Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

All your base are belong to Tunch.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

This really is a full service blog.

This is how realignments happen…

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

This fight is for everything.

Wetsuit optional.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

It’s not even safe to go out and pick up 2 days worth of poop anymore.

There will be lawyers.

Everybody saw this coming.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn – Nancy Pelosi

Reality always wins in the end.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

Where tasty lettuce and good mustard aren’t elitist.

No one could have predicted…

There’s some extremely good trouble headed their way.

They are all Michael Cohen now.

I swear, each month of 2020 will have its own history degree.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Least Surprising Breaking News Ever (Open Thread)

Least Surprising Breaking News Ever (Open Thread)

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CNN says Zimmerman is the shoot-ee this time and that it involves road rage, but who knows? Will update as details become available.

UPDATE: More here. Shorter — someone shot at Zimmerman, shattering his car window, but missed. He got sprayed by broken glass but was not seriously injured. He may know who did it and is cooperating with the cops to work through the very long list of people who would like to shoot him in the face. (Okay, I made up the last part of that sentence.)

Reader Interactions

102Comments

  1. 1.

    Southern Beale

    Early reports are that he was shot in the face — injury is minor — and that it was a road rage incident.

    So weird that guns and shooting incidents just seem to follow this guy around. Gee. Nobody could have anticipated.

  4. 4.

    ruemara

    *snort* how shocking.

  7. 7.

    Germy Shoemangler

    Road rage can be a dangerous thing now with the normalization of loaded guns in cars and trucks. Not long ago a woman was shot in the head by a road rager. A few days later another woman was shot by a rager.

    In my younger, more foolish days, I used to flip people off if they did stupid and dangerous things to me. No more. Don’t want a bullet in my face.

    I wonder if the shooter knew it was George he was shooting.

    I get the impression that Mr. Z. wore a plus-sized chip on his shoulder. When you’re constantly looking for a fight, one always appears.

  8. 8.

    shell

    First wingnut response: ‘What was the color of the shooter?’

  9. 9.

    Duke of Clay

    @Roger Moore: This was my first thought too. Surely this was what the Founding Fathers were dreaming of when they passed the Second Amendment — the gunfight at the OK Corral every time two bozos got pissed at each other in traffic.

  11. 11.

    Ben Cisco

    I wonder if the shooter knew it was George he was shooting.

    It may have gone down that way, but it doesn’t matter. Shootings are so pervasive now, people EXPECT it.

    Which was the NRA’s endgame.

  13. 13.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    @Germy Shoemangler:

    I used to flip people off if they did stupid and dangerous things to me. No more. Don’t want a bullet in my face.

    See, the NRA was right all along; guns do make for a more polite society.

  14. 14.

    Germy Shoemangler

    @Ben Cisco:

    Shootings are so pervasive now, people EXPECT it.

    Which was the NRA’s endgame.

    “Yup. Gonna need more guns. We told you the world’s a dangerous place.”

  16. 16.

    Germy Shoemangler

    @BillinGlendaleCA:

    See, the NRA was right all along; guns do make for a more polite society.

    Certainly made me more polite. Never know when you’ll meet a homicidal maniac with one last straw on his back.

    “Cut in front of me and then slammed on your brakes? No problem have a nice day!”

  19. 19.

    Ajabu

    Oh, Noes!!! Z-Man? Hard to believe, isn’t it?
    It’s just a matter of time with this clown always…

  20. 20.

    JPL

    There was a bullet hole through the passenger window of Zimmerman’s truck. His injury is minor and one reported mentioned that it might have been caused by glass.

  21. 21.

    Amir Khalid

    The story doesn’t even say who was in a rage: was it George or the other guy?

  23. 23.

    Germy Shoemangler

    The bullet missed Zimmerman’s head but he was hit in the face with pieces of the shattered windshield.

    Speculation that it might have been part of an ongoing dispute?

  24. 24.

    Amir Khalid

    @Zandar:
    It’s time to stop the contest, and award George Zimmerman the title of Florida Man of the Decade.

  26. 26.

    Roger Moore

    @Amir Khalid:

    The story doesn’t even say who was in a rage: was it George or the other guy?

    It’s likely that the police and news don’t have the full story yet, so they don’t honestly know who was in a rage. And that’s assuming that it was one or the other and not both.

  27. 27.

    Tree With Water

    I wonder how many Zimmerman’s live within a five mile radius of my house? I don’t have a clue, but I know they’re hereabouts. That’s one measure that can serve to differentiate life in white and black America, i.e., I’m cognizant there exist nuts with guns (and badges) out there, but need not concern myself much beyond that. I don’t fear the nuts with guns especially because I’m an old white guy who treads lightly with people (believe it or not), and I’ve little cause to fear them.

  28. 28.

