Trump is so in Cruz’s head right now that Cruz is wasting a town hall presenting a legalistic defense of a lawsuit Donald Trump hasn’t even filed. Cruz just does not know how to handle Trump at all. His biggest problem is that Ted always thought (with good reason), that he would be the biggest bully boy asshole in the room. And then he ran into Trump.
All Trump has to do is now say something like “if he stops lying about me there isn’t going to be a lawsuit” and then to mock him. “How’s this guy going to be President? He’s freaking out about a lawsuit. You see me freaking out? Not me. I’ll just hire the best lawyers and win. Just sad, this Cruz guy.”
It’s funny stuff if you can separate it from the fact that one of them might be President. Cruz made two major miscalculations since hitting the national scene. His history of bullying and hectoring everyone into doing what he wanted made him think he could do the same in the Senate, and didn’t realize he was running into the most obstinate force in the nation. There is nothing better suited to neuter individual thought and rogue actors than the parliamentary procedures of the Senate combined with its good old boy network and traditions and roomful of planetary sized egos. If the Senate were a crock pot, no matter what you ingredients you put in it, eight hours later it would be lumpy oatmeal.
And then he thought he could try the same as President, and ran into a guy who simply does not give a fuck and will out bullshit and out lie him at every turn.
Seebach
Trump is the best thing to happen to the Republican party since Lincoln. He just cannot fucking be president.
JPL
@Seebach: This.
JPL
Cruz is a Christian first and an American second. His wife said that there is only one true god and that’s the Christian god. Trump is the sane one.
Corner Stone
I wonder if Cruz fired the person who had been advising him to not rise to the bait, ever. Because he has had two intemperate meltdowns in the last week. The speaking Spanish reaction to Marco’s jab and now this bizarre reaction to a not really even threatened lawsuit.
Bostonian
It is hard not to think Trump is trolling. He’s a Kaufmanesque parody of a candidate. I wonder if “Never Gonna Let You Down” will be his campaign song. I kinda want him to always run, because even the Democrats won’t say this shit to the Republicans.
Corner Stone
Cruz has *completely* lost the fucking plot here. Wow!
Corner Stone
Cruz’s campaign logo looks like he is trying to promote Calgary to host the winter Olympics.
Ultraviolet Thunder
I could see Cruz in a Charles Stross novel. He’s done sociopaths before in Rule 34 and he’s really good at it.
Botsplainer, Cryptofascist Tool of the Oppressor Class
@Corner Stone:
He’s a brittle fuck who thinks that dorky college debate rules apply to real life. His inner 14 year old victim of countless swirlies, wedgies and random middle and high school ass kickings is squealing “that’s not faaaaaaaaaaair – stop abusing meeeeeeeeeee!!!!” in his brain with each Trump attack.
He can’t help himself – like every dork, he feels like he’s obligated to lash out in response.
Thing is, a bully like Trump knows this, and is getting his jollies trolling Cruz.
Seebach
Trump is a genius troll. I think a lot of stuff he does is off the cuff, but his poll with the Jeb(!) Probably got Jeb to do his gun flip out.
It’s glorious how he just knows how to fuck with people and they’re all such thin skinned narcissists they fall for it. And it’s early yet.
JohnO
That’s the hard part for me right there. I can’t.
Hal
Sometimes I’m amazed at how thin skinned Cruz appears to be. It’s like no one in his childhood ever told him he wasn’t the center of the universe. I just can’t even see him lasting in the general election once when he won’t be completely insulated by constituents who take everything you say at face value like he has in Texas.
Big Ol Hound
@Seebach: Hate to say it but I think Trump’s trolling would have the same effect on either Hillary or Bernie. She might screech back and he would try and use logic while the best response is to ignore him or refuse to get involved because you will never out “one-liner” Trump.
MattF
It’s just… interesting the way the creepiness of Cruz’s personality has gradually revealed itself. He attracts and then repulses potential supporters– they come and then go like shit through the proverbial tin horn. In the end, it’ll be just him and Jesus. For a while, anyhow. At least until Jesus suddenly remembers he had an appointment elsewhere.
amk
“It’s funny stuff if you can separate it from the fact that one of them might be President.”
This.
Ultraviolet Thunder
Trump is like a street fighter at a Judo tournament. They’re appalled at his blatant disregard of the rules, and he’s putting them on their backs before they know what hit them. It’s horrible but you can’t look away because it’s so entertaining.
NonyNony
@Big Ol Hound: They will have Obama on their side.
Obama appears to be able to get into Trump’s head the way that Trump gets into Cruz’s head. I’m not sure that there are many people who can, but Obama can.
Mike J
Cermet
@Hal: @MattF: Well, when it comes to the biggest assholes, you can’t find bigger ones nor spell it without the ass-end of Tex-ass. Cruz just is the best example of that fact.
dmsilev
@NonyNony: Obama’s takedown of Trump at the White House Correspondents Dinner was a thing of beauty. Especially since Trump was there and we got to see his reaction unfiltered. I wonder whether that was what pushed Trump into actually running.
yellowdog
It occurred to me a couple of days ago that we are lucky that Cruz has a face to match his personality and politics. What if that slime came wrapped up in a handsomish Rubio type package? Or maybe his personality created that face.
scav
@NonyNony: a fair bit of evidence should be accumulating about the Trumpster’s basic repetore of moves and buttons. I’m not entirely convinced he’s got that many beyond an utter lack of brake on his mouth powered in part by a fawning audience (if necessary, an imaginary one). It may come natural to Obama, but a little study and practice might help with others.
Botsplainer, Cryptofascist Tool of the Oppressor Class
Wonder if Cruz’ Texas supporters are looking to replace him?
Iowa Old Lady
Trump is hard to run against because he’s so unpredictable. At least, to me he is. Maybe there are professional campaign people out there analyzing him and figuring out what works.
ThresherK (GPad)
@Hal: Once again, I humbly suggest that Texas is not a proving ground for the GOP.
