His cellmate will call him ‘squeaky’

In an otherwise bad month for cops (lord do I not want to do a compilation linkfest) this story is kind of therapeutic.

A Pittsburgh man suspected of sexually assaulting women on a popular jogging lane got more than he bargained for when he tried to strip the pants off a woman who proved to be a United States Marshal on Tuesday, The Patriot-News reports.

According to court documents, Robert Flynn, 19, ran up to the U.S. Marshal, groped her buttocks and pulled down her shorts. The marshal — who is not named, as she was the victim of a sexual assault — pulled up her pants and identified herself, yelling, “Federal marshal! Stop!”

She then asked passersby to call 911 while she pursued Flynn, who was attempting to flee on foot. The marshal caught up with him in a nearby apartment complex, where she cornered him behind a staircase. Flynn “attempted to charge” the marshal, who “feared that [he] was going to assault her again,” so she kicked him in the crotch, grabbed him by the shoulder, then repeatedly punched him in the face.

Someone give her a medal.

***Update***

Seems aprop.

out_of_sight_wanting_to_tussle






100 replies
  1. 1
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    I’m trying really hard to think of a good response to this, and I’m having problems, because yes, this is a kinda therapeutic story after so many stories of truly terrible behavior by law enforcement officers.

  2. 2
    David in NY says:

    What does that headline mean?

  3. 3
    Tokyokie says:

    Raylan Givens would be proud.

  4. 4
    Mnemosyne says:

    @David in NY:

    I think it’s because she kicked him in the crotch while apprehending him. Not a prison rape joke, as far as I can tell.

  5. 5
    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q) says:

    Dude did not know how to pick a target. He now understands what happens when the person you assaulted fights back.

  6. 6
    Linda Featheringill says:

    Hooray!

    @David in NY:
    The headline refers to the idea that he would have a higher voice after his testesterone factories were injured.

  7. 7
    Ruviana says:

    Notice she didn’t need to shoot or even tase him!

  8. 8
    pamelabrown53 says:

    @Tokyokie: Probably, kicking him in the crotch would force his voice to a higher register?!

    Guess this has been answered multiple times…ooops.

  9. 9
    scav says:

    @Ruviana: Yup, even though she “feared that [he] was going to assault her again,”. There will no doubt be cries that this is exactly why wimminz iz unfit for modern policework and why wimminz enable the rape.

  10. 10
    boatboy_srq says:

    Dollars to doughnuts Flynn’s defense will be some fusion of “boys will be boys” and “sluts in short shorts are asking for it anyway”. He may even go so far as to claim that it was all consensual until they noticed they were being watched, and she got freaked out by the voyeur(s).

    Flynn “attempted to charge” the marshal, who “feared that [he] was going to assault her again,” so she kicked him in the crotch, grabbed him by the shoulder, then repeatedly punched him in the face.

    This is the best part. Though (again) Flynn will probably whine and cry about how “she changed her mind”, and his PD will try to file countercharges for assault because she injured the accused and possibly harmed his ability to procreate (though here it’s hard to see why that’s a bad thing).

  11. 11
    Tim F. says:

    @Tokyokie: I think it would please Elmore Leonard in general. cf. JLo in Out of Sight.

  12. 12
    Brian R. says:

    Dear Ferguson Cops,

    This woman took down a perp who actually assaulted her with her own hands and feet. Why are you such fucking pussies?

    Sincerely,
    The World

  13. 13
    Roger Moore says:

    @Ruviana:

    Notice she didn’t need to shoot or even tase him!

    That was exactly what I noticed. She did beat the shit out of him, though, which seems like it’s not something that should be praised unless it was absolutely necessary.

  14. 14
    Tim F. says:

    @boatboy_srq: Betcha they dock him for the bruise to her pinky. Usually that is a bullshit tactic but I’ll support it in this case.

  15. 15
    Cluttered Mind says:

    @Roger Moore: Speaking as a man, I am fully in favor of women beating the shit out of men who try to rape them.

  16. 16
    low-tech cyclist says:

    Maybe what this country needs is more women cops.

