The Greatest ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

Confederate Flag- check
American Flag vest- check
Flask of whiskey- check
Drunken southern drawl- check
Fire- check

All this needs is a pick-em-up truck, some chewing tobacco, and a shotgun, and this would be the perfect video.

(via Wonkette)

73 replies
  1. 1
    Poopyman says:

    Darwin wept.

  2. 2
    PurpleGirl says:

    He could’ve been a Darwin Award contender.

  3. 3
    Professor says:

    Christ on a bike, does this American have a vote? Do you allow this idiot to vote? Unbelievable.

  4. 4
    NotMax says:

    No intelligent life forms were harmed (or indeed present) during the making of this video.

  5. 5
    JPL says:

    The sad thing is that he published it online. It was not hacked.

  6. 6
    max says:

    @PurpleGirl: He could’ve been a Darwin Award contender.

    Too clueless to be dumb enough to manage to immolate himself.

    max
    [‘Sad.’]

    ETA: Come to think of it, maybe he’s just a reenactor! He’s reenacting the Southern side of the Civil War! Yeah! It’s performance art! It’s all a metaphor for slavery and the defense thereof! Yeah!

  7. 7
    MattF says:

    Now where is that AK-47 when you need it?

  8. 8
    MobiusKlein says:

    So do I go to heaven if my fondest wish was for the flag to catch on fire too, and immolate him with it?

  9. 9
    efgoldman says:

    Even my grade-A snark fails me.

  10. 10
    Violet says:

    He’d be a genius in Idiocracy.

  11. 11
    Kerry Reid says:

    “Dude, my hair’s fucked up!”

    Um, I think maybe the problem might be below the follicles, sir.

  12. 12
    Baud says:

    That it took almost 5 years to defeat the Confederacy is a stain on the Union side.

  13. 13
    Poopyman says:

    @Baud: Blame the generals. Lincoln was trying to get their asses moving, to little avail.

  14. 14
    MattF says:

    So, the lesson here is “Brylcreem is flammable.”

  15. 15
    Suffern ACE says:

    So, while President Obama has spent Labor Day weekend raising money for Democrats, is it any wonder why some lawmakers and political analysts, including Red State’s Erick Erickson are asking: “Can we borrow David Cameron?”

    My memory serves me poorly these days. But the last time the press was all hot and bothered about how David Cameron is a man of unique vision and action, we got involved in Libya. A war which still doesn’t make any sense, that is deeply unpopular, that has spiraled out of control.

  16. 16
    gbear says:

    Needs moar M-80s.

  17. 17
    Dog On Porch says:

    Someone once said that Jerry Lee Lewis epitomized everything America fears about the white southern male. But Jerry Lee was blessed with a supreme talent that he made the most of, and his music did more to further civil rights advances than all the Billy Graham crusader rabbit rallies combined. Rather, it’s always been Jethro’s like that clown that disturb the sensibilities of non-southerners. And that, if only because it seems you can’t swing a dead cat down there without hitting one and all his kinfolk.

  18. 18
    The Lodger says:

    @Dog On Porch: And his girlfriend. Oh, wait…

  19. 19
    the Conster says:

    Get a brain, moran.

  20. 20
    geg6 says:

    Jeebus. What a moran.

  21. 21
    FlipYrWhig says:

    So this seems like it was deliberately stupid/playing to caricature–the initial dialogue is very rehearsed and not natural IMHO–but it got stupider in the doing when the flaming bandanna didn’t go out from the dousing with water. Right?

  22. 22
    The Dangerman says:

    Michael Jackson, is that you?

  23. 23
    Steeplejack says:

    @Cole:

    All this needs is a pick-em-up truck, some chewing tobacco, and a shotgun, and this would be the perfect video.

    Maybe an explicit “Now watch this!” as the cherry on the sundae.

  24. 24

    Saw something somewhere (found it, it’s Gawker, ‘natch) about a person doing the challenge and nearly drowning because their “bucket” was a firefighting plane.

    Can we just stop doing this stupid ALS shit, please?

