The American Spectator's nightmare is my dream. pic.twitter.com/DC84UYUGqU
— billmon (@billmon1) May 21, 2014
(And — look at the top left-hand corner — proud racist John Derbyshire is back!)
Apart from dreaming of a better world (i.e., one where J-Darb gets to annoy nobody but his own offspring), what’s on the agenda for the evening?
scav
knitting needles, knitting needles in translation……tricotteurs par ici!
Schlemizel
I’d like this meme that the 99 are going to rise up & extract revenge against the 1 to take hold. Maybe if they believe we really are coming it will scare them into at least trying to not fuck everyone over.
If they don’t I’m OK with this outcome.
Anderson
That is pretty obviously Obama with the executioner’s hood on. These people are nuts.
WereBear
Our cute kitten.
Paws shown actual size.
NotMax
Testing the waters, or opening the cork on the digital genie in Iran?
ruemara
When do we get to put this plan into action? I mean, since they brought it up.
elm
I would prefer if it didn’t come to literal beheadings.
Suffern ACE
Is that Uncle Pennybags they’re leading to the slaughter?
bemused
@WereBear:
Big paws, big ears! How old is he?
I do so love fluffy kitties with a little bulk. Vet said our two could lose a pound but it’s too much fun cuddling kitties that are a bit rotund.
Porco Rosso
My God, the cover looks like Sweden
WereBear
@bemused: 10 weeks. He’s also a total sweetheart.
jl
Oh keeripes. The big bed wetting, by the big rich cry babies, continues.
Betty Cracker
As soon as I wrap up my workday, I plan to make a pitcher of banana daiquiris and have that for dinner! It’s “Make Your Own Goddamn Dinner Wednesday.”
chopper
my response to the cover was ‘when can we start’?
WereBear
It’s ridiculous that they are making a stupid fuss like this when they are so far ahead. Gives a glimpse of how insufferable they would be as despots.
BGinCHI
Why is Ralph Nader the executioner?
BGinCHI
Also, no way the bald white guy hangs with the DFHs.
Unless it’s a rubber mask.
BGinCHI
@Betty Cracker: Banana daiquiris for dinner?
What kind of fucking utopian paradise do you live in?
raven
My niece’s very close high school friend was the woman killed by her actor-husband in LA 2 days ago. Really sucks.
Trollhattan
Seahawks–in The House!
http://mynorthwest.com/292/2526595/Seattle-Seahawks-visit-the-White-House
Helps me recall just how well this year started.
bemused
@WereBear:
He looks like a sweetie. Any idea if he will be a big Maine Coon size boy?
Roger Moore
@WereBear:
They would demand statues of themselves everywhere and require their pictures be hung in every home and office. Not that this is hard to predict, given how many despots demand those kinds of things.
Trollhattan
I see Jimmy Five-head Lileks up there atop the cover with Derbyshire. Oh, the humanity.
Isn’t a cartoon supposed to be self-explanatory? This one, not so much.
Ash Can
So American Spectator is hiring people who are too extreme even for National Racists Online? Awesome.
@WereBear: My goodness, when he grows into those paws and ears he’ll be able to rest his chin on your lap with all four feet on the floor.
Violet
@Betty Cracker: I just had Ben & Jerry’s and Starbucks for lunch. Now, I mean. At almost five in the Central Time zone. No time for lunch during the actual lunch hour.
I’m going to make a stir fry with tons of veggies and garlic and ginger for dinner. I have to keep my immune system strong since I’m now caregiving for both my parents. Both had surgery, dad has shingles. They’re in separate locations. I’m exhausted.
Caregiving is fucking hard work and NO ONE thinks about the caregivers. Tons of questions about how they’re doing–which I really appreciate and so do they–but no one asks after me or even tells me I’m doing a great job or reminds me to look after myself. I know it’s a thankless task, but fucking hell, would it hurt someone to say something nice? My aunt gave me a lecture about how we all get here at some point and I owe it to my parents, etc., etc. It’s not like I don’t know that stuff, but hell, how about a “You’re doing a great job!” just for a morale boost. Sheesh.
Citizen_X
And what is that guy doing with his hand? Doesn’t the artist have any idea how to draw a fist?
Trollhattan
@BGinCHI:
If I knew the ocean was coming, I’d drink blender drinks, too.
raven
@Violet: I think about them. My mom took care of her badly disabled husband for the last seven years of his life and I know it cost her at least two years of her own.
