Time To Update the Old Joke

Completely not safe for work:

Tell me that anything Gilbert Gottfried said was more obscene than this.

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42 replies
  1. 1
    Davis X. Machina says:

    Local control of, say, education, I am sure on the other hand is non-negotiable.

    Subsidiarity for me, but not for thee.

  2. 2
    ed says:

    Also, too, Gov. Fallin had a boil on her back. That popped.

  3. 3
    the Conster says:

    Oklahoma is not OK.

    ETA: That pustule of a woman needs a funnel of shit in that orifice.

  4. 4
    jl says:

    Glad that a small government, decentralized decision making, local community autonomy, conservative like Fallin knows what is good for every single city, town, whistle-stop and burg in her state. Takes a load off my mind. I’m sure the working poor of OK will thank her for telling their local elected officials what to do.

    Edit: why was the bill such a threat? OK used to be a progressive bastion on working-person issues, I guess from Great Depression trauma. Rumblings of discontent from below, even in OK?

  5. 5
    beltane says:

    It says that Oklahoma is ranked 45th in quality of life, Gov. Fallin is aiming for 50th out of 50.

    I’m telling you, wingnuts hate liberals more than they love their children. If they thought that ingesting rat poison would piss us off, they would totally go for it.

  6. 6
    Jennifer says:

    Sadly, not a surprise. Oklahoma has been reactionary, bat-shit crazy for at least the past 25 years, and I say this as a resident of Arkansas.

    Back in the day when I was doing public initiative work, I always hated trying to do anything in Fort Smith (right on the OK border). It’s as if the crazy had wicked over the state line. I’d come back to the office and yell, “let’s CUT IT OFF and GIVE IT TO OKLAHOMA!”

    Oddly, they have universal Pre-K, but they only got it in a very roundabout way, which I’m sure Soonergrunt could explain much better than I could. Other than that…..

  7. 7
    Violet says:

    @beltane: Keep saying that President Obama should come out in support of breathing. Wingnuts would therefore turn against breathing. Problem solved.

  8. 8
    burnspbesq says:


    Rat poison’s not the best example to use, since at least one commonly used rat poison has legitimate medical uses in humans.

    Maybe President Obama should hold a press conference and announce that he is adamantly opposed to people drinking Liquid Plumbr.

  9. 9
    Howard Beale IV says:

    And that link includes the Anti-Christ Jindhal in the background.

    Soonergrunt, I pity that you have to live with such a 16th century belief system known as Oklahoma Republicans.

  10. 10
    burnspbesq says:

    Speaking of old jokes …

    Of course they did.

    The Chicago Cubs celebrated the 100th anniversary of the first game at Wrigley Field in the most appropriate way: with a gut-wrenching loss.


  11. 11
    Keith G says:

    First, Gilbert is a classic and fuck Aflac for using a substitute voice performer to do the character that he created.

    Second, while the actions in Oklahoma are hideous, the real obscenity will be if the Democrats do not use this as part of a scorched-earth campaign to paint the GOP as the detestable and heartless freaks that they are. We are beginning to see a few local candidates take this tack, but this need to be a top down assertion of practical truth. This is what is at stake in November 2014.

  12. 12
  13. 13
    Hungry Joe says:

    This triggers yet more empathy fail: I cannot get into the heads of these cretins. What can possibly be the thrill of working hard to make people’s lives miserable? Of striving mightily to screw people over, people who have so little? This country is so damn rich; there’s enough for everyone to live a decent, comfortable life and still, even after some dreaded wealth redistribution, allow the rich to keep more money than they or their entitled great-grandkids could ever spend. I read this stuff and it makes me dizzy, befuddled, bewildered.

  14. 14
    dmsilev says:


    Maybe President Obama should hold a press conference and announce that he is adamantly opposed to people drinking Liquid Plumbr.

    I’ve been advocating for the ‘don’t drink bleach and lick live power sockets’ campaign myself.

  15. 15
    beltane says:

    @dmsilev: Michelle can do a public service announcement. That would do the trick.

  16. 16
    Rex Everything says:

    Hey everybody, look at GG only caring about white people as he schools the shit out of Bill Maher.

  17. 17
    Baud says:

    @Hungry Joe:

    What can possibly be the thrill of working hard to make people’s lives miserable?

    The God-like feeling you get when they reelect you.

  18. 18
    Citizen_X says:

    Ah, but John, what you fail to realize is that Fallin’s bill is a complete parallel to the Aristocrats joke, one that’s very popular on the right. It’s just that its punchline is “Local control!”

  19. 19
    Roger Moore says:

    Note, though, that the first game at Wrigley Field did not involve the Cubs. The original home team at then Weeghman Park was the Whales of the Federal League, a short-lived league trying to become a rival to the AL and NL. When the FL folded, the Whales’ owner, Charles Weeghman, formed a syndicate (including William Wrigley Jr.) that bought the Cubs and moved them from their old grounds to the relatively new Weeghman Field. Wrigley got control of the team a few years later and after a few more years changed the name of the stadium to Wrigley Field.

  20. 20
    Roger Moore says:

    @Hungry Joe:

    What can possibly be the thrill of working hard to make people’s lives miserable?

    The wingnut welfare from the 0.1%ers who want things that way.