A Latino RW Christianist male (not too dark, mind you) getting elected to statewide office isn’t so much of a feat.
See,with slight alteration, Perry and Shrub. And Phil (Mr. Charm) Graham.
The Golux
Did the debate remind anyone else of the food fight in “Animal House”? Trump doing Belushi as a zit would have been exactly in the spirit of the event.
Seebach
@Big Ol Hound: I agree. Neither Bernie nor Clinton seem to be able to let insults or perceived slights go unanswered.
yellowdog
@Big Ol Hound: Watch it with the ‘screech back’ characterization. That comes awfully close to misogyny to my ears. And Hillary has amply shown her ability to keep cool under fire (see Benghazi hearings).
dedc79
@JPL: I’m not even convinced it’s genuine with him, but real or fake, it’s terrifying.
dedc79
So most of the conversation to date has been about whether Trump would end up running as a third party candidate. Now that he looks increasingly likely to lock up the GOP nomination, I’m wondering whether Cruz will try to go third party. He certainly has the ego to try.
WarMunchkin
Agree on the folks saying Obama is the only one who seems to get how to perform a Trump takedown. I’m not looking forward to Trump being the candidate who can say that Bush lied us into Iraq while Hillary can’t. Our country is too fucked up to deserve Barack Obama as President. Don’t know how we ran into that stroke of luck.
Corner Stone
@Big Ol Hound:
“screech back”? Like nails on a chalkboard?
Frank Wilhoit
“… eight hours later it would be the result of leaving lumpy oatmeal in a crock pot for a year, green fuzz and all.”
FIFY
.
boatboy_srq
@dedc79: THAT would be absolutely delicious.
Capri
@Big Ol Hound: Don’t know about Bernie, but I think Hilary would handle Trump with no problem. She’s been dealing with narcissistic men her entire life after all. Her first reaction when asked a tough question is to laugh. I think she’d laugh in Trump’s face, which would completely unhinge him.
Iowa Old Lady
@Seebach: I don’t know. Clinton did well in the Benghazi hearings. And in 2008, she handled some press things quite well. I remember one reporter asking her how she’d respond to the fact that people didn’t like her. She said “That hurts my feelings,” which was a great answer. It was Obama who made an unforced error by interjecting “You’re likeable enough.”
Mnemosyne
@NonyNony:
You beat me to it. If Hillary and/or Bernie listen to Obama, they’ll be fine, because Obama knows how to out-troll Trump.
I actually wouldn’t be surprised if Hillary has had in-person interaction with The Donald before since she was his state’s senator for, what, six years? Eight? I’m too lazy to look it up.
elftx
When Trump told Cruz “yeah, you’re and adult” at the debate the other night it was glorious.
He is force feeding this guy New York Values.
mapaghimagsik
@yellowdog:
Her expression during those hearings was priceless. If that expression got out in a debate with Trump…it would be pretty great. Its like she breaks the fourth wall.
John O
If I were advising Hillary in a debate against Trump I would tell her to steer as much as she can towards Civics 101 classes and ask Il Douche as many questions from the material as she can. The lack of any clue how government actually functions is an Achilles-grade flaw in the Donald, IMO. (Worse in Carson, I know.)
amk
@WarMunchkin:
“Our country is too fucked up to deserve Barack Obama as President.”
This too. A thousand times.
Cermet
@Corner Stone: Oh, that’s right. Hillray is one of those …females. Screeching and raw emotion is all a vagina allows … . While Bernie, with a penis will use self control and logic as that male genitalia demands … . Someone is really stupid enough to say this here? Really? This makes tRump look smart.
Mnemosyne
@JPL:
With “sane” being a relative term, of course. The rodeo clown in a group of party clowns is still a clown.
Brent
@NonyNony: I disagree. Its actually not difficult to get into Trump’s head at all. He probably has the thinnest skin of them all and thats really saying something. His whole presentation mode is about reacting to every perceived slight with maximal butthurt. Its just that he happens to be working a consituency that is essentially of the same temperament in this regard.
They, Trump and his voters, feed off of a perpetual resentment for the lack of respect they perceive for their special greatness. To a wide swath of the voting public this is correctly seen as utterly ridiculous. I guess we will find out soon if Obama is right that that swath is enough to prevent Trump from ever winning the Presidency.
Trinity
“If the Senate were a crock pot, no matter what you ingredients you put in it, eight hours later it would be lumpy oatmeal.” John Cole – this statement is gold!
Now, please put up a Steve pic and totally make my day.
kthxbai
Peale
@Corner Stone: Whereas Bernie, known for his Vulcan temperament, would simply list out bullet points.
Regardless, I don’t think its a trap to push back against Trump. It seemed to kill both Gore and Dukakis to act like “no one will ever believe this bullshit about me.”
Luthe
@Hal: His daddy raised him to believe he was going to be the anointed savior of the US. So yes, he does think the world revolves around him..
SiubhanDuinne, Annoying Scoundrel
@Mnemosyne:
Well, we know she went to at least one of his weddings.
Corner Stone
@John O:
Who is the audience for that, though? The people who might vote for Trump already discount that he’s not a wonk, and will “hire great, great, smart people” to do those arcane things for his admin. And the people that might vote HRC already like her wonky props. HRC won’t win any votes taking that approach and she won’t turn any proto-Trump voters away from him.
Making Trump look weak at a 12yr old level is the way to chip off his base. Those people don’t understand govt either, and tune out people who do.
Corner Stone
@Peale: Also see President John Kerry.
Jim Kakalios
@Big Ol Hound: Hillary should say that after the last debate, she picked up the wrong gloves and wondered why they were so tight, until she realized they were Donald’s!
John O
@Brent:
Well said. And I’m just not sure that swath is wide enough given the hatred out there for HRC and her subsequently low ceiling. Also George W. Bush, twice
It’s fun to run the Narcissistic Personality Disorder list against our list of current Presidential candidates.
