Today’s Worst Person In The World

Via memeorandum, this letter to Dear Prudence:

Dear Prudence,

I live in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in the country, but on one of the more “modest” streets—mostly doctors and lawyers and family business owners. (A few blocks away are billionaires, families with famous last names, media moguls, etc.) I have noticed that on Halloween, what seems like 75 percent of the trick-or-treaters are clearly not from this neighborhood. Kids arrive in overflowing cars from less fortunate areas. I feel this is inappropriate. Halloween isn’t a social service or a charity in which I have to buy candy for less fortunate children. Obviously this makes me feel like a terrible person, because what’s the big deal about making less fortunate kids happy on a holiday? But it just bugs me, because we already pay more than enough taxes toward actual social services. Should Halloween be a neighborhood activity, or is it legitimately a free-for-all in which people hunt down the best candy grounds for their kids?

—Halloween for the 99 Percent

You gotta love the “are clearly not from this neighborhood” bit. Wonder how she knows that?

At any rate, you sociopath, the reason you feel terrible is because you are a terrible person. But don’t worry, you just momentarily had a bit of self-awareness, and I’m sure that will soon pass. The burden of being aware that you are a horrible person will go back to the rest of us who have to deal with you as you obliviously run red lights in your Mercedes coupe and do other obnoxious things.

Around here, lots of kids come from all over the area to trick or treat. This is the only real town around in between Wellsburg and Wheeling, so lots of kids who live in less pleasant areas and areas where you just can’t trick or treat safely (farms, really rural areas, etc.) come here on our official Halloween celebration. We have street lights and sidewalks and the town cop drives around and the Volunteer Fire Department places trucks with their lights on to assist with the safety. The church hosts a party in the basement and there is a costume judging contest and the kids win awards for their costumes and bob for apples and the like. My fraternity boys and other fraternity boys are stationed on corners to make sure the kids who are unattended by adults are safe, and lots of parents walk with their kids from house to house and stand by the curb as the kids ring the doorbell. My favorite part is always when they meet the dogs and Tunch/Steve, and inevitably dozens of them remark how big the cat is (something that has not changed whether it be Tunch or Steve) and there are always two or three sweet little girls who want to pet Lily, and she just sits there daintily and lets the kids clumsily pet them and pull on her ears or tail by mistake.


All in all, it’s a good thing. It’s a community thing. It’s a nice diversion for both kids and adults. And I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you all that I give them lots of candy (the good shit- chocolate bars and Reese cups and the stuff they want, not apples or popcorn balls or other stuff) because I want to be one of the “good candy” houses so they keep coming back. Lots of retirees who make in a year what this bitch above probably makes in a week spend their meager savings to hand out candy because, well, that’s what you do on Halloween.

No one worries about where the kids are from or whether or not you’re giving candy to the poors or whether it’s a charity you didn’t sign up for, because THEY ARE FUCKING KIDS.

You suck as a person. You may have made it financially, but you have failed in every other aspect of life. If you were a guy, I’d kick you in the junk, but I probably don’t need to. Your pathetic existence is probably miserable enough. I’ll probably never think about you again, but you are trapped with yourself until death. Sorry about that.

Not really. Asshole.

FWIW, Prudence’s response was much more measured.

224 replies
  1. 1
    Michael G says:

    I live in a shitbox apartment about a half mile away from a much nicer neighborhood.

    I don’t get ANY trick-or-treaters.

    Since I eat all of the leftover candy this system is working well for me.

  2. 2
    rikyrah says:

    At any rate, you sociopath, the reason you feel terrible is because you are a terrible person.


    Just tell the truth.

    Tell the truth.

    Anyone who would begrudge kids Halloween is a complete and utter


  3. 3
    Walker says:

    But it just bugs me, because we already pay more than enough taxes toward actual social services.

    No, you don’t.

  4. 4
    raven says:

    We get very few kids here but two blocks away is bedlam. Kids are most certainly brought from other parts of town but I don’t know of anyone that complains.

  5. 5
    shortstop says:

    That was as enjoyable on several levels as a jumbo pack of Reese’s.

  6. 6
    peej says:

    I have no problem giving candy to the neighborhood kids….I just wish I knew how many were going to come (it varies from Halloween to Halloween). I end up buying too much and eating the remnants myself…which I definitely don’t need.

  7. 7
    Trentrunner says:

    I agree with all of this except

    Your pathetic existence is probably miserable enough.

    Chances are, it’s not. She has plenty of money, has the time and emotional energy to expend on something WHICH IS NOT ANY KIND OF PROBLEM AT ALL, probably has family that loves her, and has a relatively satisfying romantic and sexual life, free of most diseases and most of life’s catastrophes. She’s very fortunate, and it’s more to the point that she doesn’t realize it, but that doesn’t matter to her.

    No one is keeping score. Good things happen to bad people, and those bad people keeping making them happen, because they’re bad.

  8. 8
    jl says:

    Bring back Saturnalia and ye olde lymey Merrie Chst Mass when poors rioted in front of rich people houses until they disgorged their stuff to aforesaid poor crowd’s satisfaction.

    Would be fun times reading huffy letters about that.

  9. 9
    Lee Rudolph says:

    FWIW, Prudence’s response was much more measured.

    You’re kidding!

    …Actually, I think you’d make a great advice columnist. How’s “Dear Imprudence” sound to you?

  10. 10
    satby says:

    I was going to come over here and share that letter, but John got there first and better than I ever could.
    Where I lived in Chicago wasn’t the wealthiest neighborhood, but it was well-off, safe, and kid friendly, and we had tons of kids from the neighborhood east of us come trick or treating because of all those things. And it was always a pleasure to see the little ones get so excited about their treats.
    What a sad, selfish place people like the letter writer actually live in, she just thinks she lives somewhere nice.

  11. 11
    the Conster says:

    I’m wondering if this was a troll, but sadly it’s impossible to tell anymore because lack of self-awareness is the hallmark of the 1%. Does this person feel sad at the end of A Christmas Carol because the Cratchits get a turkey?

  12. 12
    Belafon says:

    Halloween is my family’s favorite (non)holiday; having the last name Mask will do that. We seriously decorate the front yard: We have a tunnel to the door we put up covered in black plastic among other things. Last year we gave out 17 bags of candy.

  13. 13
    cckids says:

    Amen, John!! Until this summer, we lived in a neighborhood that was known to be good for trick-or-treating. Not rich or gated, just nice middle-class homes where most of the residents participate in Halloween, so the kids can get a decent haul without walking past dozens of dark houses. We ALWAYS got 200-300 trick-or-treaters through on Halloween night. Many of them were from out of the neighborhood, you could tell because they’d arrive in crowds, with a car at the end of the street that dropped them off.

    It is a favorite holiday of mine; we always have the house & yard decorated to the nines, the cats are shut away (they feel that they already know all the humans they need to) & we put the baby gate at the front door to keep the Pomeranian in, though he is the official greeter. I give out good candy (just in case of leftovers, also I remember being a kid & hating the off-brand stuff). I don’t get being irritated with “outside” kids coming in, they are having a great time & are always polite & sociable. I am also in the minority, apparently, because I love seeing groups of teens costumed & having fun still being kids. As long as they aren’t asses to the smaller kids, why care? Unclench, people!!

    This summer, we moved to an apartment complex. Lots of kids live here, so we’ll see how this Halloween goes. I have my tiny front area (and my neighbors) decorated :) Trick-or-treaters welcome.

    If it bugs you so much, shut your porch light off & don’t get bothered. Grinch.

  14. 14
    YellowJournalism says:

    Anyone see the movie Trick r Treat? This person needs to have the little Jack O’ Lantern kid ring their doorbell.

