Well, it’s been an interesting few months…
My last post, I was having a lot of problems with anger and sadness. I spent four days in the inpatient psychiatric ward in observation. I slept a LOT during that time. After I got out, I was going to individual counseling every other day for the first two weeks, then weekly after that. My wife and I started marriage counseling.
Our marriage is troubled. Some of that is my fault. It takes two people to make a marriage work, and it takes two people to break a marriage. I won’t go into details, except to say that in some respects we’re in a better place as a couple, and in others we are not. I don’t know if or how long we’ll last, but I’ll own my share of the responsibility for that.
After a couple of months it became obvious to me that I needed a new start in my life. I started applying for positions with the federal government all over the west. 106 applications went out. 63 of them were forwarded to the hiring managers as “highly qualified”. Four resulted in interviews, and two resulted in job offers, both in the same city, for sub-agencies of the same department.
I have accepted a position with the US Department of Agriculture in Salt Lake City, UT. I start the day after Labor Day. The position is managing Enterprise Messaging, which is a glorified way of saying email. It’s a pay-band jump to GS-12 from GS-11, and it includes the possibility of making GS-13 within 18 months. The last few days have been about packing my stuff. My wife and I are driving out there, starting Monday. My daughter will be staying with her aunt, who teaches at her high school here. Daughter is not thrilled at all about having to change high schools. She just started her Junior year. She’s doing well on a new medication for her Crohn’s disease, but all the recent stress is not helping her. We are concerned about her, and are looking at ways to keep her here to go to school with her friends. I don’t know how that’s going to play out. I’m taking her this afternoon to practice parallel parking for her driver’s test Monday morning. The boy is well ensconced at University of Central Oklahoma, in the dorms. He pledged a frat there. I like these boys. Requirement to maintain a 2.8 GPA, and no drinking by pledges at Frat events, even if they’re over 21 like he is. 15 hours of community service per semester.
Once I get to SLC, one of the first things I’ll do is go to the VA there to schedule appointments, including more marriage and individual counseling.
My wife will return to OKC after a week, and manage selling the house. The government is paying for the move, so once the the house is sold, she’ll use one of their qualified movers to pack everything out and move it to SLC. We’ll be looking for a nice house in the meantime. Houses there are more expensive than here, but we’re planning on downsizing anyway. We both love our house here in OKC, but it really is too big for two people. I’ll be living in a corporate hotel for a couple months probably. I’ll be flying around a bit, too. Training in Colorado, meetings in Pennsylvania, and so forth.
The dog had surgery. Removed a bunch of calcium stones the size of dimes and quarters from her bladder. Poor thing only weighs 9 pounds, so you can imagine how small her bladder was in the first place. But she’s back to her normal old self, which means pretty much running the place and making people pet and snuggle with her, which is OK by me, to be completely honest.
So, that’s where I am. I’m better in many respects than I was, but I still have a lot of work to do. I hope, as things normalize in my life, to return to blogging here more often. Also, I’d like to thank John, who kept checking up on me, and letting me know that there were people who cared.
Another Holocene Human
Wow, Sooner, that’s a lot of changes. Good luck with the new job. At least you have some help with the move. Hope your kid can stay in her school, that’s really important to kids that age.
I guess the lesson here is sometimes you just need to stop the world and get off. Take time to reassess. Take time to heal. It’s hard when you are manic-busy as you will be for a while, but I hope you are making time to heal.
Denali
So good to hear from you. Thanks for telling us your story. Life is complicated, intertwined with our other people, a lot of keeping on. We are all hoping for the best for all of you. Please keep us in the loop.
magurakurin
Best of luck to you. Salt Lake is a beautiful city. The Wasatch Range is stunning…and the skiing is so good…if that is something that interests you. Glad to hear you are still keepin on keepin on. I’ve enjoyed you posts since way back in the Daily KOS days.
bystander
Congratulations, Soonergrunt, on facing yourself in the mirror and doing the tough stuff. Best wishes for your success at home and in your professional life.
Sourmash
So very glad to hear you are back, even part time and that you are trying to make your life work. I’ve always appreciated your posts and perspective so come back regularly when you are able. As a long time lurker, I can say you’re a big reason I love this place. SLC is a great town in many ways and I hope you enjoy the experience. Peace to you.
Nancy
I believe that counseling can work for people. I hope it all works for you. A new start with the support you describe and knowing that you still have a way to go, it all sounds promising.
I’ve missed your perspective, glad you didn’t just vanish.
Best wishes for the journey ahead.
