Motherfucker this ain’ t back in the day

Teh crazy surrounding Obama is just as crazy as teh crazy surrounding Clinton was. But BirthCertificateGate and BenghaziGate and BoGate aren’t legitimate problems for Obama the way the various ClintonGates were. And I don’t just mean the ones involving extramarital affairs. The Clinton memo on the ol’ freakshow conveyor belt:

The communication stream worked as follows, according to the memo:

First, a well-funded right-wing think tank would underwrite conservative newsletters and newspapers such as The American Spectator or the Western Journalism Center. Next, the stories would be “reprinted on the internet” where they “bounced all over the world.” The stories would then reach the right-of-center mainstream media, including The New York Post, The Wall Street Journal and The Washington Times, through one of two ways: either directly from the internet or via a “blow-back strategy” through the British tabloids, which would publish the story and thus give American right-of-center media reason to publish as well.

Finally, Congress would pick up the story line and say it should be investigated, which would give the story the legitimacy it needed to be covered by the remainder of the American mainstream press.

This is funny now:

But back in the day, William Safire might have had several columns on the topic.

Now, with this kind of crazy, I wish a motherfucker would.

83 replies
  1. 1
    Baud says:

    Anticipatory outrage. I like it.

  2. 2

    Cloning. That’s what it’s all about.

  3. 3
    srv says:

    Bigger story if it’s Bill’s baby.

  4. 4
    Baud says:

    Mobile site is borked for this post. No comments visible.

  5. 5
    MikeJ says:

    @Baud: All the sidebars are gone on the desktop. Wonder if they’re upgrading to 3.9?

  6. 6
    MikeJ says:

    @MikeJ: Ahh, bad twitter widget pacement. We even missed DougJ’s final line:
    But back in the day, William Safire might have had several columns on the topic.
    Now, with this kind of crazy, I wish a motherfucker would.

  7. 7
    GregB says:

    Big outrage because Hillary is now a grizzly grammy just like Auntie Sarah, except Hillary’s kid waited until she was married and working and making a mint before she got pregnant.

    Proof that Democrats have no morals.

  8. 8
    Mike in NC says:

    I well remember the mid-90s when The American Spectator Sphincter was chasing numerous “scandals” designed to take down Bill Clinton. They’ll be back in 2016.

  9. 9
    Anne Laurie says:

    Yeah, all of us liebrals are too chickenshite to go with the real Drudge meme: Obviously Chelsea is incubating the hellspawn of That Black Man in the White House, the baby whose election coronation in 2052 will break the Seventh Seal and begin the Rapture!

  10. 10
    beltane says:

    @GregB: Waiting until marriage to have a baby is very elitist and decadent. Why can’t Chelsea Clinton do the Christian thing and appear on DWTS?

  11. 11
    Hill Dweller says:

    While its harder to push these stupid rumors, Republicans have gotten away with an unprecedented level of procedural extremism in Congress. They’ve basically shut Congress down, but the Village blames Obama for not taking them out for milkshakes.

  12. 12
    Anoniminous says:

    Same thing happened to Kerry aka “Swift Boating.”

    I don’t see it being very productive for taking down Hillary Clinton. She’s been in the Public Space too long, she already has a well established Public Image.

  13. 13
    beltane says:

    Are we sure that Bill Ayers isn’t the real father of Chelsea’s baby? What about Fat Al Gore, huh, how do we know that this baby (which might be his) isn’t going to be the next Hitler of the global-warming-is-a-hoax New World Order?

  14. 14
    Schlemizel says:

    Remember the shit HRC took for pointing out that there was a vast rightwing cabal of nut jobs shoveling this BS? Yeah, seems once again we were right,t hey were wrong and the media backed them against reality

  15. 15
    Alex S. says:

    Well, of course, it’s Bill’s baby. It’s not incest because Chelsea’s father is actually Vince Foster.

  16. 16
    beltane says:

    @Schlemizel: Being that the media is an essential component of this cabal, it is hardly surprising that they did not incriminate themselves. I still have not recovered from those awful few moments back in 1998 when the pearl clutching granny known as Wolf Blitzer told his millions of viewers that since adultery was a felony in the state of Maryland, it was quite likely that Bill Clinton would have to go to jail for his transgressions. The stupid did not merely burn. In that case it pushed me into an existential crisis.