  15. 15
    Mnemosyne says:

    You know what you do if you don’t want to participate in Halloween? You turn your porch light off. Problem solved, and it doesn’t require you to bitch about candy being a social service.

    And, yes, Halloween has been a free-for-all for friggin’ YEARS, especially in more populated areas. People always gravitate to the neighborhoods that give out better stuff, even — gasp! — middle-class people, not just Poors.

  16. 16
    cckids says:

    @Lee Rudolph:

    How’s “Dear Imprudence” sound to you?

    Lots of the advice might consist of “Quit whining, asshole”, and “Christ, what a moron”.

    Would be an entertaining read.

  17. 17
    Felonius Monk says:

    Voted #1 best Halloween rant evah!

  18. 18
    Downpuppy says:

    @Lee Rudolph: Any response that includes

    Your whine makes me kind of wish that people from the actual poor side of town come this year not with scary costumes but with real pitchforks.

    is quite adequate.

  19. 19
    zippity says:

    I had my house rented out for a couple years while I lived in the country with my now ex-fiance. Last year was the first Halloween back in town. Before I left, I was lucky to get 20-25 kids. I always buy the good candy, too, and let the kids pick a couple each. Last year, I went through 8 bags and had to shut my light off an hour early. I bet there were over 100 kids-it was great! I can’t imagine begrudging kids on Halloween. With the conservative craziness becoming mainstream, the entitled seem to have lost the filter that used to keep them from saying these things out loud.

  20. 20
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    Your whine makes me kind of wish that people from the actual poor side of town come this year not with scary costumes but with real pitchforks. Stop being callous and miserly and go to Costco, you cheapskate, and get enough candy to fill the bags of the kids who come one day a year to marvel at how the 1 percent live.

    Part of Emily Yoffe’s “more measured” response.

  21. 21

    FWIW, Prudence’s response was much more measured.

    I’m not sure that I’d agree. She may be more polite about it, but wishing for angry poor people to show up with real pitchforks doesn’t strike me as a particularly measured response.

  22. 22
    chopper says:

    Where in the letter is it clear that the writer is a woman? I mean there’s certainly an Ann Romney vibe to it, but still.

  23. 23
    satby says:

    @Downpuppy: Yeah, Prudence may have been more “measured” but the contempt showed just the same. Good for her.

  24. 24
    bert grundle says:

    Thank you, John Cole, for being alive and making the perfect comment.

  25. 25
    Crusty Dem says:

    Jeebus, what a miserable shitty asshole. Whenever I hear someone like this, I always go back to “Exactly what is this costing you??” A few extra bags of candy is a pretty low price, and then you can feel like you contribute to society, you horrific shitheel! I can’t imagine they contribute anything else…

  26. 26

    When I lived in grad student housing, we would get a lot of little kids for Halloween, now that I live in a town of 400, we hardly get anyone. We were given a friendly ghost to put on our door, so the kids would know that they were welcome. If poor grad students can afford candy so can this lady.

  27. 27

    @chopper: It’s sexist, but I just assumed men didn’t write Dear Prudence, I guess.

  28. 28
    shelley says:

    But it just bugs me, because we already pay more than enough taxes toward actual social services.

    Don’t you just love the slight whiff of ‘Are there no prisons, are there no workhouses” about that sentence.
    There’s been a lot of years when we’ve had some vans of kids, coming up from Newark, sponsored by various churches. Kids from areas where it’s not that safe to go trick/treating. I remember one acquaintance going off on this, really annoyed. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why?

  29. 29
    WereBear says:

    My dog Arby loved to wear a shirt and tie and answer the door with me. Kids would exclaim over his costume, and I’d say, “What do you mean, that’s my brother.”

    They loved it.

    And yes, I maintain the spiritual principle that such a mean, small, snippy and social-struggling person is not happy, despite the smooth life and luxe surroundings. Otherwise, all upper middle class and above people wouldn’t take the truly staggering amount of drugs and financial cheating and sexual risks that they do.

    And, you know, they do.

  30. 30


    You know what you do if you don’t want to participate in Halloween?

    They’re proud of moving to a neighborhood full of 1%ers and just blocks from the 0.01%ers, probably because they want to rub elbows with the right kind of people. They very much want to enjoy a neighborhood only Halloween that involves socializing with the neighbors they’ve paid so much to be near while keeping the 99% riff-raff out.

  31. 31
    cthulhu says:

    @the Conster: It could be a troll but it also sounds like something that does happen in the LA area. The kids have gone trick-or-treating in their affluent friends neighborhoods and certainly it is not surprising that some of the crazy stuff done there attracts kids from all over. But, seems to me that, unless it is a security-gated area, it is ridiculous to think you can control that or even want to. Are you only doing Halloween for the “right kind” of kids?

    We get a lot of kids in our much more middle/lower class mix neighborhood but we also tend to be one of the more involved and decorated houses.

  32. 32
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @schrodinger’s cat: The last four buildings I’ve lived in didn’t have trick-or-treaters at all. I buy candy the first year because I don’t want to be “that guy.” After I end up eating the candy over the next few weeks I don’t do it again.

  33. 33
    Cervantes says:

    Wonder how she knows that?

    Same way you knew she was a she?

    My fraternity boys and other fraternity boys are stationed on corners to make sure the kids who are unattended by adults are safe

    How do they know the not-unattended kids are safe?

    Anyhow, there’s no question: the letter-writer has lost sight of several important things.

  34. 34
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Roger Moore:

    Of course, the 0.01% kids don’t trick or treat for Halloween. Their parents throw lavish parties for them. So the idea that their little Sophia or Jackson is going to be rubbing elbows with their betters during trick-or-treating is already foolishly optimistic.

  35. 35
    satby says:

    I’d bet it wasn’t a troll, I’ve heard people complain that way in my old neighborhood, though not anyone that other people thought were worth talking to in the first place. There’s always someone with an IGMFU attitude, the sad thing is now it’s been mainstreamed.

  36. 36
    dance around in your bones says:

    When I was a kid, we always sussed out the best neighborhoods for the best candy and etc. We used to get homemade ice cream sandwiches and fudge and brownies – nowadays that would all be thrown out, because razor blades in the apples, doncha know !

    We used to take pillow cases for our candy stash. NO parental units around! It was a different time, not Beaver Cleaver but close enough!

    I tell all the kids I know to enjoy being a kid, for as long as you can -because it ain’t ever gonna get better.

    I was SO determined to be my own person at age 15 that I ran away from home several times. Once my mom had to borrow her bosses’ car and drive to Kingman, Arizona – where I was in jail for being a minor traveling across state lines.

    She was NOT pleased.

  37. 37
    Mnemosyne says:

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    Our new apartment building hands out paper pumpkins that you can put on your door to show you’re ready for trick-or-treaters. I’m not sure we’re going to be able to do it this year since the 31st is the day we have to have our old apartment buttoned up and the keys turned in, but I’d like to if we can.

  38. 38
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @dance around in your bones: Was this before or after you got turfed out of Belgium?

  39. 39
    MomSense says:

    If seeing costumed children’s faces light up with delight when you give them something as simple as a candy bar doesn’t make you feel joy and satisfaction, then you are an asshole.

    Working on costumes now. My youngest is going to be a praying mantis and I think I might revisit my Medusa costume with more snakes this time.

    Last year a kid came to my door as a piece of tekka maki. It was one of the best costumes I have ever seen.

  40. 40
    Baud says:

    I like to give poor kids bootstraps instead of candy for Halloween. I think they appreciate it.

    Oh, and ebola is back. In New York.

