Asshole and Proud of It


Shawn, Christion, and I went to Wheeling to Lowe’s for some paint for the front of the house and a squeegee with a 12′ extension so I can wash all the windows, hit the produce stand, and then went to the fish market (I quit eating beef and pork for the foreseeable future because I don’t want my pancreas getting doused with saturated fats), and when we were done with all the errands the guys wanted to go to a local Mexican grill called Cilantro’s (it’s like a local Chipotle). Went there, and I waited in the car checking email (I had a tuna steak, a little risotto, and a garden salad) and was parked next to the jackass pictured above.

Along with the obligatory NoBama and Does This Ass Make My Truck Look Fat, he also had a sticker on the left side for a local State Delegate, Tim Ferns, so I am sure he is a real winner of a politician.

The best part, though, was that this was a 6.2L V8 Ford Raptor SVT, which gets only 11/16 mpg, which means around here, 10-11 mpg with the hills. But here is the best part. The truck was running the whole time. This teabagging asshole was in drinking a beer and eating dinner while his truck was just sitting there running, wasting gas and polluting the world for, well, shits and giggles.

Even better, leaving your car running while unattended is rather clearly illegal for obvious reason, but this sociopath clearly doesn’t care about anyone else’s health or welfare and most assuredly doesn’t care if some kid hop in the truck and drives it through the storefront. I doubt he even so much as flinches at the misdemeanor and $100 dollar fine. Why would he- he’s probably burning that much money in gas driving to and back from the restaurant and idling it for an hour while he takes his time eating and drinking.

I got mine, fuck you,” I guess. I seriously hate these people.

146 replies
  1. 1
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    I might have been tempted to open the driver’s side door, turn off the ignition key, and maybe leave him a polite little note like “I’m sure you didn’t intend to waste fuel.”

    And then maybe, accidentally, forgetfully, wander off with his keys.

  2. 2
    NotMax says:

    Left it running to keep the A/C on to cool the unattended infant inside?

  3. 3
    Doc Sportello says:

    OK — confused.

    This guy left his truck running — unlocked — while he ate dinner inside?

    Trying to get my head around this.

  4. 4
    jharp says:

    You should have checked to see if he had a breathalyzer installed that he had to pass before he could start the vehicle.

    A long ways back I recall being at the Elks Club witnessing some dude drinking beer who left his truck idling whilst he drank so he didn’t have to pass the breath test to start it.

    Edit: breathalyzer installed due to previous drunk driving conviction

  5. 5
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    I guaranfuckingTEE that if there had been a child or dog in there, John would not be putting up such a calm, reasonable post.

  6. 6
    rikyrah says:

    It’s West Virginia. You know that they exist. He probably will be one of those who refit their vehicles to push out the black smoke. I bet he’s also been helped by Obamacare.

  7. 7
    Mike in NC says:

    What kind of teabagger asshole would eat at a restaurant called “Cilantro”? Were Papa John’s and Chick-Fil-A closed?

  8. 8
    Elizabelle says:

    That tuna steak in the car and you could not hide it in or on his vehicle?

    I am relieved he is not in the military, retired or active.


  9. 9
    beltane says:

    We have these people in Vermont but their trucks are never that clean.

  10. 10
    Elizabelle says:

    And the truck is a Raptor.

    Named after a weapon system or a predator.

  11. 11
    Svensker says:

    Doesn’t it make you feel like going and pooping right on his front porch? And peeing in his mailbox.

  12. 12
    beltane says:

    @Mike in NC: Yeah. This is obviously a metrosexual teabagging imposter.

  13. 13
    John Cole +0 says:

    @Elizabelle: Have you priced tuna steaks lately. I also bought canned tuna- I could have used my p38 and opened a can and put it in there.

  14. 14

    Nice truck!

    Too bad about your pen!s.

  15. 15
    Elizabelle says:


    Well that’s interesting.

