Bundy Erotic Fan Fiction

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143 replies
  1. 1
    Gindy51 says:

    Brain bleach stat!!!!

  2. 2
    brighidg says:

    Leaves fell, and swirled.

  3. 3
    Waldo says:

    Less, please!

  4. 4
    yellowdog says:

    They are all great. But for some reason I found the ‘Somewhere an egret cried’ line especially hysterical.

  5. 5
    Napoleon says:

    Hilarious. I hope he turns them into a Decembrist song.

  6. 6
    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q) says:

    @yellowdog: That cracked me up as well.

    I also think this goes well with the Gadsden Snack flag.

  7. 7
    JPL says:

    Ammon put his arm around Jed. “It’s OK. We’re all minute men sometimes.”

    teeheehee… some people are just clever.

  8. 8
    jake the antisoshul soshulist says:


  9. 9
    boatboy_srq says:

    How can something this wrong make me laugh so hard?

  10. 10
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    It was a hard choice, but I like this one best:

    “I want you to take me like Obama takes our freedoms,” Jed whispered.
    The sound of a Carhartt zipper was his only reply.

  11. 11
    PurpleGirl says:

    Thanks mistermix. That is some funny stuff. I don’t twitter so I wouldn’t know it was out there.

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): Yeah, that little girl is cute… brings her own snacks. teehee

  12. 12
    maya says:

    Can’t wait for the movie: Brokeback Birdnest

  13. 13
    rikyrah says:

    Bernie, Hillary go to war over Wall Street: Sanders gets upper hand as he pitches fix for financial industry
    Sanders says Clinton lacks “courage” to stand up to Wall Street as he outlines plan to shape up financial industry
    WEDNESDAY, JAN 6, 2016 10:32 AM CST

    If you’ve seen the new film “The Big Short,” you know it was the greed of Wall Street, combined with the lack of regulatory control, that produced the 2008 economic crisis. You also know that nothing has changed. We still haven’t had serious financial reform and, even more disturbing, most of the banks are now bigger than they were before the crash. In fact, as the Washington Post noted, “three of the four largest financial institutions are nearly 80 percent larger” than they were in 2008.

    Of all the candidates, Bernie Sanders has been the most consistent when it comes to regulating the vultures on Wall Street. He’s also the most credible, given his record and his refusal (in stark contrast to Hillary Clinton) to accept corporate funding for his campaign.

    This week Sanders doubled down on his economic populism. In a speech on Tuesday, just a few miles away from Wall Street, the Vermont senator clarified his views on financial reform. “To those on Wall Street who may be listening today,” Sanders said, “let me be very clear…Greed is not good. Wall Street and corporate greed is destroying the fabric of our nation. And, here is a New Year’s Resolution that we will keep: If you do not end your greed we will end it for you.”

    Responding to Clinton’s accusation that his proposals are too vague and simplistic, Sanders was especially clear about his intentions as president:

  14. 14
    boatboy_srq says:

    “But they’ll hear us,” Ammon whispered breathlessly. “No, they will not,” Jason replied, “I’m using a silencer.”

    Effing brilliant. Still very VERY WRONG, but brilliant.

  15. 15
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q):

    I’ve been mindlessly clicking and saving the various Bundy+snack memes on FB the last couple of days.

    I’m up to 15 different images :-o

  16. 16
    PurpleGirl says:

    @boatboy_srq: ‘Cause it’s good snark and mocking. And funny as hell.

  17. 17
    dexwood says:

    Funny. Mockery can be so effective at times.

  18. 18
    Shell says:

    Looks like CNN is hoping for more Circus sideshow action. A long report on how more tickets were sold for some Trump event in Vermont today, than the venue has room for. Plus cold temps, plus protestors, plus that its gong on in Bernie Sanders country is all supposed to ratchet up the tension!


  19. 19
    rikyrah says:

    David Brooks is so very afraid: Ted Cruz, Donald Trump and the New York Times sadistically exploit anxiety over Islamic terrorism to grab votes
    The threat of terrorism in Iowa is minute, but GOPers continue to exaggerate the danger there — and everywhere else
    WEDNESDAY, JAN 6, 2016 10:05 AM CST

    For 21st century conservatives, “fear” is not an authentic feeling of actual concern for your safety, but an ideological pose struck to justify the darker, more sadistic urges that motivate the Republican base.

