Friday afternoon already? My stay-cacation week (at least I live in a vacation paradise) is coming to a close.
One of these days I’ll have an Actual Vacation; you know, where one goes somewhere interesting for the sole purpose of doing something interesting, and eating out, and having someone else change the sheets, ALL THAT TIME.
I have never had one of those. I hear it’s purty nice.
5.
Jerzy Russian
Apparently in some animal cultures the golden shower is a perfectly normal occurrence. I see it a lot at the zoo.
6.
Fuzzy
This is what should happen to the select committee on Benghazi.
I was out sick from work yesterday and got in this morning to discover that Sephora had delivered my mom’s Mother’s Day present here instead of to her in Arizona. GAH!
It will be there on Monday, but I’m still highly annoyed.
9.
kindness
Mama Fox to viewers: Piss on them and tell them it’s raining.
They said it was going to rain yesterday. Gave it up to 70% chance. We got nothing. It was supposed to rain again today. That rain chance disappeared from the forecast and we’ve now got no chance of rain. I think it hasn’t rained in three weeks but it might be a month. Long hot summer here we come.
We had one of those, once. Our “vacation” usually means traveling to Chicago and seeing both families.
13.
Comrade Jake
I posted this downstream but I’m still laughing over Youngstown State making their football coach, Jim Tressel, president of the entire university. This is the sort of thing that really does give one all sorts of insight into Ohio.
@Comrade Jake: What a disservice to the students. I have to admit that I didn’t realize they had a football team, though.
17.
gbear
I’m spending the weekend getting ready to go to my sister’s funeral on Monday. She would have turned 54 on Wednesday, and she died from congenitive heart failure unexpectedly, alone at home on Tuesday. We found out she’d been very short of breath for a couple of days beforehand, but they didn’t go to the doctor, and she either decided against or never got the chance to call 911 when she started coughing herself to death. My sisters and I didn’t know how seriously sick she was.
She and her husband barely know how to use a computer, and I doubt it even crossed their minds to try to sign up for Obamacare. I’m feeling that this didn’t have to end this way, and that ignorance is a huge factor in her death. This funeral is going to be very sad and very uncomfortable. We’d been somewhat estranged from this sister for years, and although her husband had family in the same town, his sister said she hadn’t visited their house for five years.
I’ve been trading some facebook messages with my neice who’s in her late teens. She is hurting and I think she’s looking for support from her friends more than from her ancient gay uncle, but I’m glad I can at least keep in contact with her. This sucks and it all feels like such a waste. My youngest sister is so wishing that we could have a do-over of the past, but it is what it is, and now she’s gone.
18.
JPL
@gbear: Sometimes there are no words. Losing a family member is always tragic and under those circumstances even more so. I’m so sorry.
This is appropriate as today is POETS day – piss on everything tomorrow is Saturday!
24.
Xecky Gilchrist
“Urine is sterile.”
– House M.D., in way too many episodes. True or not, it Gives People Ideas.
25.
Betty Cracker
@gbear: That is terrible news, and so sad for your entire family, particularly since it sounds like things may have gone a different way had she sought help. 53 is way too young.
I’m glad your niece is in contact with you. It’s natural that she’d seek the support of friends at such an awful time, but she may value the link with her “ancient gay uncle” more than you know.
Unfortunately, there is no do-over, as you know, but giving that girl some love and support may be the best thing you can do in memory of your sister. My deepest condolences to the whole family, and please accept my wishes for peace and strength to you in the difficult time ahead.
26.
Joel
@Xecky Gilchrist: Anything from inside your body *should* be sterile. Before you say “poop” keep in mind that technically, the inside of your colon is outside of your body. Or put more accurately, it contacts the exterior environment.
I’m so sorry. Unfortunately, when people decide to isolate themselves, it’s hard to know when they need help. I’m sure your niece needs all the support she can get, even if she turns to her friends first. When my father-in-law died, my 19-year-old nephew spent the first few days staying with his friends, and it really helped him cope since he was able to do his own grieving before having to deal with the rest of the family.
28.
Violet
@gbear: I’m so sorry. What a challenging situation. Just be there for your niece. Right now her friends are probably a first line of support for her, but at her age friendships can change and move on. Having an uncle who she can lean on in six months, a year, two years, whatever can be a big help. She doesn’t know what she needs right now and the best thing you can do is just be available to her.
Condolences on your loss. Even if you were semi estranged, the loss of your sister is a loss.
@gbear: I’ve been trading some facebook messages with my neice who’s in her late teens. She is hurting and I think she’s looking for support from her friends more than from her ancient gay uncle, but I’m glad I can at least keep in contact with her.
Don’t sell yourself short. It’s great to have friends, but it’s also great to have older relatives who actually care. And these are harder to recruit! (Said the fun aunt.)
I’m really sorry all of you were not able to get it together before this sad occasion, but it requires the cooperation of everyone. The best thing you can do at this point is be there as needed.
30.
spudgun
@gbear: Condolences, so sad — sending you comforting internet hugs…
31.
Bill in Section 147
@Bob In Portland: I enjoyed most of the link but Obama, a liberal in the American political spectrum? That spectrum line is a right wing talking point. Obama was and always has been a ideologically center politician. I think he was considered the 40th most liberal member of the Senate before becoming President. The Senate has always been a conservative body.