  17. 17
    srv says:

    @Alex S.: Oh, man, I had completely forgotten that one!

  18. 18
    karen says:

    I worked for AEI in the mid to late 90s and saw what was really going on. There was and still is a right wing conspiracy. The Scaife Foundation was bankrolling it. How did I know this? I handled the thank you letters to the donors. I’m not sure if think tanks like the American Enterprise Institute still functions this way but when I was working there, the think tank would have “scholars” who were basically people who would write articles and books about specific topics like the Middle East or Russia or taxes or politics or anything else they’re considered to be expert in. These books would go to the media pundits and to politicians that were of like minds and friendly to the topic. That way the think tank could operate as a non-profit yet be influential.

  19. 19
    Schlemizel says:

    @beltane:
    Just thinking of Wolfie makes my skin burn.

    Bartcop used to have a gif of Tim Russel saying “Clinton’s cock” over and over. It captured the essence of the moment better than anything written about the time so far.

  20. 20
    JPL says:

    Remember when Fox news quoted Murdoch papers in England to justify the war in Iraq. That led to death of hundreds of thousands. May Rupert die a bloody death.
    also, too, I meant metaphorically

  21. 21
    John O says:

    Dr. Black has a terrific way of cutting to the chase.

  22. 22
    BGinCHI says:

    If Chelsea has a boy and names it Barack that would be sweet.

  23. 23
    JustRuss says:

    The Clinton memo can’t be true, as it doesn’t point how Both Sides did it. /msm

  24. 24
    Tommy says:

    Those of us old enough to recall Clinton know this stuff with Obama is nothing new. As many have reported it is an entire industry. As I say over an over it is such an industry and there is so much money to be made I am not even sure if most on the far, far right believe half of what they say.

    I don’t often head to those sites but they sell everything. Shirts. Coffee mugs. Bumper stickers. Doormats. Subscription newsletters. Streams of videos. Book tours. Speaking engagements.

    And IMHO the more crazy the better to move product.

    I honestly believe I could find a few smart liberals here. Set-up a site. Publish stories on the most freaking bizarre Obama rants possible and start to make a lot of money. Cause the more crazy the better. It is like a drug for them and the next story has to be more crazy than the last to keep them fired up.

  25. 25
    JPL says:

    @BGinCHI: If it’s a girl maybe Michelle.

  26. 26
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @beltane: One of numerous reasons why Leslie should be boiled in oil, preferably high-cholesterol with lots of transfats.

  27. 27
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Alex S.: Who of course, as we all know, was Hillary Clinton’s lesbian lover.

  28. 28
    JPL says:

    @Tommy:

    Those of us old enough to recall Clinton know this stuff with Obama is nothing new.

    It’s different.

  29. 29
    Tommy says:

    @JPL: Well the Internet is different. Social media. Easier to spread. Also the race factor, but IMHO pretty much the same formula.

  30. 30
    BGinCHI says:

    @JPL: No, if it’s a girl, also Barack.

  31. 31
    Higgs Boson's Mate says:

    As I’ve mentioned before, I get nutmail from an old Navy buddy turned wingnut. I lost count of the times that something began in the nutmail, went ’round and ’round and round until one media outlet or the other picked up on it and it suddenly, no matter how far-fetched it was, became what passes for an issue these days.

    It works quite well because it’s reliant on the wingnuts themselves for origination. Who better to create an item that will gain traction with wingnuts other than wingnuts? Once the item is picked up by some compliant media outlet the reaction is “See? Told ya’.”

    Works ‘most every time.

  32. 32
    Tommy says:

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate: That is very true but I think something else is at work. I’ll see something bouncing around. Then it hits WND. Then Rush or Hannity on radio. Then on Fox Noise. Next you know it is on Meet The Press cause it is news, well because other stations are covering it.

    There is a lot I don’t like about our media. Next to we have to present both sides, even if one side is not telling the truth this is at the top of the list. That a lot of far right people/media outlets are talking about something, therefore it is news.

