Since an allegedly, based on early reports, bad Batman movie is opening this weekend, this seems oddly appropriate:
You all know what to do in the comments!
by Adam L Silverman| 98 Comments
This post is in: Open Threads
Since an allegedly, based on early reports, bad Batman movie is opening this weekend, this seems oddly appropriate:
You all know what to do in the comments!
Comments are closed.
redshirt
As if Batman could beat up Superman.
benw
Adam, that is TERRIBLE. This isn’t METAL but it still kills.
Adam L Silverman
@benw: Yep and I’ve been saving it for an appropriate occasion.
LAO
I can’t believe I watched the whole thing.
Adam L Silverman
@LAO: Here’s the first one, Batmetal:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qatmJtIJAPw
To be honest, despite how bad Batmetal Returns is, they did a much better job with animating to the song they picked than in the first one.
benw
@redshirt: more interesting is if the idea of Batman can beat the idea of Superman.
Anya
Allegedly? I feel like I need a support group. For years, I was looking forward to a DCverse movie but Zack Snyder’s lack of understanding of Superman, and to a lesser extend Batman, & his limited bag of tricks ruined all that.
Adam L Silverman
@Anya: I haven’t seen it yet. Therefore allegedly.
gene108
Glad I watched till the end. I was thinking “boy, that sounds an a lot like Dethklok” and lo! and behold it’s a Dethklok song.
LAO
@Adam L Silverman: But the first one was shorter. Lol. I still watched both.
Good night all!
NotMax
Well, it has a bat…
Anya
@Adam L Silverman: are you planning on seeing it? I would love your take!
Linnaeus
Great Gonzaga/Syracuse game.
NotMax
@gene108
Did misread that at first as Desslok.
redshirt
If B v S is truly a critical dud, it probably won’t matter too much to its box office, but it will affect the funnel of movies in the pipeline. DC is planning on putting out 2 superhero movies a year, forever.
But if this movie gets lambasted and barely doubles profits, I can see the Suits getting real nervous and pulling the plug on the Aquaman sequel.
Anya
By the way, I want to thank the night owls who suggested audiobooks to fall asleep to.
Any suggestions for good Netflix series or movies? Suggestions for political thrillers, Sci-Fi & good romantic comedy would be appreciated.
Mike J
Nobody is required to watch bad films in the cinema. In fact, we’d all be better off if you don’t.
Adam L Silverman
@Anya: I’m probably going to go early Sunday afternoon. I figure given that its Easter I should have a mostly empty theater. Depends how my weekend develops. I’ll let you know. I don’t think there’s any doubt that Snyder isn’t really the right person to be directing these – I’m be surprised that Geoff Johns, who has creative control at DC, is happy with this. But I really don’t know how much control DC really has over these versus the folks counting dollar bills at Time-Warner. And I’m not just talking continuity issues or anything like that, just that Snyder clearly doesn’t seem to get what he’s got to work with or where it should go.
Adam L Silverman
@NotMax: Awww, that’s adorable.
rikyrah
@Anya:
Have you seen The Fall or Happy Valley, or Daredevil?
All worthy of a binge weekend
Mike J
Please, please, please, everyone sign the petition.
More than 5,000 support petition to allow guns at Republican National Convention in Cleveland
Mike J
@NotMax:
NananananananaOppussomMan
http://imgur.com/gallery/HvgEJeJ
burnspbesq
Dreadful performance by the United States tonight.
The Fire Klinsmann crowd can be every bit as annoying as the Bernie or Bust Krewe, but tonight they can yap all they want. We really sucked.
Anya
@redshirt: I think if they took the series away from Zack Snyder et al., and gave it to a team that knows the characters & can tell a good story, they’ll be fine.
dogwood
@rikyrah:
I really liked both seasons of Happy Valley.
Adam L Silverman
@redshirt: It’ll make big dollars overseas. The problem is that Snyder is in control of, at least, Justice League 1. The Wonder Woman movie is being done by a different team – thankfully. As is Suicide Squad. The real question is going to be that if this one is as bad as is being reported, specifically story wise, whether they assign someone to babysit Snyder and that person is really in charge.
