I know that I haven’t been as active as I or some of the readership has wished in the last several months. I’ve been pretty active on Twitter, which seems to fit my flights of fancy better than long-form.
Well in the last couple of weeks, I’ve been so angry and sad that I’ve been basically dysfunctional. I’m going to the Behavioral Health clinic at work after I post this. I don’t know what’s going to happen after that.
Baud
Best of luck to you, guy.
JPL
Sooner, Hugs!
Betty Cracker
I’m sorry you’re going through such a tough time, but I’m glad you have the strength and courage to get the help you need. Be well.
Cckids
Sorry to hear this, but glad you are getting help. Wishing you peaceful times
Manyakitty
Peace and love and come back soon.
Kay (not the front-pager)
Take care of yourself. Depression is a scourge. I’m glad you have somewhere to go.
Iowa Old Lady
Sorry to hear that, Sooner. Good for you for taking action.
debbie
I hope you can find peace.
aimai
Take care, Sooner dear. You are greatly loved and very much respected by so many people–here and IRL. I’ve been following your career since dKos days, long ago. And I so much admire you. You are so central to the lives of so many people. I know you are doing the right thing for yourself, and for them, right now. I trust and believe that you will come out of this dark tunnel and into the light. Be very, very, very, certain of that.
Aleta
Take care, take it easy where you can. I admire your ability to act. The heart is a muscle; it can relax and it can get stronger.
MomSense
I’m rooting for you, Sooner.
La Caterina (Mrs. Johannes)
So glad you’re getting some help today. When I’m in a similar state it always gets better when I talk to someone else about it. Miss your posts.
PurpleGirl
I’m sorry to hear of your problem but glad that you realize you need help and are seeking it out. As to what happens next, they will probably advise taking a drug and seeing a counselor or maybe joining a group for therapy.
Wishing you a productive meeting and a fast(er) recovery.
Eric S.
Luck. Get well.
donnah
Do what it takes to be well. People you’ve never laid eyes on are hoping you get what you need. Good luck!
geg6
Peace, Sooner. Glad you’re getting the help you need.
Cermet
So sorry! Best of luck! Be well and that is a very good idea to address such issues!
rikyrah
You take care and get help. Being healthy emotionally and physically is most important of all.
sparrow
Sooner — best of luck getting well. And bravo for seeking help so quickly. Everything I have read says it’s easier to kick if you start early.
Since this is a thread on depression, and a lot of you wise folks have dealt with that (I have only book-knowledge), I do want to take the opportunity to ask for some advice.
My SO, whom I live with, is, I think mildly depressed. It is something of a chicken-and-egg problem, because he doesn’t like much the city we moved to, but moving back is not an option, and sometimes his dislike of the city seems more like the result of depression than cause of it. He’s been chronically stressed with getting tenure, but now has it, and doesn’t seem to know how to move out of crisis work-a-holic mode. But the most pressing problem, to me, is that he doesn’t want to admit he is depressed. He talks about life being pointless and hopeless, is tired all the time, gets angry easily, and hardly ever laughs or jokes. He’s extremely critical which I have had to learn to not take personally. I find him sitting with a morose/blank look on his face pretty regularly. It’s not good. But if I try to talk about talking to someone or at least reading a book on it, he gets very upset with the idea that he is depressed and denies it vehemently (then goes on to blame every single thing in his life for being wrong instead… sometimes this comes out almost bizzaro-comic, like when he says it’s the fault of the ugly building down the road from us…)
Right now I am trying to just lighten everything around him — taking care of the housework by myself, not loading him with any bad news or political rants, keeping things light, and trying to get him out of the house. But I know it’s not something *I* can fix, and I just keep bumping into this wall of “I’m not depressed”… how do you make a person see that there is a problem? And it’s not their fault but something that they need to tackle?
Abo gato
We’ll keep you in our thoughts. Get better.
Ash Can
Hats off to you for taking the bull by the horns and getting the treatment you need. Here’s wishing you smooth travels on the road to recovery. You’re a popular guy in these parts, and we’ll all be looking forward to your return.
Debbie(aussie)
I am sorry that life is getting you down and glad that you are reaching out for help. I too, have been struggling with keeping it together. Am seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist, (thank goodness for our universal healthcare system). There is light at the end of the tunnel. I wish you all the best for your recovery. And please know that complete strangers on the other side of the planet care about you. {{hugs}}
currants
@aimai: Yes, what aimai said, better than I could have.