32.
gbear
Thanks to everyone for the replies. Good advice from everyone. This is going to be the first time I’ve seen my neice in a couple of years, so I’m hoping that things go well (and don’t get strange) at the funeral.
My BIL is very poor so this funeral is basically paid for by county services. Her obituary didn’t even have a photo or any text other than that she was a local resident. It was heartbreaking, and I’m hoping that the funeral isn’t equally perfunctory. I hope we have some time to talk with his family and that the conversations are pleasant and not strained.
33.
Lurking Buffoon
@gbear: Oh hell. You have my condolences. That’s (to put it mildly) rough. Good call staying in touch with the niece. Your support may not be what she’s looking for right now… but what people look for and what they need usually have little in common, especially at that age.
In brighter news, I finished my first semester of grad school last night. So hopefully in the next week or 2 I’ll find out if I did well enough to stay enrolled.
34.
Dee Loralei
@gbear: You have my deepest condolences. It’s wonderful that you are there for your niece. I have no words, but I wish for you all a healing grace.
Your BIL probably won’t accept money from you, but it’s traditional to bring food for the family, so maybe you can figure out something along those lines (tray of sandwiches from the grocery store, or a grocery store gift card). If there’s a lunch after the services, you could offer to pay for that (my father-in-law’s brothers paid for the lunch after his services to take some of the burden off my mother-in-law). But it sounds like you already know you’ll have to tread carefully.
And you may want to use a Miss Manners line like “My door is always open to you” to your niece if you think she might want help but feel reluctant to ask.
Oh man that is not good news. I hope you can find peace and maybe help that poor kid. This has to be particularly tough on her
38.
Paul in KY
@Comrade Jake: I think they were happy at Youngstown State that he flamed out at OSU. That way he’d be available.
39.
Ripley
Those who see through their conditioning and manipulation are, if you will, cultural mistakes.
New handle for Bob.
40.
Paul in KY
@gbear: Man, gbear. So sorry to hear of this. My condolences to your family.
41.
Violet
@gbear: The things will happen. The BIL and his family will do what they do. The only thing you can control is your reaction to it. It doesn’t have to be strained if you don’t see it as strained. Focus on your connection to your sister and love for your niece. Do what you need to do and let the rest of it fall where it falls. Even if someone is ugly to you, that’s really their issue. It doesn’t also have to become yours.
Your BIL is grieving and has his daughter to look after. This is his loss too and people often deal with loss in unexpected ways. Again, that’s his issue and you don’t have to make it yours. Be there is love and honor for your sister. Everything else will fall where it will.
Sending warm thoughts to you as you deal with your loss and the next few days with the family.
42.
Mike E
@srv: …and your ass will follow.
Saw the mothership over 20 years ago in Charlotte, George came in from the airport after doing the grammys so the launch was a bit delayed. Two-hour-and-45 minute-long-medley-of-hits later and I was one tired but happy puppy!
@C.V. Danes:
Definitely has me rethinking my fondness for veal scallopini.
45.
Violet
@gbear: The things will happen. The BIL and his family will do what they do. The only thing you can control is your reaction to it. It doesn’t have to be strained if you don’t see it as strained. Focus on your connection to your sister and love for your niece. Do what you need to do and let the rest of it fall where it falls. Even if someone is ugly to you, that’s really their issue. It doesn’t also have to become yours.
Your BIL is grieving and has his daughter to look after. This a big loss for him and people often deal with loss in unexpected ways. Again, that’s his issue and you don’t have to make it yours. Be there in love and honor for your sister. Everything else will fall where it will.
46.
shelley
Guess this calf never heard of ‘Don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining”
47.
Trollhattan
@Xecky Gilchrist:
Male urine is. Not that I’ve considered that tidbit beyond the trivia level, but there are the R. Kellys of the world who take things another step.
48.
Violet
@Violet: Didn’t see the first comment had posted. Sorry for mostly duplicate with some typo editing!
49.
LT
That Romney today endorsed a rise in the minimum wage means he intends to run in 2016.
To regain the nomination, he intends to outspend yet another field of birdbrain candidates, and then campaign on having the moxie to buck his party’s unpopular opposition to (the very concept of a federally mandated) minimum wage. Of course, the fly in that strategic ointment is the potential that the strategy will prove his undoing with primary voters (think Perry and immigration policy). In that case he’ll simply bow out early, saving all the money earmarked for the long haul.
The man undoubtedly believes that God intends for him to be POTUS. And what does he have to lose?
Lest We Forget: last month’s widely broadcast photo of Romney standing in line at the post office, allegedly mailing his tax returns. Why do you think he did that?
What are you, a human Klein bottle? (Not that there’s anything wrong with that….)
51.
Shinobi
Hey Balloon Juicer pet people? Has anyone had any experience with older dogs who wont go up stairs anymore? My partially blind siberian husky rescue is having troubles with hip dysplasia. We’re giving him supplements and pain killers and he’s been a lot more energetic since we started. However, prior to getting him the drugs he stopped wanting to go up the stairs.
There are a combination of issues at work, 1. separation anxiety. So someone now has to sleep on the air mattress in the living room or he howls all night. 2. the upstairs stairs are narrow, though carpeted, and they do have a turn in them. Since he’s been medicated he’s been doing better with the front stairs, but he still wont try the second story. 3. He is really resistant to any kind of assistance, I’ve tried looping a towel under his hips to help out but he just wont even try. 4. We’ve tried food rewards they aren’t helping, he will go so far and then stops.
