Friday Morning Open Thread: Can We Get That In Writing, Lady?

locks keep us safe handelsman

(Walt Handelsman via GoComics.com)
.

Hey, remember the Concerned Citizen who tried to stop a couple of Home Depot shoplifters by shooting at their SUV? Per the Washington Post, she now “vows to ‘never help anybody again’”:

Tatiana Duva-Rodriguez thought she was doing the right thing when she pulled out her pistol and fired at a pair of shoplifters as they fled from a Home Depot near Detroit.

She wasn’t, at least in the eyes of the law.

On Wednesday, a Michigan judge sentenced Duva-Rodriguez to 18 months of probation and stripped the 46-year-old of her concealed gun permit.

Duva-Rodriguez didn’t manage to stop the shoplifters when she rattled off several rounds outside an Auburn Hills Home Depot on Oct. 6, although she did flatten one of their tires.

What she did do, however, was spark a nationwide debate — or at least add fuel to an already raging fire…

She was widely pilloried for pulling out her piece when nothing but property was at stake. Gun experts slammed her, saying she was lucky not to have killed an innocent bystander. Prosecutors called her decision to fire her weapon in a busy parking lot “disturbing” and charged Duva-Rodriguez with misdemeanor reckless use of a handgun.

Duva-Rodriguez did not contest the charge in court, but she was hardly contrite.

“I tried to help,” she told WJBK after her sentencing on Wednesday, before wryly adding: “And I learned my lesson that I will never help anybody again.”…

***********
Apart from a choral outburst of HEY, AMMOSEXUALS, STOP HELPING ALREADY, ‘KAY?, what’s on the agenda as we wrap up the week?






185 replies
  1. 1
    sm*t cl*de says:

    “I tried to help,” she told WJBK after her sentencing on Wednesday, before wryly adding: “And I learned my lesson that I will never help anybody again.”…

    This all makes more sense when heard in the voices of Simpsons characters.

  2. 2

    If I had left my house five seconds earlier, I would have been the guy that got T-boned by a large van at the intersection of Old Cutler Road and SW 152nd Street in Miami. Instead, it was a white Honda. I stopped to call 9-1-1, got the intersection wrong in my initial rush, and by the time I had clarified the address, they said that they’d already gotten the call.

    I’m sure there’s someone who will tell me that God saved me from the accident, but that means that the Sky Faerie had it in for the guy in the Honda.

    I hope everyone’s okay.

  3. 3
    satby says:

    Poor baby! Of course SHE is the real victim here, just a good gal with a gun trying to stop a bad guy with a gun nuts and bolts.

  4. 4
    Baud says:

    @sm*t cl*de:

    Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

  5. 5
    satby says:

    And of course the lesson she learned was “never to help anybody again”… because she didn’t want to help anybody in the first place unless she could play Dirty Harriet at the same time.

  6. 6
    Baud says:

    @Mustang Bobby: Whoa. Close call.

  7. 7
    Botsplainer says:

    Somebody needs to write an open letter to Susanna Martinez, Brian Sandoval, the Log Cabin Republicans, what’s left of the Hispanic Republic group and the 8 remaining African American Republicans to ask them about what future remains for them in this party, given the direction of primary base voters.

  8. 8
    raven says:

    Antonio Bernard Standifur, 47, of Sycamore Drive was arrested for felony shoplifting after a witness followed him from a store with a suitcase full of stolen items and reportedly held Standifur at gunpoint while waiting for authorities to arrive, according to an Athens-Clarke County police report.
    The witness, a 29-year-old man from Buckhead, told police he and his girlfriend were in T.J. Maxx on Alps Road when they saw Standifur leaving the store while pulling a suitcase on wheels. The witness related he followed the suspect and told him to stop, but Standifur would not listen. He said he got frightened when Standifur charged at him, so he pulled his gun and pointed it at the ground to let the other man know he was armed, according to police. The witness caught the attention of motorists on Alps Road by trying to flag them down, at least one of whom apparently called 911.
    Police said they determined the suitcase was stolen from T.J. Maxx and contained other merchandise from the store valued at more than $600, including perfume, body wash, watches and jackets, police said.

  9. 9
    Baud says:

    @raven: Citizen’s arrest!

  10. 10
    BillinGlendaleCA says:

    @Botsplainer: Susanna Martinez used to be a Democrat, maybe she’ll switch again.

  11. 11
    BillinGlendaleCA says:

    @Baud: Guy I used to work with co-wrote a Simpson’s episode.

  12. 12
    Baud says:

    @BillinGlendaleCA: That’s cool. Do you know which one? I haven’t watched a new episode in years. Stupid job.

  13. 13
    BillinGlendaleCA says:

    @Baud: The one where the Jazzman dies(it was in the mid 90’s), the darkest one I ever saw. I’ve not watched them either in about 15 years.

  14. 14
    David Koch says:

    Price of oil is crashing.

    Down 14% over the last 10 days. Now @ $36 a barrel

    Adjusted for inflation, oil hasn’t been this low since before the invasion of Iraq. Remember the war was sold in part with the promise that oil prices would fall with the lifting of UN sanctions on Iraq, but because the ME was destabilized the exact oppose happened.

    The key in the price drop: The Iran Deal (ie stabilization, bring Iran back into the community of nations)

    Price has fallen 46% since it was announced.

    Thanks Obama.

  15. 15
    Amir Khalid says:

    @David Koch:
    Malaysia is an oil exporter. Not good for us.
    ETA: Funny, petrol prices keep going up here.

