I Suppose That’s One Way of Looking At It

When I saw this, my first thought was that the AP had brought back Karl Rove fan Ron Fournier:

The “suburban” was a nice touch (*WINK* *WINK*).

Another way of looking at it was a distressed young drunk woman who had just been in a car accident was knocking on someone’s door at 4 am, and rather than keep the door locked and call 911, the owner instead opted to open the door and blasted her brains all over “suburban” Detroit with a shotgun. Fortunately the jury took this more seriously than the AP.

Twitter has exploded with the hashtag #APHeadlines:

Our media finds new and interesting ways to fail us every single day.

(via)

91 replies
  1. 1
    Hal says:

    I’m shocked he was found guilty. I was sure this was going to be an acquittal. I have no issues with people defending themselves, but there has to be a line drawn at some point. Shooting first and asking questions later should not be the standard.

  2. 2
    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name) says:

    OTOH, the jury did the right thing in the case and maybe, just maybe, that is worth more than a throwaway line in a rant about the media.

    @Hal: I had very little doubt that he would be found guilty. But then I had little doubt that Zimmerman would be found guilty.

  3. 3
    lamh36 says:

    I tell ya what, twitter can really be annoying alot of the time, but the best thing to come out of it is the emergence of the #BlackTwitter phenomenon.

    Twitter’s 120 character format is actually, the perfect platform for playing “da dozens” and boy when they do, they are biting and hilarious at the same time.

    Being from NOLA, this one may be my fav:

    @skrspooky
    The poor of New Orleans leave their cramped apartments to wait out hurricane in spacious Superdome #APheadlines

  4. 4
    kc says:

    I believe that’s one of the revised AP headlines. First one said something like “Homeowner Convicted of Shooting Drunk Woman on Porch,” which I thought was pretty ugly, even if accurate. The one you posted up there is not nearly that bad, imo, but of course by thenTwitter was on a roll. Hilarious stuff.

  5. 5
    lamh36 says:

    @Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): two things can happen at one time. it’s only when stuff like these hashtags go viral that mainstream notice it, but every since the trial has started, there has been a #RememberRenisha hashtag, and a #JusticeforRenisha hashtag. It’s just that no one other than maybe the denizens of #BlackTwitter noticed or commented much about it until this verdict.

    Rest assured, the verdict is being discussed and appreciated as well

  6. 6
    kc says:

    Dude should have moved to SC. Here, a man went outside and fired wildly at a car (which he said chased his daughter home), and shot his neighbor’s innocent kid instead, who happened to be standing in his own yard at the time. The shooter was indicted, but the SC Supreme Court threw out the indictment based on SC’s Stand Your Ground law.

  7. 7
    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name) says:

    @lamh36:

    Rest assured, the verdict is being discussed and appreciated as well

    I am sure it is. I just think that as much time as we spend lamenting the lack of justice for someone like Trayvon Martin (which we damn well should), it would be good to talk about (not celebrate, an innocent young women is still dead) and note that the justice system worked properly in this case. That’s all.

    And some of those #APHeadlines are gruesomely funny.

  8. 8
    kc says:

    @Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):

    I did see at least one black tweeter expressing exasperation that Twitter was focussing on the AP headline, rather than the acquittal, but I don’t think he’s an official member of Black Twitter.

  9. 9
    kc says:

    @kc:

    Correction, I guess the headline in the post was the original one. The “drunk woman” Tweet followed that.

  10. 10
    Punchy says:

    @kc: I’m gunna take a stab and guess the child was black, since something this gruesome and horrible never made it to the Today Show or the NYT….

  11. 11
    Quaker in a Basement says:

    I don’t see any reason to get upset over the word “suburban.” The shooting happened in Dearborn Heights–suburban Detroit. But yeah, there’s more than a whiff of bias in how some of those tweets are worded.

    Personally, I’m just relieved that the jury affirmed that it’s illegal to shoot black folks just because.

  12. 12
    lamh36 says:

    @kc: lol. there no “official” membership in Black twitter…lol. And I’ve seen alot of tweeters discussing the verdict, it’s just that ever since earlier this year or late last year, all these articles came out about the “Black Twitter” phenomenon and ever since then, it seems like every online blog-like news site, has a “Black twitter” watcher, and when a hastag goes viral or somewhat viral, then they have instant click-bait for an article.

