Open Thread: JEB!, Ripe to Rot

Universally beloved commentor Amir Khalid flags a Daily Beast article by (former Daily Caller star) Will Rahn, “Jeb Bush Should Face Facts: It’s Time to Drop Out“…

… After all that money spent, you’re still sagging nationally and in fourth place in New Hampshire, a state you need to win. You’ve had nearly a year to make your case. It isn’t working. You should pack it in.

The conventional wisdom a few months ago was that your brother’s catastrophic presidency would be your bid’s biggest hurdle. Now, in a fit of desperation, it looks like you’re about to draft him to stump for you. Putting aside that George W. is still despised by a not-insignificant swath of the Republican electorate, how is that going to play in the general should you somehow win the nomination? You’re making the Democrats’ job easy, Jeb. They’ll be more than happy to attach you to his legacy, and you’re doing that for them.

Speaking of the Democrats, we know what will happen if you drag this out through next spring. The going thinking right now is that the guys really low in the polls—your Rand Pauls and George Patakis—should be next to drop out. But what damage do they do to the GOP by staying in? You Bushes, meanwhile, for all your patrician aloofness, are some of the dirtiest campaigners out there, and every jab you get in at your fellow establishmentarians like Marco Rubio is going to be used against them by the left. It’s one thing to toughen up a nominee in a primary fight—it’s another to make them damaged goods, unready to lead. If you’ve got some golden piece of oppo that will take Rubio or John Kasich out of consideration, by all means use it now. Otherwise, time to step aside…

Yeah, like Bar Bush would ever permit John Ellis to jump off this train before it jumps the tracks. He’ll never be her favorite son, but he does seem to be the one who inherited the most from her — all the stolid, cruel, uncaring “patrician” contempt for everyone in the world that is not of the Bush clan.

Politico, last week, “Bush camp moves to ease donor angst“:

… His top bundlers, summoned to Miami for a last-minute call-a-thon, are working hard to convince increasingly anxious donors of their candidate’s strength. Bush’s team is highlighting the benefits of its sizable financial advantage — mainly, a top-notch national organization — in an effort to focus attention on the campaign’s durability but also to demonstrate its superiority in relation to Rubio, whose rise in recent polls represents a growing threat…

“I don’t know if it’s panic or paranoia in Miami, but they are losing [Scott] Walker people to Marco, and if you say what’s true, they get mad,” said one Bush donor, who spoke to POLITICO on the condition of anonymity. “I think it’s just reflective of what’s been going on for the past month or so and the way the race, at least in the establishment lane, has shifted. It’s really Jeb or Marco now. Marco’s fundraising has picked up, and Jeb’s has stayed flat.”

Another Bush donor invited to Miami, assessing the state of anxiety within the former Florida governor’s operation on a scale of 1 to 10, put the panic level at a “6 or 7.”…

“There’s less money out there than people realize,” said Katie Packer Gage, who served as Mitt Romney’s deputy campaign manager in 2012 and whose firm is doing work for Rubio in Michigan. “Lots of donors are holding their money because, if the big donor wants anything, they want to be with a winner, and they want the right candidate.”…

The Wall Street Journal laments, “Where Did Jeb Bush Lose Support? Everywhere“:

… Mr. Bush lost support across the board: among men and women, voters under and over 50 years of age, talk-radio listeners, and values and tea-party voters alike. Though his support flagged among likely voters who identified as very conservative and total conservatives, Mr. Bush lost the most ground – a 15-point decline — among self-described moderate and liberals, earning 8% from those voters in September compared with 23% in July.

Voters also have less positive sentiment about the former Florida governor. The change was greatest among likely Republican primary voters, whose positive feelings decreased to 39% from 50%. Meanwhile, negative feelings toward Mr. Bush increased by four points.

EvenThe(Rigidly)Conservative USNews has defected on JEB… replacing him with thirsty one-time protege, Marco Rubio…

135 replies
  1. 1
    redshirt says:


  2. 2
    dmsilev says:

    But, but, the Brinks trucks are backing up!

  3. 3
    El Caganer says:

    If he drops out, who gets his donors? More importantly, who gets his exclamation point?

  4. 4
    Morzer says:


    Shame they rolled over the foot in Jeb!’s mouth, innit?

  5. 5

    Look! I can get stupid rich people to give me money! I can be haz preznit? Pleez?

    ETA: Brinks trucks. Full of cash. Backing up.

