Hi Everyone,

By an unexpected confluence of events, I have been invited as a guest blogger to converse with all of you. I once had a co-worker that happened to be at a VIP lounge when President Clinton walked in with his entourage. He said President Clinton was tall, had a way about him and when he shook your hand he sort of grasped your shoulder with his other hand. He looked in your eyes and had a way of interacting like you were the only one in the room. My co-worker said he saw stars in his eyes for a while and started shaking people’s hands that way, until someone told him to stop because it wasn’t “him”. Well, after more than 15 years of being out of her classroom, there’s a part of my brain that still has this weird professor worship over a teacher that taught me some pretty good “stuff”. To this day I’m still writing papers for her even if its just in my head. So here I am, as a result of still writing papers for her in my head. We all loved her and for the record I got one “A” in her class on an assignment. I think it might have even been an “A-minus”.  I only took two of her classes. For the record, I am in my mid-thirties and a healthcare professional. I use to be undocumented, which is why I am here.

I wish all of you a good evening. We’ll talk again soon.

65 replies
  1. 1
    Gin & Tonic says:

    Yeah, uh … cat? dog? lizard? bird? Surely you were informed of the rules.

  2. 2
    Me. Too. Also. says:


  3. 3
    David Koch says:

    Moar cats, less talking

  4. 4
    A Humble Lurker says:


  5. 5
    raven says:

    What up?

  6. 6
    White Trash Liberal says:

    Your friend’s anecdote is a paraphrase of Primary Colors.

  7. 7
    MomSense says:

    Welcome Little Red Rising!

  8. 8
    JPL says:

    When did you attain your citizenship or card? Being undocumented was always bad, but now it appears there are whackos on look out. I’m glad you are here, though.

  9. 9
    the Conster says:

    who’s “her”?

    ETA: never mind.

  10. 10
    Karen in GA says:

    Hello and welcome, Little Red Rising.

  11. 11
    Suffern ACE says:

    Hello. I hope you’ll get along well. In general, we tend to be polite to all front pagers, as I’m sure you’ve been told.

    If you don’t have a mendacious personal stalker troll, one will be appointed for you from our pool. Do you prefer your troll to be the kind who threatens to get you fired at work, or the kind who hates your writing style? We have several varieties to choose from.

  12. 12
    pika says:

    Welcome, Little Red Rising!

  13. 13
    kdaug says:

    @Suffern ACE: The first thing you should know is that Suffern ACE lies. Constantly.

    Do not be beguiled by his charms.

  14. 14
    bk says:

    You sure are lookin’ good! But AP Style has “health care” as two words.

  15. 15
    Old Dan and Little Ann says:

    Do new posters qualify as an open thread? I am watching Bill Maher and Nate Silver has not made one peep in the first 15 minutes. He looks like he might be stoned for the first time.

  16. 16
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Suffern ACE: In general, we tend to be polite to all front pagers

    I’m sure Freddy can vouch for this.

  17. 17
    Violet says:

    Welcome! Please update your pet status.

  18. 18
    Karen in GA says:

    @Old Dan and Little Ann: If they do, then I’ll just sneak in and leave this here — Iggy goes on a car ride.

    If not, then never mind.

    But does Nate Silver usually say much during these things?

    And yes, Little Red Rising, we will need to know more about your pets.

  19. 19
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    Welcome to The Juice Zone, LRR. Looking forward to more posts from you.

  20. 20
    I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet says:

    Hello. More words, please. :-)


  21. 21
    SiubhanDuinne says:


    Somehow I missed that today was your birthday! Sorry! Hope it was a good one.

  22. 22
    RobertDSC-Power Mac G5 Dual says:


  23. 23
    SiubhanDuinne says:


    I am devastated. Will mark my calendar for 2015.

  24. 24
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    I use to be undocumented, which is why I am here.

    Well, good. As long as you’ve had all your shots, and are not carrying Ebola to infect us all and wreak untold havoc on Steve, Lily, and the one who sort of shares your name who shall not be named, I think you’ll do just fine here.

    Also, do beware that the /sarcasm tags don’t always work properly. FYWP!

  25. 25
    Alison says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: Mine was last Friday. I await your well-wishes next year. (It’s easy to remember – 7/11 :) )

  26. 26
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Alison: I’ll have one of those jumbo slurpees, please.

  27. 27
    Alison says:

    Oh and welcome, new FPer, and I add my voice to those calling for a Listing of Pets.

    If no pets…………….sorry, my brain can’t compute anything after that thought.

  28. 28
    Garbo says:

    Welcome, Little Red. This crew judges a person on the content of their carrier (pet carrier, that is.) So if you don’t already have a pet, you should borrow one so we can see into your soul. We’re weird that way.

  29. 29
  30. 30
    ⚽️ Martin says:

    Welcome. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts on immigration.

  31. 31
    Garbo says:

    @Garbo: Ugh. FYWP on iPad. Sorry can’t delete duplicate post.

  32. 32
    Violet says:

    @⚽️ Martin:

    Welcome. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts on immigration pets.


  33. 33
    trollhattan says:

    @Old Dan and Little Ann:
    Did he maybe have a date with MoDo?

  34. 34
    Mike E says:

    @Old Dan and Little Ann: His old “Politically Incorrect” show had Stephen Jay Gould on and he never said a word…Maher’s random mix of guests can be a real conversation uh, squasher.

  35. 35
    Suzanne says:

    Welcome. And…yeah. Pets. Priorities, you know.

  36. 36
  37. 37
    Jane2 says:

    Welcome, LRR! Now, about your pets…..

  38. 38
    Ecks says:

    There hasn’t been enough apostasy yet on this thread. The pets, down with them! So says I! And the beer, it is terrible.

    Or is it down with trolls and the beer is flowing. I always get confused.Same difference, surely?