    I haven’t even really seen the hashtag as much as right after the AP tweeted, the primary discussions though it on the verdict itself and the “value” of an African American life to the US justice system

  13. 13
    Cassidy says:

    @Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): Innocent? She was black and drunk and probably sex enjoying slut.

    /wingnut

  14. 14
    kc says:

    At the risk of getting yelled at, I don’t see the problem with this: BREAKING: Suburban Detroit homeowner convicted of second-degree murder in porch shooting. The “Drunk Woman” headline was awful and cruel, but the first one just seems pretty bland and informative.

  15. 15
    kc says:

    @lamh36:

    I was being semi-facetious about the “official” Black Twitter thing, but yeah.

    It’s just another example of the War on White People. How come there’s no White Twitter, hm?

    KIDDING!!

  16. 16

    @kc: He didn’t kill a porch.

  17. 17
    kc says:

    @lamh36:

    The first AP Tweet I saw was the “drunk woman” one – someone tweeted it on my TL, and my jaw just dropped. Seemed incredibly cruel.

  18. 18
    kc says:

    @PhoenixRising:

    True, but I get the impression that John Cole’s anger is not at the crappy headline-ese. The “second-degree murder” does convey, to me at least, that a human was shot to death and not a porch.

  19. 19
    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name) says:

    @Cassidy: More than 20 years ago, my younger brother walked home from a party and found that he couldn’t get the key to fit in the door of my parents’ house so he rang the doorbell a few times to wake up my dad let him in. As it turns out, he was drunk and had gone to the wrong house. The people who lived there called the cops. The cops showed up and were going to give him a ride home, until he got lippy with them; at which point they took him in for disorderly conduct. This was in a nice neighborhood in small city and, needless to say, my brother is white.

    When I first heard about this case, I immediately flashed back to my brother’s situation and how different it was.

  20. 20
    White Trash Liberal says:

    @kc: I think the problem is there’s no names. When George Zimmerman was acquitted the headline wasn’t:

    Suburban Neighborhood Watch Captain Acquitted in Shooting of Youth

    For the community, the victims, and for journalism, the headline should have named names. That headline was filled with code that both reveals and conceals.

  21. 21
    Citizen_X says:

    @kc: Whoa.

    Maybe they’re taking after the USSC, which in Hobby Lobby decided that believing contraceptives caused abortion was enough, even if it was bullshit. So this guy got off because he believed he was shooting somewhere in the vicinity of the “bad” guys (who were…driving?).

  22. 22
    rikyrah says:

    Smiling Young White People Make App for Avoiding Black Neighborhoods
    Sam Biddle

    Today 3:37pm

    Is there any way to keep white people from using computers, before this whole planet is ruined? I ask because the two enterprising white entrepreneurs above just made yet another app for avoiding non-white areas of your town—and it’s really taking off!

    Crain’s reports on SketchFactor, a racist app made for avoiding “sketchy” neighborhoods, which is the term young white people use to describe places where they don’t feel safe because they watched all five seasons of The Wire:

    SketchFactor, the brainchild of co-founders Allison McGuire and Daniel Herrington, is a Manhattan-based navigation app that crowdsources user experiences along with publicly available data to rate the relative “sketchiness” of certain areas in major cities. The app will launch on the iTunes on Friday, capping off a big week for the startup, which was named as a finalist in the NYC BigApps competition.

    According to Ms. McGuire, a Los Angeles native who lives in the West Village, the impetus behind SketchFactor was her experience as a young woman navigating the streets of Washington, D.C., where she worked at a nonprofit.

    […]

    After meeting Mr. Herrington, an electrical engineer who was taken with the SketchFactor idea, the two quit their Washington D.C.-based jobs and decamped to New York City with funding from family and friends.

    As one of the finalists in the BigApps competition, SketchFactor is poised to receive more attention when it launches.

    http://valleywag.gawker.com/sm.....+sambiddle

  23. 23
    efgoldman says:

    @kc:

    Dude should have moved to SC.

    Florida. Should have retired to Florida.

  24. 24
    kc says:

    @White Trash Liberal:

    I get you, but in the Zimmerman case, just about everyone in the country knew the names of the victim and the defendant. Otherwise, the headline might have been just that. This case wasn’t as much of a media sensation.

