Confederate Flag- check
American Flag vest- check
Flask of whiskey- check
Drunken southern drawl- check
Fire- check
All this needs is a pick-em-up truck, some chewing tobacco, and a shotgun, and this would be the perfect video.
(via Wonkette)
by John Cole| 72 Comments
This post is in: Bring on the Brawndo!, Clown Shoes
Confederate Flag- check
American Flag vest- check
Flask of whiskey- check
Drunken southern drawl- check
Fire- check
All this needs is a pick-em-up truck, some chewing tobacco, and a shotgun, and this would be the perfect video.
(via Wonkette)
Comments are closed.
Poopyman
Darwin wept.
PurpleGirl
He could’ve been a Darwin Award contender.
Professor
Christ on a bike, does this American have a vote? Do you allow this idiot to vote? Unbelievable.
NotMax
No intelligent life forms were harmed (or indeed present) during the making of this video.
JPL
The sad thing is that he published it online. It was not hacked.
max
@PurpleGirl: He could’ve been a Darwin Award contender.
Too clueless to be dumb enough to manage to immolate himself.
max
[‘Sad.’]
ETA: Come to think of it, maybe he’s just a reenactor! He’s reenacting the Southern side of the Civil War! Yeah! It’s performance art! It’s all a metaphor for slavery and the defense thereof! Yeah!
MattF
Now where is that AK-47 when you need it?
MobiusKlein
So do I go to heaven if my fondest wish was for the flag to catch on fire too, and immolate him with it?
Violet
He’d be a genius in Idiocracy.
Kerry Reid
“Dude, my hair’s fucked up!”
Um, I think maybe the problem might be below the follicles, sir.
Baud
That it took almost 5 years to defeat the Confederacy is a stain on the Union side.
Poopyman
@Baud: Blame the generals. Lincoln was trying to get their asses moving, to little avail.
MattF
So, the lesson here is “Brylcreem is flammable.”
Suffern ACE
My memory serves me poorly these days. But the last time the press was all hot and bothered about how David Cameron is a man of unique vision and action, we got involved in Libya. A war which still doesn’t make any sense, that is deeply unpopular, that has spiraled out of control.
gbear
Needs moar M-80s.
Dog On Porch
Someone once said that Jerry Lee Lewis epitomized everything America fears about the white southern male. But Jerry Lee was blessed with a supreme talent that he made the most of, and his music did more to further civil rights advances than all the Billy Graham crusader rabbit rallies combined. Rather, it’s always been Jethro’s like that clown that disturb the sensibilities of non-southerners. And that, if only because it seems you can’t swing a dead cat down there without hitting one and all his kinfolk.
The Lodger
@Dog On Porch: And his girlfriend. Oh, wait…
the Conster
Get a brain, moran.
geg6
Jeebus. What a moran.
FlipYrWhig
So this seems like it was deliberately stupid/playing to caricature–the initial dialogue is very rehearsed and not natural IMHO–but it got stupider in the doing when the flaming bandanna didn’t go out from the dousing with water. Right?
The Dangerman
Michael Jackson, is that you?
Steeplejack
@Cole:
Maybe an explicit “Now watch this!” as the cherry on the sundae.
Southern Beale
Saw something somewhere (found it, it’s Gawker, ‘natch) about a person doing the challenge and nearly drowning because their “bucket” was a firefighting plane.
Can we just stop doing this stupid ALS shit, please?
Uncle Cosmo
“Dude, my hair’s fucked up!” Jeebus Cripes, nimrod, be glad you didn’t double down on the Brylcreem beforehand or the local hospital would be peeling skin off your wrinkled redneck arse to patch over top your pointy flambeed skull…
shelley
Shotgun? You need a whole gun-rack for the back window. And don’t forget the nudie-girl mud flaps.
Poopyman
@The Dangerman: Too soon, man.
Dog On Porch
@Southern Beale: @FlipYrWhig: Right. It was a liberal plot to undermine America’s perception of white southern males, and/or a plot to reinforce such perception. Got it.
shelley
OMG, I posted that above before watching the video. What the fu….???
He ends with saying ‘Dude, my hair’s fucked up!” Your hair? The way that fire was going, he’s lucky his face didn’t melt down like those Nazi’s at the end of ‘Raiders Of The Lost Ark.’
skerry
A man in Texas (natch) dumped ice water on his 10 month old grandchild. He’s been reported to Child Protective Services by the child’s father (who is in a nasty divorce with the mother).
Southern Beale
This needed a gun of some kind to be truly classic.
cmorenc
Alas, there’s an inexhaustible supply of redneck goobers even more flamboyantly stupid than the dude that set his hair on fire doing the ice-bucket challenge.
For example, there’s Diamon Dave – Kung Fu Hillbilly – assisted by his girlfriend, who appears in the clip and adds to the um, ambience.
Dog On Porch
“I believe all Southern liberals come from the same starting point — race. Once you figure out they are lying to you about race, you start to question everything”.
Molly Ivins (RIP) of Texas
dexwood
Don’t forget the dog and the train.
cmorenc
WADR to the dude who set his hair on fire doing the ice bucket challenge, he’s got some serious competition for extinction-level doofosity. For example, there’s Diamon Dave – Kung Fu Hillbilly. Imagine having Dave in your corner in a bar fight.
dexwood
@Steeplejack:
Hold my beer comes first.
raven
Miami with green helmets???
shelley
Dying to know what accellerent he put on that head scarf to have it go up so spectacularly. And the dumped water only made it worse.