Peale
@Brent: Yep. Trump is as openly neurotic as anyone who’s been a candidate in my lifetime. Every little statement is processed as “winning” or “losing” and if not winning then losing and we can’t be losing and let it go because…
He’s running as a very wealthy George Costanza.
rikyrah
This is the best explanation that I’ve seen as to why Jeb is still in the race from another blog:
Cermet
@Corner Stone: As some here know, Hillary knows tRump rather well both from a long association and now, on the political circus … I mean circuit. She can handle him in any debate but I’m not so sure he’d survive her attacks nor know how to handle them in a live debate. She cut to pieces the thugs in the House on that committee.
dww44
@dmsilev: I’ve also entertained the possibility that Trump’s entering the GOP Presidential race is sort of a payback to Obama’s epic take down a few years back. Obama’s remarks yesterday, though, just gave Trump one more opportunity to say how “ineffective and weak” the President is. At the same time I’m not so sure that even Obama is so devious as to say that the American people would never elect Trump just to goad the GOP into nominating him, thereby making a Democrat more likely to win the White House.
Tegdirb
@Big Ol Hound:
Uh-huh.
Mnemosyne
@John O:
Bush only got a majority of votes once, in 2004. He got 500K fewer votes than Gore did in 2000. Which is why Garry Trudeau always drew him as an asterisk.
John O
@Corner Stone: One approach does not preclude the other. It’s easy to get under Trump’s skin and every angle works for me. Not so easy to rattle HRC, who has taken a beating unlike any Trump has ever dreamed of taking.
I think the American public could use a little civics lesson on an almost constant basis.
In any case, I’d rather see Trump than Cruz win the nomination by a mile and for several reasons.
chopper
cruz also thought he’d own the debate stage cause he was such a great debater in college. never mind the fact that college debate club contests are won on points. either way, his college debating skills are meaningless, even detrimental, on the GOP stage especially with trump calling you a pussy over and over again and getting applause for it.
chopper
@Corner Stone:
god, that spanish was awful. not senor bloombergo level awful but just shit. especially in his crappy cornpone drawl. reminded me of peggy hill.
John O
@Mnemosyne:
And I say, so? 2000 shouldn’t have been close. Proof that America is stupid really lies in 2004. And highly suggestive that anything can happen, because it already has.
Like I said, HRC has a very low ceiling of support.
boatboy_srq
That almost makes me feel sorry for Trump.
cmorenc
@yellowdog:
Rubio IS but a slicker, smoother version of Cruz, without as much raw intellectual firepower, but with an equally determined, ruthless sense of himself as the self-anointed child of high destiny, and with a much more attractive (by the standards of what a conservative republican should look like) physical package. If Rubio was smarter intellectually and wasn’t so easily rattled under stress, he’d be a lot more dangerous than he is.
Heliopause
I think your analysis here is mostly correct and I’ve wondered on more than one occasion about what this portends for 2020. Assume the GOP loses the White House this time around; what will their contenders have to say four years from now in order to get any traction? It’s basically just incessant rage rhetoric that has gotten Trump and Cruz to the top of the GOP polls, and if that doesn’t win the general then where do they go next? Dubya running as some sort reasonable conservative seems like such ancient history now, doesn’t it.
boatboy_srq
@chopper: And with that, we have a new Bond villian: Sourpussy.
Wapiti
@SiubhanDuinne, Annoying Scoundrel:
She can bring that up. You know, I’ve been to one of Mr. Trump’s weddings… Gaudy, but fun. Maybe he’s compensating for being a short-fingered guy.
? Martin
Nobody here really writing about it, but the FBI vs Apple situation presents an interesting challenge. The media is presenting this as a standard subpoena, that there is some information that Apple has access to that the FBI wants. But that’s not really what this is about. Apple has no ability to unlock the phone used by the SB shooters in the sense that is being presented.
Instead, the FBI is asking Apple to write a modified version of iOS that can be pushed to the phone that will bypass the built-in feature where enough unsuccessful guesses at a password will securely wipe the device. That would then presumably allow the FBI to brute-force attack the phone password.
Apple’s concern is that once this software is written (or compelled to be written), it cannot be unwritten – that Apple loses some of their ability to ensure that modification doesn’t get pushed to every iPhone. I don’t think they mean that in the technical sense, but the political sense. The threat from US legislators has been that Apple needs to build a backdoor into all of their phones so that the FBI can unlock when they get a subpoena. The consequence of not doing that would be to ban their devices for sale in the US. Apple’s questions is therefore: “Does China get to make the same demand of us? And if not, why not?”. The consequence would be the same – banning iPhones from China, soon to be Apple’s largest market. Does the US government want the Chinese government to have the ability to unlock any US iPhone? In the case of this modified iOS that the courts are compelling Apple to write, could the Chinese government compel Apple to push that software out to all Chinese phones? Could they compel Apple to push it out to all US phones?
This is not about unlocking a single phone, but the ability to unlock all of them, and who gets to wield that ability. Its a big question. It should be generating a lot more interest.
Helen
@John O:
This. This right here. Every time Trump says something like “I will make our military the strongest in the world” I so want the moderator to ask “And how much do we spend on the military now?” Because Trump does not have a clue.
Fair Economist
Jeb says he had foreign policy experience as the Commander-in-Chief of Florida.
He could see Cuba from his house!
Smiling Mortician
@rikyrah: This strikes me as nonsensical. If Jeb thinks he can buy Ted’s loyalty, he’s even dumber than I think he is, which is already pretty dumb.
Belafon
@Big Ol Hound: Like the Benghazi hearing, then.
schrodinger's cat
Your description of the Senate is pretty funny but there is nothing remotely funny about Trump or Cruz.
Luthe
@John O: No, 2004 is proof bigots vote in droves. It was the year of all the state level “gay marriage is ICKY” amendments.
bystander
Cole’s agent should be peddling this post. It reads like a prospectus for the biography. Unauthorized, of course.
FlipYrWhig
@John O:
Gore: And I specifically would like to know whether Governor Bush will support the Dingle-Norwood bill, which is the main one pending.
FlipYrWhig
@Helen: “Not enough!”