  25. 25
    kc says:

    @White Trash Liberal:

    I get you, but in the Zimmerman case, just about everyone in the country knew the names of the victim and the defendant. Otherwise, the headline might have been just that. This case wasn’t as much of a media sensation.

  26. 26
    rikyrah says:

    I was shocked at the verdict. it was the right verdict, but I was shocked.

  27. 27
    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q) says:

    @Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):

    OTOH, the jury did the right thing in the case and maybe, just maybe, that is worth more than a throwaway line in a rant about the media.

    It is worth more, in large part because it’s increasingly rare in these kinds of cases. And that’s assuming they even get charged, which again is not often enough for my tastes.

  28. 28
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    POTUS alert: President Obama will address the nation at 9:30. Apparently we have done humanitarian airdrops just in the last hour or so.

  29. 29
    kc says:

    @Citizen_X:

    It’s insanity. Guy just went outside and started shooting.

    He claimed he heard shots fired first, but witness testimony contradicted that. My feeling is, how threatened could he have felt if he went outside?

  30. 30
    Mike J says:

    @White Trash Liberal:

    I think the problem is there’s no names.

    When Zimmerman was on trial half of the media referred to it as the Treyvon Martin trial. Even when they gave names, they still made it the fault of the victim.

  31. 31
    raven says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: MSNBC says they are over.

  32. 32
    rikyrah says:

    Media Alert:

    Black Jesus on the Cartoon Network, tonight at 11 pm EST

  33. 33
    maya says:

    @Citizen_X: South Carolina fired the first rounds against Ft Sumter in 1861. Not one of that state’s legislators was ever held accountable for that. It’s a SC tradition.

  34. 34
    rikyrah says:

    Double Standard: John Walsh Drops Senate Bid As Plagiarist Rand Paul Runs For President
    By: Jason Easley more from Jason Easley
    Thursday, August, 7th, 2014, 5:09 pm

    Democratic Sen. John Walsh (D-MT) was forced to drop his Senate bid due to plagiarism, but serial plagiarist Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) is being touted by the media as a serious 2016 presidential candidate.

    http://www.politicususa.com/20.....ident.html

  35. 35
    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name) says:

    @rikyrah: Our side is capable of feeling shame.

  36. 36
    rikyrah says:

    Why doesn’t Schweitzer step up to the plate and be a team player for the Democrats. He could actually win the Senate Seat…

    I’m getting Russ Feingold quitter vibes from him.

  37. 37
    Botsplainer says:

    Which NFL game is going to quit putting me to sleep?

  38. 38
    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name) says:

    @rikyrah:

    I’m getting Russ Feingold quitter vibes from him.

    In what way was Feingold a quitter?

  39. 39
    Elizabelle says:

    @rikyrah:

    I was glad Walsh decided to forgo the race. His plagiarism was unconscionable, and not blamable on an aide.

    Rand Paul has many problems. That’s another issue. I think Montana deserves a more electable Democratic candidate. Yeah, there are often double standards, but why stick with a flawed candidate?

  40. 40
    Marc says:

    @kc:

    I did see at least one black tweeter expressing exasperation that Twitter was focusing on the AP headline, rather than the acquittal,

    Probably because the shooter wasn’t acquitted?

    Sorry, that was nitpicky. It is a telling Freudian slip, though – we all just assume that the killers in these cases are going to be acquitted.

    But yes, maybe the fact that justice was finally done warrants a little more attention than the AP’s shocking use of “suburban Detroit” to describe a crime that happened in a suburb of Detroit.

  41. 41
    El Caganer says:

    @rikyrah: I’m still convinced he wants to run for President, and is planning on switching teams. Why else has he been cozying up to Republicans?

  42. 42
    Elizabelle says:

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Thanks for the head’s up. CNN has talking heads on — and here’s PBO.

  43. 43
    raven says:

    We did authorized “targeted” air strikes.

  44. 44
    rikyrah says:

    @Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):

    they begged him to go up against Walker and he turned them down twice.

  45. 45
    Elizabelle says:

    He keeps saying ISIL, it sounds like. Interesting.

    And yea PBO for intervening here.

    When we face a situation like we faced on that mountain –with unique capabilities to avoid a massacre — we can act carefully and responsibly to avoid a genocide.