    In our day and age, declaring you want war for the pleasure of conquest or that you support racist policies out of unvarnished bigotry is socially unacceptable. So fear is donned as a costume to conceal the hate. The shivering coward is a more sympathetic figure than the snarling bigot, and so no matter how laughably implausible their posture of fear is, conservatives will strike it.

    No where is this more obvious than in the Republican town halls and rallies that have taken over Iowa in the run-up to the primary. Jeremy Peters of the New York Times paints a picture of candidates and voters gathering together to act like they’re huddled in a bunker while the Germans blitzkrieg London.

    “This despairing tone was on display Monday as Republicans crisscrossed the country on the first full day of campaigning in the new year,” he writes, “and began airing commercials that had a singular and sometimes fearsome focus on national security.”

  20. 20
    Bobby Thomson says:

    OT: KSA seems to have blown up the Iranian embassy in Yemen.

  21. 21
    JPL says:

    @boatboy_srq: That was brilliant!

  22. 22
    boatboy_srq says:

    @PurpleGirl: It still plays to “gay=bad”, which is a problem. What’s being tweeted as ammosexual hilarity, some of us call a good weekend at Jones Pond.

  23. 23
    scav says:

    The small improvised washtub was filled with two things: Cletus… and Cheetos. “C’mon, Ammon,” he purred. “Snack time.”

    a little meme-fest in itself.

  24. 24
    father pussbucket says:

    Here’s a defense of the ranchers from Justin Raimondo (yes, I know). Does anyone better informed and more ambitious than me want to comment? Long and detailed, but the last sentence tempts me to dismiss it.

    What the Oregon Standoff Is Really About

  25. 25
    rikyrah says:

    Couldn’t happen to a more loathesome group.


    Uber fail: Why the start-up giant stumbled in Europe — and how it could happen in the U.S.
    Wall Street’s favorite “disruptor” thought its usual strategy would work in Germany. It got walloped instead
    WEDNESDAY, JAN 6, 2016 06:59 AM CST

    So here’s a story you don’t read very often anymore, certainly not in the United States.

    A red-hot and impossibly well-funded corporation — one with extensive ties to the powers that be not only on Wall Street but also in Silicon Valley — recently tried to strong-arm its way into a major market. It did so despite the fact that its business model was, in many respects, incompatible with that market’s predominant government regulations and social norms. The plan, I guess, was to “disrupt.”

    If you’re someone who pays attention to the business press, or lives in a big city, then you’ve probably already guessed that I’m talking about Uber. You’re probably already aware of its market valuation — currently a gobsmacking $62.5 billion — and you’re probably already familiar with the company’s preferred means of market penetration. You’ve probably heard tales before of its smash-and-grab ethos, its fondness for ignoring the law and daring overmatched regulators to do something about it.


    There’s no other way to describe the company’s recent decision to all but give up on getting a foothold in Germany, at least for the time being. It’s hard to imagine Uber permanently giving up on Europe’s biggest economy, of course. But according to a report in The New York Times, Uber’s problem goes well beyond Germany’s borders. Deutschland is just one of many places where Uber’s struggling — and it’s almost always for the same reason.

  26. 26
    Felonius Monk says:

    Will these all be published as part of the Bundy Boys Erotica series. Maybe even a special Sodomy in the Snow edition.

  27. 27
    SFAW says:

    Meloy’s first tweet above is CLEARLY bullshit. As someone (Adam, maybe?) noted the other day, when Bill Ruger indicated that he might be OK with some limits on high-cap magazines, all REAL AMERICANS stopped buying Rugers. Is Meloy saying that Mammon Bundy is not a REAL AMERICAN??!?!?!?

    Outside of that, this stuff is pretty funny. One hopes that an FBI raid – were it to occur – would merely be a bunch of agents pointing and laughing at Mammon and his boy-toys. And maybe farting in their general direction.

  28. 28
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    That night, Jason lovingly cleaned Ammon’s pistol as if it was his own, carefully turning it round and round in his practiced hands, stopping only occasionally to admire its beauty or to blow it gently. Both men were pleased.