  25. 25
    Uncle Cosmo says:

    “Dude, my hair’s fucked up!” Jeebus Cripes, nimrod, be glad you didn’t double down on the Brylcreem beforehand or the local hospital would be peeling skin off your wrinkled redneck arse to patch over top your pointy flambeed skull…

  26. 26
    shelley says:

    All this needs is a pick-em-up truck, some chewing tobacco, and a shotgun,

    Shotgun? You need a whole gun-rack for the back window. And don’t forget the nudie-girl mud flaps.

  27. 27
    Poopyman says:

    @The Dangerman: Too soon, man.

  28. 28
    Dog On Porch says:

    @Southern Beale: @FlipYrWhig: Right. It was a liberal plot to undermine America’s perception of white southern males, and/or a plot to reinforce such perception. Got it.

  29. 29
    shelley says:

    OMG, I posted that above before watching the video. What the fu….???

    He ends with saying ‘Dude, my hair’s fucked up!” Your hair? The way that fire was going, he’s lucky his face didn’t melt down like those Nazi’s at the end of ‘Raiders Of The Lost Ark.’

  30. 30
    skerry says:

    A man in Texas (natch) dumped ice water on his 10 month old grandchild. He’s been reported to Child Protective Services by the child’s father (who is in a nasty divorce with the mother).

  31. 31

    This needed a gun of some kind to be truly classic.

  32. 32
    cmorenc says:

    Alas, there’s an inexhaustible supply of redneck goobers even more flamboyantly stupid than the dude that set his hair on fire doing the ice-bucket challenge.

    For example, there’s Diamon Dave – Kung Fu Hillbilly – assisted by his girlfriend, who appears in the clip and adds to the um, ambience.

  33. 33
    Dog On Porch says:

    “I believe all Southern liberals come from the same starting point — race. Once you figure out they are lying to you about race, you start to question everything”.

    Molly Ivins (RIP) of Texas

  34. 34
    dexwood says:

    Don’t forget the dog and the train.

  35. 35
    cmorenc says:

    WADR to the dude who set his hair on fire doing the ice bucket challenge, he’s got some serious competition for extinction-level doofosity. For example, there’s Diamon Dave – Kung Fu Hillbilly. Imagine having Dave in your corner in a bar fight.

  36. 36
    dexwood says:

    @Steeplejack:
    Hold my beer comes first.

  37. 37
    raven says:

    Miami with green helmets???

  38. 38
    shelley says:

    Dying to know what accellerent he put on that head scarf to have it go up so spectacularly. And the dumped water only made it worse.

  39. 39

    @dexwood:

    Hold my beer comes first.

    Brilliant!

  40. 40
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    As someone who volunteered as a 2LT for a dunk tank for some charity drive, and half of my platoon eagerly forked over their hard earned money for a chance to send the LT into the cold water, I think ice bucket challenges can be fun and raise fund for worthy causes.

    Even the pie in the face thing (which I also did at a charity auction) can be a good thing.

    However, this guy is, as others before me have pointed out, a moran.

  41. 41
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    You forgot “prison”, “trains”, and his Mama, then it would be the perfect video.

  42. 42
    raven says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: Talked to my guy today, 90% blockage on the coil, dog hair mostly. That accounts for the 15 minutes.

  43. 43
    trollhattan says:

    I give you Bruno Brokken.

    Remember, kids: water not compressible.

  44. 44
    Dog On Porch says:

    @Villago Delenda Est: One of my proudest moments as a kid came when my years of playing baseball paid off one night at a carnival in Salem, Oregon. “Hit the button with a baseball, and dunk a coach”. I was maybe 12, but had played BB for seven years (sandlot & little league). The guy no sooner took his seat again than I dunked him again. It was a blast.

  45. 45
    Scamp Dog says:

    I hope the upcoming godson proves to be as photogenic as his predecessor. Who we haven’t seen pictures of in some time, come to think of it. Baby pics are a valid alternative to pet pics!

  46. 46
    raven says:

    @Villago Delenda Est: Ever see “Carny” with Jodie Foster, Gary Busey and Robbie Roberston?

    Gary Busey – Dunk Tank Clow

    And Elisha Cook Jr.

  47. 47
    SFAW says:

    Maybe my ears need rebooting, but idiot’s accent didn’t sound like a “Southern drawl,” unless you’re talking about South Dakota. And there are plenty of Northern assholes who proudly wave the Stars’n’Bars.