  6. 6
    dmsilev says:

    @Morzer: Jeb reminds me of what Ann Richards had to say about his father:
    “Poor George. He can’t help it, he was born with a silver foot in his mouth.”

  7. 7
    gf120581 says:

    Right to Rise, where are you? We need you to explain how this is the next stage of JEB!’s glorious road to victory!

  8. 8
    22over7 says:

    He’s not going to drop out until NH is my guess. He and the rest of the dwarves are hoping, hoping, hoping that Trump gets bored or gets sued or something and then ALL THOSE VOTERS will flock to…whomever.

  9. 9
    Steeplejack (phone) says:

    Astros win. FTFY. Nelson Muntz “Ha-ha!”

  10. 10
    Morzer says:


    Jeb!: The Road To Dicktory.

    Now showing in GOP primaries near you.

  11. 11
    hilts says:

    Congratulations to the Houston Astros and Good Riddance to the Goddamn Motherfucking NY Yankees

  12. 12
    Chris says:

    @El Caganer:

    And even more importantly, who gets his troll?

  13. 13
    Marcion says:

    Anyone know what the real story behind this is?

    This story is making the rounds of all my fundigelical FB friends. Tellingly, I can’t find any references to this anywhere outside the froth-o-sphere, let alone from Sweden, where this church that is being supposedly mosque-ified is located.

  14. 14
    maya says:

    @El Caganer:

    More importantly, who gets his exclamation point?

    !Marvin! 2024

    (It’s a family heirloom that, like interest, compounds itself)

  15. 15
    Keith P. says:

    My favorite part was the suggested (serious) tweak to change his eyeglasses. Trump will eat him alive if he ever tries “hip” glasses. He could also buy another exclamation point.

  16. 16
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    new bumper sticker: “Jeb! – when you realize you have to settle”

    wasn’t that line used about Willard? and in his case, it came true! I don’t think it will for Jeb? Rubio, maybe.

  17. 17
    Morzer says:


    Her Twitter feed links to a short Swedish article which basically says that she wants to open up the Seaman’s Church (Sjömanskyrkan) to Muslims by marking the direction of Mecca and removing Christian symbols.

    It’s the earliest entry of Sept 26.

    Basically it’s a fairly standard bit of interfaith work, involving the creation of a suitable space which might lead to some goodwill and dialog. Naturally the carpet-chewers of the Breitbart/Pam Geller rage-o-sphere are having a conniption about how Sweden is gonna be jihadi central for sure any day now after this SURRENDER etc etc. The fact that Eva Brunne is out and proud about being a lesbian has not dampened their fury.

  18. 18
    hilts says:


    Or where the Good Lord split ya.

  19. 19
    mdblanche says:

    But… but… unlimited corporate cash…

  20. 20
    Sm*t Cl*de says:


    Anyone know what the real story behind this is?

    The link needs a ‘Breitbart’ trigger warning.

  21. 21
    Morzer says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    Jeb! – the proven alternative to insomnia

  22. 22
    John Revolta says:

    @hilts: Salud.

    Now go home and get your fucking shine box.

  23. 23
    Keith G says:

    @efgoldman: @hilts:
    We Houstonians are very small-town about our Astros – feel very connected. The Astros’ payroll is 69 million, the second smallest in the Bigs. Their road to a playoff is never the easiest.

    If you are nerdy about baseball, here is an interesting clip about the swing of our superstar rookie shortstop, Carlos Corea.

    It’s been a good night.

  24. 24
    Feebog says:

    @Morzer Alternative? More like cure for insomnia.

  25. 25
    Elie says:

    Jeb has all his brother’s gaffes without any of the sense of humor or twisted charm. He is also a very unattractive man. If he had a more sunny disposition, true intelligence or a sense of humor, that would be overlooked, but his frequent misstatements, his lack of social skills AND the poor posture and sad, unhappy face, are just poison. He can’t stop digging because ALL his tools are shovels. I feel sorry for his campaign staff. There is just nothing whatsoever to work with here. My sense, however, is that he won’t give up. I see a really angry, stubborn man who is just PISSED as hell that he is not getting what he wants, and he is going to ride his staff until there is just nothing for him to do except accept his rejection. It must be hell being around him. You can just sense the intense “event horizon” around him before all energy sucks into that giant black hole of his personality and ambition. Tragically, for him, his brother really didn’t care that much about being President, except as a gotcha. But Jeb! does. Very much. Not getting this — well — he can’t even think about stepping down right now is my guess.

