Will Someone Find that Last Fucking Horcrux?

The Dark Lord* is still commenting on current events:

Former Vice President Dick Cheney blasted President Obama as the weakest president of his lifetime on Wednesday, following the president’s speech defending his foreign policy approach at the U.S. Military Academy commencement ceremony.

“He is a very, very weak president,” Cheney said in an interview with Fox News. “Maybe the weakest — certainly in my lifetime.”

Yeah, ask Osama bin Laden what a candy-ass Obama is, Cheney, you desiccated, bloodthirsty, death-eating, chickenhawk war criminal. Better yet, shut your fucking pie hole for all eternity and silently thank your master below that you aren’t rotting away in a cell at The Hague.

No one who matters gives a flying fuck what you say. You and your flunky did enough to destroy America. At least have the decency to trouble us no more.

*H/T: Valued commenter Villago Delenda Est

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143 replies
  1. 1
    J.Ty says:

    You forgot “literally heartless”.

    OT: I was late to the gun-shaming thread, but one of the issues with the idea is the whole Herostratus thing/Streisand Effect.

  2. 2
    Rex Everything says:

    Lord Voldemort is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful evil wizard I’ve ever known in my life.

  3. 3
    Belafon says:

    Killing Elizabeth Cheney is harder than it looks.

  4. 4
    japa21 says:

    Betty, I really appreciate your attempt at civility, but trust us, we’re grownups. You can tell us what you really think of Dick the Dick.

  5. 5
    jah says:

    Go fuck yourself, Dick.

  6. 6
    Citizen Alan says:

    The question I’ve always wanted to ask Cheney (as well as Bush, Rice and Rove) is this:

    When you heard that Osama Bin Laden had been killed, did you cry at the death of someone you’d worked so hard to protect and comfort?

  7. 7
    Mary G says:

    Speak it, Betty! What a righteous rant. Almost makes me want to take up smoking again.

  8. 8
    Tokyokie says:

    Decency? From the perpetually obscene?

  9. 9
    TooManyJens says:

    Strong presidents let their vice presidents maneuver them into starting wars, apparently.

  10. 10
    Ash Can says:

    It’s all projection with the right wing.

  11. 11
    Morzer says:

    I must say, I would never have thought of Cheney as desiccated. Bloated and swollen with mephitic corpse-gas and intestinal lard, yes. Desiccated, not so much.

  12. 12
    cckids says:

    A-fucking-MEN.

    Thanks, Betty.

  13. 13
    jl says:

    Man, and that is even in comparison with the Dubster! That is really weak, very weak, very weak indeed, weaker than weakest, and how can a president be that weak?

    Was Cheney alive for Buchanan?

    Or, maybe Cheney was never really alive on planet earth in the sense that we normally understand it, in which case Dick equivocates.

    The Cheney statement raises more questions than it answers, IMHO.

  14. 14
    Lyrebird says:

    Post title WIN!

  15. 15
    Eric U. says:

    the repubs can say what they want, but GW Bush was obviously the weakest prez in Cheney’s lifetime. He let Cheney run the place, until he booted Cheney at the end realizing he was so harmful. But Bush was weak. Hell, he called Obama in to fix the financial crisis at the end. If that doesn’t define weakness, I don’t know what does. Reagan was pretty bad too, given that he wasn’t conscious most of the time and Nancy ran the place.

  16. 16
    Anton Sirius says:

    @Morzer: I think she was referring to his conscience.

  17. 17
    p.a. says:

    In the running for blog post title of the year.

  18. 18
  19. 19
    Belafon says:

    @Eric U.: And a big reason we kept having hijackings during Reagan is that he kept giving into the hijacker’s demands. When Bush 1 put a stop to negotiating, they stopped happening.

  20. 20
    hoodie says:

    Methinks history will judge Lord Cheney very poorly, if it bothers to judge him at all (bucket of warm spit and all that). I imagine Obama will be remembered fondly alongside the more sane presidents, like Eisenhower. Cheney is the Curtis Lemay of his generation, and equally forgettable.

