After taking several readings

Nothing I’ve read today about ol’ Aqua Budha’s candidacy can approach the inadvertent genius of this, so probably we should all give up:

This guy doesn’t even look like a Republican, with his jeans and cowboy boots, his tie-but-no-jacket look, his mop-in-need-of-cutting coiffure. Mitt Romney tried to rock those jeans, but no 20-something — no 30-something, actually — looked at his Brylcreemed hair and thought: I want to hang out with this guy.


With the laconic delivery and soft bluegrass accent that lent a certain stoner quality to his speech….

This did amuse me though.

82 replies
  1. 1
    El Caganer says:

    Rand Paul has roughly the same chance of getting elected President that I do. And I have no desire to ‘hang out’ with the young folk, be they ‘stoners’ or otherwise. If you compare actual qualifications (experience, skills, etc.) needed, he makes Dubyuh look like Thomas Jefferson.

  2. 2
    Ruviana says:

    The kidz are wearing Brylcreem? Is that a hipster thing along with the moustache wax? Who knew?

  3. 3
    sharl says:

    Ah, the market for Rearden Metal schemes is lookin’ good …real good.

  4. 4
    Paul in KY says:

    Everybody in that book wanted to know where John Galt had gone. Turned out he opened a high-end hotel in Louisville.

  5. 5
    Duke of Clay says:

    I had an appointment to see my lawyer today at one o’clock. He’s in the building next to the Galt House. I’m pleased to report that I got in and out without getting any libertarianism on me.

  6. 6
    Amir Khalid says:

    No, Ruth Marcus is saying Mitt wears Brylcreem, and that it’s the squarest thing ever.

    Heck, do they actually still make Brylcreem? I don’t think I’ve seen it on a supermarket shelf in decades.

  7. 7
    catclub says:

    I would bet that Cruz will end up with more votes than Paul.

  8. 8
    NonyNony says:

    @El Caganer:

    he makes Dubyuh look like Thomas Jefferson.

    Eh, let’s not get all “crazy” here. He might make Dubyah look like he rises to the level Millard Fillmore or Zachary Taylor, but he’s not going to bring him up to Thomas Jefferson.

    ETA: @catclub:

    I would bet that Cruz will end up with more votes than Paul.

    Votes, perhaps. But states with caucus systems are going to be overwhelmed by the Paul-bots descending upon the caucuses like locusts to support their favorite politician.

  9. 9

    I think the key thing to understand is that The Villagers are as shallow as a puddle. They actually do base their political decisions on things like who they’d want to have a beer with or who looks cool, and they’re shocked when other people don’t vote for the same reasons.

  10. 10
    Cacti says:

    The Pauls have always been popular with the bro-voters.

    Young women less so, with their far right views on abortion, contraception, and fair pay legislation.

  11. 11
    dmsilev says:

    I can’t wait for the debate between Rand Paul’s hair-thing and Donald Trump’s hair-thing.

  12. 12
    catclub says:

    @Ruviana: I remember Dapper Dan was the favorite from Brother Where Art Thou.
    I always forget the name of the competitor pomade.

  13. 13
    Cacti says:

    What I’m really hoping for is no clear cut winner of the GOP primaries and a brokered convention, full of crazy.

  14. 14
    Cacti says:


    I think the other brand was Fop.

  15. 15
    piratedan says:

    so, now we have all four pillars of the GOP represented….

    Ted Cruz – grifters/Joe McCarthy lookalikes
    Rand Paul – equivocating glibertarians
    Rick Santorum – raging religious theocrats
    Jeb Bush – GOP Corporate Mafioso

    as Deep Throat has stated in the past, follow the money…..

  16. 16
    boatboy_srq says:

    @dmsilev: Tribble v. Fizzgig.

  17. 17
    shell says:

    With the laconic delivery and soft bluegrass accent that lent a certain stoner quality to his speech…

    Oh for fuck’s sake. More starbursts!

    And sorry, Paul. I don’t want to hang out with YOU, either.

  18. 18
    shortstop says:

    @Paul in KY: …where he’d spend evenings with D’Anconia and Taggart discussing the newfound “moral crisis” of same-sex marriage and their fresh love of unlimited military spending.

  19. 19
    Sibelius says:

    @catclub: FOP. I don’t want FOP, I’m a Dapper Dan man!