  41. 41

    @dance around in your bones: Compared to you, I have lead an extremely staid and boring life. You should really write those memoirs soon.

  42. 42
    Mnemosyne says:

    @dance around in your bones:

    My mom used to bake cookies for Halloween but, because it was the 1970s, she would put a little slip of paper with our name and address in each bag so parents would know it wasn’t a random crazy person giving them out, it was the crazy lady in the Raggedy Ann costume two streets over. ;-)

  43. 43
    dance around in your bones says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Before. I was quite the innovator. I could tell you the whole long story about how I came to be flying into Brussels to meet my boyfriend (future husband for 42 years) but it might take too long and I have to cook a gawd damned sweet potato and stir fry for my employer.

    I better get cookin’!!!!!

  44. 44
    Waldo says:

    @the Conster: You never know where DougJ will strike next.

  45. 45

    @Omnes Omnibus: I don’t have much of a sweet tooth, so it was Mr Kitteh who ended up eating all the candy.

  46. 46
    chopper says:


    and when a homeless dude asks for change, you say ‘change comes from within’.

  47. 47
    Botsplainer says:

    We’ve never, ever had trick or treaters at our house. The street is an orphan, the houses set too far apart and too far back (plus, our house is brown and way down a tree lined drive, invisible from the street and vice versa, so it is by definition scary).

    Thing is, I love Halloween, adore decorating for it. When the kids were kids and young teens, I did the shit up right – their friends enjoyed coming by.

    Now that they’re all away, I don’t bother since nobody but me and the wife would see it.


  48. 48
    Mike in NC says:

    This entitled creep needs to hire a George Zimmerman type on Halloween to chase away all the filthy riffraff begging for Skittles.

  49. 49
    beth says:

    I love Halloween and we get over 200 kids on average (I know how many cause I make little treat bags). Every supermarket has candy on sale now. Most are buy one, get one deals on bags with 50 pieces of candy per bag. That’s for the name brand stuff- the off brand stuff’s even cheaper. It’s not like it costs a fortune to make some kid happy.

  50. 50
    WereBear says:

    @Mnemosyne: Our new apartment building hands out paper pumpkins that you can put on your door to show you’re ready for trick-or-treaters.

    What an awesome idea. Sending apartment-warming vibes your way.

  51. 51
    dance around in your bones says:

    Ok, apparently I am now undefined – which I feel like at times. Gonna go cook dinner!

    An undefined dinner, LOL

  52. 52
    Downpuppy says:

    The greatest Halloween ever was when my daughter was 1 & didn’t get the concept. People would open the door & she’d just walk inside to visit. Didn’t make many houses, but the ones we did were hilarious.

  53. 53
    dmsilev says:

    Also, it’s not like we’re talking huge amounts of money here. I mean, our modern food industrial complex will happily sell you sacks of M&M mini bags or whatever for a couple bucks a pound, and let’s say the ravening hordes of …others are going to need 20 pounds of candy to satiate their appetite (and 20 pounds is _a lot_ of candy). You don’t have to go all that far up the socioeconomic ladder to reach a point where $30-40 once a year for a holiday is no big deal. If you own a house in a wealthy neighborhood and that 40 dollars is even a drop in the bucket compared to your tax burden, no you’re not paying a huge amount of money going towards a social safety net.

  54. 54
    Elmo says:

    When I lived in the ski town, there was one subdivision situated a little lower in elevation than the rest of the town. Almost never had real snow in the ground by Halloween. And it was a loop.

    So on Halloween the cops closed the loop on both ends, and allllll the kids in town came to that neighborhood. The houses would be decorated, haunted houses, and neighbors would compete to go over the top on the haunting and candy.

  55. 55
    raven says:

    Dear Prudence, open up your eyes
    Dear Prudence, see the sunny skies
    The wind is low, the birds will sing
    That you are part of everything
    Dear Prudence, won’t you open up your eyes?

  56. 56
    esc says:

    I overheard an extended conversation between two enlisted military personnel while I was sitting with my son in the NICU. They were outraged that kids from “those” neighborhoods would come into the area where the military owned housing was. Had I been my usual self, I would have asked them just where they thought those kids were coming from that that neighborhood seemed so wonderful.

  57. 57
    Mnemosyne says:


    Cat-wise with the move, Keaton and Annie are pretty much okay so far, but Charlotte is NOT HAPPY. She’s been hissing at the furniture (and occasionally at Keaton and Annie) and woke us up at 4:00 am with her yowling. A Feliway diffuser is being purchased on my way home tonight, and G is bringing the toys we forgot over from the old place.

  58. 58
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @esc: Yeah, you are coming from a less than nice neighborhood if married enlisted housing seems nice to you.

  59. 59
    Stephen Benson says:

    I live near the Mexican border. Every Halloween we get kids from Mexicali. Since they aren’t really all that versed in English and the nuances of the weird holiday instead of “trick or treat” they usually say “tricky tricky Halloween.”

    they get candy from me, and from most of my neighbors. like every other place we have our jerks. my rule is jerks get no candy.

  60. 60
    gogol's wife says:

    @Lee Rudolph:

    Wouldn’t that be great?

    Lovely essay.

  61. 61
    the Conster says:


    You know, it does definitely have a DougJ vibe about it – especially the nym “Halloween for the 99 percent”. That’s got too much snarky self awareness for an unrepentant asshole to call themselves. I call spoof.

  62. 62
    cthulhu says:


    The greatest Halloween ever was when my daughter was 1 & didn’t get the concept. People would open the door & she’d just walk inside to visit. Didn’t make many houses, but the ones we did were hilarious.

    Our daughter’s first Halloween, we did a practice at our house and then we went to her first real house. When they opened the door and we helped her with the “trick-or-treat’ part, she reached into her bag and gave them candy!

  63. 63
    raven says:

    Another fucking ebola case, MD in NYC that was in West Africa.

  64. 64
    satby says:

    @the Conster: The editors do the nyms, not the letter writers, though the writer may suggest one that’s used. Betting the letter writer didn’t name herself that (yeah, it sounds like a woman to me too).

  65. 65
    kc says:

    No way that letter is “real.” I really can’t believe so many people have fallen for that.

    For crying out loud.

  66. 66
    the Conster says:


    Ebola was so last week. We’re bored of it now.

  67. 67
    WereBear says:

    @Mnemosyne: Moving is one of the toughest cat challenges. Can you set up a box or something for her. (You should have plenty of empties.) Shrink her world for her, maybe?

  68. 68
    kc says:

    “this bitch”

    Is there some reason you assume the letter writer is a woman?

  69. 69
    raven says:

    @the Conster: Not as bored as I am with this stupid thread.

  70. 70
    satby says:

    @cthulhu: My oldest son was 10 months old his first Halloween, and the costumes and all the people scared him, he also was afraid to go up to houses though his older and wiser 3 year old buddy mentored him the first few. Then he found out he got candy at all the houses. And his little 10 month self flew down the block from house to house, pushing to get ahead of the larger kids. He was about 2 feet tall.

  71. 71
    Baud says:



  72. 72
    kc says:

    @the Conster:

    Of course it’s a farkin troll. I’m sure people like that exist, but they I doubt one of them wrote to Dear Prudence seeking validation.

  73. 73
    Robert says:

    I give out candy to anyone who comes to my door trick or treating, adults included. I don’t spend months preparing elaborate homemade decorations and changing my theme every year to be a miser and turn people away. I go outside. I take photos for families. I answer questions. I deliver candy to little kids who are too scared to make it to the front door. I show kids how the props work and teach them how to set off the special effects (if there are any). I tell parents where to go to learn how to make props and invite them all to come trick or treating again the next year. I tell my high school students to drive by and come say hi, and that’s after I spend all day with them helping them run their Halloween assembly and setting up custom built props for them.

