So Near And Yet Shofar

Because I could(n’t resist):

 

SHARE UPDATE BURNS OREGON! CHRISTIANS THE BATTLE TRUMPET HAS BEEN SOUNDED TIME TO RISE! CALL TO ACTION SEND IN THE TROOPS TO STAND WITH US IN BURNS OREGON!

Posted by Blaine Cooper on Sunday, January 17, 2016

Just to ram the point home: if I were those guys I’d think long and hard about the story of Nadab and Abihu. False prophets do not usually achieve happy endings. A sheepish withdrawal is by far their best outcome…which would let them get back (continue) to fleece their flock.

But I’ll say this: those big horns are not that easy to blow. Kudos for that at least.

78 replies
  1. 1
    Amir Khalid says:

    I’ll give them this: they do sound mellower than vuvuzelas.

  2. 2
    JPL says:

    Buzzfeed has the transcript of Sarah’s speech.. link If I were brave, I’d try to recite it aloud.

    Looking around at all of you, you hard-working Iowa families. You farm families, and teachers, and teamsters, and cops, and cooks. You rockin’ rollers. And holy rollers! All of you who work so hard. You full-time moms. You with the hands that rock the cradle. You all make the world go round, and now our cause is one.

  3. 3
    different-church-lady says:

    “Eight year-olds, Dude.”

  4. 4
    Chyron HR says:

    THE OREGON PATRIOTS HAVE SOUNDED THE TRUMP!

    Please stop sending them canned beans.

  5. 5
    Baud says:

    CALL TO ACTION SEND IN THE TROOPS CLOWNS TO STAND WITH US IN BURNS OREGON!

    FTFY

  6. 6
    BGinCHI says:

    False Profits?

    Trump can’t be far away.

  7. 7
    BGinCHI says:

    @JPL: It’s like the Medley of Covers from a Statler Brothers/Shanana concert.

  8. 8
    rikyrah says:

    Good Morning, Everyone :)

  9. 9
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    Off topic but I wanted to say that it is hilariously funny that of the prisoners we swapped with Iran to get the 4 Americans back, not one of them has gone back to Iran. So we get ours back and give up absolutely nothing in return.

    I keep waiting for a Republican to explain to me how Obama sold us out with this horrible no good deal. Maybe Trump. He’s all about making deals.

  10. 10
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: Correction: one of the people Iran has released has chosen to stay in Iran. The other 3 are coming home.

  11. 11
    Amir Khalid says:

    @JPL:
    Sarah is clearly trying to Gish-gallop incoherence at a speed beyond even Tina Fey’s capacity to parody it.

  12. 12
    Tim F. says:

    Dude, Nadab and Abihu was my bar mitzvah torah portion. That story is so metal. In a fair world Ozzy Osbourne would have written a hit song about it.

    Instead we got the Indigo Girls.

    https://youtu.be/aB5tx68i1M4

  13. 13
    SFAW says:

    What is it with these morons? Is a group including the FBI, CIA, Army Rangers, SEAL Team Six, Jason Bourne, Jack Reacher, Steve Rogers, Gandalf, Aragorn, the Seven Santini Brothers, and Cletus Spucker planning to storm the compound? If not, then what’s with the idiotic “battle trumpet”?

    I swear, sometimes I think Ted Cruz had the right idea re: carpet bombing — just the wrong location.

    That those assholes are not grease spots is the strongest argument ever that there is no such thing as a just and vengeful God. Got that, you stupid fucking Dominionists?

    Sorry. Sometimes I just get so tired of reading about assholes like these guys.

  14. 14
    raven says:

    @BGinCHI: I saw Shanana open for Tull at the Aragon in 70!

    damn, there is a boot!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJ3JprWg46I

  15. 15
    rikyrah says:

    Snyder apologized.

    APOLOGIZED?

    Muthaphucka, you permanently poisoned THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE…

    and you APOLOGIZE?

    PHUCK.OUTTA.HERE.

  16. 16
    BGinCHI says:

    @raven: Greasers then a rock flautist.

    I hope you were high.