  16. 16
    Violet says:

    @jharp: Yeah, that wouldn’t surprise me.

    You live in another world, John. People can go inside for a meal and leave their vehicle running with the doors unlocked and it’s still there when they come out? What is that? Utopia?

  17. 17
    raven says:

    @John Cole +0: Tape fish inside the hubcaps.

  18. 18
    burnspbesq says:

    The temptation to move the guy’s truck around the corner, and stick around to see his reaction when he came out after stuffing his face and his truck wasn’t there, would have been close to irresistible. But assholes of that magnitude are likely to be carrying, and would probably shoot at you, miss, and kill a two-year-old three blocks away.

  19. 19
    BC says:

    You made his day complaining about this. I have theory that conservatives will spend themselves to the poorhouse, dirty the air they breathe and litter the entire countryside – and think it worth their while if even one liberal notices and protests the waste of resources and the filth. Not, perhaps, a worthy goal in life but it is theirs.

  20. 20
    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name) says:

    @raven: Shrimp shells.

    ETA: Although they work best inside curtain rods.

  21. 21
    Elizabelle says:

    @John Cole +0:

    Not good with tuna steaks. Murder them, again. Bought one this year, and it did not turn out as well cooked as it looked (raw and appealing to me).

    Salmon is more forgiving.

    Your motto shall be “Make them wear that fish.”

  22. 22
    Elizabelle says:


    That could work.

  23. 23
    Jacks mom says:

    I wonder how these guys justify it. I live in southwest colorado and see this type of really stupid behavior all the time and it’s always from people that could really use the couple bucks they’re burning. Are they proving a point? What is the point?

    Oh yeah. Freedumb!

  24. 24
    Suffern ACE says:

    @jharp: bingo.

    Ignition interlock is required in West Virginia.

  25. 25
    GHayduke (formerly lojasmo) says:

    I like your new nym.

    You seriously need to relax some, though, john.

    It’s going to be hard not to drink walking around all pissed off all the time.

    I know this.

  26. 26
    SiubhanDuinne says:


    Ha! You say that with a certain insouciant air of experienced authority!

  27. 27
    GregB says:

    Proud to be a douchebag, but at least he knows he’s free.

  28. 28
    burnspbesq says:

    Mets must be living right. A double-play ball that sneaks under the second baseman’s glove, a seeing-eye bloop, and they have a four-run lead on Washington.

  29. 29
    SatanicPanic says:

    Why? That’s just weird.

  30. 30
    raven says:

    @Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): God, I left my bait bucket next to the dumpster in Beaufort this morning because the srimp’s and mud minnows made such a stank there was no way they were coming back in the van!

  31. 31
    chopper says:


    I vote for that. Leaving your truck running for an hour while you go eat makes no sense. But it does if you have an interlock.

  32. 32

    Pour a pint of milk down the air intake under the wipers. The liquid will settle near the heater core, turn, curdle, and nothing short of disassembling the entire dashboard will clean out the smell. And there is nothing worse than the stench of sour milk unless it’s cat piss.

  33. 33
    raven says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: Indeed. There was this guy in C-U that drove everyone nuts. When he moved to Florida we did him up!

  34. 34
    gbear +0 (but eating White Castle Cheeseburgers) says:

    @burnspbesq: I’m going to guess that the guy was sitting where he could watch his truck and just dare anyone to touch it so he could run out and shoot them – even if he was completely distracted from whatever he was doing inside.

  35. 35
    burnspbesq says:

    Read something today (don’t remember where) that has been bugging me. Omnes, maybe you know the answer.

    How does that asshole from West Virginia who refused to pay $21 a month for health insurance end up as part of plaintiff group in Halbig, a case in the D.C. federal courts? Last I checked, the Federal courts in WestbygodVirginny were still open for business, and WestbygodVirginny is part of the Fourth Circuit.

    I know there are some Federal statutes that specify that challenges to regulations go to the D.C. courts, but neither the Internal Revenue Code nor Title 42 as a whole is one of them.

