Lefty, he can’t sing the blues

Nothing special against Phil Mickelson, but heh:

Golfer Phil Mickelson is under investigation for possible involvement in insider trading, according to reports in The Wall Street Journal andThe New York Times. I’m wondering how long it’s going to be before folks on the right start telling us that we’re hearing the heavy tread of the Obama jackboot –in early 2013, you may recall, Mickelson whined about the tax bill on his earnings of $60 million — a cry of freedom that was praised by Peggy Noonan (“it was unusual: Most people in his position are clever enough not to sound aggrieved”) and was deemed the start of an anti-Obama tax revolt in a FoxNews.com op-edby Obana conspiracy theorist Wayne Allyn Root. Last year, as Breitbart noted, Mickelson went on CNBC and told Maria Bartiromo that CEOs he golfed with were telling him they weren’t hiring because of Obamacare.

Mickelson has had some difficulties with money. Many reports over the years have said that Mickelson has had gambling problems —here’s a good roundup — and, well, the current story tells us that the insider trading allegedly involves a well-known Vegas gambler:

Here’s hoping it turns out he threw a couple tournaments. He’s sure missed enough short putts over the years.

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45 replies
  1. 1
    Hunter Gathers says:

    Can’t wait for his soon-to-be scheduled appearance on Hannity, where he’ll threaten to withhold his productivity in response to this obvious political witch hunt.

  2. 2
    Baud says:

    CEOs he golfed with were telling him they weren’t hiring because of Obamacare.

    According to Kay, we’re now supposed to say “a little thing called Obamacare” when these types of claims are made.

    http://www.balloon-juice.com/2.....nt-5002158

  3. 3
    JPL says:

    He’s cooperating with the FBI and wishes he could say more, but alas he can’t.

  4. 4
    pete says:

    The dust that Pancho bit down south ended up in Lefty’s mouth

  5. 5
    MattF says:

    @Baud: It’s just terrible that people may choose not to take jobs at these CEOs corporations because they can now get healthcare without a corporate job. This limits the CEO’s FREEDOM, and we can’t allow that.

    ETA: Also, Peggy Noonan can go perform an unnatural act on a nearby orifice.

  6. 6
    🌷 Martin says:

    CEOs he golfed with were telling him they weren’t hiring because of Obamacare they’re greedy assholes who find it more socially acceptable to blame Obamacare.

    T,FTFY

  7. 7
    Anoniminous says:

    Not in this Universe nor in some alternative possible Universe do I give a rat’s ass about what some golfer says about … well … anything.

  8. 8
    David Koch says:

    This is the clown who said he was going Galt cuz of taxes:

    But it’s not making me want to go out and work harder.

    And if that wasn’t bad enough:

    I have a chance to spend time with CEOs, a lot of them who are quality individuals having a hard time hiring right now because of so much uncertainty going on in the financial world whether it’s taxes, whether it’s the health care, whether it’s all the obligations that are placed on the employer, so I don’t want to be insensitive, I understand and get it…

    Millionaire Golfer Phil Mickelson Feels The Pain Of The Underclass: The Poor, Poor CEOs

  9. 9
    Anoniminous says:

    The day they laid poor Pancho low, Lefty split for Ohio. Where he got the bread to go, there ain’t nobody knows.

    (But they suspect insider trading)

  10. 10
    DougJ says:

    @Anoniminous:

    ha ha ha

  11. 11
    MattF says:

    @Anoniminous:
    All the Federales say,
    They could have had him any day.
    They only let him slip away,
    Out of kindness, I suppose.

  12. 12
    Patrick says:

    Mickelson went on CNBC and told Maria Bartiromo that CEOs he golfed with were telling him they weren’t hiring because of Obamacare.

    Really? In the real world, hiring has picked up since Obamacare. So, I wonder what excuse for not hiring they had prior to Obama taking office? Our economy was losing jobs under Bush.

  13. 13
    Amir Khalid says:

    The ads I’m seeing with this post are from Royal Selangor, the famous Malaysian maker of fine pewter objects. They’re for the Swing line of wine accessories, designed by some Danish golf nut.

  14. 14
    Baud says:

    @David Koch:

    But it’s not making me want to go out and work harder.

    After the 15th hole, it just feels like I’m golfing for the government, man. That ain’t no way to live.

  15. 15
    pseudonymous in nc says:

    Ah, it’s always good to be reminded of why I dislike golf, especially in its American form where it’s very much the domain of corporate assholes and pasty reactionaries in gated country clubs.

    And the question to all of them is: are you really not fucking rich enough?

  16. 16
    Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name) says:

    TVZ. Excellent.

  17. 17
    pseudonymous in nc says:

    @Patrick:

    Mickelson went on CNBC and told Maria Bartiromo that CEOs he golfed with were telling him they weren’t hiring because of Obamacare.

    And Bartiromo answered that she’d heard the same thing from all the CEOs who invite her to fly around the world on their private jets?

  18. 18
    JPL says:

    Because of ACA, Phil’s wife will always be able to obtain health care. Because of ACA, so will other females.

  19. 19
    efgoldman says:

    @JPL:

    Because of ACA, so will other females.

    According to our GOBP betters, a bug, not a feature.

  20. 20
    geg6 says:

    I’ve always hated this mother fucker and I hated him even more when he whined about going Galt. Seriously, like who will miss some pasty golfer? He’s just not that important. Go Galt, asshole! I said.

    But now it looks like he might get forced to go Galt. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  21. 21
    JPL says:

    @efgoldman: Obviously, I was careful not to bring up her preexisting condition, but maybe he should think about others, who are battling cancer. ACA could save their lives.