Kay
Hi Sooner. I don’t know if it means anything, but everyone I’ve ever talked to who traveled to Salt Lake City said both that it was great and they were surprised it was great.
Baud
Best of luck to you and your family.
satby
Sooner, happy to see you back and feeling better. Sounds like you’ve got it all moving in the right direction and are feeling optimistic, and that’s a good thing. Best wishes for continuing progress and a better life to you and your family.
GHayduke (formerly lojasmo)
Thanks for checking in, sooner. If it matters, there are a lot of people (and some socks) pulling for you here.
Jason
Amir Khalid
I hope things work out for you and your family, especially with the marriage. Keep us posted on everything.
greennotGreen
Hey, Sooner, it’s great to hear from you and great to hear you’re in a better place. Moving is stressful, so take it slow!
SFAW
Everyone else has said (and will say) it better, but: I’m glad you’re doing better, and I’ll keep hoping you get through all of this with everything intact. And that the remaining stuff that still needs to get better, DOES get better.
Be well.
debit
You’ve been in my thoughts. Glad you posted and even more glad to hear that things are looking better. Good luck and hang in there.
geg6
Glad to see you here and glad you are moving through the dark side closer to the light. Good luck and good vibes with all of it. You’ve been missed.
Glidwrith
Welcome, well come and well being to come. SLC has been made beautiful, but there are literal cracks in the facade if you look carefully around the city. The sushi, however, is outstanding.
I wish you all the joy that a spouse, kids, pets and a new job can bring.
cmorenc
Use the fabulous outdoor recreational opportunities in the SLC area and Utah to help with your personal and marital healing and family adjustment. Tons of nice, scenic day hikes within the city limits and within less than an hour’s drive. For a state that’s even redder on federal and some social issues than even Oklahoma, the SLC area is surprisingly progressive in some very nuts and bolts civic-level ways, e.g. the fabulous light-rail system (albeit the winter olympics was responsible in part for that), and you’ll find that the Mormon social influence over SLC is heavily diluted by all the outdoor-sports hippies, rock climbers, and skiers who have moved there, even if skiing isn’t your thing.
Ultraviolet Thunder
Hi back! I’m pleased to hear that you’ve found ways to deal with the challenges in your life. Trouble finds all of us, but the smart and capable ones work through it.
Moving is a stressful hassle but I think you’ll like where you end up. My sister lived in SLC for ten years and I enjoyed visiting there. They say eventually you get used to seeing the mountains and don’t notice them, but that never got old for me. Lovely scenery, and a pretty relaxed way of life.
Happy trails to you.
MazeDancer
What wonderful, positive news. Of course, massive hard work will continue, but sounds like you have a solid, sustainable foundation on which to do it.
When my parents moved junior year, I stayed in the familiar school. Was actually good for me being independent. In today’s Skype, text, email world, staying in touch, daily, can easily happen. So, it is completely worth trying if Sooner Aunt is willing.
May all good things surround you and yours, Sooner.
A Ghost To Most
Sometimes a big change helps. Best of luck.
debbie
It’s tough making the decision to change so much. Good luck and hoping it all works out even better than you’ve planned.
OzarkHillbilly
Happy to hear from you. Keep strong. It’s not easy.
David Fud
Great to see you around. Best wishes on your continuing work.
Eric
Big changes coming in my life too right now. So everyday I take stock of the journey thus far and make sure I appreciate each day of love or non hate I can get from the world
Iowa Old Lady
So glad to hear how things are going. It sounds like work is going well, though family life is stressed. Best wishes to the whole Sooner family.
PlanetPundit (used to be Sir Laffs-a-Lot)
Way to go, Sooner! I always thought you were the best! The change will do a lot of good of course and SLC for it’s quirks is a supportive town.
The courage it takes to face very moment of every day I understand totally; I am a 45 year PTSD survivor myself. Go well.
Eric
I could not edit. But wanted to say that I enjoy your voice and along with many others here, you are a piece of the good parts of my journey. Stick around these parts, you make all of our lives richer with your experiences and views.
russell
best of luck soonergrunt!
Gindy51
Whatever you do, get on the “Bench” anything below is socked with smog during the inversion season (winter). We lived in Sandy, nice quiet mostly Mormon community, until their devil spawn started to harass my 1st grade daughter. We were out of there so fast it would have made your head spin off your shoulders. You have no little kids, but be aware the LDS will try to get you to join their cult and invite you to all sorts of nifty things. Whatever you do, do NOT show a shred of interest or they will hound you no end.