    So anyway welcome. Your word formings are prettily pleasing. Looking forward to more, moar I say.

    /insomniac mode

  39. 39
    Mike J says:


    And the beer, it is terrible.

    Just finished dinner, so I’m still on white wine. Halibut with some lemon pepper on the grill, Caprese-ish salad on the side, plonk white from Total Wine.

    But I do have some Pyramid hefeweizen ready for a lazy Saturday afternoon.

  40. 40
    Pogonip says:

    My birthday is the autumnal equinox, most years. Easy to remember. And I am not insulted by cash gifts.

  41. 41
    J R in WV says:

    Hi Little Red front pager!

    I have 2 dogs, 2 cats, and 3 day-care dogs that come over when their people go to work. Oh, and a Mrs J R as well~!

    What kind of animals do you worship?

    We live most of the time in SW West Virginia in the rural forested woods, but in the winter we take a vacation to sunny Arizona, very near the Mexican border, so we can be harrassed by the ever Cheerful Border Patrol agents protecting us from… whatever.

    So I’ll be interested in what you have to talk about besides your little furry masters!

    Most posters here are refined, polite, and protective of their fellow Balloon-Juice community memgbers… hahaha! No Really!

    Well, except for the trolls, you may bring some trolls along with you, which would be intersting. Someone mentioned the AP Style Book, which we are familiar with in these here parts.

    Seriously – welcome to the best trolling on the innertubes! B-J!

    Have fun!

  42. 42
    Keith P says:

    I had a girlfriend once who said very similar things about Clinton. She didn’t think he was that attractive and kind of creepy until she met him in person, and basically swooned.

  43. 43
    Roger Moore says:

    @Suffern ACE:

    Do you prefer your troll to be the kind who threatens to get you fired at work, or the kind who hates your writing style?

    I don’t see any reason to scrimp. Can’t we give her one of each?

  44. 44
    RSR says:

    ha…BJ community in suspense. (Including me.) should be, ah, interesting…(but now I have to go to bed, so tomorrow?) Welcome, new front pager!

  45. 45
    satby says:

    Welcome! Can’t wait for more clues.

  46. 46
    Suffern ACE says:

    @Roger Moore: honestly, with the price of trolls these days, we can’t afford two. What with all the new front pagers, retirement of notable old trolls, and we still can’t find one to work with Richard. I hope tbogg brings his own.

  47. 47
    GHayduke (formerly lojasmo) says:

    Hi. I’m driving to Duluth tomorrow (4 hour trip) and I have an AA meeting at seven in the morning.

    Going to bed. Cheers.

  48. 48
    Roger Moore says:

    @Suffern ACE:

    we still can’t find one to work with Richard.

    You must not have noticed that mclaren keeps accusing him of being a wealthy insurance company owner. Hell, we have so many trolls around here that even some posters have their own trolls, like Little Boots for Omnes.

  49. 49
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Roger Moore:

    Hell, we have so many trolls around here that even some posters have their own trolls, like Little Boots for Omnes.

    That’s one I’ve never been able to figure out, fathom, understand, whatever.

  50. 50
    Anne Laurie says:

    Welcome to the Borg, Ms. Red. Always glad to have another pair of hands on the FYWP tiller, and since you’re a healthcare professional, you already have real-life experience with most of the virtual body fluids that get flung around here.

    Also, if Cole didn’t tell you about our Lexicon (permanent links in the left-hand column, under the Amazon logo & above the Tunch graphic), it’s a useful guide to the various acronyms & catchphrases confetti-ing our comments…

  51. 51
    NotMax says:


    Place is turning into a virtual daycare center.

  52. 52
    A Humble Lurker says:

    @Roger Moore:
    I think Little Boots is just nuts.

  53. 53
    SatanicPanic says:

    Are you the Latino we’ve been demanding? (yikes, it sounds bad when you put it that way, but shit, our people need representation here too) Welcome!

  54. 54
    YellowJournalism says:


    And if you don’t have pets, gardens and/or food p o r n will do until commenters find you a pet.

  55. 55
    c u n d gulag says:


    I eagerly await your musings!

  56. 56
    eric nny says:

    I say she needs a wolf mix. Husky at a minimum. It’s only appropriate. I’ll start combing the rescue sites. How many would you like?

    Oh, and welcome!

  57. 57
    tybee says:

    welcome, little red rising hood.


  58. 58
    Josie says:

    Welcome LRR. You seem sort of mysterious – maybe a cat person? Pets are very important to us here, as are food and gardens. Health is right up there since some of us are seniors, so we will be interested in your ideas.

  59. 59
    Tokyokie says:

    @Violet: Actually, we want to hear your views on immigrant pets. We used to have a few of those until beloved kitty Neyle died about four years ago.

  60. 60
    ET says:

    You are in for it now…… Just kidding…… or maybe not……..

    But what we all really want is PICTURES OF PETS IF YOU HAVE THEM…. And if you have pets we want pics of them. Frequently.

  61. 61
    catperson says:


  62. 62
    kc says:

    Welcome! Now make with the pet pics, please.

  63. 63
    J R in WV says:

    @c u n d gulag:

    I see your nym at lots of the blogs I visit, don’t you have anything more fun to do?

    Oops, me too!! ;-)


    And LIttle Red Rising Hood – like that’s not gonna stick!!?! funny!

    No Offence, new Front Page Little Red Rising, we just can’t help ourselves!

  64. 64
    Kay says:

    Hi Little Red Rising and welcome. The commenters are really nice :)

  65. 65
    Trinity says:

    All politicians have this power I think. I met Tom Delay back in 2007. A very small man but he took over a whole room. They way he caught and held your gaze was extraordinary. Politicians are a very particular breed. Be aware.

Comments are closed.