  36. 36
    raven says:

    @Mustang Bobby: Hell yes!

  37. 37
    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name) says:

    @raven: Yep. And no one ever looks inside the curtain rods when they are first searching out a bad smell.

  38. 38
    Karen in GA says:

    What’s that $5,000 modification that allows gas-guzzling idiots to fire soot and smoke at Prius drivers?

  39. 39
    beltane says:

    @Jacks mom: The point is that they get to pretty much burn all their money and then complain that the blahs took all their money. It’s true that these people like to piss of liberals, but it’s also true that they derive a lot of pleasure from bitching and whining about everything.

  40. 40
    Mnemosyne says:

    I am not a fan of fish (it tastes too … fishy) but one of the chains near us makes a cherry chipotle-glazed salmon that sounds really good. This recipe is simple and is probably pretty close.

  41. 41

    John, you might want to check out Gardein veggie protein and Beyond Meat, which are amazing beef and chicken substitutes. You could probably use them in some of your recipes and get a great result. Only thing I would check are sodium levels since they are packaged foods.

  42. 42
    TR says:

    @Mustang Bobby:

    Note to self: do not anger Mustang Bobby.

  43. 43
    KG says:

    I will occasionally leave the engine running if I stop at the quicky mart to grab a coke energy drink water and candy bar healthy snack/protein bar. But that’s a three minutes and out sort of deal. Having a meal?

  44. 44
    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name) says:

    @raven: @Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): @Mustang Bobby: Knowing this doesn’t make us bad people, does it?

  45. 45
    Suffern ACE says:

    @chopper: yep. No need to damage the car. Turning it off and leaving the keys would have done the trick.

  46. 46
    Ruckus says:

    I think they also take pleasure in just being stupid.

  47. 47
    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name) says:

    @burnspbesq: Off the top of my head, I have no idea.

  48. 48
    Gravenstone says:

    I see a similar asshole around here who bookends his “Nobama” bumper sticker with one for “InfoWars” on his big ass 4X4. Truly an intellectual giant to be feared.

  49. 49
    amk says:

    NoBama ???

    kenyan, muslin running for 3rd term?

  50. 50
    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name) says:

    @Karen in GA: Rolling coal?

  51. 51
    muddy says:

    I have been having trouble opening the main BJ page. I can access the posts and comments if I link through a different way (through author lists etc). I don’t have a problem with any other sites I’ve tried.

    ETA: Chrome on macbookair

  52. 52
    Violet says:

    @chopper: Yep. Do the breathalyzer things know if the car is idling for longer than a few minutes and automatically turn the car off or send an alert? Seems like that wouldn’t be that hard to do these days.

  53. 53
    kindness says:

    A potato shoved into the fine gentleman’s tailpipe could be fun.

  54. 54
    beltane says:

    @Ruckus: It’s true. Some of us forget the stupidity levels of these people. If I wasn’t reminded of it on a daily basis, I might also forget.

  55. 55
    Ruckus says:

    What’s the point? I’m going a little asshole here and asking, is taking the key out of your pocket, inserting it and turning it too much work?
    You are wasting gas and you are not saving your engine one little bit. Does UPS leave their trucks running? No, because it wastes fuel. Does UPS wear out their trucks faster? No, they do not.

  56. 56
    Elizabelle says:

    Mark Twain: to effect of, do not take your dog to the gates of Heaven.

    “You would stay out, and the dog would go in.”

    Sounds about right.

  57. 57
    raven says:

    @muddy: I’m on Chrome on a macbook pro and I was trying to reply to JPL and it would not take.

  58. 58
    Suffern ACE says:

    @KG: I was listening to the news radio station the other day and the station had a story in rotation about an auto theft ring stealing luxury cars in the swanky parts of the North Jersey county across the border from Suffern. Cars stolen from driveways and a car stolen from a donut shop. The reporter indicated the ring were using a trick where they took parked cars with keys in them and in the case of the donut shop, took a car left idling outside. I am not taking the threat of this crime wave seriously.