Making sure to mow your lawn on Sunday in shorts iwth no shirt (or a bikini top for the Mrs.) with a beer can or bottle in your hand (empty if you do not drink) is a sure way to make them stay well away from you. If they invite you to a ward picnic, ask if there will be a keg or if you have to bring your own booze. Worked for us!
WereBear
Very much this. She needs a bit of re-adjustment time, and being ripped away from her high school would be highly detrimental.
I admire you for making changes that it seems were a long time coming, but highly necessary. So many people just spiral down and down, taking their loved ones with them, because they can’t or won’t make the big changes that are screaming to be made.
You did that. I’m so proud.
JPL
@Eric: I want to second this sentiment…
Stick around these parts, you make all of our lives richer with your experiences and views.
Sooner, Good luck with the move and continue taking what comes your way, a day at a time.
HRA
Best wishes for success in all of your plans and endeavors.
CarolM
Hi, I’ve been a long-time lurker here and I wanted to just say how much I’ve enjoyed your posts and how glad I am that things are getting better for you. I hope the relationship between you and your wife gets better and stronger. For what it’s worth, my husband and I went through a nasty separation 10 years ago and it seemed hopeless, but we are celebrating our 18th anniversary in October. What worked for us at first was a change of scene (he moved out of state to pursue a new career, once he improved his work situation it was easier for him to work on the relationship). Since then, we have found that open communication is the most important thing to keep us together.
Best wishes to you and your kids!
WereBear
@WereBear: And speaking of teens… and I speak as a once-troubled teen…
Let Sooner-Daughter do what she wants.
“Doing what we want” has been twisted from our Puritan heritage into a Bad Thing. But it’s not. It’s thrown at victims by people who are angry because we are not doing what they want. In women, it’s called selfish because women are expected to sacrifice themselves.
But as we mature, what we want becomes more and more what we need.
I’ve seen teens absolutely crumble because the adults around them dictate “what’s good for them” when being left alone is what they want and need. They are “helped” so much that they never get a moment’s peace and have more tasks heaped on them when they are troubled because they couldn’t handle the tasks they had already.
If she wants to stay in her high school, let her. Give her the space she needs, too. Sounds like Sooner Aunt is a great place for her to land. Let her grow on her own, with her friends and her aunt and with her parents in her life while they are happy and functional.
Let the future take care of itself. Let her make her own choices… she’s so close to having the expectation of doing that, anyway.
I think this is absolutely the right thing for her.
MomSense
Thanks for checking in with us and letting us know how you are doing. You’re doing a lot of good work and I’m happy to hear you are going to keep working with counsellors in SLC. We are all rooting for you and your family. Stay strong.
gnomedad
Happy to see you back. Good luck!
kc
Sooner, it’s so great to see you! Congrats on your new job; I hope you love it and the move, and that things work out well for you and your family.
You’ll be busy as heck, but it would be great if you could drop be here every once in a while!
Emma
Best of luck to you and your family! Come back from time to time and let us know how it’s going.
Schlemazel
So . . . you gonna change your handle to ‘mormongrunt’?
Congratulations on making it as far as you have & best wish on making it further. Seems like you have the right attitude to do that. I have missed your insights here and hope you can drop by again, at least occasionally, but you do what’s best for you. Thanks.
Hillary Rettig
Welcome back! Just met a young intrepid entrepreneurial thoughtful guy who lived in several major cities before deciding to settle in SLC. He said it was the best by far – most livable (inexpensive) and the people are nice and outdoorsy-healthy and surprisingly liberal. Based on what he said, this could turn out to be a wonderful move for you and your whole family, including daughter.
Oh, and my parents moved from NYC to remote (seriously) suburbs when I was in 8th grade. Hated that move, but ultimately it was one of the most interesting and educational and inspiring events of my life.
gene108
I don’t think this changes.
I was in in-patient 12+ years ago and I get better gradually, but there’s still work to do.
Good luck in your recovery.
All the best to you and family.
TaMara (BHF)
Glad for the update, although I hadn’t realized you were MIA for so long. Mostly because I secretly stalk you on twitter. ;-)
Summer
Congratulations on your successes and on getting to this place, Sooner. Best wishes for you and your family.
I want to second the suggestion to let Sooner Daughter make the choice. I moved my senior year from city suburbs to a small town and that was how my parents handled it. There are always things you miss (I was a cheerleader and my boyfriend was a football player!) and making new friends can be difficult, but, let’s face it, high school mostly sucks and the possibilities opened up by change can be great, especially when you’re a junior and know yourself better. And I certainly look back and am glad I left behind those very things I missed.