  20. 20
    Betty Cracker says:

    WaPo’s saber-rattling wingnut blogger Jennghazi Rubin is not amused by this Rand Paul person and levels the most devastating insult a Republican can hurl at a fellow GOPer:

    As a freshman senator with no significant legislative accomplishment and a history of association with ideological extremists (his father, for one) and who is thin-skinned and oblivious to the threat from Iran, [Paul] bears an uncanny resemblance to the junior senator from Illinois who ran for president in 2008.

    Ooo, feel the burn! That’ll teach Paul to clap with insufficient enthusiasm for Netanyahu!

  21. 21
    Marcus says:

    To be a better candidate, I do think he should get one of

  22. 22
    BethanyAnne says:

    I don’t think Rand’s run is about this year at all. I think it’s about …

    … 20/20.

  23. 23
    Big ole hound says:

    The GOP gathering in Iowa will be like a pack of coyotes all howling at a big yellow moon. What a grand show with no audience except the media trying to be excited.

  24. 24
    shortstop says:

    @Cacti: I think it will follow much the same lines as 2012, only with fewer fringe candidates achieving semi-ascendancy at various times through the months. In the end, it will be Jeb, thoroughly bloodied though he will be…just as Mitt was.

  25. 25

    The Pauls have always been popular with people who want to claim they’re liberals while voting Republican.

    EDIT – @shortstop:
    I think Jeb has it locked up for the same reason Mitt did – Jeb is a minimally competent, organized campaigner, and the others are all clowns tripping over their own ladder.

  26. 26
    NonyNony says:

    @Betty Cracker:

    I don’t understand? Is that an endorsement for Paul from Jennifer Rubin?

    ’cause she does remember who won the Presidency in 2008, right?

  27. 27
    shortstop says:

    @Marcus: …yes? Tell us. We’re listening.

  28. 28
    Bjacques says:

    @piratedan: now they just need to marry each other’s daughters, then lock themselves up in the Biltmore with a whorehouse madam and a hundred boys and girls. For, say, 120 days.

  29. 29
    Marcus says:

    one of these:

    (sorry about the double posting, couldn’t edit the original)

  30. 30
    Cervantes says:

    @Amir Khalid:

    “Just a little dab’ll do ya.”

    And do you remember “Silvikrin”?

  31. 31
    J says:

    That is pure, grade A USDA certified tripe of the kind that earns the big bucks in what passes for journalism today.

  32. 32
    trollhattan says:

    @Paul in KY:
    Li’l Randy could have also done this about twenty miles south of Sacramento.

    Tribble-Top Twit Treads Timorously Towards Top Spot

  33. 33
    Booger says:

    @catclub: Fop.

    I don’t carry Dapper Dan. I carry

    No! I don’t want Fop! Goddamnit – I
    use Dapper Dan!

    Watch your language, young fellow,
    this is a public market. Now, if you
    want Dapper Dan I can order it for
    you, have it in a couple of weeks.

    Well, ain’t this place a geographical
    oddity-two weeks from everywhere!
    Forget it! Just the dozen hairnets!

  34. 34
    trollhattan says:

    @Betty Cracker:
    To be fair, the guy from Chicago is a much better ophthalmologist.

  35. 35
    Peale says:

    @Betty Cracker: both thin-skinned and oblivious about Iran? Is that some kind of leathery thin skin?

  36. 36
    trollhattan says:

    I simply cannot watch that movie too often. Cohen brothers are today’s best filmmakers. They’re bonafide.

  37. 37
    germy shoemangler says:

    @dmsilev: They quiver through the whole debate, then one hair clump jumps the other. After some galvanic quivering, they separate, and millions of tiny hair hatchlings skitter into the streets.

    In other news, I’m reading the comments on Sen. Schumer’s Facebook page:

  38. 38
    El Caganer says:

    @Betty Cracker: For the first 17 words, I thought she was talking about Tom Cotton.

  39. 39
    Calouste says:

    @NonyNony: Paul is trading in his own special brand of crazy to go for the mainstream GOP brand of crazy. His followers might get a bit disappointed with him if the only difference between Paul and the other Klowns is “States rights for pot laws”.

  40. 40
    El Caganer says:

    @dmsilev: 15-minute time limit, 3 falls, in the steel cage.

  41. 41
    jl says:

    maybe Marcus was snarking. I hear its all the rage these days with those damn kids.

    If not, i will send my business associate, a nice tidy white Christian man out to meet her, so that we can undertake a mutually advantageous business enterprise.

    If that don’t work, I have a Nigerian Prince business assoiciate who might be able to get her to make the right decision.