  17. 17
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Roger Moore:

    I don’t have a problem with actual self-defense necessary to subdue a suspect. It’s the bullshit claims that the cop had to shoot the guy who was standing 20 feet away with his hands raised that bother me.

  18. 18
    Belafon says:

    @Roger Moore: No telling how many times is “repeatedly”, but she wasn’t carrying a gun with her, so I’m sure she thought she had to incapacitate him.

  19. 19
    Poopyman says:

    @Tim F.: Yeah, the WTAE report says she injured her finger while punching him. Gotta give her props for not letting up.

  20. 20
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Brian R.: Gosh, I guess that’s because she, unlike say Darren Wilson, is not a cowardly sack of shit.

  21. 21
    Monty says:

    @Ruviana: Benefits of being melanin-deficient.

  22. 22
    Tim F. says:

    @Cluttered Mind: Yep. Men who commit sexual assault usually have a long pattern of behavior that just gets reinforced every time they get away with hurting someone. A severe beating by a woman who won’t put up with that shit can break that pattern. If nothing else think of it as a service to the women he would have attacked in the future.

  23. 23
    Poopyman says:

    OT, but what’s up with the Newsmax headlines?

  24. 24
    boatboy_srq says:

    @Cluttered Mind: Speaking as a man, I am fully in favor of victims beating the sh!t out of scumbags who try to rape them. Rape knows no gender-specifics, and heterosexism doesn’t help matters.

    Sorry – but you hit a personal sore spot there.

  25. 25
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Monty:

    That probably didn’t hurt, but the marshall also probably didn’t have a weapon with her. Only an ammosexual would go jogging while carrying a gun.

  26. 26
    Tone In DC says:

    @Brian R.:

    Dear Ferguson Cops,

    This woman took down a perp who actually assaulted her with her own hands and feet. Why are you such fucking racist shitbags?

    Sincerely,
    The World

    FTFY.

  27. 27
    Belafon says:

    @Poopyman: They’re filtered down to the true ones.

  28. 28
    Poopyman says:

    @Tim F.:

    A severe beating by a woman who won’t put up with that shit can break that pattern.

    So will a long term in a confined space with much bigger men than yourself.

  29. 29
    Tim F. says:

    @Poopyman: It feels like they have been there forever. I just ignore them. You can email Cole about it but I think he feels that if Newsmax wants to support this blog then more power to them.

  30. 30
    Belafon says:

    @Tim F.: No, what he means is that the box is empty.

  31. 31
  32. 32
    Tim F. says:

    @Belafon: What, you miss them? I see them ok. Mac, Firefox.

  33. 33
    John Cole +0 says:

    @Tim F.: You completely fail as a blogger. How could you post that story and leave out the absolutely most awesome-est detail ever:

    Police say the victim injured her pinky finger in the struggle.

    She chased him down, kicked him in the junk, repeatedly bludgeoned him in the head and neck, and her only injury was her… pinky.

    That cop rules.

  34. 34
    boatboy_srq says:

    @Tone In DC: WIN.

  35. 35
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Belafon:

    For me, it’s not empty, but the headlines are slightly overrunning the borders of the box. Mac using Safari.

  36. 36
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @boatboy_srq: May I just echo this post. In much longer, more gregarious terms, of course, but yes, I too approve of Tone in DC’s adjustment.

  37. 37
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Mnemosyne: Mine is empty because AdBlocker RULES!

    Much like the Seattle Superchickens.

  38. 38
    raven says:

    @John Cole +0: She did the three minute motherfucker on his azz!

  39. 39
    Mnemosyne says:

    RE: the update

    “You wanted to tussle. We tussled.”

  40. 40
    boatboy_srq says:

    @John Cole +0: That also tells me just what an entitled little pr!ck Flynn was: he thought “she’s hawt” and went for her never dreaming that a [gasp] girl was better at hand-to-hand than he was. I hope she gets him convicted, and gets herself a medal AND a photo op with POTUS.

  41. 41
    trollhattan says:

    Robert Flynn’s social life just took as hard a blow as his junk. “Dude, you did what?!?”

  42. 42
    Belafon says:

    @Mnemosyne: Empty for Windows 7/Firefox.
    @Villago Delenda Est: Some of them are occasionally funny.

