I Never Had a Chance

Here’s a great pic of Steve, the walking Ottoman, sleeping on the Ottoman, on one of the few occasions he, like my other pets, is not on Shawn’s lap and not following him around the house like he is the pied piper.


Shawn just shared this video with me of his pet squirrels outside his apartment in Ocean City:

No wonder my pets abandoned me for Doctor Doolittle. At least Lily and Rosie still sleep with me at night.

84 replies
  1. 1
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    Matthew Sweet and Susanna Hoffs. If you are the right age, you will get it.

  2. 2
    wormtown says:

    Steve showed up in a dream I had a few nights ago. For some reason, you (John) had given him to me to watch for a few days. I was worried about how he would get along with my cat (Bridget); but they got along fine.

  3. 3
    Yatsuno says:

    At least Lily and Rosie still sleep with me at night

    Give it time…

    So I am going to be in Fresno from May 13th through the 22nd. Since the gubmint made me change my plane reservations I now have a better argument for a rental car on their dime. Instructor was supposed to come rescue me from the airport but now I’m getting in way too early for that to happen, but I may just say fuck it and rent one anyway. So…meet-up?

  4. 4
    Tommy says:

    I don’t know the whole back story of Shawn. But the Maryland/Delaware place? The only Ocean City know

  5. 5
    Alison says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: OMG you are my new favorite person for this.

  6. 6
    Jennifer says:

    I have pet squirrels too. Well, not pets, but tame ones. They’ll come jump up on me to get food. If I’m not outside, the tamest one will come and stand on the threshold for the french doors and peek in looking for me. The funniest thing is the cat – they aren’t afraid of her and the tamest squirrel has chased her several times.

    I also have a couple of blue jays who will get in the tree by the patio when I’m outside and warble for food. I toss a peanut, they fly down and get it.

  7. 7
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Alison: It is really, really good, isn’t it?

  8. 8
    Tommy says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: I had not heard this. But anytime you post something that says Matthew Sweet I will click on the link. I think I own everything he has done. My favorite:


  9. 9
    Alison says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: SO GOOD. And damn, reminds me that I haven’t listened to Matthew Sweet in years and I don’t know why. Must remedy!

  10. 10
    Steeplejack says:


    Where does Steve sleep at night? If you mentioned it before, I don’t remember.

    And, hey, you want squirrel whispering? I have a couple of friends in Atlanta who are the kings. They raised a couple of squirrels from babies after they fell out of a tree. Even made a little habitat for them on their outdoor porch.

    Feeding time.

  11. 11
    NotMax says:

    Open Thread? Goody.

    Watched the first episode of Penny Dreadful, which premieres on Showtime on May 11 (but is viewable for free now on YouTube)..

    Not too shabby a production, touching on but not (yet) reveling in the hoariest of Gothic cliche, and positively drenched in High Victorian atmosphere.

    Best part for this watcher? The sets and locations are to die for (no pun intended).

  12. 12
    Tommy says:

    @Alison: If you an I were on a date and you said you had just listened to Mathew Sweet I might like you a lot! Want to hug you. I guess it shouldn’t surprise me that folks here know who he is, but I guess it does.

  13. 13
    PurpleGirl says:

    My friend who had the Doberman pinscher has a way with animals. On one trip to Florida he and his wife went to one of those swim with dolphins pools. There were several other people wanting to swim with the dolphins; the place had to extend their time in the pool because all the dolphins were ignoring all the people except for my friend. The dolphins just didn’t want to interact with anyone else.

  14. 14
    Tommy says:

    @NotMax: Watched it twice, cause I like me some Gothic horror. I wanted to like it. Honestly I didn’t get it. Not a fan. I will watch it again just cause maybe I am wrong.

  15. 15
    Steeplejack says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Made me think of this: Matthew’s Southern Comfort.

  16. 16
    Suzanne says:

    My elder spawn has had stomach flu this week, and it looks like she shared with me. Chills, barf….just another exciting night here at Casa de Suzanne.

  17. 17
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Alison: I walked in a bar/club in Columbus years ago and MS was starting a performance. It was brilliant.

  18. 18
    Tommy says:

    @PurpleGirl: I don’t mean to tote my own horn but I am that guy. Animals just love me. Again I don’t know why exactly. But I can walk up to any of them and hit it off.

  19. 19
    Steeplejack says:


    Couldn’t find a YouTube clip of Sweet and Hoffs doing the Raspberries’ “Go All the Way,” so I’ll settle for “And Your Bird Can Sing.”

    Oh, hell, here’s the Raspberries lip-sync’ing on TV.

  20. 20
    Suzanne says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: That is one of my husband’s favorite songs (the Linda version). I have to say I don’t get it. Sorry.

  21. 21
    lurker dean says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: of the right age indeed, that was really good. i had no idea they collaborated, let alone on so many covers.

