Headline in a local rag:
Sure, they look all cuddly and friendly, floating slowly around the canals. But turn your back on them for a moment, and they plot murder and mayhem!
PS: The headline refers to a conspiracy in Manatee County! Also, open thread.
Villago Delenda Est
I thought the conspiracy might involve assholes running down manatees with their speedboats.
I’m pretty sure that when you’re talking about redneck Floridians, there’s a conspiracy afoot to do something, like perhaps run cocaine or pot past the other rednecks who are the cops.
As far as actual manatees are concerned, it’s a conspiracy to out cute kittens and puppies, which is something with which the kittens and puppies will not put.
pacem appellant
Any BJers who live in the SF Bay Area (South Bay preferred) feel like getting together to complain about the insanely low primary turnout and the upcoming Khanna vs Honda fight that’s going on my district (CD-17)?
Mandalay
An even handed view of rape…:
And on the use of rape in war:
Violence on women has to be right up there with climate change as the biggest problem the world has to address.
BGinCHI
One of the other crimes was apparently aggravated cuteness with intent to cause SQUEEE!
chopper
oh, the huge manatee!
geg6
@Villago Delenda Est:
I had the same thought initially. And I was getting all fired up because few things piss me off like the rednecks in Florida who have no thought or concern about those adorable manatees!
I went diving in the Indian River once and the manatees just swam along with me like dogs.
NCSteve
@Villago Delenda Est: I assumed it was some plan by the Scott Administration’s political appointees to the state fish and wildlife agency to slaughter manatees just because it would piss off liberals.
Trollhattan
So, if instead of googling “Florida man” I google “Manatee man”…
Manatee man paints American flag on home during dispute …
Manatee man, impersonating police, stops Tampa officer
Missing endangered Manatee man last seen Monday
400-pound Manatee man subdued by stun gun after tussle
Aaaand
Fort Pierce man charged with molesting manatee …
I think my work here is done.
WaterGirl
@pacem appellant: I want to know when we’re going to start live streaming the BJ meetups!
Villago Delenda Est
@Mandalay: Jeeze, those Indian politicians are swell guys, aren’t they? Regular Elliot Rodgers they are
Some ass needs to be kicked there, ass belonging to Babulal Gaur and Mulayam Singh Yadav, Repeatedly. With hobnailed boots. Perhaps THEN these pricks will feel a bit of empathy.
WaterGirl
@BGinCHI: It took me a minute to reconcile your comment with the one above yours. After reading the comment about war and rape, I had totally forgotten about the manatees.
Villago Delenda Est
@NCSteve: Well, given that cleek’s Law seems to be running totally out of control all over the continent, yes, that’s not too outrageous an assumption to make.
Arclite
The Bechdel test is often used to show the state of male-centric movie making. It’s not perfect however, as movies like Pacific Rim which has a strong female character with her own arc, fail the Bechdel test (regardless of how you felt about that movie).
I stumbled upon the Mako Mori test:
Thought that was interesting and conversation worthy.
Betty Cracker
@geg6: I’ll never forget the first time the mister saw a manatee up close. He was new to boating when we met, and I told him I knew where we could see some manatees in the water.
We idled up to the spot, and I saw the swirls they make on the surface of the water with their tails, so I anchored and pointed out where to snorkel. He swam out, and then came swimming back moments later with his eyes HUGE behind the mask, spluttering, “It’s as big as a VAN!”
That was 20 years ago, and I still tease him about being afraid of manatees, LOL!
PaulW
The Manatee Murder Massacre starring Tim Matheson and January Jones, next on SYFY…
Trollhattan
Wait, there’s more.
Manatee man solicited girl, 12, for ‘ghastly’ sex act, sheriff says
Manatee man stabbed with scissors, then jailed on battery …
Zzzap!
FWC officer cites same Manatee man twice in week for …
Manatee man accused of stabbing ex-girlfriend 25 times …
Manatee Man Shot, Killed As Kids Practice Football
Manatee man arrested after incident with knife
Enhanced Voting Techniques
Consider, if you will, a mod for the computer game Fallout, were 200 years in the future in post nuclear apocalypse Washington DC the zombified editorial board of the Washington Post debates how the Wanderor lacks the gravitas to oppose President Dick Richardson and the Enclave’s program of genocide to rebuild America is just bold, counter intuitive thinking.