  59. 59
    KG says:

    @burnspbesq: court of appeal found an injury and said since it was an IRS rule, they were cover. look at section II A

  60. 60
    burnspbesq says:

    @Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):

    I downloaded a copy of the complaint (which should be up for a National Book Award in one of the fiction categories). Case is set up as an Administrative Procedure Act challenge to the IRS/HHS regulations. General federal-question jurisdiction, and venue is proper in DC because the defendants (Burwell, Lew, and Koskinen) have offices there.

    I miss the Anti-Injunction Act like it was dead kinfolks.

  61. 61

    @Elizabelle: Do you know about the story in Mahabharata where the five Pandavas and their wife Draupadi are on their final journey to heaven?

  62. 62
    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name) says:

    @burnspbesq: That’ll do it.

  63. 63
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):

    Assuming everybody knows the story.

  64. 64
    amk says:


    freedumb, you dummy.

  65. 65
    Violet says:

    @Mnemosyne: Go with the Fischer & Wieser Roasted Raspberry Chipotle sauce. I like it on halibut. BBQ the halibut steak, then brush the glaze on near the end right before serving. There are other raspberry chipotle sauces but there is no substitute for this one, imho. It works on all sorts of meats, poultry, fish, poured over soft cheese for an appetizer, whatever.

  66. 66
    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name) says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: I had never seen that before. Nice to have textual support.

  67. 67
    burnspbesq says:

    @Suffern ACE:

    Plenty of cars worth stealing in places like Upper Saddle River (where, a very long time ago, I used to deliver booze to Nixon’s Secret Service detail on a semi-regular basis Ol’ Pat could pound it down).

  68. 68
    Elizabelle says:

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    No. Never heard of that.

    And your comment looked hard to type!

  69. 69
    KG says:

    @Ruckus: honestly, it’s just because it’s something I’ve done occasionally since I was 16. There isn’t any reason I do it or not do… Sometimes I turn off the engine sometimes I don’t.

    @Suffern ACE: I’ve got a push button ignition on mine, I’ve been meaning to look up how far it can be driven if the key isn’t inside (it won’t start if the key isn’t inside).

  70. 70
    Elizabelle says:


    That’s hilarious.

  71. 71
    Ruckus says:

    @Karen in GA:
    Omnes answered at #49 but it takes a diesel engine to do this. An F150 Raptor has a gas engine, 6.2L, 400+ HP so the gas mileage is probably not a big selling point, unless you like wasting fuel. Then this is probably your truck. Specs say 11/16 mpg but I’ll bet this dude doesn’t get anywhere near that.

  72. 72
    burnspbesq says:


    Push-button on mine (BMW X1) does nothing unless the key is in the slot. I suppose that if you were a professional thief, you could get somebody to whip up a master key of some sort.

  73. 73
    SiubhanDuinne says:


    Oh, probably U/L. Still a great revenge epic.

  74. 74
    Tommy says:

    @Violet: I live in a place I don’t even remotely think of locking my front door. You can leave your car running and nobody will steal it. It is a nice thing.

  75. 75
    Suffern ACE says:

    I guess it doesn’t matter if a yarn is true as long as it is a good story, but we are still left to ponder what it means. Justin Bieber saves lives? justin Bieber scares bears? You decide.

  76. 76
    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name) says:

    @efgoldman: I know people who have done it to someone, but only after hearing the urban legend. So there is a sort of chicken/egg thing going on here.

  77. 77
    amk says:


    lmao. hope it’s a true story.

  78. 78
    Tara the Antisocial Social Worker says:

    Hey Cole, I just want to tell you how much it makes me smile when I see that “+0” next to your name. You already took the hardest step, and I hope it helps to know that there are lots of people out here pulling for you, even if we’ve only “met” as names on a screen. (More importantly, my 2 dogs and 4 cats are pulling for you, when they’re not busy logging on to LOLcat sites or ordering gourmet pet food on my credit card.)