  26. 26
    Redshift says:

    Though his support flagged among likely voters who identified as very conservative and total conservatives,…

    I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised they had to make up a polling category for people who are too right-wing for “very conservative”…

  27. 27
    Geoduck says:

    Even now, I still wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if he ended up being the GOP nominee.

  28. 28
    Suzanne says:

    I am getting worried that they’re going to nominate Marco Rubio.

    Rubio sucks. What a little slimeball.

  29. 29
    Morzer says:

    My theory is that Barbara Bush finds the women of the Bush clan unsuited to the task of succeeding her as the Shelob of Kennebunkport and is just waiting for Jeb! to be castrated by the primary voters before she calls *him* home and hands over the venom sac and pearls.

  30. 30
    Diana says:

    @Elie: this. I still think he’s going to be the Repub nominee

  31. 31
    Morzer says:


    I doubt it. The GOP primary voters have taken a pretty long look at Jeb! and they don’t seem to be warming to him in the least, despite the dismal alternatives. I think this is the year when their base declines to settle for a warmed-over establishment candidate from times gone by.

  32. 32
    Mike in NC says:

    Recent photos suggest JEB! is getting fat again. A common problem for many candidates on the campaign trail, where you are expected to drop in on local diners and so forth to enjoy their nasty greasy crap.

  33. 33
    dm says:

    Let’s say Jeb% stays in, and collects a few more Brinks. Trucks. Then his campaign sort of peters out after spending only a Brink. Truck. or two. Let’s face it, there’s a finite number of ad minutes in New Hampshire and Iowa. There’s a point where you can’t actually find campaign things to spend money out of Brinks. Trucks. on.

    So, the campaign comes to a whimpering halt. But there are still a few Brinks. Trucks. left. Where does the money in them go?

    Maybe Jeb% is just staying in it for the grift.

  34. 34
    Redshift says:

    @Suzanne: There was an interesting post on the Plum Line this morning about how the political media have decided that Rubio is the next big thing, even though he hasn’t actually gained much support.

  35. 35
    Elie says:


    I know — that is the current assumption because the others are just so damned bad. Its hard to think who it might be of the remaining morons, and I agree with that assessment. He is a very very unfit and terrible candidate (as we all know). I just don’t know if any of them would be any better.

    I never count out Babs Bush, though. She is head of the Bush crime family and there is nothing she won’t do.

  36. 36
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    @Morzer: I can’t decide if Rubio scares me or not. His handling of Trump, first by staying out of the poo-flinging, and in the last few days managing to react to Trump’s baiting with calm measure, is the most impressive I’ve seen him yet. And since swing voters don’t vote on issues, his demeanor may well provide enough cover for his extremism. But immigration seems to be the hottest button for their side this round, and I don’t know if they’ll be satisfied either with his record or his attempts to walk a rhetorical tightrope now.

  37. 37
    Morzer says:

    @Mike in NC:

    Recent photos suggest JEB! is getting fat again.

    Maybe that’s the growth that got Rightly Risible all hot and bothered.

  38. 38
    SectionH says:

    @Morzer: Whew! Have I ever told you you’re awesome before? You actually adequately described the Babs Effect.

    Backs away slowly…


    The thought of any of those RWNJs in the White House keeps me awake nights.

    I look at real estate in a number of small or smallish countries when I’m awake between sleeps. It’s a bit IGM, but damn.

    Not sure I’ll sleep well tonight after Morzer’s comment anyhow.

  39. 39
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    Jesus, is Colbert playing dumb? “Is there any advantage to one party controlling the White House, Senate and the House, so at least something gets done.” Now Bubba walking him through 2002-2006.

  40. 40
    Morzer says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    I suspect Rubio is too weaselly for the GOP base and his record is pretty unimpressive as well. There’s definitely a limit to how often he can tell the tale of his rise from humble rags to undistinguished politician – and that’s really all he’s got to offer.

  41. 41
    Morzer says:


    Have I ever told you you’re awesome before?

    Not that I can recall, but if you feel like making up for lost time I could probably be persuaded to lend an ear.

  42. 42
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: You know, there is a whole genre of a lawyer jokes based on real lawyers asking “dumb” questions. In reality, asking the dumb question can elicit a particular and desired response. What did Colbert get by asking his question?

  43. 43
    Suzanne says:

    @efgoldman: Ever since that fucking asshole was arrested, there have been no shootings. The dude is also a gun fetishist. Surprise.

    I feel considerably better having him arrested. I drive that stretch of I-10 at least once in both directions every day. And I was more concerned about getting in a wreck than being hit, because everyone was jumpy as fuck.

