Oh, BTW- You Need to Watch This

I have been chuckling about this dismantling of Hannity by Jon Stewart all day, and you really need to watch it, if only to see the phrase sriracha bukkake used, well, appropriately.

I’m not even going to bother trying to embed the spot because the Comedy Central website is now an even worse incomprehensible mess with an actually shittier embed than before. I wish I knew who rebuilt that website to actually make it worse, because it was already a total fucking disaster and embedded videos crashed my browsers 90% of the time. I wish I knew them, because I would choke them out with a ball gag made from teletype tape and then beat them to death with a flail made of old floppy drives.

Does anyone test their fucking website layouts anymore before going live? When I look at abominations like USA Today or the new Comedy Central website, I think we all might have been better off if we just fucking stopped at usenet.

54 replies
  1. 1
    Hill Dweller says:

    Colbert also destroyed Hannity and the welfare rancher tonight.

    As an aside, I’ve heard Fallon has been incorporating a lot of wingnut talking points into his skits/monologues lately, in a totally non ironic way.

  2. 2
    NotMax says:

    It’s not going to tell me anything about Hannity I don’t already know all too well.

  3. 3
    Steeplejack says:


    [. . .] the Comedy Central website is now an even worse incomprehensible mess with an actually shittier embed than before.

    You hit a nerve there. I have missed The Daily Show and The Colbert Report this week, and I wanted to see how they handled the Cliven Bundy thing and Sean Hannity’s challenge to Stewart, and today I thought, “Oh, I’ll just go to the Comedy Central site and watch the episodes on line.” And then I remembered that every time I go through Comedy Central to get to a Daily Show or Colbert clip the experience is so painful that I end up wishing that someone would choke me out with a ball gag. And, as you said, when I see that another site is embedding a Comedy Central clip on their page I pretty much head straight for the door.

    And it’s not like they’re grappling with some intractable, bleeding-edge technology problem. You’d think they could at least get into the ball park of YouTube’s performance, even if they don’t have the same level of resources available. But no.

  4. 4
    Linkmeister says:

    Teletype tape! Alright! Bright yellow five-level punched paper tape!

  5. 5
    NotMax says:

    OT (no open thread in sight):

    A second site of radioactive waste material from drilling is found in North Dakota.

    “Between brine being dumped on the roads, human waste being dumped in farm yards, and now these radioactive socks — oh my gosh, it’s out of control.”
    Confirmation of the new site came as a Calgary, Alta.-based company, Secure Energy Services, said it removed 45 cubic yards of radioactive waste Wednesday, more than double what was originally estimated, from what had been described in February as the largest dump found so far. Source

    If there’s a second, there’s bound to be a third. If there’s a third…

  6. 6
    TG Chicago says:

    Oh golly, that USA Today site… yeesh.

    Regarding Cliven Bundy, I found this amusing:


    Just the still shot in the youtube video. The caption describes Bundy’s racist rant as “POLARIZING COMMENTS”.

    Polarizing? WOW. That’s one way to put it. Is holocaust denial “polarizing”? I mean, yeah, technically, but that’s not the way any sane person would describe it.

  7. 7
    JoeShabadoo says:

    I think the new Comedy Central site is great. Before I could never watch a full Colbert or tds on my iPad because the website didn’t work and the shitty apps just did clips. Now the site works on my iPad so I can watch when I run.

  8. 8
    🌷 Martin says:

    When the FBI goes to visit Bundy, they should send only black agents.

  9. 9
    John Cole says:

    @JoeShabadoo: Speaking for EVERY FUCKING DRIVER ON THE FUCKING PLANET, stop watching your iPad while jogging, for fucks sake.

  10. 10
    JoeShabadoo says:

    @JoeShabadoo: also Ballon juice is terrible on the iPad. I can’t open links like the one posted above in separate tabs for some reason so I have to leave the site to see it.

  11. 11
    JoeShabadoo says:

    @John Cole: I watch shows while running on a treadmill where I can sit it in front of me. I’m not crazy enough to do it on the road. I didn’t even know that was a thing.

  12. 12
    Seanly says:

    How much damage does a flail made from old floppies do? I’m thinking 2-5 vs S,M but only 1-3 vs L.

  13. 13
    NotMax says:

    OT again:

    Honestly, if it was a scene in a novel it would be dismissed as too contrived and over the top.

