punishment is not too severe.
SiubhanDuinne
I’m thinking we all might have a chance to find out.
Betty Cracker
Grey beard…Gandalf? He also came back from the dead! Glad you’re okay and that you’re helping another animal.
Mobil RoonieRoo
I wish I could think of the perfect name but I know you will find it as you get to know him. My heart is broken for this dog. However he is the luckiest because it was you who found him.
RSR
Isn’t LZ also short for Landing Zone? That seems appropriate.
Immanentize
@SiubhanDuinne: I thought that might happen day one.
raven
LZ= Landing Zone.
manyakitty
I think he looks like a Buddy.
Kenneth Kohl
“Reboot”
rikyrah
You are good people, Cole.
Call him Egbert.
pat
LZ sounds too much like Lazy.
I’m sure Cole will find the perfect name.
Lucky just kind of works for me, tho.
jeffreyw
Raffle time! Winner gets to name the poor guy.
the Conster, la Citoyenne
This poor thing has haunted me all day, and the depth of anger and contempt I have for its owner scares me – I could actually beat him to death with my bare hands. I just don’t understand any of it. Good luck John. Apparently your karma in this world is to have this keep happening to you, and you will be repaid. If there’s a fundraiser for bills, count me in.
montanareddog
How about Jon Snow?
Immanentize
@raven: LZ seems fitting:
Cash, of course.
R-Jud
@montanareddog: Beric would work better. Then Cole gets to be Thoros.
gindy51
@Immanentize: Unless they are in New Jersey where they only give a fine and probation for 6 months…. http://www.northjersey.com/news/norwood-woman-ordered-to-pay-1-500-after-dog-found-dead-in-ex-northvale-home-1.1548265
The purebred dog she left to die is generally $2500 to purchase. She did it to piss off her husband who was in jail (which is where she should be if there were justice in the world).
Immanentize
@the Conster, la Citoyenne: ditto
tofubo
DeITeR, diamond in the ruff
SWMBO
Call him Homie. That way when you move him to your current house and then move him back, he’ll be back home again.
Also ask the dog. When we rescued our old girl, she turned and looked every time we used a word starting with P. She wound up being Pixie, Pumpkin, Princess, Pork Chop. She was happy with any of them starting with P.
NotMax
Well, you picked two names of people stranded on an island for the pups, so continuing that theme, how about Crusoe?
kdaug
You’re fine, Cole, Your pain ain’t yet begun (“Teal towels in a sunshine yellow bathroom? Or the coral ones?” Ad nauseam)
I like Betty’s Gandolf. Plenty of opportunities for “You shall not pass!”
raven
@Immanentize: It don’t man nuthin, drive on.
geg6
@Betty Cracker:
That was my exact thought.
@SiubhanDuinne:
Heh. Me, too.
Kristine
I kinda like Gandalf, too. McKellen’s Gandalf did have a very kind look in his eyes.
Paul Wartenberg
You ARE Jesus to this puppy. Offering charity and grace as well as love and food. All the things he needs.
Names for puppies:
Big Beat
Fellah
Dark Guard Of Your Fever Dream
Obamacare
Norton
Flareon
Gilgamesh
Harrison
Jay-Jay
Cray-Cray
Bruce Wayne
Progressive
Joe
sherparick
Glad you are okay and feeling better. Thank you for taking care of “Dog” (which I always thought was a great name for a dog), although I know you can’t help yourself.
tofubo
@Paul Wartenberg:
Just don’t name him Stain
CaseyL
John, you are the goodest of good eggs.
Pup’s name – do you know what, if any, name he had before? If so, make sure his new name sounds NOTHING like it. If the walking pustule who abandoned him even bothered to give him a name, he associates that name with cruelty.
I like Lazarus, but it’s a bit long; he’ll be nicknamed “Laz” pretty fast.
So I thought of Lazarus Long, which leads to Robert Heinlein, which leads to… Bob.
Call him Bob. (Nicknames: Bobby. Boballoo. Bobster. Etc.)
Humboldtblue
Speaking of assholes (in general and not just dog abandoning ones) the asshole who pulled a gun at a peaceful protest in Portland is facing some charges
greennotGreen
I actually like “Cash” for the dog’s name, as in Man in Black. Johnny Cash had been through some shit in his life and came out on the other side, now remembered and honored by almost everyone. This dog could end up the same. But no name until after the vet visit because the news might not be good.