Mnemosyne
@John O:
We all know at this point that Jeb cheated in order to get the victory for his brother, so it’s hard for me to say that American voters are stupid and always pick the wrong person. They picked the right one in 2000, and dishonest people changed the result to suit themselves.
Amir Khalid
Off topic:
Let Parmesan cheese eaters beware.
raven
Did you hear that shit where Trump said Obama was lucky he didn’t run against him in the last election. Yea, he was lucky ok.
catclub
@Seebach:
There is one notable exception. He resides in the White House. He trolled Trump.
catclub
@Helen:
Better yet ask it like this: “So we will double the defense budget from $.9 Trillion to $1.8 Trillion?”
Helen
@FlipYrWhig:
Yeah and after the third “not enough” the moderator should then say “so you don’t know” and move on. This is about getting into Trump’s head. Something got into his head at the last debate and he lost his shit.
More of that please.
qwerty42
Trump might be the only way the calcified GOP “establishment” can ever possibly be displaced by anything not dogmatic neo-con, authoritarian, racist, plutocratic, and any number of other odd/dreadful things. I don’t expect to like what emerges, but the current nitwits have pretty much run their party into the ground to such an extent you’re surprised to hear them talk or act sanely.
But Trump can’t be President. He’d be a disaster.
Luthe
@catclub: You can’t be thin-skinned and win the White House as a black man. Hell, you can’t be thin-skinned as a black man anywhere in America. Trump was facing off against an expert, not an over-privileged set of assholes.
It’s the same thing with Hillary. She’s lived through so much shit thrown at her that Trump is less than nothing.
Iowa Old Lady
OT: I see Morning Joe is going to do a town hall with just Trump. Won’t they run into problems with the equal time rules?
Corner Stone
There is no wonky way to get at Trump. The man hasn’t uttered a policy position yet, and he sure as hell isn’t about to start now. His voters don’t give a flip about that shit, and R voters in general have no freakin clue how govt actually works.
Corner Stone
@Helen:
Trump maneuvered that last debate like a guy with a whip in the center ring of the rainbow tent. Cruz lost his shit and Bush was flabbergasted a few times.
satby
@Corner Stone: this. In fact ignorance is a point of pride for tRump voters.
Smedley Darlington Prunebanks (formerly Mumphrey, et al.)
@Iowa Old Lady:
I bet a psychologist could predict fairly well what’s likely to set him off. I don’t think a guy like that is all that complicated. And, while it’s true that you don’t want to get overconfident in dealing with him, I think it would be fairly easy to out think him, and subtly nudge him into situations where he does himself more harm than good.
Luthe
@catclub: No, no, what you want is to attack the implicit assumption behind Trump’s statement. “You say to want to make our military ‘the strongest in the world.’ Are you saying it isn’t already the strongest? That our fighting men and women aren’t the best trained and best equipped fighting force on the planet?”
Corner Stone
Why in the world would Nikki Haley endorse Rubio-mentum?
satby
I thought this post was going to be about funny stuff that happens to us though, not an election post :(
I got stories…
satby
@Corner Stone: because she’s a good little soldier for the Republican establishment?
Botsplainer, Cryptofascist Tool of the Oppressor Class
@? Martin:
The ever shifting goalposts, all so neckbeards can feel secure in their porn viewing habits, militia extremists and Islamist terror groups can feel like their communications in furtherance of their plots are secure, and RWNJs can say “n***ers suck” on the Internet without fear of discovery.
Note that this was the dude’s work phone. Employer permits unlocking, and the FBI (which owns it now) permits the unlocking and a court has been presented sufficient info that it issued an order mandating the unlocking. Like I said – the goalposts shifted.
MattF
@Iowa Old Lady: I thought ‘equal time’ rules were abandoned long ago. Some ancient rubbish about how having a license from the FCC meant that you had to respect ‘public interest’…
Iowa Old Lady
@Smedley Darlington Prunebanks (formerly Mumphrey, et al.): True. I guess that moves the uncertainty to predicting what will do Trump more harm than good because so far any preposterous thing he says just elevates his numbers.
Though maybe that wouldn’t hold true in a general election.
Jeffro
@MattF:
that’s too good not to copy and share…I’ll try my best to always give you credit!
Jeffro
@dedc79:
He has it in him to tell the Establishment guy, in Cleveland: “put me on the ticket as VP and I’ll get my supporters to put you over the top on the second ballot”.
<>
Mike J
@Botsplainer, Cryptofascist Tool of the Oppressor Class: I would be shocked if the NSA couldn’t get into a phone that they have physical access to. Copy the data, run it on an emulator, let it wipe. Assume the user was as dumb as most people, it shouldn’t take more than a few seconds to pop out a four letter password, a few minutes for a 5 letter, or a few hours for six. Most people don’t want to type in 14 characters, mixed case with punctuation and numbers every time they pick up their phone.
Iowa Old Lady
@MattF: Wikipedia says it’s still in effect.
Origuy
@Iowa Old Lady: Yes, but it only applies to broadcast stations. Morning Shmoe is on MSNBC, a basic cable channel.
gene108
@Heliopause:
Bush, Jr. HAD TO run as a reasonable “compassionate conservative”, because, if he went ran on the current GOP platform of tax give aways to the rich and starving the poor, he would have been crushed by Gore.
Back in 2000, the enough remnants of the FDR coalition still existed that most people, both Republicans and Democrats, believed government should work to make most people’s lives better.
The current GOP platform of IGMFY wouldn’t have worked.
The fact someone is going to get 45% of the vote, at a minimum, on an explicit platform of IGMFY, just shows how unhinged a section of American voters has become.
MattF
@Mike J: The iPhone’s passcode is four digits. The catch is that you only get a few tries before the OS decides you really don’t know what it is.
Ultraviolet Thunder
@Mike J:
Apple is saying no, they’d have to create a custom OS to get that done. Then this highly dangerous Ebola-like OS could escape into the wild and we’d never be safe from Chinese hackers.
