Worth a Thousand Words on the Unregulated Free Market

role_model
This is the June cover of Reason magazine (via). Res ipsa loquitur.

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149 replies
  1. 1
    Walker says:

    You know they really wanted to keep the original finger.

  2. 2
    scav says:

    oh the delusions.

  3. 3
    Keith P says:

    Is that Jonah Hill showing his support for Iraqi elections while his sister is complaining that her Uggs don’t match the rest of her outfit?

  4. 4

    some people say that’s Jonah Hill. I say it’s a younger, slimmer, glibbed out Chris Christie.

  5. 5
    shelley says:

    Always glad to see a magazine cover with an illustration rather than photo.

    Signed, Shelley, freelance drawer-er.

  6. 6
    Bobby Thomson says:

    Shouldn’t that parasite maker be out doing hookers and blow creating jobs?

  7. 7
    joeyess says:

    @ranchandsyrup: Exactly my first thought….. “why is Chris Christie playing a video game and who and why is that girl mad at him?”

  8. 8
    NotMax says:

    Testing the waters before releasing Grand Theft Bundy?

  9. 9
    Cassidy says:

    Shouldn’t that be a basement?

  10. 10
    Hunter Gathers says:

    I know I always ignore hot women in their underwear and sexy boots while I play my video games. Who wants actual human interaction when I can digitally waste a 12 year old while dropping N-bombs?

  11. 11
    Trollhattan says:

    Where’s the frickin’ AR, man? I vote: “fake.”

    Why does this magazine exist? Vanity press? Who’s the Sugar Daddy? Does anybody still subscribe to magazines?

  12. 12
    Lit3Bolt says:

    The only error is that girl is way too hot to be his mom.

  13. 13
    scav says:

    @Hunter Gathers: Don’t forget the pin-stripe jammies with lapel pins. Those bring all the hot babes to one’s doorstep, doing their wimminz pout that you’re not sharing your manly essence freely enough with them.

  14. 14
    Betty Cracker says:

    The illustration would be far more accurate if it were a crabby mom confronting her Galt-wannabe son in his basement lair.

  15. 15
  16. 16
    joeyess says:

    The random-call phone poll focused on the 16 percent of its 2,014 American respondents who self-identified as “frequent” gamers. When asked to identify their political affiliation, the gamers were more likely to call themselves independent (55 percent) versus non-gamers (41 percent), while fewer called themselves Republican (15 percent of gamers versus 26 percent of non-gamers). Both populations were relatively even about identifying as Democrat, though independent gamers were more likely to lean Democrat when pressed to pick a side. In addition, the gamers were much more likely to describe themselves as liberal than non-gamers (32 vs. 21 percent), and less likely to describe themselves as conservative (17 vs. 33 percent)

    All of this data leads us to the obvious conclusion that they’re probably or could be persuaded to call themselves “Libertarians” if we here at Reason Magazine could guarantee them they’d get laid more.

  17. 17
    Violet says:

    Nice that the man is the one with the “real job” (suit indicates “real job”) and the woman is clearly a shrew because she’s yelling at him. He has priorities. Doesn’t matter how whorish you dress, the Real Man is going to do what he needs to do. You’ll have to wait, bitch.

  18. 18
    Tracy Ratcliff says:

    @Trollhattan: Note the 3-d printed .22 to the left of the 4-loko.

  19. 19
    Jay in Oregon says:

    @Lit3Bolt:
    No, it’s his nagging bitch of a wife/girlfriend. KnowhatImean, bro? /fistbump

  20. 20
    Punchy says:

    They couldn’t make her jubblies any bigger? It’s a damn cartoon, after all. Why not go all out on the front junk?

    Also, what’s that white thingy by his right foot?

  21. 21
    aimai says:

    There’s so much subtext packed into that picture that I expect an entire Ph.D. could be written on it–but not by me. I’d read several accounts this morning on the net but nothing prepared me for the impact of the real thing. I presume that the person tasked with producing it either killed themselves immiediatly after turning in the piece or ran off to enjoy their ill gotten gains in comfort, unable to believe their luck.

  22. 22
    Trollhattan says:

    @Tracy Ratcliff:

    I do declare, I totally missed that. Or thought it a pneumatic nailer.

  23. 23
    mattH says:

    I believe this is the original, just to give you an idea of what they are basing their issue on.

  24. 24
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Hunter Gathers: Well, when you put it that way, the girl can’t compete.