  29. 29
    Original Lee says:

    I’m trying to explain to a person who has to work in an office with Fox News blaring 24/7 why it’s not a double standard to condemn jokes that make fun of gays while encouraging creation of jokes that mock the Malheur Jockers by insinuating they’re secretly gay. I’m hitting a bit of a brick wall. Suggestions?

  30. 30
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    @Original Lee: Fuck off?

  31. 31
    scav says:

    What is of particular secret glee is the gunnut across the table from me at this very minute. It’s been a bit of a between the lines holiday season.

  32. 32
    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q) says:

    @PurpleGirl: An offer of snacks.

  33. 33
    SFAW says:


    It still plays to “gay=bad”, which is a problem.

    I disagree. I think it plays to the perception that the Bundy Boys are homophobic, and thus portraying them as one of the (many) things they despise (or are afraid of) would be more effective than just calling them “terrorists.” (Yes, I realize that the perceived homophobia is a stereotype, and may not be borne out by reality. I mean, some of their best friends may be black gay.

  34. 34
    scav says:

    @Original Lee: If someone is frightened of squeeky toys, one uses a squeeky toy to mock them, no matter it’s essential normality and lack of real threat?

  35. 35
    Germy says:

    watch this if you dare

    “…and then these cattlemen were told to leave. No greater tearing of their heartstrings could be imagined…”

  36. 36
    boatboy_srq says:

    @Original Lee: That’s unfortunately the problem I have as well. I’m still laughing (LMAO to be honest), but I’m not altogether comfortable with this either.

  37. 37
    PurpleGirl says:

    @boatboy_srq: K, I can see your point. But I’m taking them from the fan fiction point of view which has a lot of slash in its content.

  38. 38
    Original Lee says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead: It is possible that she’s just trolling me, but I suspect she’s earnestly trying to understand the Libruls. She confided to me the other day that she might have to vote for Hillary because she’s the only one with any common sense.

  39. 39
    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q) says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: I think you need to stop hoarding them (from us).

    @boatboy_srq: I’m not altogether comfortable myself. I attempt (with minimal success) to justify my laughter with the notion that it mocks their fear of all things gay, while suggesting that their ammosexuality is direct evidence of their insecurity regarding their masculinity. It’s pretty meta, but it’s all I got.

    Or, what SFAW said at 33. Note to self: read all comments prior to posting.

  40. 40
    Judge Crater says:

    Great stuff.

  41. 41
    Robin G. says:

    What a time to be alive.

  42. 42
    Original Lee says:

    @scav: Tried that. Tried explaining different theories of humor, and how this meme fits in, but she’s still kind of stuck on “isn’t making fun of gays bad?”

  43. 43
    NotMax says:

    @Bobby Thomson

    “Blown up” is a far cry from initial reports at the scene.

    On Thursday afternoon, Iran’s state-run news agency said a Saudi-led airstrike the previous night hit the Iranian embassy in Sanaa, citing Iran’s Foreign Ministry spokesman. However, an Associated Press reporter who reached the site just after the announcement saw no visible damage to the building. Source

  44. 44
    boatboy_srq says:

    @PurpleGirl: No argument that the whole thing isn’t delicious. That doesn’t stop some part of me squirming when I laugh – but the squirming doesn’t stop me laughing either.

  45. 45
    boatboy_srq says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: Awfully tempting to paint them as whiny five-year-olds on their first sleepover, no?

  46. 46
    Ken says:

    @Original Lee: Tell them this is part of the strategy to defuse the situation. It’s also why we haven’t cut off their internet access, and allow them to buy beer and chips in town. Eventually they’ll realize that everyone thinks they’re idiots, and instead of being hailed as the saviors of White America they’re being mocked and written into slash fiction.

    (I have no idea if that’s really the strategy, but it explains so much.)

  47. 47
    boatboy_srq says:

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): The best tweets IMHO are the ones that suggest they’re confusing their pistols and their privates – which is a likely symptom of ammosexuality. I suppose that will do until we find a better reason to keep laughing.

  48. 48
    🚸 Martin says:

    @Original Lee: You cannot explain satire to conservatives.

  49. 49
    scav says:

    @Original Lee: Can lead a horse to water, but can’t make it think. Context, complexity, et cetera, aka the real world make simple heuristics fail all the time, but people still yearn for them.

    ETA: digitalis in different doeses and contexts is both a life-saving drug or a toxin.

