Late Night Open Thread: Jeez, JEB!

My wrist isn’t up to typing a full catalog, but candidate JEB! had a lousy August and it’s looking like September isn’t gonna be much happier for him.

He’s looking more and more like he only got into this poker game because “the family” couldn’t bear to have Dubya as their most enduring representative, and now he’s down to his boxers and socks and fearful of having to limp home in the morning with Trump’s NO CLASS LOSER Sharpie’d on his hairy back.

46 replies
  1. 1
    EconWatcher says:

    Props to Dave Weigel. He is really showing some game on the snark front.

    But why does Trump hate Jeb so much? If I recall, Trump lost the Univision and other contracts while Jeb was still dithering around, trying to decide whether to defend his Mexican wife and children from Trump’s racist attacks (being the stand-up guy Jeb is), so I don’t think Trump could be blaming him for that. Whence the bad blood?

  2. 2
    RK says:

    I thought Jeb always wanted to be Prez and read somewhere that he’s never been a very strong campaigner.

    And Steve Kornacki’s teleprompter reading pattern and intonation will make me shoot myself. MSNBC needs to hire guys who are good at TV.

  3. 3
    Ruckus says:

    One would think that the stupid brother would be getting more of a bump from his name, with 2 former presidents before him in the line of succession. Maybe it’s because of the line of succession. No that can’t be it totally, it must be something else.
    I know, he’s a political idiot, and looks to be not much better than an idiot in real life. For proof, he’s paying idiot trolls to play idiot trolls. If he had any brains at all he’d pay them to be smart trolls. Not that it would help any, he’d still be an idiot.

  4. 4
    craigie says:

    …on his hairy back.

    Hey! It’s not like we can help it!

  5. 5
    David Koch says:

    This is killing you know who. (short Video) Alaska goes wild for Obama.

  6. 6
    Mike G says:

    “He attacks me every day with barbarities.”

    “Verily, this knave shall not succeed. Summon a footman with my cape and release the hounds upon this vulgar cad!”, he probably continued.

  7. 7
    BGinCHI says:

    How fucking stupid is Chuck Todd?

    With 16 or so candidates, of course the numbers are low for Trump. When it gets down to 3 or 4 he obviously won’t be “stuck” at 35.


  8. 8
    David Koch says:

    short clip: Obama meeting prison inmates

  9. 9
    jl says:

    @David Koch: As far as the Alaska state government concerned, and from what I can tell from my time up there, it has been Denali in that state for decades. I think Alaska state government changed the official name back in the 1970s.

    And in Alaska, if you get those damned feds off their back on something, I think even Obama will be popular for a day.

  10. 10
    David Koch says:

    @BGinCHI: exactly. In a poll published today PPP found in a head to head match up Trump would beat Jeb! in a landslide 59-34 (Q 20 Page 5)

  11. 11
    Redshift says:

    @BGinCHI: It made some sense when polls were showing a large percentage who said they would never vote for Trump. But that number has declined, and assuming it can’t decline further is now pretty stupid.

  12. 12
    David Koch says:

    Frank Thorp V


    Rep Patrick Murphy (D-FL), who’s running for Dem #FLSEN nomination against @AlanGrayson , says he will support the Iran nuclear deal
    11:40 AM – 31 Aug 2015

    Jonathan Weisman


    A-MA-ZING. Rep. Patrick Murphy, running for Senate in Fla., came out in favor of @TheIranDeal. No one expected that. Politics have flipped
    12:08 PM – 31 Aug 2015

    Laura Rozen @lrozen

    How the Iran Nuclear Deal Weakened AIPAC, Washington’s Most Powerful Interest Group

    The American Israel Public Affairs Committee placed all of its chips on its multi-million dollar campaign to scuttle the Iran deal, and it now appears it will lose that bet.

    5:01 AM – 1 Sep 2015

    Once again Obama has done the impossible. Meanwhile Pat Murphy’s opponent “true progressive” Alan Grayson refuses to support the disarmament plan.

  13. 13
    Redshift says:


    For proof, he’s paying idiot trolls to play idiot trolls. If he had any brains at all he’d pay them to be smart trolls.

    They can’t fake that. At best, you get the classic characterization of Newt Gingrich – a stupid person’s idea of what a smart person is like.

    Which, come to think of it, is pretty much exactly what our troll is like.

  14. 14
    David Koch says:

    @jl: True. Yesterday’s Anchorage Daily News had a huge (yuuuuuuuge) banner headline in support.