BGinCHI
@Trollhattan: That kind of diet probably explains a lot of shit about FL.
raven
@BGinCHI: congrats
feebog
Needs moar blood dripping from the blade.
WereBear
@bemused: Momma Cat is a Maine Coon mix. I think once he grows into those paws and ears we’ll be well into the teens, pound-wise.
Comrade Dread
I’m not uncharitable. I’d settle for putting them into prison for the rest of their lives.
Or doubling the capital gains tax and putting another tax bracket with a top rate of 90%. Like we had back in the 50’s. When America was a godless socialist hellhole.
Citizen_X
@Porco Rosso:
Or Reagan-era tax rates.
They sure are scared of a book, aren’t they? Gosh, Makers, maybe you should gather all the copies together and, I don’t know, burn them or something.
JPL
@Violet: Your doing a great job and I’m sending internet hugs. You’re right that it’s a difficult job without benefits but some of us understand that it is difficult. You’re a good person.
Violet
The illustrations seems to have only one 1%er heading for the guillotine. Not nearly enough. There should be a line of them all the way to the horizon. Perhaps the event could be held in Davos?
Betty Cracker
@Violet: It is hard, thankless work. Hang in there.
Roger Moore
@Comrade Dread:
Can we just take all their money and make them work at Walmart for the rest of their lives? I’ll even support raising the minimum wage to $15/hour to make it easier on them.
BGinCHI
@raven: Thanks! Will post here about it when it gets closer to launch.
joel hanes
Because having to suffer elimination of the carried-interest deduction and a slight increases in marginal tax rate is exactly the same as being beheaded in a public square.
bemused
@WereBear:
Lovely. I’m a pushover for large kitties.
raven
@BGinCHI: Got it.
BGinCHI
@Violet: Be good to yourself too! You are doing great work.
WereBear
Sooooo, paying their fair share of taxes is just like being executed.
Riiiiiight.
Roger Moore
@joel hanes:
I think I know which one they’d pick if given the option.
StringOnAStick
I’m watching the weather (tornado watch until 8 PM, tornado warning issued 30 minutes ago for parts of Denver). My husband is flying home tonight after a week dealing with his increasingly difficult elderly father and this weather isn’t going to help as far as arrival times go. Probably going to be a really bumpy flight into Denver too. Like he needs that on top of an exhausting week.
We’re so lucky that my husband’s brother insists on caring for their dad, no matter what. We try to offer every bit of support we can but he refuses to even believe that he’s doing something that requires thanks, much less some breaks from it.
JPL
@Roger Moore: They’d be caught stealing before the end of the first day. It’s all they know.
Violet
@raven: Thanks for the kind thoughts. If you’ve been in caregiving shoes or around a caregiver, you know how hard it is.
@JPL: Thanks. It’s rewarding too in unexpected ways. And sometimes unexpectedly hilarious. I’m enjoying getting to spend so much time with my parents and I know how lucky I am to have them. They’re also really appreciative, which is nice. But the last two weeks have been insane. I got home today around 4:30 and that is the first time I’ve been home before 7 p.m. for the last week including the weekend. Last week I was lucky to get home before 10:00 p.m. Then up late sending emails to family. I think I was getting by on about four hours sleep a night.
WereBear
@Violet: You ARE doing a great job!
It’s rough for certain.
Trollhattan
@StringOnAStick:
In Denver? Isn’t that a bit…unusual there? (Am guessing the eastern Colorado plains get their fair share, but whaddoIknow?)
Ash Can
@Violet: I look at what the caregivers and nurses do at the (very nice, small, and personal) facility where my mom lives. They do so much for the residents, and there isn’t enough money in the world to pay them what they’re worth. I don’t know how they, and you, do it. I’m in awe of people like you and them.
eldorado
my diy tumbrel kits business is going gangbusters, for what it’s worth.
Violet
@Betty Cracker: Thanks. I know you know how it is. I’ve been doing some of it for awhile, but when mom had surgery, after dad’s surgery, and then dad came down with shingles while mom was coming home from the hospital it became chaotic. I think I’m just about keeping it under control while not even thinking how all this will be paid for.
Medicare won’t pay for mom going to a nursing facility, of course, because mom wasn’t in the hospital three nights. Fucking Medicare. She can’t go home because dad’s doctor won’t allow it due to his immune system being so low and risk of infection from the hospital–bad bugs running around there. I have NO idea how to appeal that situation and to whom. Medicare? Some of the supplemental insurance? I’m lost.