    I am a branding/messaging/ad agency guy. I am stunned how terrible our side is at messaging (although Obama showed it can be done correctly). With that said say what you will about the Republicans, they know this is how our media works and they use it every second of every day. I feel in strategy meetings top officials at the GOP must laugh at us for letting them get away with it.

  33. 33
    Tommy says:

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate: Oh one other thing, Steven Johnson write about learning, the mind, how we connect separate concepts. Before he started to sell a ton of books, like 12+ years ago he used to write a lot more on his blog. He talked a lot about an app he used (don’t recall the name) that allowed him to enter data and then see the data in a visual format. Not as much as something like SPSS, less data required to get the visual results. Easy to move around.

    I said in my last comment:

    I’ll see something bouncing around. Then it hits WND. Then Rush or Hannity on radio. Then on Fox Noise. Next you know it is on Meet The Press cause it is news, well because other stations are covering it.

    You could add Drudge and a few more sites, but I bet if somebody had the time to track how a far right email meme ends up on Meet the Press or in the Washington Post, the process is pretty set in stone. Heck I bet somebody has already done it. It would just be interesting, from a messaging POV, to know how it works so we can be ready with a rapid response to it.

    Just thinking out loud in a comment …..

  34. 34
    Poopyman says:

    You guys are missing the obvious boy’s name.

    Ben Ghazi.

  35. 35
  36. 36
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    BirthCertificateGate and BenghaziGate and BoGate

    I get the first two, but whatinthehell is BoGate supposed to be? Something sketchy about the First Dog?

  37. 37
    muddy says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: I vaguely remember them being scolded for getting a breed that doesn’t cause allergies, and not a shelter dog like Good Americans. I’m not aware that any other presidents had mutts?

  38. 38
    Tommy says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: Yes, yes it is. I don’t recall all the details but it was in fact a “thing.” It might have been more then one or two things actually.

  39. 39
    raven says:

    This blog sucks.

  40. 40
    Baud says:

    @raven:

    Except for all the others.

  41. 41
    Tommy says:

    @muddy: I recall all of what you listed as well. I also think they had a problem, cause the dog was “black.” Well it had black fur, not really sure a dog can be “black” (whatever that would mean). Something like the Obama got a black dog just to throw race into the face of those that don’t agree with them.

  42. 42
    🌷 Martin says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: Bo-gate.

    Apparently the American media couldn’t care less, however, that President Obama chose to fly his Portuguese Water Dog, Bo, to Martha’s Vineyard on a MV-22 Osprey. The helicopter/airplane hybrid costs a cool $11,000/hour to operate. It should be noted this is the first time a MV-22 Osprey has been used for a presidential vacation.

    About as accurate as the 2 trillion dollars Obama spent for a trip to India.

    Edit: I am aware of all wingnut traditions.

  43. 43
    Tommy says:

    @🌷 Martin:

    I am aware of all wingnut traditions.

    Sorry to hear that :). I used to get a lot of the emails from my family, but that ended years ago when my cousin sent out a terrible email with some clearly racist photos of Obama and his family. She’d sent me tons of stuff before, but never that bad and many other family members on the email list.

    I responded back in an epic angry rant (or I like to think so).

    I replied to all, and funny thing it was her work email (she is a elementary school teacher) with many of her fellow staff included.

    She, our family members, and her friends were NOT happy with me. How dare I do that, it was her work email. I was like then don’t send out racist emails from your work email. Problem solved. They didn’t seem to get my point and we’ve not talked since then.

  44. 44
    Higgs Boson's Mate says:

    @🌷 Martin:

    Actually, they were close. The initial cost to operate an Osprey was $12,000/hr. That dropped to only $8300 an hour in early 2012.

    As an aviation buff, I can state that the Osprey is a terrible and tremendously maintenance-intensive aircraft. It lacks the virtues of either a light transport or a helicopter while being orders of magnitude more complicated than the two combined. The high cost per flight hour reflects this.