It was great to see your name there on the FP this morning. Peace and joy to you and yours.
Isobel
Great to hear from you. Here’s hoping that things go well in your move.
Vtr
In your next message to us, please do not use the phrase “my last post…” Best luck to you.
ThresherK (GPad)
Spousal TK is an MSW. Glad to hear you are attending to yourself and spouse.
RSA
Good luck, Sooner! You’re living an interesting life… Congratulations on taking charge of it.
the Conster
Good luck to you and your family, Sooner! Glad to hear you’re getting out of godforsaken OK. The whole state is going to be a giant sinkhole sooner (ha!) than later.
dww44
Thanks for the update. This is defnitely good news to hear. Do come back and share the journey with us, to the extent that you wish to. As others have shared, we’ve missed your posts and your unique voice.
donovong
Safe roads and easy travel, Grunt. I have followed your path via twitter as well (@PalmettoProgres, and trust that you will find yourself in a better place in more ways than one.
Randy P
Always enjoy reading your posts. Grateful to see you back and wishing you and all of your family luck with the changes.
When we moved our younger daughter to the Philly area just before freshman year (like two weeks before) she was furious, rightfully so. But for many reasons we had no real choice. Despite the fact that she made most of her lifelong friends here, fell in love with the city, and considers it (so it seems to me) her hometown, she’s also still mad about the move, 10+ years later. Such is adolescence.
dmbeaster
Welcome to the West. SLC is a pretty nice place to live — my brother lived there for years. I flew there frequently in the many years that my sister lived in Pocatello. Hope you find new happiness in a new place.
WaterGirl
So glad to know how you are doing, Sooner, and good on Cole to have kept in touch to help you remember that we all care.
In my experience, new jobs are really hard for the first 6 months, even if the new job is a good one! So be patient with yourself and I hope you and your wife can be patient with each other. Sounds like Sooner daughter has a big decision to make, and I agree with those who have said that her making the decision will lead to the best outcome, regardless of whether she stays with her aunt or moves across country with you guys.
Glad SoonerPup is okay!!
Sending you love and wishes that you find peace.
c u n d gulag
OY!
Best of luck to you!
You’ve more than earned some!
SuperHrefna
Thanks for the update and good luck with all the changes to come! If SoonerDaughter is sporty or outdoorsy she may find that moving to SLC is a blessing in disguise, because there will be many handsome rock climbers and skiers to hang out with, plus all the fun that comes from being a teenager in a city.
pamelabrown53
Damn, Sooner, you are a trooper. Glad to know you’re doing better. Lot’s of pitfalls, problems and roadblocks but you’ve persevered and are presented with lots of opportunities.
Wishing you and your family the very best. Look forward to the times when we can catch up.
Your old “friend” from daily Kos days,
Pamela
Felonius Monk
It’s good to hear from you. I wish all the best to you and your family as you take on this new challenge.
Tom Levenson
Dear Sooner,
So glad to see you back. So sorry you’ve had such a rotten time. Newhart others have said: you’ve been missed, and we’re/I’m hoping the climb from here is easier, steady, and takes you to a place you value.
YellowJournalism
Change can be good. It gives you new goals to keep your mind focused and a fresh start as you work through everything.
I agree with those that say allow Soonerdaughter to stay in her school. With Her Crohn’s and the age she’s at, it will relieve a lot of her stress to be in a familiar environment and Among her friends. It also gives you and the Mrs a chance to focus on each other without worrying if there’s tension in the home affecting your daughter. If that makes sense.
Doug R
@WereBear: When school’s out, you might want to remind the high schooler you now live 11 hours drive from San Francisco or Los Angeles.
Zippity
So good to hear that things are moving in a good and exciting direction for you. As a longtime lurker and Twitter follower, who first started reading you on DKos when my brother was serving in Iraq, you’ve always provided an interesting and important perspective. Best wishes for continued progress and peace.
boatboy_srq
[[HUG]]
Welcome back. You’ve been missed. Sounds like a lot of good has come after all: best of luck getting through the move and the work. Counseling helps – as long as you want it to help, and it sounds like you do. I wouldn’t worry too much about the young’un adjusting to a new school: young folks are a lot more adaptable than even they think. I think you’ll like SLC once you get settled in. I daresay all the BJ commentariat is with you.
And it looks like Schlemazel beat me to the punch on the handle change ,-)
BGinCHI
Late arriving but great to see you here, SG. Been wondering how you were faring. There are a lot of platitudes about life being a journey and needing to be lived one day at a time, but there is a kernel of truth there.