  79. 79
    Ruckus says:

    Do yourself a favor then and learn a new habit.

  80. 80
    Eric U. says:

    I know a guy that actually told me that his political philosophy was Cleek’s Law (in so many words, he didn’t know the name). He’s rich enough to run his car to piss off liberals, but he doesn’t like to waste money.

    I wonder if the person has a weak battery and doesn’t want to restart the car. I have left my car running when that was the case and I didn’t have time to replace the battery before going to work.

  81. 81
    KG says:

    @burnspbesq: I’ve got a Challenger, key almost never comes out of my pocket. I’ve had a few times where I’d taken it to the car wash or got it back from valet and the key was in the center console and when I got out the little lock button on the handle wouldn’t work because the key was inside. So it’s incredibly smart and I’m wondering if it’s like the cop cars where the engine will run without the key but as soon as you step on the brake, the engine dies (this also apparently is how the remote start systems work)

  82. 82
    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name) says:

    @Eric U.: Given the rest of the evidence cited by Cole, I think were have a strong circumstantial case that he left his car running because he is an asshole.

  83. 83
    muddy says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: It’s the last line that makes it absolute perfection.

  84. 84
    am says:

    Why do you insist upon discriminating against white people?

  85. 85
    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name) says:

    @am: He is a self-hating gringo.

  86. 86
    Mike G says:

    @Karen in GA:

    What’s that $5,000 modification that allows gas-guzzling idiots to fire soot and smoke at Prius drivers?

    It’s called “Rolling coal”. Just when you thought rednecks couldn’t get any stupider.

    Rolling Coal: Conservatives ‘screw’ Obama by modifying trucks to spew toxic black smoke

    “I run into a lot of people that really don’t like Obama at all,” a smoke stack seller in Wisconsin told Weigel. “If he’s into the environment, if he’s into this or that, we’re not. I hear a lot of that. You want clean air and a tiny carbon footprint? Well, screw you.”

    “It’s bad for the environment. That’s definitely true,” he admitted. “And some of the kids that have diesel trucks can look like tools. And you can cause a wreck, but everything else about it is pretty good.”

  87. 87
    Mike in NC says:

    @raven: We might be going back to Beaufort in a few months enroute to Florida. Last time there was roughly 10 years ago, but I recall it was sort of a nice quiet Southern town. Found a couple of decent restaurants. Stayed in the BOQ at the Marine Corps Air Station, where the room had complimentary beer and liquor. (I thought we were the only people in the entire building.) But God bless the jarheads! The Navy would never have done such a thing.

  88. 88
    Tommy says:

    @Mike G: I’ve watched the videos of it. I mean who thinks this is a good idea?

  89. 89

    @Elizabelle: A dog accompanies the five princes and their wife. Only the dog and the oldest brother make it to heaven, the rest die on the way. The dog is Yama, the Lord of Death in Hindu mythology.

    Wikipedia Link to the story

  90. 90
    barbequebob says:


    I have no doubts my beloved Mets will mange to blow it.

    Its what they do best

    (Midget Met since 1963)

  91. 91
    am says:


    Long time semi-lurker. Not serious.

    That would be a great troll, though, if the rep from AL hadn’t gotten to it first.

  92. 92
    muddy says:

    @raven: It took me a long time to think of getting the posts a different way. I nearly gave up when the main page would not respond.

    What I’m doing now is working fine, except it’s hard to find new posts. The previous and next post links are gone as well.

  93. 93
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): I’ve been wondering about the expertise on display.

  94. 94
    Mike E says:

    @Elizabelle: Entrance to Heaven is a privilege, because on merit the dog goes in while you get turned away.

  95. 95
    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name) says:

    @Gin & Tonic: We probably learned it the same place you learned Ukrainian.