  46. 46
    Suffern ACE says:

    @rikyrah: it’s not really a double standard. Voters in Montana expect their candidates to be honest when they’ve presented themselves as honorable army officers. No one seriously expects Rand Paul to be any more than a shameless, dishonest panderer. So plagiarism doesn’t hurt him in any way.

  47. 47
    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name) says:

    @rikyrah: He would have done no better than Barrett. Feingold is an extremely polarizing figure in Wisconsin. I will also suggest that, having been defeated after 28 years of elected service, he had done his share. Also, I don’t think that Feingold (who I like) is well suited to an executive position. He wasn’t the guy. He knew it, so he said no.

  48. 48
    Elizabelle says:

    God and the Flying Spaghetti Monster bless President Obama.

  49. 49
    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name) says:

    Genocide was the big word.

  50. 50
    gian says:

    @rikyrah:

    Reminded of this
    Ah heck. Can’t cut and paste
    It would be a link to the Wikipedia on the “negro motorist green book”

  51. 51
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Elizabelle:

    I love the way, whenever he announces a policy or an action, he frames it in terms of “this is what our country is all about. This is the kind of people we are.” He always invokes our higher selves.

  52. 52
    Elizabelle says:

    @Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):

    Yes. And I am so glad he reminded his fellow citizens what was at stake.

    Well done.

  53. 53
    Elizabelle says:

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Me too. It inspires you and me and probably infuriates the smaller minds that lodge at Fox.

  54. 54
    some guy says:

    Obama used the word genocide? What else did he say about Gaza?

  55. 55
    JCT says:

    Boy am I relieved by that verdict – the facts that came out were damming for the shooter, but you never know, “Castle Doctrine” and all that.

    Apparently both the front and side doors of his home were steel-reinforced – all that jackass had to do is stay in place and call the police. Instead he throws the door open and shoots her in the face.

    Sickening.

  56. 56
    raven says:

    @some guy: He said fuck you. . .oh, sorry, that was me.

  57. 57
    Elizabelle says:

    @some guy:

    I’m upset about the murders in Gaza too. That is Netanyahu’s doing. He has brought his country shame, even if they don’t see it yet.

    How else has Obama failed you today? Do tell.

  58. 58
    Elizabelle says:

    @raven:

    Well I’m laughing.

  59. 59
    Mike in NC says:

    Maybe the next time Dubya sobers up we can send him to Iraq to hand out blankets and bottles of water.

  60. 60
    some guy says:

    @Elizabelle:
    So Saudi funded theocrats killing Yazidi is genocidal. American funded theocrats killing Palestinians is not.

    Some American foreign policy choices never change.

  61. 61
    some guy says:

    @raven:
    Thanks for the offer but bestiality is not my thing

  62. 62
    Elizabelle says:

    The NYTimes got their headline right:

    Man Guilty of Murdering Woman at His Front Door

    That is it.

  63. 63
    Botsplainer says:

    Bored. The NFL is putting me to sleep, some guy is really not doing a good enough job of purity trolling/Jew hate, Mandalay isn’t here to excuse conservatives and I haven’t seen a Cassidy/Corner Stone argument in a dog’s age.

    Plus, it’s a solid hour until Black Jesus.

  64. 64
    Mnemosyne says:

    @gian:

    Link.

    They’re doing an exhibition about Route 66 at the Autry National Center here in Los Angeles and it includes a copy of the Green Book. I had never seen one before.

  65. 65
    SteveinSC says:

    That asshole Fournier is loose again showing up on the TV like he’s changed his stripes. Fucking flamer: AP “bodyguard of lies.”

    And by the way, I’m all in with Obama bombing the fucking “do-Jesus” out of those Moslem sons-of-bitches slaughtering minority civilians in Iraq. Napalm the fuckers.

  66. 66
    efgoldman says:

    @Botsplainer:

    Which NFL game is going to quit putting me to sleep?

    There are no NFL games this month.
    There are practices with guys wearing different color jerseys, most of whom will never actually play a down in the NFL.
    That the league charges full price for these practices, and makes them mandatory purchases for season ticket holders, is another sign of it’s 1% arrogance.

  67. 67
    eemom says:

    @some guy:

    In case it wasn’t obvious already, your comment earlier:

    ISIS is a Saudi project, let them clean up their mess

    proves that you don’t actually give a shit about any actual human suffering taking place, whether in Gaza or Iraq. You’re invested in your idiot ass rants. That’s all.