  44. 44
    kdaug says:

    @Chris: Right to Rubio?

  45. 45
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: that wasn’t the vibe I was getting. I can’t quite accept the man who played Cole-Bear for so long and so well is buying into Broderism, but he seems so determined to be nice (and non-partisan) in this incarnation, as he is from what I’ve read in real life. Nice is overrated.

    Bubba started out talking about 2002-06, I was expecting him to compare that 2009-10, but I guess it’s still hard for him to talk about the guy who got health care passed. He went off into a discussion of presidential and off-year voting patterns.

  46. 46
    Hungry Joe says:

    I’ve reached the point where I can’t imagine ANY of the GOP candidates as the nominee. Rubio? Oh, come now. Jeb? Oh, come now.. Trump? Oh, come now. Fiorina? Oh, come now.


  47. 47
    Morzer says:

    @Hungry Joe:

    Rick Perry ain’t dead – he’s only restin’.

  48. 48
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Well, he was hired to be a comedic, late night, talk show host, not a liberal political talk show host. My guess is that the job comes with some handcuffs as far as political commentary goes.

  49. 49
    danielx says:


    …the Shelob of Kennebunkport…

    Today’s win on the intertubes.

  50. 50
    Hungry Joe says:

    @Morzer: That’s odd — he doesn’t look like a Norwegian Blue.

  51. 51
    Morzer says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Apparently someone polled Mike Dukakis against Martin O’Malley recently – and Dukakis won! I can see why Colbert might want to keep his bipartisan satirist card in good condition.

  52. 52
    Morzer says:

    @Hungry Joe:

    Exceptional candidate, the Rick Perry. Beautiful glasses, innit?

  53. 53
    Thoughtful Today says:

    . . .

    … Jeb?

  54. 54
    NotMax says:

    Should it come to it and Marco somehow makes it into a debate against, oh, anyone on the D side, he’ll fold faster than a lawn chair from the 99¢ store.

    Pace Gertrude Stein, but if one studies Rubio’s all too contrivedly eager, puppy-like mien, there’s no there there.

  55. 55
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @NotMax: Rubio is Oakland?

  56. 56
    Morzer says:


    Marco Rubio – the only living politician to have been upstaged by a glass of water on camera before the eyes of the nation. He’s got a long history of getting himself into trouble and then wimping out as quickly as possible. He may be able to get away for now with sitting back and letting the other kids throw food around while the press fluffs Marco the Forgettable as hard as they can, but that’s not going to get him anywhere with the actual voters. When he’s up against HRC in the big game, he’s going to know how the egg feels just before it hits the omelet pan.

  57. 57
    SectionH says:

    @Suzanne: So glad they seem to have got him.

    Mr S and I were on Columbus OH freeways while there was a loose asshole (shooter), but only for a few days. I felt stupid for feeling creepy, but the asshole was still out there, and all the alert signs were out. And fairly soon after that, Mr S was in the DC area when the pair of assholes were shooting people. Which was really pretty awful because they were picking actual targets, people pumping gas and similar stuff. I worried more about him then, and wished I was with him. Kind of stupid, because being with him wouldn’t have made a fucking bit of difference, but I think that feeling is a hint into the good guy loonies’ minds. Totes irrational…

    Excellent point about nervous people causing wrecks.

  58. 58
    kdaug says:

    @NotMax: Give the boy some credit – he’ll look into Putin’s eyes and just see a father figure, not some weird soul-gazing transcendent crap. At least with Rubio, when the bad guy raises his hand he’ll cower, not try to do a Vulcan mind-meld

  59. 59
    danielx says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    Now Bubba walking him through 2002-2006.

    Vivid mental image of Jeb(!!!) holding his palms to his face and moaning “why, WHY, did my pissant of an idiot brother have to bring up that unpleasant time when Iraq and his administration started turning into a roaring dumpster fire fueled by bullshit? Which of you fucking idiots thought it would be a good, no, great idea to bring him on board this campaign?”

  60. 60
    Mandalay says:


    Rubio sucks. What a little slimeball.

    I despise Rubio for a thousand reasons, but #1 is really petty: he constantly brags about how he is not even running again for the Senate, as though it was a sign of his commitment and integrity. But he always fails to mention that Florida doesn’t allow you to run for the presidency and the Senate at the same time. It’s as hollow as President Obama announcing that after deep reflection he has decided not to run for a third term.

    But that’s the kind of slimeball Rubio is. A complete phony.