Sounds like you are finding your way. That takes strength.
Best to you.
Linda Featheringill
It’s really, really good to hear from you. Keep us posted, whether things are going well or not [as will be the case occasionally].
We’re a bunch of brats but we are good listeners.
And we’re pulling for you.
xoxo
Skepticat
I admire your strength, determination, and courage and wish you and your entire family the best. And as you’re doing rather than wishing, you’ve earned it.
Spanky
Peace to you and your family.
Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
Good to hear from you, Soonergrunt. Your willingness to ask for help makes all the difference in the world. Hope things continue to get better for you and your family. We’re all here anytime you need to talk.
Mingobat f/k/a Karen in GA
Great to see you! Very glad to know you’re getting a handle on so many things, and have the strength and clarity to work on the rest.
And because this is Balloon Juice, I’m also happy that the dog is doing well.
SatanicPanic
Great to hear from you SG, it sounds like you’ve had some really tough times and it’s good to hear you’re working through them
Mustang Bobby
Like all of the good wishes above, I send them on to you, and for what it’s worth, I hold you in the Light.
Josie
it’s so good to hear from you and to know that you will be posting, even if only once in a while. I always appreciate your unique perspective and your unflinching honesty.
mellowjohn
@Gindy51:
some friends of my moved to sandy in the mid-90s. both were wine mavens and had an extensive collection, which they hired a separate, temp-controlled truck to move from TN. they were very happy to turn the mormon food-storage room in their new house into a full-fledged wine cellar.
Baquist
Good to hear from you, and thanks for sharing. Sounds like you’re on a solid path. Best wishes to you and your family.
Betty Cracker
Sometimes when everything is fucked up and bullshit, you have to make a drastic change to get your life back. I’ve done that a few times — hits a reset somehow. Hope it works for you!
I had a job for several years that required my presence in SLC for a couple of weeks annually. It’s a beautiful area. The people are super nice. I found the lack of litter in a sizeable city odd but welcome. Best of luck, brother.
D. Hyland
Sounds like you’re doing a lot of hard work. Good luck!
wmd
Welcome back. Keep at the marriage counseling, hard work can make a difference in many things.
Congratulations on the new job!
Kay (not the front-pager)
Good to hear from you. Just the other day I was thinking about you and wondering how you were doing. None of the things you are doing are easy, especially when you were starting off in such a sad and angry place. Not to sound corny or anything, but your courage is inspirational.
I’ve only been to Salt Lake City once, and then only overnight. But I can say, the scenery is stunning. I was driving my son and his dog home from college in SF, in a big rental truck with all his 4 years’ accumulation of stuff (but that’s another story. Don’t get me started). We drove in from the west about dusk. I don’t know if that was the Salt Lake(s) we drove over or salt fields or what, but wow! The surface glowed and sparkled and almost seemed florescent. The following morning we drove out of town into a stunning mountainscape. I keep using the word stunning because I don’t know how to explain the weird, otherworldly character of the landscape. As we crested the mountains and came into Wyoming’s high plateau it felt like we were entering another planet. The colors and shapes, the gigantic windmills marching toward us singing their eerie song, it was sort of beautiful and very strange. I would love to do it again. Only, not with a gigantic truck, a young man worried about his future now that he had graduated, and a 6 lb. dog.
But I think/hope you like it!
Lurking Canadian
Good to hear you are on the mend. It takes a lot of courage to make these kinds of changes and a lot of courage to talk about it with strangers.
mai naem mobile
Glad you’re doing better. You’re going to enjoy SLC.I have a friend whose sister did her residency there in the 80s and she said it’s changed a lot since. Good school system. A hotspot for high tech start ups. I don’t know if this is still true but she said in the 80s you had to travel to the edge of town to get alcohol.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
It’s so good to see you post! You’ve been on my mind, as you have for many others here. Thanks for checking in, and I look forward to reading your insightful thoughts again.
SeaSteel
Good to hear from you…. Missed your posts!
I grew up in SLC so happy to help give some lay of the land if you aren’t already deluged with offers of kindness. In general, east is better than west (they put the landfill by the lake so that the smell of the landfill could dampen the smell of the lake), higher is better (see above – winter inversions), but in general lots of neighborhoods and something for everyone.
Ruckus
Sooner, congrats, sounds very much like progress. Asking for help can be a very hard thing for some to do, but it can be the step that is vitally necessary. Glad you made that choice.
We do miss you around here and I’m sure I speak for many in saying we hope things work out well for you and your family.