  21. 21
    jl says:

    @Eric U.: For Dub to be weak, in order for Dick to be strong, is not to be weak in the true sense. Then abject and utterly confused weakness is a hidden strength. Perhaps…. the greatest, truest, strength.

    (I’ve been practicing pundit thought. Audition is tomorrow. Wish me luck!)

    Edit: Oh shit: And that…. is ironic. (whew, almost forgot. I want to be a Village political beat reporter too).

  22. 22
    Calouste says:

    The only logical explanation for Cheney’s comment is that he was an undead until his heart transplant and only became alive after that.

  23. 23
    PaulW says:

    Of course, Cheney says this on Fox Not-News, where his opinion will never be challenged and his failures of fear-mongering and inaccountibility will never be questioned.

  24. 24
    NotMax says:

    What incentive is there for him to go away when his utterances are given such prominent coverage?

  25. 25
  26. 26
    J.Ty says:

    @p.a.: I think everybody’s been hunting for the last horcrux for Rick Scott. He’s a decoy.

  27. 27
    scav says:

    Could there possibly be any higher praise than being abso-fucking-lutely the polar opposite of what the Lord Cheney approves of? Gold-plated, better than any Nobel, Hand and Footprint of the Stars, Hang on the Refrigerator Proud Seal of Disapprobation.

  28. 28
    Betty Cracker says:

    @Morzer: Have you seen him lately? He looks like a wizened iguana these days. (No insult intended to wizened iguanas.)

  29. 29
    piratedan says:

    It’s a sad state of affairs that Graveyard Dick is still with us and even more depressing is that newsies still give that rat bastard the time of day much less post what he has to say. When placed into the crucible of foreign affairs Mr. Cheney, you fucked up, methinks that you should simply take a sip of water and stfu.

  30. 30
    Ripley says:

    It’s the inevitability of there being a man so bad that killing him felt good. ~ Hannibal Lecter

  31. 31
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Anton Sirius: Objection. Assumes facts not in evidence.

  32. 32
    Gypsy Howell says:

    I was watching the History Channel’s “World Wars” last night, and who should appear on the fucking screen to give their perspectives on the causes of the war?

    First, Colin Powell (yeah, bad enough)

    then Donald Rumsfeld (wait a minute, are you just fucking with me now?)

    THEN… WITHOUT WARNING… THE DARK LORD HIMSELF DICK FUCKING CHENEY.

    I turned it off.

    Shame on whoever produced the show.

  33. 33
    chopper says:

    why, back in my day presidents would throw a few thousand soldiers into a wood chipper somewhere just to show everyone he has a pair.

  34. 34
    RandomMonster says:

    Is this the same Dick Cheney who basically gave Iran a free hand in Iraq? Talk about foreign policy blunders.

  35. 35
    Roger Moore says:

    I guess he’s forgetting about George Whats-His-Name.

  36. 36
    Felinious Wench says:

    I genuinely think Cheney is on his last legs and will be shuffling off this mortal coil soon. He’s just too physically damaged. I comfort myself with that fact…that his ticker is only going to give him so much time. Soon he’ll get too sick to speak or move, and we will all be spared this nonsense.

    Call me bloodthirsty and cruel, I’m good with that. It’s time for his body to finally wind down. It won’t be long.

  37. 37
    Gypsy Howell says:

    @Felinious Wench:

    I don’t know. He looked pretty fucking spry on the History Channel last night.

    I’m still enraged.

  38. 38
    TooManyJens says:

    @Felinious Wench: He’s a case study in how long a wrecked body can be kept going by the sheer force of malevolence. There’s a JAMA article in this for a doctor willing to think outside the box a bit.

  39. 39
    Morzer says:

    @Betty Cracker:

    He looks fairly relatively undesiccated to my eyes. Malevolent and moronic – yes, toxic and turpitudinous – undeniably, foam-flecked and froth-spittled – no question, but still, I just can’t endorse desiccated here. I’ll report to the FEMA gulag with my Obamaphone and toothbrush tomorrow.

