Stone Cold Truths

You know the worm has turned on the issue of gay marriage when Stone Cold Steve Austin is telling his followers in the heartland stuff like this:

I don’t give a shit if two guys, two gals, guy-gal, whatever it is, I believe that any human being in America, or any human being in the goddamn world, that wants to be married, and if it’s same-sex, more power to ’em. What also chaps my ass, some of these churches, have the high horse that they get on and say, ‘We as a church do not believe in that.’ Which one of these motherfuckers talked to God, and God said that same-sex marriage was a no-can-do? Okay, so two cats can’t get married if they want to get married, but then a guy can go murder 14 people, molest five kids, then go to fucking prison, and accept God and He’s going to let him into heaven? After the fact that he did all that shit? See that’s all horseshit to me, that don’t jive with me.

The judicious use of profanity is something I can appreciate.

Share On Facebook
Share On Twitter
Share On Google Plus
Share On Pinterest
Share On Reddit

51 replies
  1. 1
    kdaug says:

    I thought Steve Austin was barely alive. Did we rebuild him? (Stronger, faster, et.al.?)

  2. 2
    Violet says:

    What also chaps my ass, some of these churches, have the high horse that they get on and say

    He could put anything about controlling people’s behavior after the above statement. Gay marriage. Birth control. Pre-marital sex. Whatever. That’s what churches do.

  3. 3
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    but then a guy can go murder 14 people, molest five kids, then go to fucking prison, and accept God and He’s going to let him into heaven?

    Look, Steve, it’s not much of a leap to that than it is to living an entire life of bilking little old ladies out of their social security checks to finance a lifestyle that would make Croesus and Midas green with envy.

    Those guys are getting into Heaven. I mean, one of them actually told his flock, on television, that if they didn’t send him money, right this fucking second, God would “call him Home”.

    They sent him money.

    Which meant that he didn’t get “called Home” right away. For which our species is poorer overall.

  4. 4

    Would be a great way to transition into a heel storyline for a rasslin comeback.

  5. 5
    J.Ty says:

    Oh, that’s delightful. I always felt like Jesus would be a cusser.

  6. 6
    maya says:

    Steve Austin is the Messiah we were promised.

  7. 7
    Heliopause says:

    Which one of these motherfuckers talked to God, and God said that same-sex marriage was a no-can-do?

    Moses.

  8. 8
    Tommy says:

    @Violet: There are 12 churches in my town of 8,700 people. I am a hiker, walker, runner (not that often anymore I might add), and mountain biker. I am all around town. I think about half of them have had their sign out front saying “we welcome all” at a time or two in the last year or so. I don’t know, I am an atheist, but isn’t that “code” for gays or people that might be “different?” A few, when IL was voting on gay marriage more then a few voiced support for our “gay children, family members, and friends.”

    I know the church I attended as a child, Methodist, has just said “GLBT Individuals Welcome” on their sign. Came straight out and said it. Although this week the sign at the Methodist church just says “God Has Risen.” As John said I think the “worm has turned.”

  9. 9
    JPL says:

    Who’s Steve Austin?

  10. 10
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    Which one of these motherfuckers talked to God, and God said that same-sex marriage was a no-can-do?

    Well, they all claim to have talked to Him, but because He speaks proto-Aramaic, not one of them understood a single thing He said.

    So they just made it all up.

  11. 11
    Roger Moore says:

    The sad thing is that this probably has more impact coming from a normally non-political type like a professional wrestler than it would coming from somebody who had made it their life’s work.

  12. 12
    🌷 Martin says:

    Meh. He’s just looking out for his buddy John Cena now that he’s on Team Fruity.

  13. 13
    HR Progressive says:

    And that’s the bottom line, cause Stone Cold Said So!

    I was a huge fan of WWF (E) in the Attitude Era when Austin was at his prime.

    Whatever you think of “wrasslin”, there’s no denying Austin was a hell of a showman.

    Can we have more people talking it up the way he did? Cause, damn that was invigorating to read.

  14. 14
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @maya:

    Steve Austin is the Messiah we were promised.

    OK, I call shenanigans on this one. I didn’t see a single reference to pasta in that entire paragraph. He can’t be the Messiah.

  15. 15
    WaterGirl says:

    @JPL: I didn’t know either, so I checked with the google.