  50. 50
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    @Original Lee: Would it help if we sent some cultural ambassadors to her? I think sometimes all that is needed is an exchange of customs and practices so the different tribes can see we are more alike than we are different.

  51. 51
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    @boatboy_srq: Yes, but then we’d be making fun of children and I can’t think of many more things more reprehensible than that. Funny, yes, but deeply troubling.

  52. 52
    boatboy_srq says:

    @🚸 Martin: I always thought that was “you can’t explain humour to conservatives.” Are we narrowing it down?

  53. 53
    boatboy_srq says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead: And making jokes about how the ammosexuals might be homo is less troubling to you? Hmmm… Distinction w/o difference from where I sit.

  54. 54
    Judge Crater says:

    @Original Lee: The current gun fetish that our country is awash in is probably not exclusively sexual, but the phallic artistry of assault rifles is remarkable. Plus, firing these weapons – the noise, the concussion, the explicit feeling of power – has many animalistic feedbacks.

    Why the United States has immersed itself in this crazy fetish is still beyond me.

  55. 55
    SFAW says:


    Both right — sort of.

    You can explain until the cows come home (or some other pithy ‘Murican cliche). They just won’t get it.

  56. 56
    boatboy_srq says:

    @SFAW: Maybe if we explain until the Bundys go home…

  57. 57
    Keith P says:

    “And when he finished, Bundy said, ‘ Oooo, *that* was a lovely tea party.'”

  58. 58
    Elizabelle says:

    @yellowdog: I agree. The “egret” is genius.

    Unlike the whackdoodles holding themselves hostage.

  59. 59
    Original Lee says:

    @Ken: That might work. Maybe if I link it to Laugh-In.

  60. 60
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    100 militia men went to Malheur and 50 couples went back home.

  61. 61
    Original Lee says:

    @🚸 Martin: True. Except I think she’s really unhappy with the GOP right now and I might be able to win her over to voting for Democrats this year.

  62. 62
    Original Lee says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead: Already trying the cultural diplomacy route. Might make some progress with Ken’s suggestion above.

  63. 63
    WereBear says:

    If ridicule could kill a movement, let it be this one.

  64. 64
    SFAW says:


    Less troubling to me. It’s a form of ratfucking: you go after what manly, anti-gay, he-men they are, by suggesting that they are one of the very things they despise. Not unlike asking Heydrich how his Passover was. Wouldn’t make one an anti-Semite for doing so.

  65. 65
    Original Lee says:

    @Judge Crater: Agreed. I’ll try that next.

  66. 66
    Felonius Monk says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    and 50 couples went back home.

    Shotgun weddings?

  67. 67
    SFAW says:


    Maybe if we explain until the Bundys go home…

    No thanks, I gotta go shovel some water or floss the dog or something.

  68. 68
    bemused says:

    btw, I saw a couple of photos of Ryan Bundy. Was he kicked in the face by a mule?

  69. 69
    scav says:

    Unit Cohesion can be enacted in many forms — but are they monogamous?

  70. 70
    SFAW says:

    @Felonius Monk:

    Shotgun weddings?

    Were they over-and-under? Or, as the Bundy Boys might say, “Top and Bottom.”

  71. 71
    bemused says:

    @Original Lee:

    Just say it’s simply a natural progression to these tweets when these guys can’t sleep without their guns.

  72. 72
    boatboy_srq says:

    @SFAW: They’re also pretending to (at least political) maturity; describing them as children (and badly behaved children at that – taking their toys and going home to someplace else they think they can play) works just as well. Yet some of us think that makes children in general look bad. I’m confused how “childish” is an uglier epithet than “queer.”

  73. 73
    Gravenstone says:

    You are an evil, evil man for bringing this crap into the light of day.

  74. 74
    boatboy_srq says:

    @bemused: Nope: by a Winchester.

  75. 75
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    Has the thread been blown open?

    I think “Hotline” is supposed to be a neutral outlet ? This is their political editor

    Josh Kraushaar
    ‏@ HotlineJosh
    Reality is Rubio’s (short) political career has been defined by taking on Herculean challenges — and prevailing.

  76. 76
  77. 77
    Chyron HR says:

    If Ammon Bundy isn’t gay, then why doesn’t he ever want to have sex with his hot wife Peg? Checkmate.

