Unsolvable problems

An image caption from Gawker.

House Speaker John Boehner winks at Politico’s Jake Sherman at the Republican National Committee headquarters in Washington, Tuesday. Sherman had asked Boehner whether had ideas for border legislation. “I’ve got lots of them,” Boehner said. Image by J. Scott Applewhite via AP.

My first reaction: Do your job you fking wanker. You don’t play BS middle school games with the lives of desperate children.

My second reaction: Oh, right, forgot about the tea party. What else could he say? No, sorry, I don’t bother with specifics any more. Imagine the President and I work something out. My wackadoo caucus will undermine the plan just for the fun of spiking it. Piss off and pass the gin.

All things considered he might as well go with snide; a desperate and futile cry for help would just encourage the Goehmerts.

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36 replies
  1. 1
    c u n d gulag says:

    And, of course, Politco’s Republican sycophant of the day, Sherman, didn’t ask any question(s).
    He just winked back.

    TBOTP continues its political Theatre of the Absurd performance.

  2. 2
    c u n d gulag says:

    And, of course, Politco’s Republican sycophant of the day, Sherman, didn’t ask any question(s).
    He just winked back.

    TBOTP continues its political Theatre of the Absurd performance.

  3. 3
    Shakezula says:

    Can John the Hungover hang on to his perch in Congress? Stay tuned for the next episode of “As the Teabag Turns!!”

  4. 4
    R-Jud says:

    “a desperate and futile cry for help would just encourage the Goehmerts.”

    There’s more than one of them?!

  5. 5
    BGinCHI says:

    Off with their empty heads.

  6. 6
    SatanicPanic says:

    Speaking of the Goehmerts, that dude’s going especially crazy lately:

    “And they’ve committed at least 7,695 sexual assaults,” he insisted. “You want to talk about a war on women? This administration will not defend the women of America from criminal aliens! By the thousands, and hundreds of thousands!”

  7. 7
    the Conster says:

    @BGinCHI:

    The whole country is a creature without its head now – we just haven’t toppled all the way over yet. The press won’t or can’t do their jobs, and the Congress can’t or won’t do its job. We’re well and truly fucked.

  8. 8
    BGinCHI says:

    @the Conster: I’m tired of living in such interesting times.

  9. 9
    LAC says:

    Boehner’s idea: glass, ice, bourbon, repeat.

    If that fucking overgrown oompaloompa did his job, I would be looking out for the faint sounds of oinking in the skies.

  10. 10
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    This gutless mediocrity once dreamed of being on the great Speakers. Now he’s making cutesy little jokes about his own impotence while, if Rome isn’t burning, there’s a lot of smoke in the neighborhoods. And he likes his fancy office.

  11. 11
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    @the Conster: he press won’t or can’t do their jobs,

    Apparently Ruth Marcus at the Broderton Daily Shopper has a column entitled “Sarah Palin Is Right”. I can’t bring myself to look at it, but I’m sure it’s some provocative speaking-conventional-wisdome to the Cult of the Presidency from an EvenTheLiberal. Also, too.

  12. 12
    Linda Featheringill says:

    @BGinCHI:

    LOL!

    Exhausting, isn’t it?

  13. 13
    Linda Featheringill says:

    We might get a reasonable immigration policy yet.

    The Obama presidency has been marked by awkwardly flailing around but accomplishing absolute miracles in the end.

    Maybe this is how miracles are pulled off by mere mortals.

  14. 14
    bemused says:

    Bah! Almost 99% of Republicans in office are venal and bile, being generous. Mutter, mutter.

    @SatanicPanic:

    How is that even possible?

  15. 15
    Belafon says:

    @Linda Featheringill: Sounds an awful lot like the description of the FDR presidency.

  16. 16
    Elizabelle says:

    From Orange County Register: pretty straightforward news story:

    Immigration: Why Kids are Fleeing to US and what to do.

    Light on the “what to do”, but some factoids:

    Children caught by U.S. Border Patrol agents are handed over for screenings conducted by officials with U.S. Health and Human Services. They are asked if they have a family member in the United States with whom they can stay, or they look to foster homes or charitable groups that will house them.

    The kids can get a notice to appear in front of an immigration judge within days of arrival. But the wait between getting that notice and actually appearing in court is a lengthy one. According to data out of Syracuse University, the average wait time for a case for a Guatemalan is 774 days. For an El Salvadoran, it’s 758 days and for a Honduran, it’s 617 days.

    Once in court, the children are not entitled to a government lawyer. That leaves the child with the option of self-representation, hiring a lawyer or finding one to do the work pro bono.

  17. 17
    pamelabrown53 says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:” Ruth Marcus at the Broderton Daily Shopper” = genius. She is beyond annoying.

  18. 18
    libarbarian says:

    Just yesterday I saw at least 6 latino children at the local playground. They were far away and I can’t read lips but I’m pretty sure they were speaking Spanish. Anyways, I naturally told my kids to stay in the car and decided to watch the others for any signs of suspicious behavior . Of course, there was plenty of it. All of a sudden 5 of them started running away from 1, who proceeded to run around trying to touch the 5 kids who were running away. Of course, this proves that Fox News was right; these children are just teeming with diseases. Out of 6, 1 of them was so contagious that even the others didn’t want to be touched by him!!! Even more shocking was that The infected one actually WANTED to infect his peers!!! What kind of culture are we unleashing among us?