  25. 25
    Violet says:

    @Trollhattan: According to RationalWiki, it’s bankrolled by the usual suspects including the Kochs and Scaife foundations.

  26. 26
    Amir Khalid says:

    @Keith P:
    Yeah. Why is she wearing Uggs in shorts-and-halter-top weather, in the first place?

  27. 27
    Baud says:

    Walter “Dudebro” Mitty.

  28. 28
    Sophist says:

    I like that out off all the characters in GTA V, they chose that tool as their stand-in. Why not scrappy small business owner Trevor Philips? He supports the 2nd amendment and is always fighting against intrusive government regulations that harm his business. It’s perfect.

  29. 29
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Cassidy: “Gay is the only adjective I know”.

    Damn, that’s so true.

  30. 30
    Tara the Antisocial Social Worker says:

    I give up. How is the woman (who appears to be freezing) “freer and having more fun?”

  31. 31
    Brian R. says:

    Yeah, that guy definitely looks like he’s having “more fun” than … something.

  32. 32
    Culture of Truth says:

    Do most of these dudes play Nintendo in a suit and tie?

  33. 33
    Violet says:

    @Amir Khalid: Women wear Uggs and shorts or short skirts in warm weather all the time. Looks ridiculous. Don’t think it’s done for comfort.

  34. 34
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    My first glance at that and I thought that the guy was supposed to be Al Gore. He invented the Internet, you know…

  35. 35
    Seanly says:

    “We were most surprised by the idea that gamers, even though they identify as liberal and progressive regardless of their age group, were against government regulations of what people could do with their own bodies and their own lives,” story co-author Scott Shackford told Ars

    Since when were liberals or progressives into controlling what people can do with their bodies & lives? Aren’t we the ones who are for freedom of choice & more sensible drug laws? The government regulating how much arsenic a corporation can dump in a river has nothing to do with personal freedom.

  36. 36
    scav says:

    @Amir Khalid: Could be the other way round, halter tops being worn in ugg blizzards: pudgy and other men’s fantasies being what they are. I Dream of Jeannie 21st C. Kudos, maybe?, to being at least self-aware enough to represent selves as pudgy, pale and indifferent to real world opportunties, focussed instead on games they can totally control.

  37. 37
    WereBear says:

    @Culture of Truth: It’s meant to signal that HE’s a Manly Man with a Real Job and plays video games for the intellectual stimulation. Man.

    Mind you, I’m both a non-gamer (since the 80’s — I rocked Robotron back in the day) and very supportive and admiring of gamer culture. I think creating virtual worlds is Teh Awesomest.

    I just don’t have time.

  38. 38
    Tractarian says:

    I’m gonna say this particular res could use a bit more loquitation, if you’ll excuse my lack of Latin training.

    In other words, what is the point of this post (other than to point and laugh)

  39. 39
    Amir Khalid says:

    @Violet:
    I know. Sometimes here in Kuala Lumpur I see a young woman wearing Uggs with Daisy Dukes and a T-shirt. I tell you, I would not want to be in the room when she took off her boots.

  40. 40
    Tara the Antisocial Social Worker says:

    @Seanly:

    Yes, exactly. Not really complicated, unless you think corporations are people.

  41. 41
    Trollhattan says:

    @Violet: Ugh, so predictable. Who was Huckabee really referencing with his “Uncle Sugar” line?

  42. 42
    scav says:

    @WereBear: Which is why he’s sitting on a mattress at home in mid day. Real jobs are totally like that.

  43. 43
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Seanly: There you go, bringing rational analysis to the situation again.

    The liberals are not the ones demanding vaginal probes of women who have the audacity, the sheer temerity, to exercise agency with regard to their own bodies.

    That’s everyone’s favorite champions of freedom, Paul pere et fils.

  44. 44
    Rob in CT says:

    That’s just… amazing.

    There’s so much ridiculousness packed into a single illustration.

  45. 45
    jl says:

    @Seanly: Well, putting that excerpt together with the cover illustration, seems like a fantasy alternative history of some kind. Why is the fat doofus playing the game in a business suit? Maybe it is one of those assassin games where the main character runs around in a business suit. But, the guy’s head is not shaved.

    Endless puzzles in this odd piece of journamalism.

  46. 46
    MomSense says:

    If ever one needed proof that libertarianism appeals to white males with an emotional maturity level of a thirteen year old-this cover is it.