  43. 43
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    OK, un AdBlocked BJ reveals just the normal crap from Noisemax, such as Romney Decries Obama Military Cuts, properly spaced and so forth, Chrome running on Win 7.

    The Marquis de Mittens should STFU.

    Well, it’s clear that ISIS is the new boogey man for the hide under the bed crowd that is the Noisemax target audience.

  44. 44
    Shakezula says:

    Weeeeh! This is different because she’s a FEDERAL marshal. Waaah! Big gubbermint broke mah junk!

  45. 45
    CONGRATULATIONS! says:

    I’m trying to find a downside here, and I’m failing. I bet Mr. Groper will think twice before doing it again.

  46. 46
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Shakezula: Yet another WIN!

  47. 47
    Tokyokie says:

    @Mnemosyne:

    That probably didn’t hurt, but the marshall also probably didn’t have a weapon with her. Only an ammosexual would go jogging while carrying a gun.

    Oh, you mean like Gov. Goodhair?
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/.....54397.html

  48. 48
    Tone In DC says:

    @Shakezula:

    This is different because she’s a FEDERAL marshal. Waaah! Big gubbermint broke mah junk!

    LULz.

  49. 49
    SatanicPanic says:

    @John Cole +0: She injured her pinky? In Ferguson that means she should have shot him 6 times

  50. 50
    What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us? says:

    Reminds me of this hilarious Key and Peele spoof of Baby It’s Cold Outside

  51. 51
    stibbert says:

    Squeaky guy did a really poor job selecting his victim – I’d imagine he could be facing a federal rap for assaulting a US Marshal. & w/ any luck, his arrest will solve some outstanding cases & add to his probs.

  52. 52
    Tommy says:

    Pretty sure that dude did not expect that to happen. US Marshal.

  53. 53
    Roger Moore says:

    @Mnemosyne:
    Earlier in the morning it had some test messages. I guess they changed their format slightly. Before, it wouldn’t all fit into the box vertically, so the top headline would often be cut off. Now it looks as if they’ve forced the text not to wrap, so it no longer overflows vertically, but it may be cut off on the right.

  54. 54
    hitchhiker says:

    As others have noted, you left out the best line of the story, which I can only imagine gave the writer much joy:

    The marshal hurt her pinky finger in the fight, but was treated and quickly released from Pittsburgh’s Mercy Hospital that same night.

    Hahahahaha.

  55. 55
    Tommy says:

    @Roger Moore: I want to be careful here. But been a WordPress developer for six plus years. It is a pretty straightforward app to deal with. I see and hear problems here and it shouldn’t be a problem.

  56. 56
    Poopyman says:

    @Belafon: Ah well. Fixed now, sadly.

  57. 57
    David in NY says:

    @Poopyman: OK, the title wasn’t a prison rape joke (as folks above explained), but that was. Not funny or appropriate. Pretty much like the 2nd Amendmenters saying she should’ve shot him. Stupid and mean.

  58. 58
    Suzanne says:

    Oh fuck yes. This made my damn day.

  59. 59
    big ole hound says:

    @Roger Moore: Betcha she doesn’t carry handcuffs while jogging so the only way to keep him for the local cops was to nail him in the nuts.

  60. 60
    YellowJournalism says:

    @Mnemosyne: Before I even saw that picture, this was the first thing to cross my mind while reading the artivcle.

  61. 61
    sjrea says:

    I don’t have a problem with feeling some satisfaction about this story, but i can’t be the only one to see parallels to the Fergusson case.

    When it’s “our” team beating the hell out of an alleged bad guy and giving sketchy reasons (in this case, identical claims, e.g. i was chasing him and then suddenly he was charging me and i feared for my safety) we applaud with glee, but when it’s “our” team on the receiving end of violence we are quick to shout “police brutality”.

    I will never understand how these contradictory impulses don’t trouble some of you folks..

  62. 62
    boatboy_srq says:

    @Villago Delenda Est: I concur.

  63. 63
    Paul in KY says:

    @Cluttered Mind: I concur!

  64. 64
    burnspbesq says:

    @Roger Moore:

    She did beat the shit out of him,

    I don’t think the linked article provides enough detail to judge whether the force used was excessive.