  61. 61
    SectionH says:


    “Backs away slowly…”

  62. 62
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @SectionH: While that was going on, I lived in German Village and was working on a site south of 270. I drove through the shooting area every day – down High St./Hwy 23, not the freeway, but in the area if the shootings.

  63. 63
    Eric U. says:

    @Elie: wasn’t it Warren Harding that was rumored to be killed by his wife to avoid embarrassment? If I were John Bush, I’d hire food tasters. Because Barb doesn’t appear to be the sort of woman that messes around. I don’t think she would approve of him ending up spending more money per delegate than Giuliani

  64. 64
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Eric U.: Be the Harding story as it may, Bar is Jeb’s mom. I tend to think it may make a difference.

  65. 65
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Well, he was hired to be a comedic, late night, talk show host, not a liberal political talk show host.

    Yeah, that was my thought when i saw this week’s line-up (McCain, Bubba, Bernanke, following up on Trump, Cruz, Sanders, Biden, Bush, Breyer): “Jesus, call some fucking comedians, already.” I get that he doesn’t want to have the cast of The Big Bang Theory in rotation to tell that funny anecdote about the waiter who didn’t recognize them, but watching a man with his history pretend politics is just so darn confusing and why can’t folks just come together and get something done!… let Jimmy Fallon do that. Or Jake Tapper.

  66. 66
    Mandalay says:


    When he’s up against HRC in the big game, he’s going to know how the egg feels just before it hits the omelet pan.

    I’m sure that she’ll be happy to remind voters that Rubio opposes abortion for pregnancies arising from rap* and inc*st.

    It’s just astounding that someone who believes that might become our president.

  67. 67
    Morzer says:

    Out of interest, what happens if None Of The Above wins the GOP nomination?

  68. 68
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: I am sorry that Colbert has disappointed you. For me, his interview of Biden was totally amazing television. His job is replacing Letterman, c’est tout.

  69. 69
    dr. luba says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Medea had children…….

  70. 70
    SectionH says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Which was a fucking long time ago, come to think of it. German Village was the cool place then, iirc*. We were going to the new-ish convention center. I was relieved to just get the hell out of [ city ] with that going on. I was relieved that my husband got home ok from [ city ].

    So, srsly, you’ve pointed out that this reign (I think rain, but that would be of bullets) of gun terror has been going on much longer than even my recent mind had been thinking about.

    *We haven’t been in Columbus in years, but even the last time we were, it was a more interesting place to spend a weekend in it was when you were there.

  71. 71
    SectionH says:

    @Morzer: Jeb!

  72. 72
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @dr. luba: True. And an interesting point is does it actually matter in WASPy families? Mine is tolerant of ne’er-do-wells. They tend to be charming and fun at family parties. OTOH, Jeb has no charm.

  73. 73
    David Koch says:

    Rubio isn’t going anywhere.

    ¿Jeb? will make sure he takes Rubio down with him.

    According to Roger Stone, ¿Jeb? is actively pushing Rubio has a mistress and kids out of wedlock info around the media.

  74. 74
    RK says:

    @redshirt: Saw Fury Road. Good action eye-candy I suppose and it did glorify violence of course with the climax involving the villain’s face being ripped off.

  75. 75
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @RK: Thank you so much for the spoiler. Just off hand, if you know how Public Morals ends, keep your damned mouth shut. Jebus.

  76. 76
    SectionH says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: This not being indeterminate miffic time, she won’t live forever.

  77. 77
    Morzer says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    So you don’t want to know about the alligator, the plumber and the Ronald Reagan look-alike?

    Also too: don’t you mean Jeb!us?

  78. 78
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @SectionH: Quoi?

  79. 79
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Morzer: No. And no fucking way.

  80. 80
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    @David Koch: Something I’ve been wondering about: Poppy had Atwater, Dumbya his Turdblosssom, has anyone seen a report on Jeb?s hatchet man? Did no one explain to him that Bushes can’t fight fair?

  81. 81
    SectionH says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    Babs. She might need a food taster moar right now.

  82. 82
    Ruckus says:

    On the other hand over 25 yrs ago so cal was having a shooter scare and everyone drove like the nicest people in the world. Of course it was not an actual shooter, but rumors of one. And then more than one. Without anyone being actually shot at. And rumors can be anywhere, and everywhere because there’s no actual evidence that something is or isn’t happening.

    ETA Of course I’ve also just described, in the last sentence,the conservative zeitgeist of the last 2 or 3 decades.