  96. 96
    Peter VE says:

    @kindness: Exactly what I was thinking. Most likely, the owner would only find out after the towing company showed up.

  97. 97
    Tone In DC says:

    @Mustang Bobby:

    Pour a pint of milk down the air intake under the wipers. The liquid will settle near the heater core, turn, curdle, and nothing short of disassembling the entire dashboard will clean out the smell. And there is nothing worse than the stench of sour milk unless it’s cat piss.

    That is messed up.

    Good to know, though, in case Rand Paul and his sidekick Rep. King come through my side of town.

  98. 98
    amk says:

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    The dog is Dharma, the deity of virtue/virtuousness.

  99. 99
    burnspbesq says:


    6-1 going to the bottom of the ninth. Giving this one away would be an accomplishment.

  100. 100

    @amk: Dharma, Yama same guy or dog!

  101. 101
    Olivia says:

    This asshole is the reason I know that gasoline isn’t quite expensive enough yet.

  102. 102
    Jacks mom says:

    @beltane: yeah I guess I get that but I see these really suffering children with them and wonder how bad do you hate this and why don’t you love that instead.

  103. 103
    divF says:

    @burnspbesq: @KG:

    I love it when members of the bar start talking trash :-). Only thing that touches it in that department is when psychotherapists start having at it, starting with accusations of “narcissist” and “abusive”, and before you know it, they’re into Krafft-Ebing territory. In Latin.

  104. 104
    Roger Moore says:


    Specs say 11/16 mpg but I’ll bet this dude doesn’t get anywhere near that.

    He’s getting 0 MPG while the truck is parked and idling.

  105. 105
    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name) says:

    @divF: There was no trash talk in that exchange.

  106. 106
    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q) says:

    @Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):

    Knowing this doesn’t make us bad people, does it?

    Not at all. Indiscreet, perhaps. Some of us prefer that people only guess at what vindictive measures might be taken when we’re crossed.

  107. 107
    SiubhanDuinne says:


    Oh, yes. A true coup de grâce.

  108. 108
    burnspbesq says:

    Eveland gets two Ks and a routine grounder to short in the ninth.

    Final score Mets 6, Nationals 1. Mets are seven out with 49 to play. As if that’s relevant. Although it could be if they somehow manage to win six or seven of nine against Washington and Philly in the next eight days.

  109. 109
    Delk says:

    There is a good chance his insurance would not cover him if the car was stolen, or cover damages or injuries that might incur.

    Here, I feel wasteful if I don’t get my full $100 worth out of my monthly transit pass.

  110. 110
    Howard Beale IV says:

    And with that mpg the lpmg.

  111. 111
    Mike J says:

    Why blur the plates? He was out in public where anyone could see him. It’s not like there’s any expectation of privacy when you’re in public.

  112. 112
    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name) says:

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): I don’t think it is bad that people know a couple of things that one knows. They may then wonder what else one might know and/or do.

  113. 113
    burnspbesq says:


    The best comment ever along those lines:

    “Fuck you. Jones didn’t overrule Smith.”

  114. 114
    Ruckus says:

    @Roger Moore:
    Well yes but if you average over an entire tank of fuel…..
    Now if we measured fuel used per hours of operation……

  115. 115
    Snarki, child of Loki says:

    @chopper: re: interlock

    If this is the reason for leaving the truck running, the best revenge is to note the plate # and alert the cops when the guy leaves the restaurant.

  116. 116
  117. 117
    divF says:

    @burnspbesq: Ah yes. The cut direct.

  118. 118
    Tommy says:

    @Roger Moore: My car is a V6 VW Passat. Made in 2001. Gets 32 MPG. I am stunned in 2014 you can get a car that gets that terrible MPG.

  119. 119
    Mike J says:

    @Ruckus: Popular Mechanics reports gallons per 100 miles along with MPG, which is a better metric. Replacing a truck that gets 11 MPG with one that gets 16MPG is a muchmuchmuchmuch bigger win than replacing a 30MPG car with a 35MPG car.

