Here’s a cheery thought: Our bodies are machines that were forged by the most ruthless, unsentimental technician imaginable: Nature. If we’re lucky, once the machine that contains our essence as human beings fulfills Nature’s purpose, it starts breaking down, and everything we ever were, are or will be starts slowly falling away.
If we’re unlucky, something goes awry before the expected useful life of the machine is expended. We are all consigned to the void eventually, either piece by piece or all at once. The only question is the timing, and that is largely, but not entirely, a matter of luck.
When we were children, my sister and I divided the world between us in the way that people who seem destined to be each other’s counterparts do. I was the introverted, bookish sister, and she was the social, athletic striver.
We discussed this division once as naïve young women, in the sarcastic, mocking way that is our custom. I told her I thought I had the better part of the bargain because knowledge gained from study stays with you and solitary pursuits are always at hand, whereas physical strength diminishes over time and people come and go.
But even the most self-contained, independent mind is dependent on the body that carries it around — is in fact an inseparable part of that body. So I best get off my ass and go get some exercise, is all I’m saying.
c u n d gulag
And I’ve got to figure out how to lose weight without exercise, since I’m pretty handicapped.
It’s either I lose weight, or I need longer arms to reach my fat ass.
I’ll probably go back on a modified South Beach Diet.
Biscuits
I just got up, read this, and am going back to bed. ;)
OzarkHillbilly
Well, that explains a lot. ;-)
In all seriousness, at this point in my life I have seen enough death that I find peace in it’s inevitability. What leads up to it tho, now that is another story.
Poopyman
That “useful life” in Nature’s terms is over by about 30-35, when the children you bore in your teens can strike out on their own. After that, Nature doesn’t give a shit about you.
(“You” in this instance certainly includes “me”.)
EvonWatcher
@c u n d gulag: FWIW, my wife and I both found that refraining from eating much at all within about 5 hours of bedtime really seemed to help us peel off pounds (along with eating more carefully and exercising).
Cermet
Getting older there are only two divisions in life style that really define things: pre-organ failure/post organ failure. Strength, maximum brain power, and overall general body function pale in comparison to this divide. Those in the former, never consider anything but what are minor issues. Those in the later group know exactly what does matter!
aimai
I love you Betty. Wish you lived up here instead of down there. We could go for a walk together.
A Humble Lurker
You say this now, but give it a bit and we’ll be able to customize, replace and improve every inch of ourselves to the point where what nature regards as useful becomes obsolete.
Botsplainer
I’ve been spending some of the morning stomping on the anti-Harry Reid propaganda inflicting my facebook feed. Apparently, the Koch propaganda mills are working serious OT in trying to stir the shit in linking the Laughlin solar project with the Bundy freeloading 150 miles away.
Somebody needs to cause them physical worry – like having to inspect their cars for bombs in the mornings.
Poopyman
@A Humble Lurker: Exhibit A being the cyborg Darth Cheney. I’ll bet he’s got the scientists at Haliburton working ’round the clock creating replacement parts.
Felonius Monk
@Biscuits:
I agree. A very wise man once said, “Every time I feel the need to exercise, I lie down in a dark room until that feeling goes away.”
Poopyman
@Botsplainer: My guess is they’ve already got full security complements. Hell, it’d be spending less than pocket money to them with a pretty good ROI.
Ben Cisco (onboard the Defiant)
Getting older may suck,but it beats the hell out of the alternative.
Think I’ll go for a walk.
Poopyman
I’ve noticed my view of the world has gotten a lot darker the past 14 years. Anyone else have that feeling?
WereBear
And then we sneakily invented “civilization” where the stored knowledge of oldsters turned out to mean a lot to a group’s survival.
And then we invented “writing” and the pendulum started swinging the other way…
Fuzzy
My pieces parts seem to be falling into this “void” at pretty rapid rate, some are just gone and others replaced or reinforced. If nature had been allowed to prevail I suppose I would be long gone. Time for some fun with the pooch.
gene108
Yes. Time for exercise. I wish there was a magical way to lose weight instantly. The whole life style change thing to really lose weight is daunting.
cane giallo
Nature (or natural selection) is not “the most ruthless, unsentimental technician imaginable”. It is a quality control analyst who looks at the resulting body and says “Meh, it’s good enough for now.”