  45. 45
    Higgs Boson's Mate says:

    Addendum: the Osprey was added to Marine One, the presidential air transport squadron, in 2013 in response to the urgent need for CH-53 helicopters in Afghanistan. Obama had no idea that such an expensive to operate aircraft would be used to transport his dog.

  46. 46
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @muddy:
    @Tommy:
    @🌷 Martin:

    JesusInACave, that stuff makes me crazy. They got criticized because their dog is black? Because they took the family pet on vacation? Because it doesn’t cause allergies even though one of the daughters, IIRC, has allergies to pet fur/dander?

    These people are … I dunno, I don’t even, anymore.

  47. 47
    Tommy says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: And if my memory is correct Joe Biden gave it to the Obama family as a gift when they first moved into the White House. My brother’s wife and my niece both have allergies. They have a similar dog and it is a god sent for them. Cost them an arm and a leg, but with the lab they had before Sarah (my niece was not born yet) took allergy meds just to be able to have her wonderful dog around (who is no longer with us).

  48. 48
    dmsilev says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: Some of the stupider corners of wingnuttia went ballistic when dog the second was acquired. See, the fact that Obama and his family had chosen *two* black dogs in a row was proof positive that he was RACIST!

    I continue to be disappointed that Barack and Michelle have yet to make a ‘don’t drink bleach and lick power sockets’ public-service announcement. Would solve a lot of problems.

  49. 49
    Tommy says:

    @efgoldman: Whoops my bad. Thanks for correcting the record/me. I knew it was a gift but to lazy to Google it :).

  50. 50
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Tommy: I thought it was Ted Kennedy, not Joe Biden, but yes, I do remember some conversation about allergies at the time. Had no idea it was still a “thing,” however.

    ETA: what EFG said.

  51. 51
    Higgs Boson's Mate says:

    We’ve come a long way from Nixon’s Checkers speech.

  52. 52
    Abo gato says:

    @dmsilev: no, no, no! Those dogs are not just black dogs….they are black and WHITE!!!! Take that!

  53. 53
    Belafon says:

    @BGinCHI:

    Sherlock to Holmes: There is something I have always wanted to tell you…Sherlock is also a girl’s name.

    Sherlock Series 3

  54. 54
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @dmsilev:

    Well, the second dog (Sunny) is black AND white. Just like Obama!!

    ETA: Sigh, always a bit too late. What Abo gato said.

  55. 55
    ulee says:

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate: Imagine Romney’s Seamus speech. Not as effective.

  56. 56
    ulee says:

    Or imagine Cole’s Shawn speech. “And we’re gonna keep him.”

  57. 57
    Tommy says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: My brother has a Labradoodle. I am sure some people get them just cause they are super cute, but they looked long and hard for the breeder, and allergies are clearly a major reason people buy them. It was one of the first things the person mentioned when they called to schedule an appointment. As somebody that doesn’t have any allergies it is hard for me to understand what it is like. But you have then and want a dog, these kinds of dogs must be about the best things since sliced bread.

  58. 58
    BillinGlendaleCA says:

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    JesusInACave, that stuff makes me crazy.

    Being it’s Easter weekend, I believe Jesus was in a Cave.

  59. 59
    Anoniminous says:

    @BillinGlendaleCA:

    Mithras’ principle festival was on, what we now call, Easter. And he was supposedly born on December 25th. And he was the Savior of the World. And he had 12 disciples. And he died and rose again on the third day. And worshipers had a sacred meal of bread and wine. And the wine had super-duper powers. And they practiced baptism.

    Got a good case of violation of Intellectual Property, if you ask me.

  60. 60
    raven says:

    @BillinGlendaleCA: Leon Russell Roll Away The Stone

    Roll away the stone
    Don’t leave me here alone
    Resurrect me and protect me
    Don’t leave me laying here
    What will they do in two thousand years

  61. 61
    muddy says:

    All this stuff they cry about starting with B makes me think of this kid.

    He uses up his few words, and resorts to just using “butt” plus something, apparently getting inspiration from looking at the guy. “Butt teeth” is my new favorite insult.

  62. 62
    MomSense says:

    @Tommy:

    I started a rumor that the ObamaCare enrollment process required microchipping and damned if that rumor didn’t come back around to me. The crazier the better.