Ash Can
@raven: Eeeew. What a horrible thing.
Violet
@BGinCHI: Thanks. I am doing my best. I’m getting up early to water my garden. It’s hot where I am and we’re in a drought so I have to or it’ll die. But it’s also therapeutic and I get food. So bonus. I am enjoying the little things like that because they’re all the time I have right now.
@WereBear: Thanks. I appreciate the kind words.
Betty Cracker
@Violet: Jesus, I have no idea, but it seems like there should be some coverage for it since it’s medically necessary. Best of luck figuring that shit out.
Violet
@Ash Can: Thanks. It is hard work and for people who choose to go into it as their career I’m very much in awe. I’m not sure I could do it. I am letting the carers and nurses do some of the stuff for my mom but my dad is still in the independent living situation where they both were before she broke her arm. I have to do more there plus go back and forth multiple times. It’s busy for sure.
Violet
@raven: That really is awful. I caught that headline on something and it seems so terrible. Best to your niece. I’m sure it’s traumatic for her.
SiubhanDuinne
@Betty Cracker:
Did we talk once about the amazing, wonderful banana daiquiris at Bern’s? With real banana as one of the ingredients, not just banana liqueur. The memory of them is making me miss living in Florida, and there are very few damn things that can make that happen, no offense.
Violet
@Betty Cracker: Yeah, I don’t know where to start. I’m still in triage mode–making sure they have their prescriptions filled, taking care of my dad, mom has enough clothes and anything else (she’s new to the nursing facility so of course has nothing there), calling all their doctors and following up, laundry. I was texting with dad’s dermatologist about the shingles last night at 10:30 p.m. It just kind of never ends. But how AWESOME is it that I can text with my dad’s doctor! She’s been great.
I’m putting off the “how do we pay for it” issue for the moment. I just hope we can buy a little time by sending stuff to the insurers and getting doctors to write letters.
SiubhanDuinne
@Violet:
I absolutely know you’re doing a great job, and I urge you to take care of yourself (in a pampering, self-indulgent kind of way). And I remember what it was like when I was taking care of my father for the last couple of years of his life, and how fatiguing that was, and how few people sympathized with me or even tried to get a clue about what it was like to work a full-time job and be on call for my dad. I wouldn’t trade a minute of it, because we grew very close, but it was exhausting and thankless. So I feel ya. Hang in there, Violet.
Glidwrith
@WereBear: Oh, they can’t even deal with the idea of it being ‘fair share’. Did you check out what the cover actually said? Picketty is a cover for CONFISCATION. So now we’re feeding into the whole sovereign citizen/taxes are theft meme…
danielx
IS this magazine cover a roundup of the usual suspects? John Derbyshire, James Lileks, Ken Adelman…I’m only surprised not to see Bloody Bill Kristol. Aside from that, I like the magazine cover just fine. If Piketty’s causing these bastards to lose a little sleep (or a lot), excellent. Evidently all the evidence that this whole capitalism gig isn’t quite working as advertised seems to have passed them by.
They might want to look into yet another volume:
What Went Wrong: How The 1% Hijacked the American Middle Class…and What Other Countries Got Right
SiubhanDuinne
@Violet:
Richard Mayhew might have some ideas.
Iowa Old Lady
The father of someone I know had his knee removed yesterday. I believe it was a replacement to being with and was massively infected. Anyway, they sent him home today and my friend is supposed to be managing his IV bags. That struck me as a little scary for a lay person.
Litlebritdifrnt
@Violet:
If you lived in a sociali***t utopia like Britain you would be paid for being a care giver. At least in the Motherland they understand how much money is saved by social services when family members do the care giving.
workworkwork
@Violet:
I’m right there with you. My wife has M.S. and after her spinal fusion surgery she is wheelchair-bound full time.
Everyone asks how she’s doing. Me, not so much.
However, it helps if you know someone who’s in the same position. When my mother fell ill, my sister Rose was her caregiver and she and I would talk about it. It really did help.
Bubblegum Tate
Oh man, I can’t wait to see what their “Lessons from Mozilla” are! I bet they’re about how Obama is making it legal to hunt conservatives for sport.
shelley
See, if he was President, he’d bomb the VA in a New York minute!