  47. 47
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Trollhattan: Uncle Sugar = Uncle Sam. Heard that all the time when I was in the Army.

  48. 48
    joeyess says:

    @Tractarian: That’s the only point. And it is funny and I am pointing, so…….

  49. 49
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Tractarian

    : In other words, what is the point of this post (other than to point and laugh)

    Isn’t pointing and laughing more than enough for you?

    It’s always a good time to mock the fuckheads of Reason.

  50. 50
    Belafon says:

    @Violet: All they’re missing is a sword.

  51. 51
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Amir Khalid: How do young women manage to make it home alive in a majority Muslim country wearing an outfit like that?

  52. 52
    WereBear says:

    @scav: He totally works from home! The duds are for skyping!

  53. 53
    BGinCHI says:

    Cole made the cover!!

    Congrats dudebro.

  54. 54
    dmsilev says:

    One does of course have to read the accompanying article Games Every Libertarian Should Play.

    Bioshock was listed. Which, if you know anything at all about that game is just straight-up hilarious; the entire setup of the environment in Bioshock was “what if we set up an Objectivist-model society? Let’s explore the oh-so-many ways in which it will collapse.”.

  55. 55
    Amir Khalid says:

    And another thing. Who the hell dresses up in a suit just to sit around smoking from a bong and playing video games? And what is the raised index finger (as opposed to the middle finger in the original illustration) meant to signify?

    Okay, that’s two things.

  56. 56

    I’m confused. He’s in a suit playing video games while smoking a bong, obviously slacking off at work, and into the bargain it looks like his girlfriend/wife is pissed OFF as hell. This is the glorious new Libertarian future? Being unproductive at work AND relationships?

    I must be missing something.

    Also, wake up and smell the white male privilege. If it were a black guy doing that there’d be calls for yanking his food stamps and hand-wringing about irresponsible black fathers.

    Jesus but these people annoy the hell out of me.

  57. 57
    Someguy says:

    They got you to talk about their magazine, dumbasses… You been trolled.

    Chummed may be a better term for it.

  58. 58
    Trollhattan says:

    @Villago Delenda Est:
    Somebody needs to throw that shit back in Huck’s face–the Kochs are the real Sugar Uncles, creating a fake self-supporting world from which to push their hollow philosophy that the The Free Markets (pbut) are the Onliest Goodest Things on the Planet.

    A “libertarian” magazine that can’t survive on subscriptions and ad revenue is as hilarious as Rand dying while on Social Security and Medicare. Someone should tell Fonzi.

  59. 59

    ALSO dude in the picture needs to go on a diet.

  60. 60
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Amir Khalid:

    And what is the raised index finger (as opposed to the middle finger in the original illustration) meant to signify?

    “Just one more turn. Just one more turn. Just one more turn. (repeat for the next 36 hours)”

  61. 61
    Yatsuno says:

    Uhh…

    I got nothin’.

  62. 62
    Francis says:

    So the quintessential free American is a grossly overweight white male who works a part-time job (the sun is shining) that requires a suit, smokes dope, drinks a beverage that is poisoning him, has tried to 3-D print a weapon he has no idea how to use and lives with his hot sister who he treats like shit.

    Is this Freddie [BONERS]? A recent Libertarian-party graduate from a Colorado law school back from a half-day shift doing doc review?

    Reason: Driving women / minorities / white males with a modicum of intelligence and/or empathy to the Democratic Party since its first day of publication.

    Really, what else can you say about this cover if you’re a liberal than “thanks”?

  63. 63
    BGinCHI says:

    @Southern Beale: Cole is just big-boned.

  64. 64
    Amir Khalid says:

    @Villago Delenda Est:
    You see young women dress like that in the cities, e.g. KL, which unlike the rural areas in Malaysia are majority non-Muslim. Younger, more liberal local women and foreigners.

  65. 65
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Trollhattan: The Kochs, like the rich at all times, hate actual free markets. This is indeed one of the themes of The Wealth of Nations, the worlds most cited but least read work, running neck and neck with the Bible in that competition.

  66. 66

    I wear Uggs. In the winter.

    From my cold, dead feet, y’all. Ain’t giving them up.

  67. 67
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Amir Khalid: Ah. Western devils have got to them.

    Seriously, not surprising that the urban areas would be like that.

  68. 68
    BGinCHI says:

    @Villago Delenda Est: Don’t forget Ulysses and your ex-girlfriend’s novel manuscript about a woman and her cats.