    If you don’t want to hand out candy, don’t. That’s it. Turn your lights off. Don’t be a jerk and demand the right to deny children this holiday.

  74. 74
  75. 75

    @cthulhu: Yes. That is what the Lil Phoenix did, some years ago, the night before she turned 2. We hiked those freakin’ candy bars around the neighborhood, from house to house. She just couldn’t quite grok that she was supposed to TAKE something, but not leave anything in exchange.

    Turns 15 next weekend, and still has strong beliefs about fairness that she can’t be talked out of.

  76. 76
    JPL says:

    @raven: He was on a subway so the news will be all atwitter.
    He’s a doctor for Dr.s without Borders so hopefully he receives quality care and gets well.

    P.S. Don’t tell John

  77. 77
    raven says:

    @JPL: Seems like he made some pretty stupid decisions.

  78. 78
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @dance around in your bones:

    By a train of thought that is surely obvious: Whatever has happened to Sarah P&T?? Haven’t seen her in an age.

  79. 79
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    But it just bugs me, because we already pay more than enough taxes toward actual social services.

    I’m sure this person is one of those VIPs who need choice parking for the Mitt Romney rally.

    This person is eminently tumbrel-worthy.

  80. 80
    the Conster says:


    If it wasn’t DougJ, it was someone from the DougJ School of Trolling. Well played, troll. Well played.

  81. 81
    danielx says:

    Customarily sit in chairs outside with an old buddy and hand out candy while sipping Black Bush. They are happy and we are happy.

  82. 82
    Tenar Darell says:

    @satby: seems only right to share this adorable little kid. H/T boing boing

  83. 83
    Dexter's New Approach says:

    I always assumed the Slate Dear Prudence thing was mostly fake-but-true click bait. And these stupid articles often have the most views/shared on the site.

  84. 84
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @raven: Stupidest decision of all was he went bowling in Williamsburg.

  85. 85
    kc says:

    Where in America do kids still go trick-or-treating anyway? No one I know who has young children takes them trick-or-treating. I haven’t had any come to my house since I moved here (though I always have candy just in case). I loved it when I was a kid, but it seems like a thing of the past.

    That’s another way I know that got damn letter is a fake.

  86. 86
  87. 87
    the Conster says:

    @Gin & Tonic:

    Kind of like getting on a plane, n’est ce pas?

  88. 88
  89. 89
    Omnes Omnibus says:


    Whatever has happened to Sarah P&T?? Haven’t seen her in an age.

    She’s probably on a multi-month gin and meth fueled binge with Taylor Lautner, Channing Tatum, and Betty White.

  90. 90
    Suffern ACE says:

    @the Conster: it’s in New York City now. Prepare for the deluge of coverage.

  91. 91
    raven says:


    Our Founding Princliple:

    The vision of The Wild Rumpus is to provide an organized avenue for the massive array of Athens creativity which manifests with such awesome power every Halloween. In the style and spirit of events like Burning Man or The Oregon Country Fair, The Wild Rumpus can serve as a safe and highly visible outlet for these creativities.

    Halloween is Athens’ Mardi Gras. For those who have never experienced it, it could be described as mayhem in the streets. Known regardless as one of the top 5 party destinations in the nation, Athens is also “Never Never Land” to an active population of wildly creative, experimental artists and musicians. The colorful vibe of the artists carries over into the enormous student population of the University of Georgia, which LOVES a good time, resulting in an inventive mix of fun, creativity and revelry. The Halloween holiday is the pinnacle event of this bubbling stew of artistic self-expression, costuming and gleeful abandon.

    This year we seek to organize this event again for the purpose of channeling the creative spirit into a collaborative, all-inclusive, peaceful, fun time for all. And to get our Ya-Yas out, and howl at the moon.

    Happy Halloween Athens!

    -Timi Conley, Master of Ceremonies 2010

  92. 92
    kc says:

    @the Conster:

    No kidding! It reeks of troll to me, but I’ve seen people huffing with indignation about it on Twitter.

    I do miss DougJ’s troll theater.

  93. 93
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @the Conster: Bowling in Williamsburg is for hipster douchebags wearing flannel shirts and porkpie hats and drinking PBR. So maybe we’ll be lucky and he transmitted Ebola to some of them.

  94. 94
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @raven: Like FreakFest in Madison.

  95. 95
    Suffern ACE says:

    @raven: i don’t know if the nurses of the city can be any more on end.

  96. 96
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Gin & Tonic: Reports are that he got there by getting an Uber ride. Of course.

  97. 97
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Gin & Tonic: I liked pork pie hats when they were for Rude Boys.

  98. 98
    chopper says:

    @Gin & Tonic:

    he clearly didn’t go to Brooklyn Bowl, or he would have died from the disease after waiting a week for a lane to open.

  99. 99
    kc says:


    That sounds like fun. As long as the college kids don’t start a Pumpkinfest-style riot. :)

  100. 100

    @Gin & Tonic: I have never seen the attraction of bowling. So boring, or may be I think so because I suck at it. Also too, pool.

  101. 101
    PurpleGirl says:

    Last year the Children’s Committee of the Co-Op sponsored a common trick-or-treat party in the lobby of Building 4. (The Committee chair lives in Building 4.) I helped for about 2 hours to watch the partying. Since the Co-Op is composed of 7 buildings, it’s hard to know who lives in which building. We didn’t ask any child where they lived, we let any child take candy. (The teenagers are another story.) We are doing the lobby party again this year. I will help again, and, yes, I’ll wear the Yarn Monster. Children, parents, and teenagers like seeing it.

    ETA: We have over 900 families in those 7 buildings; a large number of them are older people without children but still, that’s several hundred families with children.

  102. 102
    Suffern ACE says:

    @Gin & Tonic: yeah. Of course he works at the hospital of my partner. Who is now rushing to complete training protocols to handle this that change every day.

  103. 103
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @chopper: You clearly know way too much about the Brooklyn bowling scene. Are you drinking a PBR and growing ironic facial hair as you type?

    @schrodinger’s cat: My lifetime high score is an 84. I believe this was a fluke as it is nearly double my typical score. Not that I have that many bowling scores to tally up.

  104. 104
    chopper says:

    @Gin & Tonic:

    I’ll bet Lyft is already printing ads about it.

  105. 105
    Corner Stone says:

    An actually pretty interesting NFL game clocking by, as well.

  106. 106
    the Conster says:

    @Gin & Tonic:

    I’m thinking that a symptom of Ebola is to immediately travel or have an overwhelming urge to participate in large group events. WTF!

  107. 107
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: I liked it on Lester Young.

  108. 108
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @schrodinger’s cat: You can make money playing pool.

  109. 109
    chopper says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    No, I’m riding my fixie. Gotta go buy some more mustache wax.

  110. 110
    Corner Stone says:

    @Gin & Tonic:

    and porkpie hats

    What the hell?

  111. 111
    Ruckus says:

    The letter may not be real(I’m betting it is) but I’ve known assholes like this and it appears so have others. Everything they have they “earned” and they aren’t willing or able to understand that they are just plain assholes. They weren’t born that way, no one is, they were made, self or otherwise. They deserve, even if only by example to be made fun of and derided for being the assholes they are.

  112. 112
    Corner Stone says:

    I, personally, have always disenjoyed Halloween. But it’s one of my sister’s favorite two days of the year (Easter).
    So I get to put up with all the decorating, carving, etc so she can celebrate with her nephew.