Litlebritdifrnt
@Iowa Old Lady: No shit! My husband had surgery and they sent him home with IV bags and needles and stuff and all I could think about was how people in Bond movies murdered people by putting an air bubble in the tube. Imagine my horror when the first time I hooked it up there were air bubbles all over the place. Luckily for me my next door neighbor is an ex-corpsman and current CNA. I took the whole shebang over to him and had him walk me through it. I still think it is appalling that people are being discharged from the hospital still needing IVs. I mean what the hell, I am his wife, not a doctor or a nurse, why are you putting that kind of stress on me?
Violet
@SiubhanDuinne: @SiubhanDuinne: Thanks. Those who have been there know. It’s rewarding and exhausting and I wouldn’t trade it, as you said, but it can be overwhelming. I’m so lucky to have my parents at all at their ages and also lucky they are really nice and understanding about the whole situation so they make it easy for me. I know other people have ornery and difficult older relatives and that adds to the burden. I feel lucky in so many ways.
I did post in Richard’s thread yesterday about complaining to insurance companies. No one responded so I didn’t get any help there. My time is limited and I don’t know when I can get the chance to comment in one of his threads. I don’t know if he knows about Medicare. That’s a whole other animal.
gelfling545
Just returned from hearing my granddaughter & 9 other high school students present original monologues at a local theater. (Shea’s, if you know WNY at all) I’m very proud & really impressed. I guess I don’t need to say whose was the best.
I, Floridian
@Violet: Sometimes elder care attorneys can be helpful with questions like that–not that, at present, you’re going to feel as if you have time to add one more thing. But if you can it might be money well spent. If you have a local Council on Aging, they might be able to give a rec or maybe they have someone on staff to give advice.
Violet
@Litlebritdifrnt: Are they still doing that or has David Cameron’s Austerity-is-God government done away with stuff like that? I know social services have been cut.
Older relative in the UK who lives in Scotland is getting a carer supplied by the council to visit the house and do stuff. Apparently the carer isn’t very good.
Litlebritdifrnt
@SiubhanDuinne:
I once went on vacation to St. Kitts. One of the tours I chose was horse riding through the rain forests, at the end of the tour the guide went up to a banana tree lopped off a bunch of nanas and then drove me back to the hotel, he slapped the bunch of nanas on the pool side bar top and said “daquaris for everyone”. I have never tasted anything like it before or since.
Josie
@Violet:
I can truly sympathize with your exhaustion and your desire for someone to recognize what you do. My mother is in a facility for dementia patients and we took care of her at home as long as the money held out. We finally had to put her in the facility so that the long term care insurance would kick in. Medicare was no help for her condition. Sometimes it seemed as though even family members did not appreciate the effort it has taken to take care of her and tend to her affairs. You have to know how important your care is and how much your parents appreciate it. Please be kind to yourself as much as is possible and tell people what you need in the way of help.
Violet
@workworkwork: Yep. It’s astonishing how NO ONE asks about the caregivers. It’s like we’re invisible. Seriously, if any of you know ANYONE in a caregiving role, PLEASE ask about them the next time you see them. Just knowing people are thinking of you and respecting what you do makes you feel like a real person who matters, not just a servant.
Eric U.
my motto is, “eat the rich.” It also has the advantage of being my weight-loss strategy when I take my motto literally
pluege
even though you know its their vile, disgusting, indecent way, it’s still amazing to see plutocrats scream “Class Warfare” when anyone mentions that they don’t deserve a fraction of the wealth that they hoard and typically haven’t earned in any meaningful or useful way, but its just good old Motherhood Capitalism when workers aren’t paid a living wage or are thrown out of work altogether by the millions on plutocrats’ whim. Imagine that.
Mnemosyne
@Trollhattan:
Great pictures, but I can hear at least one guy’s mom screaming, Why are you wearing brown shoes with a blue suit?
gene108
@danielx:
I understand Occupy Wall Street gave us a useful term for inequality with the 99% against the 1%, but the bottom wrung of the top 1% are not filthy filthy rich, such that their children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, etc. just live off the trust fund they set up.
Most of those guys still take home a paycheck; a very big paycheck, but they are not independently wealthy.
Who we really want to line up against the wall are the 0.1% and more precisely the 0.01%. Those are the folks, who are throwing a $100 million into getting wing-nut candidate ‘x’ elected for shits and giggles.
EDIT: I just think we need a new nomenclature for those worthy of going up against the wall, when the revolution comes other than the top 1% of earners. It does not pin point those that are truly looting this country.