  17. 17
    different-church-lady says:

    @Amir Khalid: My money’s on Tina. She has a talent for the quick kill-shot.

  18. 18
    K488 says:

    Götterdämmerung, Act II, the Disney remake.

  19. 19
    raven says:

    @BGinCHI: As the cost of living!

  20. 20
    gogol's wife says:

    @BGinCHI:

    When I saw Jethro Tull (KCMO, prob 1970 or so), the opening act was Steeleye Span, and somebody stole their costumes before the concert! There was a mournful announcement by the road manager, more in sorrow than in anger.

    I blame my tinnitus on all that stuff.

  21. 21
    rikyrah says:

    G-T-F-O-H

    Criminal enterprise, from beginning to end.

    …………………………………

    THE RACHEL MADDOW SHOW 1/19/16

    Remorseful Snyder apologizes to people of Flint in state address

    Rachel Maddow reports on the latest developments in the Flint, Michigan water crisis, including the mayor of Flint visiting the White House, the federal government sending a Health and Human Services official to help coordinate the response, and Governor Rick Snyder apologizing to the people of Flint in his State of the State address.

  22. 22
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    @BGinCHI: It was not possible to be straight at a concert in those days, a contact high was unavoidable.

  23. 23
    kc says:

    While we snark, these heavily armed white men have seized a national wildlife refuge, held it for weeks, evicted the employees, rifled personnel files, damaged property, and are now openly planning to do the same thing elsewhere.

    With ZERO consequences.

    This shit is not funny.

  24. 24
    BGinCHI says:

    @gogol’s wife: In 1996 or 97 I saw U2. The opener was Los Lobos.

    When they came out they didn’t really look right, or something was up. After 2 or 3 songs they exited the stage.

    Turns out Los Lobos had some transportation problem and couldn’t make the show, so U2 got some sombreros and serapes and played the only couple songs they knew in disguise.

  25. 25
    NorthLeft12 says:

    @rikyrah: So much for Mr. Snyder’s presidential or Senate aspirations.

    Real conservatives NEVER.APOLOGIZE. He is toast.

  26. 26
    Sloegin says:

    Probably not the only horns they’re blowing out there, amirite?

  27. 27
    BGinCHI says:

    @kc: To be truly outraged and not also able to use humor is a moral failure.

    –Aristotle

  28. 28
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @raven: Semi-funny story. I was friends with a guy who went to Columbia Univ back in the late 60’s and sang with the a cappella group that was the incubator for them. So his friends were splitting off to do this doo wop thing, and he said doo wop? There’s no future in that. Couple of years later they were raking in the dough and he was kicking himself.

  29. 29
    raven says:

    @Gin & Tonic: Very funny. It’s like Tom Joiner. He was in an early version of the Commodores and his mom and wife told him to get away from that Lionel Ritchie!

  30. 30
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    @gogol’s wife:

    I blame my tinnitus on all that stuff.

    The day after an Emerson Lake and Palmer concert, a buddy of mine went in for his West Point physical and just plain flat out failed the hearing part of it. After explaining he was allowed to come back in 2 weeks and passed it the 2nd time.

  31. 31
  32. 32
    Davebo says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: The two freed from Houston have strong ties and I’m not at all surprised they chose to stay. The charges were BS to begin with.

    Just glad we aren’t paying the $200 a night each it cost to keep them in the federal detention center.

  33. 33
    raven says:

    @gogol’s wife: I didn’t say much about all that when I got my hearing aid from the VA!

  34. 34
    Snarkworth says:

    If the Oregon crowd is joined by some Buddhist and Christian monks, we’ll have Rama Lama Ding Dong.

  35. 35
    Mobil RoonieRoo says:

    @kc: I’m starting to see the lack of response in a different light. TPM has an interesting take on it that kind of makes sense. Josh pointed out that their cause is slowly being eroded the more people hear and see what they are doing and they keep recording themselves committing various crimes. Over time they are hanging themselves and they will continue to lose support so their eventual arrests will be a non-story.

    That is one view I’ve read and I am beginning to hope that is what the government is going for.