  21. 21
    Chyron HR says:

    @Rex Everything:

    It absolutely kills you to know that at this very moment, someone, somewhere in the world is wrongthinking about Saint Greenwald, and you can’t do anything to stop them.

  22. 22
    The Dangerman says:


    … ‘don’t drink bleach and lick live power sockets’ …

    No, come out against Russian Roulette and use it as a reason for gun restrictions.

    ETA: Fuck, the moderation room again. Been a while, love what you’ve done with the place.

  23. 23
    JPL says:

    John, how is your friend and did she have surgery?

  24. 24

    From the link:

    7. Fallin has a history of slamming big government and championing a philosophy of keeping politics local, which is a valid view. So, I would love for her to explain why it’s fine for a state government to control what cities can and can’t do for their communities, but the federal government applying the same approach is a gross overreach.

    We’ve got that same phenomenon in Tennessee. Our GOP super majority state legislature just stepped in to abolish a transit project in Nashville. The legislature has also tried to keep local governments from passing their own zoning and gun laws.

    Apparently “small government’ stops at the state level. This is an actual legal philosophy wingnuts have. They argue that because local governments owe their existence to the state government — at least in Tennessee they do, most exist via state charter — then there’s a consistency to their argument. Of course they conveniently forget this argument when Democrats are the majority in the legislature but still …

  25. 25
    Schlemizel says:

    @Roger Moore: Weren’t the Cards from Chicago or was that football?

  26. 26
    burnspbesq says:

    @Chyron HR:

    Thoughtcrime is everywhere, and it is doubleplusungood.

  27. 27
    Scotius says:

    And now she’s ignoring court orders she doesn’t like.


  28. 28
  29. 29
    muddy says:

    Free market, bitches! Oh wait what

    I guess it’s like personal responsibility. They like to wank on about it but it seems quite ephemeral in practice.

  30. 30
    muddy says:

    @Scotius: True patriots are not constrained by any silly constitution, state or federal.

  31. 31
    🌷 Martin says:

    The best telling from that film was Sarah Silverman’s.

  32. 32
    scav says:

    @Scotius: Mere Laws are for effete Coasters. Real independent bootstrappers string ’em up, shoot ’em or inject bootleg random chemical cocktails into all the people they want to. State’s Rights! It’s the god-fearing party of life crowd. How dare corporate entities take a high-handed moral position and not sell them drugs for executions?! I mean, who do they think they are? And, And, So long as they execute enough people, it’s not cruel and unusual punishment, it’s quotidian. So there.

  33. 33
    Roger Moore says:

    @Southern Beale:

    Apparently “small government’ stops at the state level.

    No. Government is engaging in overreach when it’s doing something they don’t like. When they’re in charge of the federal government, they’re more than happy to use its power to interfere in the way states do things; just ask Michael Schiavo. When they control the state government, they’re happy to use it to boss around cities they don’t like.

  34. 34
    SiubhanDuinne says:


    When Wrigley finally went to night games, one of the Chicago papers headlined the event: THE DUSK OF A NEW ERA.

  35. 35
    efgoldman says:


    Also, too, Gov. Fallin had a boil on her back. That popped.

    That’s her head.

  36. 36
    efgoldman says:


    Weren’t the Cards from Chicago or was that football?

    T’was the old NFL. They moved to St. Louis, then AZ.

  37. 37
    raven says:

    @efgoldman: Sout side, they played at Comiskey. There were some wold fights between the Bears and the Cards a pre-season game.


  38. 38
    Roger Moore says:


    Weren’t the Cards from Chicago or was that football?

    That was in football. The baseball Cardinals have always been in St. Louis, though they were originally called the Browns. They actually started in the old American Association (aka The Beer and Whiskey League), a 19th Century league set up to rival the NL. The old AA lasted from 1882 until 1891, when it collapsed because of the financial fallout from the Players’ League war in 1890. The strongest teams from the AA, including the Browns, were moved into a composite league that was known for a while as the National League and American Association of Professional Baseball Teams. The Browns stayed as the Browns until 1899, when they were temporarily called the Perfectos. They changed their primary color to red and have been known as the Cardinals (originally for the color; the bird came later) ever since.

    When the AL moved their Milwaukee team to St. Louis in 1902, they took the now unused color and name and became the St. Louis Browns most people think of. Lots of team names are recycled. Of the teams currently in the majors, at least the Red Sox, White Sox, Brewers, Orioles, and Nationals are recycled from previous major league teams in the same city.

  39. 39
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Roger Moore: So you are saying there was a Milwaukee Brewers team before the Milwaukee Braves?

  40. 40
    Librarian says:

    The Gop does this because they’re authoritarians, they’re totalitarians, they’re fascists clear and simple. They can’t tolerate local governments doing things they don’t like so they forbid them. Problem solved.

  41. 41
    Roger Moore says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    So you are saying there was a Milwaukee Brewers team before the Milwaukee Braves?

    Yes. For the 1901 season, the AL had a team called the Brewers in Milwaukee, who moved to St. Louis and became the Browns in 1902. The city kept the name for its minor league team until the Braves arrives from Boston, then used it again when they got the Pilots from Seattle.

  42. 42
    Wally Ballou says:

    @Roger Moore: The Whales finished in second place in 1914 and captured the Federal League championship in 1915. Then the Cubs moved in and, in their first season at Clark and Addison, finished 26½ games out of first. Naturally.

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