  120. 120
    Tommy says:

    @Mike J: I am a big fan of Top Gear. The BBC version. There are cars out there that can get close to 70 MPG. Not hybrids. Cars in production. By like Ford. We just can’t buy then here in the US.

  121. 121
    Tommy says:

    @efgoldman: I get that. I live in a rural area. Pretty much everybody has a large truck. If my truck only got 11 MPG I’d be really pissed off. Would not be acceptable to me.

  122. 122
    Mike J says:


    The car in question is a truck. A big-ass truck.

    Cole’s Subaru is probably also a truck. I remember reading it was the only way they ever met their fleet targets for fuel consumption.

  123. 123
    burnspbesq says:


    The bestest Euro-only car evah. Alas, no longer being made.

  124. 124
    Pee Cee says:


    The car in question is a truck. A big-ass truck.

    As in, a big truck designed to be driven by asses.

  125. 125
    Karen in GA says:

    @Mike G:

    “It’s bad for the environment. That’s definitely true,” he admitted. “And some of the kids that have diesel trucks can look like tools. And you can cause a wreck, but everything else about it is pretty good.”

    Other than that, how was the play?

  126. 126
    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name) says:


    If my truck only got 11 MPG I’d be really pissed off. Would not be acceptable to me.

    And that is probably one of the reasons you don’t own a truck.

  127. 127
    Eric U. says:

    If I understand the SVT properly, that’s actually a pretty refined truck from automotive standards.

    I had to get rid of my performance car because I don’t like going to gas stations very often. Bought a Prius and I’m pretty happy about that

    @Tommy: I was behind a very small car the other day that seemed to have incredibly slow acceleration. I don’t know what it was, but it was either Ford or Chevy. Would have checked it out better, but I blew right past it when the light turned green, and when they finally got up to speed they blew right past me.

  128. 128
    JustRuss says:

    @Tommy: Put away the tinfoil hat. The Euro test for determining fuel mileage is much more optimistic than ours, and Europe is less stringent on diesel emissions than the US. Most of those hi-milers are diesels.

  129. 129
    Ruckus says:

    He could carry the weight of your Passat. Of course he probably drives it around empty most of/all the time.
    IOW it’s a nice grocery getter. For the anti environmentalist.

  130. 130
    Ruckus says:

    @Pee Cee:
    If you have a need for that much hauling power, a big pickup is not a bad thing. If you drive it to be macho, which is about the only reason to buy a F150 Raptor, then ass hauler is totally appropriate.

  131. 131
    Pee Cee says:


    If you drive it to be macho, which is about the only reason to buy a F150 Raptor, then ass hauler is totally appropriate.

    Right. This isn’t just a truck … it’s the expensive toy version.

  132. 132
    Ruckus says:

    It might be better to say the EU does things differently than we do, rather than that they are much more optimistic. They look at emissions differently and measure CO2 more as a controlling factor, we look at the overall picture. They also tax based on the CO2 per mile, we demand a set limit for all cars and light trucks, and different limits for bigger pickups, which at one time were generally used for work, rather than as a pleasure car.
    Also the 70 mpg cars are small cars with pretty small diesel engines. They get good mileage but they are relatively sluggish accelerating. I doubt most here would tolerate them. But they do there as fuel is about twice what we pay for it. And for the most part the extra cost is taxes, which help pay for public transportation and better roads.

  133. 133
    RSR says:

    yup, just waiting for the rolling coal upgrade

  134. 134
    Ruckus says:

    @Pee Cee:
    Base price is listed as $45K.
    And I’d bet that 80-90% of them don’t or rarely haul anything. If you were buying an actual work truck rather than one for actually driving to work, you’d consider the price as quite high for what you get and that mileage would suck. Fifteen yrs ago I had a F150 4 wheel drive when I lived in snow country which had a much smaller engine and got 17/22 mpg. Was plenty fast enough and hauled plenty of stuff. And I considered that mileage to suck donkey balls.