  69. 69
    Alex S. says:

    @mattH:

    Hehe, good catch.

    I guess women can’t be libertarians? There’s almost no difference between libertarians and dudebros? Reason is mostly read by overweight pot-smoking gamers?

  70. 70
    scav says:

    @WereBear: Ah, the VR three loko martini networking while crashing cars power lunch. No wonder I’m such a failure in the business world! So maybe that the nagging shagging secretary in the doorway?

  71. 71
    kc says:

    Is that intentional self-parody?

  72. 72
    Chyron HR says:

    I like how the enormous, sausage-like finger our hero is holding up serves to emphasize his morbid obesity. Truly this is a man for all seasons.

  73. 73
    Howard Beale IV says:

    This has to go down as one of the most absurd magazine covers ever.

  74. 74
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Alex S.:

    Reason is mostly read by overweight pot-smoking gamers?

    Dude, they have no time for reading Reason. There’s pot to smoke, pizza and cheetoes to snarf, PBR and Mountain Dew to guzzle, and some new game has just launched!

  75. 75
    kc says:

    @Cassidy: Yeah, and his mom looks kinda young.

  76. 76
    Violet says:

    @Southern Beale:

    Also, wake up and smell the white male privilege. If it were a black guy doing that there’d be calls for yanking his food stamps and hand-wringing about irresponsible black fathers.

    Exactly. Imagine if the two individuals pictured were black. The entire Reason readership–all fifteen white men–would completely lose their shit. CNN might even stop covering the missing plane long enough to discuss “Is Racism Real?”

  77. 77
    scav says:

    @BGinCHI: Isn’t the local term “flouffy”?

  78. 78
    kc says:

    @Tractarian: Pointing and laughing is enough for me in this case.

  79. 79
    jl says:

    The bed also seems to be made. A lot of odd things do not add up. Or maybe that demanding no-fun chick made it for him, because, well, he seems important

    Well, looks like people are having a lot of fun in that pic. At least that fat doofus would be having fun it were not for the dumb girl.

    He needs a man cave. I was going to say boys only treehouse, but, look at him… if got up into the tree house without breaking the tree, he would fall out of it before he got the game started.

  80. 80
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Amir Khalid:

    Why is she wearing Uggs in shorts-and-halter-top weather, in the first place?

    I have asked myself that many a time when I see teenagers wearing that exact getup at the mall in 100+ degree weather. All I can figure is, it’s A Fashion Thing that I’m too old and too unhip to understand.

  81. 81
    Chyron HR says:

    You laugh, but when was the last time you got double XPeez for talking to a girl?

  82. 82
    Trollhattan says:

    @Villago Delenda Est: True. Am sure they tell their acolytes “Just work hard and persevere, and you can be richer than we are!” only to leave out the little detail about Step 1: be born to a wealthy industrialist.

    Was it Molly Ivins to coined “Born on third base thinking you hit a triple.”?

  83. 83
    jl says:

    @Alex S.:

    ” Reason is mostly read by overweight pot-smoking gamers? ”

    Maybe they read it for the pictures. Ever think of that… huhhhh?

  84. 84
    hoodie says:

    The unintentional message is hilarious: Libertarians are really just College Republican assholes who smoke weed and pose as gamers and play with plastic guns. Who the fuck wears a suit when they’re gaming? Would any gamer in his right mind ask a hot girl to wait a minute? Not any gamers I know.

  85. 85
    Violet says:

    @Chyron HR:

    I like how the enormous, sausage-like finger our hero is holding up serves to emphasize his morbid obesity.

    His finger is fat but it ain’t long. Not exactly a great selling point. No wonder the woman in the doorway is annoyed.

  86. 86
    Alex S. says:

    @ranchandsyrup:

    I think they’re preparing a Christie campaign with this: “It’s ok to be an asshole. Just admit it and vote for another one.”

  87. 87
    Tone In DC says:

    @Amir Khalid:

    I know. Sometimes here in Kuala Lumpur I see a young woman wearing Uggs with Daisy Dukes and a T-shirt. I tell you, I would not want to be in the room when she took off her boots.

    LULz.
    Been there, done that. In the summer, here where it’s routinely 90 degrees and about 85% humidity. Man…

    As for the artwork, I’m still amazed they left the bong there.

  88. 88
    jl says:

    And where is fatso’s sammich? Why hasn’t she made one?

    No stains on the suit, so he hasn’t had one yet.

