From Paul Constant, at Seattle’s Stranger, “Today in Daddy Issues: George W. Bush to Publish Biography of George H.W. Bush“:
… The book will be around 300 pages, and the publisher is quick to point out that W wrote it all by himself. Hopefully the title is Everything I Needed to Know About Invading Iraq I Learned from My Daddy. I wonder if it will include the time Bush the younger drunkenly challenged Bush the elder to a fistfight? And will it end with Saddam Hussein hanging from a rope as George W. Bush walks down a hallway in slow motion to “Carry On Wayward Son?”….
Yeah, like Bush the Lesser could even read a 300-page book. Why the fvck should Dumbya be climbing out of his gated-community bunker to slather a new coat of veneer over the old man’s rep…?
…The timing of the book won’t be ideal for another Bush: former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, who will have to decide around the release date whether to try to become the third Bush president. He’d be competing for attention with his brother’s book about his dad, and the whole setup might spark yet another round of speculation about the brothers’ rivalries…
Thus spaketh the professional Bush-fluffers at Politico. Just imagine how fun this year’s Thanksgiving gathering of America’s Aryan Corleones is gonna be!
Hal
So W really is trying to sabotage any chance Jeb has of running for President.
scav
Well, they can compete on points with the Vice-Unpleasantness family TurkeyDoo, no? And, of course, the real question is Will it be illustrated?! Which googleimages will get featured?! oooooooo! anticipation, flutter and speculation to come!
Punchy
Jeb has ZERO percent chance to be Pres. Peeps tired of the Bush shtick. All the Dem nommy needs is 5,000,000 placards that read “Bush and Iraq Invasion; batting 1.000”.
Karen in GA
I hate those bastards, but I’d watch the reality show.
beth
Saw on the news tonight that W is rumored to be the next commissioner of baseball. Would MLB really want to take on the shitstorm that would occur if he got that job? He wasn’t exactly beloved when he left office.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
WASP not Aryan.
Keith P
It’s bound to be better than the inevitable Liz Cheney bio of Dick Cheney.
Roger Moore
@beth:
They might. Bush still has a decent reputation within the game. The owners definitely know he’s on their side.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
Just found out that a fraternity brother’s mom died today. Not a good week for my college friends.
Suffern ACE
Something tells me that if you’re running for office, show up at a plant closing to highlight your opponents failed economic policies and end up blaming the closure on the assembled plant workers who are losing their jobs, you probably won’t be getting their votes.
Roger Moore
Next week on “Keeping Up With the
KardashiansBushes”: Junior tries to suck up to Senior and sabotage JEB!’s career at the same time. Hilarity ensues.Amir Khalid
Spaketh? Spaketh? It’s “thus spake …”
300 pages sounds kind of brief for a biography of a president, especially a “heartfelt, intimate, and illuminating” look at the entire life and political legacy of one whose own son became president himself.
Still, I look forward to the audiobook, to be read by Will Ferrell.
Roger Moore
@efgoldman:
Bush knows which side his bread is buttered on. The owners may or may not respect that, but they damn well demand it from their Commissioner.
Suffern ACE
Immodest fruit: Safe for work, or not?
WaterGirl
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): It’s been that kind of week. A really good friend’s 90-year old mom fell and broke her hip. Another friend’s mother is in the hospital for a possible heart attack. Another old friend’s wife was just diagnosed with the same brain tumor Ted Kennedy had, not good.
Mnemosyne
@WaterGirl:
That’s what my father-in-law had (glioblastoma multiforme). He responded very well to Avastin and got two years instead of the six months he was originally given, but the tumor got him in the end.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@WaterGirl: This lady lived a full and interesting life and she left behind people who loved her. Hard to do better than that.
Hill Dweller
Campbell Brown is about to be on Colbert’s show. She is being billed as an “education reformer”.
Villago Delenda Est
@efgoldman: What a vile excuse for a Commish Selig was. Yuk, phooey.
Lords of Baseball liked him just fine, though. Which says a lot about the Lords of Baseball.
Amir Khalid
@efgoldman:
Is some right-wing think-tank going to make bulk purchases to push the book up the New York Times best-seller list?
GxB
Hey, hey now! Lets not be so quick to judge. Three hundred pages is quite an accomplishment especially if all the popup figures have articulations and you can make Barney’s tongue stick out and shit.
That would be pretty dope.
WaterGirl
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): You are right about that.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
High Anxiety is just starting on TCM. I vividly remember the first time I saw it. i was in high school and a rather attractive Jewish girl invited me over to watch it with her so that she could explain the Yiddish/Jewish jokes to my WASPy ass. I actually took that offer at face value.
Ernest Pikeman
Ha ha JEB!
Just put this on repeat: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKgPY1adc0A
“Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.”