Which could be horseshit, but I kinda agree the NSA shouldn’t have a backdoor. People more clever than the NSA would find a way to pick the lock.
Aleta
Trump is a Hollywood carnie barker out of a Toby Tyler movie playing against yet another sad-eyed psychopath.
Iowa Old Lady
@Origuy: Ah. Good catch.
MattF
@Ultraviolet Thunder: And just how much do you think an iPhone backdoor app would be worth to criminals and scammers? The mind reels.
Aleta
@Aleta: Born Too Late https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4eKw3BEnf3U
Frankensteinbeck
@Big Ol Hound:
Hillary has sat through an eleven hour(!) insult session in the Benghazi hearings, came off as cool and collected and just a little tired of dealing with morons the whole time, and the near-universal perception afterwards was that they lost, and lost badly. On that evidence, Trump would be running his head into a steel wall. Bernie, on the other hand, flusters easily and has a tendency to shout and get paranoid even when things are going his way.
Mike J
@MattF:
But if you run it on an emulator you can let it wipe and copy the data on again. Lather rinse repeat.
With physical access to the device, there is very little that would be uncrackable.
Corner Stone
Does anyone have a rough idea how much actual money Trump has spent on his campaign so far? From what I could find skimming the interwebs it looks like less than $20M raised by Feb 1 ?
Ultraviolet Thunder
@Mike J:
Maybe they can crack it but they want Apple to provide a more convenient method that they can deploy generally in future cases.
Mike J
@Ultraviolet Thunder:
It’s not the NSA asking for it. It’s the FBI. The NSA could probably already do this. Or more likely, probably already has done this. But they’re not going to go around talking in public about what they can and can’t read.
CONGRATULATIONS!
Ted Cruz will never be president.
Donald Trump has an outside chance. But I feel pretty OK about our odds.
opiejeanne
@Amir Khalid: My husband was just talking about cellulose in cheese, Thanks for the link.
? Martin
@Ultraviolet Thunder:
Why is it horseshit? RSA SecureID keys were hacked – and that was a company whose sole existence was dedicated to not getting hacked. Zero-day exploits for iOS will get you a solid 7-figure bounty. Knowing that a backdoor existed for iPhone would result in unprecedented effort for getting access to that source code. Intel and Sony have had their backdoors leaked. Cisco, Juniper. Companies that are hired to secure government information keep getting hacked. Why would Apple be any different?
@Mike J: They’d have to copy the data directly off of the flash memory, and it may not be possible to load that through a sufficient emulator. Apple designs their own CPUs, their own flash controllers, and at least the hardware security elements like TouchID don’t even go through the OS – they talk directly to the secure controller embedded in the CPU, and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if the hardware level encryption did the same thing because Apple designed every component in that chain.
Overall I agree that it’s foolish to doubt the NSAs capabilities to break into this thing, and the request is far too convenient given many DHS officials calling for Congress to compel Apple (et al) to build in back doors. But I also wouldn’t underestimate Apple’s ability to secure these devices in ways that would be truly difficult.
Gin & Tonic
@Botsplainer, Cryptofascist Tool of the Oppressor Class: From what I can figure out, the San Bernardino County Dept of Health, or whatever agency it was that guy worked for, didn’t set the phone up so they could unlock it. Pretty stupid on their part. But I’m on Apple’s side on this.
Regnad Kcin
@Mike J: this
Origuy
@MattF: Since iOS 8, you can make the password longer and use letters. I doubt many people have, though. Does Apple have a way to push updates onto a phone, ala Windows 10? I haven’t seen it happen. They just keep bugging you to accept the update until you give up, as far as I know.
coin operated
@? Martin:
This. I’m following the case with much interest. It hasn’t been on the radar very much and needs to be.
CONGRATULATIONS!
All Hillary has to do, first time Donald goes off on her, is simply say “hey, this guy’s been giving me money for years. He’s a good friend of mine. The best. We go way back. So what’s the problem now, Donald? You ditch your friends when they can’t do favors for you anymore?”
He will lose his shit, guaranteed.
What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?
I wouldn’t say Trump is the only guy who can out-lie Cruz. Trump is actually telling some truths that no one else in the GOP dare speak, such as that George W. Bush was POTUS on 9/11/2001 and “that’s not keeping us safe.” He also wants to raise taxes (albeit only on hedge fund managers) and protect rather than “reform” Social Security. It will be interesting to see how that plays over the next few weeks…because if unorthodox thoughts gain traction with the GOP base, well, there are wedges just waiting to be driven. They’d need but a tap to go straight through.
Amir Khalid
@Corner Stanone:
I heard he was spending his own Vitamin M, which he has plenty of. And that he hasn’t needed to spend on TV advertising, given his talent for making news.
Gin & Tonic
@? Martin:
They’ve unrecoverably bricked customers’ phones who replaced cracked screens at unauthorized repair centers, because the screen and the Home button (TouchID) are part of the same component, and the phone thought this was an attempt at unauthorized access.
gvg
@rikyrah: I don’t think so. Jeb and Kaisch together don’t amount to a hill of beans. It’s still not enough to explain it.
All I have is the idea that JEB has unrealistic idea’s about how people view his family now. It would be only human to avoid knowing something that unpleasant. I couldn’t believe he actually chose to run. I knew the name was still toxic and wondered at the kind of advice he was getting. I was shocked that so many rich donors and media fools acted like he was such a sure thing…and then the polls showed I was right and not all those wise people. I never thought he had a chance even when he was raking in the money. He should not have run for anything for 20 years and if he ever did again it should have been something more specialized like Commissioner of agriculture. since he did run and since the rich clueless ones gave him lots of money I would say it’s obvious they don’t understand the real world and his actions will remain mysterious to us.
Imagine if you child turned out to be a murderer. Do you think you would accept that easily and also accept you shouldn’t go ahead with your own ambitions that depend on being popular? I think it’s something like that, but I will never really understand them.