  83. 83
    DivF says:

    Jeb! is the Manchurian candidate. With Bar the perfect Mrs. Iselin.

  84. 84
    Morzer says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    I have doubts that Mike Murphy has ever achieved the necessary mental clarity to appreciate that fact.

  85. 85
    Ruckus says:

    They’d have a better candidate.

    The swearing in process might be a bit of a problem, but the country would be better off.

  86. 86
    piratedan says:

    I just read the headline and I swear, my first reaction was an irrational need to shoot the author for characterizing the last speech(es) as tantrums…

    yeah, shooting Michael Gerson may not solve the gun issue but maybe it would shut that sanctimonious fuck up.

    He said the President proposed no policy to change things, as if the President had any control regarding what legislation gets drafted and discussed in Congress. What fucking world does Mr. Gerson live in. How in the fuck is the failure to enact change in any way on the President considering that an executive order does not do what needs to be done in this case?

    Shit like this just makes me so pissed off in that it completely lays the blame off of the people who can actually effect change, Congress (and conversely us, the American people who continue to elect these assholes). Plus duplicitous fucks like Gerson who have an autoerotic desire to invoke the MBF at every opportunity.

  87. 87
    ruemara says:

    Whatever happened to not working when you got home?

  88. 88
    RK says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: I wouldn’t consider that a spoiler given the movie is simply one body part after another being subjected to some kind of maiming and every villain meets his end in every mindless action movie ever made. There’s also no plot to be spoiled.

  89. 89
    joel hanes says:


    I’m sorta sorry I saw what you did there.
    must erase image

  90. 90
    Ruckus says:

    Which of you fucking idiots thought it would be a good, no, great idea to bring him on board this campaign?”

    Wanna bet it was ¿Jeb? He really isn’t all that smart. Maybe with a bit of a push from Babs?

  91. 91

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    It’s such contextless information about the bad guy’s death, it’s not much of a spoiler. On the other hand…


    There’s also no plot to be spoiled.

    You’ve got to be kidding. There’s both a dynamic action plot with at least one big twist, and at least six major character development plots, all developed (and this is really hard), with minimal dialog. I understand how it can be easy to assume nothing serious is happening during all that action, but trust me, Fury Road is one deep, well-written movie. I wish I could go into detail, but we’ve already got one person here who has expressed a desire for no spoilers.

  92. 92
    John Revolta says:

    @Morzer: what happens if None Of The Above wins the GOP nomination?

    Mittens! He’s rested and ready!! And also with the Brinks. Trucks. too!!

  93. 93
    SectionH says:

    @Ruckus: So we have the Perfect terrorist thing ever, don’t we? Boom.

    I don’t think they’ve entirely won yet. Because what they missed was it’s Their roads, and they must roll.

  94. 94
    Death Panel Truck says:

    The world damned well better not end today like the Christian loons say, because it’s my wife’s birthday and I bought her a really cool present.

    But if it is, well, it’s 11:20 p.m. here – forty minutes to live. I’m stoned, the wife is drunk…bring it on, nutters.

  95. 95
    Amir Khalid says:

    You mean, if all the candidates now running stumble out of the race? I think the usual answer is a brokered convention and the nomination of the least weak candidate, the one nearest to the finish line when they stumbled. What I would like to see is the Donald being that least weak candidate, and inventing/exaggerating a slight by the party against him to justify running as an independent.

  96. 96
    SectionH says:

    @ruemara: when you’re doing it for you? (I hope that’s what you’re doing!)

  97. 97
    RK says:


    There’s both a dynamic action plot with at least one big twist, and at least six major character development plots, all developed (and this is really hard), with minimal dialog. I understand how it can be easy to assume nothing serious is happening during all that action, but trust me, Fury Road is one deep, well-written movie. I wish I could go into detail, but we’ve already got one person here who has expressed a desire for no spoilers.

    I don’t see this at all. There’s a tissue thin plot and no real character development. Not sure how “well-written” can be applied when there’s so little dialogue as well. Why not tell me your view in detail by “coding” it in Greek or some other language using Google Translator. If that idea is a no go (I think it’s brilliant as long as you don’t translate into Crusty which is Omnes native tongue apparently) I’ll give you my email.

  98. 98
    Morzer says:


    Y’all could try using an online encoder:

  99. 99
    RK says:

    @Morzer: That would work.

  100. 100
    Amir Khalid says:


    Not sure how “well-written” can be applied when there’s so little dialogue as well.