  63. 63
  64. 64
    🌷 Martin says:

    @raven: That’s unreal. The irony is that if he had gotten full contact on it, the added air resistance would have denied him a home run. Hitting the cover off the ball appears to only useful when hitting to 3rd with no forced out there.

  65. 65
    Higgs Boson's Mate says:

    Lawrence Ferlinghetti, “[Sometime During Eternity]” (1958)
    Sometime during eternity
    some guy shows up
    and one of them
    who shows up real late
    is a kind of carpenter
    from some square-type place
    like Galilee

    and he starts wailing
    and claiming he is hip
    to who made heaven
    and earth
    and that the cat
    who really laid it on us
    is his Dad

    And moreover
    he adds
    It’s all write down
    on some scroll-type parchments
    which some henchmen
    leave lying around the Dead Sea somewheres
    a long time ago
    and which you won’t even find
    for a coupla thousand years or so
    or at least for
    nineteen hundred and fortyseven
    of them
    to be exact
    and even then
    nobody really believes them
    or me
    for that matter

    You’re hot
    they tell him

    And they cool him

    They stretch him on the Tree to cool

    And everybody after that
    is always making models
    of this Tree
    with Him hung up
    and always crooning His name
    and calling Him to come down
    and sit in
    on their combo
    as if he is the king cat
    who’s got to blow
    or they can’t quite make it

    Only he don’t come down
    from His Tree

    Him just hang there
    on His Tree
    looking real Petered out
    and real cool
    and also
    according to a roundup
    of late world news
    fro the usual unrealiable sources
    real dead

  66. 66
    pseudonymous in nc says:

    Laundering wingnut stories through the British press — and not just the tabloids, but the “serious” conservative papers like Murdoch’s Times or the Telegraph — is still going on today, because if the holy sainted TimesOfLondon prints it, then the WaPo is going to cover it too.

  67. 67
    🌷 Martin says:

    @MomSense: I still want to start a rumor that Putin will run as a GOP candidate in 2016. But he’s not a US citizen you say? That’s where you’re wrong. He was born in Alaska but abducted by KGB agents when he was 3 and given a fake USSR birth certificate. He’s really a US citizen by birth.

  68. 68
    scav says:

    @🌷 Martin: Explains what Sarah could see about “Russia” from her front porch. She’s clearly involved in some fashion (choose your shudder: there are many). Similarly, could explain what GW could see when gazing deeply into PuPutin’s eyes and soul. (GWB was outfitted with a DNA scanner in his left retina, little known perk of the office — he was jealous of the sighting scope installed in Cheney’s.)

  69. 69
    ulee says:

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate: I like that. I know Ferlenghetti as owner of City Lights and buglight. I guess I knew he was a poet, but that’s pretty good.

  70. 70
    Lurking Canadian says:

    @Anoniminous: sure would, if there were any contemporary evidence of any of that.

  71. 71
    mclaren says:

    Teh crazy surrounding Obama is just as crazy as teh crazy surrounding Clinton was.

    Permit me to demur, Doug.

    “White House Denies CIA Teleported Obama to Mars,” 3 January 2012.

    There’s nuts, and then there’s craaaaaaaaaaaaazy. The Republicans have run straight off the edge of nuts, like Wile E. Coyote running off the edge of the cliff, and now they’re paddling their feet in the middle of batshit insane.

    The crazy is much crazier during the Obama years than it was in the Clinton years. That’s why the Republicans are no longer so much dangerous as annoying. All they can do is stall and delay and try to block things. Republicans are no longer controlling the agenda, because their agenda involves wack-wacka bullshit like Barry Obama getting teleported to Mars by the CIA in 1987, and chemtrails, and global warming denial and evolution denial.

    The American people may not be sharpest knives in the drawer, but that kind of nuttiness is too much even for them.

    [Also all the major Republican spokesmen have been outed as drug addicts or crystal meth freaks who hired gay hookers, or gay child molesters, or loons who hallucinate about “moon oil” like Newt Gingrich. That might have something to do with Republicans’ relative decline in influence too…]

  72. 72
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate: The Osprey does have the virtue of financing several score hookers and lots of blow for Boeing execs, though, so it’s not to be sniffed at.