  16. 16
  17. 17
    BillinGlendaleCA says:

    Mika seems to giving Joe some pushback today.

    Joe, of course, complains that Obummer isn’t creating a coalition.

  18. 18
    Another Holocene Human says:

    @Mustang Bobby: Maybe everything doesn’t happen for a reason.

    I’ve been doing this mindfulness stuff with my therapist, and half my problem seems to be jumping to explanations on inadequate evidence and then making decisions based on a conjecture that feels like the truth.

  19. 19
    raven says:

    @BillinGlendaleCA: And is roundly having the shit slapped put her her by everyone else.

  20. 20
    Another Holocene Human says:

    And……. out of coffee. Dammit!

  21. 21
    Botsplainer says:

    @David Koch:

    Habits have changed a lot as well. The Textard oilboys that run and own the middle of the energy chain kept the prices jacked too high and too long, forced some new habits and transport purchase decisions.

    Like every dumbass short term thinking conservative, they crashed their own market.

  22. 22
    Baud says:

    @BillinGlendaleCA:

    The episode also features the phrase “cheese-eating surrender monkeys”, used by Groundskeeper Willie to describe the French, which has since entered the public lexicon.

    We owe your friend a debt we can never repay.

  23. 23
    Schlemazel says:

    @sm*t cl*de:

    “You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is: Never try.”

    Homer

    Edit: @Baud: Aw crap! you beat me

  24. 24
    David Koch says:

    @Amir Khalid: I didn’t know that. No wonder Singapore grew so quickly. I see. They’re a compliment to a major adjacent resource exporter.

  25. 25
    Baud says:

    @Schlemazel: The early bird catches the snark.

  26. 26
    Another Holocene Human says:

    Anne Laurie–love the cartoon. Says it all.

  27. 27
    BillinGlendaleCA says:

    @Baud: I didn’t realize that either he or his writing partner came up with that. I worked with Jeff, I think I met Josh once(at Jeff’s wedding reception).

  28. 28
    satby says:

    @David Koch: weird, I noticed yesterday that they had jacked the gas prices up about 15 cents right after I topped my tank off at the lower price. But the commodity prices are so convoluted by the time it’s refined into gas anyway.

  29. 29
    BillinGlendaleCA says:

    @raven: They’re going to have to pay the custodial staff overtime to clean up that set.

  30. 30
    BillinGlendaleCA says:

    @Baud: I rooted my new phone tonight, so I’m well on the road to hearing loss.

  31. 31
    Another Holocene Human says:

    @BillinGlendaleCA: I don’t know if I would call that dark so much as poignant. It’s not like Lisa found out the Jazzman was autotuned or beats his wife or something; after mentoring the next generation, he dies. Tear-jerky yes, but dark these days means cynical or gory and it was neither.

    Treehouse of Horror, on the other hand…

  32. 32
    Baud says:

    @BillinGlendaleCA: I’ll try to remember to speak to you in ALLCAPS.

  33. 33
    bemused says:

    Vowing to never help anyone again is likely the wisest decision vigilante citizen has made in her life, perhaps the only smart decision she’s ever made. I just hope she sticks to it. If she is this dumb and irresponsible at “helping” others, I can only imagine what the rest of her history looks like.

  34. 34
    Baud says:

    @Another Holocene Human: The darkest Simpsons episodes are the ones involving Grimes.

  35. 35
    Another Holocene Human says:

    @satby: I’ve been weirded out lately by Sunday prices lower than Wednesday prices, the opposite of usual practice.

    And, locally, Gainesville has been cheaper than Ocala, which never happens. I guess the Ocala stations are gouging the rich old people.

  36. 36
    BillinGlendaleCA says:

    @Another Holocene Human: It was dark for the the mid 90’s.

  37. 37
    bemused says:

    @raven:

    Puke Joe just said to Mika, woman, “You don’t listen”.

  38. 38
    BillinGlendaleCA says:

    @Baud: Thanks, either that or I’ll have to get a hearing aid.

  39. 39
    raven says:

    Fuckin lazy as niclang.

  40. 40
    Another Holocene Human says:

    @Baud: Damn, I don’t even remember that one. I do remember Sideshow Bob trying to kill Bart. Like, not a joke, he is really trying to murder a child. That’s pretty dark.

    And the pilot episode! Homer doesn’t have enough money for Christmas and what he has he loses playing the races. What a picture of lower middle class desperation! The losing dog is literally thrown away by its owners so Bart adopts Santa’s Little Helper, who doesn’t really know how to be a housepet. It’s like the Waltons with more irresponsible adults.

  41. 41
    David Koch says:

    @BillinGlendaleCA: Did you see this – it was on twitter/facebook all day Wednesday.

    Morning Joke on Hillz:

    JOE SCARBOROUGH: She’s going to win the Democratic nomination. What Americans want is a strong, unifying leader. And Katty, I remember talking about her work as a senator. I remember talking to Trent Lott very early on, after Hillary Clinton was a senator, and going up to him and going: what’s Hillary like? What’s it like working with Hillary? He goes: she’s great. She’s bipartisan, she does her homework, she keeps her head down. I wish every senator was like her. It reminds me of the question asked of David Petraeus. When he was at the height of the surge, Joe Klein asks, who, what senator is best informed about your fight and what you need to win this war and Petraeus immediately said, oh, you mean other than Hillary Clinton? What an amazing brand she would have to offer the American people right now. Even Republicans that are in search of a unifying strong leader against ISIS.