  78. 78
  79. 79
    raven says:

    @boatboy_srq: I have an 1873 40-44!

  80. 80
    Ken says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: For some people, getting their shoes on the right feet is a Herculean challenge.

  81. 81
    boatboy_srq says:

    @raven: Is your face intact? Well, then…

  82. 82
    Ultraviolet Thunder says:

    I saw these tweets earlier and didn’t realize it was Colin Meloy. That guy is an outstanding lyricist.

    I’ve made it to Monterrey and I’m hogging WiFi in the Aeromexico Premier Club waiting for my flight to Detroit.
    I’m so behind on all news. Just 3 days of intermittent Internet and I have NO idea what’s going on.
    Is it even worth the trouble to catch up? Maybe I’ll just start with Dilbert.

  83. 83
    SFAW says:


    I have an 1873 40-44!

    I knew you’re older than I am, but I didn’t think THAT much older.

  84. 84
    boatboy_srq says:

    @Ken: I suppose the next insult ¿jeb? flings Rubio’s way will be “you’re ugly and your campaign consultants dress you funny”…

  85. 85
    SFAW says:


    Especially those cute boots/lifts/pumps that he wears.

  86. 86
    WereBear says:

    Twitter does have a use!

  87. 87
    boatboy_srq says:

    @WereBear: Aphrodisiac-or-floor-wax territory.

    ETA: my reply only makes sense after your original (unedited) comment.

  88. 88
    SFAW says:


    I suppose the next insult ¿jeb? flings Rubio’s way will be “you’re ugly and your campaign consultants dress you funny”…

    Big talk from a guy whom RCP’s aggregated polls are at 3.3 percent. With Rand Paul at 3.0.

    Unlimited Corporate Cluelessness!

  89. 89
    WereBear says:

    @boatboy_srq: Yes, people had explained it better than I.

  90. 90
    Mathguy says:

    @Original Lee: Just say it’s satirizing their own probable hatred of gays, especially the closet cases in the group, plus the whole gun fetish/phallic substitution meme tossed in for good measure.

  91. 91
    SFAW says:


    Aphrodisiac-or-floor-wax territory.

    Wow! “Shimmer” now has a third use! Outstanding!

  92. 92
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q):

    I would gladly share (although chances are you’ve seen most of them) but I don’t have a clue how to link to or post photos in BJ. I suppose I’d have to set up a Flikr or Instagram or something account, and by the time I figured out how to do that, the meme would be dead.

  93. 93
    Brachiator says:

    Just got up (California time) and am loving this stuff. Great antidote to the rains and grim news stories.

    Can’t wait for the movie: Brokeback Birdnest

    And of course, the shamelessly erotic “50 Shades of Camouflage Gear.”

  94. 94
    boatboy_srq says:

    @SFAW: I forget where I read it and my Google-fu isn’t up to finding the reference, but there was an article the other day saying Rubio’s problem connecting to the rabid wankers rank-and-file GOP was his style of dress: no camo, no denim, no plaid flannel, but lots of spiffy designer labels and pseudo-haute-couture. Apparently to morons Conservatist voters that matters.

  95. 95
    SiubhanDuinne says:


    Whaddya mean, “paint them as“?

  96. 96
    Paul in KY says:

    I think Mr. Meloy is the lead singer/songwriter for The Decemberists. Great group to see, have seen them 3 times. Always a good show.

  97. 97
    boatboy_srq says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: Suddenly all I can see is the South Park version of this whole episode.

  98. 98
    Ultraviolet Thunder says:

    Can’t remember 3 or 4 elections ago, someone’s Gucci loafers (Ferragamo?) were a big deal. Like it made him seem like an elitist snob.
    Those companies make great loafers. If you have $500 for casual shoes (you probably don’t), that’s what you get.
    But it’s the wrong image to project to the blue collar voters. Reminds them of clueless upper management.

  99. 99
    boatboy_srq says:

    @Ultraviolet Thunder: The thing that really got me is that Rubio’s style of dress is straight-up outlet mall. Lauren (Polo) is a big deal? Really? If he were shuffling his Ferragamos and checking the time on his Blancpain I’d understand.

  100. 100
    Steve in the ATL says:

    @Ultraviolet Thunder: I’m a loyal American, thus I wear John Alden or John Lobb Paris shoes.