  40. 40
    Betty Cracker says:

    @Felinious Wench: I am generally not the type to rejoice in another human being’s death, no matter how loathsome the person. When Cheney finally takes a dirt nap, I plan to make an exception (unless I get run over by a garbage truck or Walmart semi first…).

  41. 41
    David Koch says:

    Ask bin Laden, Quaddayfiy, and Anwar Al-Awlaki if the President is weak.

    ooops, you can’t.

    To Cheney, strength is when you ignore 6 CIA warnings telling you bin laden is determined to attack in the US using hijacked airplanes and then sit on your ass and read “My Pet Goat” and doing nothing while the attack is underway.

  42. 42
    lukeallen1 says:

    “You attack where you are weakest”
    –Dick Cheney

    I don’t expect Ball Juicers to get that this is what is going on. They never do. Carry on doing EXACTLY what people smarter than you like Dick Cheney want you to do.

  43. 43
    Mike in NC says:

    As we’ve discussed here before, Cheney’s gravestone will serve as a public urinal for eternity.

  44. 44
    raven says:

    @lukeallen1: Fuck you flag wavin punkass motherfucker.

  45. 45
    Josie says:

    Just once before he dies, I would like to see the interviewer say to Cheney, ” Wow! You are so full of shit I hardly know where to begin,” and then ask some really penetrating questions.

  46. 46
    kindness says:

    One day Cheney will find himself shot dead. I won’t shed a tear.

  47. 47
    jl says:

    @raven: I admit to being slow, so not sure whether the respected commenter in your replay is spewing snot or snarkasm. I would appreciate the brief explanation I clearly neither deserve nor will understand..

  48. 48
    TooManyJens says:

    @lukeallen1:

    “You attack where you are weakest”
    –Dick Cheney

    I don’t expect Ball Juicers to get that this is what is going on.

    1. I thought that was Rove, not Cheney.
    2. Pretty sure everybody here gets that, chuckles.

  49. 49
    Felinious Wench says:

    @lukeallen1: Trust me, honey, Dick Cheney is not smarter than me.

  50. 50
    Betty Cracker says:

    @Morzer: I rest my case:

    lizard_cheney

  51. 51
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Ash Can: As always.

    Cheney is another guy who really is overcompensating, a bunch, for small genitalia.

  52. 52
    David Koch says:

    Let me be the first to admit it: President Obama’s strategy for handling Russia and its incursions into Ukraine had seemed to me, as it did to many others, pretty unlikely to succeed.

    Obama dismissed Russia as a “regional power” acting “out of weakness,” but it was the US that looked weak.

    But it also turns out to be working surprisingly well. Russian President Vladimir Putin has over-reached in Ukraine, creating problems for himself so bad that they may force him down as or more effectively than plausible American actions alone might have (although they helped). Putin is hanging himself by his own rope.

    Obama’s strategy of letting Putin hang himself is working

    Strength is looking into Putin’s eyes and calling him “pooty-poot” and then doing nothing, not even sanctions, when he invades and seizes territory in Georgia.

  53. 53
    jl says:

    I will admit that after a brief good start following 9/11, Dub and Dick did decide to wage the WoT in way such that we attacked where we were weakest. And I admit that the approach passeth all understanding, though the results do not.

  54. 54
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    Also, too, /bow to the magnificent Betty Cracker for the ht.

  55. 55
    Sublime33 says:

    I don’t recall Obama requiring Joe Biden being by his side before Congress could talk to him – off the record.

  56. 56
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @David Koch: The problem with the Georgia situation is that Georgia precipitated it. As much as I despise Putin, he was handed a situation where he was the righteous one there.

    Not so much in Ukraine, though.

  57. 57
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Betty Cracker: Cheney is one of a very small number of people about whom I feel that way. Thatcher was another.