I think his sight may be getting a little worse. Anyway, if anyone has any suggestions, I’d appreciate it. He’s otherwise healthy, so I could be sleeping on an air mattress for a couple of years at this point.
52.
gbear
@Mnemosyne: I just talked with sister and she’s planning the care package with my older sister. I was planning on putting a check in my sympathy card to help pay for the expenses. If we all go out to eat dinner afterward, of course we’ll help pick up the tab for the meal.
53.
Violet
@LT: Gosh I can’t wait for the Republican debates. Perry and his new hipster glasses can’t hide his idiocy. Will Romney pull out some hipster glasses to win over the Youth Vote?
@the Conster: I used to have a MySpace account which I haven’t looked at in probably at least 8 years. The other day I got an email from MySpace at the address listed on my account. I didn’t read it, because WTF MySpace, but I wonder if they’re attempting a comeback.
@gbear: I’m so sorry gbear. Hugs for you and yr family.
56.
Poopyman
@gbear: Oh man, that sucks. I’m sorry for your pain, and what your whole family is going through. Any words of advice I would give have already been covered by @Violet: , because funerals are a prime place for people to get weird. Our society doesn’t know how to deal with death any more, and people are at a loss for what to say, do, or just how to be. You just have to roll with whatever comes about.
Wait, what? [pokes around some] It seems he did, joining Pawlenty (who?) and Santorum(?!?) Broken clocks, the three of them, but what will Staples shareholders say?
That Romney today endorsed a rise in the minimum wage means he intends to run in 2016.
Guess he wants to solidify his legacy as a three-time loser. Has there been any failed Democratic Prez. candidates who couldn’t figure out they’d worn out their welcome?
59.
Paul in KY
@Shinobi: If he is elderly, maybe it is time to have him put down?
If not, then maybe you could just carry him up the stairs?
60.
Violet
@Shinobi: No personal experience, but a friend had similar issues with a golden retriever. They found that dogupuncture (doggie acupuncture) helped quite a bit. He acted like a puppy after having it. The acupuncturist came to the house, which was pretty convenient.
Also, they cut his coat really short once it started getting warm and that helped his energy too. They also switched his diet after working on that with a doggie nutritionist at their vets. They did some testing and he had some allergies or something.
None of this solved the problem but it did make him more comfortable and made climbing stairs easier for him.
A friend had great luck with switching her cats to a raw food, meat diet (no grains). One cat’s skin issues cleared up and they both had a lot more energy. Don’t know if that is relevant info but thought I’d mention it.
61.
catclub
@LT: I don’t see it. he is saying things only ex-pols say.
62.
Goblue72
@WereBear: That sure sucks. I hope you at least live somewhere interesting / cool to make up for it like coastal California or Hawaii or something.
63.
Trollhattan
@Shinobi:
Yeesh, that’s a quandry. Hopefully the pain treatment will be effective enough he gets over the pain avoidance keeping him off the stairs, but if not….a husky probably is too big to haul up there in your arms and you risk breaking both your necks. Is he crate-trained? Maybe two of you could take him up in that?
NOT going to suggest a giant outdoor ramp leading to the window.
Much luck to you.
64.
Violet
@TooManyJens: Quite a few years ago Murdoch bought MySpace in some attempt to connect with The Kids These Days. Obviously that didn’t work and they dumped it about three years ago. Someone like Justin Timberlake bought it and said they were going to turn it into a go-to site for musicians or something. No idea how that’s working but it seems that the only people using MySpace are musicians.
65.
Gin & Tonic
@Paul in KY: I’m betting a husky is pretty heavy for that. Our little old guy is only 16 pounds, so he gets carried up and down the stairs daily. He’s otherwise in OK health at 15, and given enough time he might make it up the stairs, but his cataracts are bad enough that he is effectively blind, so it’s a challenge for him.
Guess he wants to solidify his legacy as a three-time loser. Has there been any failed Democratic Prez. candidates who couldn’t figure out they’d worn out their welcome?
William Jennings Bryan? Three time loser in the general election.
67.
Goblue72
@Comrade Jake: Tressel wasn’t their coach. He was former head coach of “THE” Ohio State University, where he built OSU as the dominant football team in the Big Ten during his decade long tenure. He was most recently Executive VP at U of Akron. So it’s not as insane as it sounds – presumably he will bring attention and dollars to what I can only assume is a middling regional state school.
More troubling is he got the job in spite of leaving OSU under a cloud for NCAA rules violations.
And I’m a Michigan alum, so should totally hate the guy, in terms of any biases in my above description.
68.
Violet
@Shinobi: Is there any space to install a small elevator? That would be a huge expense but depending how long you intend to stay in the house could be useful as you age.
@Gin & Tonic: I have Shinobi pictured in my mind as this big old brute. Probably not feasible to carry the dog, as if he freaked, it could cause Shinobi to fall down stairs.
Mabe just try to get him to stop whining (if possible).
70.
Paul in KY
@Goblue72: Jim Tressel was coach at Youngstown State back in the early 90s.
@gbear: Condolences. Been there, done that with my little brother, some 27 years ago.
75.
Bob In Portland
@Omnes Omnibus: Correct. At Parry’s site, consortium news.
76.
MikeJ
@Cassidy: His argument seems to be that if your country has ever done anything for impure motives, you and all future leaders (whether they agreed with the bad things or not) are forever forbidden from trying to do anything good.