    What did he break character or something or did he forget the camera was on? He spent months screaming about eGhazi and now he reveals how he real feels; not the cartoon character he plays on tee vee.

  42. 42
    Baud says:

    @raven: He said lazy again?!

  43. 43
    Another Holocene Human says:

    @BillinGlendaleCA: Babylon 5 was on. That was so dark I kept trying to adjust my set. #kiddingnotkidding

  44. 44
    BillinGlendaleCA says:

    @bemused: Joe wants more surveillance, torture, and lots of boots on the ground. There’s a winner.

  45. 45
    Baud says:

    @David Koch: That’s a little scary. Has it been verified?

  46. 46
    Another Holocene Human says:

    @satby: Or maybe she’s just too stupid along with the venal. Smart alert citizens write down a license plate number. Unlike in the movies, they don’t change as the vehicle is driving away.

  47. 47
    Another Holocene Human says:

    @Botsplainer: Actually, that sounds like a great thing for a reporter to do, reach out to them and have them share why they haven’t rage quit.

    Michael Steele, too. The guy is relatively sane but loyal to GOP. The question is, what is left out there to be loyal to?

    eta: I’m not saying I agreed with whatever he did when he was in government, but he can go on these shows and have a normal conversation, unlike creeps like David Brooks or tweedy punks like George Will or Infinite Ericks (check his twitter feed) or the GOP legislative frosh.

  48. 48
    Schlemazel says:

    @Another Holocene Human:
    Decent episode and not the only one to deal with a death. I half expected they would have one episode where Lionel Hutz, Troy McClure, Lyle Lanly and a few others all went together. It would have been sad to see but a great tribute.

    I still watch most of the new stuff, no religiously but mostly. The last couple of years are uneven but have had some really good episodes.

  49. 49
    Schlemazel says:

    @Another Holocene Human: what is left out there to be loyal to?

    TAX CUTS!

  50. 50
    Botsplainer says:

    @Another Holocene Human:

    Every oldster that lives in The Villages deserves every price gouge that happens. They’re the bootstrappiest bootstrappers that ever bootstrapped, are nasty to the core and have basically abandoned their families; their infirm years won’t be good.

    I hope that their assisted living facilities gouge them into penury, and that their eventual Medicaid bed nursing homes are staffed by minimum wage felons (that were educated in the schools they refused to fund and are underserved by underpaid and overworked social service agencies) who physically and emotionally neglect and abuse them.

    I want them to fully enjoy the America they have worked so diligently to create for us all.

  51. 51
    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism says:

    @David Koch:

    because the ME was destabilized the exact oppose happened.

    One wonders if that was the actual intent.

  52. 52
    David Koch says:

    @Baud: yeah, there’s video of it. the winguts had a fit online.

  53. 53
    Another Holocene Human says:

    @Baud: Right. Some retailers will even do citizen’s arrests, not that they’ll announce that’s what they’re doing.( Others just train employees to get a description and let them leave the building.)

  54. 54
    amk says:

    Great PSA from The Champ & Will Smith.

    Fuck donald dreck and his racist & religious hateful bigots.

  55. 55
    Baud says:

    @David Koch: I know “moderate” Republican villagers like to enhance their nonpartisan persona by saying not evil things about Democrats, but that seemed pretty thick. No wonder the wingnuts are unhappy.

  56. 56
    Another Holocene Human says:

    @Botsplainer: If there weren’t enough big purchases of hybrid tractors, it’s going to be another decade, though.

    Walmart announced they were buying hybrids and uh … can’t think of anyone else.

  57. 57
    Botsplainer says:

    @Another Holocene Human:

    Michael Steele, too. The guy is relatively sane but loyal to GOP. The question is, what is left out there to be loyal to?

    If anybody should bear a grudge and rage-quit, it’s him. The guy did a great job, and since the dude with the Bond villain name took over, it’s all been a crisis.

  58. 58
    Baud says:

    @Botsplainer: Where would he go? He’s got no place in our world unless he also radically changes his ideology.

  59. 59
    Another Holocene Human says:

    @Botsplainer: Oh, don’t worry, assisted living will take every last dime. There won’t be anything left for the funeral.

    Of course, it just makes the next grifter on the make rich. The crooked assisted living facilities manage to block any meaningful legislation in Tallahassee. That’s right, those brilliant UF students, minted out of the finest frats and sorority hovels (“‘E ‘asn’t even got any puke on ‘im!”), who run our state government in Tallahassee are taking instructions from actual crooks. Who are engaging in elder abuse. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

  60. 60
    Another Holocene Human says:

    @Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism: War is good for business. Peace is good for business.

  61. 61
    Botsplainer says:

    @Another Holocene Human:

    Here in the People’s Democratic Socialist Kenyan Shariah Republic of Louisville, there’s a shitload of hybrids, about half the buses seem to run natural gas, blighted old core neighborhoods and industrial zones are hipster trendy for moving inward, there’s a push for more mixed use residential structures, bike lanes are popping everywhere, bike shares are being installed and sprawl has ground to a halt.

    The transformation is marked.

  62. 62
    Another Holocene Human says:

    @Botsplainer: He did put out a press release about the war on caterpillars. One of the greatest moments in American politics.

  63. 63
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    @Another Holocene Human: A lot of ports have been switching too, mostly to nat gas, IIRC.

  64. 64
    BillinGlendaleCA says:

    @Botsplainer: I could see a bit of resentment, getting fired after doing a good job.