  22. 22
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Suzanne: Okay. Matthew Sweet is about my age. Susanna Hoffs is a couple of years older, but goddamn. The song is good and written by a Monkee. Does that help?

  23. 23
    NotMax says:


    Not sure if I liked it, but did appreciate the effort that went into it. As the premise is a slow-burning infusion of classic tropes (Frankenstein, Dracula, Dorian Gray, etc.) into the foundational story of the main characters, it could tip either way, becoming either innovative or tiresome. And Timothy Dalton skirts perilously close to becoming Patrick Stewart. Doesn’t mean I disliked it, just that the jury is still out.

    The work of the set designer(s) and set dresser(s) did just blow me away, however. (There’s a ‘behind the scenes’ video in which one can see that a lot of it was filmed on sets).

  24. 24
    Suzanne says:

    Susanna and Matthew are good. I honestly don’t get the song. But multiple people whose taste I generally trust love it, so maybe it’s just me.

  25. 25
    Steeplejack says:


    You march to a different drum, s’all.

  26. 26
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Suzanne: Will this help you sleep better?

  27. 27
    aangus says:

    And now for something completely different…

    Spring IS here.


  28. 28
    Suzanne says:

    This is a song I’ve been loving on the past few month.

  29. 29
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Steeplejack: Well played indeed.

  30. 30
    trollhattan says:

    My Friday gift to y’all

  31. 31
    Shana says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: For some reason, your song reminds me of this one. I hope the link works, but if it doesn’t, it’s Marshall Crenshaw singing “Walk Away Renee”

    ETA: I clearly have no idea how to embed a link. Sorry.

  32. 32
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Suzanne: Fuck me. This is wonderful. Jebus. Damn. She is brilliant.

  33. 33
    Suzanne says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Fourteen-year-old Suzanne used to listen to that album nonstop every night. Hah.

  34. 34
    Steeplejack says:


    YouTube says video unavailable for me. Maybe this is the same?

  35. 35
    Suffern ACE says:

    I think I have my vanity. Finally. I think I’ve looked at 1000.

  36. 36
    Steeplejack says:


    Your link came out with “yoTI” in it (uppercase I) instead of the “yoTl” (lowercase L) that YouTube wanted.

  37. 37
  38. 38
  39. 39
    Suzanne says:

    Vomiting is so tiring. Feh.

  40. 40
    Jackie says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: I was in Jr High when Linda Ronstadt and Stone Poney had this hit. I still remember singing this while my sister and I were making my mom and dad’s bed (double-bed training.)

  41. 41
  42. 42
    Jackie says:

    @Tommy: I am a cat whisperer… don’t know why, but… even feral cats will come to me. And, every spring a Mallard duck couple show up in my yard for about 3 weeks – I don’t have a pool. Don’t live next to water – in fact nearest water I know is a man-made canal about a 1/2 mile away. Columbia River is at least 3 miles away. Mr and Mrs Mallard Duck hang out in my yard, eat my bread, enjoy my sprinkler and disappear. This started 4 springs ago. Love it and my young grandchildren love helping feed the ducks – but why they started showing up is a complete mystery.

  43. 43
    aangus says:


    Such is life. Enjoy it.


    : )

  44. 44
    Ruckus says:

    It’s where they were when they wanted to stop. Done that before myself, tired of moving, ended up in unusual places. If they were OK I might stop there again when I passed by next time.

  45. 45
    moderateindy says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: That is probably my favorite of the covers that those two do, although, “and your bird can sing” is pretty close. It helps that it is a Nesmith tune, a guy that doesn’t get nearly enough credit for his songwriting abilty. It’s actually a clip from 7 or 8 years ago, I think they toured under the name, Sid and Susie. Hoffs is still gorgeous, as far as Sweet goes, my favorite you tube comment was; “Oh my god I think Matthew Sweet ate the rest of the Bangles.”

  46. 46
    Ruckus says:

    If we are going for something a little different.

  47. 47
  48. 48
    aangus says:

    *tap, tap*

    Is this thing on!


  49. 49
  50. 50
    Suffern ACE says:

    Macaroni and cheese waffles. What other things are out there that I didn’t know existed until today.

  51. 51
    Ruckus says:

    @Suffern ACE:
    I’ll bet there are lots of things out there that you don’t know exist. I’ll also bet there are lots of them you don’t want to know exist. And I’ll also bet that a lot of those things people put in their mouths thinking they are food.

  52. 52
  53. 53
    BillinGlendaleCA says:

    @Steeplejack: “Go all the Way” is what I’ve set for my wife’s ring tone.

  54. 54
    Roger Moore says:

    @Suffern ACE:

    What other things are out there that I didn’t know existed until today.

    Beer with higher ABV than a typical whiskey?