I’m also not sure if a lot of the disgruntlement being expressed are by the online, noisy fanpersons who freak out over any little adjustment to anything. You know the ones that complained that Age of Ultron was wrong because Stark created Ultron not Hank Pym… Or because Glorfindel Goldenrod was replaced with Arwen in Lord of the Rings.
I won’t know till I see it.
Adam L Silverman
@Mike J: It won’t make any difference. Even if the RNC wanted to allow it, the venue is a privately owned facility and it bans firearms and other weapons from its premises.
Heliopause
Periodically when I watch basketball I’m reminded of why I watch so little basketball. If basketball refs decide one team is going to win then they will win. Period. Honest to god, figure skating is often more honestly judged.
Anya
@rikyrah: I am in the middle of S1 Daredevil but haven’t seen Happy Valley. Thanks for the recommendation.
Adam L Silverman
@Mike J: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOBdlk2xZKk
Mike J
@burnspbesq:
Missed the game tonight, but I had to explain to linemates the other night at the Hillary rally where “I believe that she will win” chant comes from.
The Republic, Blah Blah Blah...
Aw geez… what are you trying to do… start a riot?
Why don’t you just shout fire in a crowded theater or throw fistfuls of money up in the air?
Brachiator
Batman v Superman made me appreciate the underrated Man of Steel. A spoiler free but opinionated view. Shield your eyes if you don’t wanna know nuthin.
In Batman v Superman, Zack Snyder again demonstrates a very interesting visual imagination, and he and his screen writers come up with some provocative thematic elements. Unfortunately, Snyder is largely incompetent as a storyteller and director. There are three movies here: a Superman sequel, a Batman movie, and an incipient Justice League movie; and all of them are kinda sucky.
There was an running Internet meme about “Sad Batman,” based on an early photo from the movie. It’s worse. You got morose Batman, glum Bruce Wayne, and an emotionally constipated Superman. The Luthor character is annoying, more one-note moron than evil genius. On the other hand, some of the action scenes are quite striking, but often poorly lit and sloppy. Worse, the movie just feels like a number of set pieces strung together, instead of a coherent story which builds to anything. Emotionally weighty scenes, such as one involving Amy Adams in a bath tub, pops out of nowhere and is flat instead of hot.
Yes, Wonder Woman makes an appearance and the musical theme which announces her is quite marvelous, but she is largely wasted here. Snyder could have easily made a small switch in the actions of a couple of characters, giving Wonder Woman a slightly more prominent role in the battle which consumes the last part of the film. This might have affected the ending that Snyder wanted, but would have resulted in a superior film overall. Instead, there are just a bunch of missed opportunities as Snyder clumsily sets up the next film in what they hope will be a new franchise.
This is all unfortunate since the cast is really quite good (except for Lex Luthor), including glum Affleck. I note that some in the audience applauded at the end of the film. Unfortunately, they were not sharing their drugs.
In the end, it’s not that the film is bad. It’s all the missed opportunities. And the strain and unnecessary heavy lifting. Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman are an iconic trinity. It should not be that tough to come up with a film in which these characters soar.
Snyder also does something I particularly detest in a comic book movie. He pitches the movie to the comic nerds who want the movie to be just for them, and not a family film. It’s not sex or violence, but be warned if you bring little kiddies. There is a late plot development which they may find troubling.
Some may not remember but back in the day, some parents angrily walked their kids out of “Batman Returns” because kids reacted badly to the feral ugliness of the Penguin, and were alarmed by scenes that suggested that little children were being murdered. By the way, I thought that “Batman Returns” was great, but understand that scenes like this may come as a shock to kids and parents who think that if toys and games are part of the marketing, then the movie must be kid friendly.
Adam L Silverman
@The Republic, Blah Blah Blah…: I am not in a theater and I don’t have fistfuls of money on me at the moment.
You work with what you have.
Anya
I know this is a really dumb question but does anyone understand the republicans’ Flint Water Poisoning stand. They basically held hearings to blame Obama Admin’s regulatory agency. I thought they didn’t want EPA to regulate anything.