  58. 58
    J.Ty says:

    @kindness:

    His body was dead. He could not say why his mind was not.

    He stood in a kind of frozen, sleepless horror while the mist curled slowly through him.

    He looked back down at the him, the ghastly, astonished-looking him-thing lying still and mangled on the ground, and his flesh wanted to creep. Or rather, he wanted flesh that could creep. He wanted flesh. He wanted body. He had none.

    A sudden cry of horror escaped from his mouth but was nothing and went nowhere. He shook and felt nothing.

    So yeah here’s hoping I guess!

  59. 59
    David Koch says:

    Iran has halted its quest for weapons-grade uranium, according to the UN’s International Atomic Energy Agency.

    It also has to dilute or convert its stockpile of this higher-grade uranium, and cease work on the Arak heavy water reactor, which could provide plutonium, an alternative to uranium for bombs.

    Iran ‘halts nuclear weapons quest’

    Strength is fear mongering the country into another unnecessary war that could instead be solved without a single shot.

  60. 60
    MattF says:

    The word for Cheney is ‘evil.’ It’s not a word I use lightly– but I do think he’s in the select company of those whose souls are in Hell while their bodies still walk the earth. I’m not a believer in any particular religion, but I think that evil exists and that we have an example of it right here at home.

  61. 61
    Roger Moore says:

    @David Koch:
    It’s almost as if Obama has some clue of what he’s doing. But that couldn’t be; just look at him.

  62. 62
    NCSteve says:

    I’m ordinarily a “speak no ill of the dead” kind of guy, but the undead are a whole other thing.

  63. 63
    300baud says:

    Wait, I thought the right didn’t want a strong government. You know, states’ rights, local control, drown it in the bathtub. All that. Yeah?

    Also, world’s best blog post title.

  64. 64
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    At least have the decency to trouble us no more.

    “You’ve done enough. Have you no sense of decency, sir? At long last, have you left no sense of decency?” – Joseph N. Welch to another dark wizard in an earlier time.

    Apparently not!

  65. 65
    The Dangerman says:

    Weakest as defined by the asshole that shot his friend in the face and made HIM apologize.

  66. 66
    catclub says:

    @scav: This. When Bush’s popularity was 23%, Cheney was at 11%.

  67. 67
    Commenting at Balloon Juice since 1937 says:

    I heard somewhere last week that scientists have shown that the blood of youths will rejuvenate you and make you healthier, so now there’s a solid theory behind those Cheney child sacrifice rumors.

  68. 68
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Belafon: So she is Nagini?

    I’ve already established that Mary Matlin is Bellatrix Lestrange.

    It really is too bad there doesn’t seem to be a Severus Snape in this entire real life mess.

  69. 69
    David Koch says:

    We have been governed by fear for the last six years, and this president has used the fear of terrorism to launch a war that should have never been authorized.

    It is very important for us to draw a clear line and say we are not going to be governed by fear.

    We cannot continue to do is operate as if we are the weakest nation in the world instead of the strongest one, because that’s not who we are.

    Barack Obama ~ Oct. 30, 2007

    Strength is terrorizing your own people with fabricated color-coded terror alerts to divert attention away from corruption and fuck-up.

  70. 70
    White Trash Liberal says:

    That malignant fuckstick and Conan the Codpiece didn’t have the fortitude to look at the caskets of the soldiers they sent to die over a lie.

    Fuck them in their souls with cocks made of razor wire.

  71. 71
    Patrick says:

    If Obama, who killed bin Laden, is our weakest President ever, then what does that make Bush/Cheney (“deficits don”t matter”)? Those two couldn’t even get close to bin Laden. Hell, they were so far away that they even disbanded the CIA unit designed to catch him.

    So by Cheney’s very own admission, he and Bush are our weakest President/Vice-Presidents EVER.

  72. 72
    TaMara (BHF) says:

    I wish his heart would reject him.

    (and I don’t wish death on anyone, but the man got a fucking heart that could have gone to someone who didn’t send thousands to their death in an unjustified war).