Two Bushes, two Iraq invasions. If JEB! runs, I hope somebody asks him if he’s going to invade Iraq too, every damn time he’s out in public.
Dog On Porch
No doubt the chapter about how Pa disappeared his Guard records will figure prominently.
Mandalay
@Punchy:
If a vile doofus like Mitt Romney can get 48% of the vote, Jeb surely has a way better chance than zero.
Especially when it emerges a week before the election that Hillary was fucking Vince Foster after she killed him, not before.
KG
Bush nostalgia would actually probably help Jeb in the primaries. Remember this would be targeted towards Republicans voting in the primaries. They probably still blame Perot for losing in ’92 and think we had a nice boom (rather than bubble) during the aughts.
KG
@efgoldman: actually, his strategy would be to remind the other potential candidates that he is a Bush and knows where all the bodies are buried, who likes ladyboys, and who is skimming cash. Worked for W in 2000
Mike in NC
And so Dubya is forced to continue his lifelong love-hate relationship with Poppy. Order your barf bags today.
Roger Moore
@efgoldman:
Lots of owners came from less exciting backgrounds. The main thing that Bud had going for him is that he was the leader of the hawks in the owners fight with the MLBPA. Unlike Bush, he seems to be capable of learning a lesson and has managed to keep the peace since the disastrous 1994-5 mess*. I am not Bud Selig’s biggest fan, but I would never accuse him of being stupid.
*Thanks again to Sonya Sotomayor for ruling against the owners and letting the 1995 season start. That’s what earns you a spot on the Supreme Court!
KG
Side question: given Bush Sr’s resume, doesn’t 300 pages seem light? Let’s see: college baseball player; WWII pilot; ambassador; head of the CIA; Vice President; and President. I mean, that’s a lot of ground to cover, isn’t it?
beltane
@efgoldman: Bush II made conditions in the Middle East go from bad to horrible. Maybe Bush III could start a war with Iran and make things go from horrible to even worse than horrible. That’s a campaign pledge the 27%ers could totally rally around.
NotMax
@Amir Khalid – @Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
Thanks.
Also too, “slather a new coat of veneer?”
Slather a coat of varnish or paint, yes. Apply, glue, nail, hide with, or add a layer of veneer.
@efgoldman
Bingo.
beltane
@KG: Maybe the biography will just cover Bush Sr’s baseball career. It’s the only part of his career his son could truly understand.
Joel Hanes
This GHWB bio will be remarkable its lacunae — the things one might most wish to learn will be exactly the things left out.
Bonesman, head of the CIA for many years, keeper of secrets.
I’m guessing that the treatment of Iran-Contra will be brief.
Mike G
As believable as “Saddam has nookyular weapons”.
RobertDSC-Power Mac G5 Dual
Can’t that motherfucker leave us alone?
A Humble Lurker
This family is so screwed up.
Steeplejack
The mention of Dubya triggers an unfortunate memory for me. A day or two ago on ESPN I happened to catch a clip where he was part of some ceremony honoring Derek Jeter at the Rangers’ ball park. He was standing next to Ivan Rodriguez and out of nowhere just pats his bald head. I know I still have the remnants of Bush derangement syndrome, but, seriously, who the fuck does that?! It’s 10 seconds into the video at this story. What a condescending, self-important buffoon.
ETA: The original clip I saw was longer and more loosely edited, so the head pat stood out more than it does here.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Steeplejack: Shrub likes to rub men’s bald heads, he’s a very strange man.
beltane
@Steeplejack: At least Ivan Rodriguez was spared the back rub Angela Merkel got from Dubya.
Roger Moore
@Steeplejack:
The same guy who gave Angela Merkel a back rub. Not all people have the same ideas about personal space.
Steeplejack
@Steeplejack:
And, Christ, even the comments to this story are a cesspool of Obama-bashing, e.g.:
Yes, I would have liked to see Bush “at the front” in either of the two wars he actually did lead us into. Jee-sus.
ETA: Golly, I’m crabby tonight. My apologies.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@Steeplejack: Bush could cheer lead but that’s about it.
the Conster
@Steeplejack:
Nothing beats him shaking a Haitian earthquake survivor’s hand, then wiping it on Bill Clinton’s shirt. If that doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about the guy, then nothing does.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@the Conster: Ted Kennedy told a story in his autobiography about touring a factory and having a man with greasy, dirty hand try to avoid shaking hands with him because he didn’t want to get Kennedy’s hands dirty. Kennedy replied that he didn’t mind honest dirt and shook the guy’s hand. He also made sure that he didn’t wipe his hand off until the tour was over – to make sure that no one got a pic of him wiping “honest dirt” off of his hands.
KG
@Steeplejack: it’s comments like that (from the article not yours) that leads me to believe that Jeb could get the nomination. And again, while I think it’ll be Huckabee (I know, I know), I am starting to fall in love with the idea of Mitt running on “I told you so”… because that’s totally a winning campaign strategy.