However, just because he’s not barking now doesn’t mean he won’t. He’s probably so weak from hunger he doesn’t have it in him. When you get a “woof”, that’ll mean he’s getting better.
sherparick
@gindy51: I have to worry about her children. She and the Dad both really do seem like perfect Trump voters. https://safeminded.org/abusers/united-states/new-jersey/norwood/animal-abuse/jennifer-caruso/
It is always good to keep in mind that with 320 million people in the country, 99 out of 100 are pretty good, but that still means there ar 3.2 million assholes.
CaseyL
OT: Latest thing on Twitter is a politico story claiming that GOP insiders want Trump to drop out.
Leave it to the ever-wonderful Bill Kristol to ensure that doesn’t happen:
Pogonip
I think if he’s alive now he’ll survive, thanks to St. Cole (the patron saint of atheism and critters down on their luck).
AngelWhine
Methuselah for the old dog.
Gelfling 545
@Betty Cracker:?
Barbara
@gindy51: What kind of psychopath would do that? I get wanting to hurt your ex, oh believe me I do, but to do that by imposing extreme cruelty on an innocent and helpless creature — well, it makes me think her ex was probably the “lesser guilty” party in one way or another. Seriously.
Trentrunner
I thought I couldn’t support Hillary any more strongly. From former CIA chief’s endorsement of HRC in today’s NYT:
(emphasis added)
A-fucking-men.
Immanentize
@raven: I love that song so.
Ten Bears
Karma. Good Karma.
laura
I’m suggesting Uncle Bud.
Poor old, lucky old dog done so very wrong.
Olivia
Mr. Cole, to that dog you are Jesus and fully as real, if not more, than the other one.
JGabriel
Former Deputy and Acting Director of the CIA, Michael J. Morrell, Endorsing Hillary Clinton in the NY Times:
Hillary Clinton: Liberal Blogger.
Technocrat
@Trentrunner:
Well it’s Bill Kristol, so at least one of those statements is wrong.
lizzie
You are a good person. I’m a lurker but I just want to say thank you for rescuing that poor creature. Thinking about him starving, sad, lonely, and scared, broke my heart.
I have a habit of jotting down potential pet names. Here are some I’ve collected:
Ambrose
Wolfgang
Rooster
Tecumseh
Ulysses
Palafox
Aubrey
Rufus
Alonzo
Melvin
Jethro
Peregrine
Cornelius
LeeM
John, check with the vet first. Usually they need to rehydrate (IV if possible) and get electrolytes in balance before food is introduced. If his system doesn’t have sufficient water and electrolytes, he can’t produce the enzymes, bile and other juices to digest the food, and you’ll get even more GI issues. Your vet will know about “refeeding syndrome” if they’ve seen starved dogs before. It breaks your heart not to feed them at first, but they need to go through a restart process.
I’m not a vet, but have been married to one for 23 years, so this is from experience and osmosis.
debit
John, thanks for the update. My offer from the original post still stands. This guy deserves a home for life.
Steeplejack (tablet)
“Lucky” is a good, down-to-earth name. Someone suggested that yesterday. And lucky he is.
Or “Rollie” (pronounced “raw-lee”). That’s a good name.
Whatever you pick, make sure it’s a good “call” name, in case you find yourself having to yell at/for the dog in public.
Elmo
@LeeM: Great point.
TaMara (HFG)
I’m forever grateful for the day I stumbled onto Balloon-Juice. Stuff like this just makes my day.
I was already laying odds for this sweet soul to end up a member of the John Cole family.
Glad you’re doing okay today, John and keeping a good thought on our newest BJ member.
Woodrowfan
I hope he;ll be ok. time to go hug my dogs again….
SiubhanDuinne
@TaMara (HFG):
Happy, happy birthday! I hope your day is great!
Elie
You are doing a blessed thing with the dog and I send you all the kind and wonderful karma from the universe… We see your heart and so does the dog…
Have a wonderful day, John!
p.a.
Gus, Zeke are cool generic dog names.
C.B., for comeback, when he gets better.
Foundling is goofy, but Founder, Foundy. kinda fonder about founder.
MattF
Supposing, for the sake of argument, that you set up a recurring payment to donate to the Trump campaign. And then, continuing in this vein, suppose you change your mind and want to stop the recurring payment. You can’t.
low-tech cyclist
What’s so pretentious about implying you’re this guy?