Smedley Darlington Prunebanks (formerly Mumphrey, et al.)
I hope they find out what’s wrong and get working on getting you better quickly. I’ve had depression for a long time. It can be hard, but with the right kind of medicine, it isn’t too bad.
OzarkHillbilly
I have been there. Struggled with anger issues all my life. The counseling, it helps, but it’s hard. Good luck.
Keith G
There have been many times when I hoped to see what your opinion was on a particular news item of the day. I am very glad you are seeking out a path which will help you heal. I am rooting for you.
MazeDancer
Sending much light.
Cliches are cliches because they are so often true. Recognizing the validity of the ole “darkest hour is right before dawn” has gotten me through the grimmest of times. And I just hold on to the possibility that the intolerable plummet may actually be a sign new is going to happen. Old ways crumble, hurt is everywhere. But somehow the falling apart does allow an opening. And the next steps of learning freedom shine through.
Hoping this is an opening time for you. And that good help, like all the good, strong, caring feelings for you here at BJ, abounds.
Cervantes
Long-form, Tweets, or nothing visible, going to get the help you need is what’s crucial. Good luck and good health to you. Let us know when you can how things are going.
Ajabu
I’m pulling for you also.
I know you’ll get through this and it’s really a good idea to seek outside professional help rather than the old macho “I can deal with it”.
Best to you.
Ben Cisco (onboard the Defiant)
You are among friends here, brother. I wish you a good path back to a good place.
SiubhanDuinne
I wish you well, Soonergrunt. All, and only, the very best to you.
Ohio Mom
@sparrow: The answer to your question is Nobel-prize territory, I think. Getting people with brain issues to admit it stymies everyone.
The only thing I can think of is getting your partner to go to a primary care physician to address…maybe his presenting complaint could be fatigue? Would he admit to being tired all the time? And then hope that in this age of HIPPA, where it is very difficult to talk to anyone else’s doctors, the doctor does run with it without any input from you (not that I haven’t tried getting a word in before with some of my partner’s docs).
And good luck to you Sooner. Lots of good treatments and lots of reasons for hope are waiting for you.
Gene108
@sparrow:
Are there other people in your SO’s life he might listen to? Friends or relatives?
There’s enough stigma around mental illness people do not want to admit it. I was one of them, until I hit rock bottom and even then I thought I was minimally screwed up, until I got into treatment and realized I was got really messed up.
How open is he to medical treatment in general? I know people, intelligent and educated people, who have an aversion of going to the doctor, even if it is pretty clear they are not getting better on their own.
Is the resistance to getting psychiatric care specific to only mental health issues or does cover additional forms of medical care?
Also, as a general point many men – and it is usually men – have trouble dealing with the fact they are not young and invincible anymore, as they go through their 30’s and into their 40’s. It takes a certain admission of your own mortality to admit you may need a blood pressure prescription or statin or you need to cut out ‘x, y or z’ from you diet to avoid type II diabetes.
We tend to live everyday unconsciously blocking put all the things that can harm us, such as traffic accidents or falling down a flight of stairs, that to consciously embrace something about yourself that can bring you harm, like health problems, takes bit of will power and effort.
Also, I have gathered from you posts that you are in your early 30’s, so I assume the SO is in the same age range.
Has he ever had a routine physical with a GP? A GP can sometimes spot tell-tale signs of mental illness. I have a friend, whose GP correctly disagnosed her illnesses as being linked to mental health issues.
I know I rambled, but maybe going to a good GP may be a starting point?
ThresherK
Take care of yourself first. The weird stuff in the world will not run out in your absence.
Birthmarker
Good luck, Sooner.
Svensker
All best to you, Sooner. The fact that you are asking for help is great. Blessings to you.
@sparrow:
Can you talk to a therapist or doctor yourself, to see if they have any advice? Or is there a family/friends of folks with mental illness group in your area that you could go to? If he won’t get help, YOU need help in coping.
Gene108
Good luck Sooner. One thing I picked up from treatment is you do not get better alone. I hope you realize you are not alone and have a lot of people here pulling for you.
Also, you said you lost a lot of weight recently. That is a huge accomplishment. I have been trying to lose weight for the last ten years and have gotten no where near the results you have had.
I think you have what it takes to get better.
Good luck.
