Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Good luck with your asparagus.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

Tick tock motherfuckers! Tick fucking tock!

Shock troops for the Unitarian Jihad.

Where tasty lettuce and good mustard aren’t elitist.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

There’s some extremely good trouble headed their way.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn – Nancy Pelosi

Lighten up, Francis.

Screw the Judean People’s Front. Splitters.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

Trump is going to draw a dick on that dog with a sharpie, isn’t he?

Something seems odd about that, but i have been drinking.

We can agree to disagree, but i’m right.

We need fewer warriors in public service and more gardeners.

Almost as fun as hiking the Appalachian Trail

Wetsuit optional.

Historically it is a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Call the National Guard if your insurrection lasts more than four hours.

Four legs? good! two legs? we’re not so sure…

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

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47Comments

  2. 2.

    Belafon

    I had someone say that about my laugh. Since I’ve been doing it that way forever – even back when my mom tried to tell me it was too loud – I don’t quite get what makes it that way, but I’m glad it makes people feel good.

  3. 3.

    Tractarian

    Nothing about the fluorescent orange beard?

    And isn’t “She has a great laugh” something that men only say about attractive women? (Theory checks out here.)

  4. 4.

    Linnaeus

    He didn’t go for lake trout?

  6. 6.

    phantomist

    His appearance on camera was all the more startling because he’d dyed his white beard the color orange to support people in Maryland suffering from multiple sclerosis.

  7. 7.

    Mike J

    I don’t like either ManU or Arsenal, but this has been a really good game. Lots of opportunities on both ends.

    And Arse go up 1 nil.

  8. 8.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Just heard on the radio that Sam Simon died yesterday, one of the original writer-producers of the The Simpsons. An interesting guy, he spent the years since his diagnosis giving away his $100 million

    One beneficiary of his philanthropy, The Sea Shepherd Society, which opposes whale hunting, named one of its boats for Mr. Simon. (Others are also named for celebrity supporters.) In 2011, the Simon foundation started a program that provides low-income families with free vegan meals. After Mr. Simon received his cancer diagnosis, he announced his intention to give nearly all of his “Simpsons” royalties to charity.
    Asked whether he was imposing his own vegan diet on those his charity served, Mr. Simon said: “They can eat all the meat they want. I’m just not going to pay for it.

    He did an interesting talk with Marc Maron, who if history is a guide will be reposting it.

  9. 9.

    Bobby B.

    Wow, that Candace Dold is a hottie. Too bad we don’t get her type in southern Oregon. We had Alyssa Caroprese for a while but she recently went to Albany NY.
    “Weathergirl Oglers Local 217”

  10. 10.

    trollhattan

    @Tractarian:
    I have a couple favorite female “Wait-Wait” panelists with great laughs so I should chase down pics to see if the theory holds….

    TJ Jimmy do love him some junkfood.

  11. 11.

    Amir Khalid

    @Mike J:
    I would like both the Arse and United to lose this match, but since the laws of the game don’t allow that I’ll settle for a draw and a replay.

  12. 12.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    That’s the sorta professionalism that defines a local Fox news broadcast.

  14. 14.

    trollhattan

    @Bobby B.:
    For many years we were weatherized by an honest-to-gawd centerfold. Make of that what you will, but I guess it’s our counterpoint to launching Rush Limbaugh on the rest of the planet.

  15. 15.

    Elizabelle

    She does have a great laugh.

    For “good things” from Betty’s thread, below: Sundance channel, 7:00 a early tomorrow, “Everything Must Go”, terrific little movie starring Will Ferrell, in a serious role, and a young black actor (teenaged) who’s amazing. Christopher Jordan Wallace. Looks like he was in a movie about the Notorious Big, too. Wiki article gives away all the plot points, so beware. It’s good to let this one just unfold before you.

    Loved this one when it was in the theatres in 2011. Filmed in Phoenix and Scottsdale; beautiful mountain in neighborhood backdrop. Compelling story, from a Raymond Chandler short story.

    Rotten Tomatoes audience score was 53%; critics liked it better. Maybe they expected Talladega Nights. This is the anti-movie to that.

  16. 16.

    Mnemosyne (iPhone)

    I somehow managed to aggravate my old whiplash injury, so I’m cranky and in pain. It was actually more comfortable sleeping on the couch last night than trying to sleep in bed since I could use the back of the couch to support my bad shoulder while I slept.

  18. 18.

    gogol's wife

    It’s warm (relatively)! It’s sunny! It’s melting! I drove freely around town today!

  21. 21.

    trollhattan

    @Carolinus:
    This really caught me short.

    On Facebook, Willette commented on the post, writing, “I’ve been very good over the last year and a half about not posting things about Obama, but this one was too good to pass up. I promise this will be the last one for some time.”

