It is Important to Bear Witness: The Victim’s Statement in the Stanford Rape Case

The prosecution of former Stanford University student athlete Brock Turner was mentioned in the comments to several threads yesterday. Mention of it shouldn’t be buried in comments to other threads, it needs to be on every front page of every site that is willing to post it.

Turner received a bizarrely short sentence after being convicted for raping a young woman, referred to as Emily Doe throughout the trial, attending a party at Stanford with her sister, who is a student at Stanford. As rape, sexual assault, and/or sexual harassment cases go, this one was fairly straightforward. There was no he said/she said here between the accuser and the accused. Turner was caught in the act of committing the rape by two men who stopped what they were doing, then stopped him, and kept him on site until the police arrived. Both of those men testified for the prosecution. Turner has failed to admit doing anything wrong other than being intoxicated and blamed his actions on being drunk. He has also blamed the victim’s also being intoxicated for contributing to his rape of her. Since his sentencing both Turner’s father and on of his friends have released letters of support for him that are, frankly tone deaf and also seem to ignore both what Turner did and the severity of the crime for which he’s now been rightfully convicted.

While there is a lot more that can be said about America’s attitudes to women, sex, bodily autonomy, disparities of the application and direction of Law, and how all this contributes to rape and sexual assault, those are topics for another day. Instead it is important to bear witness to the victim’s (survivor’s?) own words in the statement she gave to the Santa Clara Court prior to sentencing and to make sure it is disseminated as widely and broadly as possible. A statement that was seemingly ignored by the judge who presided over this case. Below is the video of CNN’s Ashleigh Banfield reading the victim’s statement, which is even more powerful when read; especially by a woman. For those that can’t make it through the video, I’ve posted the full transcript of the statement below the video and after the page jump as it is 12 pages long. The downloaded pdf of the transcript made available by the Santa Clara District Attorney’s Office can be accessed by clinking on the link just before the video for those that prefer to read it that way.

Victim Impact Statement; Turner Prosecution.

Your honor,

If it is all right, for the majority of this statement I would like to address the defendant directly.

You don’t know me, but you’ve been inside me, and that’s why we’re here today.

On January 17th, 2015, it was a quiet Saturday night at home. My dad made some dinner and I sat at the table with my younger sister who was visiting for the weekend. I was working full time and it was approaching my bed time. I planned to stay at home by myself, watch some TV and read, while she went to a party with her friends. Then, I decided it was my only night with her, I had nothing better to do, so why not, there’s a dumb party ten minutes from my house, I would go, dance weird like a fool, and embarrass my younger sister. On the way there, I joked that undergrad guys would have braces. My sister teased me for wearing a beige cardigan to a frat party like a librarian. I called myself “big mama,” because I knew I’d be the oldest one there. I made silly faces, let my guard down, and drank liquor too fast not factoring in that my tolerance had significantly lowered since college.

The next thing I remember I was in a gurney in a hallway. I had dried blood and bandages on the backs of my hands and elbow. I thought maybe I had fallen and was in an admin office on campus. I was very calm and wondering where my sister was. A deputy explained I had been assaulted. I still remained calm, assured he was speaking to the wrong person. I knew no one at this party. When I was finally allowed to use the restroom, I pulled down the hospital pants they had given me, went to pull down my underwear, and felt nothing. I still remember the feeling of my hands touching my skin and grabbing nothing. I looked down and there was nothing. The thin piece of fabric, the only thing between my vagina and anything else, was missing and everything inside me was silenced. I still don’t have words for that feeling. In order to keep breathing, I thought maybe the policemen used scissors to cut them off for evidence.

Then, I felt pine needles scratching the back of my neck and started pulling them out my hair. I thought maybe, the pine needles had fallen from a tree onto my head. My brain was talking my gut into not collapsing. Because my gut was saying, help me, help me.

I shuffled from room to room with a blanket wrapped around me, pine needles trailing behind me, I left a little pile in every room I sat in. I was asked to sign papers that said “Rape Victim” and I thought something has really happened. My clothes were confiscated and I stood naked while the nurses held a ruler to various abrasions on my body and photographed them. The three of us worked to comb the pine needles out of my hair, six hands to fill one paper bag. To calm me down, they said it’s just the flora and fauna, flora and fauna. I had multiple swabs inserted into my vagina and anus, needles for shots, pills, had a nikon pointed right into my spread legs. I had long, pointed beaks inside me and had my vagina smeared with cold, blue paint to check for abrasions.

After a few hours of this, they let me shower. I stood there examining my body beneath the stream of water and decided, I don’t want my body anymore. I was terrified of it, I didn’t know what had been in it, if it had been contaminated, who had touched it. I wanted to take off my body like a jacket and leave it at the hospital with everything else.

On that morning, all that I was told was that I had been found behind a dumpster, potentially penetrated by a stranger, and that I should get retested for HIV because results don’t always show up immediately. But for now, I should go home and get back to my normal life. Imagine stepping back into the world with only that information. They gave me huge hugs, and then I walked out of the hospital into the parking lot wearing the new sweatshirt and sweatpants they provided me, as they had only allowed me to keep my necklace and shoes.

My sister picked me up, face wet from tears and contorted in anguish. Instinctively and immediately, I wanted to take away her pain. I smiled at her, I told her to look at me, I’m right here, I’m okay, everything’s okay, I’m right here. My hair is washed and clean, they gave me the strangest shampoo, calm down, and look at me. Look at these funny new sweatpants and sweatshirt, I look like a P.E. teacher, let’s go home, let’s eat something. She did not know that beneath my sweats, I had scratches and bandages on my skin, my vagina was sore and had become a strange, dark color from all the prodding, my underwear was missing, and I felt too empty to continue to speak. That I was also afraid, that I was also devastated. That day we drove home and for hours my sister held me.

My boyfriend did not know what happened, but called that day and said, “I was really worried about you last night, you scared me, did you make it home okay?” I was horrified. That’s when I learned I had called him that night in my blackout, left an incomprehensible voicemail, that we had also spoken on the phone, but I was slurring so heavily he was scared for me, that he repeatedly told me to go find my sister. Again, he asked me, “What happened last night? Did you make it home okay?” I said yes, and hung up to cry.

I was not ready to tell my boyfriend or parents that actually, I may have been raped behind a dumpster, but I don’t know by who or when or how. If I told them, I would see the fear on their faces, and mine would multiply by tenfold, so instead I pretended the whole thing wasn’t real.

I tried to push it out of my mind, but it was so heavy I didn’t talk, I didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep, I didn’t interact with anyone. After work, I would drive to a secluded place to scream. I didn’t talk, I didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep, I didn’t interact with anyone, and I became isolated from the ones I loved most. For one week after the incident, I didn’t get any calls or updates about that night or what happened to me. The only symbol that proved that it hadn’t just been a bad dream, was the sweatshirt from the hospital in my drawer.