  113. 113
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Gin & Tonic: A fair point.

  114. 114
    MazeDancer says:

    Have lived in the primo trick-or-treat neighborhood in several states. Record number was 400.

    Though have had several years where I was on deadline and couldn’t do the few hours away from work. So turned off all the lights and huddled ocer the computer in an inferior room. No one came by.

    Prudence’s letter doesn’t ring true. Possibly invented. Everyone who lives in the trick-or-treat zone knows how to handle it. Or they turn off the lights.

  115. 115

    @Gin & Tonic: Not me, but may be you can.

  116. 116

    @the Conster: John has a candidate for a post about the worstest person in the world now.

  117. 117
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Corner Stone: Haven’t visited Brooklyn in the last decade or so, I see.

    Actually, to be more pedantic about it, most of what you’ll see are trilbys and not porkpies.

  118. 118
    Corner Stone says:

    We used to get kids truckloaded in from “that” neighborhood every year. Which, looking back on it is pretty fucking funny.
    But back then it was a big deal. Just like the garage sales days.

  119. 119
    PurpleGirl says:

    John, righteous rant. I’ll hazard a guess that asshole woman lives in southwest Connecticut, in say Darien or Greenwich, from her description of the income/professional demographics. Her family is probably well-heeled and not lacking for anything either.

    Like your picture of the fraternity boys at a Halloween party. Good guys.

  120. 120
    Corner Stone says:

    @Gin & Tonic:

    Actually, to be more pedantic about it, most of what you’ll see are trilbys and not porkpies.

    Well then stop trying to sell me a trilby by calling it a fucking porkpie hat.

  121. 121
    Berndog says:

    You probably spend more money on nail polish in a month than the candy costs. You suck.

  122. 122
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Corner Stone: Sort of like the alleged busloads of Democratic voters who are bussed into Racine and Kenosha on Election Day?

  123. 123
    Corner Stone says:


    Record number was 400.

    Record number of what?

  124. 124
    Suffern ACE says:

    @the Conster: we’ll see if he was following protocol and taking his temperature before doing anything. If he wasn’t, he is indeed to be roasted. If so, what can you do?

  125. 125
    TEL says:

    Funniest comment about this story at TPM (I wish I could take credit for it):

    Halloween is the one day each year that poor kids get to be haughty princesses and blood-sucking fiends.

    The 1% get to do that the other 364 days.

  126. 126
    Catherine D. says:

    In my area, it’s a porch-light-on and approach. My road now has a town walkway out in front of my house. I’ve been on the walkway side for ages, but I hope the tradition holds. Otherwise the little darlings will encounter the child-unfriendly banshee and the friendly but frightening-looking wolf dog.

  127. 127
    jake the antisoshul soshulist says:

    @Gin & Tonic: PBR? Who knew my pappy was a hipster. Do they drink the PBR hot?

  128. 128
    Corner Stone says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Nothing alleged about it, in my case. It’s sad and kind of funny to look back and realize we lived in a lower middle class neighborhood, and as I grew up, more and more Hispanic kids from the neighborhood on the “wrong” side of the ditch came to our area to Trick or Treat.
    Same thing for garage sales. People would put a $.25 tag on something and these individuals would harass you for 30 minutes to get it down to a nickel. They essentially stopped doing garage sales before I got out of high school because their white trash trash castoffs just wasn’t worth putting out on tables any longer due to the effort to get it sold.

  129. 129
    the Conster says:

    @Suffern ACE:

    What can you do?? Stay home and self-quarantine!! It’s not that hard to stay out of large groups of people when you don’t have to, and don’t tell me he had to go bowling. Why is this so fucking hard to understand, especially since we know what happens when you don’t self-quarantine? Jeebus Gawd, spare me the protocol nonsense given what we know about the ability of our FAIL media to ignore the facts about everything, especially where Ebola is concerned. Apparently another symptom of Ebola is to lose all common sense.

  130. 130
    cckids says:


    Where in America do kids still go trick-or-treating anyway?

    Well, here in Sin City (close to it, Henderson), there are LOTS of trick-or-treaters. There are also the mass events at malls, etc, but those are such godawful crowds that many people (like me) would not be caught dead at them.

    Where are you, that T & T is not happening?

  131. 131
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Ah, then I needn’t worry about her.

  132. 132
    Corner Stone says:

    I swear to christ child in his manger I am sick to death of the fucking weenies pissing themselves about Ebola. We’ve been monitoring, what? Something like 160 fucking people out of Dallas and Cleveland?
    Yeah, it’s a bad deal. Get a fucking hold of yourselves, people.

  133. 133
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: I don’t know that I would go that far.

  134. 134
    Suffern ACE says:

    @the Conster: you know any doctors? This is not atypical for them at all.

  135. 135
    Kineslaw says:

    @MazeDancer: Last year we had 500 and expect more this year. Kids come to this neighborhood from all over and we have a ball. The whole neighborhood gets into it and the kids and their parents are always polite.

    I wouldn’t begrudge them anyway, but since I traveled to this neighborhood to trick-or-treat over 25 years ago, I have no room to complain :)

  136. 136
    kc says:


    I know people like that too-it’s just that this letter reads like a fake to me. I just don’t believe some wealthy entitled asshole sat down and composed that letter.

    Of course I could be wrong . . .

  137. 137
    raven says:

    @kc: This event is way too hip. Besides most of the real morons will be in J-Ville for the cocktail party.

  138. 138
    Tehanu says:

    Some friends of ours live in a very, very affluent neighborhood where everybody on the block is expected to go all-out on decorating for Halloween — lawn displays, lights, you name it. We spent one H. with them and 1,300 kids showed up; at one point we had to go out and get more candy at the store, which by that time was picked nearly clean. It was instantly obvious which kids were from the neighborhood and which had come from poorer parts of town, because the latter mostly didn’t even have costumes. To give them credit, our friends were happy with it; they said since they went to all that trouble to dress up the house, they expected people to come from all over. But there were other homeowners who, they said, complained bitterly about the “Mexican trash clogging up the street.” My main feeling was that I so wished we could have handed out costumes as well as candy. I can’t imagine what it’s like to begrudge poor kids a few treats once a year.

  139. 139
    Ripley says:

    @Gin & Tonic:

    most of what you’ll see are trilbys and not porkpies.

    This must be worse for you than suffering from ebola, I’m certain. The horror.

  140. 140
    Corner Stone says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: At this point I would pay to join her meth fueled sex binge tour if I could 1)drink anything besides gin and 2)never hear the word ebola at any point during the strange (yet necessary!) sex rituals she puts us through.

  141. 141
    Corner Stone says:


    I just don’t believe some wealthy entitled asshole sat down and composed that letter.

    Need I remind you of the “We eat what we kill” shennany letter written by that uber douche in Chicago?

  142. 142
    kc says:


    Coastal South Carolina. The Redneck Riviera.

    It’s horrible; my friends and I are forced to eat all these leftover candy bars every year . . .

  143. 143

    @the Conster: maybe the call is coming from inside the house, on the common-sense precautions. My Google-fu is weak and it’s in MedScape but…viruses are suspected to affect the behavior of their hosts in various ways.

    F’rex: Herpes that is about to ‘break out’ (become visible) but hasn’t yet, at its peak viral load, seems to correlate with the infected person going on the hunt for some strange (the scientists don’t put it in such poetic terms, but I can’t get into the database to link the study…).

    So we can’t rule out the possibility that the doctor who went bowling in an Uber is normally a sensible individual…but for the Ebola.

  144. 144
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Ripley: At last, someone understands.

  145. 145
    Suffern ACE says:

    @Gin & Tonic: thank you. I was was going to point that out, but you did do I don’t have to.