  73. 73
    Amir Khalid says:

    I haz a confused now. I thought the Cheney was a Sith Lord, and Rick Scott was the one who had Horcruxes.

  74. 74
    kindness says:

    Well it appears that there is wide agreement that Cheney is evil. I think the problem is going to be what kind of alcoholic beverage should be served graveside so we can all, with all the honor intended, have full bladders to pay our due respects to Darth.

  75. 75
    Trollhattan says:

    ‘You give me a water board, Dick Cheney and one hour, and I’ll have him confess to the Sharon Tate murders.”—J. Ventura

    That’s what I’m talkin’ about.

  76. 76
    Bobby Thomson says:

    Better yet, shut your fucking pie hole for all eternity and silently thank your master below that you aren’t rotting away in a cell at The Hague.

    They shoot horses war criminals, don’t they?

  77. 77
    Litlebritdifrnt says:

    I agree, best blog post title ever. It made me really chuckle.

  78. 78
    Trollhattan says:

    @Patrick:
    If nothing else, the president can now rightly claim he’s rehabilitated Jimmy Carter’s legacy amongst Republican types.

  79. 79
    BGinCHI says:

    If the worst person in the world is not against you, you are doing something wrong.

  80. 80
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Bobby Thomson: Interestingly enough, Keiltel asked to be shot, but the Allies turned him down. Nope, you’ll hang like a common criminal, not be shot like a soldier.

  81. 81
    SFAW says:

    @Anton Sirius:

    his conscience.

    When talking about The Dark Lord/Dick Lord, isn’t that an oxymoron?

    rotting away in a cell at The Hague.

    One wonders if Holder – at the behest of the Kenyan Mooslim Usurper, of course – brought Cheney up on a “Crimes Against Humanity” charge, would That Motherfucker still think Obama is weak? Actually, I don’t care what he thought, I just want him arrested on the charge.

  82. 82
    Patrick says:

    Do people (and Cheney) remember when some Somali pirates attacked and took over a US ship shortly after Obama took office? When nothing had been after a few hours, FoxNews and their idiots went nuts calling for Obama’s head. Well, just like with bin Laden, Obama did it just right. He actually had a plan (as opposed to Cheney with Iraq) and the pirates were killed and the crew saved. It is rather interesting that FoxNews is giving cheney, a man who has literally been wrong about everything the last decade, such a big megaphone.

  83. 83
    Ash Can says:

    @kindness: This would be perfect, except that it’s so darned hard to get.

  84. 84
    FlipYrWhig says:

    If you are a Republican, you have one definition of strength, and it applies to all areas of human experience: Show Of Force. Showing force is always strong, even if it doesn’t accomplish fuck-all, because that’s the definition of strength, see. Not the doing part, the showing part. This is what they all believe. This, and that Those People are taking their stuff. Conveniently, the one is also a way to solve the other.

  85. 85
    FlipYrWhig says:

    @Patrick: someone should make a movie about that.

  86. 86
    jl says:

    @Patrick: Blowing shit up, killing obscure people half way around the world, and shoveling gobs of money to your U.S. corporate cronies are three weird tricks that always erase failure (if you are the right kind of white man). .Hope I never have a reason to use that wisdom myself, but I guess it’s good to know.

  87. 87
    Suffern ACE says:

    It’s Cheney. Obama is weak because the Saudis and Israelis said so.

  88. 88
    WereBear says:

    Father of Lies.

  89. 89
    David Koch says:

    Strength is lying the country into a criminal war that kills 5,453 coalition troops and 600,000 Iraqi civilians.

  90. 90
    Citizen_X says:

    @Trollhattan:

    ‘You give me a water board, Dick Cheney and one hour, and I’ll have him confess to the Sharon Tate murders.”—J. Ventura

    Huh. Now that you mention it, Governor, where was Cheney when those took place?