One day, I was at work, scrolling through the news on my phone, and came across an article. In it, I read and learned for the first time about how I was found unconscious, with my hair disheveled, long necklace wrapped around my neck, bra pulled out of my dress, dress pulled off over my shoulders and pulled up above my waist, that I was butt naked all the way down to my boots, legs spread apart, and had been penetrated by a foreign object by someone I did not recognize. This was how I learned what happened to me, sitting at my desk reading the news at work. I learned what happened to me the same time everyone else in the world learned what happened to me. That’s when the pine needles in my hair made sense, they didn’t fall from a tree. He had taken off my underwear, his fingers had been inside of me. I don’t even know this person. I still don’t know this person. When I read about me like this, I said, this can’t be me.

This can’t be me. I could not digest or accept any of this information. I could not imagine my family having to read about this online. I kept reading. In the next paragraph, I read something that I will never forgive; I read that according to him, I liked it. I liked it. Again, I do not have words for these feelings.

At the bottom of the article, after I learned about the graphic details of my own sexual assault, the article listed his swimming times. She was found breathing, unresponsive with her underwear six inches away from her bare stomach curled in fetal position. By the way, he’s really good at swimming. Throw in my mile time if that’s what we’re doing. I’m good at cooking, put that in there, I think the end is where you list your extra-curriculars to cancel out all the sickening things that’ve happened.

The night the news came out I sat my parents down and told them that I had been assaulted, to not look at the news because it’s upsetting, just know that I’m okay, I’m right here, and I’m okay. But halfway through telling them, my mom had to hold me because I could no longer stand up. I was not okay.

The night after it happened, he said he didn’t know my name, said he wouldn’t be able to identify my face in a lineup, didn’t mention any dialogue between us, no words, only dancing and kissing. Dancing is a cute term; was it snapping fingers and twirling dancing, or just bodies grinding up against each other in a crowded room? I wonder if kissing was just faces sloppily pressed up against each other? When the detective asked if he had planned on taking me back to his dorm, he said no. When the detective asked how we ended up behind the dumpster, he said he didn’t know. He admitted to kissing other girls at that party, one of whom was my own sister who pushed him away. He admitted to wanting to hook up with someone. I was the wounded antelope of the herd, completely alone and vulnerable, physically unable to fend for myself, and he chose me. Sometimes I think, if I hadn’t gone, then this never would’ve happened. But then I realized, it would have happened, just to somebody else. You were about to enter four years of access to drunk girls and parties, and if this is the foot you started off on, then it is right you did not continue.

The night after it happened, he said he thought I liked it because I rubbed his back. A back rub. Never mentioned me voicing consent, never mentioned us speaking, a back rub.

One more time, in public news, I learned that my ass and vagina were completely exposed outside, my breasts had been groped, fingers had been jabbed inside me along with pine needles and debris, my bare skin and head had been rubbing against the ground behind a dumpster, while an erect freshman was humping my half naked, unconscious body. But I don’t remember, so how do I prove I didn’t like it.

I thought there’s no way this is going to trial; there were witnesses, there was dirt in my body, he ran but was caught. He’s going to settle, formally apologize, and we will both move on. Instead, I was told he hired a powerful attorney, expert witnesses, private investigators who were going to try and find details about my personal life to use against me, find loopholes in my story to invalidate me and my sister, in order to show that this sexual assault was in fact a misunderstanding. That he was going to go to any length to convince the world he had simply been confused.

I was not only told that I was assaulted, I was told that because I couldn’t remember, I technically could not prove it was unwanted. And that distorted me, damaged me, almost broke me. It is the saddest type of confusion to be told I was assaulted and nearly raped, blatantly out in the open, but we don’t know if it counts as assault yet. I had to fight for an entire year to make it clear that there was something wrong with this situation.

When I was told to be prepared in case we didn’t win, I said, I can’t prepare for that. He was guilty the minute I woke up. No one can talk me out of the hurt he caused me. Worst of all, I was warned, because he now knows you don’t remember, he is going to get to write the script. He can say whatever he wants and no one can contest it. I had no power, I had no voice, I was defenseless. My memory loss would be used against me. My testimony was weak, was incomplete, and I was made to believe that perhaps, I am not enough to win this. That’s so damaging. His attorney constantly reminded the jury, the only one we can believe is Brock, because she doesn’t remember. That helplessness was traumatizing.

Instead of taking time to heal, I was taking time to recall the night in excruciating detail, in order to prepare for the attorney’s questions that would be invasive, aggressive, and designed to steer me off course, to contradict myself, my sister, phrased in ways to manipulate my answers. Instead of his attorney saying, Did you notice any abrasions? He said, You didn’t notice any abrasions, right? This was a game of strategy, as if I could be tricked out of my own worth. The sexual assault had been so clear, but instead, here I was at the trial, answering question like:

How old are you? How much do you weigh? What did you eat that day? Well what did you have for dinner? Who made dinner? Did you drink with dinner? No, not even water? When did you drink? How much did you drink? What container did you drink out of? Who gave you the drink? How much do you usually drink? Who dropped you off at this party? At what time? But where exactly? What were you wearing? Why were you going to this party? What’ d you do when you got there? Are you sure you did that? But what time did you do that? What does this text mean? Who were you texting? When did you urinate? Where did you urinate? With whom did you urinate outside? Was your phone on silent when your sister called? Do you remember silencing it? Really because on page 53 I’d like to point out that you said it was set to ring. Did you drink in college? You said you were a party animal? How many times did you black out? Did you party at frats? Are you serious with your boyfriend? Are you sexually active with him? When did you start dating? Would you ever cheat? Do you have a history of cheating? What do you mean when you said you wanted to reward him? Do you remember what time you woke up? Were you wearing your cardigan? What color was your cardigan? Do you remember any more from that night? No? Okay, we’ll let Brock fill it in.

I was pummeled with narrowed, pointed questions that dissected my personal life, love life, past life, family life, inane questions, accumulating trivial details to try and find an excuse for this guy who didn’t even take the time to ask me for my name, who had me naked a handful of minutes after seeing me. After a physical assault, I was assaulted with questions designed to attack me, to say see, her facts don’t line up, she’s out of her mind, she’s practically an alcoholic, she probably wanted to hook up, he’s like an athlete right, they were both drunk, whatever, the hospital stuff she remembers is after the fact, why take it into account, Brock has a lot at stake so he’s having a really hard time right now.

And then it came time for him to testify. This is where I became revictimized. I want to remind you, the night after it happened he said he never planned to take me back to his dorm. He said he didn’t know why we were behind a dumpster. He got up to leave because he wasn’t feeling well when he was suddenly chased and attacked. Then he learned I could not remember.

So one year later, as predicted, a new dialogue emerged. Brock had a strange new story, almost sounded like a poorly written young adult novel with kissing and dancing and hand holding and lovingly tumbling onto the ground, and most importantly in this new story, there was suddenly consent. One year after the incident, he remembered, oh yeah, by the way she actually said yes, to everything, so.