  65. 65
    Kay says:

    @Baud:

    They have to be worried about the Senate. IL, OH, PA, NH and WI, specifically. Kasich said at an event yesterday that he signed a pledge to support the nominee. He said it doesn’t matter because Trump won’t win but Ted Cruz is as creepy as Donald Trump is gross. Kasich also said he won’t accept VP under any circumstances- President or nothing.

  66. 66
    Another Holocene Human says:

    @Botsplainer: Oh, good point, yes, complete streets is a trend that has been building for a while and now that the crash and recovery convinced a lot of people to look beyond cars as the answer to everything we see the Millenials’ take on good transportation policy. (Boomer take: build more lanes! Build an overpass! Why am I still stuck in traffic!)

    Buses are hybrids (in some places) or CNG because of politics. But I think there will be a real gain in pollution management when shipping moves to hybrids. It hasn’t really hit its moment yet, I think.

  67. 67
    Baud says:

    @Kay: The new theory seems to be that Trump will finally bring out the missing white voters that Republicans have been fretting about.

  68. 68
    Another Holocene Human says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: Better on pollution, worse on the environment. I am thoroughly sick of natural gas.

    You know how they extract “renewable” methane from garbage? By burying compostable wastes under inorganic stuff so it rots anaerobically.

    Great.

  69. 69
    JPL says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: How are you doing?

  70. 70
    Another Holocene Human says:

    @Baud: The missing white voters are dead. Fuck the Republicans.

  71. 71
    satby says:

    @Kay: That’s the problem, isn’t it? No matter how bad, they’ll support the nominee. Party before country. Always. Which is why none of them is fit for office even without all the other crazy shit.

  72. 72

    How long before Trump et al start talking about the Chipotle problems as a super duper sekret musleen plan of FLOTUS to get Americans to stop going to fast food places. Also too, Alinsky sumthin sumthin and Sekret Musleen Valerie Jarrett sumthin sumthin.

  73. 73
    satby says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: I missed most of yesterday’s threads until last night; sorry to hear about your accident! How are you doing?

  74. 74
  75. 75

    @Baud: is that like.the missing blonde white bride to be?

  76. 76
    Baud says:

    @satby: No hugs for my paper cut?

  77. 77
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    @Another Holocene Human: I know. But I still applaud the cutting off of big oil.

  78. 78
    Kay says:

    @Baud:

    The “missing white voters” theory was really popular in Ohio after 2012. I don’t know though- that group loved Bush but a big part of what they liked about him was he was a “good man”- Christian, long term marriage, from a “good” family, never got his hands dirty attacking his opponents directly. Trump doesn’t fit that “a good man” picture to me. It’s really important to conservative voters, IMO.

  79. 79
    Botsplainer says:

    The missing white voters are in the same place as the whitey tape, the real birth certificate and the evidence of what really happened to Vince Foster.

  80. 80
    Baud says:

    @Kay: Do they think Cruz is a good man? He’s pushing the religious angle hard. And he’s the only real alternative to Donald right now.

  81. 81

    Oils close to $36/barrell. Cannot give a sh!t about all those Texas and N.Dakota people affected. Does that make me a bad person?

  82. 82
    Baud says:

    @mai naem mobile: Is that a Nancy Grace thing?

  83. 83
    Baud says:

    The “race” is on to prevent another terror attack, according to GMA.

  84. 84
    Kay says:

    @satby:

    He left a tiny space to wriggle- he also made a joke about how this might be why one shouldn’t sign pledges :)

    I’m going to what I privately think of as The Republican Lawyers Christmas Party tonight (because it may as well be called that) and I’m curious what they’ll say. They’re generally moderates and they had high hopes for Kasich.

  85. 85
    Baud says:

    GMA quoted poll that said Trump’s ban-all-Muslims proposal was not popular. So some good news.

  86. 86
    Baud says:

    GMA pushing terrorism fear hard.

  87. 87
    Another Holocene Human says:

    @Baud: Imagine if GMA covered homelessness as breathlessly.

  88. 88
    ThresherK (GPad) says:

    @Another Holocene Human: I imagine the sunk methane (in the permafrost, for example) being released into the atmosphere akin to how CO2 comes out of a warm soda bottle when it’s opened. Is that a usefully accurate idea of totally inept?

    Ps Making two sets of cupcakes for parties. Cocoa stout, then maple bacon. As Marge Simpson once said, this is my time to shine.

  89. 89
  90. 90
    BillinGlendaleCA says:

    @Baud: The poll I saw had it at 42 to 36, we’ll have to see what happens to tRump’s numbers. So far they seem to be going up after his remarks.

  91. 91
    Baud says:

    @Kay: Wish them a “Happy Holidays” from all of us.

  92. 92
    Baud says:

    @BillinGlendaleCA:

    GMA said 55-25 against the ban. Even split among Republicans.

  93. 93
    BillinGlendaleCA says:

    @Baud: Guess their custodial staff will be workin’ overtime too.

  94. 94
    Princess says:

    @Baud: Funny, because I spent some time on the GOS last night, and a number of them have that exact same hope about Sanders.

  95. 95
    Kay says:

    @Baud:

    There might be something to that, but he’s so creepy! He also has a horrible voice and I think that matters- they talk so much they have to be easy to listen to. I was watching him talk to voters on CSPAN after an event. You know how CSPAN just follows them and records the conversations. He does this thing that I think comes off as patronizing. The GOP voter will say “Christians are under attack, blah, blah, wingnut outrage of the day” and Cruz rephrases in a kind of prim, lawyerly way- “yes, religious liberty is very important”. It’s like he can’t pass up an opportunity to correct them.