  91. 91
    cmorenc says:

    @Citizen Alan:

    When you heard that Osama Bin Laden had been killed, did you cry at the death of someone you’d worked so hard to protect and comfort?

    For Cheney, Bin Ladin was much more useful kept alive than dead, and left nominally free at large in the tribal areas of Pakistan than captured, in order to keep a threatening shadow of a boogeyman over the American public and thereby tamp down resistance to Cheney’s neocon war efforts in Iraq and Afganistan.

  92. 92
    Sherparick says:

    One must always remember, that beneath it all, Cheney is a partisan hack and he is feeding red meat to the Faux News Obama hating base (who hold to completely contradictory, incoherent, views of the President (1) The Constitution breaking, freedom stealing, usurper who is the next Hitler and Stalin combined and (2) a ninety pound weakling who is completely feckless on in dealing with America’s enemies. And of course, Cheney loves to troll us liberals with this crap. God, he is an immoral bastard. I find Tywin Lannister has sweeter personality.

  93. 93
    Citizen_X says:

    BTW, keep flapping your piehole, you twisted old fucker. Keep reminding the nation what happens when you sons of bitches take power.

  94. 94
    GregB says:

    On the bright side, Cheney’s spawn are so odious that his prize petunia Liz couldn’t last more than about two months as a candidate in one of the most conservative states in the Union.

    Congrats Dick, they hate you, they really, really hate you.

  95. 95

    Betty that post was a masterpiece. Most deserved ire in the fewest words.

  96. 96
    rk says:

    Why isn’t he dead yet? They promised us that his artificial heart was going to last only one year. Why is the damn thing still beating!

  97. 97
    David Koch says:

    @Gypsy Howell: it’s worse than you can ever possibly imagine. When they focused on the Holocaust, they didn’t interview Elie Wiesel, or a historian, or a survivor, or even Spielberg, no, they interviewed …. wait for it… Lieberman. Oh fuck. Talk ’bout bias.

  98. 98
    PIGL says:

    @White Trash Liberal: “and you won’t stick your head above the pitch? Because if you do, I’ll tear you into little, little bits and scatter you wide. It hurts a lot.”

  99. 99
    Baud says:

    This just proves that Obama is an exceptionally strong president.

  100. 100
    Eric U. says:

    I will celebrate publicly when this man dies. In fact, the band is warming up as I write this. Fuck decorum

  101. 101
    Morzer says:

    @FlipYrWhig:

    Chickenhawk Down, perhaps?

  102. 102
    burnspbesq says:

    I don’t think very much of Baltazar Garzon and his cockamamie theories of universal jurisdiction, but if someone were to drop Cheney, hog-tied, on Garzon’s doorstep I might be willing to make an exception.

  103. 103
    StringOnAStick says:

    Just ol’ Dick doin’ his part for the midterms. Expect more of the same, though it may not yield the result they are hoping it will.

  104. 104
    Patricia Kayden says:

    “No one who matters gives a flying fuck what you say.”

    Someone cares or Cheney wouldn’t always be running his mouth for our lovely media.

  105. 105
    Patricia Kayden says:

    @Eric U.: Trying to be Christian and not share your sentiments but Dang It! That’s pretty much how I feel.

  106. 106
    cckids says:

    @TaMara (BHF):

    but the man got a fucking heart that could have gone to someone who didn’t send thousands to their death in an unjustified war).

    This. Imagine the heartbreak of finding out your loved one’s heart is keeping Cheney alive. Horror piled upon grief.

  107. 107
    John PM says:

    @Gypsy Howell: I was really excited to watch The World Wars on the History Channel, but not any more. Why did they have Chaney on, to say that the US should have fought with the Nazis?

  108. 108
    Tehanu says:

    Nothing original to add — just “Thanks, Betty,” for summing up my wishes in the post title.