    Also, trilbys are for us aging hipsters. The new ones wear full beards. I’ve very seldom seen both in combination. Those hats are for those of us who entered hipsterfom through bowling shirts and Americana.

  146. 146
    kc says:

    @Corner Stone:

    Yeah, but that douche was pounding his chest. This letter-writer is asking for validation.

  147. 147
    raven says:

    3 hokie fumbles in the 3rd qtr. NIghty night

  148. 148
    A Humble Lurker says:

    We didn’t have any substantially richer neighborhoods near ours growing up, but after we got candy from the blocks around our house we’d head out to a neighborhood where they really loved decorating their houses. More than our neighborhood did. Because that was fun.

  149. 149
    Corner Stone says:


    This letter-writer is asking for validation.

    Aren’t we all?
    I’m just happy I don’t have the damned ebola at the moment.
    Fucking ebola carrying terrist illegals coming into our neighborhoods to steal our candies and impregnate our womenfolk with ebola DNA babies!
    I’ve been watching out for them! Watching out for the overdeveloped calves.
    Damned dusky Mary Jane mules!

  150. 150
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I think you have a more highly evolved worry gene than I do.

  151. 151
    suzanne says:

    I just bought eleven pounds of candy tonight, and this letter makes me so freaking mad. THEY’RE KIDS. BE NICE TO THEM. Seriously. The world will shit on them for being poor soon enough. ONE DAY OF THE YEAR, you can be not an asshole.

    On Halloween 2012, one of my neighbors had two bowls of candy. One had full-size candy bars, and the other had little tiny tootsie rolls. They asked each kid if they wanted Obama or Romney to win. If they said Romney, they gave them one of the big candy bars. If they said Obama, they got a tootsie roll.


  152. 152
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Corner Stone:

    I don’t think you would need to pay. I’ll bet she would let you in free comp gratis no charge.

  153. 153
    the Conster says:


    You’re right, but that’s completely irrelevant. We don’t live in a world where people make decisions or form opinions based on mathematical probabilities, we live in the world of CNN and Fox, and one person with Ebola, even though the likelihood of them infecting anyone has a probability approaching zero, has a very high likelihood approaching 100 percent of setting off another round of unnecessary panic which triggers unforeseen consequences. Have Ebola? Stay home until you know you’re free of the virus and no one will ever care!! Problem solved.

  154. 154
    Morzer says:

    I’d say the latest “conservative” freakout deserves a shot at the WPITW nomination:

    Conservatives are outraged over what they claim, mistakenly, to be evidence of massive voter fraud being perpetrated in Arizona, The Daily Dot reports.

    In the video — which was posted at Glenn Beck’s The Blaze under the headline, “Surveillance video apparently catches guy doing something at the ballot box that left Republican monitor stunned” — Ben Marine can be seen entering the lobby of the polling station in a Citizens for a Better Arizona (CBA) shirt and delivering absentee ballots he had collected.

    Despite the outrage from conservative sites, Marine was not behaving illegally when he delivered the ballots to the polling station.

    But A.J. LaFaro, the chairman of the Maricopa County Republican Committee, told the Arizona Daily Independent that Marine’s behavior was suspicious, and complained that Marine was “a vulgar, direspectful, violent thug that has no respect for our laws. I would have followed him to the parking lot to take down his tag number but I feared for my life.”

    Looks like Working While Brown is the latest “illegal” activity in the eyes of the apartheid party.

  155. 155
    kc says:


    Wow. Assholes.

    I hope someone at least TP’d their house.

  156. 156
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: Few have ever said that about me.

  157. 157
    kc says:

    @Corner Stone:

    I’m coming to your house in my Ebola Virus costume.

  158. 158
    Corner Stone says:

    @kc: God dammit.

  159. 159
    dance around in your bones says:

    @ Cornerstone ( for some reason the linky thing is not working for me tonight)

    Same thing for garage sales. People would put a $.25 tag on something and these individuals would harass you for 30 minutes to get it down to a nickel.

    I spent a few minutes looking for – and not finding – a Cathy comic strip of a yard sale where the people ended up asking her to pay them for taking the item away.

    Having done many yard sales, swap meets, and other more glamorous sales events I can tell you – it’s fucking true. People want stuff for free. What’s funny in Santa Barbara is that you see nice furniture and stuff on the sidewalk all the time – marked “FREE!”

    The Goodwill stores are full of nifty stuff as well.

  160. 160
    Corner Stone says:

    Cole Approved Quarantine ™ strikes again!

  161. 161
    Suffern ACE says:

    @kc: I’ll join you. I’ll be a nurse in a biohazard suit with holes in it. Maybe we can get someone to come as a PR flunky to report that the local hospital is fully prepared.

  162. 162
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I am One of the Few.

  163. 163
    Corner Stone says:

    @Suffern ACE: Will you be bringing Mr. Christian Bale, whom I’ve repeatedly seen you passionately mugging down with recently?
    He doesn’t have the ebola, do he?

  164. 164
    Mike in NC says:

    Early voting started here today. I expected no lines, but there were at least 15 seniors ahead of me at 11 AM, and within a few minutes 15 more seniors were in line behind me. Oh, and there was a sign outside the polling place that read “Guns Not Permitted Beyond This Point”. Only in America…

  165. 165
    steverinoCT says:

    I live on a loop with only one entrance, so a lot of parents drive their kids here because it’s safe to walk the streets. We get about 100 kids from 5-9PM. The weather is usually cooperative so I and the neighbors sit outside rather than schlep candy up and down the steps to answer the door.

    I love watching the kids, both the toddlers and the teens. The older kids roam in packs, just goofing and having fun. Harmless.

  166. 166
    kc says:

    @Corner Stone:

    For your information, Ron Fournier is on Twitter saying no one is freaking out over Ebola:

    “For the record, NOBODY has panicked over #Ebola. The only people hyperventilating are the people hyperventilating over the faux panic”

  167. 167
    Suffern ACE says:

    @Corner Stone: he’s game. He’ll be playing the role of a lifetime. He’ll be playing the nurse’s boyfriend and will be carrying tickets to a Norwegian Cruisline honeymoon package that can’t be cancelled. xD

  168. 168
    Corner Stone says:

    We’ve got a ballgame here, folks!

  169. 169
    I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet says:

    @Baud: We get variable number of kids each year. Sometimes we have about 5 pounds of stuff left over; sometimes we run out early. It’s always interesting.

    ThinkProgress on the NYC Ebola case:

    1. According to reports, the doctor reported his condition as soon as he exhibited symptoms. The New York Times reports that Spencer “did not develop a fever until Thursday morning.” He then immediately reported his symptoms and was transported to the hospital by emergency medical workers in protective gear. People with Ebola “cannot spread the disease until they begin to display symptoms.”

    2. Spencer’s subway ride on Wednesday night was highly unlikely to pose a danger to fellow travelers. Spencer did ride the New York City Subway on Wednesday night to go bowling. But he was not displaying symptoms at the time. Except in the very sickest patients, the virus is primary “spread through blood, feces and vomit.” As a result, Ebola is “extremely unlikely to spread through public transit.” There has been no documented case of “transmission to a human from a dry surface” like a subway pole. The disease is not airborn.

    3. New York City hospitals are prepared. Various hospitals in New York City have been drilling to screen for potential cases of Ebola. Bellevue, where Spencer was transported, was designated to receive suspected or confirmed Ebola cases. Staff is equipped with “Tyvek gowns, a white bodysuit that is impervious to fluids” and other protective gear. Spencer is being treated in one of four isolation rooms. There is also “a separate laboratory in the infectious disease ward to handle Ebola blood samples, so they will not have to be transported around the hospital.”