  65. 65
    Paul in KY says:

    @David in NY: Dave, please get that stick out. Some people deserve to be physically whupped at times (and this is by the intended victim). Enjoy it!

  66. 66
    Cervantes says:

    @boatboy_srq:

    I come.

    @Paul in KY:

    I see.

  67. 67
    boatboy_srq says:

    @Cervantes: That’s just wrong.

  68. 68
    shelley says:

    Hope there was a face punch for every other woman he’s assaulted.

  69. 69
    ShadeTail says:

    @Paul in KY: Laughing that he got beat up for assaulting someone tougher than he is? Yes, no problem there. Suggesting that he should get raped because of it? No, huge problem there. That is not something to joke about, ever. Nobody deserves to get raped, no matter what kind of scum they are.

    Having said that, I’m not sure Dave interpreted that comment correctly, and I’m willing to give it the benefit of the doubt. But the dislike of prison rape jokes, in and of itself, has my full agreement.

  70. 70
    Tim F. says:

    @ShadeTail: I think Paul was implying that the bigger people would beat him up. Rapists rank pretty low in prison, one notch above people who harm children. They get beaten up a lot.

  71. 71
    ShadeTail says:

    @Tim F.: I edited my comment to add that second paragraph before I saw yours pop up. Sorry about accidentally stepping on your foot there. :)

    Anyway, I hope that’s what Paul meant. I understand why Dave took it differently, though.

  72. 72
    Botsplainer says:

    @sjrea:

    When it’s “our” team beating the hell out of an alleged bad guy and giving sketchy reasons (in this case, identical claims, e.g. i was chasing him and then suddenly he was charging me and i feared for my safety) we applaud with glee, but when it’s “our” team on the receiving end of violence we are quick to shout “police brutality”.

    She’s the victim. A victim beating the living shit out of a would-be sex perp at the time of the attempt is a wonderful deterrent to other would-be sex perps, and my “give-a-fuck” meter doesn’t even register at all when the victim administers a thorough ass-kicking.

    He’s lucky to be alive.

    Retire your Mumia sweatshirt, please.

  73. 73
    chopper says:

    @Botsplainer:

    Retire your Mumia sweatshirt, please.

    But it’s so comfy and warm!

  74. 74
    Botsplainer says:

    @Tim F.:

    Rapists rank pretty low in prison, one notch above people who harm children.

    Locally, a recent drive-by went real bad – the morons targeted the wrong house and killed a 1 year old infant that wasn’t the kid of any of the warring crews. Apparently, everybody in the can is now gunning for the guys who got caught, and their laundry is coming to them marked, so they can be identified. From what I understand, at least one of them lost his shit in court over the threats and ass-kickings, and was begging for the judge to do something to help them out, but the judge’s “give-a-fuck” meter was busted.

    As I heard it, the guy’s own crew is out for him, too – lots and lots of bad blood on this one.

  75. 75
    Mnemosyne says:

    @sjrea:

    So you think that the marshal is lying about having been sexually assaulted? That’s a pretty serious charge to make.

    ETA: The issue with Ferguson is that Michael Brown wasn’t doing anything wrong when he was shot. There’s a difference between chasing down and subduing a suspect who actually committed a crime and shooting someone for walking in the street instead of on the sidewalk. I really hope you can understand the difference between the two.

  76. 76
    Botsplainer says:

    @Mnemosyne:

    So you think that the marshal is lying about having been sexually assaulted? That’s a pretty serious charge to make.

    I think the expectation is that she was supposed to sit and wait for the local PD so she could make a report of the crime and get into some trauma counseling. It isn’t civilized to have victims crush their enemies, see them driven before them or hear the lamentations of their women.

    The handwringing attitude is what invites hyperaggressive, militaristic backlash.

  77. 77
    jibeaux says:

    @sjrea: your concern is noted.

  78. 78
    boatboy_srq says:

    @sjrea: … so, to square this for you, the US marshal should have just closed her eyes and thought of Ahmurrcah. Got it. Nothing like lying back and accepting being a victim because Violence Is Always Wrong.