Lolis
I have been depressed lately. I started a new medication and I don’t know if that is the cause or just the series of shitty things that have been happening in my life this month. I’m to the point where I am going to seek help too.
schrodinger's cat
{{{{Sooner}}}} take care of you and comeback soon!
Cervantes
@sparrow:
Others have already commented usefully. I have no special advice to offer but I do want to say that I think you’re a good egg and I hope things get better soon for both of you.
ColleenMary
@sparrow: Book rec for you, sparrow: I Don’t Want To Talk About It: The Secret Legacy of Male Depression, by Terrence Real. My SO went through something a lot like yours several years back, and someone recommended Real’s book to me. Very helpful in terms of figuring out what’s going on and what kinds of responses on your part might be useful (also very clear warnings that it’s entirely possible that nothing you do will be useful, and that’s not on you at all). All the best to you.
AndoChronic
Wish you well and good health.
Thank you for all that you’ve done so far, same goes for the rest of you out there.
You and the rest of BJ have kept me more sane than I should’ve been over the past several years but I’m sure it’s been at a huge expense to you front pagers especially.
Live to fight again tomorrow!
terraformer
Recognizing the issue and then seeking help are massive hurdles that you are bounding. Most folks don’t get that far. Best wishes to you!
When you’re ready, get on back here and help keep me sane with your great posts. I’m not a twitter person so I dig the long-form (if that’s what this is).
Violet
Soonergrunt, wishing you all the best. Glad you are taking care of yourself. r
MomSense
@sparrow:
I’m really sorry that you are going through this. Unfortunately I think it is practically impossible to get someone else to recognize they have a problem. I do know that living with a person who has depression is difficult. So my advice may sound strange but I highly recommend that you seek counseling to help you cope and that you try to resist coming home and telling your SO about your sessions. Focus on your wellness and enjoyment of life while being compassionate to your SO’s suffering. Sending you my sympathy and support.
nancydarling
Sooner, There is a lot of research on genetic reasons some don’t respond to drugs treating chronic depression.
http://www.newsworks.org/index.php/local/healthscience-feature/47411-genetic-test-helps-explain-why-anti-depressants-work-only-for-some
A family member has chronic, intermittent depression and has done a lot of web surfing on this issue. I’m not sure how good the linked article is but it is a start if you haven’t looked at this approach.
I wish there was some way you could correspond with this family member.
Bless you and good luck. There is an answer for you. Stay pro-active in your treatment and stay strong.
Karen in GA
Sorry to hear you’re not well, but glad to hear that you’ve recognized it and you’re taking steps to get what you need. Sending good thoughts and positive energy.
Tinare
Sending good thoughts your way. Best to you!
JCT
Peace be with you, Sooner – sending strong thoughts your way. You’ll get through this, you’re taking the important first step.
Lee
You’re not a teen girl but my daughter got the tools (& meds) needed to help her through some really tough times at a behavioral hospital. Hopefully you will get the same thing.
Amir Khalid
Joining in the chorus of good wishes and support. You’ll always have friends here. (((hugs)))
ruemara
Get help and get well, Sooner.
Sparrow, depression in men can be quite pernicious. I was in your situation a few years back, but with someone who wasn’t working. Now slowly trying to rebuild my life after losing the house and I’m quite single at my advanced age. He is living off his old parents and now entering his 9th year of unemployment. He’s also certain he is not and never has been depressed. Hang in there but, speaking from experience, don’t forget to take care of yourself. It is really important not to sacrifice yourself.
hedgehog the occasional commentator
Hugs, Sooner. Thinking of you.
WaterGirl
@sparrow: Have you seen the Allie Brosh pieces at Hyperbole and a Half? I have heard that reading the comments is really helpful, too.
Adventures in Depression: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html
Depression Part 2: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html
WaterGirl
@sparrow: My reply seems to have been eaten. I will hope it’s in moderation somewhere.
WaterGirl
Is there a front-pager who might be able to check to see if my comment is in limbo? I included links to Allie Bosh’s pieces on depression at Hyperbole and a Half, and I think I might have included too many links. thanks
CONGRATULATIONS!
@sparrow: Here’s the answer and you’re not going to like it: you can’t.
Until they figure it out themselves it’s just not going to be much fun. And some people never figure it out at all; I’ve got two family members that are suffering from active, clinical depression right now and have for most of their lives. One is in their fifties and one in their seventies. They are no fucking fun to be around, the older one has gotten to that “mean as hell” point, and they have no idea that there is anything even abnormal about how they act or view the world.