  15. 15
    David Koch says:

    Obama being mobbed in Anchorage

    Pic #1 (even the Secret Service is smiling)

    Pic #2

  16. 16
    Amir Khalid says:

    Maybe he doesn’t hate Jeb that much. Maybe Jeb, as the establishment man and presumed frontrunner, was merely the most obvious target for Trump to attack.

    Jeb is the party establishment’s candidate, Scott Walker the man for the billionaires who don’t fancy Jeb, and it turns out that neither can campaign worth beans. There’s a peloton of no-hopers including the token black man and the token woman. Out in front is the Donald, who looks about as presidential as Biff Tannen from Back To The Future. Is it any wonder that Mitt Romney fancies his chances against them?

  17. 17
    jl says:


    ” But why does Trump hate Jeb so much? ”

    A lot of people say that Trump is not serious, but I think there is a good chance that he is very serious. I think right now, early in the campaign, might be the best time to do as much damage to Jeb? as possible. Jeb? has the money and GOP establishment backing to limp along until most of the others drop out even if he continues to make a fool of himself, and then the money and hordes of operatives can concentrate on Trump and trying to rig the GOP primary process. A lot rides on what individual states decide to do for their primaries, and I am sure Bush henchmen will be on the case around the country.

    Trump needs to make Jeb? look like an weak idiot doofus now.

    Trump may have really serious political ambitions, and has been frustrated by his lack of success in getting something off the ground in the past. Now he sees his chance and is going for it. Very good chance he doesn’t believe all that garbage he is spouting, he just knows what sells. There is even a chance that he knows how NATO works, despite his nonsensical and self-contradictory remarks on foreign policy he’s made recently. He just knows what tone and BS gives the impression of strength and mastery that the GOP base will go for, even if a person has to be butt ignorant to fall for it.

    Heck, he just flat said that his written policy proposals are BS for wonks and reporters, what is important is that his supporters trust him to do the right thing and do a good job.

    And as a matter of pure electioneering he may be right. Reagan was not the rigid ideological fool that the GOP worships now. Reagan knew when to go red meat right, when to go reactionary, when to dogwhistle racism and class resentment, when to go moderate and even when to swerve a little to the left (dealing with Gorby and nuclear arms control, to the horror of his neocon supporters). And from what I have read of Reagan’s biographies and his letters, he seems to me to have been an arrogant person who did not really take rigid principles very seriously (though he said he did, of course), he trusted his gut sense and his righteous wrath at wrongdoing and evil, good ol’ very simple minded common sense, stereotypes and deeply embedded fancies, and such and so forth type of random things that extremely arrogant people tend to pay attention to inside their heads.

    I figure Trump is at least as arrogant as Reagan.

  18. 18
    David Koch says:

    Very pretty Democrat in Anchorage runs into Obama vows never to wash hand.

    President caught buying votes

  19. 19
    RK says:

    @David Koch: Carson beats Trump in a head to head. Have polls at this time been predictive historically?

  20. 20
    Geoduck says:

    @jl: Yeah, I’ve read the Alaska folks have been trying to get the name changed for decades at a federal level, but the Ohio contingent kept kneecapping their efforts.

  21. 21
    David Koch says:

    This very cool. I submitted questions to PPP to ask in their poll and they did (Page 6, Q 35 thur 38) though they rephrased my original question

  22. 22
    RK says:

    Very good chance he doesn’t believe all that garbage he is spouting, he just knows what sells.

    Ya think?

  23. 23
    jl says:

    @Geoduck: And, from my experiences up there, there are plenty of progressives up in Alaska. They are badly outnumbered, but certainly enough to give a guy a hearty welcome. And also, less rigid partisan rancor between political camps. I don’t know if it is small population state thing, or some remnant of frontier attitude that remains up there. But my experience is that groups and individiuals with extremely diverse political views can be friends and do good faith public and personal business up there, much more so than what I have seen on the outside (‘the outside’ is us losers down in the lower 48).

    Edit: the acid test up there is whether you ‘believe’ in Alaska.

  24. 24
    jl says:

    @RK: He many not believe it all, but what part of that garbage does he believe? He’s spouted enough for that to be real concern. And the big question is, what the hell would the sleazeball do? I think there is a good chance Reagan didn’t believe all the stuff he said, but the results were usually not good.

  25. 25
    VOR says:

    @jl: Read Tbogg’s latest. Short version: Bristol Palin says nobody in Alaska calls the mountain Denali. Cue video of her mother, half-term Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, calling the mountain Denali.