    A young pilgrim has been crushed to death by a giant crucifix dedicated to Pope John Paul II. Source

  14. 14
    Arclite says:

    The problem is, no one wants to pay for QA.

  15. 15
    🌷 Martin says:

    @Seanly: Remember, floppies containing OS/2 get a +1 modifier vs undead.

  16. 16
    askew says:

    @Hill Dweller:

    As an aside, I’ve heard Fallon has been incorporating a lot of wingnut talking points into his skits/monologues lately, in a totally non ironic way.

    Apparently, some of Jay Leno’s shitty writers stuck around for Fallon’s show. He’s been doing Clinton jokes. The last one about Hillary got him booed and then dead silence from his audience. He’s definitely misreading his audience if he thinks rightwing jokes will work. His audience is way too young and urban for that shit to fly.

  17. 17
    🌷 Martin says:

    @Arclite: It’s a crucifix. Isn’t the whole point that God takes care of the QA for free?

  18. 18
    🌷 Martin says:

    @askew: Colbert is going to take the young urban audience. Fallon needs to get Jay’s olds back.

  19. 19
    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again) says:


    Why am I thinking that this is a no-brainer?

    This is not the first death caused by a falling crucifix in Italy.

  20. 20
    askew says:

    @🌷 Martin:

    @askew: Colbert is going to take the young urban audience. Fallon needs to get Jay’s olds back.

    That’s possible but Colbert doesn’t start until 2015. There’s no point in alienating your core audience before you have to.

  21. 21
    Ruckus says:

    Isn’t alienating their core the actual business of conservative media and politicians? I mean they speak about values, virtue and other such bullshit they don’t really believe in or practice, all the while encouraging the screwing of their unsuspecting and hateful supporters(and the rest of us as well). Notice I didn’t say paymasters, I said supporters.

  22. 22

    It’s not really about betraying the constituency to their paymasters. There is a basic, universal conservative principle involved. They will defend to the death anyone’s right to fuck over someone else, even if they themselves are that someone else.

  23. 23
    Jordan Rules says:

    @TG Chicago: …wow…
    That’s kinda the straw that broke it for me today (really yesterday). Read the thread where RareSanity posted the comment and was so happy JC front-paged it. Read that thread too in between working 3 times harder than the salt-n-pepper haired older cat we let go. Not really supposed to be replacing him, but here I am doing much of his job and all of mine for about 3/5ths the pay. Yup, 3/5ths. That’s too mf’in rich. Damn. Anyhoo, rough day and I loved the threads here today. This one tidbit brought the tears though. Polarizing?!? The inability to call it what it is in the headline is scary. I notice where the framing is taking a turn in a lot of places. Inching towards the moment where they can just completely dismiss it. Then comes the dehumanization. And so on…
    Good on most of the folks here and their generally meaningful dialogue today, it will be needed. Trust.

  24. 24
    Mumbles says:

    Eh, Sean Hannity’s a muppet. Taking him down is no difficult task. Jon Stewart did it amusingly, but ultimately, so what?

  25. 25
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    Shout out to Amir Khalid: The ball cozies on Sean Hannity’s website are made in Malaysia! (or so Stewart asserts…)

  26. 26
    Rich2506 says:

    Yeah, people are getting sloppy as far as testing their technology goes. My local mall has installed wifi, but my Samsung tablet can’t get on it as it asks for me to check off the statement of understanding, but that button in unpressable, so I can’t get on. Clearly, people tested it with just a few devices, not including my device.

  27. 27
    Schlemizel says:

    That first 12 minutes of TDS may be the best work they have ever done – it was a delight. Sadly, there is no cross over in audience so the people who need to see it, the shut-ins and losers of Foxtown will only learn of it if insHannity brings it up again and then only his twisted take on the work.

    We live in a fucked up world where watching Cable news makes you less informed, watching The Learning Channel makes you stupider and watching Comedy Central can make you smarter.

  28. 28
    EriktheRed says:

    @Mumbles: Somebody on another site dubbed Hannity “Ass-chasm”, since asshole isn’t big enough to describe him. Since then I’ve adopted the name fo myself.

    I’ve found his schtick so disgusting that I cheer every time he gets whomped, even though I realize now just how low-hanging his fruit really is.

  29. 29
    Ramalama says:

    @Schlemizel: Yup – I watched TDS for the first time in maybe months. Such a pain using my online cloaking device to watch it. Soo glad I did. The Hannity segment is indeed one of the best takedowns ever.

  30. 30

    Does anyone test their fucking website layouts anymore before going live?