    Next you’ll tell us that her jogging shorts were provocative, and she shouldn’t have worn them (out jogging, duh) if she didn’t want to be accosted.

    I sure hope you’re not a rape counselor.

  79. 79
    ShadeTail says:

    @boatboy_srq: Ease up on the strawman fallacy. sjrea’s comment was laughably wrong, but it did not say anything close to that.

  80. 80
    Paul in KY says:

    @ShadeTail: I’m talking about the lady whupping his ass.

  81. 81
    Paul in KY says:

    @Tim F.: I was only talking about how funny it was that he tries to victimize Person A, and Person A beats the crap out of him. That Person A is a woman, makes it even funnier.

  82. 82
    cckids says:

    This reminds me of a story from the 2004 ?? Olympics. A man broke into the room of a female Olympic fencer. She woke up, grabbed her sword & attacked him; he was caught. My favorite part of the story was the last line:

    “The suspect was treated at a local hospital for scratches, bruising and shock”.

    Picked the wrong target, he did.

  83. 83
    Omnissiah says:

    @boatboy_srq:

    This has to be some sort of record for the most strawmen ever in a single post. Good job.

  84. 84
    gogol's wife says:

    @Tim F.:

    Love that scene. She did it so well.

  85. 85
    Gravenstone says:

    @sjrea: Yeah, because using non-lethal physical force is EXACTLY the same as emptying a 10 round magazine into a surrendered suspect (and environs).

  86. 86
    Another Holocene Human (now with new computer) says:

    @Mnemosyne: Don’t tell that to the ammosexuals posting s0ft pr0|\| of scantily clad models with pistols held in suggestive poses (never knew that many people were into Dirty Pair cosplay, didja?)

    A tough woman trained in martial arts? Piss yourself.

  87. 87
    Another Holocene Human (now with new computer) says:

    I once had a professor who in a former life had done something similar to a mugger in Philadelphia after immigrating to the US following her stint in the IDF and college where she’d written her final exams using male gendered verbs.

    The guy threatened her with a knife, she put him in a headlock and gave him a choice of a quick death or running away. She was a short woman, dude probably thought she was easy pickings. Now that’s a BAMF.

  88. 88
    Another Holocene Human (now with new computer) says:

    @Poopyman:

    So will a long term in a confined space with much bigger men than yourself.

    Bullshit and you know it. “South Carolina’s Worst Serial Killer” had an anti-social disorder prior to going into prison, but he really ramped up the anger, hatred, and depraved indifference to human life after being made a “punk” in state prison as a young man.

    I see that a Pee Wee Gaskins docu, “The Meanest Man In America” is posted multiple times to Youtube (British narrator) but I think he was also featured on another one of those crime shows where they interviewed his daughter.

  89. 89
    boatboy_srq says:

    @ShadeTail: Anyone who suggests that a potential rape victim using violence in self-defense and (in this case especially since she is a law enforcement professional) to bring the rapist to justice is somehow inappropriate, and uses “‘Cops Kill Black Kid = Bad,’ but ‘Cop Thwarts Rapist Trying To Rape Said Cop By Beating Him Up = Good’ really needs rethinking” as the logic for that, deserves all the scorn we can heap on. sjrea compared this to Ferguson, and stated outright that celebrating a victim fighting back was wrong because Ferguson. That don’t wash.

    Rape is a horrible, humiliating event. Anyone who can fend off a rape is a hero in my book (I couldn’t and I’m still dealing with it 20-odd years later, so I have real respect for anyone that can). And our unnamed US Marshal not only did that, but she probably brought a serial rapist (judging solely from the published information and the circumstances of the attack, so I could be wrong here but strongly doubt that) to justice in a highly effective way – while still leaving the guy alive for trial. Suggesting that isn’t worthy of celebration because Black People Are Getting Shot By Cops doesn’t just say that our delight is misplaced – it’s says that the Marshal’s behavior was wrong as well, and under the circumstances there were only three options: submit (wrong choice), flee (and find some [male] policeman who will [possibly] believe the story to defend her, which has odious overtones all its own) or fight. Please explain to me why either of the other two options is in any way acceptable.