  36. 36
    Immanentize says:

    The cub scouts at the refuge are Jewish?? Are they trying to sho how far they will go to appropriate cultures? First native american land, now the monotheistic call to the new moon?

  37. 37
    PIGL says:

    @raven: not a pairing anyone would find inevitable.

  38. 38
    raven says:

    @PIGL: Well, Shanana played Woodstock so there was a lot of that going on.

  39. 39
    catclub says:

    @Snarkworth: How far is the Malheur from Antelope?

  40. 40
    buckydoc says:

    @Amir Khalid: And plus, she blew what was supposed to be her mic-drop moment. She orated:”Right-wingin, Bitter-clingin, proud clingers of our God and our religion and our Constitution.”

    But wouldn’t it have scanned better as “Right-wingin, Bitter-clingin, GUN-SLINGIN, ANTHEM-SINGIN….??”

    I think she’s losing it.

  41. 41
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @BGinCHI:

    In 1996 or 97 I saw U2. The opener was Los Lobos.

    When they came out they didn’t really look right, or something was up. After 2 or 3 songs they exited the stage.

    Turns out Los Lobos had some transportation problem and couldn’t make the show, so U2 got some sombreros and serapes and played the only couple songs they knew in disguise.

    As an employment lawyer, I find this deeply troubling.

    As a Los Lobos and U2 fan, I find this effing awesome.

  42. 42
    dedc79 says:

    @Mobil RoonieRoo: I’ve been hoping the feds would move in and arrest all of them, the sooner the better. That said, if the end result is that (1) people stop paying them any attention at all and (2) they leave not because they were forced to, but because their lives there become so miserable and boring and then (3) they are all arrested one by one and (4) they are appropriately charged with a number of federal crimes and serve significant jail times and pay significant penalties, that would be even better.

  43. 43
    Germy says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: I remember back in the ’90s a man sued Barry Manilow because his ears wouldn’t stop ringing after attending one of Barry’s concerts. I think it was settled in court that Manilow had to donate several thousand dollars to a hearing institute.

  44. 44
    BGinCHI says:

    @Germy: Where was the guy, inside the piano?

  45. 45
    Germy says:

    @BGinCHI: No, it was just over-amplified and he was seated right in front of the speakers.

  46. 46
    Ken says:

    @buckydoc: Maybe instead of Bill Shatner doing it as a dramatic recitation, we should find someone to rap her speech.

  47. 47
    buckydoc says:

    @Ken: OMG…. imagine the beefs!!!

  48. 48
    Immanentize says:

    @Steve in the ATL: I went to a bar in Syracuse, New York in 1981 with my then-girlfriend, paid 3.75 each at the door, got to drink free beer for an hour — all; to see U2 on their Boy tour. They only knew thirteen songs, so they had to play three of them again ending with I will follow for the encore. Bono liked to sing on tip toe and barefoot back then. Someone stole one of his sneakers, but the crowd made the guy return it. My friend, Michelle, took the play list. Years later she contacted U2’s “people” re the song list and they told her it wasn’t authentic. Believe me, they had no roadies to produce those lists that night. I hate those “people.”

  49. 49
    gogol's wife says:

    @BGinCHI:

    hahahaha

  50. 50
    gogol's wife says:

    @raven:

    Blame it on Aqualung

  51. 51
    gogol's wife says:

    @Germy:

    Now that’s sad, to get tinnitus from Barry Manilow. At least I can blame Hot Tuna and Black Sabbath.

  52. 52
    Germy says:

    @gogol’s wife: When I sit in the waiting room of my auto mechanic, I browse all the hunting magazines. The back pages are all full of dubious tinnitus “cures”.

    Charles Darwin kept a journal, and every morning he’d describe the severity and tone of his tinnitus.

  53. 53
    ThresherK says:

    @Germy: Your mechanic doesn’t have boating magazines? He’s not charging you enough.

  54. 54
    Germy says:

    @ThresherK: Hunting magazines and car magazines. All from 2012-13

  55. 55
    gogol's wife says:

    @Germy:

    Darwin was wrong. The only cure is to ignore it.