Betty Cracker
I’m not even particularly fat; I’m just so damn lazy it’s a wonder I don’t give the sofa bedsores!
@aimai: Me too! My dogs are always willing to walk with me, but their conversation leaves much to be desired. ;-)
ruemara
I’m better now, physically, than I was at 25. Mentally, after 15 years lost in the weeds of this culture, I do not know. If you get off your butt, workout regularly & eat right, you can fend off the void, decrepitude & feel as good as possible during this death march. Enjoy, Betty.
NotMax
As it is the date of Tommy J’s birthday, the list of 2014 Muzzle winners.
Amir Khalid
I am a happy sports fan tonight. For Liverpool’s 3-2 home win over Manchester City marks the 25th anniversary weekend of the Hillsborough disaster with a victory, brings them three points closer to the Premier League title they have yet to win, and leaves title rivals Manchester City seven points behind with two matches (i.e. six potential points) in hand.
Cassidy
Just got done working out. Nature gave me a machine that lifts heavy shit. Don’t want to disappoint. It sure as shit didn’t give me model good looks.
bemused
I just turned on Melissa Harris Perry and Jonathan Chait is a guest.
schrodinger's cat
I am trying to get back to my goal weight. Adding weight training along with eating healthy is a good idea. Bonus: Clothes just fit better when you are toned.
tybee
i’ve noticed that amongst my older friends, the ones who push their physical limits seem to be doing the best.
one of them, turns 70 in july, just finished the everglades challenge – paddled 300 miles in 6 days – from tampa to key largo.
his example gives me hope for my future….
Origuy
I strained a muscle in my knee right after New Year’s while doing Scottish Dancing. I managed not to gain any weight but it limited my activities. A few weeks of physical therapy and I’m finally back to dance class. I’ve been doing some orienteering but mostly walking on the flats, not much hill work yet. Today my club is putting on a meet at the UC Berkeley campus, so that will be about 90 minutes of walking and jogging. I did a course on the Peninsula yesterday, 75 minutes on a hilly 5k course. The knee feels ok today, so now I have to get serious about working out.
pluege
OTOH, if all of life is an organism, and since matter is neither created nor destroyed (it just changes shape/organization), each individual is just part of the whole (like each cell in the body), fulfilling its function in each shape it takes on, and the apparent birth/death cycle is just (a necessary) part of the process.
J.Ty
Yes! It’s a beautiful spring day, let’s go to the par–
*looks outside* *cries* f-cking San Francisco
Origuy
Today’s stupid wingnut comment is brought to you by Mike Huckabee, once and future presidential candidate:
Mike in NC
@Origuy: Huckabuck isn’t going to run for anything. Too much effort compared to collecting that sweet wingnut welfare at FOX.
MomSense
@aimai: @Betty Cracker:
I’ve got just the loop — 4 miles that goes past farms, over hills, through woods, and next to the ocean!
I used to go with my pup but he is retired now.
Kristine
Just got back from a 2.5 mile walk with the Gabster. Granted, there was a lot of stop/start because she had to leave messages for all the other dogs, but I still got in some decent work.
I may have to try swimming because my knees keep telling me that running is not my superpower.
Mnemosyne
@c u n d gulag:
You should check your local library and see if they have any of the Chair Dancing series of DVDs. Even a little bit can help, and the instructors give pretty clear examples of how to adapt the moves to your level.
Also, too, weight lifting. As you get older, you lose muscle mass, which lowers your metabolism, so even a few bicep curls can help slow down that process.
Mnemosyne
I’m sure the dogs would enjoy getting to walk around the block a few times rather than hanging out in the backyard.
Also, if you like gadgets and toys, I really love my FitBit. (I have the recently recalled FitBit Force, which I haven’t returned because I’m not allergic to it and it works fine for me.) I like having the buttons and lights and silly encouraging messages. Plus my best friend got one for Christmas, so we get to “compete” online.