  68. 68
    askew says:

    @eemom:

    Yep, all he cares about is proving that Obama is evil. If Obama intervened in Gaza, he’d be bitching about Iraq. Some people are more interested in being right than in actual outcomes. Personally, I am happy that lots of innocent people won’t die and wish we could do more.

  69. 69
    Schlemizel says:

    Well I’ve seen travelin’ many ways
    I’ve traveled in cars and old subways
    But in Birmingham some people chose
    To fly down the street from a fire hose

    – Phil Ochs – Talking Birmingham Blues

  70. 70
    some guy says:

    @eemom:
    Nope, my snide aside was meant to point out our Saudi allies have, with our ongoing support, been fomenting a sectarian war against a secular regime for 3 years. Their cat’s paw is slaughtering people in syria, And now in Iraq. To be honest I am glad Obama is trying to save the Yazidi people.

    and if I recall you have always been a fan of the Şyrian “rebels” on this board. Why the change of heart now?

  71. 71
    kc says:

    @Punchy:

    The victim was black. So was the shooter. I admit, I was surprised when I learned the latter fact. I was really expecting him to be white.

  72. 72
    kc says:

    @Marc:

    Oh my God! I meant convicted! Shit! Sorry.

  73. 73
    kc says:

    @Elizabelle:

    Yes. That is better.

  74. 74
    catclub says:

    @some guy: Some reporting suggests that ISIS may take aim at Mecca, and will find plenty of support among crazy Saudis. The Saudi royal family will probably be royally pissed at some of their princes.

  75. 75
    Another Holocene Human (now with new computer) says:

    @rikyrah: Wow, shitty DC gentrifiers invent a shitty ‘hood profiling app at a time when DC HAS NEVER BEEN MORE SAFE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

    No I am totally not kidding, for example women used to get raped and people of any gender mugged in and around the Metro stop at Catholic University routinely and now they are selling over half million dollar homes in that neighborhood. I mean … shit … Adams Morgan … Eastern Market … M St … East Cap. GEORGETOWN is whining that they don’t have a METRO STATION. Okay, that is how much shit has changed and all of these white staffers have moved into areas that were boarded up, OMG, the development on steroids NE of Union Station I don’t even fucking recognize the place.

    In short, fuck these people.

  76. 76
    jl says:

    I understand the importance of brevity in headlines, but what also offends me is the euphemisms about gun violence. I am a white dude, so I guess I have a slightly different ranking for what aspect of these headlines is disturbing. Though ignoring the callousness and senselessness of it combined with racial angle is a very close second place. Maybe a tie.

    So, did the guy shoot a porch, that fell on a random person and killed them? Or he was part of conspiracy that lead to his porch to pull out a gun and shoot somebody? Same thing with the ‘ferry’ shooting post a few days ago. I guess if someone had a gun or catapult that could throw a ferry a few hundred feet, you could kill a hundred people with that.

    We have eleven words to work with. So, how about…

    Man gets second degree for shotgun murder of black girl seeking help.

    That’s twelve. I think close enough.

    Need a bold subheading, or whatever the news lingo is for those: Could have called 911 or asked her what the problem was before he blew her brains out (as she turned away, IIRC),

  77. 77
    Another Holocene Human (now with new computer) says:

    @rikyrah: Damn right it’s a double standard: the Democrats take out their trash.

    Every criminal, anti-social, misogynist, racist, constituent-arm-grabbing or constituent-avoiding piece of shit in a diaper the GOP rabble keeps sending to DC or state houses tells us exactly what kind of people they are.

  78. 78
    Suffern ACE says:

    @rikyrah: I too often think, let’s quit my job and move to the West Village. Because when you really need to cut costs, moving to one of the most expensive neighborhoods in the most expensive city is a no brainer.

  79. 79
    Another Holocene Human (now with new computer) says:

    @eemom: No fair, bringing up his comment of a whole couple of hours ago.

  80. 80
    catclub says:

    Michael Hiltzik is worth reading!

    http://www.latimes.com/busines.....olumn.html

  81. 81
    some guy says:

    @catclub:

    Evil guys. And yet when fighting against Assad with our other jihadist pals, the moderates of Nusrah Front and the Fee Syrians, many here cheered their valiant efforts against the “evil” Assad.

