With the State of the Union on tonight, Ron Fournier’s gotta Fournier on how to know if Obama is being a Very Serious Person or not during his speech, and it’s like discovering the Grand Unifying Theory of Villager.
Here’s but a taste:
The pronouns: Count how many times Obama uses the words “I,” “me,” and “my.” Compare that number to how often he says, “You,” “we,” “our.” If the first number is greater than the second, Obama has failed. He needs to remember the lesson of Mitt Romney’s 2012 campaign: Don’t dismiss the 47 percent of Americans who disagree with him.
The man is beyond self-parody. He couldn’t have written more obtuse, pointless drivel if Charles Pierce’s cardboard standee of Ron Fournier was writing Ron Fournier’s columns.
The shellacking: It wouldn’t hurt to acknowledge the inconvenient truth that his leadership is the single biggest reason why Democrats lost the midterm elections in November. What lessons did he learn from the drubbing? How did those lesson shape his agenda? My colleague George Condon notes that every president of the past 100 years has been forced to address midterm defeats. Most have handled the situation with grace. Can Obama?
I mean look at this. Every bit of condescending, pearl-clutching, eye-rolling iota of Fournier’s being is on display here, dismissing the President’s speech some 12 hours before it’s even given. It’s like looking at an ornithology field guide, and seeing a picture of a cardinal, and you put the book down and peer through your binoculars and immediately spot a perfect specimen of a cardinal, engaged in textbook cardinal behavior, doing all the cardinal-type things the field guide lists in order.
You will never find a better, more perfect example of Village Idiocy then this. This is the ball between Buckner’s legs, it’s Mickelson’s Winged Foot shot into the trash can, the 2008 Detroit Lions’ loss number 16 in Green Bay in the 4th quarter. This is as perfectly terrible as scolding Obama for something he hasn’t done yet, but will be blamed for anyway because of willful ignorance can get.
You have to salute the guy, it’s like bowling a perfect game by accident after spending the last six years bringing an incontinent rhino to take a soul-wrenching dump all over the lanes on league night and then setting everything on fire, and one glorious day the stampeding rhino manages to repeatedly slip on the flaming feces and keeps kicking the ball down the lane and manages to rack up 12 consecutive strikes. You know it’s mathematically possible, but you never expect to actually be in the presence of such an event.
Peak Fournier achieved.