  26. 26
    jl says:

    @David Koch: Looks like they think Fox News should run the country. Sad results on question about birthplaces of Obama and Cruz. Talk about an ass backwards bunch of people.

  27. 27
    jl says:

    @VOR: I don’t recall hearing locals up there refer to it as McKinley much at all, usually they say Denali. Tourists say Mckinley, but I remember hearing rangers set them straight on the ‘real’ name at the orientation at the park gateway museum in Talkeetna.

    Edit: and that was before Obama, unless he used his super evil genius time machine again.

  28. 28
    David Koch says:

    @jl: The President has rabid fans even in red areas like Idaho.

    Here’s some amazing photos from earlier this year.

    Ironically, the only place the President wouldn’t be welcomed is deep blue Netroot nation.

  29. 29
    mai naem mobile says:

    I saw pictures of Obama with the Alaska governor yesterday and,granted they were pictures,but they looked like they got along. It didn’t look like those fake smile politico pics you normally see. He’s a Republican turned independent who believes in climate change. Makes me wonder if he was a Republican because it’s too difficult to get voted in as a Dem in Alaska.

  30. 30

    That’s a number with seven figures that I didn’t have yesterday.

    When life gets interesting it gets interesting.

  31. 31
    xenos says:

    New passport? Or a bit of a fine?

  32. 32
    Hkedi says:

    @mai naem mobile: That could be very possible. Left/right politics can get very strange in Alaska and Hawaii. Linda Lingle, the ex-republican governor of Hawaii was widely known as a closeted lesbian. There was a famous attack by her democratic challenger on that point that backfired massively on him.

  33. 33
    Zinsky says:

    I love the “boxers and socks” imagery and Sharpie writing on the back quip. You are a funny lady, Anne!

  34. 34
    Another Holocene Human says:

    Wow, I’m not fond of long reads but this list of tweets mainly by people I’d never heard of approached incoherence. It’s snippets of a conversation I wasn’t part of, and I’m not sure what relevance their real-time hot takes have to JEB!’s prospects next month.

    And who is B Schooley? Asked yesterday and never answered.

  35. 35
    Another Holocene Human says:

    @David Koch: Pat Murphy and Alan Grayson have both declared that they’re running for Rubio’s Senate seat.

    Wonder if this will change any “true progressive”‘s minds, or if dKos “liberals” will continue to sh!t on their sitting president’s agenda, insist Murphy is something something too conservative (why? they can’t point to his record), and besides, Alan Grayson showboated on the House floor.

    Mica (also a Central Florida congresscrittur) showboated in just as ridiculous a way and the GOP thought it was so embarrassing they stripped him of the chairmanship of his favorite committee and gave it to somebody quiet-roomier. Guess that shows Boehner’s priorities.

    Mugging for cameras = legislative excellence, if you’re a firebagger True Progressive.

  36. 36
    Joy says:

    Ewwww! It’s too early in the morning to have the image of Jeb!s hairy back in my mind, sharpie or no sharpie.

  37. 37
    Joy says:

    @jl: Bristol Palin says she has never heard it called Denali before. No one she knows calls it Denali, except her Mom did.

  38. 38
    ET says:

    I think JEB got into the race because he looked at the then current crop of candidates and decided that he was going to run to the rescue and when he arrived – because he was JEB and a Bush – everyone would flock to him. Then the race to beat up Hillary – wife of the man who beat his dad – would really begin.

  39. 39
    Karen S. says:

    @Mike G: Nice. I would switch out cad, replace it with cur, and it’s perfect.

  40. 40
    Paul in KY says:

    That ‘barbarities’ comment does sound like something Richard III would have said.

  41. 41
    Paul in KY says:

    @David Koch: Very nice pics, David. Thanks for sharing them.

  42. 42
    Ruckus says:

    Typing that comment was difficult with my tongue so firmly planted in cheek.

  43. 43
    Anoniminous says:



  44. 44
    Matt McIrvin says:

    @Joy: So, now that this is associated with Obama, is the notion that anyone ever called it Denali going to go down the Republican memory hole?

  45. 45
    Mom Says I'm Handsome says:

    @Paul in KY: Jeb! said this in Spanish to an audience in Florida (because, you know, cultural outreach and “Look what I can do!”) — “barbaridad” would translate to “outrage”.

  46. 46
    Paul in KY says:

    @Mom Says I’m Handsome: Darn it, Mom. You had to go & ruin my finely crafted joke ;-)

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