  22. 22
    Helen says:

    1. I hope he gets the Martha Stewart treatment.

    2. Who does he think is paying for all the cancer research which will most likely cure his wife; Merck?

  23. 23
    BBA says:

    @JPL: Well if they wanted to be able to afford cancer treatment they should have had the foresight to marry a multimillionaire professional golfer.

  24. 24
    aimai says:

    @Baud: Picture of a golf club in white hands crushing a letter of rejection. Voice over intones the words “He needed that tournament!”

  25. 25
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    Fuck, these assholes can NEVER have enough scratch. EVER.

    Time to kick some Ferengi in Plus-fours ass.

  26. 26
    Tim O says:

    I own a business in Phoenix that supplies restaurants, hotels and caterers. I’m friends with many of my clients. One is a caterer who catered one of Phil’s Super Bowl parties. Word around the house that night was the losing $100,000 bet that was placed on the game, by the host. It could have been just a rumor, but I’ve heard stories like that before.

  27. 27
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Helen: He won’t get the Martha Stewart treatment. That was handed out for making donations to the WRONG political party when Rethugs were in power.

    Dems do not do that. They go after actual violations of the law, no mater that whiny bitch Dinesh D’shithead says.

  28. 28
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @pseudonymous in nc: The CEO parasites SAY that, because they feel obligated to, as tribute to sick Galtian ideology.

  29. 29
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @MattF: Or on the desiccated corpse of the shitty grade Z movie star.

    Oh, wait…the grave is monitored on a 24/7/365 (366 leap years) basis. Well, I guess she’ll have to go your route.

  30. 30
    My Truth Hurts says:

    Poor Phil. If it wasn’t for Tiger being so ahead of the pack he would be more recognized as the great golfer he his.

  31. 31
    efgoldman says:

    @My Truth Hurts:

    If it wasn’t for Tiger being so ahead of the pack he would be more recognized as the great golfer he his.

    As we have seen many times over and over, “great athlete” and “consummate asshole” are not mutually exclusive. Pretty common combination in fact.

  32. 32
    Bex says:

    @Helen: Let’s not forget the drug commercials that undoubtedly supplement Phil’s income.

  33. 33
    Patrick says:

    Mickelson went on CNBC and told Maria Bartiromo that CEOs he golfed with were telling him they weren’t hiring because of Obamacare.

    Maybe somebody should inform Mickelson that the correct word is “job creators”, not CEO’s. At least that’s what I have been told by FoxNews/GOP.

  34. 34
    LT says:

    Please seem my three-part series, “Phil Mickelson is a Horrible Human Being.”

    You are welcome.

  35. 35
    AxelFoley says:

    @aimai:

    @Baud: Picture of a golf club in white hands crushing a letter of rejection. Voice over intones the words “He needed that tournament!”

    BWAHAHAHAHAHA

    Well played, aimai. Well played indeed.

  36. 36
    It's Not The Fall, It's The Landing says:

    Phil Mickelson is a greedy, self-regarding prick. I hope something very bad happens to him, soon.

  37. 37
    Older says:

    @pseudonymous in nc: It’s weird about golf. When I was a kid many ordinary folks played golf. My dad, blue collar all his life, went out every weekend with his pals to a large and pleasant city-owned golf course near our house. Apparently in the nearly 75 years since then, it’s become entirely the property of the rich.

  38. 38
    LT says:

    @Older: “Apparently in the nearly 75 years since then, it’s become entirely the property of the rich.”

    Oh no, not so. Plenty of regular folks play. I played for a couple years, with my musician drunk hippie friends for a few years.

  39. 39
    pseudonymous in nc says:

    It’s a good reminder, at least, that to the 0.01%ers, the stock market is just a more respectable form of sports betting, ideally one where you know the outcome of the tournament.

    @Older:

    Apparently in the nearly 75 years since then, it’s become entirely the property of the rich.

    I remember reading a couple of pieces about how it deliberately became aligned with the executive Platinum Flyer Miles class, especially in the US. Perhaps Thomas Frank wrote something? It’s up his street. Anyway, you now have corporate finance sponsoring golf tournaments and corporate financiers hob-nobbing with golfers. The UK and Ireland have their fair share of corporate golf resorts, but there are still municipal courses, and St Andrews Old Course is a public park on Sundays and you can have a picnic in the fairway.

  40. 40
    Fluke bucket says:

    Here’s hoping it turns out he threw a couple tournaments. He’s sure missed enough short putts over the years.

    LOL!! That would explain a lot of those that I was always amazed by. I believe the guy missed more easy putts than any other professional I have ever seen.

  41. 41
    mainmata says:

    Mickleson also whored for some pharmaceutical company about some medicine he has to take so that he can teach little rich kids how to play golf. It’s a cable TV ad. What a sleaze-o.

  42. 42
    Death Panel Truck says:

    @mainmata: It was a med for psoriatic arthritis. It’s some painful shit, but I’ve managed to endure it without taking a Big Pharma drug, one of the possible side effects of which is lymphoma.

  43. 43
    Sloegin says:

    Oh dear, another attack on our Golfian Overlords.

  44. 44
    Arclite says:

    @JPL:

    Because of ACA, Phil’s wife will always be able to obtain health care. Because of ACA, so will other females.

    You assume too much. Like, that he gives a shit about the poor.

  45. 45
    brantl says:

    Michelson moved to avoid taxes, is a millionaire and is now bitching that he has to pay on a course that he used to play for free. He’s just below a tax-cheat on the morality scale. Screw him.

Comments are closed.