NotMax
@Anya
There have been a couple of Netflix threads over the past week or so, so shan’t repeat recommendations from those.
For a political thriller, the Norwegian series Occupied takes an unusual premise and runs in unexpected ways with it.
burnspbesq
@Mike J:
If you recorded it, just hit “erase.”
The Republic, Blah Blah Blah...
@Adam L Silverman: Red meat?
Major Major Major Major
What an utterly pointless day. What should I do now?
redshirt
@Adam L Silverman: I think Snyder will get booted, which is going to delay JL1 which I believe is scheduled to start shortly.
The Republic, Blah Blah Blah...
@Anya: They don’t until they do, and they only do when they can use it to make someone else look bad… and then that’s good…
I hope that explains everything for you…
Up is down, day is night… blah blah blah…
Adam L Silverman
@Anya: They don’t, but it provides a convenient diversion from the fact that the Republican governor of Michigan working with and through the Republican controlled legislature of Michigan, took completely control of a municipality through his appointed and accountable only to him manager. That manager decided, in an attempt to break the municipality, which was the real goal of taking them over this way, removed the city from a safe water supply and onto an unsafe one that had no mitigation (either proactive or reactive) in place. And then when it quickly became apparent there was a problem, every action taken, by agencies under the governor’s control, was done not to actually remedy the situation but to cover the governor’s ass.
So if you can blame the EPA, which everyone knows is a liberal Federal agency, and through it on the President, who everyone knows really isn’t an American, then you don’t have to actually do anything to solve the real problem and help the people whose lives have been ruined. Because that’s not what your strategy is: its not fixing the problem and working to make people whole, rather its to protect your position and ensure that blame is cast on those that had nothing to do with this at all.
Steeplejack
@Heliopause:
I laughed the other night when someone here compared basketball to interpretive dance. If you are of a certain age you can’t escape the feeling that the game has gotten too loose and capricious.
Adam L Silverman
@The Republic, Blah Blah Blah…: I do have some steaks and some ground bison.
Adam L Silverman
@efgoldman: Yep.
Adam L Silverman
@redshirt: They’re supposed to start filming in two weeks. The question is going to be whether DC’s creative folks have enough power and control to boot him when they hear from the actual consumers of their products or if he’s protecting by Time-Warner because the film has still made a ton of money.
NotMax
@NotMax
For a romantic comedy, How to Steal a Million is on Netflix at present.
Peter O’ Toole, Audrey Hepburn. With scenery chewer extraordinaire Hugh Griffith. Trailer
The Republic, Blah Blah Blah...
@Adam L Silverman: That’ll probably work…
Once you toss it into the room, I suggest you back out quickly and lock the door behind you…
Steeplejack
@burnspbesq:
Yeah, it was pretty bad. Dunno that Klinsmann deserves so much blame when they were flatlining on the pitch. Maybe they thought Guatemala would be a gimme.
Brachiator
@redshirt:
I would be willing to take a risk with the folks doing the TV DC Universe shows, Arrow, Flash and Supergirl. Or a new team all together. Give them the movies. Snyder and company just cannot deliver the goods.
GregB
Who needs two heroes fighting each other with Batman Vs. Superman when you have an epic battle of two villains fighting each other with Trump Vs. Cruz?
NotMax
@NotMax
Hm. Linky didn’t take. Try again.
Trailer.
Technocrat
@Adam L Silverman:
I’m really looking forward to Wonder Woman and very much looking forward to Suicide Squad. Not quite sure if I’m going to pull the trigger on Bats vs Supes.
@rikyrah: .
Daredevil is just ridiculously good. I’m pacing myself to avoid the pain of withdrawal when I’m done.
Adam L Silverman
@Brachiator: You give it to the DC Animated crew. For story and development and then you get a good director to pair with them.
piratedan
@Adam L Silverman: see: LePetomaine, Gov. – jobs, phoney baloney,
the fact that the fucking media let them get away with that shit or even attempt to get away with it makes me want to put heads on pikes.
piratedan
@Technocrat: still waiting for the Flaming Carrot movie…. maybe when they do the sequel to Mystery Men
NotMax
@piratedan
Right after Howard the Duck 2: The Quackening.