There are always plenty of good arguments against military intervention, but being pissed off at Henry Kissinger doesn’t really make the grade.
77.
srv
@gbear Condolences.
@Mike E: Dude is still going strong. George pocketed about a dozen blunts for the Motherships engines. Kid next to me asked “Is it really over this time?” after 3 hours. We were done.
78.
Violet
@Trollhattan: I must have missed that name. Was that before or after the name change to GetOffMyLawnSpace? I know they were trying lots of things to see what worked.
79.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@Shinobi: I’m so sorry to hear that. He may be having back issues as well, which would be aggravated by stair climbing/unclimbing. If that’s the case, a towel sling won’t help and could be uncomfortable, and it would explain stopping emphatically as the climb hurts. I hate to offer my best suggestion, which is getting a couch comfortable enough to sleep on downstairs so he has company.
@gbear,: My condolences for your loss. I’m certain your niece appreciates your support more than she can express.
80.
Villago Delenda Est
@Xecky Gilchrist: Is it sterile if it passes from your bladder through a urinary tract infection, or, say, the clap?
My deepest condolences. Losing a member of the family is always so difficult. When you’re estranged from them it adds a whole layer of sorrow and regret. Been there. I’ll hold you in my best thoughts, friend.
We no longer have to wait to live in a world where antibiotic resistance routinely fails, because we’re already there and heading in a “post-antibiotic era,” according to Dr. Keiji Fukuda, WHO’s assistant director-general for health security. Serious, potentially fatal diseases including diarrhea, blood infections (sepsis), pneumonia, and (take a deep breath here) urinary tract infections and gonorrhea are all becoming resistance to antibiotics, even the “last resort” antibiotics used when all else fails.
83.
Cassidy
@MikeJ: Yeah. This appears to be a case of contrarian for clicks; ad revenue ain’t gonna materialize out of nowhere. Personally, I don’t see what’s controversial in sending military and LE aid.
There was some statistics dude on NPR a while ago, crunching the numbers on returning presidential candidates. And basically, with each return attempt, the odds get worse and worse. Someone should tell Willard. But as suggested, if he still believes he’s been chosen….
87.
Thunderbird
Just saw the list of R’s who are on going to be on the, ahem, B-word “committee.”
Susan Brooks, my congresscritter, is on it.
Of fucking course. *sigh*
88.
Ruckus
A nice warm shower in the morning. A great way to start the day.
I do like warm water rather than piss but I guess if you’re a cow ya gotta take what you can get.
89.
soonergrunt (mobile)
@gbear: in sorry for your loss, and I hope that you and your niece and your family can pull something good from this for all of you. I’ll keep you all in my thoughts this weekend.
I’m sorry for your losses – this one and the one before that meant you were separated. I am glad you’re in contact with your niece, she will need your support. Don’t put yourself down, you can provide an anchor in a troubled time.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Don’t sell yourself short in terms of how you can support your niece. Yes, she may be turning to her friends and dad right now in this acute stage of grief but as time goes on you can keep her mom’s memory alive for her. You can fill in those stories about her mom’s childhood and she will cherish this connection to her mom through you.
Sending you a big hug. I think we all wish we could do more.
@Shinobi: My own elderly (89 in human years) cat did great with added dry gelatin to his grain-free cat food for his joints. He used to show off by jumping from the bed to the bureau to show he felt better. Works for doggies, too.
Added animal fat is often missing from our pet’s food but both dogs and cats need it very much. Add some bacon fat to his next meal, butter his treats, and give him fish oil capsules. Can do wonders.
@Goblue72: I hope you at least live somewhere interesting / cool to make up for it like coastal California or Hawaii or something.
I do! The Adirondack Park of NY.
93.
artem1s
this is kind of an interesting thing developing in the net neutrality world…
Has there been any failed Democratic Prez. candidates who couldn’t figure out they’d worn out their welcome?
Adlai Stevenson II comes to mind as well (though Bryan certainly takes the all-time Futility Prize [American division]. Harold Stassen gets the silver). Supposedly, even after his losses to Eisenhower in 1952 and 1956, old Adlai went to the Dem Convention in 1960 hoping to get a third nod in case the Convention couldn’t choose between Kennedy and Johnson. He actually got 5% of the vote, too.
98.
Shinobi
Thanks for the suggestions all. I will look into all of them. (Except putting him down, RUDE.) He’s really getting around much better with the pain management that we’re doing, at this point he just wont try. But he’s very very stubborn, typical of huskies. (He also weighs about 90lbs, and HATES being carried, so, no go on that.)
It looks like I will remain on the air mattress for the foreseeable future.
Comments are closed.
Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!
the Conster
A pop-up ad for MySpace.com? What year is this or did I just have a flashback to 2003?
Morzer
“Trey Gowdy gets a big surprise from Mama Reality”
Elizabelle
Calf is thinking: “For this, I got borned?”
WereBear
Friday afternoon already? My stay-cacation week (at least I live in a vacation paradise) is coming to a close.
One of these days I’ll have an Actual Vacation; you know, where one goes somewhere interesting for the sole purpose of doing something interesting, and eating out, and having someone else change the sheets, ALL THAT TIME.
I have never had one of those. I hear it’s purty nice.
Jerzy Russian
Apparently in some animal cultures the golden shower is a perfectly normal occurrence. I see it a lot at the zoo.