Gravie
Mr. Gravie and I embarked on a diet modification and exercise regimen in February after we discovered that we were totally unfit for all the great outdoor activities we dreamed of doing in our new Oregon home. We knew we weren’t going to give up wine, beer and hard liquor, or food that tastes good. But we did start tracking our intake via MyFitnessPal — the perfect thing for two Type A strivers like us, who live to triumph in any competiton, even one against an automated calorie-counting program. We also found a cheap-o gym and signed up for three months with the personal trainer there, and I’ve been taking tai chi. So far, it has been a relatively painless way for each of us to lose about 15 pounds (other than the gym workouts.)
Mnemosyne
@Kristine:
Cycling is good for bad knees, too (I have a torn-and-repaired ACL). And you don’t have to go all Lance Armstrong — the “city bike” category is doing pretty well, which is the kind of upright bike you can take down to the store. I have the discontinued Trek Cocoa, and I swear when I took my test ride, I really did look and feel like this. It was like being 10 years old on my banana seat bike again, it was so fun.
c u n d gulag
@Mnemosyne:
Chair dancing?
Good advice, I’m sure.
But with my right ankle, left hip, and lower back, walking to the mailbox for me is like a mini “Trail of Tears,” or “Bataan Death March.”
Hell, I can’t even sit without chronic pain!
And as for weight-lifting, I broke my left shoulder wrestling in HS – 38 years ago, and tore all of the ligaments in the right one later in the spring, when I tried to throw the ball too damn hard from deep in Right Field, to 3rd Base.*
Physically, I’m a stone-cold mess.
And mentally, I’m none too good, either! ;-)
*I was going to have arthroscopic surgery, then still new, in the spring of 1980 – it was then an experimental operation, and the NY Giant’s football team’s orthopedic surgeon was going to do the operation on me for free!
YAY!
And then, right as the Lake Placid Olympics were about to start, I saw in that morning’s Sunday NY Times, that Dr. Marshall had been killed in an airplane accident on his way to the Olympics.
After that, I just figured operating on it, was not in the cards.
I’d been able to work out until about 5 years ago – and loved doing it.
But then, at the age of 50, it seems that my “50 Year Warranty” ran out, and everything kind of went haywire all at once.
Mnemosyne
@c u n d gulag:
Seriously, see if your library has the yoga version. It really will help, goofy as the videos look. IIRC, you can’t afford to see a physical therapist or another professional who would be able to prescribe some good exercises for you, but doing a little bit is better than doing nothing.
c u n d gulag
@Mnemosyne:
Ok, thanks!
I’ll give yoga a shot.
But if I get stuck on the floor, and I can’t get up, I’m calling YOU! ;-)
Ruckus
@c u n d gulag:
About 9 yrs ago I opened my triathlon shop, providing gear, and bike fitting. Over the years I was open I discovered that somewhere around 50, people start to slide downhill. At first it’s just a bunny hill, barely any slope at all. But it gets steeper, year by year until at some point you are skiing down the Matterhorn on one ski with, no poles, a stuck binding and your goggles are completely fogged up. You know you are going to crash, you know it will hurt, you just don’t know when, where or how.
c u n d gulag
@Ruckus:
I’m afraid that I might go into a free-fall soon! :-(
And what “kills” me, is that I was a pretty damn good athlete most of my life – until old injuries and age made me into whatever the hell I am now.
I suspect the only reason I’m still alive, is because of all of the running, then jogging, then power-walking, then exercise-bike riding I used to do.
And now I can’t even ride that exercise-bike, because my ankle is so messed-up, it bangs against the frame, each rotation.
When I was in my early 20’s, if you had told me that at 56, I wouldn’t at least be able to play a little softball, tennis, or golf, or power-walk or ride a bike, I’d have looked at you like you had three heads.
Avery Greynold
Dark? Yea, I can go there. Why do some define torture as equivalent to organ failure? Most of us will go out that way, with no expectation of a miracle escape from our torturers. Which in this case is our own failing body inflicting the pain. The young and fit imagine their exits as being painless. They make the laws against assisted suicide. The movie Harold and Maude looks different 40 years later.
Uh, yea, exercise and get at least get 80 years, that’s the message.