    I always though Democrats under-rated Bush as a politician but I never dreamed he’d be the GOP high point. Compared to these people he is hugely charismatic.

  96. 96
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    @JPL: @satby: You guys really want to listen to my latest whines? OK, you asked for it:

    My back is killing me because all I can do is sit in chairs not designed for 24/7 or lay down in bed in wholly unnatural positions with props under my leg that I have to reposition every time I try to roll over. Both my hips are killing me, one from overuse, the other from under use. My right knee is killing from the strain of always having to hold the leg up. My arthritic left shoulder hates the crutches, i have raw spots on both rib cages from the crutches. The skin on my leg is becoming raw with the rubbing of the boot (he wanted to cast it but I have excema, bad in the winter, and I need to be able to give my skin a break from time to time or I won’t have any in a week or 2- looks like I won’t have any anyway) and to top it all off, my wife can’t get any sleep cause every time I move I groan/yelp/screlch* and wake her, every time the dog tries to switch from her side of the bed to mine she has to get up to bring him back to her side, and when the inevitable moment comes between 3 and 4 am that I just can’t lay in bed anymore, she insists on getting up too because i need light or something or other.

    On the good side, no surgery… yet. Gonna wait a week, get more x-rays then, and if I’m a good boy, a very good boy, I won’t need it. I’m not holding my breath- I’ve never been a good boy. (why else would I bring the tractor around and park it by the house? So I can be kind of good.) Also, apparently the foot is not broken (after going thru everything else, I forgot to ask and he never mentioned it so I’m making the assumption).

    * Screlch- a squelched scream

  97. 97
    NonyNony says:

    @bemused:

    Vowing to never help anyone again is likely the wisest decision vigilante citizen has made in her life

    It is exactly the lesson the court wanted her to learn when they imposed that penalty on her.

    If you think pulling out your gun and shooting at a suspected criminal fleeing the scene of a crime – especially a non-violent crime – is “helping” anyone then you need to stop helping. Period.

  98. 98
    Baud says:

    @Princess: Yeah, I don’t believe it. I obviously hope it’s true if he’s the nominee, just like I hope it’s true that Hillary can attract more white women voters, but I don’t believe that either. Not until I see it anyway.

    @Kay: I’m confident that if Jesus had access to a gun, and weren’t Jewish, he, like Cruz, would eat bacon off a machine gun. So Cruz does seem like a natural choice for the religious right.

  99. 99
    Kay says:

    @Baud:

    Which reminds me. I was behind this man at the supermarket and he was (in my view) giving the cashier a hard time. She has to say “did you find everything all right?” because they tell her to, and he wants to show off so he’s needling her about it – “what if I didn’t- would you find it for me?” Okay so I just hate those people so I’m already annoyed and she says “Happy Holidays” and he leans in and says “you have a Merry Christmas”. I was thinking “he’s one of them in addition to being an asshole!”

  100. 100
    Betty Cracker says:

    They should have also taken her gun, stripped her of her gun ownership rights and imposed a heavy fine as a lesson to other would-be Wyatt Earps.

  101. 101
    NonyNony says:

    @Kay:

    Okay so I just hate those people so I’m already annoyed and she says “Happy Holidays” and he leans in and says “you have a Merry Christmas”. I was thinking “he’s one of them in addition to being an asshole!”

    Isn’t the right term for someone who petulantly uses the phrase “Merry Christmas” in anger already “asshole”?

    That’s what I call them anyway.

  102. 102
    Baud says:

    @Kay:

    “he’s one of them in addition to being an asshole!”

    Those Venn diagrams seem to be getting increasingly coterminous.

  103. 103
    Botsplainer says:

    @mai naem mobile:

    Oils close to $36/barrell. Cannot give a sh!t about all those Texas and N.Dakota people affected. Does that make me a bad person?

    Texas oil patch bootstrapper laborers can sell off some guns and ammo and ATVs to buy groceries and pay their fucking child support. It’s the only wealth they stored, the rest frittered on trailer rent, depreciating monster trucks and gasoline for rolling coal.

    It’ll be the greatest tragedy those manly men ever suffered – robbed of identity, and they’ll be the subject of lamenting articles.

    It’ll have a salient effect of crushing gun prices and harming the market for new manufacture.

  104. 104
    Kay says:

    @NonyNony:

    I hate the people who make fun of cashiers because they try to bring you in. He kept looking at me like I’m supposed to validate his stupid point. I get a huge kick out of not playing- just totally blank face.

  105. 105
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    @Betty Cracker: They did take her guns. Banned from owning them till 2023 as I recall.

  106. 106
    NorthLeft12 says:

    I would not envy anyone living with Ms. Rodriguez in the future. She has a ready made response for the following requests;

    Hey, can you help clear the dishes from the table?
    Can you help me with my homework?
    Can you hold the ladder for me?
    Can you get some milk at the store?

    Ms. Rodriguez, “Fuck that! Last time I helped anyone, I got eighteen months probation!”

  107. 107
    ThresherK (GPad) says:

    @Kay: Part of my traditional Xmas viewing.

  108. 108
    Baud says:

    @Botsplainer:

    Alaska’s governor revealed his plan to institute the state’s first income tax in 35 years.

    Governor Bill Walker’s announcement on Wednesday was made in response to Alaska’s multi-billion dollar budget deficit brought on by steadily falling oil prices.