Fuzzy
This is what should happen to the select committee on Benghazi.
rikyrah
ok, that’s a funny pic
Mnemosyne
I was out sick from work yesterday and got in this morning to discover that Sephora had delivered my mom’s Mother’s Day present here instead of to her in Arizona. GAH!
It will be there on Monday, but I’m still highly annoyed.
kindness
Mama Fox to viewers: Piss on them and tell them it’s raining.
Bob In Portland
Robert Parry explains why you don’t know what you don’t know.
Violet
They said it was going to rain yesterday. Gave it up to 70% chance. We got nothing. It was supposed to rain again today. That rain chance disappeared from the forecast and we’ve now got no chance of rain. I think it hasn’t rained in three weeks but it might be a month. Long hot summer here we come.
Mnemosyne
@WereBear:
We had one of those, once. Our “vacation” usually means traveling to Chicago and seeing both families.
Comrade Jake
I posted this downstream but I’m still laughing over Youngstown State making their football coach, Jim Tressel, president of the entire university. This is the sort of thing that really does give one all sorts of insight into Ohio.
C.V. Danes
I believe this is what is meant by the phrase “trickle down”
srv
Free Your Mind
JPL
@Comrade Jake: What a disservice to the students. I have to admit that I didn’t realize they had a football team, though.
gbear
I’m spending the weekend getting ready to go to my sister’s funeral on Monday. She would have turned 54 on Wednesday, and she died from congenitive heart failure unexpectedly, alone at home on Tuesday. We found out she’d been very short of breath for a couple of days beforehand, but they didn’t go to the doctor, and she either decided against or never got the chance to call 911 when she started coughing herself to death. My sisters and I didn’t know how seriously sick she was.
She and her husband barely know how to use a computer, and I doubt it even crossed their minds to try to sign up for Obamacare. I’m feeling that this didn’t have to end this way, and that ignorance is a huge factor in her death. This funeral is going to be very sad and very uncomfortable. We’d been somewhat estranged from this sister for years, and although her husband had family in the same town, his sister said she hadn’t visited their house for five years.
I’ve been trading some facebook messages with my neice who’s in her late teens. She is hurting and I think she’s looking for support from her friends more than from her ancient gay uncle, but I’m glad I can at least keep in contact with her. This sucks and it all feels like such a waste. My youngest sister is so wishing that we could have a do-over of the past, but it is what it is, and now she’s gone.
JPL
@gbear: Sometimes there are no words. Losing a family member is always tragic and under those circumstances even more so. I’m so sorry.
Cacti
@Bob In Portland:
Hodor!
Omnes Omnibus
@Bob In Portland: That piece isn’t by Robert Parry.
Omnes Omnibus
@gbear: My condolences.
rikyrah
@gbear:
sorry gbear for your loss.
I hope you extend yourself to your niece.
Schlemizel
This is appropriate as today is POETS day – piss on everything tomorrow is Saturday!
Xecky Gilchrist
“Urine is sterile.”
– House M.D., in way too many episodes. True or not, it Gives People Ideas.
Betty Cracker
@gbear: That is terrible news, and so sad for your entire family, particularly since it sounds like things may have gone a different way had she sought help. 53 is way too young.
I’m glad your niece is in contact with you. It’s natural that she’d seek the support of friends at such an awful time, but she may value the link with her “ancient gay uncle” more than you know.
Unfortunately, there is no do-over, as you know, but giving that girl some love and support may be the best thing you can do in memory of your sister. My deepest condolences to the whole family, and please accept my wishes for peace and strength to you in the difficult time ahead.
Joel
@Xecky Gilchrist: Anything from inside your body *should* be sterile. Before you say “poop” keep in mind that technically, the inside of your colon is outside of your body. Or put more accurately, it contacts the exterior environment.
Mnemosyne
@gbear:
I’m so sorry. Unfortunately, when people decide to isolate themselves, it’s hard to know when they need help. I’m sure your niece needs all the support she can get, even if she turns to her friends first. When my father-in-law died, my 19-year-old nephew spent the first few days staying with his friends, and it really helped him cope since he was able to do his own grieving before having to deal with the rest of the family.
Violet
@gbear: I’m so sorry. What a challenging situation. Just be there for your niece. Right now her friends are probably a first line of support for her, but at her age friendships can change and move on. Having an uncle who she can lean on in six months, a year, two years, whatever can be a big help. She doesn’t know what she needs right now and the best thing you can do is just be available to her.
Condolences on your loss. Even if you were semi estranged, the loss of your sister is a loss.
WereBear
Don’t sell yourself short. It’s great to have friends, but it’s also great to have older relatives who actually care. And these are harder to recruit! (Said the fun aunt.)
I’m really sorry all of you were not able to get it together before this sad occasion, but it requires the cooperation of everyone. The best thing you can do at this point is be there as needed.
spudgun
@gbear: Condolences, so sad — sending you comforting internet hugs…
Bill in Section 147
@Bob In Portland: I enjoyed most of the link but Obama, a liberal in the American political spectrum? That spectrum line is a right wing talking point. Obama was and always has been a ideologically center politician. I think he was considered the 40th most liberal member of the Senate before becoming President. The Senate has always been a conservative body.
gbear
Thanks to everyone for the replies. Good advice from everyone. This is going to be the first time I’ve seen my neice in a couple of years, so I’m hoping that things go well (and don’t get strange) at the funeral.