I am sorry. Depression takes a huge toll on relationships.
polyorchnid octopunch
You too, eh? It was a hell of a winter. A hell of a winter.
chopper
it’s good you’re going to get help. depending, you may end up with some form or another of behavioural therapy which is really good stuff. DBT is particularly good for those with some form or another of PTSD and dealing with the emotional fragility that often follows.
Linda Featheringill
<hugs>
Admitting you have a problem takes courage.
You got guts, kid.
Shrillhouse
Everyone here is pulling for you, SG. Good luck and be well.
JaneE
Best of luck. Take care of yourself first.
Elizabelle
Sooner: hugs. And be sure to indulge in Soonerdog therapy. The NYTimes tells us they have this magic, healing gaze. I think they do. It can’t hurt.
Take some good walks, with pup or family member. Be kind to yourself. We’ll be here when you get back.
SFAW
Everyone here has already expressed, far better, my best wishes for you. I hope to see you back here, “all better now!” – and soon.
Fair Economist
Get better and hope you’re back soon!
CONGRATULATIONS!
1. I hope you get what you need, Sooner. “The sooner the better”.
2. I am prone to bouts of fairly serious depression, and here’s the odd thing – this has been personally one of the worst years I’ve had in a LONG time. Literally from the first day of 2015 when I woke up with the flu, to the premature death of our newly adopted puppy, to my wife’s illness – shit, I’m only scratching the surface. This year has been fucking horrible. Every week something awful and shitty and demoralizing has happened. Including this week.
And yet, no depression. I don’t know why not.
I did mention “bouts” and someone will, no doubt, want to know how I got better. The answer is “I don’t know”. Tried the drugs, they just made me fat and dizzy. Tried talk therapy, but I already knew what the problems and issues were. Tried exercise. I hate exercise now, because the depression medication seems to have made me permanently fat. Stable and not grossly fat, but fat enough to not like getting on a bike anymore. So I don’t know what helped, save for time.
Seanly
Sooner, I’m sorry that you’re going through some stuff. It’s good that you’re seeking professional help for it.
lurker dean
best wishes, sooner, do what you need to do to get better, don’t worry about us clowns here at the circus.
J R in WV
Soonergrunt,
Thanks for posting!
For those of us (all of us?) with our own issues or family members in the household with issues, it is valuable to see others we know and respect facing their issue and discussing it. So thanks for that!
Wishing you the best of luck going forward, like the rest of the balloony juicers.
sparrow
@Ohio Mom: That’s not a bad idea, though for him probably won’t work. He has to see doctors regularly for other reasons and they don’t seem to give him any time.
@Gene108: All good thoughts. You got my age pegged (31), but my SO is actually 50. He also recently got diagnosed with a not-life-threatening but kinda-serious chronic complaint. He’s also European and doesn’t trust western medicine much. :( Not like anti-vaxxer type but “all they do is give you drugs, screw doctors” type. And to some extent he has a point about modern psychiatric care, which does seem very drug-centered, while talk therapy is much harder to find. But I’ve been pushing for *just talking* to someone and not really getting anywhere.
sparrow
@ColleenMary: Thank you! I will check that out.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
I’m wishing you the best Soonergrunt. Know that you have affection and respect from this group. PTSD is a tough one, but there are some promising new treatments using both meds and cognitive behavioral therapy. And at least here, the VA has some top notch behavioral health docs. I’ll get to hear a couple tomorrow at the Mood Disorders Symposium. Among the presentations is The Intersection Between PTSD and Mood Disorders. If there is an electronic summary, I’m happy to send it to your BJ email.
Be well, Sooner. I’m sending all the light and positive energy I can your way.
Jane2
All the best to you, Sooner.
Riley's Enabler
Sending white light and good thoughts northward to you, Sooner.
SuperHrefna
Hugs, Soonergrunt! Realizing you have a problem and seeking help for it is the first and hardest step, good on you for making it. Sending you light for your path through the darkness.
Insomniac
Peace to you and be well, Sooner.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@sparrow: You might want to consider attending a NAMI Family Support Group in your area. Most locations have at least one a month, and some have more. In addition, HIPAA only prevents your SO’s doc from talking to you without consent of the SO. Nothing in HIPAA prevents a doc from listening to you, though some physicians are leery even of that, so it might not work in your case. Good luck, and be sure to take care of you.
cosima
Sending positive thoughts & wishes for better days soon.