  109. 109
    David Koch says:

    @Baud: It’s myth. The white turnout rate isn’t a problem, rather the problem is the vanishing white vote.

    White turn out in 2004 was 67%. In 2008 it was 66%. In 2012 it was 64%.

    It was at a high in 2004 and it was nearly matched in 2008, but McCain still lost by 7 points.

    Their problem isn’t turnout of the white pie isn’t high, it’s that the white pie is continually shrinking.

  110. 110

    Weirdest thing about my colonoscopy yesterday: They asked me for a picture ID. Have they had people sneaking in to take other people’s colonoscopies?

  111. 111
    Mike J says:

    @Iowa Old Lady: Somebody heard the phrase, “never stand in between Donald Trump and a camera.”

  112. 112
    Baud says:

    @David Koch: “White pie” should be a real pie. It sounds yummy.

    @Iowa Old Lady: I wonder what they would have done if you didn’t have an ID. Given you a provisional colonoscopy?

  113. 113
    Joel says:

    If that attitude doesn’t summarize Trumpism, I don’t know what does.

  114. 114
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    @Iowa Old Lady: They do that for everything now, that and constantly asking your b-day. Comes of lopping off the limbs of the wrong patients.

    How was your post colonoscopy feast?

  115. 115
    pluege says:

    the fallacy of the NRA terrorist “good-guy with a gun” argument is apparent to anyone and every reality-based mature person capable of rational cognitive thought.

    The NRA terrorists making that argument are also just as obviously not capable of rational, reality-based thought, so there really isn’t any “discussion” (or argument) to be had.

    Therefore, if rational sentient people want to be safe from gun nuts – yes, they will have to take the guns away from the gun nuts, aka NRA terrorists.

  116. 116
    JPL says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: Surgery is not fun so behave. If you need to bitch, it’s better to do it here and give your wife some relief. She sounds like a saint.

  117. 117
    Baud says:

    @JPL: She married him. Sounds more like a martyr.

  118. 118
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    @JPL: She has to be, she married me. (I never complain to her, it’s bad enuf as is)

  119. 119
    Baud says:

    BREAKING: Dow, Dupont attempt merger that would form colossal chemical producer worth more than $130 billion

  120. 120
    NorthLeft12 says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: From the information that I read, she was only stripped of her concealed carry permit.

    I believe that means that she can still own a gun or guns as the case probably is.

    So, this just means that she can’t put it in her purse or under her jacket/coat, but must heft her gun around in the open, just like all those open carry fools do, amirite?

    How inconvenient for her.

  121. 121
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    @Baud: I am her cross to bear.

  122. 122

    @Mike J: I had to think about that one for a while! Surely even Donald would walk on by. Or maybe every picture of Trump is analogous to a colonoscopy.

    @Baud: At every stop they asked me my name and what I was there for. It was having to back up my claims with an ID that make me blink.

    @OzarkHillbilly: All I had was toast and coffee, and it was great.

  123. 123
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    @NorthLeft12: I may have misread. I’ll double check.

  124. 124
    Baud says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: Aw, I was just having fun, guy. Still, you should build her a nice wood thingamajig once you’re all better.

  125. 125
    Just One More Canuck says:

    @Baud: 55 – 25? So close to the magic number

  126. 126
    Botsplainer says:

    @Baud:

    Certainly, it’s the death of freedom, or something.

    It all started when that tyrant George Washington put down the Whisky Rebellion.

  127. 127
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    Donald Trump attacked by American bald eagle – video

  128. 128
    raven says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: It’s in your hands!

  129. 129
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    @Baud: I wasn’t kidding. This is payback for all the ways she mistreated her first husband. (the one who tried to kill her twice, who’s greatest accomplishment was needing 3 cops to arrest him, the one who’s first words to me were “I’m gonna kill you.”, the one who was banned from his own daughter’s wedding and my wife hired 2 off duty cops to make sure he didn’t crash it, etc etc)

    Seriously tho- this is every bit as hard on her as me, if not harder.

  130. 130
    debbie says:

    I heard a great example of Both Sides Do It this morning.

    A couple legislators have introduced a bill in the Ohio House that would increase the Planned Parenthood buffer zone to 15 feet. A number of anti-abortion organizations are upset; one in particular (Ohio Right to Life) objects to this infringement on their First Amendment rights and implied that they too need protection. The example the spokeswoman used was that her group had been called annoying. She said that twice, as if it was a horrible, horrible insult. I don’t know; I’ve heard her interviewed lots of times and have called her much worse things.

  131. 131
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    @raven: I thought the break was in my ankle. ;-)

  132. 132
    PurpleGirl says:

    Those minority Republicans can learn a lesson from a NYC politician — Herman Badillo. Mr. Badillo was a Democrat for many years but then he became a Republican. I guess he felt the Democrats had used him and not given him what he wanted — to be mayor. Well, the Republicans didn’t give him that either. I guess he died bitter about his political career. He was Bronx Borough President and a couple of other things but he was never mayor.

  133. 133
    BillinGlendaleCA says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: Colbert showed that on the Late Show. I’m sure that Mnemo will be watching Colbert tonight.

  134. 134
    satby says:

    @Baud: I missed that too. Tragedy abounded yesterday.

  135. 135
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    @NorthLeft12: According to this article at the Detroit News, the prosecutor states “If her guns are taken away and she learns her lesson, that is fine.”