  42. 42
    mdblanche says:

    @NonyNony: Jennifer Rubin isn’t paid to remember things or do any other sort of thinking. She’s paid to cut and paste the press releases of whatever Republican has contracted her services into the Potomac Pravda. Clearly that Republican isn’t Paul.

  43. 43
    trollhattan says:

    Anybody brave/silly enough to have access to the WSJ op-ed page who can summarize today’s pack of lies about how liberals caused the California drought? I only get as far as “Consider this rationing a surcharge of environmental excess.” before being blocked with all the other moochers.

    I simply can’t wait to read their solution for remedying four years of effectively no rain or snow.

  44. 44
    Betty Cracker says:

    @Frankensteinbeck: I hope you’re right about the Republicans picking Jeb — if Hillary Clinton is to be our nominee (and it sure looks that way so far), Jeb on the other ticket would somewhat neutralize the “political dynasty” and “too old” knocks on HRC.

    If the Repubs nominate anyone who could remotely qualify as a fresh face (e.g., Paul, Rubio), the corporate media will go all in on demonizing “that entitled old woman” and playing up a 40-something long-term political hack’s youth and outsider status.

    Of course, the corporate media will crap all over Clinton or whomever the Dems nominate. But I predict they’ll sink to new lows of sexism, ageism and CDS if the money boys don’t succeed in orchestrating Jeb’s nomination.

  45. 45
    Mike E says:

    @Booger: Didn’t Clooney get his uncle in Kentucky to record all his lines in order to nail down an authentic accent for the movie?

  46. 46
    Paul in KY says:

    @shortstop: I’m reading that damn book right now. She was evidently paid by the word. My problem (in trying to hack my way through it) is that I don’t give 1 shit for any of the characters I have met so far.

    It is a tad more interesting than a boring textbook in a field you aren’t interested in at all. There’s a quote they can put on the dust jacket!

  47. 47
    Turgidson says:

    @Betty Cracker:

    Uh oh. Jen is surpassed in being wrong only by (What an insufferable) Dick Morris and Bloody Bill WRONG Kristol. If she starts saying Rand is a sure loser, we could have trouble.

    And I know she thinks she just totally burned Rand with this comparison, but she did just compare Rand to a guy who kicked the shit out of the Republicans on his way to winning the presidency twice and makes her look like an idiot regularly.

  48. 48
    Paul in KY says:

    @Mike E: Mr. Clooney is from KY himself. I’m sure he’s heard that accent growing up (although he still may have done what you mentioned).

  49. 49
    raven says:

    LOUISVILLE, K.Y. — Jimi Hendrix’s trippy/soul version of the “Star-Spangled Banner” was on the sound system in the Galt House ballroom just before Rand Paul’s campaign kickoff.

    Give me a fucking break.

  50. 50
    Paul in KY says:

    @Turgidson: Yes, that’s the guy she compared him to…

  51. 51
    raven says:

    Now this was at the Virginia Tech- Bama Music City Bowl in 1998:

    Jazz musician Larry Carlton performed the traditional pre-game playing of the national anthem, but his rendition of the Star-Spangled Banner did not meet with the crowd’s approval, and he was booed

    I was there and he didn’t just get booed, people were really pissed. What makes this jackass think that shit will play with the phony, flag waving “support the troops” assholes her needs?

  52. 52
    Mike E says:

    @Paul in KY: Miss E had to watch O Brother in high school and loved it, especially the creative retelling of The Odyssey set in the Great Depression…definitely spoke to her in a way that got her to understand/appreciate two different bygone eras.

  53. 53
    Amir Khalid says:

    Silvikrin? Vaguely. It wasn’t as big as Brylcreem.

  54. 54
    gvg says:

    It does appear that they still make Brylcreem. Walgreens and Walmart and Amazon sell it. Those who like it, really like it and prefer the original formula too so that means there is another version out there.

  55. 55
    Howlin Wolfe says:

    @Amir Khalid: Little dab’ll do ya! Yabba dabba doo!

  56. 56
  57. 57

    @Betty Cracker:
    I don’t think they even need to orchestrate it. The same thing will happen that happened with Romney – Jeb’s opponents will nuke themselves because they’re all wildly incompetent ninnies. All he has to do is coast to a win.

  58. 58
    boatboy_srq says:

    @Betty Cracker: Shorter Rubin: Fifty Shades of Uppity.