JGabriel
John Cole @ Top:
If you want something with a similar connotation, wouldn’t Phoenix be the obvious next choice?
TaMara (HFG)
@SiubhanDuinne: Thank you! Unless the day gets away from me, I actually have a celebratory recipe thread to post for tonight.
Pogonip
@Steeplejack (tablet): Yes. You don’t want to be known as the guy who sticks his head out the door and yells “Obamacare! Obamacare!”
p.a.
Just as an fyi, since vet help is readily available for John’s new dog ;-) (gotta fill up those 2,000 sq feet). Issues, treatment for starved dogs.
Shalimar
Don’t forget the tetanus shot. Let’s face it, even if it turns out you didn’t need it now, this won’t be the last time you get cut during renovations. Get it today and you won’t need another one for 5 years.
debit
@JGabriel: Following that vein, Fawkes comes to mind.
NotMax
@JGabriel
“Officer, there’s a strange man running down the street screaming “Pen1s, here Pen1s” at the top of his lungs!”
Cheryl from Maryland
@Betty Cracker: I heart this name so much!
Bill E Pilgrim
You could name him Phoenix, that would just imply that you’re Jimmy Stewart.
Mai.naem.mobile
Puppeh names – BJ for balloon juicer,Diogi for D.O.G, Max
Citizen_X
How about Floorboard?
Capri
I would second Cash. Sounds good on its own, plus the Man in Black reference. Hope your animal control is on the ball, unfortunately there are far too many places in the country that would do nothing to the ex owner.
Barb2
Dog rescue Gobi desert. Dog chooses.
Dogs are very smart.
Cheryl from Maryland
@Bill E Pilgrim: @Bill E Pilgrim: Or Hugh Laurie if one likes the remake.
planetpundit
“Juicer”
I like “Lucky”
SiubhanDuinne
@TaMara (HFG):
I look forward to it :-)
Bill E Pilgrim
@Cheryl from Maryland: There was a remake?
Well, fitting I guess.
Bex
@Betty Cracker: Or how about Albie for Albus Dumbledore who also had a long gray beard?
Mandarama
How about Riley? Because that sweet dog is hopefully headed for the Life of Riley!
MazeDancer
@lizzie:
Excellent list of doggie names. Kind of you to release to the world at large.
While Lazarus is a good name, fortunately, the doggie didn’t die and knock wood won’t. And perhaps a name that doesn’t refer to his miserable past would be better. So that every time his name is called it is not a reminder of the insanity of humans but is about this pup’s good future. (more knocking wood)
Plus, sweet doggie needs to be more himself, or at least not starving, before his name will be clear.
lamh36
Lenny?
Juju
John, I’m glad your injuries are minor. For me, the first day after a fall like that is usually the worst, then it’s sort of a breeze to get through the rest. I hope you have the same experience.
As for names, I like Hector or Otis.
He is a lucky dog and I’m glad you found him in time. Give him a hug for me.
MazeDancer
@lizzie:
Excellent list of doggie names. Kind of you to release to wider world.
While Lazarus is a good name, this sweet doggie, fortunately, did not die. (And knock wood for good health returning). So maybe a name that is not about his past but celebrates his future. (Knock wood some more for future). So that every time he’s called to come have a treat or go on a walk, his name doesn’t remind about the insanity of humans, but is just about him.
Also, he may need a few days to reveal his true personality.
Mathguy
@gindy51: The husband and wife with sound nuts (a machine gun?!). And they reproduced.
skyweaver
Of all the people in the world to find and care for him, I’m glad it was you, John.
Ghost of Joe Liebling's Dog
@Bill E Pilgrim:
Or Jimmy Webb…
Joe’s a good name.
J R in WV
@gindy51:
I clicked through – the picture of the woman makes it clear that she didn’t care about the dog, or the punishment she was facing. Her name is mud, anyone who looks her up on Google will see what a piece of crap she is. Forever.
That’s her real punishment, to be excluded from the human race for the rest of her life. Imagine how her kids feel about that big beautiful loving dog they grew up with being abandoned like that. All else said, she did need some jail time, which would be something she couldn’t talk around. Being gone for 3 months, no hiding that from the family in a cloud of words.
bluefish
Delurking, having posted here in many years, to say that I’ll be thinking of you and the sweet dog this afternoon as you head off to the vet. I can only imagine how happy the dog must have been to see you walk through that door yesterday after a period of extended and criminal neglect. Remarkably lucky little guy. Definitely kizmit.