    Fingers crossed that he’ll recover quickly and this hysteria will continue to die down.


  170. 170
    Joel Hanes says:

    My grandmother, peace be upon her, always gave full-sized Hershey bars, either milk or almond, one per kid.
    She kept track of how many kids came each year; was delighted the year the total went over 100. I think her best year was somewhere over 110.

    During the Depression, this same woman fed any tramp who came to the back door and knocked politely.
    They lived three blocks from the tracks.
    She fed a lot of tramps;

  171. 171
    James E Powell says:

    But it just bugs me, because we already pay more than enough taxes toward actual social services.

    This is one of the major points of contention in our country.

    There are at least two parts: 1) do they pay enough taxes? and 2) does the tax money go toward actual social services?

  172. 172
    I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet says:

    @dance around in your bones: This one?.

    (Who often likes an internet search challenge…)

  173. 173
    the Conster says:


    If any group is immune to hysteria, it’s New Yorkers. Like they’re all going to stay home now…LOL.

  174. 174
    mzrad says:

    haha: I love that you read “Dear Prudence,” ol’ Grumps McCole.

    ; 0

    give our love to the piglets and be good

  175. 175
    The Dangerman says:

    Remember when the travel ban people were saying that health care workers would be free to go back and forth to Africa without impediment…

    …well, Fox News changed that tonight. They were blaming the CDC and Obama for letting this NYC MD back into the country (culpritprick was Ed Henry).

  176. 176
    Steve from Antioch says:

    A friend lived one one of those streets. She, and all the neighbors, used to decorate their lawns. It reached the point where she counted 650 trick or treaters one night. And yes, you could tell quite easily that nearly all of the children came from other neighborhoods.

  177. 177
    the Conster says:


    I’d like that link if possible – that’s really interesting. If I were a virus, that’s what I’d do – I’d spread myself far and wide, as quickly and intensely as possible while my window of opportunity is opened and my host is the only way to do that. Isn’t that the difficulty and the premise of The Walking Dead?

  178. 178
    dance around in your bones says:


    Kind of – but I swear I remember one strip where someone wanted to buy an empty bottle, and she had priced it at fifty cents…..she lowered her price to a quarter, and then the person wanted Cathy to pay them for taking it away.

    I vividly remember it because at the time I was doing a LOT of Swap Meet stuff. My truck would often get overrun by people looking to buy shit before I even got into the Swap Meet space. I’d say – WAIT! Let me set up first!! But it was all – do you have any golf clubs? Kitchen stuff? OMG.

  179. 179
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @the Conster: On the internet, no one can tell you are a virus. Well, not without Symantec or something similar.

  180. 180
    Suffern ACE says:

    @The Dangerman: and they were to go where? Ebola Island where we store healthcare workers?

  181. 181
    Chris T. says:

    @dance around in your bones: Have you ever tried to get a razor blade into an apple? It’s not easy!

    (seriously, joking, I’ve never actually tried … it sure doesn’t seem easy in my imagination though!)

  182. 182
    The Dangerman says:

    @Suffern ACE:

    …and they were to go where?

    Well, that they would have no place to go would be Obama’s and the CDC’s fault, too.

  183. 183
    the Conster says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Maybe I just infected you when you clicked on me. How would you know, since I disguise myself as an ordinary commenter on a somewhat popular blog, as a smart virus with some ambition would do.

  184. 184
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Chris T.: Jesus, spend the fucking money and get fresh, sharp blades. Using old, dull ones is just shoddy psychopathy. Have some god damned pride in your work.

  185. 185
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @the Conster: Eh, I had Ebola a couple of weeks ago.*

    *Or some kind of 48 hour bug. W’evs.

  186. 186
    Ruckus says:

    One suffers far more life threatening behavior from assholes texting and driving 2 ton cars at 70-80 mph. I saw a far larger percentage than the .00000001% you are talking about on my way home from work today.

  187. 187
    Heliopause says:

    Dear Prudence,

    This is just fucking profane. These are Yang worship words. You shall not speak them.

  188. 188

    @Chris T.:

    I’d probably slash my fingers and bleed out before I killed a kid.I don’t know where that urban legend came from, but we never worried about razor blades in our homemade ice cream sandwiches! In fact, we tried to eat them ASAP because otherwise they would melt.

    Has that ever REALLY happened? I guess I should check Snopes.

  189. 189
  190. 190
    Mike E says:

    @Mike in NC: I’m voting tomorrow after lunch at the community center on the edge of my city’s largest Black college… my 7th or 8th different polling location since I moved here 17 years ago, mostly due to the advent of county wide early voting. GOPers hate that shit!

  191. 191

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Good Gawd – so it really happened a few times. People are strange…….etc…..

  192. 192
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @dance around in your bones:

    People are strange……..

    …. when you’re a stranger. Faces look ugly when you’re alone.

  193. 193
    cckids says:


    my friends and I are forced to eat all these leftover candy bars every year .

    So, so sad :(

    I have an aunt & uncle who moved there after making a fortune selling shoes to the military bases in CA. They are full-on Faux News junkies, bitching about the 47%. I love, love, LOVE that they are across the country & I rarely see them anymore.

  194. 194
    cckids says:


    Three Americans.
    Out of a population ~315 million.

    Even in the 3 hardest-hit countries in West Africa, they have <9000 cases (not fatalities) out of a population that is over 23 million. And thats the worst outbreak in history. People here need to chill desperately.

  195. 195

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Yeah, you got it :)

    Last year we has exactly ONE trick or treater (we lived in a kind of old folks neighborhood).

    I rushed to put on my kimono from Tienda Ho just to impress the kid. I think his parents (who were shadowing him) were kind of freaked out!

    I cannot imagine why.

  196. 196
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @dance around in your bones: I really miss giving out candy. When I was a kid, I would go out for a while but candy never was important to me; I would come home early and hand out candy to others. My brother turned out the same way. The delight on a kids face when he or she got a name brand candy bar was fun to see. My parents weren’t well off back then, but they weren’t going to fuck over kids over a few dollars.

    ETA: To go with the razor blades in apples stories….

  197. 197
    Steeplejack says:

    God, Bill Cosby was painfully, unrelentingly not funny—at great length—on Colbert, and Colbert was inexplicably lapping it up. Ugh.

  198. 198
    moderateindy says:

    I lived on a busy street, on a block that only had 2 houses on it, which was fairly far away from the houses on the side streets, so I rarely ever got more than 20-25 kids, most, from folks I knew in the neighborhood. I really enjoy Halloween, so I would give out full size candy bars, and some of the kids that had really good costumes would get small toys that cost between 3-5 bucks. I’d always keep a bag of fun size candy around for the occasional teenagers that didn’t bother dressing up. I’d always end up with extra candy and toys, but I had an ex-girlfriend that worked at a big community agency with disabled kids, who would take the excess to work.
    I always wondered whether or not the neighborhood kids didn’t know what I was giving away, or just didn’t think it worth their time to go so far out of their way to get it. My guess is the latter. you could hit 3 houses on the side street in the time it took you to get to my place.

  199. 199

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Such a great song – I remember that one of the first videos we bought was the Talking Heads – the one where David Byrne comes out on stage with just a tape recorder (remember those kiddies?)

    We watched, enthralled. Plus, the Tom Tom Club? Awesome.

  200. 200
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @dance around in your bones:

    the one where David Byrne comes out on stage with just a tape recorder

    I loved that one. Also, I always loved the Heads because they were preppy punks. They wore their clothes and did their shit. Fuck everyone else. That to me was/is punk.