  55. 55
    BillinGlendaleCA says:

    I saw something different on my walk tonight. Walking up one of the main streets here, I saw two of Glendale’s finest coming in the opposing direction down the sidewalk on Segways.

  56. 56
    aangus says:

    Once, in El Paso, you shot one…


  57. 57
  58. 58
    Jackie says:

    @aangus: Oh, and I do! Life is for living, and living is life! :)

  59. 59
  60. 60
    NotMax says:


    Classic Can Can, upped a few notches.

  61. 61
    Betty Cracker says:

    I broke down and started watching “Mad Men” this week. (No spoilers!) Much ostentatious smoking and drinkIng! And gyad, what a bunch of sexist swine!

  62. 62
    MomSense says:

    @Betty Cracker:

    I watched the first season and maybe 3/4 of the second until I decided that I just didn’t like any of the characters enough to keep watching.

  63. 63
    raven says:

    @Betty Cracker: It’s fun but getting old.

  64. 64
    Baud says:


    I didn’t even make it through season 1.

  65. 65
    MomSense says:


    You didn’t miss anything except more bad behavior.

  66. 66
    Baud says:


    I get enough of that here!

  67. 67
    raven says:

    @Baud: You rang?

  68. 68
    JPL says:

    @MomSense: That’s how I felt about Breaking Bad. I think it’s a mistake to drag the last season of Mad Men over two years but no one asked me.

  69. 69
    Amir Khalid says:

    The greatest FBI agent ever has passed away.

  70. 70
    raven says:

    @JPL: We watched it all in 2 months.

  71. 71
    raven says:

    @Amir Khalid: Saw that this morning. 77 Sunset Strip was more fun! I watched Indian Runner, good but NOT fun.

  72. 72
  73. 73
    NotMax says:


    The street that wears a fancy label
    That’s glorified in song and fable
    The most exciting people pass you by
    Including a private eye

    Seventy Seven Sunset Strip (snap snap)
    Seventy Seven Sunset Strip
    (snap snap)
    Seventy Seven Sunset Strip

  74. 74
    MikeJ says:

    @raven: I’ll bet it’s “remote control airplane with a video camera” rather than a drone as they claim.

    It’s possible (maybe likely) that other people don’t care about the distinction, but I think “drone” should be reserved for autonomous vehicles. Where one draws the line between “rc plane” and “unmanned aerial vehicle” could be a matter of debate, but it’s probably just size and whether its engine is made by Cox or General Electric.

  75. 75
    Betty Cracker says:

    @raven: My kiddo takes film classes, and they have a drone camera sorta like this. So fucking cool.

  76. 76
    MikeJ says:

    @Betty Cracker: When I was in college it was all hand cranked Bolex. Of course we had to walk to the film developing lab, uphill, both ways, in the snow.

  77. 77
    Schlemizel says:

    My brother had a roommate in college that told stories of a squirrel that had lost one of its paws. His family felt bad for it & started feeding it peanuts and it would climb on their screen door and knock with its stump leg until they would come out and give him peanuts.

    One time they were feeding the guy after he banged on the door when they noticed another squirrel limping along on 3 leg coming towards them for peanuts. The one they were feeding had 4 good paws but had tucked the one up & thy hadn’t noticed. Turns out they had been feeding several other ones that had learned that there were some suckers in the hood that would feed you for free if you walked on 3 legs!

  78. 78
    Betty Cracker says:

    @Schlemizel: Hahaha! I believe it. Squirrels are smart as hell, and cooperative. I once saw several form a squirrel-chain to swing one of their number to the platform of a particularly hard-to-defeat birdfeeder, where he or she dumped out a ton of seed for the waiting comrades below.

  79. 79

    @Schlemizel: The squirrels here love to tease my German Shepherd and she in turn keeps them away so the birds can eat when she is out on the deck. I have just stopped feeding the birds for the summer (because the bears and skunks are waking up) and there was still a squirrel out trying to get something out of the empty feeder. Soon he was on top and started chewing on the rope and a few seconds later -boom- down goes the feeder.

  80. 80
    WaterGirl says:

    Thanks for the great wake-up thread, you guys. Starting with the great song from Omnes all the way to 77 Sunset Strip and the FBI, and the funny story about squirrels pretending to be hurt to get food, and all the great songs and stuff in between.

    Sad to lose Ephram Zimbalist Jr., but there are some sweet memories hidden in both of the linked articles.

  81. 81
    Bex says:


    Kookie, Kookie lend me your comb.

  82. 82
    Howard Beale IV says:

    @aangus: Only those two could have pulled off such a cover.

  83. 83
    Shana says:

    @Steeplejack: Yes, thanks. Perhaps one of these days I’ll figure this stuff out.

  84. 84
    Roxy says:

    I loved with Efram Zimbalist played a con man on Remington Steele. Stephanie Zimbalist, the lead actress on the show, is his daughter.

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