Ruckus
@c u n d gulag:
LOL
64 here, my slope is about 45 degrees, still have both skis, a pole and only one lens in my goggles is fogged up. The list of things that barely work is longer than the list of things that actually do. Wondering what 75 or 85 might feel like. And how the hell do I get there.
c u n d gulag
@Ruckus:
I have no interest in finding out what I’ll feel like in another 20+ years – because I sure as hell know it won’t be “better!”
Ruckus
@c u n d gulag:
Have you, or can you try a boot? I’m thinking of one of those clunky things you wear as a temporary cast, aluminum or plastic sole with velcro straps around the calf. Not necessarily a great option if it even works at all but maybe better than nothing.
Mnemosyne
@c u n d gulag:
Yay! Just make sure you take it slow and find a book or DVD specifically designed for people with physical limitations, like that “chair yoga” DVD. If you decide to jump straight to the side plank pose, I will not be responsible for the consequences! :-)
ETA: Pilates can also be good if you can find a book or DVD for people with physical limitations because much of it is done lying down — it uses yoga movements but was designed to help ex-soldiers recover from injuries in WWI.
Ruckus
@c u n d gulag:
Fully understand.
Both my parents had Alzheimer’s and for the first 35 yrs of my working life I worked along side my dad. So I’ve got a good possibility of that(genetics, environmental) along with all the physical, minimal to non functioning stuff.
Yea Me!
Kristine
@Mnemosyne: I do have a bike in the garage–I tried riding a few years ago, but then switched to running.
Ruckus
@Mnemosyne:
Don’t know about @c u n d gulag: but I think it’s possible that would actually kill me. Or at least make me want to be dead.
Kristine
I’m 55, and I can honestly say that I am in better shape now than I was in my 20s. I am talking fitness–health is another matter but I am keeping my fingers crossed in that regard.
I’ll keep pushing it until I can’t anymore. My dad played tennis–singles and doubles–until a few months before he passed at age 78. Mom walked a lot, and made it to 87. I’ll take what they had.
c u n d gulag
@Ruckus:
I have a $5,000 “Arizona” lace-up ankle brace that Medicaid paid for. THANK THE FSM I DON’T LIVE IN A RED STATE!!!
It helps me walk with a lot less pain in the ankle, but it causes my hip and back to hurt a lot more.
OY!
c u n d gulag
@Mnemosyne:
“If you decide to jump straight to the side plank pose, I will not be responsible for the consequences! :-)”
LOL!
If I’m stupid enough to do that, my last words will be to absolve you of any responsibility – or guilt!
Ruckus
@c u n d gulag:
That’s what I was afraid of.
I fit a lot of people on bikes that had injuries or as one put it, “Less than stellar working parts” and while there are many workarounds, sometimes there just aren’t. Having 2 bad knees, a bad hip and back, I understand one thing leading to another.
Once fit a man with an aftermarket knee. After we finished he said that his knee no longer got hot, which had been such a huge problem that he thought he would have to stop ridding.
I’ve had to stop ridding my road bike because the leaned over position causes my back to go out. Thinking of building a much more upright type bike as that works OK for me. Now.
Juju
@Kristine: Pee mail is what it’s called.
c u n d gulag
@Ruckus:
Yeah, after I couldn’t power-walk anymore, that exercise bike helped me lose over 140 pounds when I went on a serious diet and exercise program back in the mid-00’s, and went from over 350 lbs, down to 210.
And, I did it nice and slowly.
The problem now is not just inactivity – but I’ll try the yoga (what have I got to lose by trying?) – it’s our diet.
My mom and I live on a fixed income – her SS Survivors Benefits, and my Temporary assistance. So, getting lean meats and fish is often out of our price range – as are fresh and nutritious fruits and vegetables. I buy a lot of frozen veggies.
.
I try to cook in a healthy way, and am a pretty good cook – the problem is, my mom’s 82, and only wants to eat certain foods made a certain way. Mostly Russian and other Slavic dishes – which are not necessarily conducive to weight loss.
And we can’t afford making separate dishes, for me and for her.
So, basically, when I cook, I try to make cheap crap in as healthy a way as possible.
Being poor, SUCKS!!!!