Betty Cracker
@SiubhanDuinne: We did, and next time I’m at Bern’s, I’m definitely having one. My homemade ones are darned tasty.
Svensker
@Violet:
I know, right? Just remind yourself that you’re doing a good job and, even more importantly, doing the best you can. Try to figure out strategies to give yourself a break, too. Ugh ugh ugh. Big hugs.
Trollhattan
@Mnemosyne:
Heh. And let’s not overlook the no socks whatsoever, and sitting on the White House floor (which I thought his tweet handled well).
Love all the guys who took the time to get their pics with the Lincoln bust.
gene108
@Violet:
On the upper right hand side of this blog there is a little drop down menu called “contact”. It has the names of the Front Pagers on it. Click on Richard’s name and you should get his e-mail ID and you could e-mail him directly.
Schlemizel
Back in the early ’80’s while the stock market was going nuts the heirs to the Rockefeller fortune brought suit against the trust fund managers claiming poor performance. At the time their lawyer claimed that the trust was able to pay only $14 million a year per little maker. They were deeply concerned that the next generation wouldn’t be able to get by on the pittance that would be that pot split even more ways.
I’ll will gladly pull the lever
MaryRC
I don’t believe that Derbyshire was ever fired from the American Spectator — only from the National Review. He also still writes for Taki (a self-referential name if there ever was one), whose commenters regularly revile him and his fellow contributors for not being racist enough to suit them.
Violet
@Josie: Thanks. When you’ve been there you know. I know they really appreciate me and my help. One of their friends called while I was there today doing laundry or printing out their email for my dad or something, and I overheard my dad say to this friend how amazing I’d been. I know they know how hard I’m working for them and they’re really great about it. It’s not them so much as all the family members asking about my parents and not a one saying a nice thing to me. It’s just my “job” in their eyes, I guess. People can really be thoughtless.
Violet
@Svensker: I know I’m doing a good job and I’m doing my best to take care of myself but sometimes there just aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done. The kitchen is a mess but I’m managing to keep laundry turning over at my own house. I’m washing the pots and pans and dishes we need to eat and that’s about it.
@gene108: Yeah, thanks for the reminder. This afternoon/evening is the first break I’ve taken in about two weeks. I can’t quite get my mind together to write an email and I’ve got family emails I need to write first. Posting on Balloon-Juice is so diverting I’m counting it as “self-care” not actual work. I’ll see if I can email him in the next day or so.
Litlebritdifrnt
@Violet: My Mum’s 80 year old fiance is getting paid as her carer right now. Apparently Cameron’s tenticles have not reach that far down.
cckids
@Betty Cracker:
I love it. I’ve got a refrigerator magnet that says “What am I making for dinner? Why, sweetie, I’m making Whatever the Hell I Want, served with a side of Eat It or Starve”.
It has always served me well.
Ahasuerus
@gene108:
How about “the 1% of the 1%”?
SiubhanDuinne
@Violet
Violet, the last thing I want to do is add to your list of “stuff I gotta do,” but you need to find out if you are a candidate for the shingles vaccine. I had shingles — what I think was a reasonably mild case, actually — about five years ago, and no lie, it was the worst thing I’ve ever been through, worse than quadruple bypass surgery, worse than having all my teeth pulled in one go and getting implants a year later, worse than the surgery to remove a couple of benign tumors from my salivary glad. I’m serious, shingles has a name that makes it sound kind of silly and frivolous and not really anything to worry about, but trust me, it is wicked. And it is a contagious disease. So please check with your doctor pronto and get the vaccine if you fit the vulnerable profile and haven’t already.
cckids
@Violet: A-f*cking-Men. As a full-time caregiver, I know where you are at, though I have the “advantage” of having gotten used to this over the past 20+ years.
So many people tell us “I just don’t know how you DO it!”; I want to ask them what the hell else I should be doing? Stick my son in a home to let him die? Maybe you could come over, say for 2-3 hours every 6 months or so. Then my husband & I could go to dinner or a movie without flying one of our kids home from college.
Howard Beale IV
As usual, the American Spectator’s lying through their teeth: it isn’t Class Warfare-as a matter of act, it has never been about class, for the simple reason the 0.01% HAVE NO CLASS. They wouldn’t know what real class was if it walked up and bit their genitals off.