  201. 201
    Mike J says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Also, I always loved the Heads because they were preppy punks. They wore their clothes and did their shit. Fuck everyone else. That to me was/is punk.

    Early NYC punk was much more influenced by the art school kids who were doing it than by the gobbing brits with whom they got lumped in. The LA hardcore scene was much more “punk conformist” with some notable exceptions.

    Patti Smith, Blondie, Voidoids, Television, most of what we think of as early US punk was art rock (but not ELP/Yes/Genesis style stadium art rock).

  202. 202
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Mike J: I know. You know that.

    ETA: Johnny Rotten critiquing Katy Perry.

  203. 203

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    That said, the second video we bought was Dances With Wolves – because it was only $5 at McDonald’s, back in the day.

    In case you think I’m elitist scum or whatever.

    But gads, the 80’s was FULL of good music! Jim Carroll, The Waitressses, Oingo Boingo, Holly and the Italians, Elvis Costello, – I could go on and on. And – I actually saw all these guys in person! At little clubs in San Diego.

    I remember one night when I demanded to drive home, somehow missed the freeway exit, ended up in downtown SD (NOT COOL!) but made it home safely in the end.

    Don’t try this at home, girls and boys :)

  204. 204
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    never mind.

  205. 205
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @dance around in your bones: Oddly, the “Holly and the Italians” impresses more than anything else. I have seen or (stupidly) turned down the opportunity to see the others. Never had the chance with Holly.

    ETA: As far as elitist scum go, have read me at all? I am one of the worst around here.

  206. 206
    Mike J says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Didja see what he said about Russell Brand?

    Former Sex Pistol John Lydon, aka Johnny Rotten, tells Polly Toynbee that comedian Russell Brand’s call for people not to vote is ignorant, flippant and liable to ‘make you all homeless’. Lydon also explains why he’d never vote Conservative, labels Ukip ‘morons’ and calls anarchy a ‘mind game for the middle classes’

  207. 207

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I know the girl who the song was written about : You better tell that girl to shut up, you’d better tell that girl I’ll beat her up!

    here’s the link

    Her husband was some kind of producer in LA. And she got phone calls from ‘some girl’ ….. she used to take me out for samosas in LA, so delicious.

    eta: Why , yes Omnes – I am quite familiar with you rcommentary around these parts! And I find it quite fun .

  208. 208
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Mike J: Lydon is damn near brilliant. Just saying. Yeah, I saw that.

    @dance around in your bones: And you are able to one up me. Damn. Write your memoirs. No threats, no pressure… I just think that is would be fascinating reading…. We can’t have enough of that.

  209. 209

    @Omnes Omnibus: Heh.

    I have so many people tell me that – I think it’s inevitable. Of course, Balloon Juicers would get the first shot at reading my imperfect memoirs. I wish my husband was still around, because he had perfect recall about every fucking thing.

    Oh well. It is what it is.

  210. 210
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @dance around in your bones: I have experiences that involve my ex. Some of them are awesome – they are some of my adventures. If I were to write about them, it has to be me. You, otoh, can write for both of you. I am sure that he would want you to tell his story with yours. How else are people remembered?

  211. 211

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Yeah, you are right. But we used to say that we’d have to wait until the statute of limitations runs out – HA!

    Maybe when I’m 80 or so, I won’t give a fuck.

  212. 212
    Steeplejack says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Dude, I still say Yoko Romo ruined you after those early studio tapes and that one live album. Just sayin’.

  213. 213
    Mart says:

    After two dissapointing years of hitting the rich neighbors, we stayed with the middle class and poor. Much better return on investment.

  214. 214
    SWMBO says:

    We give out quarters to the kids. I get about $100 in quarters every year. Last year we gave out over $40. One year we gave out over $80. I don’t give the kids sugar and I don’t eat the leftovers. Since everyone in the house is diabetic, it is a win for everybody.

  215. 215
    Chris says:

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    If poor grad students can afford candy so can this lady.

    It blows my mind how the richer people get, the more miserly they seem to be, but it really shouldn’t. The way they got rich was by never spending a single penny more than they had to on anything but themselves. And conversely, the poor of all people know the value of sharing.

  216. 216
    Chris says:


    Ah, more assholes living on government paychecks bitching about moochers and losers.

  217. 217
    Chris says:

    @dance around in your bones:

    80s was full of my favorite TV shows, too. A-Team, Magnum, MacGyver, Airwolf, just discovered the Equalizer, even Miami Vice for when you’re in a depressed/dark mood (especially if politics are involved).

    And the movies. Star Wars, Indy, Alien, Predator, Terminator, the TOS Star Treks, my favorite James Bond (Dalton).

    Yeah, as much as the politics suck, there’s a lot I love about that decade. (I, of course, got it all on reruns).

  218. 218
    NotMax says:

    Way late on this thread, but an old saying bears repeating:

              Some people are so poor that all they have is money.

  219. 219

    A few years ago Dear Abby got a letter from someone in a rich neighborhood complaining about the gay couple that moved in across the street. The writer asked Abby what they could do to “improve the neighborhood.” Abby replied, “You could move.”

    Same goes here.

  220. 220
  221. 221
    The Moar You Know says:

    I love Emily Yoffe. She is one of the few I read on a daily basis. Rarely wrong.

    I’m wondering if this was a troll, but sadly it’s impossible to tell anymore because lack of self-awareness is the hallmark of the 1%.

    @the Conster: They’re not a troll and it’s not a hallmark of the 1%. I had people in my “lower middle class” (a technical impossibility, because the shittiest house in San Diego costs the same as a for-real mansion in Ohio) neighborhood bitch about all the Mexican kids whose parents would drop them off in “our” neighborhood. People are fucking horrible. We’re talking about forty bucks worth of candy if you’re generous and give out the good stuff.

    The real 1% neighborhood where I live has no sidewalks. You’d get killed walking out there at night. Halloween is not an issue for them because it simply isn’t possible. They also haul their kids into my neighborhood. And I don’t begrudge them their candy either.

  222. 222
    AndoChronic says:

    You’re a good man Charlie Brown.

    From a similar perspective of you and this lady. I live on one of the “good” blocks in my Minneapolis hood and we get kids from all over the greater neighborhood who come here because they know we rock. It also helps that our park does a Halloween party for them too. The kids I deal with are very under privileged and I often give their parents candy too because who doesn’t like candy? A lot of older teens who are too cool to bother with a costume are also happy that I fill their bags after I give them a little shit for being too old to trick or treat. Many also arrive via car, but this neighborhood is so hit and miss with regard to who actually gives out candy that it just makes sense to drive around, plus it’s a safety thing as well.

    Much like your retirees I spend far more than I should each year on candy but if I can put a small dent in some of the dysfunction and make someone a little happier for a night, so be it. I consider it an investment not charity. I also have fun too so maybe I’m just trying to rationalize my spending!

    Maybe this woman should trick or treat in the neighborhoods where she thinks these kids are coming from so she can get a better sense of their lives. Like “A Halloween Carol”.

  223. 223
    lou says:

    I suppose my neighborhood also gets “those people,” but I’m happy to see the all the darling little ones dressed as princesses, witches, monsters and ghosts, Spiderman or whatever comic hero is trending. And you know what? Unlike the ugly stereotype this b—- perpetuates, “those” families and kids are always the most polite. If the little 4 yo forgets in the excitement of getting great candy, mom or auntie is there to remind them to “Say thank you.”

    I like how Prudence called her a cheapskate.

  224. 224
    Julie says:

    @esc: I grew up in military housing. We were ‘those people.’ Wow, just wow.

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

Comments are closed.