In case you haven’t been following Rob Ford’s latest, his biopsy results show a rare, aggressive sarcoma. Never fear, though, because the Ford family subbed Doug for Rob on the mayoral ballot last week after the tumor was discovered. Because of their quick last-minute action, Ford Nation will still be able to vote the deep feelings of their white suburban reactionary hearts.
Doug, who’s more of the backroom dealer than a frontman, is considered a weak replacement for Rob, though I wonder how someone who would mark a ballot for Rob would be overly concerned about fitness for the task at hand when evaluating a candidate for mayor. But apparently Ford Nation thinks that Doug lacks the Johnny Walker wisdom of Rob, because a Tory (Progressive Conservative) aptly named John Tory is now leading Doug and the liberal in the race, Olivia Chow.
My secretly Canadian friend tells me that Toronto is an object lesson to all cities contemplating annexation of the suburbs. If he’s right, the Fords are the sour indigestion that remains long after the sweet tax base of tracts has been ingested. I’ll let our beaver tail eating readers weigh in on that in the comments.
As for Rob, everybody rolls with their fingers crossed. If he weren’t at the core a mean, wife-beating, bullying asshole, I might be moved to say something nice about his buffoonery. Instead, all I can say is good riddance.