  89. 89
    jl says:

    @Tone In DC:

    ” they left the bong there ”

    Could be the super hi tech gamma ray powered nuclear flashlight the guy invented, fatso being a shaker and maker and all.

  90. 90
    Violet says:

    @Tone In DC: Having the bong in there is part of the point. Reason is Libertarian and they’re all about legalizing weed.

  91. 91
    Grung_e_Gene says:

    Oh Gawd… This image contains so much pathology as to be an exaggerated caricature.

    The main problem with Libertarians, who are overwhelmingly young white males, an overwhelming majority of whom believe that no woman should ever get an abortion, who could care less about women’s issues and declare themselves Libertarians as an expression of the fury that White Male Privilege no longer holds Supremacy in America.

    How’s your principle of Zero Aggression going to hold up when David Koch dumps 4000 tons of Petcoke next to your house one day? Who will you turn to?

    And therein lies the whole tale of Libertarianism. The Young White (Protestant) Males can not envision a day when the Corporate Plutocracy treats them the same way it treats minorities and women.

  92. 92
    chopper says:

    @Francis:

    the irony is, the first time he tries to fire that 3-d printed gun it’s going to explode in his face, and his sister is going to have to drop him off at the ER where he’ll get treated on the taxpayer’s dime (cause you know this shitheel won’t sign up for health insurance to spite the uppity negro).

    ah, freedom!

  93. 93
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Grung_e_Gene:

    The Young White (Protestant) Males can not envision a day when the Corporate Plutocracy treats them the same way it treats minorities and women.

    Indeed, they imagine that THEY will be the new feudal lords of a post-government-oppression libertarian/objectivist FREEDUMB society.

    They are profoundly mistaken in that notion.

  94. 94
    chopper says:

    is this the cover of Reason or Griefer Monthly?

  95. 95
    Mike in NC says:

    @dmsilev: Peter Suderman, husband of McMegan, calls BioShock an “homage to Rand”. Lay off the peyote, Pete!

  96. 96
    Tone In DC says:

    Reason is Libertarian and they’re all about legalizing weed.

    So… the Jonah Goldberg wannabe (that’s something to aspire to) in his Joseph A. Bank suit is sitting on his bed, playing GTA V, with his weed, energy drink and such. Ignoring his wife/girlfriend/roommate.

    This magazine must be truly inspired. I am sure I’ll read it some point in the next few millennia.

  97. 97
    Belafon says:

    @jl:

    And where is fatso’s sammich? Why hasn’t she made one?

    He forgot to say sudo.

  98. 98
    Xecky Gilchrist says:

    The woman’s outfit is understated (!) Electric Daisy Carnival-chic. Not the sort of scene I’d associate game addict Young Republicans with.

  99. 99
    Violet says:

    It’s interesting if you compare the original and the Reason cover. In the original the woman has slightly softer features and is more attractive. On the Reason cover they’ve given her thinner lips and an angrier expression. They’ve lightened both her hair and the necklace she’s wearing–it’s now quite hard to see the necklace. On the Reason cover she looks much more the shrewish harridan bothering the Hardworking Real Man while he does Important Things.

    He’s also been changed–given a more furrowed brow and looks older. Is that because of his Real Job and he’s such a Responsible Member of Society?

    Edit: Forgot to add they’ve changed which finger he’s holding up. I guess guns and pot and scantily dressed women are okay on the cover of Reason, but giving the finger is too much.

  100. 100
    Calouste says:

    Sexist illustration for an industry well known for its issues with sexism in both its content and customer base. Sums things up quite nicely.

  101. 101
    srv says:

    You liberals, always judging a book by its cover.

  102. 102
    Lyrebird says:

    @Tone In DC: Well I’m glad the OP (or original scanner) clipped off their address for privacy, but it hides the fact that the skin mag in the original has been replaced by a copy of… Reason!

    Really really looks more like a Mad Magazine (tongue-in-cheek) cover than something anyone would emulate.

  103. 103
    jl says:

    @mattH:

    ” I believe this is the original, just to give you an idea of what they are basing their issue on. ”

    Thanks. I was wondering what this ‘original’ was that commenters where talking about.

    But, the bed is still made, and no piles of dirty close (the sock on the floor is too weak to be taken seriously).

    All evidence indicates a culture so lost in several fantasy worlds that they are completely out of touch with reality.

    Edit: still no sammich, and the chick in the poster has some clothes on. Fantasy.