  101. 101
    raven says:

    @boatboy_srq: I don’t have ammo for it but if I did I’d have the barrel xrayed before I fired it.

  102. 102
    boatboy_srq says:

    @raven: And that’s two explanations for Bundy’s face: first the recoil, second the possibility of an exploding barrel.

  103. 103
    Brachiator says:


    I forget where I read it and my Google-fu isn’t up to finding the reference, but there was an article the other day saying Rubio’s problem connecting to the rank-and-file GOP was his style of dress

    It doesn’t help that he has been recently mocked for his shoes.

    “A Vote for Marco Rubio Is a Vote for Men’s High-Heeled Booties,” Rick Tyler, Cruz’s communications director, tweeted, linking to the Cut article.

    Even Carly Fiorina got in on the act: ‘On Wednesday, Carly Fiorina responded with a picture of her own boots — which campaign officials reported had 3.5 inch heels — and teasingly asked Rubio on Twitter, “but can you rock these?” ‘

    All together now: Everyone is mocking Little Marco’s Rubio Slippers.

    I’ll be here all night. Be sure to tip your servers.

  104. 104
    Ultraviolet Thunder says:

    Indeed. There’s class, and there’s “classy”. Rubio is the latter.
    I used to sell high end clothes and jewelry and I really don’t like brand snobbery. But Rubio’s wearing labels instead of good clothes.

  105. 105
    boatboy_srq says:


    Little Marco’s Rubio Slippers

    SO VERY stolen. Thanks.

    And I keep my servers upright: if you tip them, they reboot. Kinda like some GOTea candidates.

    ETA: obligatory /rimshot

  106. 106
    Paul in KY says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead: I’d be fine with that explanation.

  107. 107
    Paul in KY says:

    @Original Lee: Maybe she has a crush on you?

  108. 108
    Paul in KY says:

    @Chyron HR: Agreed. He sure comes up with some BS excuses when Peg wants to get it on.

  109. 109
    Ultraviolet Thunder says:

    I gotta board a plane. If no Diamonds check in late I get to prop up my battered steel toed boots in First Class. With a schedule like mine I’ll take all the perks I can get.

    Cheers, BJers. Catch you again from Detroit.

  110. 110
    Paul in KY says:

    @raven: Surely a thourough cleaning would let you know if there was anything blocking the barrel.

  111. 111
    PaulW says:

    As a devoted X-Files ‘Shipper for Mulder/Scully, I am not a huge fan of Slash.

  112. 112
    Napoleon says:

    @Paul in KY:

    think Mr. Meloy is the lead singer/songwriter for The Decemberists. Great group to see, have seen them 3 times. Always a good show.

    Only saw them only once, but it had one of the greatest single moments in a concert I have seen. The venue is a stage that backs on a bend in the Cuyahoga River in Cleveland, a part of it that is used by large Great Lake freighters. As they played for the first encore the Mariner’s Revenge Song a huge ship slowly passed by as their back drop heading out towards Lake Erie. When he later came back on stage for the second encore Colin said, jokingly, something like “you have no idea how much it cost us to have him do that”.

    Not the best video, but here it is:


  113. 113
    boatboy_srq says:

    @Ultraviolet Thunder: There’s also the decidedly middle-Ahmurrrca tone to that “style” (for lack of a better word): it’s the step between Walmart and Macy’s (all right, maybe the step between Walmart and Saks). You would think that would resonate with at least some of the electorate.

  114. 114
    trollhattan says:

    @🚸 Martin:
    This. The end.

  115. 115
    raven says:

    @Paul in KY: It’s the thickness and any possible faults in a weapon that old.

  116. 116
    boatboy_srq says:

    @raven: Read in the context of the original post, that is hysterical.

    ETA toned down the language a bit.

  117. 117
  118. 118
    Paul in KY says:

    @raven: See your point. Have fun!