  109. 109
    Cluttered Mind says:

    There’s no point attempting to kill Dick Cheney. He’s died something like 400 times since 2000, but his doctors just harvest new hearts for him. Fortunately the Iraq and Afghanistan War made covering that up a lot easier. Why do you think Bush wouldn’t let photographs be taken of the dead soldiers’ bodies returning home? Couldn’t let people see Cheney’s doctors collecting the hearts.

  110. 110
    Jebediah, RBG says:

    @Eric U.:
    I’ll be glad when he’s off the planet, but if he hasn’t been rendered unto The Hague before he turns to dust, I will be a bit disappointed.

  111. 111
    SFAW says:

    @Citizen_X:

    Huh. Now that you mention it, Governor, where was Cheney when those took place?

    Maybe it was one of his “other priorities” during ‘Nam.

  112. 112
    SFAW says:

    @Jebediah, RBG:

    I’ll be glad when he’s off the planet, but if he hasn’t been rendered unto The Hague before he turns to dust, I will be a bit disappointed.

    Since Obama seems to be OK with Executive Orders, maybe someone could slip in one for his signature, doing just that. Send the same Team that got Osama. He might be a little easier to find than Osama, too.

    “Yes, sir, I swear that he pulled out a gun. Is it my fault my finger slipped on the trigger?”

  113. 113
    Bill Arnold says:

    @rk:

    They promised us that his artificial heart was going to last only one year. Why is the damn thing still beating!

    He has a real (meat) heart now, transplanted in 2012.

  114. 114
    Tripod says:

    Coward.

  115. 115
    WereBear says:

    Hey, even the Dalai Lama was okay with Osama bin Laden being dispatched. I think a little tombstone whizzing will be okay.

    In fact, I bet he’ll be buried in an undisclosed location…

  116. 116
    Mnemosyne says:

    @WereBear:

    True fact: Ronald Reagan’s tomb is monitored by cameras 24/7, and they have big signs warning you about that.

    (I didn’t go to the Reagan Library voluntarily, I had to go for a work event. I don’t think I was the only one disappointed to see that tomb desecration was a no-go.)

  117. 117
    Senyordave says:

    The thing that has always bothered me about Betty Cracker’s posts is the fact that she holds back so much.

    Yeah, ask Osama bin Laden what a candy-ass Obama is, Cheney, you desiccated, bloodthirsty, death-eating, chickenhawk war criminal. Better yet, shut your fucking pie hole for all eternity and silently thank your master below that you aren’t rotting away in a cell at The Hague.

    No one who matters gives a flying fuck what you say. You and your flunky did enough to destroy America. At least have the decency to trouble us no more.

    My wife isn’t into politics much, but she really got a kick out of that post. The sad part is that in a just world Cheney really would be sitting in cell in The Hague. The other sad part is that he reproduced, and his line didn’t end with him.

  118. 118
    WereBear says:

    @Mnemosyne: True fact: Ronald Reagan’s tomb is monitored by cameras 24/7, and they have big signs warning you about that.

    OMG. Now that is incredibly telling, isn’t it?

  119. 119
    lukeallen1 says:

    @Felinious Wench: So which fomer President or Vice President were you? Brain surgeon maybe? Rocket scientist? Still working up to that?

    Just because he’s an evil neocon does not mean he’s dumb.

  120. 120
    JimV says:

    Best, most appropriate post-title ever. My day is made.

    Except for being trapped in the same light-cone with that thing and its ilk.

  121. 121
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @WereBear: They know how much that shitty grade Z movie star is hated outside the Faux bubble.

  122. 122
    Phoenician in a time of Romans says:

    I’m going to react to Chaney’s death in much the same way I reacted to Joffrey’s.

  123. 123
    mai naem says:

    We are talking about Lord Shit Touch Cheney so whatever ShitTouch says you run and do the opposite and you’ll have the Midas touch.

  124. 124
    David Koch says:

    Strength is letting bin Laden escape at Tora Bora.

    Strength is closing down the CIA unit in charge of finding him.

    Strength is telling public, “I don’t know where he is. I really just don’t spend that much time on him, to be honest with you”.