    Frankensteinbeck is a published writer of fiction, and far better qualified than I to answer you. Let me just note that in any piece of writing, word count is not a measure of quality.

  101. 101
    Morzer says:

    I found myself wondering which Twilight character our various front-pagers might be:

  102. 102
    RK says:

    @Amir Khalid: I suppose, but there’s very little dialogue, even less that matters and very little plot movement so I don’t see how “well-written” applies.

  103. 103
    Amir Khalid says:

    Very little plot movement? Not the movie I saw.

  104. 104
    Amir Khalid says:

    I think you and commenter Redshirt could have a fascinating conversation about the merits of Mad Max: Fury Road.

  105. 105
    Morzer says:

    I’ve just found something truly delicious. Charlie Pierce, I think I could love you with a pure, manly love:

    … I think I’ve found a perfect running mate for Doctor Ben:

    I’d also like us to encourage people to gang rush shooters, rather than following their instincts to hide; if we drilled it into young people that the correct thing to do is for everyone to instantly run at the guy with the gun, these sorts of mass shootings would be less deadly, because even a guy with a very powerful weapon can be brought down by 8-12 unarmed bodies piling on him at once. Would it work? Would people do it? I have no idea; all I can say is that both these things would be more effective than banning rifles with pistol grips.

    Carson/McArdle ’16: Let’s See Who’s Bulletproof Now.)​

  106. 106
    Morzer says:

    Also, an interesting little factoid:

    Matthew Dowd ‏@matthewjdowd 6h6 hours ago

    @DanaHoule @DCCyclone @danpfeiffer among Trump, Carson, Cruz, Fiorina voters: Jeb has -35 favorable rating; Rubio has a +28 favorable rating

    Matthew Dowd ‏@matthewjdowd 17h17 hours ago

    signs of campaign in trouble when they say: 1. early polling doesn’t matter; 2. look at all the money we have; 3. we are in it for long haul

    Sounds like those BRINKS TRUCKS! are going to be hauling someone’s campaign offices out of town right quick.

  107. 107
    EconWatcher says:

    Did you notice the circular reasoning in the Jeb campaign’s pitch to donors: “Our campaign will be stronger and better than Rubio’s because we’ll be better funded. So give us more money.” Nice.

    I wonder if, deep down, HW is ashamed of his spawn. How could he not be?

    Say what you will about him, when he was 18 years old, he put himself on the line in the Pacific War. Although he was certainly a son of privilege, he also worked his way up to the Presidency, building one of the most complete and impressive resumes of any nominee in my lifetime. He has many of the positive attributes of the “old school” (as well as the negative).

    His sons are spoiled punks, with very little talent and even less courage and work ethic. Even with the generous eyes of a parent, can he be entirely oblivious to that? I doubt it.

  108. 108
    EconWatcher says:


    This is very well written.

  109. 109
    Amir Khalid says:

    I’m appalled that anyone, let alone a journalist or a presidential candidate, would offer such obviously bad advice. Is anyone, any expert on such things, correcting this dangerous nonsense?

  110. 110
    Morzer says:

    @Amir Khalid:

    That dangerous advice from McArdle has gone unrebuked since December 2012. She continues to be employed as a “journalist”, by organizations that you’d hope would know much better.

  111. 111
    Betty Cracker says:

    @RK: Don’t let the “MM:FR” fanboys bully you, RK. They’ll throw fancy literary talk at you in a bid to intimidate, but the truth is the quality of that movie’s structure and character development is on par with an episode of “The Smurfs.” And I don’t mean a classic Smurfs episode with complex motifs, clever mythical allusions, universal archetypes and intricate plot twists like “St. Smurf and the Dragon;” I mean a bog-standard episode like “Astrosmurf.”

  112. 112
    Morzer says:

    @Betty Cracker:

    I like you in the Imperator Crackerosa costume, Betty.

  113. 113
    sm*t cl*de says:


    Out of interest, what happens if None Of The Above wins the GOP nomination?

    Depending on your choice of Prophecy, it is either Romney or Cthulhlu. I have no idea which will take the VP position.

  114. 114
    Another Holocene Human says:

    @hilts: I’ll drink to that!

  115. 115
    NotMax says:

    @Betty Cracker

    But with more overamplified sound effects and explosions.

  116. 116
    Gaffa says:

    @Betty Cracker: Betty’s wrong about Fury Road again, I see. Too bad.

    Nothing wrong with not liking any film, but claiming it doesn’t have qualities it does have is positively Breitbartian of her.