Dexter's New Approach
W was surely the worst President in modern history. No one can explain away how every one of his major policies failed. But he has had the good sense to STFU post-office.
I’d be interested in hearing (not reading) what he has to say about his dad. I mean, it would have to juxtapose Bush Sr. vs the current GOP if it were to be complimentary to his father. To defend his father, he would have to attack the current GOP that would never have his dad’s policies or temperament.
But W is not smart, so I guess i shouldn’t care anyway.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@KG: My horse is Santorum. He has next in line cred and is completely cuckoo. The resulting general election would an LBJ level blow out.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@the Conster: In 2000, during the campaign, he appeared on Letterman and during a commercial break, while a producer was going over something with DL, Bush casually reached over and used the hem of her blouse/sweater to clean his glasses. I’ve always thought that moment sealed Letterman’s opinion of Bush, and he was right. I never really understood the Bushes, especially why MoDo used to call Big Bad Bar the Luca Brazzi of the WASP Corleones, till I got a look at the son.
Not a great video, but here it is.
KG
I’ve got a lot of history and political books. A few years back, my mom bought me W’s memoirs and while I didn’t like the guy by that point, I figured it’d be worth a read. I figured that maybe, just maybe, it would give some insight into what was actually happening during his administration. I was amazed that it managed to say nothing. I even made a point of skipping around to different parts to make sure. I eventually had to just set it down and leave it be because it was just pap.
Steeplejack
@KG:
What gets me is the complete (selective) amnesia:
Dubya was a war president. And he was a complete fuck-up at it. (Hence the amnesia.)
I almost replied to the guy, but then I reminded myself: it’s an ESPN story about Derek Jeter’s farewell tour. That’s how crazy things have gotten.
the Conster
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
Holy shit. What a total fucking asshole. You just know that if his nose had been running, he would have used her sweater for that too, without a second thought.
KG
@Steeplejack: I’m conversationally fluent in wingnut, and honestly, reading that quote again… I can’t figure out what he’s saying. I think it’s some sort of “Bush was a real leader and Obama is a wuss” statement.
PurpleGirl
@Amir Khalid: What do you think… of course some place will.
Arclite
When I came to the site, I was immediately redirected here. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. I know John is away, but is there someone who can look into this? It’s been happening more and more this year.
Karen in GA
@Dexter’s New Approach:
I don’t know if it’s the good sense to shut up, or if it’s just that he never had much interest in the job when he had it, so why would he bother paying any attention to it now?
David Koch
Q. How long does it take Dubya to read a book?
A. Nobody knows, it’s never been done.
PurpleGirl
@Arclite: I clicked your link and I went to a blank page. i wonder if your computer doesn’t have a virus doing the redirect to you. I haven’t had a redirect while coming to BJ.
ETA: The blank page also showed “new tab” as its name. I use Avast and it didn’t go crazy with bells and whistles as it does when landing on a malware or bad page.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@PurpleGirl: Nor have I. OTOH, a lot of people have been having autoplay ads taking over everything, so who knows?
mdblanche
@Hal: I imagine mommy dearest is putting him up to it.
@David Koch: He does plan to finish My Pet Goat one of these days.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@mdblanche:
To be fair, he was interrupted during that one.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
Eric Cantor is resigning early, mid August, presumably to start grazing in that pasture as soon as possible. He has asked Terry McAuliffe to call a special election so his whackadoo successor can take his place sooner. So you VA tax-payers are subsidizing his Palinesque cut’n’run for K Street. FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY! and duty honor and country, too.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: Larry Fuckin’ Sabato
Suffern ACE
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: yes. If we don’t have that republican seat filled, critical legislation will languish.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@Suffern ACE: The who what now?
mdblanche
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: Just how stupid is Larry Sabato? Making the taxpayers of Virginia pay for the expense of an unnecessary special election just so Cantor can line his own pockets is the exact opposite of generous. McAuliffe should just leave the seat vacant.
Steeplejack
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
God, is everything designed to irritate me tonight?! As productive as the House is now, Cantor could sit in his office and play Minesweeper for the next six months and no one would know the difference. No need for a special election.
ETA: And I think a blood vessel just burst in my brain.
danah gaz
Isn’t he dead yet? I thought he was dead.
SADFACE.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@Steeplejack: Wanna follow me down an alternating Tom Waits and Metric rabbit hole? Example: this and this. Kind of a musical speedball.
Suffern ACE
@danah gaz: I heard he took the firechallenge and we almost lost him. Well, technically, he paid someone else to take it for him, but he totally would have done it, if he hadn’t had more important things to do.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@danah gaz: Jesus. Speaking of thought they were dead… Long time no see.