    Steve Austin, better known by his ring name “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, is an American actor, producer, and retired professional wrestler. Wikipedia
    Born: December 18, 1964 (age 49), San Antonio, TX
    Height: 6′ 2″ (1.88 m)
    Full name: Steven James Anderson
    Spouse: Kristin Austin (m. 2009), More
    Children: Cassidy Williams, Loren Williams, Jade Adams, Stephanie Williams

    Really loved what he had to say. And I agree with the commenter above, Jesus would be a swear-er.

  16. 16
    WaterGirl says:

    @HR Progressive: Watch the video at the link. I read it and liked it, but he said more than what was in the text of the article. And it gets better when you hear him actually say it.

  17. 17
    Tommy says:

    @Villago Delenda Est: I was at LSU in Baton Rouge when Jimmy Swaggart was at his pinnacle. A few friends of mine would just get high and drink early on a Sunday morning (with a huge breakfast) and watch his show and marvel at the fact people would send him money. Lots of money. Tons of money.

    We could drive by his estate or this “Bible college.” See he was fleecing them …. and just never understand …. it is many years later and I guess I get “how it works” but still stunned people give folks like him money. I mean I feel like I should start going out into the street handling snakes and see how much money people will give me.

  18. 18
    WaterGirl says:

    @Tommy: You might want to check out Justified from last season before you decide about the snake handling.

  19. 19
    WaterGirl says:

    By the way, big thanks to the person who linked to this really fun 8-second cat video this morning. I think I’ve watched it about 10 times.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DzlH5SDGoyA

    The fact that he turns to look at you as he goes by gets me every time.

  20. 20
    Amir Khalid says:

    @kdaug:
    When you think about what the Department of Defense’s development projects cost these days, six million dollars seems a quaintly piddling amount.

  21. 21
  22. 22
    dmsilev says:

    On the same subject, an award for Excellence In Poll Skewing to Gary Bauer and Tony Perkins for polling ‘Republican base voters’ on gay marriage to produce an utterly unsurprising “majority opposed” result, and then to Rep Tim Huelskamp for interpreting said poll as “Contrary to the Left, poll shows Americans support traditional marriage. Cue liberal outrage.”

  23. 23
    jibeaux says:

    @Tommy: one thing that I do know about the Methodists is that some of their churches do appear to be in some sort of alliance or list of particularly gay-friendly ones. I remember years ago at my son’s Methodist preschool program (it was a great bargain), they told me they were the only one in town with this designation, I don’t remember the exact name, but something formalized.

  24. 24
    Tommy says:

    @HR Progressive: I like the WWE and I like to think I am a smart, highbrow person (not all the time I guess). I’ve always said the WWE is like soaps for men. A guilty pleasure. Hard to admit. You watch it now, and I do, they don’t even fake wrestle anymore. Mostly it is building story lines. This person against this person. This group against that group.

    Right now, and again a soap, you have Daniel Bryan’s House of Yes (you should read that link/story from Rolling Stone)!

    Think of it as an Occupy of the WWE. IMHO maybe more going on here then you think. The movements of society, moved to this venue as a story line. “The House of Yes” did occupy arenas.

  25. 25
    J.Ty says:

    @WaterGirl: That looks suspiciously like an apartment in San Francisco.

  26. 26
    Tommy says:

    @WaterGirl: I just wouldn’t piss off Boyd Crowder. Not a good idea.

  27. 27
    Jennifer says:

    @WaterGirl: Hah! That was me. I’m glad someone got to enjoy it. It’s the head turn thing that gets me, too.

  28. 28
    gbear says:

    Austin has been standing up for gay marriage for a while now. Here’s another profanity laced interview from August of last year.

  29. 29
    PurpleGirl says:

    @ranchandsyrup: That’s true. It’s been a long time since I watched and followed (entertainment) wrestling, but that would make a good background story for a heel.

  30. 30
    Culture of Truth says:

    It’s just a fuckin coincidence that all of God’s orders are exactly like beliefs and prejudices, motherfucker!!

  31. 31
    The Other Bob says:

    At the risk of going close to Godwin, I always wonder why the Almighty One ™ would burn Sodom to the ground because some dudes shared some man-on-man love, while Berlin was left standing for years while millions of Jews were killed.

  32. 32
    Violet says:

    @Tommy: Churches welcome all but as a general rule gay people are expected not to act on their “sinful impulses”. It’s okay to be gay so long as you’re celibate. Here’s how it works: sex outside of marriage is against God’s will. Gay marriage is against the law therefore all gay sex is against God’s will. See how easy that is?