Southern Beale
@dexwood:
Brilliant!
Villago Delenda Est
As someone who volunteered as a 2LT for a dunk tank for some charity drive, and half of my platoon eagerly forked over their hard earned money for a chance to send the LT into the cold water, I think ice bucket challenges can be fun and raise fund for worthy causes.
Even the pie in the face thing (which I also did at a charity auction) can be a good thing.
However, this guy is, as others before me have pointed out, a moran.
OzarkHillbilly
You forgot “prison”, “trains”, and his Mama, then it would be the perfect video.
raven
@OzarkHillbilly: Talked to my guy today, 90% blockage on the coil, dog hair mostly. That accounts for the 15 minutes.
trollhattan
I give you Bruno Brokken.
Remember, kids: water not compressible.
Dog On Porch
@Villago Delenda Est: One of my proudest moments as a kid came when my years of playing baseball paid off one night at a carnival in Salem, Oregon. “Hit the button with a baseball, and dunk a coach”. I was maybe 12, but had played BB for seven years (sandlot & little league). The guy no sooner took his seat again than I dunked him again. It was a blast.
Scamp Dog
I hope the upcoming godson proves to be as photogenic as his predecessor. Who we haven’t seen pictures of in some time, come to think of it. Baby pics are a valid alternative to pet pics!
raven
@Villago Delenda Est: Ever see “Carny” with Jodie Foster, Gary Busey and Robbie Roberston?
Gary Busey – Dunk Tank Clow
And Elisha Cook Jr.
SFAW
Maybe my ears need rebooting, but idiot’s accent didn’t sound like a “Southern drawl,” unless you’re talking about South Dakota. And there are plenty of Northern assholes who proudly wave the Stars’n’Bars.
@Professor:
What kind of question is that? He’s white, ain’t he? If he were darker (and I don’t mean “tanned”), then you could keep him from voting.
raven
@SFAW: Yep, heard that right away.
SFAW
@raven:
Thanks, thought I might be hallucinatin’ or something. (Well, I am, but not regarding that, I guess.)
OzarkHillbilly
@raven: Figures…
FlipYrWhig
@Dog On Porch: Nothing to do with liberal. He just looks like he wanted to do “pretend dumbass” but had the misfortune of coming out more like “actual dumbass.”
Reminiscent of the guy who occasioned the clip shown here: Meet The Blowtorch-Carrying Gay Marriage Opponent Who Set That General Mills Lawn On Fire.
raven
@SFAW: When you’ve lived down here for 30 years you get pretty good at tellin what’s what.
SFAW
@raven:
The most amazing thing about that is that you’re still rational.
am
redneck’s last words: “Check this sh*t out”
raven
@SFAW: I can go to the bait shop and they never know I’m a Yankee.
eta There’s plenty of folks here that wouldn’t agree with you characterization!
OzarkHillbilly
@SFAW: Says who? Now I’m wondering about you…
Dog On Porch
@FlipYrWhig: I lean towards the “actual dumb ass” side myself. And, of course, the original Jethro Bodine was none other than the son of the great heavyweight and good guy, Max Baer.
Villago Delenda Est
@raven: That’s good infiltration!
raven
@Villago Delenda Est: Specially when your gettin cawtaba/catalpa worms n’ minners.
AnonPhenom
@Steeplejack:
Yes. My thoughts exactly.
Seth
“Dude, my hair’s messed up.”
What about your brain the allowed this to happen in the first place? Your hair is the least of your concerns.
maya
If only William Tecumseh Sherman had access to the same accelerant.
AndoChronic
The best question a redneck could ever ask is. ” ‘Ya all know what would be a great idea?”
Joseph Nobles
“The South is gonna rise a… STOP, DROP, AND ROLL, EARL!”
PurpleGirl
Nothing can excuse the moron.
And while the ice-bucket challenge has become over-the-top at this point, the initial stage of it has been an exceedingly good fundraiser for the ALS Foundation. From the increased awareness of ALS, the Foundation has raised something like 2000% more this year than any time in the past. Don’t know what they can do to keep interest up in helping them, though. And I hope that other organizations do not try to repeat this campaign. (I still think David Gerrold’s use of a bucket of Tribbles was the most fun I’ve seen.)
Mnemosyne
@PurpleGirl:
I’m really surprised by how far it’s spread among ordinary people, honestly. There are people at my office who have done it and challenged their friends to do it. I haven’t been challenged yet, but would either write the check or have something else dumped (a bucket of yarn, perhaps?)
brantl
A flare gun fired at his head, to light it all off, would have been perfect.
HeartlandLiberal
Q. What are a Redneck’s last words??
A. Hey, Bubba, watch this!!
SFAW
@OzarkHillbilly:
Present company excepted, of course.
Chet
Some folk’ll never burn their heads, but then again, some folk’ll…
daryljfontaine
The only way that could have been better is if he’d somehow managed to catch the traitors’ flag on fire as well.
D
Paul in KY
@cmorenc: I think that’s a well rehearsed act.
gragor
Your video was taken down so here is one with pick-em-up truck, some chewing tobacco, and a shotgun.
Redneck Ice bucket challenge
T-Bird does the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge ‘Murica style
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUmX3CGl3sc