My BIL is very poor so this funeral is basically paid for by county services. Her obituary didn’t even have a photo or any text other than that she was a local resident. It was heartbreaking, and I’m hoping that the funeral isn’t equally perfunctory. I hope we have some time to talk with his family and that the conversations are pleasant and not strained.
Lurking Buffoon
@gbear: Oh hell. You have my condolences. That’s (to put it mildly) rough. Good call staying in touch with the niece. Your support may not be what she’s looking for right now… but what people look for and what they need usually have little in common, especially at that age.
In brighter news, I finished my first semester of grad school last night. So hopefully in the next week or 2 I’ll find out if I did well enough to stay enrolled.
Dee Loralei
@gbear: You have my deepest condolences. It’s wonderful that you are there for your niece. I have no words, but I wish for you all a healing grace.
Elizabelle
@gbear:
Very sorry to hear that. My condolences, and hugs.
Mnemosyne
@gbear:
Your BIL probably won’t accept money from you, but it’s traditional to bring food for the family, so maybe you can figure out something along those lines (tray of sandwiches from the grocery store, or a grocery store gift card). If there’s a lunch after the services, you could offer to pay for that (my father-in-law’s brothers paid for the lunch after his services to take some of the burden off my mother-in-law). But it sounds like you already know you’ll have to tread carefully.
And you may want to use a Miss Manners line like “My door is always open to you” to your niece if you think she might want help but feel reluctant to ask.
Schlemizel
@gbear:
Oh man that is not good news. I hope you can find peace and maybe help that poor kid. This has to be particularly tough on her
Paul in KY
@Comrade Jake: I think they were happy at Youngstown State that he flamed out at OSU. That way he’d be available.
Ripley
New handle for Bob.
Paul in KY
@gbear: Man, gbear. So sorry to hear of this. My condolences to your family.
Violet
@gbear: The things will happen. The BIL and his family will do what they do. The only thing you can control is your reaction to it. It doesn’t have to be strained if you don’t see it as strained. Focus on your connection to your sister and love for your niece. Do what you need to do and let the rest of it fall where it falls. Even if someone is ugly to you, that’s really their issue. It doesn’t also have to become yours.
Your BIL is grieving and has his daughter to look after. This is his loss too and people often deal with loss in unexpected ways. Again, that’s his issue and you don’t have to make it yours. Be there is love and honor for your sister. Everything else will fall where it will.
Sending warm thoughts to you as you deal with your loss and the next few days with the family.
Mike E
@srv: …and your ass will follow.
Saw the mothership over 20 years ago in Charlotte, George came in from the airport after doing the grammys so the launch was a bit delayed. Two-hour-and-45 minute-long-medley-of-hits later and I was one tired but happy puppy!
Flashlight!
Trollhattan
@gbear:
So very sorry.
Trollhattan
@C.V. Danes:
Definitely has me rethinking my fondness for veal scallopini.
Violet
@gbear: The things will happen. The BIL and his family will do what they do. The only thing you can control is your reaction to it. It doesn’t have to be strained if you don’t see it as strained. Focus on your connection to your sister and love for your niece. Do what you need to do and let the rest of it fall where it falls. Even if someone is ugly to you, that’s really their issue. It doesn’t also have to become yours.
Your BIL is grieving and has his daughter to look after. This a big loss for him and people often deal with loss in unexpected ways. Again, that’s his issue and you don’t have to make it yours. Be there in love and honor for your sister. Everything else will fall where it will.
shelley
Guess this calf never heard of ‘Don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining”
Trollhattan
@Xecky Gilchrist:
Male urine is. Not that I’ve considered that tidbit beyond the trivia level, but there are the R. Kellys of the world who take things another step.
Violet
@Violet: Didn’t see the first comment had posted. Sorry for mostly duplicate with some typo editing!
LT
That Romney today endorsed a rise in the minimum wage means he intends to run in 2016.
To regain the nomination, he intends to outspend yet another field of birdbrain candidates, and then campaign on having the moxie to buck his party’s unpopular opposition to (the very concept of a federally mandated) minimum wage. Of course, the fly in that strategic ointment is the potential that the strategy will prove his undoing with primary voters (think Perry and immigration policy). In that case he’ll simply bow out early, saving all the money earmarked for the long haul.
The man undoubtedly believes that God intends for him to be POTUS. And what does he have to lose?
Lest We Forget: last month’s widely broadcast photo of Romney standing in line at the post office, allegedly mailing his tax returns. Why do you think he did that?
Trollhattan
@Joel:
What are you, a human Klein bottle? (Not that there’s anything wrong with that….)
Shinobi
Hey Balloon Juicer pet people? Has anyone had any experience with older dogs who wont go up stairs anymore? My partially blind siberian husky rescue is having troubles with hip dysplasia. We’re giving him supplements and pain killers and he’s been a lot more energetic since we started. However, prior to getting him the drugs he stopped wanting to go up the stairs.
There are a combination of issues at work, 1. separation anxiety. So someone now has to sleep on the air mattress in the living room or he howls all night. 2. the upstairs stairs are narrow, though carpeted, and they do have a turn in them. Since he’s been medicated he’s been doing better with the front stairs, but he still wont try the second story. 3. He is really resistant to any kind of assistance, I’ve tried looping a towel under his hips to help out but he just wont even try. 4. We’ve tried food rewards they aren’t helping, he will go so far and then stops.