Elizabelle
Welcome back Sooner. Congrats on the job; good luck finding a great house. You and family and cute white (more sprightly) pup are in my thoughts.
gogol's wife
Congratulations on your new job, and good luck with everything else. You sound much better. Yay for goggie.
Joy in FL
@WereBear: Wow! incredibly good advice– I wish I had that on my behalf way back when, and later when I could have given it helpfully to others.
“… what we want becomes more what we need…” is also true for most of us as adults. Thanks for expressing this so well.
Kristine
Best of luck with everything. May it all work out in the best way possible for everybody.
Steeplejack (phone)
Good to hear from you, Sooner.
Bostondreams
Glad that things seem better. Good luck as you follow a new path in SLC.
Joy in FL
So glad for the update. I’ve wondered how you were.
Sending you good wishes…
raven
Hang tough.
Ruckus
@Betty Cracker:
Sooner, also what Betty said.
Change can be a new starting point to help you make things better. Have had to make pretty complete life changes three times. I’m a better person for it. It takes work of course, what doesn’t? It can be scary or it can be an adventure, I’ve had both. And I find that far more people than I ever realized have to make major life changes at least once. This life thing is a road, one you’ve never seen before. It has corners and intersections, some of them blind. It has fast and slow parts, rough and smooth parts. What it has most is intersections, with no road signs. The way is the one you chose. How you travel whatever way is the key, not which path you chose to get there.
Steve from Antioch
That many changes all at once would send me off to hide in a closet anywhere.
You got some hard bark on you.
J R in WV
Sooner!
Great to hear from you. I guess we all knew you had run into trouble there in OK, and were working hard to recover. So congratulations on getting at least part way through those problems.
I hope you find a good and simpatico counselor of one flavor or another in your new location.
We were in SLC some while my brother worked for Novell in Provo. They lived in Draper, which was a little ways from metro Salt Lake.
I agree with the previous poster who recommended finding a residence high enough into the mountains to get above the captured bad air. Most of the time the climate is great, but the inversions can be terrible, and when they ban wood stove use you know things are bad.
The Mormons will be odd, you can count on it. They will pester you if they think they can convert you, and will totally ignore you once they decide you can only be converted posthumously.
Salt Lake is a good center for traveling in the old western historic areas, from Yellowstone in the north to Four Corners and the Navajo Nation in the south. Even if you don’t ski, the mountains are beautiful, and the salt flats have their own beauty.
Take care, keep us posted on how things go. Don’t fear the unknown!
We are retired now, so that source of tension is gone, thankfully. Mrs J had a stressful job, exciting at times, but even more stressful then than when it was routine and boring. She loved it, but it was hard on her, and management was foul.
Working for the government, in your case, will be much better. I always felt that having that civil service structure to my management was very beneficial. When managers have a rule book, even if they spend time trying to find loopholes, in the end the rules work for your protection.
You are a good guy, making good decisions even when it’s hard. Like leaving your daughter with her aunt for high school, not an easy decision to make, and it shows your sense of responsibility that you made the best decision for her, as difficult as it was.
Best of luck!! Keep us posted, and if you don’t feel up to being a front-page poster here, then just be a commenter like the rest of us. But do keep in touch with your e-friends at Balloon-Juice~!
xjmueller
Sooner,
Best wishes. Good to hear from you.
Tripod
Downsides to leaving Oklahoma…. well, it’s hard to get good chicken fried steak.
Godspeed.
Iowa Old Lady
@Steve from Antioch: Change is exhausting, even when it’s a change you want. The last time I changed jobs, I was going to bed at 8:30 every night for a while. Everything was a strain from planning classes I never taught before to figuring out how the copy machine worked and finding the ladies’ room.
Thor Heyerdahl
All the best to you and yours soonergrunt. Another reader of your yours since your days at Daily Kos.
Thor Heyerdahl
All the best to you and yours soonergrunt. Another reader of your yours since your days at Daily Kos.
(not sure if this will duplicate since FYWP put the first comment in moderation for an email typo)
Ash Can
Thanks so much for posting this update. It’s so good to hear about the positive things in your life now. Here’s wishing you all the very best in your new job and new home, and hoping that things continue their upward movement for you.
John M. Burt
Take good care.
gelfling545
@MazeDancer: One could consider it kind of a practice run for college. She wouldn’t be on her own, yet is out from under the protective parental umbrella.
Also, marriage counseling that is actually addressing serious issues can make for some tense times along the path. Perhaps less exposure will equal less anxiety for her.