NotMax
@Technocrat
CCH Pounder was born to play Amanda Waller.
Steeplejack
@piratedan:
I have a soft spot for Mystery Men—a bit of a mess, but it had some great moments. I so wanted it to be better than it ended up being.
Technocrat
@Adam L Silverman:
Agreed. The Animation crew seems to have a solid take on the DC universe. Snyder seems to want to make Superman, The Dark Knight.
@piratedan:
I haven’t read Flaming Carrot…sad to say my reading of actual comics has tailed off in the past decade. I’m basically a comics poseur at this point.
Heliopause
@Steeplejack:
I gave up entirely on the pro game years ago. Even on those rare occasions when it is officiated semi-honestly the first 45 minutes of a given game are played at a narcotic pace. It would be great if NBA games were at 2-6 AM in my time zone, that’s when I tend to wake up and have difficulty falling back to sleep.
I don’t really follow college ball except to watch March Madness, and this Syracuse-Gonzaga “game” might put me off of even that. I like the pace and the passion of the college game, but if the result is going to be decided beforehand there’s no point in watching. Just let me know who the designated winner is and I’ll log it into my bracket.
Ruckus
@GregB:
As bad as the movie sounds, all you have to do to avoid it is to not pay to see it. With the rethug problem you may have to actually live in it.
IOW you are right, real life in this case sucks more than the movies.
The Lodger
@Mike J: Was this signed by 4,500 Democrats who have stocked up on popcorn?
piratedan
@Steeplejack: agree that it was a hot mess, but it seemed to have some spirit to it, besides, how often do you get to hear William G Macy use the eating of a sandwich as a rallying cry?
NotMax
@Steeplejack
Share the sentiment entirely, but applied to League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.
Brachiator
@Adam L Silverman:
This might work, too, assuming that the animation folks could make the transition to live action. I have not seen a great deal of the various animated works, but I really enjoyed an animated feature devoted to the Suicide Squad.
Anya
@Brachiator: Dear god, not the Arrow team. They turned the Green Arrow into an Olicity fanfiction.
Kropadope
I enjoyed it, though the beginning was kind of a mess. It didn’t seem to know where it was going for the first half an hour. Still, it had enjoyable action and I loved Wonder Woman. The biggest problem I had was that Affleck’s Batman had supposedly been Batmanning a long time, but instead of linking the character to the three successful and, IMHO, amazing Christopher Nolan films, they basically start from scratch, while discussing history mainly by flashbacks or memorabilia.
Brachiator
@Technocrat:
I would not have a problem with this. There are people who complain that DC is trying to make everything “dark and gritty.” This is not the problem. Glum and morose is not the same thing as “dark and gritty.”
Snyder is not as in control of his materials as a director as was Nolan. For example, there are reports that Snyder wants to make the DVD release R rated. This will not result in a better or deeper work, just more of the same.
ruemara
Finally ate dinner and I’m reviewing possible festival submissions. I think these are going to be the last. I haven’t been chosen to be in one yet and I’d rather get ready for the online release next month and shooting the next round of films. It’s hard to keep spending money on fests and never hear back. I wish I knew what was going on.
I am loving this Batmetal stuff. Problem is I can’t even understand Dethklok lyrics, so I can’t tell if I’ve heard it before.
Technocrat
@Anya:
I hadn’t heard the term “Olicity” before tonight. I just spent 10 minutes googling in slack-jawed amazement.
ETA: SO much Tumblr. So much.
Tripod
Wonder Women looks like an extra from a Thor movie. Costuming, art design and casting all kind of suck at DC. It’s all so goddamned dreary. Did Affleck tank his home-life because of the movie or was it the other way ’round?
I’m not a big DD fan, and the violence of the show is numbing, but damn, Jon Bernthal is hitting it out of the park. It helps that the rest of the show is really well done – loved the 2D scrawler choreography of the biker gang fight.