Not that that’s any sort of a news-flash! :-)
muddy
@c u n d gulag: I was given a hinged knee brace. It totally altered my gait and threw my hip and lower back out. When I was going to PT, they put kinesiology tape on my knees to keep my kneecaps from sliding around. It looks like the cloth type bandaids, only it’s about 2″ wide, has a peel-off paper on the back. I got myself a roll on Amazon and put it on myself now. It stays on really well, for days at a time. She said there were youtube videos showing various placements for the tape, but I haven’t looked because this knee one is great and I don’t have other issues (right this minute, I hasten to add).
I’ve been riding a recumbent exercise bike recently. I found out I could pedal more if I do it when the news is on because I get mad about most of what I hear. ;-)
My knee configuration of tape looks like this in the front (_)
c u n d gulag
@muddy:
Yeah, I used to do the same thing – riding that bike when the news was on!
Every time I saw W’s, Dastardly Dick’s, Rummy’s, Condi’s, and AG the AG’s, sociopathic visages, I found myself “riding” at a much faster clip.
I don’t think that tape will work for me, though.
I’m hoping to start PT on my hip soon, once my ’95 Honda is fixed.
pluky
@A Humble Lurker: Minor qualification, those of us that can afford it.
Ruckus
@c u n d gulag:
Poor is not a good diet plan.
I haven’t had what you’d call a minimally decent income for about ten yrs. I had to take SS early to survive. I now have a part time job, using skills that I’ve developed/used over decades so the pay isn’t bad, but I can’t work full time, the physical and mental stress is overwhelming.
c u n d gulag
@Ruckus:
Being poor, is why so many poor people are fat.
The foods that are fatty, salty, sugary, and full of carbohydrates, are almost always the cheapest foods.
But, of course, some poor person had the gall to go and buy crabs legs or a steak with his/her SNAP funds, so now, our Reich-Wingers are claiming all of us poor people are using our SNAP cards for things only the wealthy should, by rights, be enjoying!
HOW DARE THE POORS ENJOY SOMETHING THEY EAT!!!!!
AND NEVER MIND “CAKE” – LET THEM EAT GRUBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If Soylent Green was made out of rich people, we “poors” would eat them at every meal.
Sadly, if the Soylent Green days ever come, we “poors” won’t be enjoying the crackers – because we’ll be IN them!
BTW – my resume’s pretty impressive, if I do say so myself.
And, up until recently, the longest I was ever out of work, was for about 3 weeks – and THAT was because I was waiting for someone to leave, so that I could replace him.
Now, it’s been 4 years since I’ve had any kind of job.
They’re not hiring us over 50 year-olds.
And certainly not overweight handicapped over 50 year-olds.
Kristine
@Juju: Hah–I’ve also heard it called ‘doggy twitter.’
Kristine
@c u n d gulag: FWIW, I have heard time and again that frozen veggies–without the sauces etc–are better than fresh because they’re flash frozen with hours after being picked, which prevents deterioration of vitamins and other healthy compounds. Fresh sometimes tastes better, but sometimes that stuff has been sitting in the produce bin for days and days.
Ruckus
@c u n d gulag:
I looked for a solid year. Online/in person. And I have several differing skill sets. Nothing. I lucked into the job I have, a referral from someone I know who turned it down as he was looking for a job closer to home and better suited to his education. I drive 40 miles each way but I’d spend more in rent than the gas to move closer. And then when I actually retired to enjoy a life of what the hell I don’t know, I’d have to find another place that I could afford. Like to find a better 4 wheeler, one that gets what might be considered actual mileage, not gallons per mile, but that looks right out. Like to travel a bit to see some things that I’ve wanted to see for decades, like that’s going to happen. I used to hear about all the people that retired and take cruses and eurp vacations. Like that is even thinkable. Oh well, cup always at least 1/8 full, I’m still alive to wish I had just a little more than ending up in a rest home, crapping in a diaper and wondering what planet this is.
c u n d gulag
@Kristine:
I’ve read a lot of articles by nutritionist’s about frozen actually being preferable to “fresh” – because it IS picked and flash-frozen when its ripe.
A lot of our produce comes from outside the USA, so sometimes it takes weeks, if not months, from the time something is picked, to the time we buy it.
Almost nothing is picked when it’s ripe.
Then when it’s picked, it’s sprayed to inhibit ripening.
Then it’s shipped – usually, by boat, and then by train or truck.