I think his sight may be getting a little worse. Anyway, if anyone has any suggestions, I’d appreciate it. He’s otherwise healthy, so I could be sleeping on an air mattress for a couple of years at this point.
gbear
@Mnemosyne: I just talked with sister and she’s planning the care package with my older sister. I was planning on putting a check in my sympathy card to help pay for the expenses. If we all go out to eat dinner afterward, of course we’ll help pick up the tab for the meal.
Violet
@LT: Gosh I can’t wait for the Republican debates. Perry and his new hipster glasses can’t hide his idiocy. Will Romney pull out some hipster glasses to win over the Youth Vote?
TooManyJens
@the Conster: I used to have a MySpace account which I haven’t looked at in probably at least 8 years. The other day I got an email from MySpace at the address listed on my account. I didn’t read it, because WTF MySpace, but I wonder if they’re attempting a comeback.
ranchandsyrup
@gbear: I’m so sorry gbear. Hugs for you and yr family.
Poopyman
@gbear: Oh man, that sucks. I’m sorry for your pain, and what your whole family is going through. Any words of advice I would give have already been covered by @Violet: , because funerals are a prime place for people to get weird. Our society doesn’t know how to deal with death any more, and people are at a loss for what to say, do, or just how to be. You just have to roll with whatever comes about.
Trollhattan
@LT:
Wait, what? [pokes around some] It seems he did, joining Pawlenty (who?) and Santorum(?!?) Broken clocks, the three of them, but what will Staples shareholders say?
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/the-fix/wp/2014/05/09/the-gops-confused-approach-to-the-minimum-wage/
shelley
Guess he wants to solidify his legacy as a three-time loser. Has there been any failed Democratic Prez. candidates who couldn’t figure out they’d worn out their welcome?
Paul in KY
@Shinobi: If he is elderly, maybe it is time to have him put down?
If not, then maybe you could just carry him up the stairs?
Violet
@Shinobi: No personal experience, but a friend had similar issues with a golden retriever. They found that dogupuncture (doggie acupuncture) helped quite a bit. He acted like a puppy after having it. The acupuncturist came to the house, which was pretty convenient.
Also, they cut his coat really short once it started getting warm and that helped his energy too. They also switched his diet after working on that with a doggie nutritionist at their vets. They did some testing and he had some allergies or something.
None of this solved the problem but it did make him more comfortable and made climbing stairs easier for him.
A friend had great luck with switching her cats to a raw food, meat diet (no grains). One cat’s skin issues cleared up and they both had a lot more energy. Don’t know if that is relevant info but thought I’d mention it.
catclub
@LT: I don’t see it. he is saying things only ex-pols say.
Goblue72
@WereBear: That sure sucks. I hope you at least live somewhere interesting / cool to make up for it like coastal California or Hawaii or something.
Trollhattan
@Shinobi:
Yeesh, that’s a quandry. Hopefully the pain treatment will be effective enough he gets over the pain avoidance keeping him off the stairs, but if not….a husky probably is too big to haul up there in your arms and you risk breaking both your necks. Is he crate-trained? Maybe two of you could take him up in that?
NOT going to suggest a giant outdoor ramp leading to the window.
Much luck to you.
Violet
@TooManyJens: Quite a few years ago Murdoch bought MySpace in some attempt to connect with The Kids These Days. Obviously that didn’t work and they dumped it about three years ago. Someone like Justin Timberlake bought it and said they were going to turn it into a go-to site for musicians or something. No idea how that’s working but it seems that the only people using MySpace are musicians.
Gin & Tonic
@Paul in KY: I’m betting a husky is pretty heavy for that. Our little old guy is only 16 pounds, so he gets carried up and down the stairs daily. He’s otherwise in OK health at 15, and given enough time he might make it up the stairs, but his cataracts are bad enough that he is effectively blind, so it’s a challenge for him.
Bostondreams, PhD
@shelley:
William Jennings Bryan? Three time loser in the general election.
Goblue72
@Comrade Jake: Tressel wasn’t their coach. He was former head coach of “THE” Ohio State University, where he built OSU as the dominant football team in the Big Ten during his decade long tenure. He was most recently Executive VP at U of Akron. So it’s not as insane as it sounds – presumably he will bring attention and dollars to what I can only assume is a middling regional state school.
More troubling is he got the job in spite of leaving OSU under a cloud for NCAA rules violations.
And I’m a Michigan alum, so should totally hate the guy, in terms of any biases in my above description.
Violet
@Shinobi: Is there any space to install a small elevator? That would be a huge expense but depending how long you intend to stay in the house could be useful as you age.
Also, this Comfort Lift sling gets good reviews.
Paul in KY
@Gin & Tonic: I have Shinobi pictured in my mind as this big old brute. Probably not feasible to carry the dog, as if he freaked, it could cause Shinobi to fall down stairs.
Mabe just try to get him to stop whining (if possible).
Paul in KY
@Goblue72: Jim Tressel was coach at Youngstown State back in the early 90s.
Trollhattan
@Violet:
Some disagree, but I think the name change to “My Lawn is Not Your Space” was particularly unhelpful.
Cassidy
Interesting
http://wonkette.com/548653/youll-never-believe-which-inhuman-monster-doesnt-care-to-find-nigerian-schoolgirls-its-glenn-greenwald
Schlemizel
@shelley: Back in the day Eugene McCarthy maybe. But that was less serious and more “HEY LOOK AT ME!!!”