  73. 73
    mclaren says:

    Tragically gone now, but the classic website supervillainornewt.com asked users to play a game..

    Welcome to the Supervillain or Newt Game, where you have to decide whether an idea comes from an indestructible megalomaniac hell-bent on ruling the world, or from a fictional supervillain.

    Pure win.

    Play the game here, courtesy of the internet wayback machine!

    Proof positive that teh crazy is much crazier now than during the Clinton years.

  74. 74
    giantslor says:

    @Anne Laurie: I’d vote for that baby.

  75. 75
    BC says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: Bogate = they got an elitist dog (never mind that it was gift from Senator Ted Kennedy) that was blackety-blackety-black, so you know they know nothing about white people – because no white person would ever have an all-black dog, you know. In truth, that was the criticism – Ted Kennedy and all-black (altho Bo does have white marking).

  76. 76
    Suffern ACE says:

    @BC: I thought Bogate stemmed from one of the official White House Christmas cards where Bo was featured under at Christmas tree without the first family, in an affront to sensative Christians everywhere, tired of that war on Christmas.

  77. 77
    Patricia Kayden says:

    @Mike in NC: And Secretary Hilary Clinton will be the President. We collectively yawn at the “scandals”. They’re boring now.

  78. 78
    Another Holocene Human says:

    @beltane:

    I still have not recovered from those awful few moments back in 1998 when the pearl clutching granny known as Wolf Blitzer told his millions of viewers that since adultery was a felony in the state of Maryland, it was quite likely that Bill Clinton would have to go to jail for his transgressions. The stupid did not merely burn. In that case it pushed me into an existential crisis.

    Jesus fuck!!

    The RWNJ Christianist hosebags want so badly to go back to those days. They talk about gays, gays, gays, but in reality they want to police everybody’s sex life and back before Lawrence v. Texas and a general social moving on about such matters they were out on the front lines denying accommodation to unmarried heterosexual couples or firing unmarried heterosexuals for “living in sin”. Remember “cohabitation” and “unrelated adults”?

    Remember that case where that poor woman was kidnapped and raped in Florida but the rapist was charged not with rape but “oral sodomy” as if it would be a crime if consensual–? Oh no, it’s nothing to kidnap, threaten, and violently sexual assault a human being, but let a wiggly bit touch either end of the alimentary canal and we got problems.

    Wolf Blitzer is so fucking stupid it defies description and with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Hell, I got confused for a few months during Bush II term I mixing him up with evil scum Paul Wolfowitz. They both love war rah rah so same diff.

  79. 79
    Another Holocene Human says:

    @karen: If you’ve ever heard of “The Heartland Institute” it makes the kind of influence peddling Heritage and AEI used to engage in seem like kittens and puppies.

  80. 80
    Another Holocene Human says:

    @BC: it was a perfect storm of Kennedys, elitism, and blackity black black

    so much angst over man’s best friend

    also, the sweetness of that moment when Obama announced that his children would get their promised puppy just fed the ravening vile rage they have towards Barack Obama, and that hate needed a target

  81. 81
    Another Holocene Human says:

    @BGinCHI: Barucha.

  82. 82
    karen says:

    @Another Holocene Human:

    I never heard of them. Are they also in DC?

  83. 83
    bughunter says:

    @Patricia Kayden:

    We collectively yawn at the “scandals”. They’re boring now.

    Then I suggest we start sockpuppeting these rightwing mailing lists (or whatever the 4chan-like origin communities are) with progressively more insane memes so that when they begin to appear in the MSM we can have a real good laugh… and when one becomes a scandal of Congressional Subcommitte Hearing calibre, we can break out the server logs and prove the BS genesis of this crap. (Not that the believers would be convinced, of course, but that’s not the point.)

    But damn, it’s hard to beat Obama teleporting to Mars.

    Something like Chelsea’s baby is the product of in vitro fertilization of Hillary’s eggs and Barack’s sperm would hit quite a few buttons.

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