Rosalita
Sooner, as everyone else, I have missed your posts here. Good on you for facing the difficulties head on. All too often people stick their head in the sand because it’s easier. I look forward to your posting and I wish you the very best getting settled in with the new job and SLC.
lurker dean
good luck, SG!
Eric U.
winters in SLC can cause problems with the respiratory system, so don’t forget to go up in the mountains when you can. Or Zion.
I really loved it there. Didn’t want my kids to go to school there because they are underfunded and overpopulated. The religious stuff could get a little annoying at times, but the people are nice, so that makes up for a lot.
WaterGirl
@Ruckus:
I hardly know what to say, Ruckus. This blew me away, in a good way.
Zinsky
I don’t know if this helpful but I will post it anyway – Everyone has problems and everyone has mental illness. It is simply a matter of degree and how effective one’s coping strategies are. You sound like you are doing just fine. Work hard on your marriage, because no other relationship is ever going to be important as that one, even with your kids. They will grow old and grow away from you. Your wife is with you until the day you die, if you are lucky. We are all flawed human beings. You must love to be loved.
trollhattan
@Gindy51:
Family is wondering why I’m laughing so hard at the moment….
Welcome back from the brink, Sooner, sounds like you’ve had more on your plate than most folks get in half a lifetime. The move sounds positive and while I have reservations about my times in SLC the region itself is beautiful and full of opportunities in them thar hills. Besides, you’re decamping OK, which seems like its own reward.
My best wishes to your daughter especially, mid-teens can be challenging even without medical issues.
raven
@Zinsky: There are plenty of successful divorces. Bad shit happens to good people.
Genine
Wow, big changes! I hope they go well. I wish you the best of luck!
feebog
Did not read the entire thread, but I’m glad to hear from you and that you are still with us. Good luck with the new job.
FortGeek
Good to see you–and better to see things looking up.
Redshift
Ms. Redshift’s mom is from SLC, and I’ve visited a few times. It’s very pretty and easy to navigate. We know some good people there if you want any introductions.
Anne Laurie
Always good to hear from you, Sooner, and especially glad that you’re in a happier place. Sometimes a completely shake-up is what one needs in life!
Joel
DougJ is emblazoned in my mind, because the thread title brought that Staind song to mind. Good luck with your move, Sooner.
Suzanne
Glad to hear from you, Sooner, and I’m glad that things definitely seem to be on the upswing.
Tips for living near shit-tons of Mormons: Don’t ask them about their faith, at all, ever, unless you want to be hounded into eternity. Don’t try to reason with them or expose fallacious thinking. They do a lot of what they do (like Coke is okay but coffee is not) because they’re told to do it and for no other reason. And know that the Mormons who are questioning their faith often spill their guts in weird and sometimes uncomfortable but sometimes amazing ways in private to the Gentiles around them. Often they have incredible and/or horrifying stories to tell. FYI, the City Creek Center mall is owned by the LDS Church, so decide if you want to shop there or not.
joel hanes
sg :
Counseling worked for me; it took years.
Hope it works for you.
Ex-SP4 Hanes,
leeleeFl
Glad some things are better, Sooner. With time, help and hard work, you all will come to a better place. My Sister lives in Edmond a d worked at UCO for many years. Great school. My best to you all, and thank you for all your service to us; especially for reminding me to be grateful for how easy my life really is lately. I tend to gripe about stuff I shouldn’t.
RaflW
I’ll just add my good-to-hear-from-you and good luck wishes. I have a couple friends in the OKC area and lived in Tulsa a loooong time ago. I’ve visited SLC twice to ski and once for a conference, seems like a very nice place in many respects. Amazing landforms and tons of outdoor rec opportunities. And as others have noted, a fairly progressive culture (and not everyone is Mormon by any stretch… And I know a few progressive Mormons, too!)
I hope the corp. hotel thing isn’t too much of a drag. My dad re-located for work a few times, and though I was mostly young and not paying attention, I could tell they were stressful times for my parents. So take ‘er easy, glad to see you’ll be signing up for the support of continued counseling in SLC.
Looking forward to you FP-ing again here as you feel like it.
DougJ
Good to hear from you and good luck with everything!
MaryRC
Best wishes to you and your family. I hope everything works out for you all.
Bex
Whether you ski or not, don’t miss Robert Redford’s Sundance Resort near Provo. It’s a year-round destination with great restaurants, beautiful scenery and film and book-related events. Glad you found a new path.
Stephen Benson
my own re-entry into civilian life after combat duty (vietnam) was marked with many of the exact same issues. the best advice i can give is to do what you are doing. do the job that’s in front of you. step by fucking step, inch by goddamned inch. i can’t promise that the counselling and all that will make your life better. i can promise that your life will get different. for me, different was better.