    @Professor:

    Christ on a bike, does this American have a vote?

    What kind of question is that? He’s white, ain’t he? If he were darker (and I don’t mean “tanned”), then you could keep him from voting.

  48. 48
    raven says:

    @SFAW: Yep, heard that right away.

  49. 49
    SFAW says:

    @raven:

    Thanks, thought I might be hallucinatin’ or something. (Well, I am, but not regarding that, I guess.)

  50. 50
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    @raven: Figures…

  51. 51
    FlipYrWhig says:

    @Dog On Porch: Nothing to do with liberal. He just looks like he wanted to do “pretend dumbass” but had the misfortune of coming out more like “actual dumbass.”

    Reminiscent of the guy who occasioned the clip shown here: Meet The Blowtorch-Carrying Gay Marriage Opponent Who Set That General Mills Lawn On Fire.

  52. 52
    raven says:

    @SFAW: When you’ve lived down here for 30 years you get pretty good at tellin what’s what.

  53. 53
    SFAW says:

    @raven:

    When you’ve lived down here for 30 years

    The most amazing thing about that is that you’re still rational.

  54. 54
    am says:

    redneck’s last words: “Check this sh*t out”

  55. 55
    raven says:

    @SFAW: I can go to the bait shop and they never know I’m a Yankee.

    eta There’s plenty of folks here that wouldn’t agree with you characterization!

  56. 56
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    @SFAW: Says who? Now I’m wondering about you…

  57. 57
    Dog On Porch says:

    @FlipYrWhig: I lean towards the “actual dumb ass” side myself. And, of course, the original Jethro Bodine was none other than the son of the great heavyweight and good guy, Max Baer.

  58. 58
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @raven: That’s good infiltration!

  59. 59
    raven says:

    @Villago Delenda Est: Specially when your gettin cawtaba/catalpa worms n’ minners.

  60. 60
  61. 61
    Seth says:

    “Dude, my hair’s messed up.”

    What about your brain the allowed this to happen in the first place? Your hair is the least of your concerns.

  62. 62
    maya says:

    If only William Tecumseh Sherman had access to the same accelerant.

  63. 63
    AndoChronic says:

    The best question a redneck could ever ask is. ” ‘Ya all know what would be a great idea?”

  64. 64

    “The South is gonna rise a… STOP, DROP, AND ROLL, EARL!”

  65. 65
    PurpleGirl says:

    Nothing can excuse the moron.

    And while the ice-bucket challenge has become over-the-top at this point, the initial stage of it has been an exceedingly good fundraiser for the ALS Foundation. From the increased awareness of ALS, the Foundation has raised something like 2000% more this year than any time in the past. Don’t know what they can do to keep interest up in helping them, though. And I hope that other organizations do not try to repeat this campaign. (I still think David Gerrold’s use of a bucket of Tribbles was the most fun I’ve seen.)

  66. 66
    Mnemosyne says:

    @PurpleGirl:

    I’m really surprised by how far it’s spread among ordinary people, honestly. There are people at my office who have done it and challenged their friends to do it. I haven’t been challenged yet, but would either write the check or have something else dumped (a bucket of yarn, perhaps?)

  67. 67
    brantl says:

    A flare gun fired at his head, to light it all off, would have been perfect.

  68. 68
    HeartlandLiberal says:

    Q. What are a Redneck’s last words??

    A. Hey, Bubba, watch this!!

  69. 69
    SFAW says:

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    Present company excepted, of course.

  70. 70
    Chet says:

    Some folk’ll never burn their heads, but then again, some folk’ll…

  71. 71
    daryljfontaine says:

    The only way that could have been better is if he’d somehow managed to catch the traitors’ flag on fire as well.

    D

  72. 72
    Paul in KY says:

    @cmorenc: I think that’s a well rehearsed act.

  73. 73
    gragor says:

    Your video was taken down so here is one with pick-em-up truck, some chewing tobacco, and a shotgun.

    Redneck Ice bucket challenge
    T-Bird does the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge ‘Murica style
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUmX3CGl3sc

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