? Martin
@Ultraviolet Thunder:
Oh, and I don’t think the concern is over Chinese hackers so much, rather that what standing would Apple have to deny a formal request from the Chinese government for exactly the same tool? The only way to deny such a request is to make it impossible to comply with such a request – which is what Apple at least has set out to do. It’s not even clear that they can push an update to that device which would disable the requested features.
And I will bet you every penny I have that a meeting is happening in Cupertino some time today to discuss how to secure future iPhones in such a way that Apple could never comply with such an order, if it turns out it is possible for them to comply with it today.
Mike J
Speaking of the surveillance state,corporate edition:
Villago Delenda Est
The Donald is ranting about Lindsey Graham, about how Graham knows nothing about the military, etc.
Um, Donald, hate to break this to you, but Lindsey Graham served six years on active duty as a USAF JAG officer. Now, admittedly, that’s not like being a Ranger or SEAL, and the USAF is the Country Club of the services, but it’s a damn sight more military experience than you got at some military academy as a teen.
Corner Stone
@Amir Khalid: That was kind of along the lines of why I asked. He’s getting yooge chunks of voters and spending less per vote than any candidate, probably ever in modern elections.
All the free media he gets *cough* MSNBC for fucking one *cough* means he can repurpose all that fluff for next to nothing.
Gin & Tonic
@Mike J: Jumping the gun.
Bubblegum Tate
@? Martin:
The government also gets to say, “We’re not asking for a back door. We’re just asking for a front door that opens up if you knock on it enough.” A distinction without a difference, but it’ll probably play for a little bit in today’s soundbite culture.
And beyond that, apparently the FBI’s directory has essentially said, “Hey, if you think we’re bad about snooping into your personal data, you should see what Google/Apple/Facebook/etc. are doing!” Which, of course, is law enforcement’s strategy: “Let private companies do all the data-gathering (always with the consent of the individual people as implied or explicitly stated in the ToS), and then we’ll just get what we need from them when we need it.”
But law enforcement has run up against a problem: Its smartphone forensics abilities have been vastly outpaced by smartphone technology. A subject’s smartphone is unbelievably valuable from a law enforcement standpoint, but the ability to access that smartphone is more and more constrained.
Hell, I recently sat on a jury for a case that involved smartphone forensics (not as primary evidence, really, but as strong supporting evidence). The crime was committed back in 2012, and the investigator who testified essentially admitted that they were fortunate to be able to brute-force this guy’s phone because they can’t really do that anymore thanks to things like Apple’s “10 failed password attempts, and the phone is auto-wiped” feature. Law enforcement is trying to catch up to current smartphone capabilities; this is one way they (law enforcement agencies) are trying to do that. But it’s a very, very thorny area.
? Martin
@gvg:
Not just Jeb, but a reasonable slice of the GOP. My mom is part of the ‘he kept us safe’ brigade. I’ve largely determined that at that point in time she needed someone to offload her insecurities onto and believing in GWB did that for her. But I don’t even think it’s the majority of likely Republican voters that feel that way. Among the general population it’s a deep minority viewpoint, but they’ve parroted it so reliably for the last decade that they believe it’s widely held – because Fox is ground truth.
raven
@Villago Delenda Est: Damning with faint praise!
gvg
@Heliopause: I am hoping by 2020 Fox will have cracked up. I really think they are the main driver of the always ratchet up the rage junkies. Murdoch specifically. he is getting older. I have read mentions that all kinds of factions about future control are developing. Fox hasn’t been really sure about which candidate to support which has been a factor in the division of votes. There are internet blogs but the way they get real influence is Fox repeating their ideas. If fox changes leadership things will change. I am not sure what or how but different I think and that will disrupt the smooth seeming GOP machine we used to see.
Corner Stone
The last fucking thing I want to see between now and the election is Joe Biden one on one interview.
jl
No time to read comments, so apologies if someone else linked to these polls.
I heard on the news that the main hookers association in NV is going for HRC, I think over 90 percent of NV hookers.
‘Hookers for Hillary’, and they are using their professional services for outreach.
Coincidence that the polling goes for HRC?
And, exactly where was the Baud! 2016! campaign on this? What a blow.
PPP Polls: Clinton Has Double-Digit Leads In 9 Of 12 Early March Primaries
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/polltracker/clinton-leads-12-states-ppp
Mike J
@Bubblegum Tate:
In a criminal trial where you have the person who knows the password in custody, you do exactly what you would do with a safe. You ask the court for an order demanding they hand over the password and let them sit in jail until they produce it.
Frankensteinbeck
@gvg:
I think they are filling an existing need, but in filling it they may make it worse. Like scratching an itch.
Iowa Old Lady
@jl:
You had to go there, didn’t you?
Amir Khalid
@Mike J:
Wouldn’t that fall foul of the constitutional right not to incriminate oneself?
Steve in the ATL
@John O:
You guys are assuming that the vote counts were accurate; Ohio in particular looked shady as hell.
jl
@? Martin:
” Apple’s concern is that once this software is written (or compelled to be written), it cannot be unwritten ”
Apple thinks that they are so special that only they can write it? How do they know hackers have not written it already?
I don’t follow this issue much, but from what I understand from the news, the arguments I’ve heard from Apple’s arguments seem weak to me.
If it is a matter of requiring tech companies to be able to provide access to specific phones that are known to have been involved in specific crimes, I think a case can be made for fed request.
jl
@Iowa Old Lady: Wasn’t me. That was exactly what the news report said. Hookers are texting their clients after a business transaction to ask if they would consider contributing to HRC with some kind of link or number (I am not sure how to do that in a text, though)
Edit: Oh, it was the word ‘blow’. I guess I am bad for posting that news on the BJ blog?
Edit2: well it was a blow, since it concerns one of Baud! 2016!’s signature issues, along with booze, gambling, and endless party.
Bubblegum Tate
@Mike J:
Why wouldn’t the guy who’s already in jail anyway give you 10 incorrect passwords, causing the phone to auto-wipe?