  135. 135
    Davebo says:

    Life is short Dude.

    Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.

    And really, this is a pretty petty thing. It’s like. OMG!! There are assholes in West Virginia!! Who woulda thunk it???

    Hoping all is well with you and all I’m saying (as I’m working through the same issues you are) is Lighten Up Francis.

  136. 136
    🚸 Martin says:

    That’s when you start hammering shit into his tailpipe.

  137. 137
    Joel Hanes says:


    for pure tone, I’ve always liked

    “We refer you to the reply made in the case Arkell v Pressdram.”

  138. 138
    Gindy51 says:

    Potato or tennis ball in tailpipe, problem solved.

  139. 139
    HeartlandLiberal says:

    My experience with this is the rich white middle age woman who frequently pulls her Mercedes two seater sport sedan up and leaves it parked in the fire lane right by one of the doors of the local supermarket where we shop. Even if there is an open spot in the parking lot not 30 feet away in the actual parking spaces, that clearly is too much for her and her sensibilities of entitlement. If I were a bad person, and I admit to having been tempted, she would come back one of these times and find the trail of a very sharp nail down the driver side of the car.

  140. 140
    Spike says:

    @Tommy: And, given that the claimants in question are Brits, the ‘g’ in “mpg” likely refers to imperial gallons. One imperial gallon is approximately 1.2 US gallons.

  141. 141
    Matt McIrvin says:

    @Spike: Yeah, I recall having a really confusing conversation about automobile efficiency with a British person before I realized he was using miles per imperial gallon. It’s odd that they don’t use km/l or l/100km.

    You can buy more efficient vehicles in Europe, though, mostly because the tax incentives exist to make them more attractive in the market. US emissions and safety standards might also cut a bit off the gas mileage, but it’s mostly that when fuel isn’t taxed through the roof, people would rather buy either a cheaper car or a more powerful one.

    Or, if they do care about efficiency, it’s considered a premium feature, so the high-efficiency vehicles you can get are mostly in a higher-end niche. My Honda Fit is a great car and I’d love to buy a hybrid version of it, and Honda makes one; but they don’t sell it in the US, because they believe Fits are bought by cost-conscious people who are thinking short-term, and they’ve calculated that the fuel savings isn’t worth enough with US gas prices to make the additional price worth paying. So you can buy a hybrid Civic, but not a hybrid Fit. I’d rather have the Fit, though…

  142. 142
    Matt McIrvin says:

    …Also, yeah, it’s true that the EPA is currently really hard-assed about what you can claim as the fuel efficiency of a car, which knocks a few MPG off all the ratings relative to what you might read in other countries.

  143. 143
    philpm says:

    Noticed the lack of trailer hitch on this bad boy, so he ain’t hauling sh!t. Just this dudes socially acceptable pen!s extender.

  144. 144
    C.V. Danes says:

    At least he didn’t have a set of balls hanging off the trailer hitch.

  145. 145
    Bill Door says:

    Carry some raw potatoes. When you come upon someone like this: jam a potato in the tailpipe, push it all the way and even far enough to be out of sight, remove remains of potato from external pipe, leave.

  146. 146
    Matt McIrvin says:

    @JustRuss: Volkswagen recently came up with a working concept car (actually put into very, very limited production and sale!) that got over 200 mpg.

    I recall reading some tinfoil-hat rant about how its existence was being suppressed in the US by Big Oil and that it proved that the 100-mpg carburetor was a real thing all along, etc. etc. Looked into it, and it turns out the thing is a very expensive, lightweight two-seater diesel-electric hybrid, and would probably need modification to even meet US highway safety standards. It’s real, and it’s a really impressive piece of engineering, but you don’t need a conspiracy theory to explain why you can’t buy it here.

    (Turns out Snopes has a page on it.)

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