PaulW
To be fair, Fort Pierce is nowhere near Manatee County
piratedan
@PaulW: from the people that brought you Sharknado!!!!!!!!!!!!!
kindness
Was going to write snarky comment about shiftless Mantee’s wanting free Obamacare but those big lugs are so cute I can’t make up shit about them. I’d be a lousy Republican.
Mnemosyne
At last, I can tell my manatee story:
The now-hubby and I went to Sea World in San Diego and were part of a group gaping at the manatees in the tank.
One woman says, “Oh, look, it’s nursing.”
There was a pause, and someone else said, “That’s not a breast.” Upon which statement some people started brightly steering their kids along to the next exhibit.
Yep, we got to witness some hot (well, extremely slow-motion) manatee-on-manatee action for the price of our ticket.
JMV Pyro
@NCSteve:
See, that’s what a normal Tea Party animal would do. Scott has a glass of fresh spilled manatee blood served to him daily. They said it would make him more youthful and charismatic.
Villago Delenda Est
@Enhanced Voting Techniques: No diet of PhD enriched brains will save the zombified WaPo editorial board. There’s some stupid that can’t be cured.
TaMara (BHF)
JeffreyW posted a cute picture of kittehs that I just couldn’t resist, I had to add a caption that’s made me smile all day.
It’s that kind of day. Fuck everything else and give me cute, be it manatee or kitteh.
@chopper: Won the thread in 5!
SatanicPanic
I wanna hug that manatee. Is that weird?
BGinCHI
@WaterGirl: Only Tucker Carlson would think those rape stats are cute.
geg6
@Betty Cracker:
OMG, I’d never let him forget it either. Manatees are truly the golden retrievers of sea life.
the Conster
BTW, whatever happened to long time commenter Odie Hugh Manatee?
PaulW
Boy there hasn’t been an Open Thread this depressing since that Family Guy gag about Justin Beiber went nowhere.
…what, too obscure a Manatee Gag?
geg6
@the Conster:
Good question. I can’t recall seeing his nym lately.
scav
@BGinCHI: But rape is a social crime, like white shoes after labor day or mocking the difficulty of tying bow ties. right?
MattF
@Trollhattan: I think the manatees have a valid beef with the State of Florida. Or, at least, whoever it is that names counties.
raven
Woodrowfan
but once they’re in prison they’ll end up joining some gray-supremacist gang..
BGinCHI
@scav: For Tucker it’s a crime if the victim gets all uppity and tells someone.
Roger Moore
@raven:
[citation needed]
MattF
@raven: Didn’t mention that both Graham and Issa were foaming at the mouth.
Betty Cracker
@the Conster: Awhile ago, I think I recall him saying something to the effect that this place was getting too firebaggy for him and that he planned to spend less time here. Either that happened, or I hallucinated it in an insomniac stupor, but I’m pretty sure it actually did occur.
Belafon
@Arclite: I’ll have to read it at home, sounds interesting though.
ranchandsyrup
manatees are the cows of the sea but they’re related to elephants.
raven
@Roger Moore: I found a link but it’s marked as spam. Try the Amherst Times.
SatanicPanic
@Betty Cracker: woah that’s a low tolerance for firebaggery. We’re pretty waterbaggerish if you ask me
FlipYrWhig
Yeah right, sea cow. #gaffigan
mdblanche
Speaking of sea mammals and rape…
raven
@Betty Cracker: The last posts I see were interaction with T&H and Cornerstone.
scav
@BGinCHI: I mean, how dare anyone protest his choice to bless them even with his simple presence. I rather think he’d enjoy the publicity and proof of man-manliness if they swooned and fanned themselves during the telling.
gogol's wife
@raven:
I think Betty’s right.
raven
@gogol’s wife: I don’t think our answers are all that different do you?
pacem appellant
@WaterGirl: If I can get a meetup together, I’ll live stream it!