A Ghost To Most
@Steve in the ATL:
Thanks,Diebold!
randy khan
@? Martin:
I might consider taking that bet, if only because I think it’s likely that meeting took place the day the FBI made the request to the court.
I think part of Apple’s defense here is that it’s unreasonable to ask it to essentially re-write the OS, or at least big parts of it, to respond to a single request, which is what the FBI says this is. The All Writs Act does have some kind of reasonableness component to it, so that probably matters.
I’d also add that, by this point, the FBI has had complete access to the guy’s social media accounts, his phone records (including texts), his Internet use patterns and a whole lot more through subpoenas to service providers. The likelihood that there’s much on the phone that will lead them to other people actually isn’t very high. What’s really going on here is that the FBI is trying to use a very high profile case where it looks sympathetic to get Apple to roll over, so it can use the precedent in later cases.
Keith G
@? Martin: Thanks. When this news popped up, I hoped there might be a break in the highly useful and continually enlightening campaign blogging to talk about this.
retiredeng
@Botsplainer, Cryptofascist Tool of the Oppressor Class: Watch the beginning of Louis CK: Chewed Up for how to treat dickheads like Cruz. “Shut up f****”, etc.
randy khan
@jl:
If the Feds are saying that they need Apple to do it, I think that means that no other tools are available. (Perhaps the NSA has done it, but they don’t really share very much.)
And, honestly, I don’t know what you mean by saying that Apple’s arguments are weak. Are you saying that it’s okay for the federal government to require a private company to re-write its operating software – apparently without payment – so that the government can get access to the data on a single phone? Are you saying that you know it would be easy for Apple to do that, when Apple says it wouldn’t be? What exactly do you think is weak about the arguments?
And keep in mind that Apple has made a big deal about privacy and security. It’s a key selling point for features like Apple Pay and Touch ID, after all.
rikyrah
Residents of the State of Illinois:
TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF VOTING!!!
Not registered to vote?
DOES. NOT.MATTER.
You can register to vote and vote at the same time.
It’s called Grace Period voting.
YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE.
For Registered voters:
EARLY VOTING BEGINS FEBRUARY 29TH!!!!
So, load up the car full of those non-voters and get thee to a Grace Period location.
Villago Delenda Est
@A Ghost To Most: Diebold got out of the vote machine business, as their rep there was damaging their bread and butter, ATMs, where accuracy is not just a slogan.
Steve in the ATL
@Corner Stone:
Seems to be a popular thing for SC politicians the last couple of days. Almost if it were a coordinated effort by a large, well established political organization….
Iowa Old Lady
@jl: I have to say I love the idea of Hookers for Hillary.
John D
@jl: Well, then, the government can go get those others to write it.
Betty Cracker
@? Martin: Ha! Just put up a post about it before I saw this…
Bubblegum Tate
@randy khan:
And Apple’s getting quite the free advertising about the robustness of its security!
One technical question I haven’t seen answered: Even if Apple’s engineers can and do write this version of iOS that the FBI wants, how, exactly are they supposed to load it onto a phone to which they don’t have access?
Isobel
American politics is an amazing spectator sport. But only when one doesn’t have to live with the consequences.
jl
@randy khan:
I think Comey’s argument has merit, that it is a bad idea to have products that cannot possibly be searched if they are involved in a crime. Like an automobile trunk that is impossible to open. From what I heard on the news, Apple was saying that if they altered their software to bypass the autowipe, that would open backdoors that would endanger their software and phones to hackers. How would it do that if it were something that would only be used on specific pieces of equipment in response to specific court orders for specific cases?
And, yes, suppose the NSA has written it. Why does Apple think that if they don’t write it no one else will? Hackers don’t share much either, and much of what they do does not come to light until they have used the tools that they have developed repeatedly and caused great harm.
” And keep in mind that Apple has made a big deal about privacy and security. It’s a key selling point for features like Apple Pay and Touch ID, after all. ”
So what? No compelling public interest can touch Apple’s marketing or profits? Allowing abusive contracting practices in poor countries is a key selling point too for many companies, since it keeps prices lower and profits higher than otherwise. Is that off limits too?
Look, I didn’t say that the feds should prevail in this particular case. I will let the lawyers here at BJ way in on the merits of that. I am just saying that I find a lot of knee-jerk and unreflective acceptance of the techn industry’s position on their privacy and encryption policies, and that I think that the arguments I heard from Apple on the news today seem weak and besides the point, or special pleading.
Calouste
@Amir Khalid: Parmesan cheese is wood pulp. The real stuff is called Parmigiano-Reggiano.
jl
@John D: More knees jerking.
retiredeng
@Jim Kakalios: Hillary could ask Trump if he has trouble finding gloves that fit well. He’s pretty thin skinned about his small hands.
J R in WV
@Amir Khalid:
Wow, what a surprise! And Extra Virgin First Pressing Olive Oil is often party rape-seed (canola) oil. I try to go by taste, lately I’ve started buying California Oilve Oil.
I buy Italian hard cheese in big hard chunks – and grate it myself. I don’t think the chunks are easily adulterated with filler. The amount of filler was amazing, though.
And thanks for the heads up, Amir.
fuckwit
@yellowdog: That would have been Ronald Wilson Reagan
geg6
@Big Ol Hound:
You might want to re-think this entire phrase.
Bill Arnold
@Ultraviolet Thunder:
It sounds like there’s no lock in this case probably, perhaps just a constant “10” for a login failure max count in the source code (and in the binaries). Apple is essentially saying “if you want in, please break in yourselves”, and the FBI is whining “too hard”, as in “too much code to reverse engineer”. I don’t know how hard it is to push patched binaries. Does iOS insist on cryptographically signed updates? etc.
@jl:
Hackers only come into play if they have the device in question and the resources to do a password exhaustion attack directly on an only-slightly-modified phone. The other concern is that once a precedent is set, anyone, anywhere apple does business, could make such a request. At any rate, likelihood is that somebody will eventually (maybe soon) start offering this as (part of) a data recovery service, so make your passwords strong (if you have something to hide. :-) ) (FWIW My current standard for weak passwords is 3 random words plus a few extra numeric digits. Medium is longer, strong a lot longer.)