SiubhanDuinne
@Betty Cracker:
Maybe better. I doubt Bern’s has the same awesome bartender as OMG! 40 years ago!
Howard Beale IV
LOL: Someone lost their pet in Palo Alto.
cckids
@Violet: Try appealing to both Medicare and any supplemental insurance. Get your mom’s doctor on your side ASAP, if he/she will go to bat for you it would be the biggest help. Is there a case manager in Medicare like there is for Medicaid? We had some luck appealing to them for our son. No guarantees,and I know, the idea of this fight on top of everything else you are doing is probably just enervating, but if you can find the strength, go for it.
SiubhanDuinne
@Violet:
This is why I like you.
PIGL
@Comrade Dread: I too would be fine with the higher capital gains and marginal rates and estate taxes calculated to end family dynasties. The problem is, in order to do that, we’d have to kill them all, after they’d killed a great many of us. That’s what death squads are for, and America perfected them. They just haven’t been used in North America yet. Against white people.
Violet
@SiubhanDuinne: Shingles is not a contagious disease. A person with shingles can give someone chicken pox if they have not been vaccinated, but that is only through direct contact with the rash. However my dad can’t give me shingles since I’ve had chicken pox. And he can’t give me or anyone else shingles.
Had a long talk with my dad’s dermatologist. She said what we know about shingles has changed tremendously even in the last decade. She’s also mixed on the vaccine. She says it’s not that effective and the best thing to do is to keep your immune system strong.
SiubhanDuinne
@Litlebritdifrnt:
Pretty sure I’m not the only one to have read that initially as “Cameron’s testicles.”
Roger Moore
@Eric U.:
It also has a really great theme song.
Mnemosyne
@Violet:
Could you convince your mom’s doctor to keep her in the hospital for the required three nights, or is it too late for that?
SiubhanDuinne
@Violet:
Ah, thank you. I was either misinformed, like Rick Blaine, or was given correct information which I mangled. Apologies.
Anyhow, I’m really glad you’ve already talked with your dad’s dermatologist about this. Should have known you’d be on top of it.
Violet
@cckids: I think I need my dad’s doctor on my side too because she is the one who said my mom couldn’t come home to the apartment because my dad’s immune system is too low. Right now I’ve only got my mom’s surgeon in the news, but my mom has an immune issue too and I don’t think her doctor who treats her for that wants her in the house with an active case of shingles. I have a lot of work to do but I think it will have to wait until next week. I can’t do it tomorrow or Friday and then it’s the three day weekend. Maybe I can organize that doctor info and phone numbers over the weekend.
Fuck, this is hard.
cckids
@Iowa Old Lady:
Its massively scary the first time you have to do it, but it gets easier :) The first time my son came home with a PICC line & 3 antibiotics I was very nervous, so I took a page from the hospital & kept charts; anything to lessen the load on my tired, overtaxed brain.
Found out it was a piece of cake compared to coming home with a new tracheostomy, respirator + 3 antibiotics. THAT was hairy; I slept on a cot by his bed for a month.
SiubhanDuinne
@Howard Beale IV:
I hope that copter is laughing its ass off.
ETA: FYWP. JUST FY.
raven
@SiubhanDuinne: I got the shingles in my eye and on my forehead when I was in the final stages of my dissertation. Ugh.
J R in WV
@Betty Cracker:
I got dinner in the oven – bacon yukon gold potato cheese dish, with steamed broccoli to come. So now I’m doing a tall gin-n-tonic w lime.
Violet
@Mnemosyne: It’s too late for that. It was too late for that last week when they called me at 4 p.m. and told me they were releasing her. I and the nursing home staff begged the social worker but when the doctor released her there was nothing anyone could do.
cckids
@Violet: @Violet: It is hard, and FSM knows it is lonely. I said your mom’s doctor because she is the one who needs a rehab place or whatever level of care to be paid for, and her doctor would be the one to “prescribe” it, and hopefully advocate for it. If it isn’t too late, the social worker at the hospital where your mom had her surgery might be a good resource (sometimes they are wonderful, sometimes . . . not so much.)
Edit to add: Never mind, just saw your last comment. I’ve said it before, but anyone saying “the US has the best health care system in the WORLD” has never had a prolonged interaction with that system. It has lots and lots of cracks.
Anyway, hang in there, keep caring for yourself, watch the kitten cams when you can. (A belated thanks for turning me on to them, they are wonderful)
shelley
All so true. And if they do notice that you’re overworked and worn down, kind of make it seem like it’s your fault for not taking care of yourself.