    The article states only that her permit to carry has been revoked till 2023, so I suspect the DA misspoke and you are correct.

    ps something wrong with the mouse/computer connection, can not highlight than copy paste. pretty sure it’s not the mouse as we changed it out, so I am cursing a lot.

  136. 136
    PurpleGirl says:

    @Iowa Old Lady: Elmhurst Medical Center — a NYC owned and operated hospital and clinic center is about to introduce a hand scan device to make sure a patient is who they say they are. As it stands now every time you check for an appointment they ask a bunch of questions — birthday, address, phone number. This is in addition to asking for your hospital ID card (no picture on the card).

  137. 137
    satby says:

    @NonyNony: Yes. It takes a real asshole and bully to pick on people serving them. And to be argumentative about the form of good wishes extended. And asshole/bully is enabled by a major network/political party/media telling them it’s the Right way to be.

  138. 138
    PurpleGirl says:

    @Kay: When a cashier asks me if I found what I wanted I usually say something along the lines of “oh, yeah and more. I came for X items and look what I’m getting.” It makes them smile. Especially at Michael’s crafts supplies. ;)

  139. 139
    raven says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: Your ankle is in your hands butterfly.

  140. 140
    raven says:

    @PurpleGirl: I got there little wooden balls for the hooks on my pot rack there!

    https://c2.staticflickr.com/6/5643/22397571876_36db0720f6_b.jpg

  141. 141
    satby says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: Glad for no surgery at least. Do you have a recliner (or summer chaise that you can bring into the house)? Either of those could make sitting with your leg up way more comfortable.

    And you know I first started making soap because I had out of control eczema, right? Hit me up in a message at my shop and I’ll send you some cream that may help a little.

  142. 142
    debbie says:

    The New England Police Benevolent Association has endorsed Trump. What more do you need to know about New England cops?

    http://www.boston.com/news/pol.....ml#slide-1

  143. 143
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: On further thought, It is possible/probable her guns were taken away as a condition of her probation (my ex lost hers as a condition of her parole and her conviction had nothing to do with guns) which if that is the case means she can’t possess them for the 18 months she is on probation.

  144. 144
    debbie says:

    @PurpleGirl:

    Michael’s is very dangerous that way!

  145. 145
    raven says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: Same with my cousin, He went up on a weed rap but had to get rid of all the weapons he “brought” home from the Nam.

  146. 146
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    @raven: No wonder my back hurts so much!!!

  147. 147
    WereBear says:

    @Baud: Where was your Secret Service contingent? Aren’t they supposed to throw themselves between you and the stiff paper edge?

  148. 148
    Baud says:

    @WereBear: Apparently, since I haven’t quite peaked in polls yet, I get the “hookers and blow” contingent of the Secret Service. Fun group, but not necessarily the most secure.

  149. 149
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    @Baud: And I’ll bet they expect you to supply the hookers and blow.

  150. 150
    Baud says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: It’s the modern version of a “chicken in every pot.”

  151. 151
    satby says:

    Never feed your dogs leftover turkey soup. The doggie farts are epicly noxious. I may have to flee the house.

  152. 152
    Paul in KY says:

    @Amir Khalid: They have to make that money somehow.

  153. 153
    Paul in KY says:

    @Baud: You mean ‘Grimey’!

  154. 154
    Paul in KY says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: I’m sorry for you (and your wife), with these orthopedic problems you have. I have a very bad right knee & it’s no laughing matter. Especially the older I get.

    I hope you get relief for it ASAP.

  155. 155
    Paul in KY says:

    @Betty Cracker: Definitely!

  156. 156
    Paul in KY says:

    @NonyNony: I think ‘creep’ would work as well.

  157. 157
    Cermet says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: Damn – so sorry you have to live with these true nutcases. That is terrible and these ass wipes think they have a right to say these things much less act that way just proves there are desperately sick people who shouldn’t be allowed to own a sharp object, much less a gun.

  158. 158
    debbie says:

    i guess you know you have a sizable song catalog when you can provide a theme song for each of the Presidential candidates:

    http://theconcourse.deadspin.c.....ook.com%2F

  159. 159
    debbie says:

    Damn link moderation.

    i guess you know you have a sizable song catalog when you can provide a theme song for each of the Presidential candidates:

    http://theconcourse.deadspin.c.....ook.com%2F

  160. 160
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    @Cermet: Ehh, we are pretty much done with him (or he us, depending on how you look at it) He stalked us for a while (funny story there) but nothing for a while now. Tried reconnecting with his daughter a while back, but it was one phone call with no follow up. My wife is much happier with him not in her daughter’s life at all. He never gave her anything but mental/emotional abuse anyway.

  161. 161
    Central Planning says:

    @Mustang Bobby:

    If I had left my house five seconds earlier, I would have been the guy that got T-boned…

    I got hit a couple weeks ago by a driver that decided to turn left in front of me. Swerved/breaked/honked and ended up getting hit on the rear driver side. Ended up going up on the curb and hitting a street sign. Side airbags deployed too. $6200 in damage to the car so far. Fortunately, a sheriff saw the whole thing.

    My son had some tinnitus which went away, and I had a slightly sore neck/arm which went away as well.

    Like you said, 5 more seconds either way and we would have been fine. It makes we wonder how many other destructive events in my life I’ve missed based on seconds.

    On the plus side, I’m driving around a Jeep Grand Cherokee Limited. MPG is horrible but interior is roomy and plush. I would never buy one.