He said he had asked if I wanted to dance. Apparently I said yes. He’d asked if I wanted to go to his dorm, I said yes. Then he asked if he could finger me and I said yes. Most guys don’t ask, Can I finger you? Usually there’s a natural progression of things, unfolding consensually, not a Q and A. But apparently I granted full permission. He’s in the clear.

Even in this story, there’s barely any dialogue; I only said a total of three words before he had me half naked on the ground. I have never been penetrated after three words. He didn’t claim to hear me speak one full sentence that night, so in the news when it says we “met”, I’m not sure I would go so far as to say that. Future reference, if you are confused about whether a girl can consent, see if she can speak an entire sentence. You couldn’t even do that. Just one coherent string of words. If she can’t do that, then no. Don’t touch her, just no. Not maybe, just no. Where was the confusion? This is common sense, human decency.

According to him, the only reason we were on the ground was because I fell down. Note; if a girl falls help her get back up. If she is too drunk to even walk and falls, do not mount her, hump her, take off her underwear, and insert your hand inside her vagina. If a girl falls help her up. If she is wearing a cardigan over her dress don’t take it off so that you can touch her breasts. Maybe she is cold, maybe that’s why she wore the cardigan. If her bare ass and legs are rubbing the pinecones and needles, while the weight of you pushes into her, get off her.

Next in the story, two people approached you. You ran because you said you felt scared. I argue that you were scared because you’d be caught, not because you were scared of two terrifying Swedish grad students. The idea that you thought you were being attacked out of the blue was ludicrous. That it had nothing to do with you being on top my unconscious body. You were caught red handed, with no explanation. When they tackled you why didn’t say, “Stop! Everything’s okay, go ask her, she’s right over there, she’ll tell you.” I mean you had just asked for my consent, right? I was awake, right? When the policeman arrived and interviewed the evil Swede who tackled you, he was crying so hard he couldn’t speak because of what he’d seen. Also, if you really did think they were dangerous, you just abandoned a half-naked girl to run and save yourself. No matter which way you frame it, it doesn’t make sense.

Your attorney has repeatedly pointed out, well we don’t know exactly when she became unconscious. And you’re right, maybe I was still fluttering my eyes and wasn’t completely limp yet, fine. His guilt did not depend on him knowing the exact second that I became unconscious, that is never what this was about. I was slurring, too drunk to consent way before I was on the ground. I should have never been touched in the first place. Brock stated, “At no time did I see that she was not responding. If at any time I thought she was not responding, I would have stopped immediately.” Here’s the thing; if your plan was to stop only when I was literally unresponsive, then you still do not understand. You didn’t even stop when I was unconscious anyway! Someone else stopped you. Two guys on bikes noticed I wasn’t moving in the dark and had to tackle you. How did you not notice while on top of me?

You said, you would have stopped and gotten help. You say that, but I want you to explain how you would’ve helped me, step by step, walk me through this. I want to know, if those evil Swedes had not found me, how the night would have played out. I am asking you; Would you have pulled my underwear back on over my boots? Untangled the necklace wrapped around my neck? Closed my legs, covered me? Tucked my bra back into my dress? Would you have helped me pick the needles from my hair? Asked if the abrasions on my neck and bottom hurt? Would you then go find a friend and say, Will you help me get her somewhere warm and soft? I don’t sleep when I think about the way it could have gone if the Swedes had never come. What would have happened to me? That’s what you’ll never have a good answer for, that’s what you can’t explain even after a year.

To sit under oath and inform all of us, that yes I wanted it, yes I permitted it, and that you are the true victim attacked by guys for reasons unknown to you is sick, is demented, is selfish, is stupid. It shows that you were willing to go to any length, to discredit me, invalidate me, and explain why it was okay to hurt me. You tried unyieldingly to save yourself, your reputation, at my expense.

My family had to see pictures of my head strapped to a gurney full of pine needles, of my body in the dirt with my eyes closed, dress hiked up, limbs limp in the dark. And then even after that, my family had to listen to your attorney say, the pictures were after the fact, we can dismiss them. To say, yes her nurse confirmed there was redness and abrasions inside her, but that’s what happens when you finger someone, and he’s already admitted to that. To listen to him use my own sister against me. To listen him attempt to paint of a picture of me, the seductive party animal, as if somehow that would make it so that I had this coming for me. To listen to him say I sounded drunk on the phone because I’m silly and that’s my goofy way of speaking. To point out that in the voicemail, I said I would reward my boyfriend and we all know what I was thinking. I assure you my rewards program is non-transferable, especially to any nameless man that approaches me.

The point is, this is everything my family and I endured during the trial. This is everything I had to sit through silently, taking it, while he shaped the evening. It is enough to be suffering. It is another thing to have someone ruthlessly working to diminish the gravity and validity of this suffering. But in the end, his unsupported statements and his attorney’s twisted logic fooled no one. The truth won, the truth spoke for itself.

You are guilty. Twelve jurors convicted you guilty of three felony counts beyond reasonable doubt, that’s twelve votes per count, thirty-six yeses confirming guilt, that’s one hundred percent, unanimous guilt. And I thought finally it is over, finally he will own up to what he did, truly apologize, we will both move on and get better. Then I read your statement.

If you are hoping that one of my organs will implode from anger and I will die, I’m almost there. You are very close. Assault is not an accident. This is not a story of another drunk college hook-up with poor decision making. Somehow, you still don’t get it. Somehow, you still sound confused.

I will now take this opportunity to read portions of the defendant’s statement and respond to them.

You said, Being drunk I just couldn’t make the best decisions and neither could she.

Alcohol is not an excuse. Is it a factor? Yes. But alcohol was not the one who stripped me, fingered me, had my head dragging against the ground, with me almost fully naked. Having too much to drink was an amateur mistake that I admit to, but it is not criminal. Everyone in this room has had a night where they have regretted drinking too much, or knows someone close to them who has had a night where they have regretted drinking too much. Regretting drinking is not the same as regretting sexual assault. We were both drunk, the difference is I did not take off your pants and underwear, touch you inappropriately, and run away. That’s the difference.

You said, If I wanted to get to know her, I should have asked for her number, rather than asking her to go back to my room.

I’m not mad because you didn’t ask for my number. Even if you did know me, I would not want be in this situation. My own boyfriend knows me, but if he asked to finger me behind a dumpster, I would slap him. No girl wants to be in this situation. Nobody. I don’t care if you know their phone number or not.

You said, I stupidly thought it was okay for me to do what everyone around me was doing, which was drinking. I was wrong.

Again, you were not wrong for drinking. Everyone around you was not sexually assaulting me. You were wrong for doing what nobody else was doing, which was pushing your erect dick in your pants against my naked, defenseless body concealed in a dark area, where partygoers could no longer see or protect me, and own my sister could not find me. Sipping fireball is not your crime. Peeling off and discarding my underwear like a candy wrapper to insert your finger into my body, is where you went wrong. Why am I still explaining this.

You said, During the trial I didn’t want to victimize her at all. That was just my attorney and his way of approaching the case.