I’ve had a dog for little over a year now and truly believe that he helped save my life. Among other things, I’ve managed to get and stay off booze in the last several months, have lost quite a bit of weight, and have come to see that self-respect can be the best medicine. Pets offer so much in the way of love and communication. My little guy talks and listens to me in his inimitable way all day long. Waking up every morning to his sweet face still manages to surprise me — that’s how shut off I was.
So … good luck. I think of my buddy as the captain of my heart and health. His name isn’t Captain but it might have been.
Congrats on the house too. Re your unfortunate and painful going through the boards, think of it this way perhaps: You created that hole to allow pent up energies to vamoose the structure. Consider it a purification — and try not to do it again! Take care.
Mike E
@Bill E Pilgrim: Harvey!
jamesjhare
If only every dog in need could meet up with John.
scav
Call him Porch. (ok, it was technically a deck but Porch sounds more like pooch and is just namier).
Culture of Truth
Grey beard? “Dave” for David Letterman
“Dave, Steve. Steve, Dave.”
“Yo.”
Hey.”
“This is my house. But you can stay.”
“Thanks.”
Aleta
@bluefish:
I know what you mean
bluefish
@bluefish: have not posted here in many years — correction
Jack the Second
@NotMax: Hiroo Onoda was the Japanese soldier who held out for 29 years on an island after WWII ended (for everyone else).
PGFan
Poor pooch — so glad you found him!
Aleta
Ghandi or alternative spelling
Kristine
@Barb2: That’s the best story ever. “At the finish line she followed me into the tent and we slept next to each other. That was it then.”
Aleta
No, Abe instead
Mnemosyne
I love the “Gandalf” suggestion, but since all of your other pets have human names, he probably needs one, too. And don’t forget, if he doesn’t fit in with the rest of the pack for some reason, commenter debit was ready to take him on the spot, so you have options once he’s back in good health.
Hify
Bless you, John Cole for being such a kind hearted man. LZ is a fine name, landing zone or Lazarus. Nobody is going to think you’re pretending to be Jesus, especially Jesus Christ, who knows you well.
Lily, Rosie and Thurston already think you are God. Steve, of course………
manyakitty
@bluefish: Beautiful.
satby
@debit: Email John and copy Anne Laurie so that he doesn’t lose your offer in the threads. I hope you and he get matched, for a happy tail ending for you both.
debit
@satby: I will. Just waiting on the prognosis for the poor pup.
Hey, congrats on your new house! Over the last two months I’ve been in a flurry of packing and nervous hysteria (had less than 60 days to find, buy and close on a house) and then moving, so I haven’t done more than scan replies here, but I wanted to let you know that you have all my sympathy for your house drama. So glad you found a great new place and hope your move goes better than mine. :)
satby
@debit: Thanks! Glad you landed on your feet. I expect chaos, so I won’t have to worry about it when it happens?
Kristine
@satby@debit:
In case it got lost in the previous thread, I’m in far NE Illinois and happy to participate in the pup transport relay if it all works out.
Mj_Oregon
John’s old pup is luckier than many, I fear. This appeared in The Oregonian today. The ones rescued look to be mostly tuxedo kitties. I’m still mourning my two boys, Buster and Charley, that I lost three and two years ago respectively. People like this need to be put in very small, very dark and very cold places for the rest of their miserable lives.
Barb2
Let the dog choose the name.
My first Chihuahua came with a name she didn’t like (Birdy). She ignored it. So I tried out many different names and she pretended to be deaf. I made up a silly name – she responded to that name. She choose her name.
satby
@Mj_Oregon: people suck.
Capri
@Barb2: I found my current dog as a a courtesy post on the Facebook page of a local no-kill shelter. She was supposed to be a whippet, and the in the picture posted she could sorta pass as one. Being a lover of sight hounds and in the market for a new pup, I contacted the owner and adopted her. The name she came with was Devo, which is as cliche a name as one can get for a whippet. After seeing her it was immediately apparent that only someone who had never seen a real whippet in their life would think she was one, she’s not even close. So we wanted to find a name that had the vowel sounds of Devo, and came up with Reno. She has always answered to it.
snarkyspice
Thank you so much for being you :) Let us know if we can help financially.