  125. 125
    J R in WV says:

    I am pretty much a pacifist, except for dealing with actual attacks against our home, like 9/11 and 12/7 (pearl harbor) – but Dick Cheney is the criminal I will make an exception for.

    Cheney did things which will humiliate our nation for centuries, if people still speak American English for that span of years.

    He caused civilians to die, and soldiers to die, who could have lived and had children. But because he hated, and caused a nation to hate, and falsified the reality of war for years, he almost single-handedly caused America to be infamous, for having let bin Ladin escape, over and over. What a chump Cheney is.

    It is a shame Obama hasn’t put him into a cell, awaiting a flight to The Hague. Perhaps at the end of his second term Obama will send Cheney and Bush to The Hague, sort of like Bill Clinton pardoning Marc whats-is-name the last night of his Presidency.

    But if President Obama sends war criminals to The Hague to stand trial, that will make our nation appear as we are, the shining city on a hill, not allowing petty criminals to use our proud men to fortify their cheap hatred of … I give up.

    I can’t actually use the English language to describe the opinion I have of Bush and Cheney. They are petty monsters who deserve to be hung like the war criminals they are – not shot like warriors who lost their was. Petty war criminals with no ethics, no morals, no standards of honor.

    Just petty war criminals, like the ruler of Zimbabwe, of Uganda in days past, like the Vichy rulers who hung in the aftermath of WW II.

    Scum. Well rid of scum.

  126. 126
    Weak troll attempt says:

    “Just die already” was too short and pithy, right?

  127. 127
    coin operated says:

    Post title of the year Betty.

  128. 128
    columbusqueen says:

    You rock, Betty.

  129. 129
    David Koch says:

    Cheney and Bush = draft dodgers.

  130. 130
    brantl says:

    The midget with the giant dick (right between his ears) Dick Cheney. The bloodsucking tick that keeps on sucking.

  131. 131
    brantl says:

    @lukeallen1: Eat me twice, you condescending schmuck.

  132. 132
    brantl says:

    @Villago Delenda Est: Donald Rumsfeld is Snape, except Snape ulitmately turned out to be a good guy.

  133. 133
    Paul in KY says:

    I think Liz Cheney is his horcrux.

  134. 134
    Paul in KY says:

    @Villago Delenda Est: Snape was a good guy. Very brave too.

  135. 135
    Paul in KY says:

    @Sherparick: Tywin Lannister was actually competant & he was a nicer guy.

  136. 136
    LAC says:

    @Betty Cracker: when that happy day finally arrives, please give us a list of preapproved words to use.

    Great rant, btw…

  137. 137
    LAC says:

    @lukeallen1: anytime you want to launch your brave ass into a war zone, let us know. We will get the plane and provide the kick out of it for you.

  138. 138
    kindness says:

    @Mnemosyne: Good enough reason to own a Guy Fawkes mask.

  139. 139
    Glocksman says:

    @kindness:

    Weak beer.
    That way everyone has to drink a lot to reach ‘nirvana’ and can insure that Cheney’s plot is nice and fertile.

  140. 140
    Epicurus says:

    The only appropriate response is the same one Cheney gave to Pat Leahy…if anyone should be able to have intercourse with themselves, I nominate Richard Bruce Cheney as the first human to die trying. He’s already screwed the rest of us, time to get to work on his own self. With a rusty rake…

  141. 141
    Jebediah, RBG says:

    @Epicurus:
    I’d settle for making him shower in one of the Halliburton (or was it KBR?) electrocution showers.

  142. 142
    SteveinSc says:

    @japa21: Trite

  143. 143
    slag says:

    I think we do ourselves a disservice by elevating Cheney to Dark Lord status. When we look at him as he is–nothing more than a bitter failure of an old man who could never achieve his greatest ambitions–everything about him makes so much more sense. Pity, rather than fear, is the much more appropriate emotion when considering Dick Cheney.

    Cheney’s shell has shattered and the goo that gave it shape has run out.

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