  59. 59
    boatboy_srq says:

    @DougJ @top: Actually, Paul does remind one of the typical GOTea undergrad campus organizer – you know, the supposedly-hip guy the Teahad dispatches to college campuses on the assumption that the kids will think he’s the genuine face of the party (not the prune-face oldsters out to make sure nobody has any fun at all).

  60. 60
    Tree With Water says:

    “..with his jeans and cowboy boots, his tie-but-no-jacket look, his mop-in-need-of-cutting coiffure”.

    When I was a baby, I inherited a little Howdy Doody puppet from my sister that looked just like that. Had the thing for many years, until it disappeared somewhere along the line..

  61. 61
    Woodrowfan says:

    @trollhattan: I simply can’t wait to read their solution for remedying four years of effectively no rain or snow.

    Tax cuts…

  62. 62
    Mike E says:

    @Woodrowfan: And prayer.

  63. 63
    Mandalay says:


    I think Jeb has it locked up for the same reason Mitt did – Jeb is a minimally competent, organized campaigner

    I agree that he has it locked up, but not for that reason. It’s because he will have gazillions of dollars available to eviscerate his opponents, just like Mitt did in 2012.

    If, in some parallel universe, all Republican contenders had the same amount of money to run their campaigns, Bush would be a complete non-entity.

  64. 64
    trollhattan says:

    You’re scaring me with this UNLIMITED CORPORATE CASH! talk.

    I suppose Gov Pence’s recent experience show that the village and the money people will split ranks whenever the bottom line is at risk.

  65. 65


    I guess the Ridiculously Resilient Ridge was caused by clouds of smug generated by Prius drivers. I think I saw it on my teevee.

  66. 66
    Jeffro says:

    @NonyNony: Cruz will get vastly more votes than Rand Paul. He has no distinct appeal outside of those who have been supporting his dad this past decade, and now he’s even betraying those (cough) ideals…

  67. 67
    Jeffro says:

    @trollhattan: Carly Fiorina is trying very hard to peddle the same bs…I believe the response back from the Sierra Club (among others) was “you could stick us with that argument (about environmentalists blocking new reservoirs) if, perhaps, ANY RAIN HAD BEEN FALLING TO BE CAUGHT”

    I mean, seriously? How does the right-wing mind short-circuit that badly, to think you’re making an intelligent argument about libs keeping reservoirs from being built to catch rain that isn’t falling??

  68. 68
    Jeffro says:

    @piratedan: Cruz has Santorum’s wing covered just fine, w/ a fresh face (ugly tho’ it is) to boot. Walker’s Koch backers are the equivalent (for now) of the multitudes of Bush money-men.

    You have to feel for Christie, Jindal, Perry, Huckabee, and Santorum (not to mention Perry): they’ll still get all the good grift that’s comin’ to them, but they’re not going to catch fire, not even for 15 minutes.

    However, watching Bush, Rubio, Walker, Cruz, and Paul try to explain what ever-so-slight shades of gray distinguish them from one another should be a great deal of fun. No one can get to Cruz’s right and he’ll be happy to point that out. Watching Paul trying to keep his dad’s supporters while going anywhere with the rest of the GOP should be exciting too.

  69. 69
    Chris says:

    @Roger Moore:

    I think to some extent they’re also caricaturing based on what they think of as the public. They assume Normal People are your stereotypical bubbas, not interested in all that high-faluting fancy-pants pointy-headed “economics,” “expertise,” and other “fuzzy math” type things that have actual policy implications. They just care about character, about knowing that the person in front of them is a goshdarn Good Guy who’s honest and relatable and Like Them.

    Which is why their ideal president is someone like George W. Bush, who has all the elite credentials but also fulfills all their stereotypes of what they think the bubba vote wants.

    Conversely, I think the popularity of Barack Obama and Elizabeth Warren absolutely baffles them. They’re people who manage to promote an at least somewhat populist message, which resonates with a hell of a lot of people, but they do it while looking and sounding like professors rather than the frat boys (George W. Bush) or prom queens (Sarah Palin) that they’ve convinced themselves are the archetypes of What The People Want.

    Almost as if the average Joe actually listens to what the politicians are saying instead of just consulting the should-I-have-a-beer-with-them-o-meter.

  70. 70
    Goblue72 says:

    @Betty Cracker: Works both ways.