  56. 56
    Germy says:

    @gogol’s wife: Exactly.
    I remember hearing a story once, a guy told his sister-in-law “everyone has tinnitus” and she replied “I don’t!”

    A week later, he saw her again, and she said “you bastard!”

  57. 57
    jimmiraybob says:

    Feh. They’re no Tower of Power.

  58. 58
    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism says:

    Letter to the editor of the Oregonian.

    Oh, and I’m pretty sure the Bundy Cosplayers think they’re invoking the battle trumpets of the Jaredites and the Nephites.

  59. 59
    Mr. Prosser says:

    Pass the goat jerky.

  60. 60
    ribber says:

    Why am I recalling Tom Hank’s character in The Ladykillers trying to relate to the Bible proclivities of his landlady with talk about “blowing the shofar” and she’s having none of it?

  61. 61
    Tractarian says:

    Just to ram the point home

    I see what you did there

  62. 62
    a different chris says:

    @dedc79: I think we should skip (3) & (4). It might make their supporters angry at the government.

  63. 63
    Oatler. says:

    I’ll praise the shofar bit since I love Old Testament puns.

  64. 64
    theturtlemoves says:

    @Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism: LeGuin is one of my favorites. Saw her speak at the Eugene library a couple years ago. Don’t necessarily share her distaste of eReaders, but understand it. I do agree with her that this will keep going as long as the feds continue to just let them come and go at will, as I doubt getting told last night repeatedly and loudly at a public meeting in Burns to “get the hell out of my county” by multiple community members will sway them from their righteous path. Who can stand against them when God speaks to them and all that.

  65. 65
    thalarctos (not the other one) says:

    If they start screwing around with the Ark, don’t look. No matter what.

  66. 66
    Origuy says:

    @Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism: When I saw those guys with the shofarot, I thought it meant that they were with Christian Identity, the group that thinks that the British are the true descendants of the Israelites. But I suppose it could be a Mormon thing.

  67. 67
    Ramalama says:

    @BGinCHI: wow. pretending to be the cover band of an opening act. how low can you go?

  68. 68

    ‘Please! Oppress us! Where’s our siege? Where’s our deadly shootout? How are we going to inspire a race war like this? You could at least try to starve us out! That’s dramatic, right? WHY DOES NO ONE RESPECT US?’

  69. 69
    catclub says:

    Kudos for that at least.

    Are those kudu horns?

  70. 70
  71. 71
    Enhanced Voting Techinques says:

    “I’m starting to see the lack of response in a different light. TPM has an interesting take on it that kind of makes sense. Josh pointed out that their cause is slowly being eroded the more people hear and see what they are doing and they keep recording themselves committing various crimes. Over time they are hanging themselves and they will continue to lose support so their eventual arrests will be a non-story”

    What they are trolling for is a government over reaction like at Waco so they can claim to be martyrs. The second they are arrested they will make it all about the arrest and pretend that none of this happened.

  72. 72
    Barry says:

    @SFAW:”That those assholes are not grease spots is the strongest argument ever that there is no such thing as a just and vengeful God. Got that, you stupid fucking Dominionists?”

    They don’t want justice.

  73. 73
    Van Buren says:

    I finally get to see what a Right Wing Noise Machine looks like!

  74. 74
    Miss Bianca says:

    @gogol’s wife:

    Their *costumes*? Dang, as long as no one stole their voices…Maddy forever…

    Ian Anderson produced one or two of Steeleye’s albums, as I recall…

  75. 75
    DaveL says:

    Blowing bighorns. Eat your heart out, Mickey Kaus.

  76. 76
    columbusqueen says:

    @Origuy: No question it’s a Mormon thing–they think they’re the lost tribes of Israel, after all.

  77. 77
    Julia Grey says:

    @Ramalama: wow. pretending to be the cover band of an opening act. how low can you go?

    Pretending to BE the opening act of their own show? Awwwww-some.

  78. 78
    Loneoak says:

    Chiming in late just to say that is my favorite headline ever on a BJ post. That is all.

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