Ruckus
@Stephen Benson:
Different is frequently enough.
KBS
Good to hear from you! Hang in there.
divF
Be well, SG (it looks like you are doing so).
Villago Delenda Est
Drive on, Sooner. With pride.
Eric U.
@Bex: I remember going to Sundance and seeing a guy with a custom jacket embroidered with, “I belong to the church of the early Sunday morning skiiers”
Johannes
Glad to hear from you, Sooner, and hope that your transition leads you and yours to a better state. You’re in my and la Caterina’s thoughts.
blueskies
As many have said, SLC can be a fun place. However, be prepared for some heavy-handedness from the longtime Mormon rule, and I do mean RULE. My brother-in-law and his family lived there for several years. They never got used to that, and they were all from OK and TX (i.e., they were used to the heavy hand of god bothering nitwits). Try to be very selective about where you eventually buy your home. Seek communities that are as far from Mormon rule/influence as possible. It’s not as easy as one might think.
So, great place with some great people, but be prepared to sigh and shake your head sometimes. Sorta like OKC! ;)
Mary G
I am so glad to hear from you and that you are working so hard and didn’t give up in despair. I also follow you on Twitter, so I knew you were still around, but it’s great to see you on Balloon Juice and in more than 140 characters!
Also glad you are moving out of Tornado Alley. A few of those weather maps you’ve posted scared the crap out of me.
Karmus
Best to you and your family, Soonergrunt.
Patricia Kayden
Congrats on the new job. I used to work at USDA and loved it. Was in D.C.
Hope everything works out for the best.
rikyrah
So glad that you checked in. Glad to hear that you are working on yourself, and trying to get well. Congrats on the new job. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
sharl
It’s good to hear from you SG. Keep on keepin’ on.
sara
Best wishes from the French contingent. -sara
julia
Best wishes for the future, Soonergrunt! I live in Arizona and love to visit Utah…it is a stunningly beautiful state. It is very good to hear from you; you have been in the thoughts of many who read Balloon Juice. Keep us updated when you can!
CaseyL
So good to hear from you, SG! And, wow, a lot of changes-for-the-better since your last check-in, which is also very good to hear.
Your perseverance and strength to make these changes reminds me very much of your heroism during the tornadoes, and when letting us know about your daughter’s diagnosis. You’re a steely guy with a great and good heart.
Best of luck with the new life plan, and do please keep us updated!
Beemer
glad to see the update. Hang in there
phoebes-in-santa fe
Good luck to you and your family, Sooner. Sounds like you’re looking at things squarely and changing what you can and accepting what you can.
Gex
Doing your work. It’s hard. It’s disruptive. But it’s the only way to get to better.
Best of luck to you.
Eric U.
apparently it’s not even controversial that south Salt Lake City is where all the polygamists live. I think near the U is the place where your neighbors are likely to be sane.
mystical chick
Glad to see you back, Sooner. I hope a change of scenery and energy brings good things to your and your wife.
BrianM
Best of luck. The Blue Iguana and Red Iguana have great Mexican, especially if you like Mole sauce. Locals seem to like the Red Iguana better.
stinger
Thanks for checking in here, Soonergrunt. I always enjoy your posts. I’m sure you have many, many things to do and think about, and it’s good of you to take the time to provide this update. A new job in a new town might be just the ticket. Best wishes!
CZHA
I hate to lose a good Sooner, but Salt Lake City’s a good place to live. Thanks for the update. I’ll hold the best of wishes for all the Soonergrunt family.
brantl
Best of luck, Sooner. Are you going to be UtahGrunt, when you settle in? We’re all pulling for you.
Original Lee
I’ve been thinking about you and hoping all was well. Thanks for letting us know you’re OK. It sounds as if you’re on the road to All is Well. What a lot of big changes! Best wishes to you and yours as you put together the newest part of your journey.
Paul in KY
Great to hear from you, Sooner! Congrats on new job.
WaterGirl
@brantl:
NO!! (I hope.) Sorry for shouting.
Henry
Great. Keep it up.
From another one that cares.
w3ski
Cermet
Very happy to hear all the positive and upbeat things occurring; focus on those and continue to fix/address the not good ones and most likely all will turn out real well. Glad so much is going so well!
fidelio
Good luck, and may things work out as well as possible for all concerned.
Frivolous
Good luck to you, Soonergrunt. I wish you well.
Prescott Cactus
May peace be with you Utahgrunt !