Corner Stone
@J R in WV:
My goodness! The things one learns at Balloon-Juice!
catclub
@Bill Arnold:
I sure hope so.
fuckwit
@CONGRATULATIONS!: She’s so poised and has so much experience in the nationall scene, specifically with dealing with assholes, that I think she’d destroy him in a debate. Plus, she’s sat across the table as SecState with actual dictators, much bigger thugs thatn Troll. She can handle it.
What worries me a bit against Troll is my guy Bernie. A Bernie vs Troll debate would be two angry, loud, old New Yorkers screaming at each other. It’d sure be entertaining though, and I’m sure Bernie would win, but it’d be ugly to watch.
? Martin
@jl:
Yes, only they can write it. After all, they designed the hardware that it runs on.
And evidence that hackers haven’t already done it is that the FBI can’t unlock the phone. Who the hell do you think pays millions of dollars for zero-day exploits anyway?
J R in WV
@Iowa Old Lady:
Reagan (I think) did away with those a long time ago. That’s why Faux News isn’t illegal.
Now THAT would be a winning campaign issue, reinstate the fairness doctrine, and eat Fox News from the inside.
fuckwit
@Iowa Old Lady: Troll is eminently predictable. In any given situation, he will do what will piss off and shock the maximum number of people in attendance. That’s how he operates. He’s a troll!!! He cares not a whit about policy, consistency, facts, consequences, ethics, or other people. All he wants is to be the biggest bully, the most vicious character, in the room.
Occasionally, facts are useful to him (like, pointing out that 9/11 was Shrub’s fault and that the Iraq war was a mistake). But they’re a means to an end. The end is to say the unsayable, to shock and horrify people, to throw everyone back on their heels, to bully and shove and elicit hatred, to fluster people, to TROLL. That’s what trolls do!
J R in WV
@Gin & Tonic:
Well, I’ve learned a lot about Apple and the FBI here, and I’m adult enough to say I don’t want the government to have a backdoor to any OS out there. This one phone, sure, hack it if you can, ask for help from the NSA, sure.
Obviously Apple thinks they have made it foolproof, so they aren’t able to twist their minds into figuring out a way to break it. I understand no help there. Sounds like they did a pretty good job on the security end.
My Android phone got sort of hacked the other day. I was driving in a rental truck in Tucson when the “Amber Alert” siren in the phone went off. The message from Amber Alert said “Surprise! Amber Alert for a Blue Ford Pickup truck, License number BXDmy license number!” I’m thinking it was just to my phone, and I didn’t see a police car ever since that shocking event.
The guys who did that had to be seeing that rental truck!
So there are smart guys out there figuring ways to hack stuff. Phones as well as Hospital Systems. I saw where a hospital in California had their systems encrypted, and were ransomed for the keys to the encryption, and so were using paper and pencils to run the whole hospital.
Scary!
Iowa Old Lady
@J R in WV: According to Wikipedia, what’s gone is the Fairness Doctrine, which said broadcasters had to present both sides of an argument. The Equal Time rule is still in effect, which is why NBC had to give time to R candidates who requested it after Trump was featured on SNL.
J R in WV
@Amir Khalid:
I don’t think so, although I don’t recall the rationalization for getting around the 5th amendment. Something like the phone data/contents of the safe aren’t speech from the suspect maybe?
It was a shaky rationalization, though, IIRC.
gex
@Amir Khalid: Yep. A federal court in PA has already ruled on this. “”Since the passcodes to Defendants’ work-issued smartphones are not corporate records, the act of producing their personal passcodes is testimonial in nature and Defendants properly invoke their fifth Amendment privilege.”
I suspect we are all lucky that the this was tried for Wall Street types charged with insider trading and not some poor minority defendants.
J R in WV
@gex:
Well, sweet. Of course, once you’re dead, as is the owner of the Apple phone in question, you don’t have any more constitutional rights.
Chyron HR
@gex:
Let’s pause to shed a tear for those poor minorities who are being posthumously harassed by the government for no reason at all.
Miss Bianca
@jl:
I love this!! Hookers asking their clients to make donations to HRC?? This wonderful world!
retr2327
@Trinity: Seconded. This needs an easy reference –
gex
@Chyron HR: What is this about? I am merely commenting that can’t help but wonder if the precedent might have been set differently if the defendants weren’t Wall Street types.
bjacques
@Botsplainer, Cryptofascist Tool of the Oppressor Class:
A bully’s reward: During the next debate, Trump wheels onstage a toilet, gold of course, with its tank emblazoned with a big “T”, drops a deuce in it, then drags Cruz by the scruff of his neck over to it and gives him a dirty swirly, on live TV. If he did that I might actually vote for him.
tones
@Mnemosyne: and even then only due to Diebold , right?
he never won.
period.
We have Scalito to revile for that , right ?
“get over it”
tones
@Mnemosyne: not to mention the ceo of Diebold promising to “deliver the votes to bush” which he most certainly did .
tones
@Iowa Old Lady: I thought you may be referring the the “fairness doctrine” which made FOX illegal until Regan got rid of it?
tones
@Corner Stone: yes – the so called ” liberal ” programs spend the entire show playing repub talking points… and then no time for any other news…
dlm
It honestly frightens me to think there are so many people that think Trump would make a good president. I fear for this country.
mclaren
Neither of these clowns will become president.
Read it now, believe it in November.
gex
@gex: Further I was responding to a specific question as to whether the government could compel a suspect to divulge their pin, I was not commenting on the current case. But I guess answering that specific question with the actual federal precedent and offering my opinion that we were lucky to get 5th Amendment protections in this area opens me up for mocker.
Paul in KY
@NonyNony: Pres. Obama is the turtle to Trump’s bugs bunny.
Cruz is Elmer Fudd.
Paul in KY
@gene108: That was his plan, he just said it was ‘compassionate conservatism’. Same shit as now, better BS then.