    Evil, itellya

  82. 82
    jl says:

    @rikyrah:

    It’s worse then your excerpt indicates. ‘User experiences’ of neighborhoods?

    From the link:
    ” The founders are also bracing for potential complications from an app that asks anonymous users to judge a neighborhood’s sketchiness. ”

    Anonymous users? What could possibly go wrong? Certainly more than we can imagine right now.

    Anyone know of legit aps that give neighborhood crime stats, traffic accident rates, from public sources, etc? I guess some of those must exist, otherwise these two geniuses would made one and skipped the anonymous whosits-whoevers ‘rating’ whatever the eff that popped off the top of their heads about a place.

  83. 83
    Marc says:

    @kc: Eh, like I said, it’s gotten to the point where acquittal is the default assumption in these cases. An actual conviction is the “man bites dog” story.

  84. 84
    PurpleGirl says:

    @jl: I know there is at least one site for NYC that gives those types of statistics but I don’t remember the name. I once had to track down some numbers for a grant application and found a bunch of different sites with numbers. They are mostly community profiles. And the numbers are typically compiled by the site’s staff from City-complied numbers.

    Given how many people have skewed perceptions of the areas they go through, I wouldn’t trust a profile composed by anonymous people.

  85. 85
    Tone In DC says:

    @Another Holocene Human (now with new computer):

    …for example women used to get raped and people of any gender mugged in and around the Metro stop at Catholic University routinely and now they are selling over half million dollar homes in that neighborhood. I mean … shit … Adams Morgan … Eastern Market … M St … East Capitol Street. GEORGETOWN is whining that they don’t have a METRO STATION. Okay, that is how much shit has changed and all of these white staffers have moved into areas that were boarded up, OMG, the development on steroids NE of Union Station, I don’t even fucking recognize the place.

    Last weekend, I was driving through and saw frat boys walking east on Rhode Island Avenue not far from Howard University. These guys looked like refugees from “Animal House”.

  86. 86
    M. Bouffant says:

    Did the AP leave out a word between “porch” & “shooting?”

  87. 87
    lou says:

    It is AP. These are the same people who had contrasting photo captions during Katrina: Black youth looted grocery store. White couple found food from grocery story.

  88. 88
    Enhanced Voting Techniques says:

    @rikyrah:

    Crain’s reports on SketchFactor, a racist app made for avoiding “sketchy” neighborhoods, which is the term young white people use to describe places where they don’t feel safe because they watched all five seasons of The Wire:

    Meh, I live in a sketchy neighborhood as defined as drug dealers shooting each other. While shootings were black on black violence it an’t their skin color that’s the problem. Anyway, as I found the folks in ‘da’ sketch’ (or however you say it) don’t shoot us whites because they are just law abiding citizens looking for a cheep place to live or see whites as their customers. Bad for business and all that.

  89. 89
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Enhanced Voting Techniques:

    My best friend lived in Inglewood (California) for a couple of years and always said that she felt completely safe because everyone on the entire street knew who she was since she was the only white person living in that neighborhood. And it was otherwise a safe neighborhood — occasional car theft/car break-ins, but no drug dealers, no muggings, nothing like that, which meant it was a thousand times safer than her old neighborhood in Detroit.

  90. 90
    kyle says:

    I love the bit in this thread where kc asked what was wrong with the headline … and no one could tell him.

  91. 91
    Paula says:

    @kyle:

    “Suburban Detroit homeowner” = HE PROBABLY HAS A RIGHT TO DEFEND HIS PROPERTY BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY FROM ALL THE SCARY NON-SUBURBANS.

    “porch” = STILL HIS PROPERTY FOLKS, I DON’T KNOW WHY YA’LL ARE SO MAD.

    “killing” = I guess he killed someone … who was it? It’s secondary to the fact that it’s STILL HIS PROPERTY TO PROTECT, WHY DO YOU CONTINUE TO SWEAT THIS.

    Best that I can tell, this is the subtext. The headline could have been, “Man convicted in second-degree murder of young woman”

    or to be kind, “Elderly man shoots young woman, is convicted of second-degree murder”

    Or, “Woman’s gun death in suburban Detroit leads to murder conviction”

    Man … this was easier than I thought …

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