  104. 104
    srv says:

    @jl: This is a man who hasn’t gone to bed because he’s been working on a billion dollar multi-national project fueled by nothing but Four Loko and a computer game, and his interrupting wife cannot be bothered to even make some pancakes before he jets off to Beijing to close the deal.

  105. 105
    p.a. says:

    Dear Mr. Welch,
    Just a heads-up; your graphics department has apparently been hacked by The Onion.

  106. 106
    Alex S. says:

    @Violet:

    Also, the game controllers. Are they from different companies?

  107. 107
    KG says:

    who plays video games in a three piece suit, complete with neck tie still fastened? I mean, even if you’re at Dave & Buster’s after work, you’ve dropped the coat and at least loosened the tie, right?

    ETA: and dress shoes at home?

  108. 108
    Violet says:

    @Alex S.: Hmm…I wonder why they changed that. I love how in the original drawing he’s in jeans and a short-sleeved sports jersey that lets us see his tattoos. In the Reason cover version he’s all dressed up in a suit and tie.

    The original drawing makes a lot more sense.

    Edit: I’m spending way too much time on this, but the magazine on the floor in the original has a fantastic title: “MILF Alert”. Heh.

  109. 109
    TooManyJens says:

    @Amir Khalid:

    And what is the raised index finger (as opposed to the middle finger in the original illustration) meant to signify?

    Maybe he’s hushing the (shrill!) woman in the picture so he can mansplain something to her.

  110. 110
    sensesfail says:

    @MomSense:

    If ever one needed proof that libertarianism appeals to white males with an emotional maturity level of a thirteen year old-this cover is it.

    You absolutely NAILED IT.

  111. 111
    daveNYC says:

    @Mike in NC: He must have played a completely different version of Bioshock then. It’s like calling Bioshock: Infinite a homage to American Exceptionalism and Woodrow Wilson.

  112. 112
    the Conster says:

    Where’s the Cheetos dust? And shouldn’t that upraised finger be booger digging? Plus, she’s yelling at him to stop farting.

  113. 113

    This sort of reminds me of some of the Watchtower magazines that JW’s used to drop off at my house. They’d have a stylized picture of Jesus hanging out under a tree with kids and a lion and a lamb in paradise.

    You too, good Sir, can stay a fat sack of crap and still get the girls, the money, and all the free time in the world to play video games and smoke weed if you join the cult of Rand.

    Next month, I expect the fat bastard there to be reclining in his throne room eating snacks with Boba Fett on one side, and the girl chained up lying in front of him.

  114. 114
    RareSanity says:

    @Violet:
    @jl:

    The original picture is from Grand Theft Auto V.

    The funny thing is, the characters are brother and sister, and are two of the most spoiled, entitled, little shits you’d ever meet….kinda like the writers at Reason.

    Their Dad is a rich ex-con, living on the rich side of town, after bring placed in the witness protection program…and his two teenaged kids (shown in the picture) act exactly as you would expect two teenaged kids living a life like that would.

  115. 115
    Marc says:

    @Mike in NC:

    Good God, that’s hilarious. Bioshock is a setting where a libertarian paradise is created in a complex at the bottom of the ocean. It turns into a hellish nightmare, filled with all sorts of mockery of libertarianism. Pro tip: the cannibals gnawing on bones in a shattered shopping mall are not a sign that your society is on the right track!

  116. 116
    Alex S. says:

    @Mike in NC:

    Libertarians don’t recognize when they’re being made fun of. The problem is that they actually like the horror visions of these libertarian nightmares. Suderman looks at Fallout III (Washington D.C. has turned into a radioactive pile of trash) and thinks that the biggest problem in this world is with people trying to take your guns away.

  117. 117
    different-church-lady says:

    I never before realized that “reason” was a synonym for “wank”

  118. 118
    Violet says:

    @RareSanity: That’s funny. I didn’t know anything about the original, but the illustrator is clearly superior because you can tell what their personalities are just from that one picture.

    Because I’m a glutton for punishment I found the actual drawing on the Reason website. Some of the things I pointed out before are less pronounced–I guess the scanning in from the actual magazine distorted it somewhat. The girls’ necklace is more obvious, for instance. The guy still has one visible tattoo–it’s on his neck, peeking out of his collar. Not sure what that’s supposed to signify.

  119. 119
    RareSanity says:

    @Violet:

    It either signifies the personification of a ‘dudebro’ the Reason writers fancy themselves as…or that whomever they hired is not very good at using Photoshop.