Then, when it gets to a distribution center, is sprayed to ripen – but not too fast.
At the store, it gets sprayed to really ripen.
And, if it doesn’t sell fast, it’s sprayed to inhibit further ripening – and rotting.
Basically, all of our “fresh” fruits and vegetables are chemistry experiments.
Me?
If it’s not locally grown, then I try to find a frozen version.
Ruckus
@Kristine:
I believe you heard that from the fresh frozen food industry research labs PR department.
These are the same people who swear that HFCS is no different than sugar. Or that people deserve to be poor. Or that god will save you. Or that frying twinkies doesn’t make them even worse for you…….
c u n d gulag
@Ruckus:
Those retired people we read about probably had something called a “pension.”
In a few decades, try explaining to young people what a “pension” was, and how much it meant to seniors.
I really don’t recognize this country anymore.
It’s much, much crueler than the one you and I grew up in.
But, it’s now what the Conservatives wanted after the middle class got too powerful and pissed them off, by giving equal rights to blacks – and almost, with the failed ERA Amendment, women.
Ruckus
@c u n d gulag:
This isn’t anything new with conservatives. This has been going on for centuries. Conservatives want everything for them and nothing for anyone else. And anyone else is anyone who doesn’t look/talk like/agree with them. It’s why jesus is a white dude who spoke english. How is it possible to be made in god’s image if god doesn’t look exactly like they do? Or how do you deserve anything if you aren’t already rich, like them?
Betty Cracker
@c u n d gulag: I was talking to my mother-in-law about this yesterday. My in-laws and all their snowbird friends are retired blue collar folks who have nice little houses in 55+ developments in FL. These developments used to spring up like mushrooms overnight in former cow pastures.
Of course, the crash put an end to the construction for awhile, but some new stuff is going up, and I was thinking the developers better cash in while they can, because in 10 years or so, there won’t be any middle class people left with a decent retirement income.
Kristine
@Ruckus:
Nope–I’ve read it on sites not affiliated with industry.
It’s like @c u n d gulag said–it depends how fresh the fresh stuff is. Local/farmers market whenever possible.
Ruckus
@Kristine:
Was being a little bit sarcastic. Or trying to anyway.
My only question is if frozen veg is the same, why does it not taste it? Quality of the frozen veg isn’t any better than the fresh in the market?
mclaren
This is the worst kind of bad science imaginable. A classic case of junkthink, completely wrong in every particular.
Nature is not a “technician” and does not “forge” anything. Words like “technician” and “forge” imply design. Nature doesn’t design anything. Design involves planning. Nature is much more alien than your description suggests — nature simply and randomly tries stuff. Most of the variants don’t work. 99% of all species are extinct. All species that survive have bizarre grossly inefficient structures like the 12-foot-long laryngeal nerve of the giraffe. No designer would ever incorporate anything that absurdly inefficient into hi/r design; no forge would ever produce something that mindlessly and borderline-insanely malconstructed.
But nature doesn’t care about design or efficiency. As long as a variant produces a marginal increase in survival in a species long enough for it to reproduce in a given environment, that’s all that matters.
This is exactly the opposite of the kind of “technician” and “forge” your language suggests. The gross heavy multiplicity of nature is in a deep sense horrifying: nature generates thousands of tadpoles, so that only one or two may live. Nature churns out billions of bacteria blindly, reproducing until they use up all the available food and poison their niche with wastes. Nature doesn’t care. As long as a few survive, that’s all that matters.
As humans, we’re find it almost impossible to wrap our heads around this kind of callous mindless profligate waste and random inefficiency. Nature remains deeply alien and inhuman in ways that the language of your article doesn’t even begin to suggest.
And as for your proposal that the readers of your post get off their asses and get some exercise, this study shows that marathon runners have higher heart plaque and worse risk of heart attack than sedentary older people.
Betty Cracker
@mclaren: Oh cram it up your ass, you tiresome, thick-headed fool. The only talent the random, inefficient universe conferred on you is the ability to utterly miss the point every time, you tedious, long-winded troll.
c u n d gulag
@Betty Cracker:
PERFECT TAKEDOWN!!!!!!!
kdaug
@Betty Cracker: Yep.