    Germy Shoemangler

    I went straight to America’s News Source and saw this:

    Zimmerman’s lawyer tells TMZ … his client and the other guy may not be strangers.

    The shooting went down Monday afternoon on a road in Lake Mary, FL … where Zimmerman lives. Police tell us they got a call for a road rage incident. News footage from the scene shows a bullet hole in the front passenger side window of Zimmerman’s truck.

    Zimmerman’s lawyer, Don West, tells TMZ Zimmerman told him he believes he recognized the other driver as someone with whom he had a run in several months ago.

    The lawyer says Zimmerman told him the other driver drove along side his client and fired into the driver’s side window.

    The lawyer says Zimmerman was not struck by a bullet, but rather shattering glass.

    We do not know the race of the other man involved in the shooting.

  29. 29.

    Karen in GA

    @Germy Shoemangler: Hmm. From your link:

    Kenneth Cornell told WESH 2’s Gail Paschall-Brown that he called 911 after the alleged shooter approached him and said, “I shot George Zimmerman.” Cornell said the alleged shooter then got on the phone with dispatch and explained what happened.

    Again, I say: hmm.

  30. 30.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    @Roger Moore:

    Assuming you accept threatening to kill people as polite behavior.

    That’s just exercising your 2nd Amendment rights, of course it’s polite behavior unless you’re some damn commie.

  31. 31.

    Tree With Water

    @Germy Shoemangler: It wouldn’t surprise me if the person Zimmy thought he recognized looked like Trayvon Martin. It wouldn’t surprise me if he see’s Martin’s face each and every time he falls asleep..

  32. 32.

    Laertes

    Seems to me that anyone dealing with George Zimmerman can reasonably be in fear for his life. Under Florida law, it’s hard to imagine circumstances under which shooting at Zimmerman would not be justified.

  36. 36.

    Roger Moore

    @Karen in GA:

    I’ll bet the only thing keeping him from sleeping like a baby is anxiety over how people constantly victimize him.

    I suspect that he is also constantly angry and afraid of every little thing. That’s a big reason for people to want to be armed all the time and to overreact to everything.

  37. 37.

    Johnny B

    If the other driver thought Zimmerman looked like an “illegal alien,” does that make the shooting okay. It’s so hard to keep up with these rationalizations.

  39. 39.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @Ben Cisco:

    Shootings are so pervasive now, people EXPECT it.

    National Institute of Justice:

    Homicides committed with firearms peaked in 1993 at 17,075, after which the figure steadily fell, reaching a low of 10,117 in 1999. Gun-related homicides increased slightly after that, to a high of 11,547 in 2006, before falling again to 10,869 in 2008.[4]

    ….

    Nonfatal firearm-related crime has fallen significantly in recent years, from almost 1.3 million incidents in 1994 to a low of 331,618 incidents in 2008. Since then it has risen; in 2011 there were 414,562 incidents.[6]

    The data is at best mixed. Not that you would hear that from the NRA. According to them, the world is more dangerous than ever.

  40. 40.

    Patricia Kayden

    @Tree With Water: It would surprise me since Zimmerman said that it was God’s will that he shot Trayvon. He has no guilt about what he did and would probably do it again.

  41. 41.

    Laertes

    @Johnny B:

    If the other driver thought Zimmerman looked like an “illegal alien,” does that make the shooting okay.

    Early indications are that the shooter and Zimmerman are known to one another and have some kind of running dispute. So a claim that the shooting was justified because he thought he was attempting to murder an undocumented immigrant fails before we even reach the question of whether it’s okay to murder undocumented immigrants.

  42. 42.

    Amir Khalid

    Off-topic, while we’re all on tenterhooks waiting for an update on George: I’m kind of bummed that James May hasn’t added a new video to his YouTube channel, “JM’s unemployment tube”, in over three weeks. Not since his two-parter on making pasta carbonara. I like his approach to measuring out quantities: a knob of butter should be the size of a generous piece of cheese, and vice versa.

  43. 43.

    scav

    Does Zimm just forego the speed-dial and keep his lawyer physically with him 24-7?

  45. 45.

    trollhattan

    “Zimmerman’s lawyer” sounds like the closest thing to lifetime jerb security imaginable.

  47. 47.

    Botsplainer

    At this point, is it fair to assume that the demise of George Zimmerman is a wagerable event at one of those Brit “bet on anything” sites? If it is, I’d like to take 2017 as the year he ceases breathing operations.

  49. 49.

    Tone in DC

    It’s hard for me to joke about Zimmerman these days.

    So many people (many of them good) who were walking around earlier this year or last year are not walking around anymore.

    And this waste of space gets into disputes with people, and receives money for his “art”. And is still walking around.

    Even lifers in maximum security prison have been known to rehabilitate themselves. There is little if any hope for this poor excuse for a human.