    Sorry, but while this is an excellent story, and Flynn deserves all the scorn we can heap on him for being both a dumb fvck as well as a rapist, it still touches a bunch of sore points – and suggesting that doing what’s necessary as a law enforcement professional (never mind as a human being) shouldn’t be celebrated because somewhere-other-cops-are-doing-bad-things is thoroughly offensive. The only person who’s holding up a double standard here is sjrea, and by doing so s/he’s victim blaming just as much as anything else, because without a victim who fought back there wouldn’t be the story to celebrate.

  90. 90
    Poopyman says:

    @David in NY: I’m pretty sure the majority of inmate-on-inmate assaults are not sexual.

  91. 91
    Another Holocene Human (now with new computer) says:

    @Botsplainer: Wow, today’s gangbangers are a lot more thoughtful and discerning than my generation’s gangbangers. Nine year old gun downed at the park? No worries, I’ll kill the witnesses.

    I do subscribe to Kevin Drum’s Plumbum theory of criminology. It’s a plausible, testable first order explanation for what we’ve all been through.

  92. 92
    Mnemosyne says:

    @ShadeTail:

    What boatboy_srq said, but also I think that sjrea misunderstands the basic appeal of this story. It’s not “cop beats up suspect.” It’s “dumb criminal picks the wrong victim and goes to jail for it.” Simply put, this story would have been equally appealing if the victim had turned out to be an MMA fighter who subdued and held the suspect for police. Which is another reason why the Ferguson comparison is way off-base.

  93. 93
    cokane says:

    All accomplished without having to shoot him, not even once. Amazing.

  94. 94
    ShadeTail says:

    @boatboy_srq: No matter how you feel about that, the fact remains that you *COMPLETELY* misrepresented sjrea’s post. Comparing this lady’s non-leathal apprehension of her assailant with the Ferguson murder of Mike Brown is, indeed, amazingly dumb. But at no point in that post did sjrea victim-blame or excuse rape in any way. You are simply making that up and putting those words in sjrea’s mouth.

    =====

    @Mnemosyne: Of course the Ferguson comparison was dumb. I said so quite clearly. The problem is that boatboy_srq blatantly misrepresented sjrea’s post by accusing sjrea of saying things that clearly weren’t said.

  95. 95
    Arclite says:

    @Roger Moore:

    That was exactly what I noticed. She did beat the shit out of him, though, which seems like it’s not something that should be praised unless it was absolutely necessary.

    Seems like it was necessary. A rare case where the roughing up a perp who was resisting arrest is truly justified.

  96. 96
    Arclite says:

    Between attacking the jogger, and attacking the Olympian, I really don’t understand their stupidity. Predators in the wild are smarter than this: they go after the weakest in the herd, not the strongest, most physically fit.

  97. 97
    boatboy_srq says:

    @ShadeTail: Let me try this again, then. In simpler terms.

    Saying that a victim successfully defending against an attack is not worthy of celebration is saying that the victim should not have fought back.

    Saying that celebrating a victim successfully defending against an attack, while condemning a jackbooted thug stomping all over civilians because because of their race, is a double standard because the victim and the thug both have badges and police brutality is police brutality regardless of the circumstances, is just plain offensive.

    It’s that simple.

  98. 98
    JR in WV says:

    @Omnissiah:

    No no, no. No strawmen in Boatboy’s post. Maybe in the post he was responding to.

    I am all over an aggressor being beat up by his intended victim, and huge props to the US Marshall who captured that POS who attacked you. When you attack someone with no conceivable justification, you give up all right to not get hurt as you are subdued by your victim or the police when they run your lame ass down.

    With the possible exception of kneeling to surrender when they catch up to you, which I don’t think this POS could havr brought himself to do to a woman under any circumstances at that point in his life.

    Again, Props to the Marshall for taking this Piece of Excrement into custody in a necessarily forceful manner.

  99. 99
    JR in WV says:

    @ShadeTail:

    sjrea or whatever his nym is accused boatboy of erecting strawmen in his remarks. That was wrong and is indefensible, So STFU about boatboy’s excellent remarks.

  100. 100
    KS in MA says:

    @low-tech cyclist:

    …And/or more men cops who are as smart as women, of course.

Comments are closed.