Anya
@Brachiator: or boring and pointless. My problem with SvB was it was boring and without any story arc. I didn’t understand why BW was doing what he was doing. And the political stuff at the begining didn’t have an actual point. And as you’ve mentioned, LL was a huge disappointment. I just didn’t get what Jesse Eisenberg was trying to do. I usually like this acting style but I didn’t understand his schtick
Brachiator
@Anya:
Arrow has its issues, but the first 2 seasons were solid, and Flash is a blast.
“Batman v Superman” is not the worst movie ever made. But it is wildly inconsistent, and in places just rehashes themes and ideas from Man of Steel without going anywhere new. And the oddest, most disturbing thing of all, in many ways there are not any heroes in this film. One could say that this is a very sophisticated deconstruction of the superhero mythology, but it doesn’t make for a very satisfying night out at the movies.
And long parts of it are just flat out boring. This is not a good thing if you expect casual moviegoers to come out for the next Batman or Justice League movie.
ETA: we both note that the film is boring in parts. This is the kiss of death for a movie.
Technocrat
@Brachiator:
Yeah, I agree. But for me it’s more a matter of thematic space. We already have a Dark Knight. Supes needs his own distinct identity. Personally, I’ve always put him in the “truth and justice” box (with Captain America), but there are other people he could be.
Peale
I was actually hoping that the bad reviews would just keep people away from it altogether. We need a few more absolute super hero bombs.
piratedan
if the book of faces is to be believed, it appears that the Trump candidacy has forced Keith Olbermann back into the trenches and out of his apartment at Trump Towers.
JGabriel
@Anya: People need to stop giving Zack Snyder money to make movies. They could move him into doing web design for metal bands, anti-psychotic medications, and Justin Bieber. And maybe retro-1970’s album cover art, should the need arise.
Mnemosyne
You knew someone was going to do it:
Batman/”Hamilton” mash-up
Go ahead and click. You know you want to.
Anya
@Brachiator: I agree with you about Arrow. I loved S1 and S2 so much but it started going down hill from season 3 because of the heavy focus on Olicity. Season 4’s Arrow is not the same show as season 1 and 2.
About Superman vs Batman, I think it will make a lot of money because a lot of people will want to see it regardless of the bad reviews.
Redshift
@Anya:
They don’t. They’re just using their standard “blame the nearest Democrat” strategy, and hoping no one notices that their argument boils down to, “the real outrage here isn’t that an arsonist burned down an inhabited building, it’s that the fire marshal didn’t prevent it by telling the arsonist that arson is bad. And never mind that we’ve repeatedly called for the fire marshal’s office to be abolished.”
Sadly, they’ve succeeded to some extent. I’m appalled at the number of news stories I’ve seen very seriously discussing how the EPA isn’t perfect.
JGabriel
@Technocrat:
Nebbishy philosopher Friedrich Nietschze by day, Superman/Ubermensch by night?
NotMax
@piratedan
Olbermann publicly announced his intention to vacate his digs at Trump tower about a month ago (maybe 2 months).
curmudgeon
moviebob weighs in:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTKDtoBR-2M
best line, imho:
“watching 4 different screensavers awkwardly f**k.”
patrick II
@Anya:
It reminded me of a bank robber blaming the police because they didn’t stop him soon enough.
Anya
@Adam L Silverman: I think most reasonable people understand this is a diversion, including slightly intelligent wingnuts. I have a twitter follower who’s always retweeting “EPA Knew about Flint” articles. Few days ago, I challenged her and reminded her that the Emergency Manager appointed by Snyder had total control over the city’s government & they lied or hid information from EPA. She had no rebuttle, she just quickly changed the topic and claimed her RTs don’t mean she’s endorsing these posts. In true twitter fashion, I replied with a meme.
Anya
@Redshift: I love that analysis. I wish I can Pin it! I should just create a meme with your words but I am too lazy.
Brachiator
@Anya:
I think it will do OK at the box office, but I don’t know that it will be a massive, Avengers level hit. Second week drop off could tell the tale.
Marc
You folks are just gonna have to wait until 2017 for a good Batman movie:
http://tinyurl.com/jabunvh
WereBear
The sad part is that these movies can be so good. Comics are part of the mythic structure of our times.