Your attorney is not your scapegoat, he represents you. Did your attorney say some incredulously infuriating, degrading things? Absolutely. He said you had an erection, because it was cold. I have no words.

You said, you are in the process of establishing a program for high school and college students in which you speak about your experience to “speak out against the college campus drinking culture and the sexual promiscuity that goes along with that.”

Speak out against campus drinking culture. That’s what we’re speaking out against? You think that’s what I’ve spent the past year fighting for? Not awareness about campus sexual assault, or rape, or learning to recognize consent. Campus drinking culture. Down with Jack Daniels. Down with Skyy Vodka. If you want talk to high school kids about drinking go to an AA meeting. You realize, having a drinking problem is different than drinking and then forcefully trying to have sex with someone? Show men how to respect women, not how to drink less.

Drinking culture and the sexual promiscuity that goes along with that. Goes along with that, like a side effect, like fries on the side of your order. Where does promiscuity even come into play? I don’t see headlines that read, Brock Turner, Guilty of drinking too much and the sexual promiscuity that goes along with that. Campus Sexaul Assault. There’s your first powerpoint slide.

I have done enough explaining. You do not get to shrug your shoulders and be confused anymore. You do not get to pretend that there were no red flags. You do not get to not know why you ran. You have been convicted of violating me with malicious intent, and all you can admit to is consuming alcohol. Do not talk about the sad way your life was upturned because alcohol made you do bad things. Figure out how to take responsibility for your own conduct.

Lastly you said, I want to show people that one night of drinking can ruin a life.

Ruin a life, one life, yours, you forgot about mine. Let me rephrase for you, I want to show people that one night of drinking can ruin two lives. You and me. You are the cause, I am the effect. You have dragged me through this hell with you, dipped me back into that night again and again. You knocked down both our towers, I collapsed at the same time you did. Your damage was concrete; stripped of titles, degrees, enrollment. My damage was internal, unseen, I carry it with me. You took away my worth, my privacy, my energy, my time, my safety, my intimacy, my confidence, my own voice, until today.

See one thing we have in common is that we were both unable to get up in the morning. I am no stranger to suffering. You made me a victim. In newspapers my name was “unconscious intoxicated woman”, ten syllables, and nothing more than that. For a while, I believed that that was all I was. I had to force myself to relearn my real name, my identity. To relearn that this is not all that I am. That I am not just a drunk victim at a frat party found behind a dumpster, while you are the All-American swimmer at a top university, innocent until proven guilty, with so much at stake. I am a human being who has been irreversibly hurt, who waited a year to figure out if I was worth something.

My independence, natural joy, gentleness, and steady lifestyle I had been enjoying became distorted beyond recognition. I became closed off, angry, self-deprecating, tired, irritable, empty. The isolation at times was unbearable. You cannot give me back the life I had before that night either. While you worry about your shattered reputation, I refrigerated spoons every night so when I woke up, and my eyes were puffy from crying, I would hold the spoons to my eyes to lessen the swelling so that I could see. I showed up an hour late to work every morning, excused myself to cry in the stairwells, I can tell you all the best places in that building to cry where no one can hear you, the pain became so bad that I had to tell my boss I was leaving, I needed time because continuing day to day was not possible. I used my savings to go as far away as I could possibly be.

I can’t sleep alone at night without having a light on, like a five year old, because I have nightmares of being touched where I cannot wake up, I did this thing where I waited until the sun came up and I felt safe enough to sleep. For three months, I went to bed at six o’clock in the morning.

I used to pride myself on my independence, now I am afraid to go on walks in the evening, to attend social events with drinking among friends where I should be comfortable being. I have become a little barnacle always needing to be at someone’s side, to have my boyfriend standing next to me, sleeping beside me, protecting me. It is embarrassing how feeble I feel, how timidly I move through life, always guarded, ready to defend myself, ready to be angry.

You have no idea how hard I have worked to rebuild parts of me that are still weak. It took me eight months to even talk about what happened. I could no longer connect with friends, with everyone around me. I would scream at my boyfriend, my own family whenever they brought this up. You never let me forget what happened to me. At the of end of the hearing, the trial, I was too tired to speak. I would leave drained, silent. I would go home turn off my phone and for days I would not speak. You bought me a ticket to a planet where I lived by myself. Every time a new article come out, I lived with the paranoia that my entire hometown would find out and know me as the girl who got assaulted. I didn’t want anyone’s pity and am still learning to accept victim as part of my identity. You made my own hometown an uncomfortable place to be.

Someday, you can pay me back for my ambulance ride and therapy. But you cannot give me back my sleepless nights. The way I have broken down sobbing uncontrollably if I’m watching a movie and a woman is harmed, to say it lightly, this experience has expanded my empathy for other victims. I have lost weight from stress, when people would comment I told them I’ve been running a lot lately. There are times I did not want to be touched. I have to relearn that I am not fragile, I am capable, I am wholesome, not just livid and weak.

I want to say this. All the crying, the hurting you have imposed on me, I can take it. But when I see my younger sister hurting, when she is unable to keep up in school, when she is deprived of joy, when she is not sleeping, when she is crying so hard on the phone she is barely breathing, telling me over and over she is sorry for leaving me alone that night, sorry sorry sorry, when she feels more guilt than you, then I do not forgive you. That night I had called her to try and find her, but you found me first. Your attorney’s closing statement began, “My sister said she was fine and who knows her better than her sister.” You tried to use my own sister against me. Your points of attack were so weak, so low, it was almost embarrassing. You do not touch her.

If you think I was spared, came out unscathed, that today I ride off into sunset, while you suffer the greatest blow, you are mistaken. Nobody wins. We have all been devastated, we have all been trying to find some meaning in all of this suffering.

You should have never done this to me. Secondly, you should have never made me fight so long to tell you, you should have never done this to me. But here we are. The damage is done, no one can undo it. And now we both have a choice. We can let this destroy us, I can remain angry and hurt and you can be in denial, or we can face it head on, I accept the pain, you accept the punishment, and we move on.

Your life is not over, you have decades of years ahead to rewrite your story. The world is huge, it is so much bigger than Palo Alto and Stanford, and you will make a space for yourself in it where you can be useful and happy. Right now your name is tainted, so I challenge you to make a new name for yourself, to do something so good for the world, it blows everyone away. You have a brain and a voice and a heart. Use them wisely. You possess immense love from your family. That alone can pull you out of anything. Mine has held me up through all of this. Yours will hold you and you will go on.

I believe, that one day, you will understand all of this better. I hope you will become a better more honest person who can properly use this story to prevent another story like this from ever happening again. I fully support your journey to healing, to rebuilding your life, because that is the only way you’ll begin to help others.

Now to address the sentencing. When I read the probation officer’s report, I was in disbelief, consumed by anger which eventually quieted down to profound sadness. My statements have been slimmed down to distortion and taken out of context. I fought hard during this trial and will not have the outcome minimized by a probation officer who attempted to evaluate my current state and my wishes in a fifteen minute conversation, the majority of which was spent answering questions I had about the legal system. The context is also important. Brock had yet to issue a statement, and I had not read his remarks.