EDIT: @Bostondreams, PhD: yeah, didn’t even think that far back
Villago Delenda Est
@gbear: Condolences. Been there, done that with my little brother, some 27 years ago.
Bob In Portland
@Omnes Omnibus: Correct. At Parry’s site, consortium news.
MikeJ
@Cassidy: His argument seems to be that if your country has ever done anything for impure motives, you and all future leaders (whether they agreed with the bad things or not) are forever forbidden from trying to do anything good.
There are always plenty of good arguments against military intervention, but being pissed off at Henry Kissinger doesn’t really make the grade.
srv
@gbear Condolences.
@Mike E: Dude is still going strong. George pocketed about a dozen blunts for the Motherships engines. Kid next to me asked “Is it really over this time?” after 3 hours. We were done.
Violet
@Trollhattan: I must have missed that name. Was that before or after the name change to GetOffMyLawnSpace? I know they were trying lots of things to see what worked.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@Shinobi: I’m so sorry to hear that. He may be having back issues as well, which would be aggravated by stair climbing/unclimbing. If that’s the case, a towel sling won’t help and could be uncomfortable, and it would explain stopping emphatically as the climb hurts. I hate to offer my best suggestion, which is getting a couch comfortable enough to sleep on downstairs so he has company.
@gbear,: My condolences for your loss. I’m certain your niece appreciates your support more than she can express.
Villago Delenda Est
@Xecky Gilchrist: Is it sterile if it passes from your bladder through a urinary tract infection, or, say, the clap?
Higgs Boson's Mate
@gbear:
My deepest condolences. Losing a member of the family is always so difficult. When you’re estranged from them it adds a whole layer of sorrow and regret. Been there. I’ll hold you in my best thoughts, friend.
Violet
@Villago Delenda Est: Speaking of UTIs, they’re now going to kill you:
Cassidy
@MikeJ: Yeah. This appears to be a case of contrarian for clicks; ad revenue ain’t gonna materialize out of nowhere. Personally, I don’t see what’s controversial in sending military and LE aid.
Gene108
@Xecky Gilchrist:
Urine in the body is sterile. There is no bacteria in the human urinary tract, unlike our gut, which is full of bacteria.
When the urinary tract gets bacteria, we get a urinary tract infection.
Gene108
@gbear:
My condolences to you on your loss.
shelley
@Schlemizel:
There was some statistics dude on NPR a while ago, crunching the numbers on returning presidential candidates. And basically, with each return attempt, the odds get worse and worse. Someone should tell Willard. But as suggested, if he still believes he’s been chosen….
Thunderbird
Just saw the list of R’s who are on going to be on the, ahem, B-word “committee.”
Susan Brooks, my congresscritter, is on it.
Of fucking course. *sigh*
Ruckus
A nice warm shower in the morning. A great way to start the day.
I do like warm water rather than piss but I guess if you’re a cow ya gotta take what you can get.
soonergrunt (mobile)
@gbear: in sorry for your loss, and I hope that you and your niece and your family can pull something good from this for all of you. I’ll keep you all in my thoughts this weekend.
J R in WV
@gbear:
I’m sorry for your losses – this one and the one before that meant you were separated. I am glad you’re in contact with your niece, she will need your support. Don’t put yourself down, you can provide an anchor in a troubled time.
Good luck!
JR
MomSense
@gbear:
I’m so sorry for your loss. Don’t sell yourself short in terms of how you can support your niece. Yes, she may be turning to her friends and dad right now in this acute stage of grief but as time goes on you can keep her mom’s memory alive for her. You can fill in those stories about her mom’s childhood and she will cherish this connection to her mom through you.
Sending you a big hug. I think we all wish we could do more.
WereBear
@Shinobi: My own elderly (89 in human years) cat did great with added dry gelatin to his grain-free cat food for his joints. He used to show off by jumping from the bed to the bureau to show he felt better. Works for doggies, too.
Added animal fat is often missing from our pet’s food but both dogs and cats need it very much. Add some bacon fat to his next meal, butter his treats, and give him fish oil capsules. Can do wonders.
I do! The Adirondack Park of NY.
artem1s
this is kind of an interesting thing developing in the net neutrality world…
http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2014/05/web-host-gives-fcc-a-28-8kbps-slow-lane-in-net-neutrality-protest/
also this is one of the best explanations I have seen why net neutrality matters…
http://front.moveon.org/what-happens-when-cable-companies-try-to-rip-us-off/
liberal
This Billmon tweet is LOL funny:
Violet
@artem1s: Your two links are the same.
Ruckus
@gbear:
Sorry for your loss.
Jay C
@shelley:
Adlai Stevenson II comes to mind as well (though Bryan certainly takes the all-time Futility Prize [American division]. Harold Stassen gets the silver). Supposedly, even after his losses to Eisenhower in 1952 and 1956, old Adlai went to the Dem Convention in 1960 hoping to get a third nod in case the Convention couldn’t choose between Kennedy and Johnson. He actually got 5% of the vote, too.
Shinobi
Thanks for the suggestions all. I will look into all of them. (Except putting him down, RUDE.) He’s really getting around much better with the pain management that we’re doing, at this point he just wont try. But he’s very very stubborn, typical of huskies. (He also weighs about 90lbs, and HATES being carried, so, no go on that.)
It looks like I will remain on the air mattress for the foreseeable future.