One thing that I have noticed as my husband and I both speed toward 50 — sleep is necessary, and the effects of its lack are huge, and can include symptoms that mirror depression.
Exhibit A: I got completely fed up with my husband’s surliness & lack on engagement a short time ago. He’s a nice fella — most would say really nice — but his patience at home was zero, and he was just checked-out from the moment he got home from work. Not nice to be around. We talked (after I got a bit shouty, which is an extremely rare occurrence), and decided that addressing it would begin with him getting more sleep. He went on a new (and fairly strict with my prompting) sleep schedule, and the difference was night and day. We had friends over and were discussing apnea, sleep deprivation, etc., and hubby’s co-worker said “I can tell when he hasn’t got enough sleep…” My husband was shocked. He just wasn’t aware of how dramatically it changes (changed) his personality when he’s not getting enough sleep.
Exhibit B: One of the friends mentioned in exhibit A was the source of the apnea discussion, as she had recently been given the sleep apnea device by her doc. I saw her recently after she’d had her first check-up following the start of using it, and she said that the nurse who checked her said she’d never seen such a dramatic change in someone’s results. My friend said that the nurse also told her that there were countless patients — my friend being one of them — who had wrongly been diagnosed with depression, including being prescribed medication, when the problem was largely (if not entirely) a function of sleep deprivation. My friend said that she’d had no idea (she’s in her early 50s) she’d been having problems with apnea, feels 100% better now, no depression meds, and like she’s been given a new lease on life.
Exhibit C (promise it’s the last one): My oldest daughter has long been diagnosed with depression & anxiety, and took meds for it for a few years. She now lives in very rural VT, and has restricted data usage for her internet — magically she is getting more sleep (no phone text messages continuously throughout the night interrupting her sleep pattern, no up-all-night skyping/texting/facebooking), and she feels better than she’s felt for about 15 years.
Because of my daughter’s issues — she has a very severe OCD — I recognize that depression and anxiety are very real issues that some people face & fight on a daily basis. For others it’s about the peaks & valleys. Whichever camp one falls into getting enough sleep is key. Even without anxiety & depression, science says get lots of sleep! I am a firm believer in it being the first lifestyle change to adopt, then hopefully the rest — energy levels, moods, etc. — will follow naturally, or at least without feeling as though they’re an enormous battle.
Talking about it is the first step. I hope that in taking that step you find your way to the sun.
CONGRATULATIONS!
@cosima: Interesting and for me not at all surprising. I work in IT, so for the moment getting clear of 24/7 connectivity is not an option. But retirement is coming, and the only thing I want out of it is to never have a cell phone again, and a very limited amount of internet access. I actually turn our home internet access off for most of the weekend, every weekend, which makes both the wife and I do other things, like read, or go on walks, or something…anything else.
I’ve said this a lot in recent years – the worst thing you can have for your mental health is cable TV. The second worst is a good internet connection.
Bostondreams
I hope that you get the help and peace you desire. Good luck to you and yours.
Howlin Wolfe
Best of luck, SG!
cosima
@ Congratulations —
For the young ones (our oldest, mid-20s), good internet connection = cable TV. She was up all night watching everything under the sun on Netflix streaming. I’d say that for that lot the worst thing is the good internet connection. She & her boyfriend of five years have suddenly discovered eating together at the table, taking long walks in the beautiful VT outdoors, x-c skiing for the first time ever this winter, and really talking to each other. The lack of on-demand/instant/unlimited internet has done her so much good in so many ways. I talked about that until I was blue in the face while she was here visiting us over xmas, to no avail. She would come down in the morning (late, of course) with her phone in hand. We are in the UK, so there was very little chance that any of her friends were actually up & texting her at 4 a.m. their time, but she couldn’t take the chance of missing something!
The knock-on effects are pretty numerous & alarming.
WaterGirl
@cosima:
Hmm. Christmas is at the end of December. It’s now April and she has made a huge change in her life, coincidentally in the exact direction you were urging at Christmas. I wouldn’t be too sure that your conversations had no impact.
canuckistani
Take care of yourself. We’ll be waiting here when you’re ready.
Mnemosyne (tablet)
Good luck, SG. If you can find the right combination of therapist and medication, you will be astounded at how much better you can feel. Since you’ve said that you’re currently overweight, it’s probably also worth looking into the sleep apnea side of things as mentioned above by cosima.