Culture of Truth
It ws always about Daddy Issues. Invading Iraq was always about finishing the job his father started. For Bush, at least.
danah gaz
@Omnes Omnibus, you have no idea how utterly exhausting it is to be me all the time. Sometimes I have to step back and regroup.
=)
Hai.
*waves*
I holed up for awhile IRL as well. Being me is a process. LOL
Steeplejack
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):
I don’t know if I can bring the necessary gravitas tonight. I’m so out of it that when I saw David Gray on Letterman a while ago I had to search on YouTube to remember the one big song that he had, which I liked (“Babylon”). The song he did tonight was utterly forgettable, although he did have two cute backup singers.
Will dutifully listen to the speedball combo. Must pour another splash of red wine first.
danah gaz
@Suffern ACE: Bwahahahahahaha!
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@danah gaz: Welcome back. For as long as the process lets you be here.
@Steeplejack: Cheers. Not working tomorrow. Have a 0 birthday this weekend. I will be responsible for nothing. God help us all.
danah gaz
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): Thank you. In the time since I’ve been away I’ve gotten infinitely prettier (true story – yay modern medicine!), reconnected with my baby sister, worked at a shelter for homeless teens (my day job until very recently), learned how to make pepper spray balloons, spit on at least one man, had a cat die of cancer (and got a new one that will probably be even bigger), and I’ve been thoroughly politically radicalized. I’ve done it all without getting arrested once, so that’s just indication that I need to step up my game.
=)
bago
The only way to destroy a patriarchal dynasty is to demean the name. Anytime you completely fuck something up, just turn and smile and say: “Like a Bush”.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@danah gaz: Well, damn.
danah gaz
@bago: But what about if you want to demean patriarchy in general?
I’ve nearly exhausted my supply of man jokes.
Steeplejack
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):
Speedball bitter but bracing. Have a Nordic boilermaker of the Teddybears and Edith Backlund.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@Steeplejack: Why did no one make me aware of The Teddybears before this? Horrible, but cool. I was alternating down- and up-beat hipster favored things. You went for the truly bizarre. I appreciate the effort.
Steeplejack
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):
I thought of the Teddybears as the shot and Edith as the beer. Works for me.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@Steeplejack: No, I get it. But I am surprised that The Teddybears had escaped me.
Steeplejack
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):
This will probably destroy my street cred, but I heard them on SiriusXM, of all places. Obscure channel (“The Spectrum”?), weird show called “Nordic Rock” or something, hosted by a guy who sounds like Dieter on Sprockets. Just happened to be listening to it as I was driving home from dropping off some friends at BWI.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@Steeplejack: Knowledge is knowledge.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): Got the membership package from AARP yet?
BillinGlendaleCA
Two weeks ago, I chickened out on getting a tat 3 times. Walked by didn’t go in. Fourth times the charm, I guess.
danah gaz
@BillinGlendaleCA: You’re getting AARP tattooed on you? Where?!
ETA: I guess I should observe the 5 minute rule. Sometimes it’s more fun to intentionally violate it, though.
Steeplejack
@BillinGlendaleCA:
So what did you get/are you getting? And first one?
I’ve never felt the lure of tattoo art. I have an interesting collection of scars.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@BillinGlendaleCA: No.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Steeplejack: Not the first, I got 2 last year. It’s a purple and gold dog paw(my little YorkiePom’s paw). Go Huskies.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): I got my membership package about a week or so before that b-day. No, I didn’t join.
SixStringFanatic
I was unaware that coloring books ran as long as 300 pages. The things you learn if you live long enough.
Frankensteinbeck
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):
I honestly don’t think Bush is ‘stupid’, like, doesn’t read books kind of stupid. The accent was as fake as the brush clearing. His mistakes were because he was an entitled prick with daddy issues. Not to say he was smart, but his brains were moot since he was the perfect Village darling, a manly man who shot from the hip and was faithful to his cronies. It should also always be remembered that he turned out to be an extremist, but he ran as a ‘compassionate conservative’, and was a fantastic campaigner. He was entirely electable, and even most of the people who didn’t like him were shocked at how wildly badly he governed.
@Steeplejack:
I saw a Day-Of-The-Dead style Hello Kitty tattoo this weekend. It was AWESOME.
Cervantes
@Steeplejack:
Understatement.
Cervantes
@Dexter’s New Approach:
Not only that, is there anything he ever told the truth about?
I have no reason to believe he’d be telling the truth here, either.
Cervantes
@KG:
For him, that’s a positive achievement.
rustynailer
My only question is, how many Maureen Dowd columns will this be worth? I put the over/under at 4.5.
Tehanu
@Villago Delenda Est:
I’ve always wished I had bought one of the T-shirts they were selling outside the stadium a few years back: “Osama Bud Selig.”
@Steeplejack:
Me too — the rest of us would be in a better spot to frag him