    Of course! The graphic designer shows a mock-up to the two executives paying the bill. The execs do not waste time or money with usability analysis, or test across platforms, it looks fine on the mock-up! Gaia help us anyone consults with, you know, an actual end-user. All they do is piss and moan anyway.

    YuoTube is a service and a platform, Comedy Central is a brand; hence, the difference in experience. Besides, CC works fine for Safari, what the hell else matters?

  31. 31
    Tripod says:

    I suspect the is issue is design and tested to mobile devices, and you fucking old people with your personal computers…

  32. 32
    poptartacus says:

    hey watch your fucking language

  33. 33
    Applejinx says:

    Looks like you can’t pause it on Chrome: it replayed from the start, including the Corona placard. Back to the funny…

  34. 34
    Central Planning says:

    +1 to JC for knowing what usenet is. NNTP admin was one of my job responsibilities in a past life.

  35. 35
    cat says:

    One question. 3 1/2 or 5 1/4 flail of floppy drives?

  36. 36
    AndoChronic says:

    Hannity ball cozies. Can you add those to the BJ store John? Maybe to get around copyright call them “Sean’s Ball Sack”.

  37. 37
    FourTen says:

    Worst web sites? Local TV and radio stations, hands down.

    Oscar Clip: the local sports radio site that refreshes itself to display new ads, which breaks their own stream

  38. 38
    meander says:

    The Daily Show is hosted on Hulu too, so you should be able to embed from Hulu. They provide both clips and full episodes. Long ago I gave up on trying to watch The Daily Show and The Colbert Report on the Comedy Central crapsite, and was overjoyed when Hulu started hosting.

  39. 39

    Does anyone test their fucking website layouts anymore before going live?

    Nope. Maybe a unit test and then it gets shoved out the door. It’s cheaper that way. You suckers…erm, I mean customers, will deal with it and not complain in any fashion that affects the owner’s life, so why shouldn’t coders do it this way?

  40. 40
    WaterGirl says:

    @JoeShabadoo: I made the same assumption as Cole, though I did wonder how you could run and hold your iPad so you could watch it at the same time.

  41. 41
    polyorchnid octopunch says:

    I loved usenet. NNTP is still a great protocol, and still one of the best ways to manage groups of thousands of people all talking at once in a room (er, newsgroup). It’s too bad the spammers destroyed it, and nobody wanted to fix the problem.

  42. 42
    LAC says:

    @JoeShabadoo: don’t worry. I didn’t think you were running in the street with your iPad. I pray that it is either drunk posting or some attempt at comedy by Cole.Otherwise…wowwwww

    CC seems to work fine on the ole iPad.

  43. 43
    polyorchnid octopunch says:

    @Seanly: What if it’s a +3 Bad Webdev Floppy Flail?

  44. 44
    polyorchnid octopunch says:

    @🌷 Martin: ha! I’ve got enough of those to punch up a whole bunch of flails!

  45. 45
    Stephanie says:

    Colbert’s take down is awesome as well.


  46. 46
    Violet says:

    I think we all might have been better off if we just fucking stopped at usenet.

    No kidding.

  47. 47
    kc says:


    Perhaps it’s designed to work ONLY on iPads.

  48. 48
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Violet: Making the Internet easy enough for any MBA idiot savant to navigate may have been a mistake

  49. 49
    danimal says:

    This post would have been better if Cole worked in the word “falafel.”

    But I guess we’ll just have to be content with the choking on a ball gag bit once more.

  50. 50
    Villago Delenda Est says:


    The execs do not waste time or money with usability analysis, or test across platforms

    You’re so cruel. That money is NEEDED for hookers and blow.

    Fucking communist.

  51. 51
    Paul T says:

    Phrase I never thought I would read:

    “teletype tape ball gag”……

  52. 52
    doug r says:

    @Steeplejack: You think that’s bad, if your computer is in Canada, you immediately get blocked and told to Comedy Network.

  53. 53
    tom says:

    Great clip by Stewart, though I think he missed the biggest “proportion” based comment of Hannity’s, that waterboarding is just like being dunked and that he volunteered (but never followed through) to be waterboarded for charity.

  54. 54
    Sean says:

    @Hill Dweller:
    To be the next Jay Leno you must first sell your soul.

    As far as crappy web-sites go, that’s all part of Agile development. Just keep throwing shit out there and fix it later. Speed of development outweighs quality of product.

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