My life has been on hold for over a year, a year of anger, anguish and uncertainty, until a jury of my peers rendered a judgment that validated the injustices I had endured. Had Brock admitted guilt and remorse and offered to settle early on, I would have considered a lighter sentence, respecting his honesty, grateful to be able to move our lives forward. Instead he took the risk of going to trial, added insult to injury and forced me to relive the hurt as details about my personal life and sexual assault were brutally dissected before the public. He pushed me and my family through a year of inexplicable, unnecessary suffering, and should face the consequences of challenging his crime, of putting my pain into question, of making us wait so long for justice.

I told the probation officer I do not want Brock to rot away in prison. I did not say he does not deserve to be behind bars. The probation officer’s recommendation of a year or less in county jail is a soft time-out, a mockery of the seriousness of his assaults, and of the consequences of the pain I have been forced to endure. I also told the probation officer that what I truly wanted was for Brock to get it, to understand and admit to his wrongdoing.

Unfortunately, after reading the defendant’s statement, I am severely disappointed and feel that he has failed to exhibit sincere remorse or responsibility for his conduct. I fully respected his right to a trial, but even after twelve jurors unanimously convicted him guilty of three felonies, all he has admitted to doing is ingesting alcohol. Someone who cannot take full accountability for his actions does not deserve a mitigating sentence. It is deeply offensive that he would try and dilute rape with a suggestion of promiscuity. By definition rape is the absence of promiscuity, rape is the absence of consent, and it perturbs me deeply that he can’t even see that distinction.

The probation officer factored in that the defendant is youthful and has no prior convictions. In my opinion, he is old enough to know what he did was wrong. When you are eighteen in this country you can go to war. When you are nineteen, you are old enough to pay the consequences for attempting to rape someone. He is young, but he is old enough to know better.

As this is a first offense I can see where leniency would beckon. On the other hand, as a society, we cannot forgive everyone’s first sexual assault or digital rape. It doesn’t make sense. The seriousness of rape has to be communicated clearly, we should not create a culture that suggests we learn that rape is wrong through trial and error. The consequences of sexual assault needs to be severe enough that people feel enough fear to exercise good judgment even if they are drunk, severe enough to be preventative. The fact that Brock was a star athlete at a prestigious university should not be seen as an entitlement to leniency, but as an opportunity to send a strong cultural message that sexual assault is against the law regardless of social class.

The probation officer weighed the fact that he has surrendered a hard earned swimming scholarship. If I had been sexually assaulted by an un-athletic guy from a community college, what would his sentence be? If a first time offender from an underprivileged background was accused of three felonies and displayed no accountability for his actions other than drinking, what would his sentence be? How fast he swims does not lessen the impact of what happened to me.

The Probation Officer has stated that this case, when compared to other crimes of similar nature, may be considered less serious due to the defendant’s level of intoxication. It felt serious. That’s all I’m going to say.

He is a lifetime sex registrant. That doesn’t expire. Just like what he did to me doesn’t expire, doesn’t just go away after a set number of years. It stays with me, it’s part of my identity, it has forever changed the way I carry myself, the way I live the rest of my life.

A year has gone by and he has had lots of time on his hands. Has he been seeing a psychologist? What has he done in this past year to show he’s been progressing? If he says he wants to implement programs, what has he done to show for it?

Throughout incarceration I hope he is provided with appropriate therapy and resources to rebuild his life. I request that he educates himself about the issue of campus sexual assault. I hope he accepts proper punishment and pushes himself to reenter society as a better person.

To conclude, I want to say thank you. To everyone from the intern who made me oatmeal when I woke up at the hospital that morning, to the deputy who waited beside me, to the nurses who calmed me, to the detective who listened to me and never judged me, to my advocates who stood unwaveringly beside me, to my therapist who taught me to find courage in vulnerability, to my boss for being kind and understanding, to my incredible parents who teach me how to turn pain into strength, to my friends who remind me how to be happy, to my boyfriend who is patient and loving, to my unconquerable sister who is the other half of my heart, to Alaleh, my idol, who fought tirelessly and never doubted me. Thank you to everyone involved in the trial for their time and attention. Thank you to girls across the nation that wrote cards to my DA to give to me, so many strangers who cared for me.

Most importantly, thank you to the two men who saved me, who I have yet to meet. I sleep with two bicycles that I drew taped above my bed to remind myself there are heroes in this story. That we are looking out for one another. To have known all of these people, to have felt their protection and love, is something I will never forget.

And finally, to girls everywhere, I am with you. On nights when you feel alone, I am with you. When people doubt you or dismiss you, I am with you. I fought everyday for you. So never stop fighting, I believe you. Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining. Although I can’t save every boat, I hope that by speaking today, you absorbed a small amount of light, a small knowing that you can’t be silenced, a small satisfaction that justice was served, a small assurance that we are getting somewhere, and a big, big knowing that you are important, unquestionably, you are untouchable, you are beautiful, you are to be valued, respected, undeniably, every minute of every day, you are powerful and nobody can take that away from you. To girls everywhere, I am with you. Thank you.

85 replies
  1. 1
    hovercraft says:

    I know there is a recall effort underway against the sentencing judge, but is there any sanction that can be imposed on him other than by the voters ?

  2. 2
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @hovercraft: Not really.

  3. 3
    Skerry says:

    Thank you for giving this front page visibility.

  4. 4
    Felanius Kootea says:

    @hovercraft: Shaming him everywhere as is currently being done.

    The survivor’s statement is powerful and moving and I hope her words break through to Brock Turner one
    day when he is sitting in his jail cell wondering why the world is being “unfair” to him for
    “being drunk and promiscuous.”

    I’m very happy that the two Swedish graduate students caught him in the act, chased him and held him
    down until the police arrived and that they testified for the prosecution. They knew what they witnessed
    was wrong, they knew he was up to no good when he ran for it and they chose to get involved. Not everyone
    does that these days.

  5. 5
    Betty says:

    She is very brave. This so clearly shows why so many victims don’t pursue the perpetrators.

  6. 6
    geg6 says:

    She is an amazing woman. She is all of us who have been through the horror of sexual assault. Every woman on my FB page is sharing this and, maybe as an effect of the presidential campaign, they are pissed. Every woman in America with a brain and a heart or who has also suffered through similar situations now have made this guy and his enablers public enemies and rightfully so. They are scum. We’ve had enough of assholes like this.

  7. 7
    Enhanced Voting Techinques says:

    Why do I have this feeling the Judge in question is a Stanford grad? “I was drunk” is an exacuse now? Jesus Christ.

    And what is the normal sentance for rape in Cal?

  8. 8
    japa21 says:

    My wife and I heard this while driving back from Missouri today. We were both almost speechless. You mention the father’s statement as being tone deaf. The judge was just plain deaf, period.

    The victim countered every argument that could have been made for leniency and then some.