  119. 119
    Seanly says:

    @father pussbucket:

    Not getting out of the boat…
    However, any muddled Posse Commitaus arguments about the federal government not owning the land are bullshit. One needs to purposefully misread the Constitution to think that the federal government can only dispose of territory and not hold it in trust for the preservation and use of all people.
    Giving the land to the state or locals in lieu of the federal government is a slippery slope. Many of the states do have state constitutional requirements to utilize or even dispose of the land. Also, the state & local governments wouldn’t have the resources to pay for the upkeep of the land. Therefore, pushing down ownership below the federal level would mean less access for the public (including the precious ranchers and loggers but also recreationalist & hunters) either because it would be outright sold off or otherwise leased to corporate holdings.
    The federal government allows hunting, grazing, and logging of federal lands. Overages on all 3 of those realms and scientific remedies to address those overages result in less immediate access for some of those activities. Those were done to allow the land to be productive and useful for not just a couple of generations, but many generations. The corporate forces pushing this ongoing Sagebrush Rebellion BS want people to think it’s about bearded loggers & gruff ranchers who just want to subsist off the land like f’king John Wayne, but it’s about those corporations getting cheap but ultimately short term use of natural resources.
    Logging in the NW died out when federal limits were reduced. Private lands had already been logged past sustainable limits. If the feds gave up all their lands, it won’t be happy hunting & huge swaths of Farmer Joe’s cattle grazing on lands – it’ll be private companies keeping out those very people agitating for this huge federal giveaway.

  120. 120
    Brachiator says:


    Can lead a horse to water, but can’t make it think.

    The ghost of Dorothy Parker may haunt you for mangling the outrageously witty pun attributed to her.

    To paraphrase her, I think she might say of this Bundy madness: “This wasn’t just plain stupid, this was fancy stupid. This was stupid with raisins in it.”

  121. 121
    Another Holocene Human says:

    @Original Lee:

    I’m trying to explain to a person who has to work in an office with Fox News blaring 24/7 why it’s not a double standard to condemn jokes that make fun of gays while encouraging creation of jokes that mock the Malheur Jockers by insinuating they’re secretly gay. I’m hitting a bit of a brick wall. Suggestions?

    How is this different from joking that notable prudes are secretly into free love while condemning slut shaming?

    One kind of joke mocks gay people as a class. The other joke is mocking THEM. Also, fan fic is a thing. Thanks to the internet, a yuuuuuuuge thing. And “slashing” political figures has been going on for years.

  122. 122

    After reading those, I don’t want to be gay anymore. (Well, yes I do, but this could work as conversion therapy.)

  123. 123
    bcw says:

    If Sarah Palin were to show up the jokes would still work seamlessly with her included. I think they are more based on the big gun and militia-man in the woods fetishes than gayness. The only reason it’s all gay jokes is there are no women.

  124. 124
    jl says:

    @Another Holocene Human: I’d just make jokes that point out that they are idiots, and concentrate on defending those.

    They say idiotic things. So, now they are saying that they want to comb through 100 year of titles and deeds and treaties to show that the feds don’t legally own the land. Did they think all that was at the visitor’s center?

    Someone should should include maps pointing the way to county recorder’s offices and libraries and to try again, except lose their fire arms before they go.

    Most of the refuge is on land sold the federal government between 1930 and 1941 by a couple of ranching families who decided that they were more trouble than they were worth. So apparently the feds offered the best and easiest deal for them. Other lands came into feds hands through court cases over disputes between private big ranchers and squatters, who were burning each other’s stuff and shooting at each other.

    Malheur National Wildlife Refuge
    Settling the Land

    Of course, all that might be part of the Big Government disinformation campaign. And maybe it is, since it conveniently skips over how the land title got from Paiute io European setters

  125. 125
    Brachiator says:


    I’d just make jokes that point out that they are idiots, and concentrate on defending those.

    There is, for example, the delicious irony that these dopes have all gathered together to put themselves in their own self-made FEMA concentration camp, where they are determined to stay for years, if necessary.

  126. 126
    Soylent Green says:

    Here’s the best article yet, Libertarian Fairy-Tales: The Bundy Militia’s Revisionist History in Oregon, on what the Bundy boys believe.

    What rankles me is that they have been given unfettered access to the media to make their so-called case. Before the internet and cable news, the only way these characters could spread their silly fantasies was by mimeograph.

  127. 127
    Soylent Green says:

    Best name I’ve heard for the occupiers: Ranch Davidians.

  128. 128
    sharl says:

    @Soylent Green: Your link isn’t functional.