Mnemosyne (tablet)
@CONGRATULATIONS!:
If you really want to get back on a bike and have a couple thousand dollars burning a hole in your pocket, apparently Rivendell Bicycle Works has some models specifically made for larger people:
http://www.rivbike.com
Jean King
Mostly I just lurk here, but I will come out of the shadows to wish you the very best. I’ve really enjoyed and gotten an awful lot from your writings. I hope things come into balance for you very soon, and I congratulate you on aggressively pursuing assistance. I’ve been there and I know how overwhelming life can feel and be.
Keeping you in my thoughts, and hoping you are able to come back soon recharged and feeling fully on kilter.
SRW1
Hopefully, going to the clinic will work out for you, Soonergrunt.
Mnemosyne (tablet)
@cosima:
Just out of sheer nosiness, do you know if you have ADHD on either side of your family? I ask because the difficulty in disconnecting from stimulus (like TV and Internet) is a known problem for people with ADHD, but what’s really interesting to me is that outdoor exercise is getting a lot of attention as a promising treatment. So it’s interesting to me that your daughter was showing a common symptom of ADHD, but she also may be responding well to a popular non-drug way of treating it.
celticdragonchick
Best wishes. I have been there, and I know it can feel really lonely and dark at times.
Emaill me if you like…one soldier to another.
[email protected]
BruceFromOhio
Blessings and light, SG, blessings and light. Cole said it up top, you got friends, and that’s no bs.
To the rest, wow, the caring, smarts, and willingness to share and support is impressive. What a splendid group of people.
WereBear
Hey, man, you do what you need to do so you can take care of yourself. I believe you have a wife and kids and a cute little dog who are all counting on you.
We are too.
Beldar
Take care of yourself Soonergrunt and come back to us when you’re able. Take all the time you need.
We’ll still be here; all the constant commenters as well as lurkers such as myself…
cosima
@WaterGirl — Guess that I hadn’t really thought of that take on it… And a 4-month turnaround time for listening to advice beats the hell out of the 4-year, 10-year, or never-year turnaround that is often the case. I will consider my ranting a success, then!
@Mnemosyne — Yes. Her father (he is now 51) was given shots for hyperactivity when he was quite small. I’m guessing that would have been a pretty radical treatment back then. Or maybe not? He used to tell me stories about running away from home for the day when he knew the doc was coming to give him the shot. I have no idea what those shots would have been — never asked my (now former) mother-in-law, but I do wonder about the long-term effects of whatever it was, i.e. could not have been heavily researched at that point. However, last I heard from my daughter, he was taking ritalin for his ADHD. In his late 40s then (haven’t asked her about it since she told me that). I know for certain that whatever the case when he was young, he was basically out of control as a teenager & in his early 20s. Hell on wheels. I’ve known him since I was in junior high.
Our daughter is still struggling mightily with her OCD. Interestingly enough, as a substitute teacher she’s run into a student with FAS and the same OCD, and has actually been doing a lot of profound, non-denial, thinking about the issue. She phoned me the first day of teaching this girl’s class and told me that after she left the school for the day she cried for an hour. It’s been a really enlightening time for her lately.
On the issue of sleep apnea — my friend is slightly overweight, not too bad, but she is an amazon, probably close to 6 feet tall. I know that there are a lot of sleep apnea issues associated with being overweight, as SG has mentioned he is struggling with that issue as well. It’s well worth ruling out for anyone who is really fatigued and feeling depressed.
WaterGirl
@cosima: Success! How great that your daughter was able to see herself in that student. A picture is worth a thousand words.
I’m not sure if you know this, but if you go to the bottom right hand corner of a person’s comment, you will see the word “Reply” with an arrow. If you click on that, it will automatically insert the “@watergirl” in your reply.
Mnemosyne (tablet)
@cosima:
I can’t find the article online, but a recent issue of ADDitude magazine had an article about comorbid ADHD and OCD. I think it was in the most recent issue, so that may be why it’s not online yet (the website is http://www.additudemag.com). Other than exercise, the other big recommendations right now are omega-3 supplements and protein (or, I guess, eating lots of salmon, which provides both).
SWMBO
Best wishes for a speedy renewal.
My brother had PTSD (his son called it post dramatic stress disorder) that was crippling. He would come to my mom’s workplace and sit under her desk and cry. Lots of stuff like that. She didn’t want to have him committed but her work wasn’t going to allow this forever. We finally talked him into going to the VA and talking to someone about it. He was committed for a little over a month while they titrated his meds. When he came out, he started working part time, then full time. (This was almost 20 years ago). Now he’s off his meds and coping fairly well. He also knows if one of the rest of us call him on his behavior, he can cope without meds but knows he can get them if he needs them.