  51. 51.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @Laertes:

    So a claim that the shooting was justified because he thought he was attempting to murder an undocumented immigrant fails

    Assumes facts not in evidence. I’ve never seen an official long form birth certificate. Have you?

  52. 52.

    scav

    @Mike J: Apparently if they’re approximately the same size, we can even add spaghetti — they’ve got the knob-shaped side of the description down pat, although I’m unwilling to guess as to which is more cheesy and which is more oleaginous.

  54. 54.

    Archon

    It still galls me that people (even people I know) gave the benefit of the doubt to Zimmerman, a violent sociopath with a criminal history over an unarmed teenage boy.

  55. 55.

    Arclite

    @Duke of Clay:

    I just don’t understand why these things keep happening to this poor innocent man.

    Apparently the shooter is claiming that Zimm pointed a gun at him?

  56. 56.

    CONGRATULATIONS!

    I’ll say it: too bad the shooter missed. Better luck next time.

    He’ll get his, sooner or later.

  57. 57.

    Mnemosyne (iPhone)

    I guess I left Florida just in time — I got back late Saturday night/early Sunday morning. Brother situation is still very much in flux, but it looks like my mom is going to be able to go home for a bit at the end of this week.

  58. 58.

    CONGRATULATIONS!

    Best set of comments:
    “Show me again how many times 18 goes into 45.”
    “Almost once.”

    @Arclite: OK, that’s pretty epic and now everyone in the office is staring at me because I was laughing so hard.

  59. 59.

    CONGRATULATIONS!

    Shit, he drives a Ridgeline? That’s not even a real truck. What kind of fake American are we dealing with here? He ain’t even rollin’ coal!

  61. 61.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    I am in the hospital. I was taken by Ambulance to the ER on Friday morning with a BP of 238/123. They got me stabilized and got the BP down on Friday but by Saturday it was right back up again. They again got it down to 127/87 on Saturday but come Sunday it was back up to 203. I went back to the ER and they admitted me. Needless to say it was pretty scary for a while there. They have now got the correct combination of meds so that it is now a little below normal which they tell me is due to my low blood sodium. They have now got me on meds for that and I should be discharged tomorrow morning. And yes, before anyone yells at me I AM going to start taking better care of myself and stop taking care of everyone else (my DH and my Boss) AT THE EXPENSE OF MYSELF! (I am not going to stop taking care of them of course but like I said not at my expense)

  62. 62.

    Haydnseek

    @Mike J: Great idea! Clarkson can comment on the performance characteristics of the truck as he bleeds out…….

  65. 65.

    catclub

    (Okay, I made up the last part of that sentence.)

    I knew that because the word ‘cooperating’ was in it.

  66. 66.

    Helen

    He may know who did it and is cooperating with the cops to work through the very long list of people who would like to shoot him in the face.

    Is it bad that I Laughed Out Loud at that?

    No. No it is not.

  68. 68.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    @Tree With Water: Except I suspect Frank and Jesse James paid legal bills more reliably than Zimmerman. Count me in for August 2016 as the expiration date.

    @Arclite: Of course he did. That’s always what Zimmerman does when he’s terrified. Or annoyed, which seem to be his only two states.

    I agree it’s hard to even joke about him. So many good folks are not with us, yet he wastes oxygen.

  69. 69.

    Poopyman

    @Litlebritdifrnt: Holy shit! And freaking out only makes it worse. It takes a bit of tweaking before the right med amounts are discovered, but it sounds like you’ve got that handled. Now it’s your job to start unloading responsibilities – mostly the ones you assumed without anyone asking you to. (Not that I have ANY EXPERIENCE in these matters.)

    Follow doctor’s orders and get better soon!

  70. 70.

    skjellyfetti

    FloridaMan somethingsomethingsomething…

    You know your life has taken a very different tack when you’re described, in the lede, as “the former neighborhood watch volunteer”.

  74. 74.

    JPL

    The person who fired the bullet has called 911 on Zimmerman several times. It does sound like it would be stand your ground.

  76. 76.

    Germy Shoemangler

    @Mnemosyne (iPhone):
    Also, too, I will be the first to nag you that you need to find a new job so you can get away from your asshole boss

    Elon Musk’s email to an employee who missed work event to witness birth of own child:
    “That is no excuse. I am extremely disappointed. You need to figure out where your priorities are. We’re changing the world and changing history, and you either commit or you don’t.”

  78. 78.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    @Litlebritdifrnt: Do feel better soon. I suspect that taking better care of yourself as opposed to others could be quite helpful in that regard.

  80. 80.

    Mnemosyne (iPhone)

    @Germy Shoemangler:

    There was an infamous quote (possibly apocryphal) from Jeffrey Katzenberg when someone wanted to take a Saturday off from Disney when Katzenberg was running animation: “If you don’t come in on Saturday, don’t even bother coming in on Sunday.”