  33. 33
    gbear says:

    @J.Ty: Dad-dammit!

    Edit: Just listened to the clip and wasn’t all that thrilled about hearing gay marriage compared to dog ownership. Bad analogy…

  34. 34
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @WaterGirl:

    Thanks for responding to JPL so I didn’t have to post the identical comment. I never heard of him either and had to Google him.

  35. 35
    Penus says:

    AUSTIN 3:16

  36. 36
    JustRuss says:

    @Tommy: I grew up Methodist too, and recently returned to the church for…parental reasons. There’s quite a battle going on in the church re gay marriage, officially the church is against it but a lot of congregations and pastors are pushing them to lighten up. Last year the pastor gave a sermon about our nation’s gun problem, I’m sure my slightly wingnutty friends were biting their tongues. I confess that made me enjoy that sermon a little more than I should have.

  37. 37
    WaterGirl says:

    @Violet: While that is certainly true of some churches, it’s certainly not true of any of the liberal “LGBT welcome” churches I have ever been to. Of course, they don’t preach about unmarried people remaining celibate, either.

  38. 38
    kindness says:

    And a Republican would say ‘Depends. Who did the guy murder?’

  39. 39
    Tommy says:

    @JustRuss: Interesting. I don’t know there was a battle, cause I no longer attend. I recall in 1984 when I went to that church the first African American couple came in and they got a standing ovation. We wanted diversity. We were so happy. I don’t think it was fake.

    This is the church I run/walk/ride by each day and their signs all seem to be “code” for “others.”

  40. 40
    Roger Moore says:

    @WaterGirl:

    You might want to check out Justified from last season before you decide about the snake handling.

    Just use king snakes and pretend they’re coral snakes. How many of the rubes are going to remember “red next to yellow can kill a fellow, red next to black venom lack”?

  41. 41
    Emma says:

    @The Other Bob: actually, God was pissed at Sodom and its sister city because they were falling down on their duty: Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy.

    Nothing to do with homosexuality.

  42. 42
    WaterGirl says:

    @Roger Moore: Never heard that before, but I might just remember it.

  43. 43
    Tommy says:

    @WaterGirl: There are 2-3 churches in my town that might be MORE liberal then myself. I can’t recall their names, but liberal. Against eating meat ….

    I joke that after 9/11 we had a Mosque built outside my town and nobody yelled about it. Nobody protested it. We were happy, some say the best daycare offered in the area. I like to think “to each their own.”

    I can’t recall the name of a few of the churches I mentioned, but kind of “fringe.” Nobody cares. One in the heart of the town and another right outside. Funny all these churches seem to work if not with each other, not against each other.

  44. 44
    Iowa Old Lady says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: Thank god (so to speak). I thought it was just me.

  45. 45
    Morbo says:

    Austin certainly had/has the redneck persona down pat, but if you listen to any of his podcasts (which are pretty entertaining) he comes off politically as… not necessarily a Democrat, but at least the sort of moderate Republican that’s been all but extinct in this century.

  46. 46
    Jebediah, RBG says:

    @maya:

    Steve Austin is the Messiah we were promised.

    Is he the Messiah we deserve?

  47. 47
    Jack the Second says:

    @Amir Khalid:

    When you think about what the Department of Defense’s development projects cost these days, six million dollars seems a quaintly piddling amount.

    Do you really think the DoD is going to spend even a piddling $6 million on a disabled veteran?

  48. 48
    Paul in KY says:

    @Tommy: I think the ‘all’ (in this context) means ‘people from other denominations who would like to give us donations’.

  49. 49
    Paul in KY says:

    @Roger Moore: Real coral snakes are quite laid back. You practically have to beat its head against a wall to get one to bite you.

  50. 50

    Now THAT’S one hell of a Stone Cold Stunner.

    He nailed it. More power to you, Stone Cold.

  51. 51
    wuzzat says:

    @Emma:

    If I remember my bible stories, the tipping point that ended Lot’s “spare the city” ploy was when a bunch of horny townsfolk showed up to rape Lot’s houseguests, who were secret agent angels of the Lord. When you’re a wingnut, the takeaway lesson is “don’t be gay.” When you’re a decent human being, the takeaway lesson is “don’t rape people.” (If you’re a biblical literalist, the takeaway lesson is “don’t rape important people.” Lot was willing to throw his wife and daughters to the wolves to spare the honor of his houseguests.)

Comments are closed.