It may take a while but there is a way through this to a better way. Hug everyone you can and talk to the dog. They aren’t judgey. We’ll be here when you get back.
cosima
@WaterGirl: I did not know that! Thanks for the tip. She did feel that seeing that girl’s daily school experience was deja vu, not in a good way, it was quite emotional. However, she was able to effect some positive change for the girl on the playground and in the classroom in ways that she wished she’d been supported whilst at school herself, so it was a really meaningful experience. It’s really something to be able to do that for someone — rare & a really valuable life experience.
@Mnemosyne (tablet): That’s an interesting site. I’ll forward it to my daughter for her to check out. She’s certainly getting a lot of exercise these days. Not so sure about the salmon — her boyfriend is in law school on a scholarship, and she’s substitute teaching, so money is tight for them. They do love fish, though, so maybe will work it into the menu when they can.
grumpy realist
@sparrow: can you get him to start exercising? Or you start exercising and getting him to come along? Even a thirty minute walk around the neighborhood or the two of you schlepping groceries home from the local farmer’s market would probably help.
sharl
Best to you, Sooner.
Please come back whenever you’re ready; we’ll be here.
Kathleen
Sooner, thanks for your courage. You are creating a space for other people to also get in touch with where they are and take steps to love themselves.
Light and good thoughts your way. You are not alone. Best to you and your family.
ThalarctosMaritimus
@Lolis: We’re pulling for you, too, Lolis.
Here’s wishing you a good path to a good place, as well.
Tree With Water
Sooner: That’s a smart move, and the fact you’ve it made bodes well.
Think in terms of our mutual ancestor, the primordial ooze. Then consider the centuries your particular branch of the ooze have roamed the earth on two legs. Above all, take heart. Consider Churchill’s words to the Canadian Parliament just weeks after Pearl Harbor, and apply it to yourself and the journey you’ve begun:
“We have not journeyed across the centuries, across the oceans, across the mountains, across the prairies, because we are made of sugar candy.”
skyweaver
Best of luck to you. Everything I want to say involves things that sound so trite, but are indeed true. But I’ll leave it at seeking help is good. Good luck, Soonergrunt!
WaterGirl
Sooner, I am remembering how I held my breath during those weeks once we learned about your upcoming surgery a few years ago, and I know I wasn’t the only one. Sending love and good thoughts your way.
Ann Marie
I’m sorry you are having problems, but you are doing the right thing. I’ve been there. Sometimes you just can’t handle everything yourself. Good luck!
NotoriousJRT
I hope you are able to find what you need and it brings you peace and contentment. Best of luck and warm wishes to you.
Kristine
Take care of yourself, Sooner. Best wishes headed your way.
Doug Wieboldt
Best of luck to you. I’ve been there, and into counseling for other issues. It takes a lot of guts to make the decision, let alone publish it. We are here, and we are for you. Get well.
Greg
I’m a really nice gay guy who was consigned to the Hell that is Dallas for a couple of years, and reading your posts made me realize that there are actually decent people living in OK, TX, and parts unknown. Thank you for helping to preserve my sanity. Best of luck, dude.
Frivolous
Good luck, Soonergrunt. Hope you are better soon.
Katy
@sparrow: Lots of good advice above – 1. get enough sleep; 2. exercise – working muscles is good but just go outside and walk – fresh air, movement, new and different scenery – get out of that same-same rut; but also 3. DO something, anything, accomplish something tangible, doesn’t matter what – cook something, make something, fix something – something to point to and say you accomplished this today, and it’s good. Even really little things. At least, these are what worked for me – twelve years out from a catastrophic crash into depression – I’ll probably never get totally off Wellbutrin and I have to be a little careful, but I’m ok.
LT
Ah, best of everything and good thoughts to you, Soonergrunt. Lke John said, very big of you. Acts like that help other people.
Be well.
LT
@Greg: Greg, there are a realy lot of good people in Texas. If you’re still around there, or even if you’re not, the Kerrville Folk Festival is starting soon. 18 day long festival of **humans**. I cannot explain enough how good that festival is – and not just the music, which goes all night, around campfires, with lots of fun and silliness and whatnot.
http://www.kerrville-music.com