    We can speak of travesties, and we live in a world which is full of them, but even in the most messed up world, this one stands way out.

  9. 9
    Elie says:

    Is this an amazing time or what? “Bending the arc of history towards justice turns out to be really hard, wet work — even though the words – “bending the arc” – are so beautiful and evoke such a soaring ideal. And so it is — the work towards the ideal as evoked in these words of this strong woman, are painful and brutal — but absolutely necessary. Thank you so much for putting this on the front page — particularly today, Adam….. praise be….

  10. 10
    SRW1 says:

    Tone deaf is a very polite characterization for what the father wrote in his letter.

  11. 11
    debbie says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    There’s nothing like a judicial ethics panel?

  12. 12
    MomSense says:


    This is a powerful statement from an amazing woman. Her last paragraph speaks to me in a profound way.

  13. 13
    JPL says:

    IMO.. The sentence would have been correct if the judge had said, here is the victims impact statement, take this is read it in assemblies in a dozen high schools and colleges in every state. Then say this is me that she is talking about.

  14. 14
    Schlemazel Khan says:

    Bear with me a second. I know this onion article from 2011 is a little too accurate for this soon but I want to lay it out here for a reason
    College Basketball Star Heroically Overcomes Tragic Rape He Committed

    My younger son posted a link to the story on FB with the following:
    Back in 2011 this was satire but it reflects reality. The mentality of the Turner sentencing is more akin to cultures that perform ‘honor killings’ and not a developed civilized culture that is unfortunately all too aware of the damage rape inflicts upon its victims.

    I never once felt I had to tell him not to rape but I guess he figured it out. Maybe we did ok.

  15. 15
    Gravenstone says:

    A statement that was seemingly ignored by the jude who presided over this case.

    Pretty sure you mean judge here…

  16. 16
    debbie says:


    Damn straight.

  17. 17
    TEL says:

    Thank you for front paging her statement – I was hoping someone would do that. Her statement is powerful in a way that a written description of the case is not.

  18. 18
    gwangung says:

    @Enhanced Voting Techinques: Fucker is a former Stanford jock.


    Makes me ashamed.

  19. 19
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @debbie: There is, but judges have very wide discretion on sentencing in jurisdictions that don’t have mandatory minimums.

  20. 20
    Gravenstone says:

    @Betty: Sadly true. Being told that she would be further victimized by the punk’s lawyers as an integral part of his defense strategy had and has to be horribly daunting to face. And worse, knowing this is not atypical of how rape defenses are constructed.

  21. 21
    debbie says:

    As much as everyone likes to slam CNN, all credit goes to them for reading the statement in its entirety.

  22. 22

    @SRW1: Understatement of the year.

  23. 23
    Gravenstone says:

    @Enhanced Voting Techinques:

    Why do I have this feeling the Judge in question is a Stanford grad?

    Because he was.

    Persky, a Stanford alumnus, was captain of the lacrosse team when he was an undergraduate.

  24. 24
    debbie says:

    @Enhanced Voting Techinques:

    Screw the judge. What the hell is up with that probation officer?

  25. 25
    Elie says:


    Totally agree — For Once — CNN did something morally right.

  26. 26
    Prometheus Shrugged says:

    @Enhanced Voting Techinques: He is, in fact, a Stanford alum, and a former athlete to boot (lacrosse). Go figure.

    Compare the sentence in this case with the sentencing of the 16 year old (wrongfully convicted, as it turned out) Brian Banks. NY Daily News recounted the story yesterday, along with Banks’ reaction to the Stanford case sentencing.

  27. 27
    Emma says:

    Most importantly, thank you to the two men who saved me, who I have yet to meet. I sleep with two bicycles that I drew taped above my bed to remind myself there are heroes in this story.

    This made me weep.

  28. 28
    PhoenixRising says:

    His life as he envisioned it IS in fact over–with the problems US Swimming has had keeping coaches from molesting their child athletes, he’s never going to be able to coach at any level, meaning, he will have to find work suitable to his skills.

    Licking the inside of the dumpster behind a 7-11 should work.

    From reading this statement I have the impression that he might have been able to plead it down or sideways for more time plus probation to avoid that registration, which again really has changed his life dramatically. Not inappropriately or wrongly, but dramatically.

    So anyone know if that is correct? Could he have walked in with a different kind of lawyer and said, Hey, I blacked out, these guys said I did something terrible, I’ll never drink again and can I apologize to this girl who I have injured in ways I cannot begin to understand? Because I can’t believe I did that?

    I’m just puzzled by the suggestion she seems to be making that his charging and sentencing were subject to that much discretion. He was caught raping an unconscious person half his size. Was there really a door through which he could exit that act with his life plan intact?

  29. 29
    Anastasio Beaverhausen says:

    Imagine a situation in which the attacker was black. Six months? Try 60 years.

  30. 30
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Ramping Up: Try not to be an asshole in a thread like this one.

  31. 31
    Kay (not the front-pager) says:

    @Schlemazel Khan: You raised a wise son. I saw the Onion video and was amazed that it was not filmed as a direct response to this case.

    Every parent of a son past puberty should sit said son down and read this letter to him. Then initiate a discussion about what constitutes consent, what constitutes rape, and the consequences of rape on the victim, the perpetrator, their families and friends. This needs to stop.

  32. 32
    rikyrah says:

    Everything about this case makes me mad.

    Just infuriates me :(

  33. 33
    Ajabu says:

    That’s an extraordinary document by a very courageous young woman. If something of that nature happened to anyone in my family I’d be inclined to cut his dick off. Let him become a better person in the Castrati. Fuck that over privileged white boy, his attorney, his daddy, the judge and the horses they rode in on. Hopefully, Karma will see to it that some of those bad Mofos from East Palo Alto will be doing time in County when he is and have read this statement. I have no pity for him.

  34. 34
    debbie says:

    This is really hard to read.

  35. 35
    trollhattan says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    Besides, Donny’s flamethrower is microscopic.

    That statement is a hell of a piece of writing. I hope the young woman finds peace. The kid and his squadron of enablers….

  36. 36
    geg6 says:


    As it should be. I have a similar story but no heroes on bicycles to help. And it got worse from there.

  37. 37
    Anne Laurie says:

    @geg6: Ain’t it a helluva world where we’re reduced to saying, “Thank heavens for the morning-after pill and pre-emptive STD treatment?”

  38. 38
    debbie says:


    That’s the point. There aren’t many bicycles anymore. If there ever were.

  39. 39
    geg6 says:

    @Anne Laurie:

    We have that world now, thank FSM. We didn’t when it happened to me. It was worst case scenario for me and that led to my grudge against the Catholic Church and my own mother. Forgave my mother (as much as possible, anyway). Haven’t forgiven anyone else. This scars a 16 yo more than anyone can know.

  40. 40
    Starfish says:

    We also have a world where people are openly discussing this, and no one is arguing that digital penetration is not rape.

  41. 41
    redshirt says:

    @Anne Laurie: Sorry to go OT, but will you be putting up a primary thread tonight Anne? Or another FPer? Please?