  120. 120
    What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us? says:

    It’s obvious that the guys at reason think video games are cool. So, despite all the evidence in that polling data that most gamers are liberals, they’ve come up with tortured logic to convince themselves that gamers are really libertarian. Because, libertarians are cool, and video games are cool, so video gamers, in their heart of hearts, must be libertarian, because they’re cool.

  121. 121
    JPL says:

    This blog needs more music.

    apologies if it has been linked to before.

  122. 122
    jl says:

    @the Conster:

    ” Where’s the Cheetos dust? ”

    These people are self reliant, like the pioneers. The cheeto dust is stomped down to make the floor.

    @RareSanity:

    ” The original picture is from Grand Theft Auto V. ”

    This stuff suddenly got spooky ‘meta’. Hall of mirrors, dude. Trap doors underneath trap doors. I’m outta this thread.

  123. 123
    Turgidson says:

    @hoodie:

    I think this is what they think they deserve for their lives to be like, but because they are put-upon white males of privilege, government is robbing them of it.

    In this “how it would be if not for government” scene, the girl (who is just barely hot enough to get his attention, rather than repulsed as she would be in real life) isn’t nagging him to do chores or keep the noise down, she is impatiently waiting to shag him senseless with her Uggs on. She is also a successful capitalist in her own right, though quick to acknowledge his total superiority in all ways and dress how he likes her to at home (hence the undies-and-Uggs getup). Since he’s a 21st century Hank Reardon, he wears the pants in the relationship and is getting a quick round of bong hits and Call of Duty in first. Her uncontrollable lust for his capitalist manly awesomeness will just have to wait 20 minutes. She’ll forget all about the delay once he unleashes his objectivist profit-making prowess all over her.

    Of course, the real life version of this portrait is that the guy is 30lb heavier, wearing a faded Pearl Jam t-shirt, covered in Cheeto dust, and it’s his mom in the doorway yelling at him that he hasn’t showered or left his room in 3 days.

  124. 124
    HR Progressive says:

    So they took a GTA V style picture, placed the absurd “Liberator” plastic fail-y “firearm” at his feet, a Four Loko beverage, and a bong. Slapped a Mitt Romney suit on him, complete with American flag lapel pin, and…?

    Profit?

    I wonder if they got permission from Rockstar games to use that font? Cause that’s been very associated with Grand Theft Auto since the 3rd iteration circa 2001..

    Also, for what it’s worth, if this really is ripping off GTA V, yeah they’re brother and sister, and they’re basically terrible people. The whole family is a bunch of basket cases. It’s a semi compelling story, actually.

    I’ll go back to my basement and Cheez Doodles (not Cheetos, ugh) now. Thanks.

  125. 125
    Cassidy says:

    @Turgidson: Shows what you know. Call of Duty matches are only 15 minutes. /glibertarian

  126. 126
    Marc says:

    @Violet:

    Imagine if the two individuals pictured were black. The entire Reason readership–all fifteen white men–would completely lose their shit.

    And if just the guy were black, the entire Tea Party would join them.

  127. 127
    Mnemosyne says:

    @RareSanity:

    Okay, now that I know that the characters in the original are brother and sister, I’m even more grossed out by the assumptions people are making about the Reason version of picture (and I’m assuming they’re supposed to be making those assumptions).

  128. 128
    Commenting at Balloon Juice since 1937 says:

    She’s asking him how many sammiches he wants.

  129. 129
    grape_crush says:

    Looks like he’s vaguely pissed off for having to get all dressed up to work a long hard hour manning the snack table at a Rand Paul townhall event only to get dissed by the lone female staffer in attendance.

    What a weak and pathetic attempt to glom onto something popular to try and be cool by association. Anyone who doesn’t get that Bioshock is a rip on libertarianism is a few apples short of a full bushel…Kinda like TNR‘s ‘top 50 conservative rock songs‘ they put out a while back, many of which were neither conservative or could be considered rock.

  130. 130
    Jim C. says:

    Taking GTA, or GTA covers, seriously is the first clue that someone doing so has never actually played a video game before or just wanted to be the latest to jump on the “blame video games for all of society’s ills” brigade.

    Here’s a pro-tip to non-gamers out there: GRAND THEFT AUTO IS SATIRE. It’s basically the South Park of video games.