Or suggest that if you just take a bubble bath it’ll make everything okay.
Red Apple Smokes
@Violet: I would like to add my name to the list of people that can empathize with your situation. I’m currently helping with care for both of my parents. Mom had a stroke followed by a heart valve replacement and Pops was diagnosed with macular degeneration and had to retire before he was ready (which I guess was sort of fortunate because his plant was closed something like two months later). Between the two of them, the care is pretty much non-stop. I have managed to luck out and have a terrific fiancee whose help has been indispensable, as well as a sister and her fiancee that work just as hard at this as we do (It’s a weird little commune over at our place). I guess my point is that I recently realized that there are a lot of us caregivers out there fighting a daily battle on multiple fronts.
Mnemosyne
@Violet:
Ugh. Cckids is right, though — you need to get your mom’s doctor on-board with getting her into the nursing place. I’m pretty sure they have some kind of “doctor’s orders” waiver that will let you bypass the three nights in the hospital requirement. It sounds like your dad’s doctor has been helpful — would you be able to have him talk to your mom’s doctor and explain the situation?
A quick Google shows that there are several different Medicare advocacy groups — maybe the hospital can recommend one or hook you up with someone?
Violet
@cckids: I was begging the surgeon’s staff to help me with a rehab place but them remembered where my parents live has a nursing section and so went down there. Unfortunately because they didn’t keep her for three nights it’s all self-pay. I’m hoping SOMEONE can help me figure out retroactively how to get someone to cover some of it due to dad’s shingles and mom being in the hospital, etc. Sounds like Medicare won’t but maybe there are other ways. Maybe if the doctors get together or something. I just don’t have the energy to tackle that one at the moment. I think I need to get all the doctors in the loop. Mom has her first follow up post-surgery next week and after that I guess I can start tackling other issues.
I’ve had to put my life completely on hold. I simply can’t do anything for me at the moment. I desperately need to get into one of my doctors for my hip therapy appointment but I’ve had to cancel everything. I hope I can continue to drive and walk. Ugh.
JustRuss
@Anderson: Did not catch that at first glance, just wondered why the dude in the suit was hanging out with all the DFHs. Now that you say it, it is obvious it’s Obama. Nuts indeed.
cckids
@Violet:
Oh, holy smokes. Hang in there. I know it isn’t much, but sending internet hugs & care your way. Adding a vote for the Medicare advocacy groups mentioned above. Having someone who knows the system from the inside is powerful.
Violet
@Mnemosyne: Thanks for letting me know that. I just googled it too. Really, I’ve been in triage mode for the last week or so when mom was released–that was Thursday. We had to scramble even to find a place for her to stay. It was chaos. I haven’t been able to do much but just keep things going. I did take Sunday afternoon off to get a few things done around my house–I mean life keeps happening and I have to do some things just to keep my life going. And today is the first time I’ve even been home before 7 p.m. in about two weeks. My phone is blowing up all the time with communications with various doctors and learning how everything works. Finding an advocacy group just fell down the list.
Our system is really broken. It would save SO MUCH MONEY if caregivers were available to families at times like this.
Mnemosyne
@Violet:
Crazy thought — does your employer offer any “employee assistance” type of programs? They usually get grouped under mental health, but not always. If not, see if your health insurance company has a “patient advocate” or something like that — they may be able to track down a referral to a Medicare advocate for you.
Violet
@Mnemosyne: I don’t think employers work with Medicare much. Once you reach that age they’re happy to have you on the government insurance. It’s worth a try though.
joel hanes
@Violet:
it’s all self-pay
If someone with the requisite time and know-how would set up a PayPal or equivalent for Violet’s mom’s short-term needs, I’d hit it.
Howard Beale IV
@SiubhanDuinne: At least my flesh-n-blood feline (BJ Calendar Nov 2013) is chipped.
Mnemosyne
@Violet:
They probably won’t have a Medicare person of their own, but if you have a program like that (it’s usually called an EAP, or Employee Assistance Program), they basically exist to do referrals for things like child care and elder care.
Howard Beale IV
@PIGL: Actually, there’d be one thing that would put the screws to that post-haste: an anti-repatritation act.
You moved your money overseas? Sorry-you can’t bring it back in the US. Since the NSA knows all monetary movement, they’re screwed if they try to bring it back in.