    That’s his idea of being a grownup?

  22. 22.

    AnonPhenom

    Yeah, about the letter to the ayatollah from the 47 GOP senators … I think people are giving them way too much Machiavellian street-cred. It’s just your standard GOP ratfucking. A simple case of payback for Obama’s ‘interference’ in what they perceive as their purview (immigration) compounded by the frustration of getting outmaneuvered and failing badly with their first attempt at payback (DHS funding). Icing on the ‘Let’s invite Bibi to talk to congress’ cake.
    The Bibi thing and this letter business has great appeal to the Right’s base, but politically it will be yet another fail if they keep it up.
    So I invite them to ‘Go for it!’

  24. 24.

    Violet

    @geg6: Congrats! Are you just taking Lovey? Can’t wait for more pictures of her!

    That guy’s beard is awesome. Best TV segment I’ve seen in awhile.

  29. 29.

    Germy Shoemangler

    @AnonPhenom: from the NYTIMES:

    Iran reacted with scorn to the letter, saying it would have no impact on the talks and suggesting that the authors were the ones who did not understand the American system of government in which the president conducts foreign policy.

    “In our view, this letter has no legal value and is mostly a propaganda ploy,” Javad Zarif, the Iranian foreign minister, said. “It is very interesting that while negotiations are still in progress and while no agreement has been reached, some political pressure groups are so afraid even of the prospect of an agreement that they resort to unconventional methods, unprecedented in diplomatic history.”

    Mr. Zarif added that a change in administration would not relieve the United States of its obligations under any agreement. “I wish to enlighten the authors that if the next administration revokes any agreement with ‘the stroke of a pen,’ as they boast, it will have simply committed a blatant violation of international law,” he said.

  32. 32.

    bemused

    @Elizabelle:

    On the weekend we watched A Little Romance with Diane Lane and Laurence Oliver. Diane Lane was 13. Sweet movie about two 13 year olds in love who met Oliver, a lifelong pickpocket. Oliver becomes a partner in their running away plan.

  33. 33.

    The Thin Black Duke

    @Germy Shoemangler: Whoa.

    Once again, the morons of the GOP have been exposed as Not Ready For Prime Time players.

    Sigh.

    Y’know, speaking as an American citizen, this is goddamned humiliating.

  34. 34.

    Amir Khalid

    Dafuq is wrong with Angel di Maria? Ref books him for diving, he gets pissed and grabbed the ref’s shirt. Second booking and he’s off. Fucking maroon.

  35. 35.

    patrick II

    I liked the “don’t tell the boss I get this” line. I’m guessing he’s going to find out.

  38. 38.

    Shana

    @bemused: Absolutely charming movie. We made our daughter watch it before we went to Venice for her first visit there.

  41. 41.

    Pogonip

    @Amir Khalid: *ahem* Balloon Juice does not allow that kind of language. You will have to be MUCH more profane if you wish to join the front page.

  42. 42.

    geg6

    Thanks all! We’re approved for both but John and I aren’t sure that both is a good idea. Either way, I’m ecstatic!

  43. 43.

    WaterGirl

    @geg6: Lovey is yours?

    Edit: I see that she is! So what are the concerns about taking both? I’m sure there are at least a hundred of us here who would like to weigh in with our opinions. :-) And it would be a nice break from the Hillary battles!

  45. 45.

    Pogonip

    @geg6: Two puppies is a great idea if you can handle the housebreaking. I haven’t tried it but my best guess is you would need at least one set of eyes per pup. If you’ve got that, I say full speed ahead and damn the rug. When do you assume ownership of the little bundle(s) of joy?

    It’s probably a good thing, probably helps to screen out bad people trying to get puppies to train fighting dogs on, but I still can’t stop chuckling at the idea of having to be inspected and approved to take a dog off somebody’s hands. This, I guess, is why life spans are finite–as customs change, eventually we old folks would be laughing so hard at the new customs that we’d be constantly wetting our Depends. Be that as it may, I am cheering as I chuckle; may you and the pup(s) live happily ever after!

  46. 46.

    Chet

    A couple of YouTube commenters opined that the whole thing is actually a thinly-veiled viral marketing campaign by Mickey D’s in conjunction with that TV station. That Golden Arches-adorned red bag in the guy’s back seat does look suspiciously prominent.

  47. 47.

    PurpleGirl

    @WaterGirl: This is Balloon Juice. I’m sure there is someone who could find a way — however a long shot or weird — to blame Geg6 only getting one puppeh on Hillary.

    And Geg6 — Congratulations on being approved to get the puppehs. If you only take one, it will still be great and I’m sure you, John and Koda will love the puppeh and provide it a great home.

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