    Speaking as someone who actually loves the GTA series and the Saints Row series and a whole bunch of other video games that I know can be flagrantly misogynistic, racist, etc. but (key point coming) in a tongue-in-cheek and not to be taken serious way, I wish people on both sides of the aisle would quick getting boners (love, rage or otherwise) going about a medium that they likely have a pretty non-existent experience with or understanding of.

  131. 131
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Jim C.:

    I think people here are mostly mocking Reason’s attempt to be “hip” and Republican “Libertarian”-ize GTA by adding their own refinements. (What if he wasn’t a loser? What if he was a dude in a suit?)

  132. 132
    Morzer says:

    Chris Christie gives an embittered Jennifer Aniston the finger. Not that Reason is an abode of pathetic misogynist glibertarian dweebs with strange crushes on big white older male thugs, no sirree!

  133. 133
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @BGinCHI:

    @Southern Beale: Cole is just big-boned.

    At least you didn’t call him “floofy.”

    ETA: Curse you, scav.

  134. 134
    notoriousJRT says:

    @Seanly:
    The government regulating how much arsenic a corporation can dump in a river has nothing to do with personal freedom.

    Oh, but it does if you are the one who wishes to dump the arsenic.

  135. 135
    notoriousJRT says:

    @Seanly:
    The government regulating how much arsenic a corporation can dump in a river has nothing to do with personal freedom.

    Oh, but it does if you are the one who wishes to dump the arsenic.

  136. 136
    scav says:

    The gaming community populace are well known, to a man, each and every bleeding one of them, to be well-meaning, enlightened, tongue-in-cheek enthusiasts in their intractions with actual people, especially women. Libertarians are likewise en masse and without exception putting themselves on the line for all human rights, and can’t see reflections of themselves without sticking tongues in their cheeks and giggling good-naturedly. People who find this cover amusing are without pro-clues, single-mindedly devoted to blaming all of societies ills on video games and not, as we might have thought, chortling into our beers at self-parody.

  137. 137
    slag says:

    @kc: I had the same question. I’m guessing not since libertarians typically have zero self-awareness and so maybe their cover illustrator managed to get one over on them.

  138. 138
    Jebediah, RBG says:

    @jl:

    But, the bed is still made, and no piles of dirty close (the sock on the floor is too weak to be taken seriously).

    If it were an accurate portrait of a libertarian, the sock would be his “girlfriend.”

  139. 139
    clone12 says:

    I can’t understand why libertarian conventions always end up looking like a sausage party.

  140. 140
    Morzer says:

    @clone12:

    Because that’s where the leftovers end up.

  141. 141
    SectarianSofa says:

    @TooManyJens:

    Maybe he’s hushing the (shrill!) woman in the picture so he can mansplain something to her.

    That was my take on it….

  142. 142
    Enhanced Voting Techniques says:

    These clowns ever played Grand Theft Auto V to notice how it takes digs at Gliberarianism?

  143. 143
    Enhanced Voting Techniques says:

    @hoodie: Maybe she’s his daughter?

  144. 144
    Enhanced Voting Techniques says:

    @Alex S.:

    Suderman looks at Fallout III (Washington D.C. has turned into a radioactive pile of trash) and thinks that the biggest problem in this world is with people trying to take your guns away.

    Yes, I wonder what Fallout III they played. The one played I wanted to take you guns away by shooting you in the face and then eating your corpse, if you were lucky.

  145. 145
    Citizen_X says:

    Hah, they’re too wimpy to keep the middle finger in the picture!

  146. 146
    lol says:

    It’s weird. Because the original art is meant to inspire you to think “This kid is a douchebag”. But at Reason, he’s celebrated as someone to emulate. I wonder why.

  147. 147
    Crouchback says:

    @lol: The basic concept isn’t weird – they’re trying to say gamers aren’t losers by referencing and altering the original drawing. The problem as already noted is that the man still looks like kind of a jerk. Maybe if they showed the man and woman playing the video game together it would work. It’s unintentionally amusing because it shows how the Reason crowd likes to think of themselves as hipster rebels but also want material success and don’t want to offend the establishment too much. Remember, Reason et al are basically hipster wannabes funded by old Koch brothers fossil fuel money. The contradictions are bound to cause weirdness.

  148. 148
  149. 149
    heartburn says:

    @Alex S.:
    In Fallout 3, Washington DC isn’t a radioactive pile of trash because of guns. It’s a radioactive pile of trash because of governments.

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