    Via a bit of googling, I think this is probably the article you have in mind:

    Libertarian Fairy-Tales: The Bundy Militia’s Revisionist History in Oregon

    For centuries, the federal government has bailed out cattle ranchers in Oregon and other Western states. It requires a lot of magical thinking—and historical erasure—to see “tyranny” in Harney County.

    (by) Aaron Bady

  129. 129
    nastybrutishntall says:

    If anyone is unclear why this is “ok” and different from yelling “haha fags,” it is because 1) these are white, privileged, hetero-identifying douchebags and therefore are not being punched down, 2) their alleged repressed homosexual urges are being celebrated, not condemned — there is no ick issue in these Tweets, 3) pointing out that ammosexuality is a violent repression of homoeroticism is so much more fun and accessible as fan fiction than as, say, a paper in a psychology or sociology journal. Everyone gets why this is funny. It’s not because being gay is risible. It’s because denying it and then favoring barrel-stroking heteronormativity is kinda “gay.” It is a very closeted move, using violence to distract others and yourself from your own undeniable urges. It is using gay stereotypes against the very same people who would oppress gays.


  130. 130
    Soylent Green says:

    Thanks, Sharl, I messed up the html.

  131. 131
    jl says:

    @Brachiator: True. One of my suggestion in comments was to build a temporary federal court next to the compound and send in the judge, counsel and jury to try them. If convicted then they can just stay there.

    The fees that the Bundy family owes the federal government can be used to build a new wildlife headquarters. If these criminals choose to stay there after their sentences are over, then could use the Bundy fees and fines to pay for that too.

    It will be a unique historical site a hundred years from now with a fascinating and unique story for future law abiding visitors.

  132. 132
    Soylent Green says:

    @jl: The refuge HQ consists of some very handsome stone structures built in the 1930s by the CCC. Be a shame to mar them with bars over the windows.

  133. 133
    father pussbucket says:

    Thanks. Please remind me what “Not getting out of the boat” signifies?

  134. 134
    Schlemazel says:

    Sorry for posting this in multiple threads but it is just to rich not to share regularly

    Is anyone surprised that the members of Bozo Haram are lying about their military experience?

  135. 135
    The Other Chuck says:

    I’ll tell ya one thing, after all this fucking deconstruction of humor itself, the jokes aren’t funny anymore, PC or not.

  136. 136
    Original Lee says:

    @nastybrutishntall: That is very clear and succinct. I’ll try that next. She’s gone home for the day and hopefully will think about what we’ve discussed.

  137. 137
    Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader says:

    @nastybrutishntall: I really didn’t want to get into this discussion but you have forced me to by trespassing on my Thought Leader turf.

    I keep seeing people here saying that these guys are guilty – or would be guilty – of oppressing gay people and so blah blah blah. There is no evidence for this charge. It’s a stereotype no less than all the other ones we’re bandying around with this delightful hashtag. For all we know, they have gay friends and family or they themselves are gay. Being gay is not the crazy strange thing it once was where one only encountered it once or twice a year, furtively in the men’s bathroom at the interstate rest area. The weird guy at work who used to go to all the Christmas parties alone now brings his boyfriend. Being gay has been destigmatized.

    The fact is, this awesome, funny gay erotica is specifically designed to emasculate these guys for the crime of being too over the top masculine with their all-guy guns and fun rightwing insurrection. It isn’t any more complicated than that. Whether or not it’s fair, or properly liberally sensitive or whatever can be debated but it is nothing more than public emasculation for shits and giggles.

  138. 138
    cat copeland says:


    A day in the life at “Brokeback Bundy”..(this from “Addictinginfo”)

  139. 139
    boatboy_srq says:

    @Mustang Bobby: It would certainly work as aversion therapy…

  140. 140
    boatboy_srq says:

    @nastybrutishntall: Thank you. I knew there was a reason I was mostly OK with laughing my a## off – I just couldn’t come up with it.

  141. 141
    Grondo says:

    Yeah, those guys are a real buncha FAGS, aren’t they?! I’ll bet they just love to bone each up the poop chute, right?! Fuckin’ FAGS!!!

  142. 142
    Paul in KY says:

    @Napoleon: That is so cool! Glad you’ve seen them & I hope you get to see them again sometime.

  143. 143

    […] They came from near and far; some are new to the fight, while others haveserved honorably in previous conflicts—or at least they claim to have (it can behard to distinguish between fact and erotic fan fiction). […]

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