    The following will never be the GOP nominee:

    Rand Paul
    Ted Cruz
    Chris Christie
    Rev. Sweater Vest
    Dr Huxtable’s Republican Cousin
    Scott Walker

    The first 5 for glaringly obvious reasons apparent to anyone with a lick of political sense. The last because he’s so clearly a Not Ready for Primetime Player.

    The only candidate on the GOP bench that is at all a serious contender is Heb Bush. And he’s been kept on the sidelines due to the family dynasty thing and his brother messing up so bad.

    Hillary neutralizes that charge. You can’t criticize him on that point without it appearing a double standard.

    However, Hillary running against anyone else – the charge of political dynasty against her is effectively neutralized by the first woman President thing.

    We don’t want to face Heb.

  71. 71
    Cervantes says:

    @Amir Khalid:

    Yes, including here in the States.

  72. 72
    Violet says:

    I really haven’t been paying attention to Rand Paul at all so i didn’t know what he sounded like. Heard a snippet of his announcement on the radio today. His voice is so grating. I think that alone will turn off some people.

  73. 73
    mdblanche says:

    @Tree With Water: It would seem that the Blue Fairy turned him into a real boy and now he’s the junior Senator from Kentucky.

  74. 74
    J R in WV says:

    Don’t forget about Vitalis, there was a bottle of that at my Grandma’s farm house for years. I think it was left after my late uncle moved out after he got home from WW II.

    I never tried it, but then I had a very short crew cut as a kid.

  75. 75
    Shana says:

    @Amir Khalid: I haven’t seen Brylcreem either but then I haven’t looked for it either.

  76. 76
    Cervantes says:

    @J R in WV:

    Yes, Vitalis! — though not as common as the abovementioned, because it was an alcohol-based product and slightly more expensive.

  77. 77
    Turgidson says:


    I’d agree that Jeb is less clownlike than the rest of them, but we should still be salivating at the opportunity to face him. He seems like a new Romney, only with a poisonous last name and perhaps even less charisma. He’ll be well-funded, but just like Mittens he’ll have to spend a lot of cheddar to emerge from the clown car as the nominee. Hillary will be plenty well-funded to deal with him if he gets that far.

    The comparisons if it’s Hillary/Jeb will all favor team blue:

    Bill Clinton vs. either of the Georges Bush? Who will voters remember more fondly?

    Barack Obama vs. George W. Bush? I know Jen Rubin thinks Obama is the least popular person on earth, but she’s an idiot. Unless the economy sputters next fall, Obama will be a far more popular and effective surrogate than Bush or any other recent GOP nominee. Feelings about the catastrophe that was the GWBush presidency have softened because for once in his life he did the smart thing and kept his lying idiot mouth shut when he left office, but be assured that the Hillary campaign will compile a Greatest Hits of his biggest fails to mock Jeb with and ask the country “really? another Bush?”

    Obviously the “polls this far out are stupid” caveats apply, but with the single exception of a recent Quinnipiac poll, Hillary has been beating Jeb narrowly in Florida despite his supposed strength there and killing him everywhere else. And he does no better than most of the other clown car occupants.

    Jeb is just like Mitt. The least-pathetic clown in the car. But a clown all the same.

  78. 78
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Paul in KY:

    Adam Lee has been blogging his way through Atlas once a week for the past two-plus years, and is only at the end of the novel’s Part Two (he also takes apart the films). Wonderful writing, trenchant observations, and spot-on analysis. When you have some time, begin at the beginning and work your way through in chronological order. The comments are almost always well worth reading, too. I’m not sure why you’re reading AS, but these columns can only add to your, uh, enjoyment.

  79. 79
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Howlin Wolfe:

    Doing this from memory, but:

    Brylcreme — a little dab’ll do ya,
    Brylcreme — you’ll look so debonair.
    Brylcreme — the gals’ll all pursue ya —
    They’ll love to run their fingers through your hair!

    (I guess I know what my earworm du soir is going to be.)

  80. 80
    Goblue72 says:

    @Turgidson: would agree save for one thing – I expect the economy will sputter in mid-2016. Fed is already telegraphing increasing rates later this year. Expect a Fed engineered slowdown (as a consequence of the Fed unwinding it’s balance sheet)

  81. 81
    Paul in KY says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: Thank you!

  82. 82
    eyelessgame says:

    SiubhanDuinne beat me to it, but recommendation heartily seconded.

    Oh, and read the book in a rubber room, or in a room with a mural you hate, because you will be throwing that thing multiple times.

    The characters don’t get better, but the author gets wordier.

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