Zinsky
I must say, that was a bizarre little piece of animation. Someone has been sniffing too many bath salts and playing too much Metallica at full volume. Whew! Anyway, I was always more of a Marvel comics reader growing up, than DC comics. I think the Batman vs. Superman meme is pretty lame to begin with. For f*cks sake, Superman is invulnerable, has super-strength and X-Ray vision! He could melt Batman from a distance or crush his skull in an instant – before Batman could even react – since he has super speed! Doesn’t seem like much of a fight to me, unless Batman is sitting on a shitload of kryptonite!
raven
@WereBear: Your times. The only ones I ever cared abut were Mad and Zap.
PurpleGirl
Can a FPer put up a new thread, please.
raven
@PurpleGirl: New threads in the morning are automatically set. They’re rarely here.
PaulWartenberg2016
Oh cmon Batman vs Superman wasn’t THAT bad.
Okay, sure it had some continuity issues and plot contrivances, and the mood was unrelentingly dour, and not enough Wonder Woman, and it was all mostly setup for a sequel, and there wasn’t enough humor or fun, and…
Matt McIrvin
@Adam L Silverman: Ooooh! Is Flint Obama’s Katrina now? I’ve lost count.
Miss Bianca
@piratedan:
This thread is so dead but OMG FLAMING CARROT.
Next to Reid Fleming, World’s Toughest Milkman, my all-time favorite comics hero.
mclaren
@Anya:
Zack Snyder isn’t so much to blame as 9/11. If you look at MAN OF STEEL, you’ll see writers and producers in a quandary. They had to produce a film relevant to the post-9/11 era of paranoia and undeclared martial law in Shithole America…but that climate of willful stupidity and self-destructive fear is completely antithetical to the American culture that produced the Superman mythos.
The 1930s American culture went like this: America is a melting pot, we’re all immigrants, justice and liberty are what really matter to us, the average person is basically decent and we can pretty much trust our government because it’s made of people like us.
The post-9/11 American culture goes like this: America is a locked-down garrison state under undeclared martial law with panopticon surveillance, immigrants are suspicious and probably evil and must be purged by any means necessary, security is the only thing we care about and justice and liberty must be trampled underfoot to get it, the average person is probably a terrorist and should shot on sight just in case, and no one should trust anyone anywhere at any time because ZOMG 9/11!!!
You can see what happens when you take a space alien with superpowers and put him down in 1930s America. People accept him, maybe he’s an alien but big deal we’re all the children of immigrants, Superman’s big issue is doing the right thing with all his powers, average people admire Superman because he’s cool and a decent guy, and the government leaves him alone because the people who run America have common sense and decency.
Now take a space alien with superpowers and put him down in post-9/11 America. Totally different result. People hate and fear him, he’s an alien and therefore probably a terrorist and definitely a horrible potential danger, Superman’s big issue is now fending off the attacks and suspicion of his crazily paranoid lynch-mobbing neighbors and friends, the government fears and attacks him and wants to destroy or imprison him because the people who run America are Dick-Cheney-type lunatic imbeciles.
Batman worked well for a debased degraded imbecilic paranoid hate-filled post-9/11 America. Batman is a brooding figure with a dark side, and that fits in perfectly with America’s uncontrollable urge to lynch random passersby in post-9/11 Shithole America: let batman do it! The bizarrely unrealistic supervillains of the Batman universe come straight out of the War on Terror’s ridiculous rogue’s gallery of imaginary supervillains. I’m just waiting for the Department of Homeland Security to announce that they’ve discovered that one of the leaders of Al Qaeda is half-human half-crocodile. The War on Terror is a giant con job designed to turn the American people into whimpering impotent serfs…and it has succeeded beyond Dick Cheney’s wildest dreams.
Blame the collapse and degeneration of America for the collapse and degeneration of Superman movies. America is now a cowering infantile people filled with hysterical paranoia and stupidly self-destructive fear, and we no longer deserve a hero like Superman. As the David Goyer script for MAN OF STEEL points out, America is such a shithole post-9/11 that if a hero like Superman _did_ appear among us today, we’d tear him apart with our bare hands in a frenzy of rage, hatred, fear-maddened suspicion and paranoid dementia.