SatanicPanic
@raven: Whatever happened to Cornerstone and T & H?
gogol's wife
@raven:
I wasn’t trying to contradict you.
J R in WV
What a combination of up and down. Manatees and Kittys and Rape!
And what about that exploding radioactive waste treated with organic litter?
What’s the world coming to?
That’s Not a Breast?!?!?
;-)
Please, no one accuse me of making light of rape, one of the most horrid crimes out there! It’s the thread’s fault!
raven
@gogol’s wife: I was just axin.
raven
@SatanicPanic: I, for one, don’t care.
Trollhattan
@SatanicPanic:
If you ask that question three times out loud to the bathroom mirror with the lights out….
MattR
@Arclite: Since you mentioned Pacific Rim. This is pretty damn cool. The plan is to open the World Cup next week by having a paralyzed person walk a few steps and kick a soccer ball while wearing an exoskeleton that he controls with his mind. This is some facebook video of the last of the 8 candidates taking her first steps.
Betty Cracker
@SatanicPanic: I believe Cornerstone dropped in fairly recently, but it was a rare sighting. As for ed-Tay & Co., just please for the love of Christ don’t say “Beetledouche” three times.
ETA: Annnnd Trollhattan beat me to the punch!
SatanicPanic
@Betty Cracker: T & H was our only troll, kinda miss him
Ronzoni Rigatoni
My boat was attacked by a goddam redneck manatee. Put-putting onto Terra Ceia Bay down here in Beautiful Manatee County, a giant manatee suddenly lifted my outboard out of the water (very slow speed, and very shallow channel) and slammed it back down against the stern board, cracking the brass mounts and costing me a $2500 repair. Dang things are bigger’n a cow and, from my experience, meaner’n hell. I fish off piers these days.
Villago Delenda Est
@SatanicPanic: No one cares what happened to T & H. With any luck, a meteor fell on him.
feebog
@SatanicPanic:
I kinda miss him/her like a toothache.
FlipYrWhig
@Betty Cracker: He’s “another voice I enjoy,” remember? Those were the days.
SatanicPanic
@FlipYrWhig: Oh man, things were contentious back then. Freddie, Bernard, ED Kain, ABL. constant foodfights. Kinda miss the drama.
FlipYrWhig
@SatanicPanic: I can’t believe it was that long ago already.
Pogonip
@Trollhattan: That Manatee Man sure is busy.
SatanicPanic
@FlipYrWhig: Yikes, 2011. Yeah, I’ve been here since I think 2009. FIVE YEARS. time flies
Arclite
@MattR: This is pretty cool. Technology FTW.
Jay C
@feebog:
Yeah, and whatever happened to BiP? As soon as the Ukrainian elections were over (and no one raised a swastika flag over Kiev or started shooting Jews) he just seems to have slunk away*. Maybe he’s off enjoying a couple of weeks at the Simferopol Peoples’ Recreational Hostel Number 375 and Spa? (Mudbaths complimentary!)
* And good riddance!
A Humble Lurker
@SatanicPanic:
Now ABL I miss.
Trollhattan
@Betty Cracker:
I like “Beetledouche” moar better.
Trollhattan
@Jay C:
No such luck, he was here briefly (whew!) in yesterday’s GoT thread, with the predictable and appropriate response from us.
SatanicPanic
@A Humble Lurker: me too. I know her tenure here was divisive, but she brought an interesting perspective every now and then
A Humble Lurker
@SatanicPanic: I don’t mind that it was divisive because it was divisive because of stupid people. I could just ignore them.
Woodrowfan
I miss ABL a lot. T&H, not so much.
another Holocene human
@Mandalay: Richard the Lionhearted was alleged by contemporaries to have raped women during his wars in France. Plus ca change…
Villago Delenda Est
@another Holocene human: I’m sure he did. It’s what they did back then…women, especially commoners, were playthings for the “nobility”.
boatboy_srq
@Betty Cracker @top: Have you been to Manatee County? Your headline is still appropriate.