  42. 42
    geg6 says:


    True. And a world where a woman has a rather better than a non-zero chance to be leader of the free world, starting tonight. It is to weep. With sadness and joy, all at once.

  43. 43
    Elie says:

    I agree — this is a big night and Trump is talking trash. This is an important topic but lets get on the other important topic for tonight. Need another thread please!

  44. 44
    MomSense says:


    I haven’t fully forgiven my parents yet. Some days it’s a struggle.

  45. 45
    Renie says:

    I was reading some of the letters written to the Court on behalf of Turner.

    A sentence from his grandparents’ letter: “Brock is the only person being held accountable for the actions of other irresponsible adults.” WTF who else is responsible for what he did?

    The sister blaming it on his drinking:”A series of alcohol-fueled decisions that he made within an hour timespan will define him for the rest of his life.”

    A letter from a friend: “I don’t think it’s fair to base the fate of the next ten + years of his life on the decision of a girl who doesn’t remember anything but the amount she drank to press charges against him”. I can’t believe someone would write this. What kind of animal thinks it is okay to sexually assault a person who is unconscious?

    More from this friend (and the judge put a lot of value on this letter): “This is completely different from a woman getting kidnapped and raped as she is walking to her car in a parking lot. That is a rapist. These are not rapists. These are idiot boys and girls having too much to drink and not being aware of their surroundings and having clouded judgement.”

    This people are in such denial. All blaming it on the kid drinking not on him.

    If you have a strong stomach here’s the linkThe Guardian

  46. 46
    Aleta says:

    I’d like to know if the prosecutors introduced exactly what information is provided, and especially how it’s provided, to Stanford student athletes about performing sex on drunken women and men. Is there just a poster on the wall at the gym or website page about student conduct? Or do athletes have to register attendance at a talk where they are told that drunks are not considered by Stanford to be able to consent?

    The reason I ask is because it’s disheartening to think that even after years of college rape awareness efforts, and years of public rape trials involving incapacitated victims, a college athlete can still convince people like Judge Pensky that he believed he had consent.

    Since athletes agree to stricter conduct standards than other students, would it be that hard to ask them to read and sign their awareness of the college’s definition of rape? Of course this wouldn’t help all rape victims, or stop all campus rape, but it might have changed the resulting sentence in this case.

  47. 47
    scav says:

    @Aleta: If parents, grandparents and friends are such (lifetime) enablers, a few posters in a college locker-room don’t have much chance.

  48. 48
    geg6 says:


    All students at my university are required to complete a training on sexual assault. They do it online and their completion of the module is recorded in their permanent record. Doesn’t stop asshole who think they can get away with it because of their status. Only thing that will decrease the incidence of this is consequences. Swift and severe consequences.

  49. 49
    Omnes Omnibus says:


    but it might have changed the resulting sentence in this case.

    I doubt it.

  50. 50
    satby says:

    @geg6: I’m so sorry you went through what you did.

  51. 51
    Aleta says:

    @geg6: Thank you for your courage. In my family every daughter was raped by acquaintances, at ages from 16 to 23.

  52. 52
    scav says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Not with the judge doing the sentencing limbo and who knows, the secret 20-minute action handshake.

  53. 53
    laura says:

    There’s nothing bizarre about this athlete-scholar’s sentence, it is becoming increasingly common for a judge to find concern for the future of the young man “with so much to lose.” It is of a piece with the white male victim suffering from PC. Or abortion rights, or every damn thing these days. The woman is not there. She has no agency, and therefore consent is not a consideration. Worse, some judges are finding consent or physical development as justificatuon for lienency or no jail time at all.
    This woman is taking a stand in speaking her truth and deserves to make her voice heard.

    And the clear contrast in behavior by the Swedes and the rapist, his pap and the judge. Common decency and self directed action for the benefit of a stranger are traits of a good man. The others- I leave it to others.

    It’s a good time to reread The handmaid’s Tale. I’d also recommend Consent is like a cup of tea – it’s on the Utubes!

  54. 54
    Aleta says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: As you like to say, Not relevant.

  55. 55
    debbie says:


    The reason I ask is because it’s disheartening to think that even after years of college rape awareness efforts, and years of public rape trials involving incapacitated victims, a college athlete can still convince people like Judge Pensky that he believed he had consent.

    I think we’ll have to wait until all the old people with their old ideas die off.

  56. 56

    This is shocking and sad.

  57. 57
    scav says:

    @debbie: Still not enough, the rapist is still clueless and his friends are writing in support. It’s not just age.

  58. 58
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Aleta: Sorry I commented then.

  59. 59
    trollhattan says:

    Jesus. Can’t begin to process that.

    Tonight, the status of American women takes a meaningful step forward. I’m telling my kid this is going to improve her future. Hope I”m right.

  60. 60
    eemom says:

    another Stanford University student

    Adam — it is great that you posted about this. Just a minor factual correction: the victim was not a Stanford student. She attended the party with her younger sister, who was.

  61. 61
    debbie says:


    I don’t know which is more despairing: that sexual assault occurs so often or that so often the perpetrators are acquaintances.

  62. 62
    Aleta says:

    @debbie: Although, women who are in their 60s, 70s and 80s now are the people who started rape crisis centers and phone lines. Fought for years to get police departments to take women reporting rape seriously instead of automatically dismissing most of them, and then to get police to allow crisis volunteers to accompany victims during the police process. They fought for years to get rape by a husband of a wife to be considered worthy of at least being charged. Etc. And all kinds of lawyers and legal experts who are old now are the ones who began the fight to change how a victim is interrogated in court.

  63. 63
    eemom says:


    The reason I ask is because it’s disheartening to think that even after years of college rape awareness efforts, and years of public rape trials involving incapacitated victims, a college athlete can still convince people like Judge Pensky that he believed he had consent.

    Since athletes agree to stricter conduct standards than other students, would it be that hard to ask them to read and sign their awareness of the college’s definition of rape? Of course this wouldn’t help all rape victims, or stop all campus rape, but it might have changed the resulting sentence in this case.

    Sorry, but this makes no sense. The jury convicted Turner of three counts of sexual assault, which means that the jury — whose job it was to make that determination — concluded that she did NOT consent. The judge’s outrageous assholery in the sentencing had nothing to do with the issue of consent.

  64. 64
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @debbie: Its harder to listen to.

  65. 65
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @eemom: Thanks, I’ll make a correction to that.

  66. 66
    debbie says:

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Thank you for front paging this.

  67. 67
    TriassicSands says:

    …William Zantzinger with a six month sentence…

    Horrifying. Yeah, a longer sentence would have had a “severe impact on” Turner, the rapist. Well, we wouldn’t want that would we? I imagine putting him in the sex registry would be a bummer for him, too. Perhaps, sending him to swimming camp would be more appropriate.

    I hope everyone will sign the petition to remove Judge Persky from the bench.