Violet
@joel hanes: Oh, gosh! Now you’re going to make me cry. I really think we’ll be okay because I think it’s just going to be short term and we can cover it. I hope. I have to talk to my dad about finances and he’s not in a position to do much about that right now because he’s so tired. I hope the retirement community will give us some leeway because we’re all dealing with a crisis. My parents have been there quite awhile and hopefully that will give them some cred and buy some time.
I really appreciate it but I’m sure people who are more in need that we are will come up–or animals–and I think the money is better used elsewhere. If we find we are desperate I’ll reach out. You are so kind to suggest it.
Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
@MaryRC: And Derbyshire’s piece is apparently called “Consciousness Reconsidered.”
So, I’m guessing it’s something like, “Maybe I’d make more sense if I was unconscious.”
lafcolleen
@Violet: Violet, have you been in touch with a local senior center? Here in the Chicago area, senior centers get $ from the Older Americans Act for services including support for caregivers. A center may also help you find resources to deal with your parents’ insurance / payment issues.
Violet
@lafcolleen: No I haven’t been in touch with anyone. I’ve hardly seen my own family–well my parents but not my family. I’ve just been in triage mode. I live in a red state where there aren’t many services so I don’t know if we’ve got the good stuff like you have in soshulist Chicago. I’ll look into it, though. Thanks.
J R in WV
@Violet:
My Dad lives about 90 minutes hard driving from where I worked when he fell and broke his thigh up high, Joint replacement while he was on chemo for CMML leukemia. He was taking a clinical study drug, and NO rehab center would accept him on an experimental drug.
So I took care of him over night, fixed dinner took him to appointments etc. Thank FSM we found a lady to spend days with him so I could go to work most days. I would get up at 6, make sure he took his drugs (so many!) and take off for work, stop for gas and a red bull.
Work a hard 9 hours, get gas and a red bull, drive to his place, fix dinner, make sure about evening drugs. Once a week Mrs J R would go up in the evening and spend a night with him, and once a week the lady helping us would spend the night with him. One day each weekend I could go home to be with the critters and the Mrs.
So I know about caring for a damaged family member. Other times too, won’t go there, no point. So hard. My heart is with you! Take of yourself as best you can. Maybe just a couple afternoons a week someone from a group can come by and relieve you to go nap, walk, swim, library, something different.
Best of luck, V! Best wishes too!
PIGL
@Howard Beale IV: Good point. State power is overwhelming, and even more so in the digital age. If the engines of state security were aimed at these people, their power would be broken pretty fast. And I imagine evidence sufficient to put them away for quite a long time under your RICO act would be pretty easy to obtain as well. If I can lose my house for selling a joint, the Kochs and Mellons and the like could surely lose their fortunes for subverting representative democracy.
JoyfulA
@Violet: A nursing facility ought to have a medical social worker on staff. A large part of that job is to straighten out your sort of problem.
Do I recollect that you’re in Pennsylvania? If so, your (better, your parents’) county also has people on staff charged with helping older people, particularly those who can stay in their own homes, although I understand Gov. Corbett’s cut that money, too.
Joseph Nobles
Someone front page TNC’s “The Case for Reparations” already. Sure, it was just posted within the hour, but that’s no excuse. Jiminy Cricket, it’s spectacular.
http://www.theatlantic.com/features/archive/2014/05/the-case-for-reparations/361631/
Mnemosyne (iPad Mini)
@Violet:
One last thing — get a cleaning person, if only temporarily. If there’s some kind of community center with a bulletin board, there should be a bunch of ads. The last thing you should be stressing about right now is housework. Let someone else do the dishes and laundry for a while.
Original Lee
@Violet: I co-sign the good advice here. Really really really make sure you have time for yourself, and some down time on a regular basis. My mom was my dad’s sole caregiver for the last seven years of his life. He had Lewy Body Dementia, which is sort of like having both Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s at the same time. She was with him almost 24/7, even though she had a companion, a cleaning lady, and (for the final year) a complete nursing home staff to help her out. My siblings and I came and stayed with them every other weekend for the last three years (rotating duty for us) to give her a respite. She had a massive stroke ten weeks before he died because she ran herself into the ground being with him. You do not want to follow that path. It’s totally OK to make sure you’ll be around after they’re gone and still able to do the things you want to do.
EthylEster
Also, too:
Stop Looking for Reagans
AND
The Gipper In Iceland