  162. 162
    gvg says:

    @Iowa Old Lady: Actually I think it might be a part of making sure they don’t make a mistake and give the wrong person some procedure aka amputate the wrong persons foot. The put tags on you and have you write on yourself etc. Ask you your name and birthdate before every medication. I may be wrong but my recent experience is that the local hospitals are anal about identifying you before tagging.

  163. 163
    CZAnne says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: ask for a scrip for forearm crutches since you’ll be using them for a while. They’re more efficient to use, easier on damaged shoulder joints and have better stability. (Worst case, they run about $40 at Amazon.). Do you have your knee bend back? Once you do, there’s a wheeled prop like a scooter — knee walker, knee scooter — that can be rented. That will help with your hips because both will be back to weight bearing. Also, they’re kinda fun.

    Injury ergonomics are irritating, but they’re getting better, as are the tools. And I’m glad your foot is okay — an ankle is quite enough.

  164. 164
    Kay says:

    @PurpleGirl:

    I like craft stores too. Hardware stores and craft stores. I went to visit my middle son the other day. He lives about an hour away but in a town I rarely get to. He was laughing because I said “you have a Ben Franklin!” Ben Franklin’s are like messy craft stores with wholly unrelated other crap displayed nearly randomly. It’s like five and dime meets arts and crafts and collides. He wondered what they sold- he thought “paper” or “books”.

  165. 165
    Paul in KY says:

    @Kay: We have them down here. They are called ‘Big Lots’. There is no rhyme or reason why 1 product is beside another.

  166. 166
    Kay says:

    @Paul in KY:

    I love that, though. I told him “just drop me here- this visit is over- I’ll be in there a while”.

  167. 167
    raven says:

    Nanci “Love at the Five and Dime.”

    And they’d sing
    “Dance a little closer to me, dance a little closer now
    Dance a little closer tonight
    Dance a little closer to me, it’s closing time
    And love’s on sale tonight at this five and dime”

  168. 168
    catclub says:

    @raven:

    after a witness followed him from a store with a suitcase full of stolen items

    Is it just me, or does this not make clear whether the witness or Standifur was pulling the suitcase?

  169. 169
    Paul in KY says:

    @Central Planning: Glad you got away with just the slight injuries. Very lucky!

    Edit: Comment numbers seem to have vanished.

  170. 170
    Paul in KY says:

    @Kay: I’m thinking the store does that as a way to get customers to go thru entire store. I bet no one’s ever thought of that before ;-)

  171. 171
    ellie says:

    @Botsplainer: I am cutting and pasting this. Thank you for summing up the situation succinctly.

  172. 172

    @gvg: Yeah, they asked me repeatedly who I was and what I was there for. It was the photo ID part that made me blink. Like they couldn’t take my word for it. I suppose they get some patients who can’t answer questions reliably.

  173. 173
    ThresherK (GPad) says:

    @raven:
    I’m one of those lady teachers,
    a beautiful hostess, you know,
    the kind the Palace features
    for only a dime a throw.

  174. 174
    ThresherK (GPad) says:

    Dang tablet. That was “Ten cents a dance”, perhaps the most Lorenz Hart lyric ever, Richard Rodgers on the tune.

  175. 175
    Calouste says:

    @debbie: Well, fascism is good for the police business. They might even get fancy new uniforms and extended “responsibilities”.

  176. 176
    bemused says:

    @Kay:

    I have Ben Franklin near me that I love. Small but they carry fabric, yarn and supplies for each. I think they also do picture framing and/or supplies. They have classes on occasion. Neat and tidy too. Nice owner and staff.

  177. 177
    steverinoCT says:

    @gvg: Heard about a guy in a local hospital where they amputated the wrong leg. They had to go back and take off the correct one, of course, and he sued them, of course.

    The case was thrown out– he didn’t have a leg to stand on.

  178. 178

    @Mustang Bobby:

    If it was a reasonably new Honda, they might be okay. My brother got t-boned in his Civic and walked away with a few bruises thanks to the side airbags (and that he wears a seatbelt).

  179. 179
    Paul in KY says:

    @steverinoCT: Pretty lame, Steverino…;-)

  180. 180
    Ajabu says:

    @Another Holocene Human:
    I got an email that I cherish:
    “Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and make poor decisions.”
    Words to live by…

  181. 181
    Ajabu says:

    @Baud:
    I don’t think Michael Steele actually has an ideology. (I personally believe he voted for Obama in the 2012 election) and he’s in a wonderful position as the “rational” repub spokesman on TV.
    He seems to be relaxed and enjoying himself since he left that absurd RNC job.
    The brother certainly knows that there’s bigger money in being the sane opposition than just another normal Black respondent. I aint mad at him…

  182. 182
    NorthLeft12 says:

    @debbie: I hate to stereotype, but I think you could apply your comment to all cops, not just the New England ones.

    Jumping Jehosaphat! What the hell is wrong with some people? I mean what does this say about those NE cops besides they are a bunch of bedwetting bigots?

  183. 183
    NorthLeft12 says:

    @raven: That seems so unfair. Why should your cousin have to give up his AK 47s, 50 cal machine gun, claymore mines, flame thrower, and missile launcher just because he was in possession of pot?

    I think I am starting to understand the NRA’s point.

  184. 184
    Paul in KY says:

    @Ajabu: I certainly liked him more than Rinse Priapus.

  185. 185
    Paul in KY says:

    @NorthLeft12: Right!! I mean being high on reefer will usually make you more mellow & less likely to unleash your arsenal on your fellow man. Stupid cops…

Comments are closed.