  88. 88.

    Mnemosyne (iPhone)

    @Germy Shoemangler:

    It would be funny as hell if Apperson successfully claimed immunity under Stand Your Ground, but I think you have to actually kill the other person for it to apply (which is how that woman in Florida got 20 years for shooting into the ceiling instead of plugging her ex).

  89. 89.

    scav

    @skjellyfetti: It’s probably also not a good sign when the mere mention of your name in an new article is immediately followed with all your past brushes with the law like the possible side effects in a drug commercial.

  90. 90.

    Chris

    FYWP, apparently…

    Is it bad that my only reaction was “too bad they missed?”

    Justice was not done for Trayyvon. His killer’s not only been walking around free but has been bragging about his accomplishments, living off of them, and continuing to pick fights ever since, showing not the slightest hint of remorse and every sign of having been emboldened and thinking he’s untouchable. Given the complete failure of the justice system in this case, I couldn’t care less if he gets capped. Let Bob Ewell fall on his fucking knife so we can put this charade behind us already.

  91. 91.

    Ben Cisco

    OT, (kinda but not really since we’re talking asshole here)…

    The Saudi Foreign Minister had every right to punch Wolf Blitzer IN THE FACE just now. Got stuck working on a machine in the lunchroom w/CNN blaring directly overhead. Asshole just couldn’t get the Foreign Minister to say, “yeah, we’re TOTALLY snubbing that n****r,” so he turns and asks, “Well, why did the king agree to come in the first place?”

    WHAT. AN. ASSHOLE.

  92. 92.

    D58826

    Just goes to show what happens when you let someone with a short fuse walk around with a gun. Looks like we may have found someone with a shortert fuse than Zimmy. It would be kind of funny of the shooter claims a stand your ground defense

  93. 93.

    CONGRATULATIONS!

    Zimmerman aside, road rage shootings are not OK. I had a friend of mine many years ago who was in the wrong part of town (Oakland), stopped at the wrong intersection next to the wrong car, and stared at the wrong guy for a little too long. He got half his jaw blown off for that. Never caught the shooter.

    This dipshit who put one through Zimmerman’s window has my sympathies and probably a good reason, but there’s no reason good enough for inflicting that kind of injury on another human being or putting the lives of everyone behind that fake truck at risk.

    AND THANK YOU JEEBUS BECAUSE MY STATE REALIZES THAT AND LEGISLATES ACCORDINGLY.

  94. 94.

    Betty Cracker

    @Litlebritdifrnt: Wow, how scary! Hope they figure it out and get you back on track soon! I know it can be difficult to find the right balance of BP meds; may take some patience, from what I hear. Best of luck!

  95. 95.

    Howard Beale IV

    BREAKING: NFL suspends Tom Brady for 4 games. Patriots loses draft picks over DeflateGate.

  96. 96.

    Howard Beale IV

    @Germy Shoemangler: This sort of story reminds me of the old saw of a a marred man watching his hated mother-in-law driving off the cliff to her death in his new Lexus. I find it somewhat hard to believe on one hand but credible on another. It’s the kind of thing that would want me to dig up whether the provocateur pulled the same stunt with his own wife.

  97. 97.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    Yikes, Litlebrit! That is scary. I’m sure others will say/have said that you truly do need to change the dynamic with that boss of yours. Hoping for soon and frequent updates from you on how you’re doing with the whole “take better care of Litlebrit” thing. Having had one or two similar scary trips to the ER in my time, I can tell you I’m thinking of you and rooting for you — as, I’m sure, are we all.

  99. 99.

    Fort Geek

    @Litlebritdifrnt: Holy crap. I’m not going to yell at you, just say I’m glad you’re okay.

    It’s almost 5 years to the day when I went to the ER with a pressure of 290/180. They couldn’t see how I was even standing up. Two months later, my still-uncontrolled BP caused an internal aortic dissection. Not fun. Very similar to what killed John Ritter.

    Still not yelling–just asking you to stay on it ;)

  100. 100.

    Tree With Water

    @Patricia Kayden: What he says is likely quite different from what he knows, much less what he dreams. But god alone knows what really makes the sick bastard tick.

  101. 101.

    AxelFoley

    @Ben Cisco:

    It may have gone down that way, but it doesn’t matter. Shootings are so pervasive now, people EXPECT it.

    Which was the NRA’s endgame.

    Sadly, Emissary, you’re correct.

  102. 102.

    Fred

    I don’t know why the police are even investigating this. Nobody died so? No harm no foul, right? Hey, it’s Florida, a free fire zone. If you live there you expect to get your windshield shot out from time to time. It’s adjusted for in the insurance rates.
    Now if some high school bimbo tries to get birth control, now that’s a crime.

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