  68. 68
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @debbie: You’re welcome. There’s a related post, as I alluded to, about all of the socio-cultural factors that contribute to this type of thing. From still not having it settled in the US that women are completely autonomous individuals with the right to control their own bodies. To how Law gets directed and applied based on nearness to or distance from the perceived/accepted cultural norms to socialization and acculturation in regards to what actually is and is not rape. And yes, there is still, amazingly and unfortunately, confusion over this. But that is all for another day. This young woman’s bravery and grace is the focus today.

  69. 69
    Gvg says:

    She writes very well. She could be an author some day.
    Most drunk people don’t do what he did. His family brought him up wrong. I wonder about his dad’s past and the judges too.
    I don’t understand the role of the probation officer in the case.
    It seems to,me that it’s a problem getting justice because somehow we as a society allow attorneys to get successful verdicts by attacking women’s character with no evidence instead of sanctions or mistrials. I wouldn’t want to not allow defense if an accuser was lying but rape cases are notorious to women for how foul and baseless the attacks are that are allowed. Can’t we balance things better?

  70. 70
    Omnes Omnibus says:


    Most drunk people don’t do what he did.

    It is fairly simple rule: If you are drunk, don’t rape. And you can easily substitute anything for “are drunk” and it is still true.

  71. 71
    debbie says:

    @Adam L Silverman:

    …what actually is and is not rape. And yes, there is still, amazingly and unfortunately, confusion over this.

    You may or may not remember Robert Chambers, the “Preppie Killer” from the mid 1980s. The bar where they met was at the end of my block. The next day I was on the phone with my youngest brother, then in college, and the concept of consensual sex came up. He was stupid enough to tell me no didn’t always mean no. That started an argument that didn’t end until Thanksgiving when we were face to face. He’s got two daughters now and I know he doesn’t feel the same; still, this shows how little has changed.

  72. 72
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @debbie: Its not just that. If you look at the social learning research into rape and sexual assault (my crim dissertation chair Ron Akers created this survey based on his social learning theory) there is a question: have you ever committed rape. Usually in the experimental group (the general population of university males, the control group is usually those already convicted and incarcerated of rape and/or sexual assault) the no answer is very, very high and the yes answer is very, very low. About 20 or so questions later the actual statutory definition of rape is provided within the question of “Have you ever done the following (insert statutory definition of rape here)?” The yes numbers suddenly go up and the no answers go down. They 20 or so questions later there is a proclivity question asking “would you like to engage in the following (insert functional definition of rape here)?” The yes numbers are also higher than you would expect and the no number is lower. So we know there is a disconnect between what men know is wrong and not to do based on the name of the action versus the actual description of the action.

  73. 73
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @efgoldman: He was up for retention reelection today. Unopposed.

  74. 74
    Lyrebird says:

    @Prometheus Shrugged: Thanks – yes, saw this on RawStory i think. Banks happens to be a Black person. Hmmm, things that make you go hmmmm… And yes everyone please do sign MoveOn’s petition about this; I thought I’d become immune to the petition emails but this particular travesty got me out of inaction.

    Before reading this, what I’d seen was a quote (I think?) from the father, asking the judge not to let 20 min determine so much of this guy’s life ahead… I thought, oh gee, how about the men in Sing Sing for murder? Wouldn’t they prefer to have their sentences cut to 2 months, since it takes only seconds to shoot someone? (Meant as sarcasm here, not as a realistic suggestion.) What sort of idiot is this judge, to make the sentence based on the perpetrator’s convenience instead of the crime he committed and the damage he did to others? If only “idiot” would be sufficient, but no, there are many people out there with a good claim to the term who would not have treated this assault so lightly. Ugh.

  75. 75
    Lyrebird says:

    @efgoldman: Total respect to you, to Schlemazel Khan, and all the awesome dads out there.

  76. 76
    eemom says:


    It seems to,me that it’s a problem getting justice because somehow we as a society allow attorneys to get successful verdicts by attacking women’s character with no evidence instead of sanctions or mistrials. I wouldn’t want to not allow defense if an accuser was lying but rape cases are notorious to women for how foul and baseless the attacks are that are allowed. Can’t we balance things better?

    Once again — there was NOT a verdict for the defendant in this case; he was CONVICTED of three counts of sexual assault. The outrage is about the judge’s ridiculous “sentencing” of a CONVICTED rapist.

    Jesus Christ, you don’t have to be a lawyer to fucking pay some attention to what’s actually going on in a particular case, instead of dredging up all-purpose tropes on the general subject of rape.

  77. 77
    debbie says:

    @Adam L Silverman:

    That doesn’t surprise me. It’s all self-rationalization.

  78. 78
    Adam L Silverman says:

    @debbie: Some, but its also that we’ve socialized everyone to know that rape is wrong and not think much more of it. Most people couldn’t provide a statutory definition of rape if they had too. They should be able to provide a functional one, but that seems to get lost in the shuffle too. The bottom line is there is still much work to do.

  79. 79
    amygdala says:

    Thank you for bearing witness, and putting her suffering in context with such insight and clarity. It helps more than I can express.

  80. 80
    Gretchen says:

    @laura: One story I read said one of the Swedes was sobbing when the police arrived. So not only did he not think it acceptable to force oneself on an unconscious woman, he was sobbing at seeing someone else doing it.

  81. 81
    Gretchen says:

    All the guy’s allies blame the woman for drinking herself unconscious. She herself says her tolerance was down from her college days and she must have had too much to drink. But is it confirmed that he didn’t dose her with roofies before she went down? It would have made his task much easier, and we know that he considered an unconscious woman fair game.

  82. 82
    Mnemosyne says:


    The way she describes it in her statement, it sure sounds like there was something more going on than just alcohol. There’s probably no way to know now if they didn’t catch it at the hospital, though.

  83. 83
    NotoriousJRT says:

    “A series of alcohol-fueled decisions that he made within an hour timespan will define him for the rest of his life.”
    Welcome to the world of any and all whose criminal violence against others is discovered and prosecuted. Feeling “Who moved my privilege?” much? “But, but, but I was drunk” is not a defense,

  84. 84

    Please fix the unfortunate typo in the one link

    “seemingly ignored by the jude who presided over this case.”

    ‘jude” is German for Jew, and in today’s hot button resurgence of anti-semitism, you don’t want that typo.

  85. 85
    sherparick says:

    Reading the comments in some of the stories in other papers in blogs is sad. The tribal identification with Mr. Turner, who has been convicted of the crimes of sexual assault and attempted rape by a jury of his peers beyond a reasonable doubt, is sad and the refusal to accept facts and blame the woman is amazing.

    Amazing number of the commentators defending Turner treat this as “he said, she said” case. It was not. She was unconscious and had no memory of events, only blacking out during the party and then waking up in the hospital with the detective and nurses beside her. He was caught in the act by two male witnesses who knew neither party and who observed that he was attempting to rape her while she was unconscious.

    And also the same people defending this kid would have gone ballistic if the perpetrator was black or hispanic (Mexican) working class person. So this is a story about sexism, racism, and class.

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