  117. 117
    Sherparick says:

    @gf120581: Yes, where is our favorite Republican Troll, or is about to change his monicker to “New Century” (see Marco Rubio’s slogan)?

  118. 118
    Matt McIrvin says:

    @Amir Khalid: I’m guessing the “gang-rush the shooter” business was inspired by United Flight 93 and the abrupt change in counter-hijacking doctrine on 9/11. Hijackings have gotten notably less common now that it’s understood that the hijackers are going to be attacked as potential suicide pilots rather than negotiated with.

    The thing is, the post-9/11 calculus in a hijacking is that if the hijacker takes control, the life of everyone on the plane is forfeit and possibly hundreds or thousands of people on the ground. For mass shootings, I think the extreme case is Anders Breivik and even he only managed to kill 77 people. Not to mention that in such a situation you probably don’t have the luxury of information and the little bit of time to plan that the Flight 93 passengers had.

  119. 119
    mclaren says:


    Not sure how “well-written” can be applied when there’s so little dialogue as well.

    See the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey for a refresher course in visual storytelling. Then take a look at The Cabinet Of Doctor Caligari and The Passion of Joan of Arc.

    Describing visual setups and writing down actions performed by both actors and cameras (as well as edits) is storytelling. It’s just visual storytelling. If you still have doubts that visual storytelling isn’t possible, review any of Charlie Chaplin’s films.

  120. 120
    mclaren says:

    @sm*t cl*de:

    Out of interest, what happens if None Of The Above wins the GOP nomination?

    Depending on your choice of Prophecy, it is either Romney or Cthulhlu. I have no idea which will take the VP position.

    Cthulhu would bow out.

    Not evil enough.

  121. 121
    Ziggurat says:

    I love that the successful Kerry, McCain, and Romney primary campaigns are only 12, 8, and 4 years old, but political professionals and amateurs alike pretend that they never existed and that all this is UNPRECEDENTED.

    That last goes for really any of this cycle’s developments, all of which have had multiple analogues in previous years.

  122. 122
    mclaren says:


    My theory is that Barbara Bush finds the women of the Bush clan unsuited to the task of succeeding her as the Shelob of Kennebunkport and is just waiting for Jeb! to be castrated by the primary voters before she calls *him* home and hands over the venom sac and pearls.

    You, sir, have just won the internet.

    This is my personal vote for “best post of the year.”

  123. 123
    Woodrowfan says:

    looks like “Right to Rise” has become “Right to Hide” on this thread.

  124. 124
    Betty Cracker says:

    @Gaffa: What? I cast aspersions on the quality of the film’s plot and character development — basically noting that I think it sucks, which is my subjective opinion. YOU’RE the one who seems to be claiming a film YOU happen to like meets some objective standard of literary merit. You and the other MM:TR fan boys are the ones who fall back on appeals to authority like a bunch of pathetic bible-humpers. Breitbart yourself.

  125. 125
    Woodrowfan says:

    @Matt McIrvin: the training film we see at school on what to do in these situations says

    1. run away
    2. hide
    3. fight as a last resort.

    It says nothing about “shoot back” probably so you don;t get shot by the police who think you’re the killer.

    My wife saw the same film at her government job.

  126. 126
    Lurking Canadian says:

    @Matt McIrvin: She said it in response to Newtown. It wasn’t just “victims” who should gang-rush the shooter, it was elementary school children. That people don’t cross the street when they see her is a testament to the forbearance of the American people.

  127. 127
    Patricia Kayden says:

    John Smith’s tweet for the win!! Poor Jeb!!

  128. 128
    Matt McIrvin says:

    @Lurking Canadian: Well, you know, eventually the killbots will reach their pre-programmed kill limit.

  129. 129
    OldDave says:

    @piratedan: What you said. Gerson has always been, and continues to be, a nasty s**tstain on the soul of humanity.

  130. 130
    Paul in KY says:

    @hilts: Fuck the fuckin Yankees (RIP, Steve).

  131. 131
    Paul in KY says:

    @Elie: Good analysis.

  132. 132
    Paul in KY says:

    @Morzer: What about Not-Jenna?

  133. 133
    Paul in KY says:

    @EconWatcher: Andy Reid should think the same about his kids.

  134. 134
    redshirt says:

    I missed the Mad Max thread! Damn it.

  135. 135
    Ian says:

    It is as if he views serving in office as a bad thing, and doing one’s job to be unsatisfactory.

    In short, a truly modern Repukelican.

Comments are closed.