    What came later was cause for even more concern : When the infectious one did end up touching one of the others, both he and the the other children proceeded to act as if he was now no longer a carrier. Everyone stopped running away from him, and joined and focused solely on avoiding the now newly infected one, who switched from running away from the first infected kid to chasing after the others (including the one who already was infected … huh?).

    Suddenly it all made sense. They are so poorly educated that they don’t understand disease transmission and think that when one spreads his disease to another, he himself becomes cured. So, when they become sick they not only actively seek out to give their sickness to another but proceed to take no preventative measures after this has been accomplished.

    Can you imagine the kind of havoc that would spread in our communities?

  19. 19
    Elizabelle says:

    @pamelabrown53:

    The problem with Marcus (and the Broderton Daily Shopper aka WaPost — brilliant!) is they went for clickbait, and wingnuts will not read beyond the headline and first paragraphs:

    Sarah Palin is right about impeaching President Obama.

    No, not that the president should be impeached. But Palin is correct in arguing that, for those who assert that Obama has grievously abused his executive authority, impeachment is the proper course of action.

    Of course this won’t happen, for the obvious reason that this tactic didn’t go so well for Republicans last time.

    Marcus’s actual point is “Please proceed, wingnuts.” But that’s nuance to them, and wingnuts don’t do nuance. They’ve got their headline from the LIBERAL Washington Post.

    What’s tragic is impeachment discussed as “bad for Republicans” as opposed to an insane tactic applied for political gain only.

  20. 20
    LAC says:

    @libarbarian: lol!!! But were they also raping women willy nilly, as our brilliant congressman gohmert has said?

    Godspeed, amurrican!

  21. 21
    Corner Stone says:

    @libarbarian: Good God! I hope you had your windows up the entire time, and ran your A/C (Anti-Contamination) system full blast!
    But to the rapid transmission protocols they displayed – did any of them, once infected, immediately stop as if they were frozen? I’m just scared to death that this may not be a normal disease or virus that we can spray the area for.
    I’m afraid this may be the cooties epidemic we’ve long been warned about.

  22. 22
    WaterGirl says:

    @libarbarian: Heh. Pretty funny.

  23. 23
    libar says:

    @Corner Stone:

    So, you’ve seen this virus before? There was a period of time during which paralysis was a symptom. However, it lasted only a limited time. It must have been one of those rapidly evolving retro-viruses or something.

    Lord save us from the Obama Plague!

  24. 24
    amk says:

    @libarbarian: lol. well done.

  25. 25
    Corner Stone says:

    @libar:

    So, you’ve seen this virus before? There was a period of time during which paralysis was a symptom. However, it lasted only a limited time.

    Yes I have, unfortunately. And although it may not be PC to say, in my experience it largely targets females for infection. Some danger signs are flushed cheeks, random giggling, and aggression in open areas. They can be seen chasing and attempting to smother any boys found in their territory.
    Primary transmission zones are elementary schools and public parks. That’s one of the main reasons we simply can’t let our kids go to the park by themselves. They have no defense against this menace!
    I’m sad to say that the only defense is repeated, limited exposure over time until one builds up an immunity.
    Our kids are helpless against this cootie infected horde!
    Damn you Obama for your treachery. Damn you.

  26. 26
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    I’m sure that once Speaker Boner sobers up, he’ll be able to articulate his ideas.

    I am not going to hold my breath, however.

  27. 27
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Elizabelle:

    Once in court, the children are not entitled to a government lawyer. That leaves the child with the option of self-representation, hiring a lawyer or finding one to do the work pro bono.

    Ah, OK, so these kids can represent themselves. In fluent English and Legalese. This makes, how shall I put this, LOADS of sense.

    There’s this huge dent in my desk right now from banging my head against it. Can anyone help with that?

  28. 28
  29. 29
    Cervantes says:

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    There’s this huge dent in my desk right now from banging my head against it. Can anyone help with that?

    Yes. Turn your desk over and read yet another article on the subject.

  30. 30
    Cervantes says:

    @libarbarian: Yes, and then I saw them doing something with hula hoops. It was … unspeakable.

  31. 31

    @Villago Delenda Est: David Frum assures me that they are all gang members anyway so they should be dealt with as harshly as possible. Isn’t scummy Frum an immigrant himself? Since he belongs to the well dressed gang of neocons he deserves a pass?

  32. 32
    Elizabelle says:

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    I know. If there is anything those children are arriving with, it’s binders of lawyers.

  33. 33
    danimal says:

    @schrodinger’s cat: The well-dressed neocon immigrants are much,much, much more of a danger than these immigrant children.

    With these criminals, watch your wallets and keep them far away from the top levels in the chain-of-command.

  34. 34
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @schrodinger’s cat: For bonus points, he’s white. That’s the hilarious thing about “illegals”…they’re more “illegal” if they’re brown.

  35. 35
    Shakezula says:

    @libarbarian (and others): Very nice.

  36. 36
    The Other Chuck says:

    My first reaction: Do your job you fking wanker.

    His job as a Republican is to wreck everything and screw everyone. I’d say he’s doing a bang-up job.

Comments are closed.